Hello we ended up breaking at the end of the last segment 00:00:14.02\00:00:17.78 with Amanda going back to her seat, but she turned 00:00:17.82\00:00:19.78 around and said something that I thought was so profound 00:00:19.82\00:00:22.69 that I wanted you to come back and share it with us. 00:00:22.72\00:00:25.98 You were talking about what it was like to watch this 00:00:26.02\00:00:29.24 family process their stuff. 00:00:29.27\00:00:31.38 Go ahead and share that with us. 00:00:31.41\00:00:32.72 They really showed me that they really depended on God 00:00:32.75\00:00:36.89 through the whole thing. 00:00:36.93\00:00:38.21 Usually when I think, you know when you lose that many 00:00:38.24\00:00:42.37 people in one day you are just so crushed, and I would 00:00:42.40\00:00:47.16 think that there could be suicide attempts and things 00:00:47.19\00:00:50.98 like that, because it is really hard to go through that. 00:00:51.01\00:00:55.00 I was really shocked by it because they really leaned on 00:00:55.04\00:00:59.00 each other and they were constantly praying 00:00:59.03\00:01:01.85 with each other. 00:01:01.88\00:01:02.85 They come together and worshiped God, and they really 00:01:02.87\00:01:07.42 were leaning on God as well as each other. 00:01:07.46\00:01:10.04 So wasn't just some that they said they believed this 00:01:10.08\00:01:12.01 they lived this - yeah they lived it. 00:01:12.04\00:01:13.38 And you saw this and it was different than what you saw 00:01:13.42\00:01:16.10 in your own family, and that must've been so healing for 00:01:16.14\00:01:18.79 you just watching it - yeah. 00:01:18.82\00:01:20.03 Man, thank you for sharing that with us I think that's 00:01:20.07\00:01:23.38 huge, because I think a lot of times people will say one 00:01:23.42\00:01:26.70 thing but a tragedy hits and we really find out who we are. 00:01:26.73\00:01:29.43 If you are not really believing this, it will take you 00:01:29.46\00:01:34.90 down, but what this family they believed, they believed it. 00:01:34.94\00:01:37.73 Thank you for sharing that I'm going to bring Monica up. 00:01:37.77\00:01:40.53 Monica, you're listening to, you heard everybody 00:01:40.57\00:01:44.89 and their take on it, you weren't there. 00:01:44.93\00:01:46.45 So where were you when you heard, this was your sister? 00:01:46.48\00:01:49.85 Correct and my niece, we were at home and got call from 00:01:49.89\00:01:53.23 my nephew Mark, which is Luke's older brother. 00:01:53.26\00:01:55.30 Saying he is in Michigan, and there has been a bad car 00:01:55.34\00:01:59.00 accident and we don't know what's going on pray. 00:01:59.03\00:02:02.25 So we got in a circle, we had some of our teens there. 00:02:02.29\00:02:05.46 Beau, Wyatt and my children and we got in a circle and prayed. 00:02:05.50\00:02:09.85 My husband said you're going down to Modesto for a trip. 00:02:09.88\00:02:12.28 Just go and do it, I'm sure they are fine. 00:02:12.32\00:02:14.70 And when we got into cell range, well, actually before cell range 00:02:14.74\00:02:18.67 It was about a forty minute drive. 00:02:18.71\00:02:21.74 I heard God said to me they're not going to make it. 00:02:21.77\00:02:25.51 And I said God just don't let them suffer. 00:02:25.55\00:02:27.59 The wonderful thing about the accident is, Cathy's neck 00:02:27.63\00:02:31.10 was broken, so she died immediately. 00:02:31.13\00:02:33.00 So did Candace and Katrina, we feel too... 00:02:33.03\00:02:36.97 So no one really suffered! 00:02:37.01\00:02:39.10 And that was really important to me, I don't know why. 00:02:39.14\00:02:41.80 It was so important that God just decide to tell you before 00:02:41.83\00:02:45.10 you got the final call, when you got back into cell range. 00:02:45.13\00:02:48.37 Right, I got into cell range and my husband called. 00:02:48.40\00:02:50.75 I was really close to where Cathy and Mark lived in 00:02:50.79\00:02:53.07 Waterford, California, and he said they didn't make it. 00:02:53.11\00:02:56.84 Amanda did, so I pulled over, actually at their home 00:02:56.87\00:03:00.47 some of the teens that we were working with had to 00:03:00.51\00:03:04.07 see me just cry. 00:03:04.10\00:03:06.63 I don't feel like we lost it, I called Markie, Markie's 00:03:06.66\00:03:10.27 26 and we just cried together. 00:03:10.31\00:03:13.91 Right, of course - we just cried - right. 00:03:13.94\00:03:17.11 The wonderful thing about all this is that Luke actually 00:03:17.14\00:03:21.83 forgiving the man, gave us permission to handle this 00:03:21.87\00:03:26.53 better than we would have. 00:03:26.56\00:03:27.73 Because your first inclination is not to forgive - who's 00:03:27.77\00:03:33.74 to blame for this? - right. 00:03:33.78\00:03:35.92 Exactly - I mean, who's, who can I be upset with or whatever 00:03:35.96\00:03:39.61 and with Luke forgiving the man, and realizing 00:03:39.65\00:03:42.29 it was just an accident. 00:03:42.32\00:03:44.15 We had to process in our minds, if God is in control 00:03:44.18\00:03:49.51 than God could have stopped it. 00:03:49.54\00:03:51.24 And to my mind immediately came words from the Desire of Ages 00:03:51.28\00:03:55.96 that say that if I knew the end from the beginning, 00:03:56.00\00:03:59.43 I would do this exactly the same way. 00:03:59.46\00:04:01.64 I mean, within hours of the accident, so I said okay, 00:04:01.68\00:04:05.34 this was a perfect day for Cathy and Candace to die, and Katrina. 00:04:05.37\00:04:09.43 And that sounds hard to say, but it actually gave me 00:04:09.46\00:04:13.19 peace - right - because it was perfect. 00:04:13.23\00:04:16.31 When Mark flew in, tell us about that. 00:04:16.35\00:04:19.47 Wonderful men from his men's group 00:04:19.50\00:04:22.59 met him from Turlock church. 00:04:22.62\00:04:24.44 The boys were all there, Amanda was there and they had a 00:04:24.48\00:04:29.45 big prayer there in a big hug at the airport. 00:04:29.48\00:04:31.81 Mark made the comment Satan chose to destroy our family, 00:04:31.84\00:04:36.69 but he messed with the wrong family. 00:04:36.73\00:04:38.70 And that just empowered us - everyone - yes, everyone 00:04:38.74\00:04:42.57 my parents, my sister's, my other sisters, 00:04:42.61\00:04:45.17 all of us felt empowered. 00:04:45.20\00:04:46.90 They met us at our house, our family gathered, our 00:04:46.93\00:04:51.31 extended family, - your church family - yeah and our 00:04:51.35\00:04:55.69 pastor and his wife, everybody came. 00:04:55.73\00:04:57.09 Then they told us the story, and we grieved together. 00:04:57.12\00:05:02.08 If got to say for a lot of people, what they're thinking 00:05:02.11\00:05:07.03 is if this family ever grieve, absolutely. 00:05:07.07\00:05:09.69 So you didn't miss those steps actually you didn't do 00:05:09.73\00:05:12.15 whatever but you just said that during that time we were 00:05:12.18\00:05:15.02 so settled and assured of God's love and His presence 00:05:15.06\00:05:17.86 with us that we clung to each other. 00:05:17.90\00:05:21.19 Yes, in fact music was one of our family is a singing family. 00:05:21.22\00:05:25.77 My sister was going out to sing a song with Mark when 00:05:25.81\00:05:30.42 they got to Michigan, and it was a song Markie, We Don't 00:05:30.45\00:05:35.00 Know Which Way the Wind Blows, by the second chapter of Acts. 00:05:35.03\00:05:37.71 All of us has sung that since we were young, we played 00:05:37.75\00:05:41.05 that song and all of us cried - what were some of the 00:05:41.09\00:05:44.36 words you sang. 00:05:44.40\00:05:45.37 Um, we don't know which way the wind blows, so how can 00:05:45.38\00:05:49.85 we plan tomorrow? 00:05:49.88\00:05:51.22 We don't know the way the wind blows, 00:05:51.25\00:05:53.33 so give Jesus your tomorrows. 00:05:53.36\00:05:57.51 Right - and we just all, extended family, my kids, guitar 00:05:57.54\00:06:00.85 teacher, he's like, how can you guys be dealing with this? 00:06:00.88\00:06:04.15 Not a Christian comes over, just so we can all 00:06:04.18\00:06:06.75 grieve and cry together. 00:06:06.79\00:06:08.17 It was the most profound day of my life, because I 00:06:08.21\00:06:11.74 realize that no matter what Satan put up against us, 00:06:11.77\00:06:15.27 we were in this together. 00:06:15.30\00:06:17.91 You know you love your friends, but your family 00:06:17.95\00:06:20.67 - is your family - yeah. 00:06:20.70\00:06:22.65 It doesn't matter how dysfunctional they are, 00:06:22.68\00:06:25.27 how maybe you don't all get along way in you're in a room, 00:06:25.30\00:06:28.19 but when things like that happen God knits you all together. 00:06:28.22\00:06:30.86 And what is really interesting to me is that people that 00:06:30.90\00:06:33.67 were around you and loved you, you were ministering to, 00:06:33.70\00:06:36.44 watched almost in awe as you lived out 00:06:36.47\00:06:40.39 what you are teaching them. 00:06:40.42\00:06:41.83 Not that you met them, so we're going to do this so that they 00:06:41.87\00:06:45.93 got the right message, you lived it out because this is 00:06:45.96\00:06:48.01 what God had led you during that time of grief. 00:06:48.04\00:06:50.51 Because, again I go back to each one of us, was having 00:06:50.54\00:06:55.25 our own individual walk. 00:06:55.28\00:06:56.70 So when this happened, we all had like scriptures that 00:06:56.73\00:06:59.96 we clung to and definitely the word of God was totally 00:06:59.99\00:07:03.18 our shield in this attack. - Amen! 00:07:03.22\00:07:04.86 You know I'm going to ask a couple questions and then I 00:07:04.90\00:07:09.64 want to bring up a couple more people just for us to meet. 00:07:09.67\00:07:14.97 But your relationship with God radically changed at this 00:07:15.00\00:07:20.26 time - oh yeah! 00:07:20.30\00:07:22.23 Oh yeah, because all ties were cut to this world. 00:07:22.27\00:07:25.19 When Cathy, Candace and Katrina, actually, we realized 00:07:25.23\00:07:29.37 they were all firstborn women. 00:07:29.41\00:07:30.90 Our firstborn, women, Cathy was the oldest sister. 00:07:30.93\00:07:34.11 Candace was the oldest of her family, 00:07:34.15\00:07:36.21 and Katrina would be the oldest, and we realized that they 00:07:36.25\00:07:40.10 were all God's, God always has a special place for firstborns. 00:07:40.13\00:07:43.95 And so we realized that this was okay, and we 00:07:43.99\00:07:49.80 were going to do this, and if God was in control, we were 00:07:49.83\00:07:53.90 going to go with this. 00:07:53.93\00:07:54.90 With our ties to this world, this world didn't matter anymore 00:07:54.91\00:07:57.72 The don't care about my car, and I don't care about my house, 00:07:57.75\00:08:00.90 I just miss my sister, - right - and my niece. 00:08:00.94\00:08:03.55 And so - and your going to see them again - right! 00:08:03.59\00:08:06.13 So, we have got to hurry this return of God, what can we do 00:08:06.16\00:08:10.14 to change this point 9 billion people who don't know about God. 00:08:10.17\00:08:14.36 I thought, like we were close to everybody knowing, and 00:08:14.40\00:08:17.45 then I find out, part of it was from David Asscherick, 00:08:17.48\00:08:19.96 something that I heard from him, that there were more 00:08:19.99\00:08:22.43 people that didn't know. 00:08:22.47\00:08:23.44 So we're like Heh, it's like no bars hold, we're going out. 00:08:23.45\00:08:28.45 Right, and when you say that, what's really interesting 00:08:28.49\00:08:33.21 to me with everybody Mark, Luke, with all of you guys is 00:08:33.24\00:08:37.93 that when you say that you literally went out. 00:08:37.96\00:08:41.19 Left this country went to minister in another country, 00:08:41.22\00:08:44.17 not saying that you left the kids that you were working with, 00:08:44.20\00:08:46.73 because they went with you - yeah. 00:08:46.76\00:08:48.44 We went to Ghana - actually Mark planned all that and 00:08:48.48\00:08:52.35 AHI-Adventist Health International asked us to go to 00:08:52.39\00:08:56.23 Ethiopia in October. 00:08:56.26\00:08:57.57 We are going for a year to Gimbi and we are really excited 00:08:57.60\00:09:01.32 about doing some Vacation Bible schools over there. 00:09:01.35\00:09:03.83 I watched you loving on these kids in another country, 00:09:03.86\00:09:06.31 in Ghana - and I watch the kids just full of joy, 00:09:06.34\00:09:10.03 learning some songs, singing with you, dancing. 00:09:10.07\00:09:13.69 You know, it was just what did that feel like, because 00:09:13.73\00:09:16.94 literally what the Devil meant for a tragedy changed everything 00:09:16.97\00:09:23.06 It did, he really did mess with the wrong family. 00:09:23.09\00:09:26.22 And I feel really bad for him actually right now, 00:09:26.26\00:09:29.35 because we are just so on fire. 00:09:29.38\00:09:31.88 We realize the unity that we need to pull together, 00:09:31.91\00:09:34.60 we are now a team. 00:09:34.63\00:09:35.86 There is about 10 of us, but were adding other people 00:09:35.90\00:09:38.01 14, 15 maybe by the time we get to Ethiopia. 00:09:38.04\00:09:40.83 We have prayers just for our group, we call ourselves 00:09:40.86\00:09:44.43 Here For Them! 00:09:44.46\00:09:45.43 We have a website HereforThem. com 00:09:45.44\00:09:47.23 and we just want to actually be the catalyst to encourage 00:09:47.26\00:09:52.30 other teens to find out what is real. 00:09:52.33\00:09:54.85 Because teenagers nowadays they don't want to know about 00:09:54.88\00:09:58.45 religion, they know enough about religion they want, is 00:09:58.48\00:10:02.01 it real or not? 00:10:02.05\00:10:03.02 Is it really going to happen, is God something you're 00:10:03.03\00:10:05.82 really going to hold on to, or are you just going to go 00:10:05.86\00:10:09.08 - and is this relational, and is this something that 00:10:09.12\00:10:12.30 will hold you through even something like this. 00:10:12.34\00:10:14.15 I want to talk with Stevie, and thank you for sharing, man. 00:10:14.19\00:10:21.25 Stevie, come on up I want to just ask you a couple of 00:10:21.29\00:10:24.46 things because I'm looking at all these different folks 00:10:24.49\00:10:27.62 that have been through this accident. 00:10:27.66\00:10:30.33 You literally are coming, did you come 00:10:30.37\00:10:33.01 onto the scene after this? 00:10:33.05\00:10:34.64 I've kind of always been around - right - more or less 00:10:34.68\00:10:39.27 I have been around. 00:10:39.31\00:10:40.28 I wasn't there when they heard about the accident, but I 00:10:40.29\00:10:42.74 came the next week end - right. 00:10:42.77\00:10:44.25 And they were pretty emotional about it and I was there, 00:10:44.29\00:10:47.09 like after that point. 00:10:47.12\00:10:48.22 What you do think about the way they were, the way 00:10:48.26\00:10:50.76 they handled themselves in kind of huddled together? 00:10:50.80\00:10:53.37 They really helped me in my life, because I saw that 00:10:53.40\00:10:55.94 they as a family they could pull together. 00:10:55.98\00:10:57.95 Actually it was really amazing to see and I think they 00:10:57.99\00:11:01.07 helped a lot more people by showing that 00:11:01.10\00:11:03.43 they could be strong. 00:11:03.47\00:11:04.44 Because you are in the youth group, right? 00:11:04.45\00:11:06.11 They love on you, whether you want it or not, right, 00:11:06.15\00:11:08.18 isn't it true - yeah. 00:11:08.21\00:11:09.96 Whether you wanted or not, you have been accepted by 00:11:10.00\00:11:13.36 this group that said, you know what, what ever. 00:11:13.40\00:11:15.55 We love you and we know you have stuff, but come join us. 00:11:15.59\00:11:20.85 Tell me a little bit about them that I don't know yet. 00:11:20.89\00:11:26.12 Nice - um - and be nice. 00:11:26.15\00:11:30.11 Do you go to church with them - yeah. 00:11:30.15\00:11:31.44 I go to church with them, I hang out with them a lot, I go 00:11:31.47\00:11:35.09 to their youth group, there's really not much to tell 00:11:35.13\00:11:38.18 what you see is what you get. 00:11:38.21\00:11:39.21 Like they do have family problems but they are still 00:11:39.25\00:11:41.98 happy - do they deal with them - yeah they deal with 00:11:42.01\00:11:44.42 them and they're generally happy about it afterwards. 00:11:44.46\00:11:47.65 How cool is that - it's actually really cool because my 00:11:47.69\00:11:50.82 family is really loud and they are just like oh no, it's okay. 00:11:50.85\00:11:53.31 I really do like you right now but it's going to go. 00:11:53.34\00:11:56.06 It's actually real nice it's comforting to see that 00:11:56.10\00:11:58.75 families can function normally - normal families that's fun. 00:11:58.79\00:12:03.11 Thank you for coming up. 00:12:03.14\00:12:04.40 I would like to bring Stephanie up, Stephanie I know 00:12:04.44\00:12:08.06 that I know you and you have dealt with loss in your life. 00:12:08.09\00:12:12.36 With your mom and her cancer, and now you are literally 00:12:12.39\00:12:15.89 adopted into this family and they are struggling with 00:12:15.93\00:12:19.40 that, so is that with you, because you weren't 00:12:19.43\00:12:21.48 at the accident? 00:12:21.52\00:12:22.59 But you are in this family. 00:12:22.62\00:12:23.99 Yes for me I guess I say when my mom died I was actually 00:12:24.03\00:12:32.81 more moved into the Barlow's, I was living with them so I 00:12:32.84\00:12:35.95 was at their house when she died. 00:12:35.99\00:12:37.89 So I didn't get to see her after she was dead, and I 00:12:37.92\00:12:42.77 wanted to do that, but my grandmother she was like well 00:12:42.81\00:12:46.44 I saw my husband when he died and I didn't like it. 00:12:46.47\00:12:50.07 So she didn't want me to see them. 00:12:50.10\00:12:51.34 So you had no closure with your mom - no I didn't. 00:12:51.38\00:12:54.84 I sort of did in some ways because my mom kept on saying 00:12:54.88\00:13:00.10 you need to talk to her and so I did. 00:13:00.13\00:13:03.00 She had me say, because she was just hanging on, she was 00:13:03.03\00:13:07.02 there, but she could no longer respond, she could no 00:13:07.06\00:13:11.01 longer do anything. 00:13:11.04\00:13:12.01 So I said to my mom, I don't know she heard me or not, 00:13:12.04\00:13:17.46 but I said you can let go, it's okay, I'll be okay. 00:13:17.50\00:13:22.33 That was really hard - oh man - it's hard to hear it 00:13:22.37\00:13:27.16 when you said now - yeah. 00:13:27.20\00:13:28.56 I cried I have hard time saying it, but I knew if I 00:13:28.59\00:13:34.29 said it that maybe - she could rest - she could rest, yeah! 00:13:34.33\00:13:38.06 Because she was struggling so much with the cancer - she was. 00:13:38.09\00:13:41.79 But for me what helped a lot from this accident 00:13:41.82\00:13:45.92 is that I got to see Cathy and Candice's bodies. 00:13:45.95\00:13:50.45 I've got to have closure with them and it helped me a 00:13:50.49\00:13:54.22 lot because, I never saw a dead body. 00:13:54.25\00:13:57.00 I never seen it before. 00:13:57.03\00:13:58.57 I've known Cathy and Candace when they were alive, they 00:13:58.60\00:14:03.81 were up for Thanksgiving and stuff so we - so they're 00:14:03.85\00:14:08.98 part of your family - they were part of the family - yeah! 00:14:09.02\00:14:11.11 I was coming into their family and I was trying to 00:14:11.15\00:14:14.01 get to know everyone. 00:14:14.04\00:14:15.18 So when I got to see them it really made me, I was 00:14:15.21\00:14:20.46 afraid at first, but then when I saw them I was relieved. 00:14:20.49\00:14:25.73 I was afraid that all my goodness see in them dead I 00:14:25.76\00:14:29.03 might not be so for afraid, but I was like 00:14:29.06\00:14:31.04 that's not really them anymore. 00:14:31.07\00:14:33.80 They are resting - they are resting and then 00:14:33.83\00:14:36.75 I cried a lot because I felt 00:14:36.78\00:14:39.52 better because since I didn't see my mom, that helped me. 00:14:39.56\00:14:44.00 And you know what I get a sense of what happened in this 00:14:44.03\00:14:48.44 house, is they cried freely too, and it was okay. 00:14:48.47\00:14:52.59 And so giving you permission, of course cry - it's okay! 00:14:52.62\00:14:57.34 I felt really alone when my mom died, because my 00:14:57.37\00:15:00.93 parents, my new parents now, my new family they knew her 00:15:00.97\00:15:05.22 but not very well. 00:15:05.26\00:15:07.02 So I felt very alone because I was the only one grieving. 00:15:07.05\00:15:10.34 It felt, to me, like I was the only one, it felt silly to cry 00:15:10.38\00:15:15.27 because I was the only one. 00:15:15.31\00:15:17.48 It felt really good, it helped me when that was able to 00:15:17.52\00:15:22.61 cry with other people - and have everybody surrounding each 00:15:22.65\00:15:26.88 other - and everyone - comforting each other - exactly. 00:15:26.91\00:15:31.42 How incredible and you know to me I just want, I want to 00:15:31.45\00:15:34.92 keep thanking them for how much they are loving on you. 00:15:34.96\00:15:38.22 But I also want to thank you for loving on them. 00:15:38.25\00:15:41.07 You know what I mean because it's just both ways. 00:15:41.11\00:15:43.86 I want to bring Mark back up and I want to thank you for 00:15:43.90\00:15:47.90 sharing with us on this. 00:15:47.94\00:15:49.52 Mark I want you to come back up because I want to ask 00:15:49.56\00:15:53.23 something that I know that people probably think about, 00:15:53.26\00:15:56.90 and I used to think about this until I talked with 00:15:56.93\00:16:00.38 different friends who have gone through horrible experiences 00:16:00.42\00:16:03.23 where they have lost someone they loved. 00:16:03.26\00:16:04.61 Is it difficult for you to talk about this, is it hard 00:16:04.64\00:16:09.42 for you to bring it up? 00:16:09.46\00:16:10.69 No, there is relief from talking about it because of my 00:16:10.73\00:16:15.80 wife and daughter in law, because it helps that people 00:16:15.84\00:16:20.88 haven't forgotten them. 00:16:20.91\00:16:22.34 That's what I don't like is when people don't talk about 00:16:22.38\00:16:25.02 it to me - yeah when they're afraid to say what's up 00:16:25.06\00:16:27.67 and that reminds me of the accident, we were 00:16:27.71\00:16:30.27 passing by the same place. 00:16:30.30\00:16:31.67 If people are afraid to talk about it then there is a 00:16:31.71\00:16:34.63 fear about forgetting. 00:16:34.66\00:16:35.78 Yeah people want to avoid the obvious thing that needs 00:16:35.81\00:16:39.37 to be said about missing Cathy, or something, when they 00:16:39.41\00:16:42.93 see picture something, when people ignore it. 00:16:42.97\00:16:43.94 It is not healthy to ignore the past, sure we miss them 00:16:43.95\00:16:49.84 I cried twice a day for at least six months every 00:16:49.87\00:16:52.80 morning because I loved her and missed her even though I 00:16:52.84\00:16:55.84 know that Jesus is going to raise her back to life soon. 00:16:55.87\00:16:59.42 The reason people cry is because you love the person, 00:16:59.46\00:17:03.03 that's a good reason to cry, because you miss them. 00:17:03.07\00:17:06.57 It is not something to be ashamed of, even as a Christian. 00:17:06.61\00:17:10.75 There is a couple things you wanted to share with us, 00:17:10.78\00:17:12.95 what are they? 00:17:12.99\00:17:15.59 Well I was praying one morning about two weeks after Cathy 00:17:15.62\00:17:19.38 died, I was kneeling by the bed and I don't remember 00:17:19.42\00:17:22.35 what I was saying but all of a sudden it came to me that 00:17:22.39\00:17:25.29 I loved Cathy more than Jesus. 00:17:25.32\00:17:28.14 I had been raised an Adventist I really knew Jesus 00:17:28.18\00:17:32.69 righteousness by faith and understood that at 21. 00:17:32.73\00:17:37.17 Somehow it got to the place where I loved Cathy more and 00:17:37.20\00:17:42.52 didn't put Jesus in His first-place, actually I love 00:17:42.55\00:17:47.84 myself first and then Cathy. 00:17:47.87\00:17:49.88 And then Jesus to be honest, but now after spending a 00:17:49.92\00:17:56.47 I lived a year by myself after Cathy died. 00:17:56.50\00:18:00.04 That was the best thing that could have happened to me, 00:18:00.08\00:18:02.54 I was dreading going to be living alone. 00:18:02.57\00:18:04.50 Because you thought how am I going to feel, 00:18:04.53\00:18:06.36 because I'm so used to having Cathy around. 00:18:06.40\00:18:08.15 God said you know what, you and I are hanging out. 00:18:08.19\00:18:12.60 That was good to be by myself because I started every 00:18:12.64\00:18:16.34 morning with Jesus and ended every morning with Jesus. 00:18:16.37\00:18:19.86 Nobody interrupted me, now I can do what I want to do. 00:18:19.90\00:18:23.21 That may sound selfish, but that was how it worked out. 00:18:23.25\00:18:26.69 You know we wives know we interrupt you - we know that. 00:18:26.73\00:18:30.14 Sometimes yeah that's been known to happen. 00:18:30.18\00:18:32.41 So what I was dreading was the best thing for me. 00:18:32.45\00:18:36.77 I needed to spend more time with Jesus, even though 00:18:36.81\00:18:41.10 I was an elder in the church. 00:18:41.13\00:18:42.33 Jesus is first in my life, I love Him more than anything else 00:18:42.37\00:18:47.77 I am not afraid of dying because everything 00:18:47.81\00:18:52.02 is in God's timing I know. 00:18:52.05\00:18:53.71 So now everything is kind of shifted to their 00:18:53.74\00:18:55.71 rightful places - yes. 00:18:55.75\00:18:57.35 Wow - and I'm, but Holy Spirit is finally being allowed 00:18:57.39\00:19:01.73 to do what He can do - Amen. 00:19:01.76\00:19:03.59 God is so good I just want to say again that I love Him 00:19:03.62\00:19:10.58 and He loves me. 00:19:10.61\00:19:11.72 So you have put together even these trips were they have 00:19:11.75\00:19:16.18 gone overseas to minister to kids in other countries, 00:19:16.22\00:19:19.77 what brought that up because it wasn't something you 00:19:19.81\00:19:23.32 were doing before the accident. 00:19:23.36\00:19:24.71 No, in 2004, Cathy and I went with Share Him, used to be 00:19:24.74\00:19:30.26 Global Evangelism and they change names. 00:19:30.30\00:19:32.36 Where to get us volunteers from this country to go preach 00:19:32.40\00:19:36.18 somewhere else, and after they get you there, the orientation 00:19:36.21\00:19:39.04 is really not to benefit these other countries, it's to 00:19:39.08\00:19:42.03 benefit you, so you learn to trust God more. 00:19:42.06\00:19:44.70 So did you preach - yeah, Cathy and I both preached. 00:19:44.74\00:19:47.03 The first time I ever preached is when I stood up over 00:19:47.07\00:19:49.33 there to preach. 00:19:49.36\00:19:50.53 And that preached 17 sermons - didn't scare you, were 00:19:50.56\00:19:53.56 you not scared - I was scared but I was praying and 00:19:53.60\00:19:56.56 when I stood up my fears went away - Amen! 00:19:56.60\00:20:00.28 I preach 16 or 17 sermons. 00:20:00.32\00:20:03.53 That's amazing - and that was such a good experience, 00:20:03.57\00:20:07.29 that was the closest time in Cathy and my relationship. 00:20:07.33\00:20:11.58 We did not have any irritations, you know a lot of time 00:20:11.62\00:20:15.84 somebody wrong inflexion in the voice they will 00:20:15.88\00:20:18.56 irritate you, but that didn't even happen the three 00:20:18.60\00:20:21.07 weeks we were in Ghana because we spent several hours a 00:20:21.10\00:20:23.54 day preparing for the sermons and praying. 00:20:23.57\00:20:27.30 When God is the center of our life it's great. 00:20:27.34\00:20:30.70 It really is a whole different thing - so once I 00:20:30.74\00:20:34.03 experienced that, I mean after the accident I wanted the 00:20:34.07\00:20:39.30 family to experience that. 00:20:39.34\00:20:40.89 So I arranged for my sons and Amanda and Monica and her 00:20:40.93\00:20:47.41 family to go to Ghana were Cathy and I preached. 00:20:47.45\00:20:50.43 To go back to the two churches because the most godly 00:20:50.46\00:20:53.42 man I ever met is Pastor Manuel Gaza in Ghana. 00:20:53.46\00:20:56.53 I wanted them to meet him because when we were with him 00:20:56.57\00:20:59.71 we prayed all the time. 00:20:59.74\00:21:00.71 With Pastor Gaza, I wanted people to meet him. 00:21:00.72\00:21:04.60 So it took the 9 of us plus one of Mark's friends, 00:21:04.64\00:21:08.54 Mark and Luke's friends from Michigan because I wanted 00:21:08.57\00:21:12.44 to change their lives like it had changed mine. 00:21:12.48\00:21:15.59 And from what I hear it did change their lives. 00:21:15.63\00:21:18.68 I saw some clips on your website, definitely on my space 00:21:18.71\00:21:23.43 page, that I looked at the joy in these kids life that 00:21:23.47\00:21:28.15 was just amazing. 00:21:28.19\00:21:29.21 You had prayer for that pastor's wife, his wife right, 00:21:29.25\00:21:33.65 that literally you saw healing. 00:21:33.69\00:21:35.07 Yes we went to visit him, Pastor Gaza and his wife at 00:21:35.10\00:21:40.90 his home because she had not been out of bed for 3 or 4 weeks 00:21:40.94\00:21:44.56 At least that she has Rheumatoid Arthritis, and we went 00:21:44.59\00:21:50.48 to their house to pray. 00:21:50.52\00:21:53.01 Monica suggested that we ought pray for her, and so we 00:21:53.04\00:21:57.78 got her out of her bedroom, she came out in the living 00:21:57.82\00:22:01.51 room and we prayed and then we left because we had a 00:22:01.55\00:22:05.20 meeting to go to at their church that night. 00:22:05.24\00:22:06.89 About halfway through the meeting she came walking in 00:22:06.93\00:22:11.96 the church - were you shocked? 00:22:11.99\00:22:14.68 Yeah she had walked almost a mile to the church and here 00:22:14.71\00:22:18.25 she hadn't been out of bed for 3 or 4 weeks 00:22:18.29\00:22:20.56 because of her arthritis. 00:22:20.60\00:22:21.75 I was told she got up and did a praise dance - yeah they 00:22:21.78\00:22:25.12 do a little dance and she did that too after her not 00:22:25.16\00:22:28.46 being out of bed. 00:22:28.49\00:22:29.48 And we just knew God was working because of trusting Him. 00:22:29.52\00:22:35.24 What I love is if we allow God, even during our most 00:22:35.28\00:22:41.84 difficult times, as He said, if you sit with Me, I 00:22:41.87\00:22:44.36 will walk you not only through this, but our 00:22:44.40\00:22:46.80 relationship gets stronger, but you will understand what 00:22:46.84\00:22:49.99 I mean by this is a controversy. 00:22:50.02\00:22:51.71 You are aliens here, this is not even your home. 00:22:51.74\00:22:55.42 When He comes we're going to be taken out of this world 00:22:55.45\00:22:59.09 and there will not be death, accidents, molested kids, 00:22:59.13\00:23:02.73 addicts and all that kind of stuff. 00:23:02.77\00:23:04.11 He says if you allow Me to be real to you here, that the 00:23:04.15\00:23:07.12 world will be different and for you guys it is different. 00:23:07.16\00:23:10.10 Yes we are at war, the Great Controversy Series is 00:23:10.13\00:23:16.12 called the Great Controversy. 00:23:16.15\00:23:17.81 We think hard times are bad for us, but they are 00:23:17.84\00:23:22.98 actually the best because that is when we turned to God 00:23:23.01\00:23:26.33 more and trust in Him. 00:23:26.37\00:23:27.77 So I came to the place that I was thankful that my wife 00:23:27.81\00:23:30.93 died first, and not me because she will not have to go 00:23:30.96\00:23:34.68 through grieving my death - she wouldn't be unprotected. 00:23:34.71\00:23:39.68 So we are at war here and we want to be fighting for 00:23:39.71\00:23:44.64 Jesus like Mrs. White speaks about the war 00:23:44.67\00:23:49.27 between good and evil. 00:23:49.30\00:23:50.43 And God is, in war there is casualties, because the 00:23:50.46\00:23:56.61 enemy isn't happy with what we're doing. 00:23:56.65\00:23:59.07 What is really interesting is that there was a place in 00:23:59.11\00:24:02.36 the Bible that I came to one time that was like don't 00:24:02.39\00:24:05.61 back away from trials too soon. 00:24:05.65\00:24:07.73 Don't run when something slams into you because this is 00:24:07.77\00:24:10.69 going to really develop a lot within you, not that God 00:24:10.73\00:24:13.56 planned it, not that I'm going to do this because she 00:24:13.60\00:24:16.40 needs to develop this. 00:24:16.43\00:24:17.48 It is like He just says you are in a war and so these 00:24:17.52\00:24:19.75 things are going to happen, but in Christ 00:24:19.79\00:24:22.02 I will carry you through. 00:24:22.05\00:24:24.07 I will all things work together for the good to those 00:24:24.11\00:24:27.43 that love God and we say that so easily, but it doesn't 00:24:27.47\00:24:30.76 feel easy when we are going through it. 00:24:30.80\00:24:32.54 You know what I mean, but it does turn out for good. 00:24:32.58\00:24:34.93 You do stand up cleaner for Christ after a tragedy like this 00:24:34.96\00:24:39.19 And my relationship had come to a place with Jesus that 00:24:39.22\00:24:42.26 it was growing, but He wasn't in the first place, but He 00:24:42.30\00:24:45.30 was preparing me and so I never got angry at God. 00:24:45.33\00:24:49.60 Why God that is a question that didn't come because He 00:24:49.63\00:24:52.84 was growing me and preparing me. 00:24:52.88\00:24:55.22 You really stood as a spiritual leader in this group 00:24:55.26\00:25:00.22 during this time. 00:25:00.25\00:25:01.98 I've been told that, I always feel I'm not worthy of 00:25:02.01\00:25:05.03 that but God uses the average person and so I will except that 00:25:05.07\00:25:09.38 I sense that every time I'm around I can sense that you 00:25:09.42\00:25:12.15 This is really the position that you stood up in. 00:25:12.18\00:25:15.33 I just want to say thank you for joining us. 00:25:15.37\00:25:19.28 Thank you everyone for coming. 00:25:19.32\00:25:21.16 We are going go ahead and take a break and come back in. 00:25:21.20\00:25:24.37 I would like to close with a statement from you Luke if I can 00:25:24.40\00:25:29.15 It's hard to say wrap this up because I don't think it's 00:25:29.19\00:25:34.42 wrapped up until Christ comes - right! 00:25:34.46\00:25:36.37 And Cathy walks back into your arms, do you know what I 00:25:36.40\00:25:39.05 mean that's the ultimate wrapping this up is that we are 00:25:39.08\00:25:41.66 reunited with those that we love, your sister, and Candace 00:25:41.69\00:25:45.34 and the baby Katrina. 00:25:45.38\00:25:47.69 That's the goal, you know what I mean that's the way God 00:25:47.73\00:25:51.95 says press on, I'm towards that mark don't forget what 00:25:51.98\00:25:55.90 you are doing here, don't move in here, you know what I 00:25:55.93\00:25:59.82 mean don't settle here because we're going home. 00:25:59.85\00:26:02.06 Well the person I want to see first at the resurrection 00:26:02.10\00:26:04.91 now is Jesus, not Cathy. 00:26:04.94\00:26:06.84 Where before it would have been the other way around, 00:26:06.88\00:26:08.80 but now I want to see Jesus first, yeah. 00:26:08.84\00:26:11.44 Isn't that cool, but He says I just want to heal your 00:26:11.47\00:26:15.25 heart and get those priorities right. 00:26:15.28\00:26:17.75 How incredible we're going to be right back. 00:26:17.79\00:26:20.24 Man - I just want to be real enough that I can walk 00:26:20.27\00:26:24.99 through this am bless somebody else's life. 00:26:25.02\00:26:27.44 Maybe I'll go on a mission trip with you guys. 00:26:27.47\00:26:29.86 Stay with us we'll be right back! 00:26:29.89\00:26:31.61