Welcome to
Celebrating Life in Recovery,
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I'm Cheri your host.
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I travel a lot and I'm
blessed by a lot of people I
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meet, and how God
is loving on them.
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And for a brief time I get
the privilege of stepping in
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and being a part of that love.
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So, I want to introduce you
to some of these friends today.
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So come in and join us!
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Welcome back, you
know, it is just fun.
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I love to be able
to come up and say
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these are some friends of
mine, I have been blessed by
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every single testimony,
every single one of the
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folks I'm going to introduce
you to I have been blessed.
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They have changed
me so I'm not even do a
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teaching today, I'm just
go to start by introducing.
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First of all I want to
introduce you to Monica.
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Monica was funny because
I'm doing this Women's Retreat.
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And I'm running a hundred miles
an hour, I'm trying to figure
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out okay the time for
this, and we're doing Anointing.
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You know how busy it was,
every time I turned around
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she's like in my face, poof.
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I want you to talk about
that because it cracked me up.
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Well, I knew I
needed to talk to you.
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I needed to talk to you
about all the teens I was
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dealing with and you
were up front all the time.
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Like you said doing Anointing,
so I walked outside of
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the Women's Retreat, 400 people.
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I waited out there and
say God I need to talk to
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her and I know I do.
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Right then, you miraculously
got out of your seat, the
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other lady was speaking,
you walked right to me.
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And I'm like so
freaked, it was so freaky.
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You came right to me and
I went Cheri, I no you're
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really busy, but
give me like 15 minutes.
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Your like right
now, let's do it.
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So we walked over to your
room, and we were able to talk
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about the teens and
what we're going through.
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My husband and I having a
new daughter, whose mother
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died of cancer - when you
say that, that you brought in
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to your home - yeah - okay.
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So talk about that
because as you were talking.
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Cause I'm looking at first,
this kind of frantic thing
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about, I've just got in a
few minutes we have to talk and
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as we get to the room and start
talking, I realize, that I love
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you, I love the fact that you
are ministering to folks that
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either have been
abandoned, because somebody's
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died in their live.
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Or kids not being cared for,
and all of a sudden I wanted to
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grab you and say God bless you.
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Where were you when I was a kid?
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You know what I mean,
that's for my heart was.
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You know, I would have
picked you up in the second.
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I know you would, I know
you would and would have loved
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me because you and your
husband are just really stepping
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into this ministry.
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At that time, you were
like it was kind of new for you,
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people were just coming to you.
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Yeah, we weren't asking, we
had just done vacation Bible
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schools in our area,
which is very small like 700
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people, we'd get a hundred...
We now get 120 kids in an area
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that has hardly any people.
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But Vacation Bible
schools, when she is telling me
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this I am thinking,
okay, that is kind of cute.
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And then I literally go
and speak with her church.
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I see the vacation
Bible school, and they have
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made a waterfall slide.
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That is, like, how long is that.
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150 foot - a 150 foot were
kids can slide down that, in
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castles, I mean it literally
was this entire area that
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was made to this rock
climbing wall, that you are
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climbing up the Eiffel Tower.
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So you really do hands-on
stuff to minister to these
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kids, to try to get them
interested enough to come so
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you can minister to them.
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Right, since we are - and
you had them build it themselves
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Well some of the kids as
the kids become part of our
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family than they are involved
in a thirty foot high rock
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wall Beau built,
and painted that.
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Which then we
turned into big Ben and
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Stephanie painted it, big Ben.
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We change it up every
year to what it's going to be,
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this year it's
going to be camouflage.
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It's going to be Operation
Rescue, rescuing family and
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friends across enemy lines.
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Wow, wow! And that's what
you do that's your ministry.
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I kind of make up the
themes and then my husband, the
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mastermind, the
imaginer that doesn't get paid.
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Right, but you know, I just
want to let people know that
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for a lot of times I see
vacation Bible schools, and I
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see some really cool
cardboard cutouts and stuff, but
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you guys literally build
buildings and waterslides.
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I wish just like sitting
there, and I thought if I was a
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kid I would just be
hanging out with you guys.
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You couldn't get rid of me.
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Well, the 100 foot water
slide was actually on America's
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Funniest Videos - no way - yeah!
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Because my niece went
down it and went over the pond
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headfirst in the mud.
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And she got an honorable
mention, which is pretty good.
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But very safe, we do get
that checked out - very safe,
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other than this mud bank.
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Well mud doesn't
hurt anything, you know.
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So the kids we have been
doing that for about 14 or 15
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years, so I have like a base
of kids that are used to us.
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Can before we go there I
would just like to ask you
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where did you come
from, that you had that love?
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Because you know you weren't
an abandoned kid, I mean.
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I don't know, I think
it's God kind of developed in
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Scott and I just love for Him.
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I think it automatically
came, we used to run an elderly
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care home and did
that for 15 years.
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The love just started coming
from looking at people, you
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had to be aware of what
they needed, they couldn't
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always tell you - right.
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Taking care of Alzheimer's
and Dementia and in doing
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that you are trying to
search out what they need.
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So for kids was really
similar they're not going
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jump out and say I
really need this - right.
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And they may be even acting
out of anger and cussing you
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out, but in reality
they need you to hold them.
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Well yeah, in fact we
were joking last night,
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Stevie was off the stage.
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Stevie was saying. I remember
when you first came to be
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VBS, I know I was scared of
you because you like beat up
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all the other girls.
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And I would like, Oh no Stevie's
I hope they don't get in a
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fight, but Stevie is
like she is my main person
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to organize things.
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When she talks the kids listen,
she is so ordained of God.
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So your love literally went
to these kids, and I went to
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your youth group,
because not only did you say
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in that room telling me that
you want to put this out there.
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I want to ask you some questions
about how God is leading us, and
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I'm just so proud of you.
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I'm so proud of you, and then
you said we really need to come.
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We have a Meth problem that kids
are getting lost, I'm afraid
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for them and just feel like,
we actually got to come and
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hang out with you and
hang out with the youth group.
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And I watch these kids from
all over the place, from all
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different walks of life.
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Well, do you remember the
one guy that got up in the
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middle of your speaking.
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It's because you made him
uncomfortable, because he is
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one of the dads that is
really a tough dad to deal with.
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In fact in our vacation
Bible school - was I nice to
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him? - yet you are
more than nice - okay.
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Good because he gets up -
before you go - he gets up to
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leave, and I'm thinking,
excuse me, I'm not done talking.
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And they look at me like
I'm leaving anyway - No! no!
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you're sitting down.
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It's funny because my
heart just says. I'm not just
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saying sit down, because
I'm trying to be a pain here,
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but I know recovery is
incredible and if you could
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only give God a chance.
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I think that for the
youth to because I just want to
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say, and I'm getting bold
up here because I love him.
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But if you want to give
God a chance, I know that your
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life would be just incredible.
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So I hardly let people leave
the room, so I feel bad and
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think was, I mean, did I
make him sit down - it was
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really good and he was
really the one I could tell the
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Holy Spirit is trying to get to.
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Was he the one that went
to the bathroom when I said do
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you want us to wait?
- yes - did he get back?
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Like I can stop talking
until you come back in the room.
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He was like, no! no! and go
ahead, would you leave me alone?
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Actually when you spoke at
the school, you picked up to
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Kevin, a guy in the audience.
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Kevin and that was so God
ordained, because I knew you
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had no way of knowing it.
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But his little 3 kids had
been praying, and my VBS and
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every day, I was
there when they would pray.
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In their prayers, the
kids were like 4, 6, and 8.
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Would pray for their dad in
rehab, and then you picked him
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out of the crowd.
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What is really interesting
about picking out Kevin is
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that God so told me
here is somebody that is
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lost in his addictions.
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Really losing everybody's
losing because he is so
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vacant, not present for them.
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God wanted to call him
home, and he is still not in a
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place, he is still struggling.
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And I knew even picking
him out, and sometimes I just
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want to say, can't just
grab you by the face and beg you
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to walk out of that.
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And you know with what
Kevin was really interesting is
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when he was picked out
that I knew for a minute
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he heard me - yes he did.
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He did try some recoveries,
just it was tough - yes.
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That's what you made a big
deal about my husband and I
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loving them, the truth is it
is God doing it because believe
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me on a Saturday you know I have
all the kids home at my house.
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I would like to just do a few
lay activities that every one
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else does, but I can't because
there's a pond outside, they
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are all jumping in, or we
have got to go help somebody.
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That night, Saturday Night
Live are youth group, and we
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have to prepare for that.
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Music we've got just fun
things we do for that, but yet
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what I'm trying to explain
to the kids is that we are
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not trying to entertain them.
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I can't entertain them.
I'm not an X-box I can't do all
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these things, but they
actually know where they can go
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when something is bad.
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That is the most
important thing, if something is
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happening at
home, I can call Monica.
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In fact, one girl and my
daughter Stephanie were on a
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merry-go-round before
Stephanie, my daughter
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before her mother died.
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They were on a merry-go-round
and Stephanie pushed really
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hard and hit Lori on the
tooth and the tooth broke - no.
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And she didn't call her
parents, she called me and Scott
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It was on a Friday and
I'm like what am I going to do
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and this girls crying.
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I said we will come pick
you up, and we took her to a
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nice Adventist dentist who
on a Friday night and fixed
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her so she wasn't
embarrassed to meet the world.
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It was just amazing, because
I need them to know there
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is some place to run - Amen!
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I want to, I'm going to
introduce every single body, but
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I just want to say, I have
blessed your passion, and I
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am blessed by the fact
that when you reach out to youth
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it's a harder group
because they are so abandoned.
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And in their abandonment
they are so angry that you
00:11:00.11\00:11:03.90
really have to let them go
through that before they trust
00:11:03.94\00:11:06.77
you enough to say, okay, we
can play and just be kids again.
00:11:06.80\00:11:09.59
Well usually, they are
pretty mad at me, usually they
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don't like be at first - right.
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Because I'm like in their
face, a little bit - yeah,
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I can see that.
00:11:15.63\00:11:16.80
But it is just because I
know they need something or
00:11:16.84\00:11:21.02
they want to tell me
their way of life is okay.
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So I'm saying, how's it going
for it - it's not working- yeah.
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Amazing, I want to bring
Stephanie up so Stephanie.
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When you talk about
Stephanie, you call her your
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daughter, which she is.
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Then Stephanie, she talks about
your mom and your mom's death.
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So how did you meet Monica
and what happened to your mom?
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Actually, I Monica through
VBS, through that same girl
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who broke her teeth.
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Lori, she convinced me to start
coming to, she's like oh yeah,
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if you go to their VBS
they will get you to go to camp
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for free, I was like
I've never been to camp, sure.
00:11:59.96\00:12:02.84
You know for
free that will be fun.
00:12:02.88\00:12:05.26
So I started to go
and I started becoming
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better friends with them.
00:12:09.60\00:12:11.34
I would go to the night
groups and everything to the
00:12:11.38\00:12:19.68
Saturday Night Live and then
my mom started getting sick.
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Sick from - sick from
pancreatic cancer - okay, wow.
00:12:23.15\00:12:28.60
She was at first, in
her pancreas, and then
00:12:28.64\00:12:33.12
moved to her liver.
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Did she have drugs alcohol
or any of those kind of issues?
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You know I never really had
that close relationship with her
00:12:38.38\00:12:42.98
I only know that she smokes
cigarettes and did marijuana.
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I'm not sure that she
did anything else, but my mom
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does, Monica knows, some
of her friends that she did
00:12:52.04\00:12:56.41
hang out with did do that.
00:12:56.45\00:12:58.02
I remember a lot of times
that they were going to a room
00:12:58.05\00:13:00.75
and be in there for a long time.
00:13:00.79\00:13:02.91
I know she didn't like alcohol,
but she did once in awhile.
00:13:02.95\00:13:07.03
Okay, so her
cancer kept getting worse?
00:13:07.07\00:13:10.82
It got worse and
it was really hard.
00:13:10.86\00:13:14.54
I slowly, I watched her slowly
die - I can't imagine that.
00:13:14.57\00:13:19.82
It was, I wanted to run
away, I didn't want to be
00:13:19.85\00:13:24.24
around, seeing her die -
didn't want to feel that.
00:13:24.27\00:13:28.62
I didn't know what to do - yeah.
00:13:28.66\00:13:30.13
I her face, she was
always very heavy, and when she
00:13:30.17\00:13:37.71
got sick. We had a
hospital bed inside of our house
00:13:37.74\00:13:40.13
because she didn't
want to go to the hospital.
00:13:40.16\00:13:41.66
She was very skinny, she
was so skinny, her jaw line
00:13:41.70\00:13:48.03
was, I mean, you
can see everything.
00:13:48.07\00:13:50.41
She was just yeah, just
lost it all, everything her rib
00:13:50.45\00:13:54.99
cage seem to start sticking
out more because of all the
00:13:55.02\00:13:59.53
cancer on the inside,
and it was really hard.
00:13:59.56\00:14:03.47
One thing I really wanted
to, I feel guilty now, I hate
00:14:03.50\00:14:09.47
it, that I did
not want to be there.
00:14:09.51\00:14:12.82
But now when I think
about it, I cry because I wish I
00:14:12.86\00:14:16.85
had gotten in that bed and
laid down right next to her.
00:14:16.88\00:14:20.18
You know - and you know
when you say that, that it is
00:14:20.21\00:14:22.74
really tough because my
heart just breaks for you
00:14:22.77\00:14:25.26
because I know
what you are saying.
00:14:25.29\00:14:26.49
You know, I just buried my
dad in December. So I am just
00:14:26.53\00:14:30.25
accepting the cancer and
stuff and I want to say that I
00:14:30.28\00:14:33.96
am sorry that you
didn't get to but I understand
00:14:34.00\00:14:36.39
your feelings is I
just wanted to run.
00:14:36.43\00:14:38.42
You just couldn't deal with the
fact that all this is happening
00:14:38.45\00:14:41.53
and I have no control.
00:14:41.57\00:14:42.70
Yeah, it was
really tough for me.
00:14:42.73\00:14:46.58
I never really had a
relationship with my mom because
00:14:46.61\00:14:49.91
she was very into many guys.
00:14:49.94\00:14:53.94
So it actually was her second
husband, I found out was my dad.
00:14:53.97\00:15:00.65
I never got to know him,
he liked beat me when a was a
00:15:00.68\00:15:06.09
baby. So my mom used another
guy to get away from him.
00:15:06.12\00:15:10.89
And in doing that she felt
obligated to stay with that
00:15:10.93\00:15:15.66
guy, because then
she had my sister.
00:15:15.70\00:15:17.96
So, she was with him for a
while and then she was with
00:15:18.00\00:15:23.80
another guy who
molested me for a long time.
00:15:23.83\00:15:27.43
Then when she started
getting sick, she was with two
00:15:27.47\00:15:31.82
other guys - do you
think anybody has any idea the
00:15:31.85\00:15:36.13
different things that you
have had to deal with in your
00:15:36.17\00:15:39.43
life, that you have
buried in your heart.
00:15:39.46\00:15:42.81
Did you think, to me when
you first started talking the
00:15:42.84\00:15:45.46
first time I met you and
you started telling me some of
00:15:45.49\00:15:48.37
this stuff, I just looked at
you and thought I had no idea.
00:15:48.40\00:15:51.24
You look beautiful
and grounded in Christ,
00:15:51.28\00:15:55.96
and I know you love God.
00:15:56.00\00:15:57.41
When you started, tell me
about your life, I just wanted
00:15:57.44\00:16:00.80
to hold you and weep
you know, I just want to say
00:16:00.84\00:16:03.62
I'm sorry for all that.
00:16:03.65\00:16:05.32
But when you walked into
a church, and somebody sees
00:16:05.36\00:16:08.35
you, they don't know all
that stuff, they don't know
00:16:08.39\00:16:11.34
what you have been through.
00:16:11.38\00:16:12.55
I've actually, I never used
to be as confident as I am now.
00:16:12.59\00:16:17.84
I used to, my new parents
have helped me a lot on that.
00:16:17.87\00:16:23.09
They helped build
myself self esteem and made
00:16:23.12\00:16:28.91
me feel that I was loved.
00:16:28.95\00:16:33.11
I have two parents who
loved me, even though sometimes
00:16:33.14\00:16:36.72
they really don't want it,
are actually going to help me.
00:16:36.75\00:16:41.48
And they are like being a
waitress just won't get you
00:16:41.52\00:16:46.22
through, because like
my mom was a waitress.
00:16:46.25\00:16:49.22
That's actually
all she did really.
00:16:49.25\00:16:52.13
And we barely made it
through or buy anything.
00:16:52.16\00:16:55.93
So I was like we were
alive, we had a house, and she
00:16:55.96\00:17:00.38
said, but did you own it?
00:17:00.41\00:17:01.77
No! So I slowly started
becoming with my worth ethics
00:17:01.80\00:17:10.35
got better and I could go
to a job - so after, as your
00:17:10.38\00:17:13.19
mom was dying then you met
Monica and those guys through
00:17:13.22\00:17:18.21
vacation Bible school?.
00:17:18.25\00:17:20.25
I had met them before that -
okay - and so my relationship
00:17:20.28\00:17:24.25
with them started getting
stronger as mom was dying.
00:17:24.28\00:17:28.79
One night my mom told me
that I could choose who I
00:17:28.82\00:17:32.50
wanted to go live with,
because she didn't want me to
00:17:32.53\00:17:35.44
live with my daddy
either, but it is your choice.
00:17:35.48\00:17:38.29
But what is really interesting
to me is when both you
00:17:38.33\00:17:41.28
and your sister had to
decide where your going to live
00:17:41.32\00:17:44.23
when your mom dies.
00:17:44.27\00:17:45.53
Both of you had different
dads in different states and
00:17:45.56\00:17:48.62
its like you were going
to be separated with somebody
00:17:48.65\00:17:51.67
that you didn't
even hardly know.
00:17:51.70\00:17:53.17
Yeah, my mom was actually
afraid that my dad would fight
00:17:53.20\00:17:57.09
more, well actually that
my sister's dad would fight
00:17:57.13\00:18:00.99
more was ending
up to be like mine.
00:18:01.02\00:18:03.19
I was like okay lets do
whatever and for me my dad was
00:18:03.22\00:18:07.69
all of a sudden, like no she
can't, I can have my rights now.
00:18:07.72\00:18:10.56
He even had the gall to
tell me when I said, that mom
00:18:10.60\00:18:14.13
passed away, it was like
he did even know she was sick.
00:18:14.17\00:18:17.38
I'm like, she called you
and told you, I saw her come
00:18:17.42\00:18:20.83
out of the room crying and
you're saying you're blaming
00:18:20.86\00:18:24.20
her all of a sudden saying Ah
she is not sick that's not right
00:18:24.24\00:18:28.27
He was like getting all mad
with me, and I'm like, now I
00:18:28.31\00:18:32.09
really know I don't
want to live with you.
00:18:32.13\00:18:33.55
And so one day after my
mom told me I could pick who I
00:18:33.59\00:18:39.17
wanted to live with, I got
Scott and Monica by themselves.
00:18:39.21\00:18:44.17
I was like really nervous,
was like, what am I, how am I
00:18:44.20\00:18:49.13
supposed to ask, I want
to live if you - we be my
00:18:49.17\00:18:51.96
parents - we be my parents.
00:18:51.99\00:18:53.75
That's really awkward.
00:18:53.79\00:18:54.90
But I did, it was like my
mom gave me a choice and I
00:18:54.93\00:18:58.97
picked you guys, and I
don't know - what did they say?
00:18:59.01\00:19:03.37
They were like, we will
pray about it, but they were all
00:19:03.41\00:19:07.70
smiles and did not make me doubt
that all of a sudden I wasn't.
00:19:07.74\00:19:12.44
But I did, I might just
ask them I wonder they don't
00:19:12.47\00:19:18.19
want to, that's
embarrassing you know.
00:19:18.23\00:19:19.55
Like I was starting to get
afraid, but after that night
00:19:19.58\00:19:24.33
it was, everything
started working out very well.
00:19:24.36\00:19:26.75
Do you know what I want
to ask you, because I am so
00:19:26.79\00:19:29.15
thrilled that Monica
stood in front of you.
00:19:29.18\00:19:31.60
I'm so thrilled that she
took it to God and I so love
00:19:31.63\00:19:35.74
God for telling them,
yes, are you kidding me, yes.
00:19:35.78\00:19:39.76
I know that your relationship
with God, because you
00:19:39.79\00:19:43.20
were acting out one
point using stuff a little bit.
00:19:43.24\00:19:47.38
And so for you to come
back around where you stand in
00:19:47.42\00:19:51.52
Christ now, how did that happen?
00:19:51.56\00:19:53.55
I started, like said a
started going to church because
00:19:53.59\00:19:58.30
umm, Laura got me to
come to the VBS because then I
00:19:58.34\00:20:03.01
started going to church.
00:20:03.05\00:20:04.02
I mainly was going to the
church though, because there
00:20:04.03\00:20:06.73
was two really cute
guys there - yeah ha, ha.
00:20:06.77\00:20:09.54
So listen up two guys, you know,
you bring people in the building
00:20:09.58\00:20:13.41
That is one of the reasons
I started going, but now, one
00:20:13.45\00:20:16.92
of those guys is my brother.
00:20:16.95\00:20:19.13
How odd is that - it kind of
is, I get made fun over that.
00:20:19.17\00:20:26.75
But I started like after I
was 12, started getting into
00:20:26.79\00:20:32.95
more of a hate thing,
because when I was 11, a that's
00:20:32.98\00:20:39.11
when I finally started maturing.
00:20:39.14\00:20:41.47
I finally told Rick, my
mom's boyfriend, - stop doing
00:20:41.51\00:20:49.80
this to me - stop
get away from me - right.
00:20:49.84\00:20:52.86
He would still try to make
me feel bad and stuff and I
00:20:52.89\00:20:55.80
would just start getting
angry and wanting to punch him.
00:20:55.83\00:20:58.59
And other things like that,
so I really started getting
00:20:58.63\00:21:01.36
into a bad crowd.
00:21:01.39\00:21:02.38
There was one girl who she
lied all the time I have no
00:21:02.42\00:21:06.31
clue what she told me that
was even truth from any of it.
00:21:06.34\00:21:10.55
But I hung out with her
we would go out to drugs, I
00:21:10.59\00:21:15.44
never got into anything
serious, but I got, I did a lot
00:21:15.48\00:21:20.30
of marijuana,
cigarettes and did alcohol.
00:21:20.33\00:21:23.38
I did a lot of that what
ever I could have I took -
00:21:23.41\00:21:27.21
whatever was in
front of you - yeah.
00:21:27.24\00:21:28.91
I knew for a fact that I
didn't want to do anything like
00:21:28.95\00:21:32.66
Meth, you know, but if I
would have kept on at it I
00:21:32.70\00:21:36.38
probably would have.
00:21:36.42\00:21:37.50
Because I wasn't very
strong in what I really wanted.
00:21:37.54\00:21:39.93
At what is really interesting
for a lot of people that
00:21:39.97\00:21:42.59
they don't know is that
escape that wanting to get away
00:21:42.62\00:21:45.21
from all that
pain is very intense.
00:21:45.24\00:21:47.39
It's like whatever is
going to help me to get through
00:21:47.43\00:21:50.07
these few years I'm
going to take - yeah.
00:21:50.11\00:21:52.69
Not realizing that God
is looking after you - yeah.
00:21:52.73\00:21:57.70
I hadn't no clue, I was
13, and I had a 16-year-old
00:21:57.74\00:22:02.67
boyfriend and he was turning 17.
00:22:02.71\00:22:06.66
My mom at first, my real
mom before she died she was
00:22:06.70\00:22:10.33
like, I really don't know
if you should be dating this
00:22:10.37\00:22:13.24
guy, and I'm like it's
fine for not doing anything.
00:22:13.28\00:22:16.12
Because she is your
mom is coming back to God
00:22:16.15\00:22:17.98
a little bit there.
00:22:18.01\00:22:18.98
She was totally as I start
going to VBS more, going to
00:22:18.99\00:22:22.07
church, she was
slowly coming to.
00:22:22.11\00:22:24.39
She always knew of God, and
we had a Bible in there, but
00:22:24.42\00:22:27.82
it was like the King
James version so I was like, I'm
00:22:27.86\00:22:31.22
not reading this thing.
00:22:31.26\00:22:32.23
Because it was hard to
understand - it was very hard.
00:22:32.24\00:22:35.17
I tried at one point like
this is interesting I am a
00:22:35.21\00:22:38.11
going to try to read
it, and she said good luck.
00:22:38.14\00:22:39.71
So I didn't have very much
encouragement on that either.
00:22:39.75\00:22:46.48
but I would hang out with
them and I would get messed up.
00:22:46.52\00:22:52.63
I would call my boyfriend
on the phone and say, because
00:22:52.66\00:22:57.82
I'm still a virgin, technically,
but through my mind,
00:22:57.85\00:23:02.97
because of the
molestation, I'm not.
00:23:03.01\00:23:05.57
So, I think of the sexual
very often - right because
00:23:05.61\00:23:10.41
that's what that damage
does - yeah it haunts me.
00:23:10.45\00:23:14.67
It haunts me my sleeps
and everything, in my dreams -
00:23:14.70\00:23:18.83
and you know what. I don't
even think that people that
00:23:18.87\00:23:22.97
molest people take advantage
of kids realize that you are
00:23:23.01\00:23:26.63
haunted by that, it changes
to I am and how I see the
00:23:26.67\00:23:30.22
world until God literally puts
His hand on that brings healing.
00:23:30.26\00:23:33.25
Yeah - it's huge - yeah,
because even lately everyone
00:23:33.29\00:23:37.93
everyone just started breaking
down, you know spilling out
00:23:37.96\00:23:43.45
and all of a sudden, because
I hadn't said this to anyone.
00:23:43.49\00:23:48.95
I'm still having dreams of
having sex and stuff like that.
00:23:48.99\00:23:53.88
But a lot of the guys
that live in my household were
00:23:53.91\00:23:58.08
kind of afraid of me,
because they kept getting vibes
00:23:58.12\00:24:01.80
from me, that I don't
even realize I'm sending off.
00:24:01.84\00:24:05.45
I wasn't having any thing,
it was will people from my past
00:24:05.48\00:24:12.30
A lot of times it was just
a dark figure - and you know
00:24:12.33\00:24:15.02
what I want to just say
because I'm so glad you're here,
00:24:15.06\00:24:18.84
because I love you.
00:24:18.87\00:24:19.97
I think that you come up to
my mind a lot as I go through my
00:24:20.01\00:24:24.89
day as I travel and whatever
and you are in my prayers.
00:24:24.93\00:24:27.50
So I'm glad you're here,
so I would like to go through
00:24:27.54\00:24:30.09
some of that with you because,
as that stuff comes back
00:24:30.13\00:24:32.84
at us and it's in our dreams,
is in our thoughts and you
00:24:32.87\00:24:35.55
think, what just happened here?
00:24:35.58\00:24:37.42
Because ours just do this
normal thing, trying to pray
00:24:37.46\00:24:39.98
and all of a
sudden I had these images.
00:24:40.02\00:24:42.71
Then we feel like we are
horrible, the devil I think
00:24:42.75\00:24:45.97
oppresses us, and God says,
you know what. I promise you
00:24:46.01\00:24:49.19
that, and I will
bring you victory with that.
00:24:49.23\00:24:52.02
It is not you, and it is
not your fault, and so you know
00:24:52.05\00:24:55.82
what you and I are
hanging out before you leave.
00:24:55.85\00:24:58.06
Alright - okay - just
to go through some of that.
00:24:58.09\00:25:00.46
And I wish some times
that we could get a whole show.
00:25:00.49\00:25:03.43
Just to go through this
because, 1 in 3 girls are
00:25:03.46\00:25:06.69
molested in this
country and 1 in 4 or 5 boys are
00:25:06.72\00:25:09.91
molested in this country.
00:25:09.95\00:25:11.16
And so we wonder why we
are so twisted sexually.
00:25:11.19\00:25:13.41
I just wanted to say, God
never intended that, and you
00:25:13.44\00:25:16.28
know that right - yeah - God
never intended - I do know that.
00:25:16.32\00:25:19.12
What I am the strongest
with God, I don't have those
00:25:19.15\00:25:24.88
dreams, I feel better, I'm
more confident I can stand.
00:25:24.91\00:25:28.27
My dad was teaching me to
keep my posture because before
00:25:28.30\00:25:31.12
it was like what's up.
00:25:31.15\00:25:33.01
Now I try to keep my posture,
and when I'm closest with
00:25:33.05\00:25:38.06
God, I remember to do this
and I feel good about doing it.
00:25:38.09\00:25:42.84
But when I'm not - you can
see it in your body - I can
00:25:42.87\00:25:47.44
feel it, I start getting
cranky a lot, I don't want
00:25:47.47\00:25:52.00
anyone talking to me,
I just want what I want
00:25:52.03\00:25:55.84
that sort of thing.
00:25:55.88\00:25:57.31
My problem is I wanted to
make friends with everyone.
00:25:57.35\00:26:03.83
Like we have a whole bunch
of cousins that came up for
00:26:03.86\00:26:07.65
Michigan and were
with living with us.
00:26:07.69\00:26:08.97
And I was just like -
cousins from your new parents.
00:26:09.01\00:26:11.41
New parents,
00:26:11.45\00:26:12.48
Yes, and I was like I
want to make friends with these
00:26:12.51\00:26:16.77
guys. But then everything
because I was trying to do
00:26:16.80\00:26:20.99
selfish things. I was
like really hard time with
00:26:21.03\00:26:23.95
it, because everyone was
trying to stay away from me
00:26:23.99\00:26:26.88
because you hit a hiccup.
00:26:26.91\00:26:28.03
Could she know I was in
recovery, I don't even know like
00:26:28.07\00:26:31.19
when I first came in the
church because I had all that
00:26:31.22\00:26:34.31
stuff that you have
the molest and the junk.
00:26:34.34\00:26:37.06
And I like come in and
I want to be accepted by
00:26:37.10\00:26:39.74
everybody, but I am so
inappropriate, I'm like you who
00:26:39.78\00:26:42.45
my name a Cheri and I try
to kill myself when I was 8.
00:26:42.49\00:26:45.70
And they are looking at me
like poof, poof and because
00:26:45.74\00:26:48.25
we don't know how to act
because we've so damaged.
00:26:48.29\00:26:50.73
We literally almost try to
overact, which causes people
00:26:50.76\00:26:54.11
to back up and we see then
we don't want that to happen.
00:26:54.14\00:26:57.45
Yeah - it really is
just a frantic thing.
00:26:57.49\00:27:00.47
And, I literally Steph, want
to have a program just on this.
00:27:00.50\00:27:05.18
Right now I want to pray,
we have got to take a break.
00:27:05.22\00:27:09.93
I just want to pray that
you know what I'm telling you
00:27:09.96\00:27:13.72
through that, do you know,
I'm telling the truth - yeah.
00:27:13.75\00:27:17.09
You know that I got through
it? - I can see it - alright.
00:27:17.13\00:27:20.74
So I'm telling you, I promise
you God will be faithful,
00:27:20.77\00:27:24.35
and you will get through this.
00:27:24.39\00:27:25.86
And He will teach you to
stand in Christ, and it's such
00:27:25.89\00:27:31.36
incredible how the
stuff will not plague you.
00:27:31.40\00:27:33.68
And we will hang out before
you leave and deal some of
00:27:33.71\00:27:37.03
that, but I just think, I
think that you are incredible,
00:27:37.06\00:27:40.34
beautiful women of God.
00:27:40.37\00:27:42.01
I think that what He has
done in your life is amazing.
00:27:42.04\00:27:44.80
And I wish that I could
somehow take that damage and all
00:27:44.83\00:27:47.55
that and have that off of you.
00:27:47.59\00:27:50.17
But God and you are going
to work through that - Amen -
00:27:50.20\00:27:53.70
you know that.
00:27:53.73\00:27:54.70
I'm going to have prayer
and we're going to take a break.
00:27:54.71\00:27:56.08
Give me your hand - dear
Father in Jesus name I just
00:27:56.12\00:27:58.78
pray for Stephanie.
00:27:58.82\00:27:59.94
I pray that every
single person out there that
00:27:59.97\00:28:02.01
understand what she just
said, and have been through
00:28:02.04\00:28:05.35
molestation, abuse, and
loss and abandonment and all
00:28:05.38\00:28:08.05
those kind of things will
stand there and say I don't
00:28:08.09\00:28:10.73
even know how to act sometimes.
00:28:10.76\00:28:12.15
And I'm trying I'm trying
standing in Christ, I'm trying
00:28:12.19\00:28:14.94
to fight these images
and have these dreams.
00:28:14.98\00:28:17.87
I let go of God in this happens.
00:28:17.90\00:28:19.15
I pray for every single one
of us that have gone through
00:28:19.18\00:28:21.62
that and I pray for Stephanie
as she goes through that.
00:28:21.66\00:28:24.55
I pray that your Holy
Spirit just settle us and I pray
00:28:24.59\00:28:28.44
Father with everyone watching
these issues, Stephanie in
00:28:28.48\00:28:32.30
particular, keep Your
hand on her and let her know
00:28:32.34\00:28:35.21
beyond a doubt that You are
faithful in her recovery and
00:28:35.25\00:28:39.83
You will walk her
through this stuff.
00:28:39.87\00:28:41.44
There is going to be a
time in her life that she is
00:28:41.47\00:28:43.90
wonder where this
stuff is because, she has not
00:28:43.93\00:28:46.33
had the dreams anymore.
00:28:46.36\00:28:47.78
She doesn't have the doubt
anymore, she doesn't have to
00:28:47.82\00:28:50.49
wonder whether I have
acted right or wrong anymore.
00:28:50.52\00:28:52.12
There's not that frantic stuff
because You have so healed her.
00:28:52.16\00:28:56.09
And I just claim that
in her life and am just so
00:28:56.12\00:28:58.21
grateful to be her friend
and so grateful to be a part
00:28:58.24\00:29:02.15
of who she is and I just
pray Father that You keep Your
00:29:02.18\00:29:05.71
hand on her and bless her
in recovery, um we are going
00:29:05.75\00:29:09.24
to be taking a break, right now,
and I'm just going to beg you
00:29:09.28\00:29:14.29
don't watch this
program without praying for us.
00:29:14.32\00:29:16.70
Because you know sometimes
I think that people think
00:29:16.74\00:29:19.87
that we have so
gone through all this.
00:29:19.90\00:29:22.03
and I am telling you that
there are people at every level
00:29:22.06\00:29:26.11
every level of recovery,
every level of healing and God
00:29:26.14\00:29:30.15
is faithful so we
need your prayers.
00:29:30.19\00:29:31.53
But come back, it's way cool.
00:29:31.56\00:29:33.64