Welcome back, now I want to introduce you to the 00:00:14.90\00:00:16.91 rest of the family. 00:00:16.94\00:00:17.97 So Joel thank you for joining us 00:00:18.00\00:00:19.51 all the program. 00:00:19.54\00:00:20.73 Thank you for having me. 00:00:20.76\00:00:21.73 I can't wait to hear everything that you have to say 00:00:21.74\00:00:24.38 about these changes that were made and all that stuff. 00:00:24.41\00:00:26.70 First of all I want to talk with Ian. 00:00:26.73\00:00:29.36 Ian I love you, you know that don't you? 00:00:29.39\00:00:33.05 Yeah. 00:00:33.08\00:00:34.39 So I'm going to ask you, one of the first things that 00:00:34.42\00:00:38.48 you shared with me, well two things. 00:00:38.51\00:00:40.67 What you wanted to do when you grew up and 00:00:40.70\00:00:43.59 also about your garden. 00:00:43.62\00:00:45.41 So I would like to know both those things and you can 00:00:45.44\00:00:47.78 start where every you want. 00:00:47.81\00:00:49.00 First say what your name is in how old you are. 00:00:49.03\00:00:51.12 Hi I'm Ian and I am 7 and like doing stuff 00:00:51.15\00:01:00.50 like cars and working on stuff. 00:01:00.53\00:01:05.40 Okay so cars and working on stuff. 00:01:05.43\00:01:07.56 You tell me that you wanted to be a missionary. 00:01:07.59\00:01:11.58 Okay, so tell me again. 00:01:11.61\00:01:14.42 Um, I want to be a missionary pilot when I grow up. 00:01:14.45\00:01:20.69 You know what I loved about that? 00:01:20.72\00:01:22.32 What? 00:01:22.35\00:01:23.43 Because when you said a missionary pilot, I was like 00:01:23.46\00:01:25.92 shut up, a missionary pilot where you are actually 00:01:25.95\00:01:28.11 going to fly different places. 00:01:28.14\00:01:30.30 What was really cool to me, is that you are 7. 00:01:30.33\00:01:33.34 You really do have a heart for God, which is cool. 00:01:33.37\00:01:37.55 So when I got home and left your place and right before 00:01:37.58\00:01:44.32 I left your place, your uncle invited me to his place. 00:01:44.35\00:01:47.17 He has planes everywhere. 00:01:47.20\00:01:49.90 He has remote control stuff everywhere. 00:01:49.93\00:01:51.89 Tell me a little bit about your uncle. 00:01:51.92\00:01:54.17 Well he is interested in planes. 00:01:54.20\00:02:00.98 Trains - everything - everything. 00:02:01.01\00:02:04.43 Anything that has, he just builds stuff, right? 00:02:04.46\00:02:07.37 No, he bought stuff. 00:02:07.40\00:02:11.98 He buys it and puts it together. 00:02:12.01\00:02:14.08 Doesn't he built his own remote control planes? 00:02:14.11\00:02:16.66 Yeah - cool. 00:02:16.69\00:02:19.78 So he showed me that, so I went home and ordered you 00:02:19.81\00:02:22.68 a plane because I thought, you know what God I want 00:02:22.71\00:02:25.00 to give him his first plane if he is going to be 00:02:25.03\00:02:26.57 a missionary pilot. 00:02:26.60\00:02:27.91 How long did it take to get to your house? 00:02:27.94\00:02:30.01 About... - months! 00:02:30.04\00:02:34.54 It took for ever, I kept calling the people, 00:02:34.57\00:02:36.93 did you say Ian's plane yet? 00:02:36.96\00:02:38.62 It took them for ever, but you finally got it. 00:02:38.65\00:02:40.36 Had to get put together yet? 00:02:40.39\00:02:42.38 No. 00:02:42.41\00:02:43.38 Not until spring? 00:02:43.39\00:02:44.36 Yep. 00:02:44.37\00:02:45.51 Cool, I want to fly it out when you get put together, 00:02:45.54\00:02:48.34 I want to fly out. 00:02:48.37\00:02:49.43 So a missionary pilot and you also have a garden. 00:02:49.46\00:02:52.73 Tell us a little bit about your garden. 00:02:52.76\00:02:54.80 Well it has little poles sticking up in one pole on 00:02:54.83\00:03:00.92 the top end and it goes down again. 00:03:00.95\00:03:02.70 So it is a raised garden, has a box. 00:03:02.73\00:03:04.59 Yeah and then I have my own little garden that is about 00:03:04.62\00:03:09.28 from that table to this table to that table and back. 00:03:09.31\00:03:14.79 Good, so you put whatever you want in there? 00:03:14.82\00:03:17.76 Yep. 00:03:17.79\00:03:18.86 You have your rows the vegetables? 00:03:18.89\00:03:20.33 Yeah, and I actually got a melon from it. 00:03:20.36\00:03:24.78 That is cool, I have a picture of you with the zucchini about.. 00:03:24.81\00:03:27.51 oh yeah, I remember that. 00:03:27.54\00:03:30.27 It was huge, you walked in and I thought it was 00:03:30.30\00:03:33.35 bigger than you. 00:03:33.38\00:03:34.79 That is so funny. 00:03:34.82\00:03:37.91 We still have the picture. 00:03:37.94\00:03:40.06 You do? That is cool. 00:03:40.09\00:03:42.28 So what is really funny to me, is when your mom talks 00:03:42.31\00:03:45.09 about how she is trying to make the house a better 00:03:45.12\00:03:48.29 house to live in. 00:03:48.32\00:03:49.39 Do you like the way she does that? 00:03:49.42\00:03:52.47 That's way cool. 00:03:52.50\00:03:54.38 Okay I'm going to let you go play, because I know 00:03:54.41\00:03:56.89 you have been dying to go play. 00:03:56.92\00:03:58.36 So why don't you take off and go play and I'm going 00:03:58.39\00:04:01.12 to talk with your dad. 00:04:01.15\00:04:02.20 Okay, bye! 00:04:02.24\00:04:03.21 Bye thanks! 00:04:03.22\00:04:04.19 You're welcome. 00:04:04.20\00:04:05.17 That was fun, what is really fun to me even with Ian, 00:04:07.17\00:04:11.61 I know that you have gardens for all the kids. 00:04:11.64\00:04:15.04 The household is organized and 00:04:15.07\00:04:18.14 you have the control manual. 00:04:18.17\00:04:19.67 It wasn't always like that, so tell us from your take 00:04:19.71\00:04:23.79 what was the change? 00:04:23.82\00:04:25.16 Well I know once Melissa did get into Fly Ladies stuff, 00:04:25.19\00:04:30.51 we were like I say, it was the dark days. 00:04:30.54\00:04:34.58 We had a kind of come into the house and 00:04:34.61\00:04:39.84 it was like a dungeon. 00:04:39.87\00:04:41.25 I would almost, some days, feel like I didn't want to go 00:04:41.28\00:04:44.23 home from work because I knew that there was going to be 00:04:44.26\00:04:48.14 laundry to do, just to try and help her and take care of 00:04:48.17\00:04:53.28 the kids and all these things. 00:04:53.31\00:04:54.67 It really got to a depressing point I think for all of 00:04:54.70\00:04:59.63 us in the family, it was just really a dark, dark time. 00:04:59.66\00:05:04.26 But as she got into it, I was pretty skeptical. 00:05:04.29\00:05:08.58 I figured we just something for her to not do laundry. 00:05:08.61\00:05:13.22 Now she's just going to be looking at these e-mails 00:05:13.25\00:05:16.95 in writing out these lists and all these things. 00:05:16.98\00:05:19.48 Nothing was going to get done, I was pretty cynical 00:05:19.51\00:05:21.66 about it or skeptical. 00:05:21.69\00:05:23.60 Probably both! 00:05:23.63\00:05:25.77 Yeah, yeah 00:05:25.80\00:05:27.71 because it's huge changes which is really interesting 00:05:27.74\00:05:31.34 when you talk about all these e-mails, when you ask 00:05:31.37\00:05:35.05 for help, and it is an Internet Ministry, is I was 00:05:35.08\00:05:38.63 surprised I probably got 20 e-mails in a day. 00:05:38.66\00:05:41.17 Did you get your shoes on? 00:05:41.20\00:05:42.25 Did you get your laundry in yet? 00:05:42.28\00:05:43.36 Finally I am thinking, stop sending me e-mails because 00:05:43.39\00:05:47.09 no the laundry is not in yet. 00:05:47.12\00:05:48.63 And my shoes are not on. 00:05:48.66\00:05:49.71 But you do, you get reminders throughout the day. 00:05:49.74\00:05:52.72 So all that is changing and you are not sure it is 00:05:52.75\00:05:55.83 going to be an actual change? 00:05:55.86\00:05:57.98 Yeah, and especially when I saw the dishes out of the 00:05:58.01\00:06:02.36 sink and on the counter. 00:06:02.39\00:06:03.70 I was like at least if they are in the sink we don't 00:06:03.73\00:06:06.22 see them on the counter. 00:06:06.25\00:06:07.53 But after a little while she stuck with it and didn't 00:06:07.56\00:06:12.75 give into my telling her it was not a good idea. 00:06:12.78\00:06:16.48 Let's just buckle down and get this stuff done. 00:06:16.51\00:06:19.32 She just kept to the routine, and kept working on it. 00:06:19.35\00:06:22.25 I would start to see little things, like the counter 00:06:22.28\00:06:25.83 would start to be clean. 00:06:25.86\00:06:27.48 Then the rack above the washer and dryer, 00:06:27.51\00:06:30.81 there was actual soap and things sitting up there 00:06:30.84\00:06:34.20 where it all belonged. 00:06:34.23\00:06:35.37 Just little things here and there started to really 00:06:35.40\00:06:39.38 make an impact. 00:06:39.41\00:06:40.56 All of a sudden it just was a gradual thing but it seemed 00:06:40.59\00:06:45.47 like all the sudden overnight. 00:06:45.50\00:06:47.06 And the clutter all of a sudden starts to be gone! 00:06:47.09\00:06:49.93 And what is really interesting to me, and I know Melissa 00:06:49.96\00:06:52.55 you guys have felt it is that as that stuff starts to 00:06:52.58\00:06:56.40 change in your home, you start to let your shoulders down. 00:06:56.43\00:07:00.32 It starts to be where you want to come home. 00:07:00.35\00:07:02.45 Even though it seems weird for me, and I thought about 00:07:02.48\00:07:06.97 doing this program on Fly Lady, or cleaning the house or 00:07:07.00\00:07:11.19 whatever, I thought is anybody going to want to watch it? 00:07:11.22\00:07:13.73 Then I thought it's the secret to recovery. 00:07:13.76\00:07:16.65 We think recovery is about learning about our molest 00:07:16.68\00:07:20.17 issues, or what started us to be so angry or whatever. 00:07:20.20\00:07:22.94 But really recovery is to put one foot in front of the 00:07:22.97\00:07:25.81 other and do the right thing today. 00:07:25.84\00:07:27.65 Sometimes the right thing is just cleaning the sink. 00:07:27.68\00:07:31.28 You are saying, you felt the difference? 00:07:31.31\00:07:34.58 Oh yeah, you are just more relaxed. 00:07:34.61\00:07:39.29 Just when you do not have all that stuff around, 00:07:39.32\00:07:42.20 you do not have these big jobs just looming over you 00:07:42.23\00:07:45.61 that steps behind all the time. 00:07:45.64\00:07:47.75 You are able to start enjoy just hanging out. 00:07:47.78\00:07:52.90 Getting the garden going? 00:07:52.93\00:07:54.88 You can sit on the couch and now look at, 00:07:54.91\00:07:57.50 be looking into the kitchen and saying, 00:07:57.53\00:08:00.01 man, there's a lot of dishes in there, or whatever! 00:08:00.04\00:08:03.36 You can spend time as a family and do other things 00:08:03.39\00:08:08.50 and not feel guilty about doing other stuff because 00:08:08.53\00:08:11.33 you have things that you need to have done. 00:08:11.36\00:08:13.73 When I think of the woman, there is just something about 00:08:13.76\00:08:16.58 whenever our house is dirty we just feel drained. 00:08:16.61\00:08:22.29 Like it is always on our shoulders, like a weight on 00:08:22.32\00:08:26.77 us exactly and we cannot concentrate on much else fully. 00:08:26.80\00:08:30.10 So to be able to have those things done 00:08:30.13\00:08:33.59 is just so freeing. 00:08:33.62\00:08:36.79 What is really interesting, we say as a woman, 00:08:36.82\00:08:39.51 as soon as you start to take care of your home in this way, 00:08:39.54\00:08:43.37 everybody else pitches in. 00:08:43.40\00:08:45.15 The kids have their own gig that they do, 00:08:45.18\00:08:48.09 they all have jobs. 00:08:48.12\00:08:49.09 Joe I am sure that when it is not so overwhelming, 00:08:49.10\00:08:51.84 you were helping when it was overwhelming, 00:08:51.87\00:08:53.55 but it is easier when things are in control. 00:08:53.58\00:08:56.80 Your house is beautiful. 00:08:56.83\00:08:59.62 Thank you! 00:08:59.65\00:09:00.76 Your walkway, even I see that you have this walkway you 00:09:00.79\00:09:04.22 are working on, and the gardens for the kids. 00:09:04.25\00:09:06.00 So for me to come into your home, it is not like when 00:09:06.03\00:09:09.11 you were a kid and couldn't have people over. 00:09:09.14\00:09:10.82 People can come in to your house anytime and feel 00:09:10.85\00:09:14.23 at peace and welcomed. 00:09:14.26\00:09:16.95 Well thank you, and that is one of the reasons why I 00:09:16.98\00:09:20.65 personally like this so much, it is because I can 00:09:20.68\00:09:25.44 minister to other people. 00:09:25.47\00:09:26.85 People can come over and when we first built our home, 00:09:26.88\00:09:29.85 We want this to be a place where people can come 00:09:29.88\00:09:33.02 and get to know Jesus. 00:09:33.06\00:09:34.55 I am so thankful that he is able to use our home. 00:09:34.59\00:09:39.37 What is really fun is that it is a place like that, 00:09:39.41\00:09:43.55 so you guys by doing these baby steps you've allowed 00:09:43.59\00:09:47.70 God to come in and change. 00:09:47.73\00:09:48.85 I want to go ahead and meet the rest of the family. 00:09:48.88\00:09:51.17 I'm going to ask him some questions and in I want to 00:09:51.21\00:09:53.46 get away from what this is done as far as 00:09:53.49\00:09:56.17 to de-clutter the house. 00:09:56.21\00:09:58.08 How this has worked in your spiritual life? 00:09:58.11\00:10:00.44 And who you are. 00:10:00.47\00:10:01.48 Because I know that that is really where the wash rag hits 00:10:01.51\00:10:06.10 the sink, where the rubber hits the road or what ever. 00:10:06.13\00:10:09.61 I was trying to keep the sink thing going, but I couldn't. 00:10:09.64\00:10:13.08 It's kind of lame, but I tried. 00:10:13.12\00:10:14.71 I want to introduce you to the rest of the family, 00:10:14.74\00:10:17.14 I want to hear their take on it and then I want to get 00:10:17.18\00:10:19.46 back to you on how this is been in a spiritual way. 00:10:19.50\00:10:21.72 So the first person I would like to talk with is Cassidy. 00:10:21.75\00:10:25.39 Cassidy I know there has been a lot changes that you have 00:10:25.43\00:10:28.35 seen that maybe some of the younger kids have not seen. 00:10:28.39\00:10:31.28 So we are going to talk about that. 00:10:31.31\00:10:32.50 So Cassidy tell us a little bit about yourself and 00:10:32.53\00:10:34.96 what your take is on everything that your mom was saying? 00:10:35.00\00:10:39.84 Well I did notice that our house was really cluttery. 00:10:39.87\00:10:44.68 I think our school room was really the worst. 00:10:44.71\00:10:48.46 That is where we spent most of our day and it was just 00:10:48.49\00:10:52.04 absolutely disastrous because we had all our school stuff 00:10:52.07\00:10:55.58 all over the place. 00:10:55.62\00:10:57.22 We had one cabinet where we went. 00:10:57.26\00:10:58.63 You are home schooled? 00:10:58.67\00:10:59.92 Yes so it was like hard to do school and we would get so 00:10:59.95\00:11:05.98 frustrated, but then mom started to the Fly Lady. 00:11:06.01\00:11:10.11 She bought these little boxes where we put our school 00:11:10.15\00:11:14.22 blocks, and our math books, and our pencils, 00:11:14.25\00:11:17.16 and our erasers, because you could not find 00:11:17.20\00:11:20.07 an eraser in our house. 00:11:20.11\00:11:21.21 So we started organizing and it became really 00:11:21.25\00:11:27.18 easy to do school. 00:11:27.22\00:11:28.33 It was just amazing how much closer we got as a family 00:11:28.36\00:11:34.96 because when the house is cluttered and a mess, 00:11:34.99\00:11:38.08 we were always mad at each other. 00:11:38.11\00:11:40.73 Isn't it weird that, that really makes a difference? 00:11:40.77\00:11:43.52 It's like you do get frustrated with everybody. 00:11:43.56\00:11:45.55 People are on edge and I don't even think 00:11:45.59\00:11:48.19 you know why, really. 00:11:48.22\00:11:49.62 No you don't, it is just like you are blaming 00:11:49.66\00:11:52.21 everybody else because you're in a bad mood. 00:11:52.24\00:11:54.76 Because I can't find an eraser. 00:11:54.79\00:11:56.53 Yeah, I can't find an eraser anywhere and you can't 00:11:56.57\00:12:00.16 find anything and so you are yelling at everybody else. 00:12:00.19\00:12:03.75 Like, where is this? 00:12:03.78\00:12:05.08 It is frustrating but then mom started to do the Fly Lady 00:12:05.12\00:12:09.25 thing and it just opened up like the walls we had 00:12:09.29\00:12:12.94 between us came off one brick at a time. 00:12:12.98\00:12:17.45 We became closer to each other. 00:12:17.49\00:12:19.96 We could talk to each other. 00:12:19.99\00:12:22.39 My mom's new saying is that your family should be 00:12:22.43\00:12:29.35 your main circle of friends. 00:12:29.39\00:12:30.71 So you should be closer to your family than you're 00:12:30.74\00:12:34.45 outside friends. 00:12:34.49\00:12:35.62 Is just amazing how it has impacted us as a family. 00:12:35.66\00:12:40.89 We can do a lot more stuff. 00:12:40.92\00:12:42.57 Like now I can have friends over and spend the night. 00:12:42.61\00:12:45.39 That is really fun. 00:12:45.42\00:12:46.53 Because you are not so crazy. 00:12:46.57\00:12:48.21 Yeah it's not! 00:12:48.25\00:12:49.34 It's not so dark you feel like you have to hide the 00:12:49.38\00:12:52.05 laundry if your friends come over, or cleaned up by 00:12:52.08\00:12:54.72 putting things under the bed. 00:12:54.75\00:12:56.67 Yeah. 00:12:56.71\00:12:57.68 What is really amazing to me is their stuff shoved 00:12:57.69\00:13:01.75 under your bed now? 00:13:01.79\00:13:02.90 Ahhh, No! 00:13:02.94\00:13:04.83 I know I was taken a risk asking that question. 00:13:04.86\00:13:08.70 You was going, oh man... 00:13:08.73\00:13:10.30 But even those things change a little bit, which causes peace 00:13:10.34\00:13:14.10 to come into the relationship in the house. 00:13:14.14\00:13:16.07 Yeah and I can, my mom with the Fly Lady thing is 00:13:16.11\00:13:20.89 she is teaching us kids how to clean our rooms. 00:13:20.93\00:13:25.65 When you wake up you get out of bed, you make your bed. 00:13:25.68\00:13:30.22 Right when you get out because if it is not made when 00:13:30.26\00:13:34.76 you are by it, it is not going to get done. 00:13:34.79\00:13:37.09 Is it more than just making your bed, do you think? 00:13:37.12\00:13:43.27 I mean does it mean more than just that? 00:13:43.31\00:13:45.45 I think it is nice to be able to, I think it means a lot 00:13:45.48\00:13:52.25 to me because I feel like I doing something to help me 00:13:52.28\00:13:59.01 and my family. 00:13:59.05\00:14:00.17 I don't know if this sounds weird or anything, 00:14:00.21\00:14:03.56 but you feel almost like you are doing it for God, 00:14:03.60\00:14:06.92 as a love for God. 00:14:06.95\00:14:08.69 You can come into your room and read your Bible and do 00:14:08.72\00:14:16.30 stuff and there's not clothes everywhere, trashed up. 00:14:16.33\00:14:22.50 It is not like that, you can come in and relax and talk 00:14:22.54\00:14:28.67 to God in peace and hear Him talk to you. 00:14:28.71\00:14:31.94 I have noticed because we do not have so much clutter 00:14:31.97\00:14:37.58 and do not have the walls between us, we can talk to God 00:14:37.62\00:14:43.19 better as a family and personally too. 00:14:43.22\00:14:45.53 I love that, I love the fact that everything about what 00:14:45.56\00:14:49.77 is happening in your home is allowing you peace 00:14:49.80\00:14:52.84 and relationships to get better and all those things. 00:14:52.87\00:14:56.88 I have a feeling that we think the simple part of just 00:14:56.91\00:15:00.63 cleaning house, just doing the right thing day by day has 00:15:00.67\00:15:04.36 nothing to do with anything but whether 00:15:04.39\00:15:06.43 the laundry is done. 00:15:06.47\00:15:07.60 I believe what God is telling me is that it has 00:15:07.64\00:15:09.68 something to do with everything. 00:15:09.71\00:15:11.16 How your family interacts with each other, 00:15:11.20\00:15:13.29 how you interact with the world. 00:15:13.32\00:15:14.71 I love the way you said that Cassidy. 00:15:14.75\00:15:16.98 I want to introduce you now to Ella. 00:15:17.01\00:15:19.68 Ella you are the youngest girl, right? 00:15:19.72\00:15:22.35 So you did not see how bad it was with all the clutter 00:15:23.61\00:15:28.12 was because you came later. 00:15:28.15\00:15:30.41 Do you have any sense of how bad it was or has always 00:15:30.44\00:15:32.58 been together and clean and organized? 00:15:32.62\00:15:35.53 Yeah kind of. 00:15:35.57\00:15:38.45 So what is your take on it? 00:15:38.49\00:15:40.97 When you hear everybody talking, 00:15:41.01\00:15:42.49 what do you feel about that? 00:15:42.52\00:15:43.97 Not sure? 00:15:48.54\00:15:49.69 What are you learning, because I know you have a 00:15:49.73\00:15:52.09 morning routine that you do. 00:15:52.12\00:15:53.42 Tell us a little bit about the morning routine and 00:15:53.46\00:15:55.84 was it hard for you to start? 00:15:55.88\00:15:58.47 Yeah. 00:15:58.50\00:15:59.86 Okay, what is actually involved in that? 00:15:59.90\00:16:02.87 Well I had to make my bed and clean my room. 00:16:04.95\00:16:10.89 Then to clean off the counter and the table. 00:16:10.92\00:16:16.82 I had to brush my teeth and my hair. 00:16:16.85\00:16:20.91 Then we did our worship. 00:16:20.95\00:16:23.44 That is all the part of the morning routine? 00:16:25.87\00:16:27.30 And no matter what happens, whether the sun is up 00:16:27.34\00:16:30.45 or down, or what ever the morning routine happens? 00:16:30.48\00:16:33.56 I love that, I don't know if you love that yet? 00:16:34.98\00:16:37.06 But I love that. 00:16:39.42\00:16:40.60 Okay I'm going to talk with your dad. 00:16:40.63\00:16:42.26 Your dad and mom. 00:16:42.29\00:16:44.96 So I am looking at this family at different levels 00:16:44.99\00:16:48.32 so I have an awareness up with the changes are. 00:16:48.35\00:16:51.52 All the way to Ella who says I have no idea. 00:16:51.56\00:16:56.29 Now you have a new baby that is six months old. 00:16:56.33\00:17:00.99 He will never know the difference, he will never know 00:17:01.03\00:17:03.14 those dark days that Joe, you talked about. 00:17:03.17\00:17:05.73 His life is going to be this family that loves each 00:17:05.77\00:17:09.42 other and are best friends. 00:17:09.45\00:17:11.07 Each of the kids have their own garden. 00:17:11.11\00:17:13.38 You are outside doing things. 00:17:13.42\00:17:15.66 People can come into your home. 00:17:15.70\00:17:17.87 Now I want to come back to the point that I do not want 00:17:17.91\00:17:20.97 anyone to think that this show is about cleaning house. 00:17:21.01\00:17:24.04 It really isn't. 00:17:24.07\00:17:25.22 What has it done in your personal lives, 00:17:25.26\00:17:30.51 your relationship with each other, and your healing, 00:17:30.55\00:17:32.71 to clean your sink? 00:17:32.74\00:17:36.07 Well for me it has created a bond with me and Melissa. 00:17:36.10\00:17:43.16 I have been able to see her overcome something that she 00:17:43.20\00:17:48.65 was having trouble with and it also helped me to see how 00:17:48.69\00:17:54.11 I could be helping her more. 00:17:54.14\00:17:55.81 It gave me a direction to just be that part of her and 00:17:55.85\00:18:00.99 support her when she sees something in her life that needs 00:18:01.02\00:18:05.61 to change, instead of me just being no you can't do it. 00:18:05.64\00:18:10.20 And being down on her. 00:18:10.23\00:18:11.66 To see how she has actually grown through that just helps, 00:18:11.69\00:18:17.28 it helps me to be able to stand by her a little bit more 00:18:17.32\00:18:21.80 and support her and help her in the things that she is 00:18:21.83\00:18:26.28 trying to do in her life. 00:18:26.31\00:18:27.31 Has it anyway Joe, because you know I adore you, 00:18:27.35\00:18:32.36 I adore you. 00:18:32.39\00:18:33.66 From the moment we met at a, I was a speaker at a 00:18:33.69\00:18:36.63 Men's Retreat, that cracked me up. 00:18:36.66\00:18:39.05 But we met there and I adored you then before 00:18:39.09\00:18:42.23 I met your family. 00:18:42.26\00:18:43.23 Has it helped you to understand who you are as a father? 00:18:43.25\00:18:46.72 As it helped you to be in that role, I don't know if 00:18:46.76\00:18:50.82 I can say more honestly, were you more sincerely want 00:18:50.85\00:18:54.87 to be a good dad? 00:18:54.91\00:18:56.52 Oh definitely, it is just like with her she wants to be 00:18:56.55\00:19:01.78 more of a housekeeper, be more of a full woman for our 00:19:01.81\00:19:06.05 family and she has taught me through what she is doing 00:19:06.08\00:19:10.28 to be a man. 00:19:10.32\00:19:12.36 If I see something that needs to be done, to do it. 00:19:12.39\00:19:15.51 Whether it be helping the kids with their schoolwork, or 00:19:15.54\00:19:20.43 cleaning, or if something happens between their friends. 00:19:20.47\00:19:25.32 Doing worship? 00:19:25.36\00:19:26.49 Yeah especially with worship, that it's a big one because 00:19:26.52\00:19:30.63 I have been so inconsistent as the father of the House. 00:19:30.67\00:19:36.42 Having a consistent worship, it has helped to bring me to 00:19:36.45\00:19:41.19 the point where I can do this and find tools around me to 00:19:41.23\00:19:45.94 be able to use to keep my family. 00:19:45.97\00:19:49.29 One thing I will rescue you before we get any bad e-mails. 00:19:49.32\00:19:53.59 Does anybody know what I'm going to say now? 00:19:53.63\00:19:55.56 Is that you said you were going to help her to be a full 00:19:55.60\00:19:58.63 woman and do the housekeeping. 00:19:58.66\00:20:00.06 You did not mean just that? 00:20:00.10\00:20:01.47 No! 00:20:01.50\00:20:02.66 I just had to say that because I have women saying, 00:20:02.69\00:20:04.77 what did he mean by that? 00:20:04.81\00:20:06.70 So he did not mean that? 00:20:06.73\00:20:08.55 No, and I think for me, it's been harder for me to be 00:20:08.59\00:20:13.33 organized with my time. 00:20:13.36\00:20:15.01 It was harder for me to do that than it was for me 00:20:15.05\00:20:18.17 to give up smoking. 00:20:18.20\00:20:19.17 Isn't that funny? 00:20:19.20\00:20:20.17 It is! 00:20:20.18\00:20:21.15 God knows that that is my thing. 00:20:21.16\00:20:22.58 That I need a little more time with this, then I even needed 00:20:22.62\00:20:27.96 with that, so for me I know that God is a God of order. 00:20:28.00\00:20:32.67 He is working on me to try help me to be more orderly. 00:20:32.70\00:20:37.69 I have been learning to that a wise woman watches over 00:20:37.73\00:20:42.68 her household and is a good housekeeper. 00:20:42.72\00:20:47.11 God is really working on me for that. 00:20:47.15\00:20:51.47 And a housekeeper for somebody that has 00:20:51.50\00:20:54.35 junk, that has injuries in this area, housekeeper just 00:20:54.38\00:20:57.19 means, keeper of the home. 00:20:57.22\00:21:00.56 People delight to come in your home and want to go 00:21:00.60\00:21:04.29 into their own rooms. 00:21:04.32\00:21:05.37 To feel their shoulders come down, when they walk in 00:21:05.40\00:21:07.69 the house, because it is not all cluttered. 00:21:07.72\00:21:09.46 We as women or men have the privilege of learning to 00:21:09.50\00:21:13.87 heal in this area so that our homes become sanctuaries. 00:21:13.90\00:21:18.24 It's huge! 00:21:18.27\00:21:19.27 I have just been read a book that calls it a heart that 00:21:19.31\00:21:21.89 weaves a tapestry of beauty. 00:21:21.93\00:21:24.00 I really think that is what it is. 00:21:24.04\00:21:27.16 It is a heart that wants to make home a beautiful place to be. 00:21:27.19\00:21:30.87 If you've never had that, God can heal every aspect of 00:21:30.90\00:21:35.27 never having that as you learn how to shine your sink. 00:21:35.30\00:21:38.97 Right come because you know in so many ways I am learning 00:21:39.00\00:21:42.63 how to do things that people take for granted. 00:21:42.67\00:21:45.55 Explain that! 00:21:45.59\00:21:47.28 Well most people know how to keep their sink clean. 00:21:47.32\00:21:51.59 Most people know how to keep their bedroom picked up, 00:21:51.63\00:21:56.27 and I don't, I didn't, I didn't know how to do that. 00:21:56.30\00:22:00.90 I just so want to look right in the camera, 00:22:00.94\00:22:03.18 she says most people, when I walk around and deal with 00:22:03.21\00:22:06.74 most people and they don't. 00:22:06.77\00:22:08.67 We assumed they do, and we assume only see somebody all 00:22:08.70\00:22:12.54 dressed up and sitting in a public place, a church or 00:22:12.58\00:22:16.30 work or whatever, that their home life is all together. 00:22:16.33\00:22:20.02 What I am finding out is most of us are damaged in 00:22:20.06\00:22:23.02 that area, and it is interesting to look at the 00:22:23.05\00:22:25.98 degrees of damage. 00:22:26.02\00:22:27.43 God is saying, trust Me in this. 00:22:27.47\00:22:30.92 When He told me to just trust Me in this and do your 00:22:30.95\00:22:33.71 laundry today, I was just because I had baskets and 00:22:33.75\00:22:36.91 laundry and I'm thinking I don't want to do it. 00:22:36.94\00:22:40.06 What did I do wrong? 00:22:40.10\00:22:41.33 He says, nothing. 00:22:41.37\00:22:42.53 In the healing I am learning how to deal with the 00:22:42.57\00:22:46.80 healing of my depression, my anger, and all my junk. 00:22:46.84\00:22:51.04 He's just by doing those baby steps of getting 00:22:51.07\00:22:54.19 the house in order. 00:22:54.23\00:22:55.52 So tell me some of the things that you have learned as far as 00:22:55.56\00:22:58.99 healing in this process. 00:22:59.02\00:23:00.60 Well I guess I learned that God wants us to be beautiful 00:23:00.64\00:23:10.18 examples of what He is. 00:23:10.22\00:23:12.82 He wants us to be able to show people that it is possible 00:23:12.86\00:23:19.63 through Him to be able to live a life that is, I know 00:23:19.67\00:23:25.02 you hate the word, normal, what we perceive as normal. 00:23:25.05\00:23:30.86 Were we are able to do everyday things and do them well. 00:23:30.89\00:23:36.76 I love coming to your house, like for the first eight 00:23:36.79\00:23:42.62 years of my marriage, I don't think I put a 00:23:42.66\00:23:46.56 picture on the wall. 00:23:46.59\00:23:47.60 We had a ping pong table in the living room, 00:23:47.64\00:23:49.37 I like playing ping-pong. 00:23:49.41\00:23:50.51 Normal was really tough for me to come in and 00:23:50.54\00:23:53.66 just say, a couch and a coffee table, 00:23:53.70\00:23:55.89 like no way I'm never going there. 00:23:55.92\00:23:58.04 God is just let me just take you there? 00:23:58.08\00:24:00.53 When I came to you guys house and you have the stones 00:24:00.57\00:24:04.14 and are getting ready to do the new walkway up to your house. 00:24:04.17\00:24:07.04 Different plants that were going in, I wanted to sit 00:24:07.08\00:24:09.87 down and just tear up a little bit because that is so 00:24:09.90\00:24:13.75 much my heart's desire to have that kind of cool thing. 00:24:13.79\00:24:17.61 You know what I'm talking about? 00:24:17.64\00:24:19.17 Because you are doing it. 00:24:19.21\00:24:20.67 Right, and actually with that I had gone to a woman's 00:24:20.71\00:24:23.87 Bible study in one of the things they had us do to 00:24:23.90\00:24:27.35 pick five things out of different areas of our life 00:24:27.38\00:24:30.79 that we wanted to have. 00:24:30.83\00:24:32.10 One of the things on my list was I wanted to have a 00:24:32.14\00:24:35.67 well-kept yard, because that was one of the things 00:24:35.71\00:24:38.82 I was struggling with when I was working on the house. 00:24:38.86\00:24:41.94 The yard was always a mess. 00:24:41.97\00:24:43.83 You know garbage, our dog would get into the garbage 00:24:43.87\00:24:46.65 and it would be in the yard for days or whatever. 00:24:46.68\00:24:50.61 That was one of the things that God was working on me 00:24:50.65\00:24:53.78 that I needed to be able to keep the yard clean now too. 00:24:53.82\00:24:56.92 It is just one of those baby steps. 00:24:56.95\00:24:59.48 It is neat when you see people come over and they walk in, 00:24:59.51\00:25:04.66 especially people that we know, and they will be like to 00:25:04.70\00:25:08.12 them it feels like something is missing in the house. 00:25:08.16\00:25:11.55 You know, where is all the stuff? 00:25:11.58\00:25:12.86 But after they are they are a little while and you get 00:25:12.89\00:25:16.32 to talk about it, and Melissa will share some of the 00:25:16.36\00:25:19.76 things she has been learning with them. 00:25:19.79\00:25:20.89 You can just see a relieved look on their face saying, 00:25:20.93\00:25:25.85 maybe I don't need to have all these things around me 00:25:25.89\00:25:30.85 all time and you do see people actually relax and feel 00:25:30.89\00:25:35.81 comfortable without having a million 00:25:35.85\00:25:39.50 things all around them. 00:25:39.53\00:25:41.63 The house looks nice. 00:25:41.67\00:25:43.70 So you immediately get to minister to someone else. 00:25:43.73\00:25:48.06 You know they go home and do their sink. 00:25:48.10\00:25:50.57 Because I did, I left your house, I did your sink first, 00:25:50.61\00:25:54.55 but when I left your house, and what is really 00:25:54.58\00:25:56.68 interesting is that you find the benefit of the blessing 00:25:56.72\00:25:59.38 of that and it really does become your Ministry. 00:25:59.42\00:26:02.32 To give somebody else the privilege of 00:26:02.35\00:26:04.74 de-cluttering their life. 00:26:04.77\00:26:06.17 So there's all kind of stress management books, 00:26:06.21\00:26:11.30 all kinds of de-cluttering books, there is all kinds 00:26:11.34\00:26:14.41 of stuff and we need to do this in the spiritual sense. 00:26:14.45\00:26:17.49 Joe tell me if you seen this, spiritual sense as I 00:26:17.52\00:26:20.77 de-clutter the table, I literally am doing that 00:26:20.80\00:26:24.02 with my junk, my garbage. 00:26:24.05\00:26:26.86 You are able to learn through the physical stuff to 00:26:26.89\00:26:31.03 be able to put things in God's hands and just say, 00:26:31.07\00:26:35.18 You deal with this. 00:26:35.21\00:26:36.37 I do not need it and maybe I do not know how to get 00:26:36.41\00:26:40.14 rid of it, but you just take this from me and let me 00:26:40.17\00:26:43.87 be free from some of the stuff. 00:26:43.91\00:26:45.37 I'm free, I just want to say thank you so much for 00:26:45.41\00:26:47.30 coming on the program. 00:26:47.34\00:26:48.45 I was just blessed. 00:26:48.48\00:26:49.52 I know it is not all about housecleaning, but it is all 00:26:49.55\00:26:52.55 about doing baby steps. 00:26:52.58\00:26:54.51 Next time I want to hear your story Joe. 00:26:54.54\00:26:57.74 We are going to be right back stay with us. 00:26:57.77\00:27:00.93 I hope you were blessed. 00:27:00.96\00:27:02.27 I know I was blessed. 00:27:02.30\00:27:03.53 I'm going to go and clean the sink. 00:27:03.57\00:27:04.74 No I will be right back! 00:27:04.78\00:27:05.90