Welcome to Celebrating Life and Recovery 00:00:10.38\00:00:11.94 I'm your host Cheri, and today I'm going to introduce 00:00:11.97\00:00:14.04 you to a friend of mine that literally came out of 00:00:14.07\00:00:16.21 prison and stepped into recovery. 00:00:16.24\00:00:18.49 It is absolutely the coolest thing ever. 00:00:18.52\00:00:20.51 Come join us in the café. 00:00:20.54\00:00:22.37 Welcome back, you know, what is interesting to me is 00:00:48.87\00:00:52.37 that when you talk about somebody coming out of prison, 00:00:52.40\00:00:55.45 coming out of that lifestyle. 00:00:55.48\00:00:57.16 I was on the street for ten years and 00:00:57.19\00:01:00.30 most of you know that. 00:01:00.33\00:01:01.30 I came out of some horrendous things, but the people 00:01:01.31\00:01:03.64 that I ran went in and out of jail, and in 00:01:03.67\00:01:05.98 and our of their addictions. 00:01:06.01\00:01:06.98 I would have given anything had all of them 00:01:06.99\00:01:09.41 came out at the same time. 00:01:09.44\00:01:10.66 had all of them had joined me in my recovery, 00:01:10.69\00:01:13.22 but that didn't happen. 00:01:13.25\00:01:14.61 Most of them didn't come out. 00:01:14.64\00:01:15.81 Most of them, I know didn't even live long after I came out. 00:01:15.84\00:01:19.50 So whenever I hear a prison story of somebody coming out 00:01:19.53\00:01:22.52 of jail at actually been successful in recovery. 00:01:22.55\00:01:25.04 I want to look at God and kiss Him on the face, I want 00:01:25.07\00:01:27.82 to just grab Him and say thank you for not giving up. 00:01:27.85\00:01:30.21 I want to even grab the person in recovery and say, 00:01:30.24\00:01:32.56 thank you that you fought through every single thing 00:01:32.59\00:01:35.26 that you had to fight through. 00:01:35.29\00:01:36.40 And I know it's not easy, but God bless you. 00:01:36.43\00:01:38.85 And today I want to introduce you to a friend that has come 00:01:38.88\00:01:42.54 from that background, and never gave up right? 00:01:42.57\00:01:44.55 Lemuel never gave up. 00:01:44.58\00:01:46.31 Cheri I want to say thank you for your enthusiasm, 00:01:46.34\00:01:50.28 for this program, and there have been days where it 00:01:50.31\00:01:55.27 seemed like there was nowhere to turn. 00:01:55.30\00:01:56.71 And I have lost many of my partners and friends too. 00:01:56.74\00:01:58.87 Drug addiction and that is not enough to change us. 00:01:58.90\00:02:01.94 Prison itself does not heal us. 00:02:01.97\00:02:05.73 We can go to prison and spend years incarcerated, 00:02:05.76\00:02:08.57 and that is not enough to fix us. 00:02:08.60\00:02:10.20 You know, that is why our prison rate is like 80 percent 00:02:10.23\00:02:13.70 that we return to prison. 00:02:13.73\00:02:14.97 Because the prison system, locking us up and throwing 00:02:15.00\00:02:17.33 the key away doesn't change your heart. 00:02:17.36\00:02:19.69 And that is a problem that I see in society. 00:02:19.72\00:02:22.16 In my life they tried medicating me as a young 00:02:22.19\00:02:26.47 child to predict my behavior. 00:02:26.50\00:02:28.47 So tell us who you were as a young child, because it 00:02:28.50\00:02:32.02 doesn't start where you just walk in a prison. 00:02:32.05\00:02:34.41 As a young child I want to say that the first few years of 00:02:34.44\00:02:37.44 my life, I was a raised a lot by my 00:02:37.47\00:02:41.34 grandmother and my aunt. 00:02:41.37\00:02:42.58 Where was your Dad? 00:02:42.61\00:02:44.48 We lived in Chicago, and we spent my summers 00:02:44.51\00:02:47.24 down there that is where I got my greater part of 00:02:47.27\00:02:48.83 Christianity was from my grandmother and aunt. 00:02:48.86\00:02:50.83 I remember those days. 00:02:50.86\00:02:52.04 Training as a child, you don't forget. 00:02:52.07\00:02:54.51 Before I was in first grade, I remember 00:02:54.54\00:02:58.18 two miracles in my life. 00:02:58.21\00:02:59.65 We were out making straw in the field, 00:02:59.68\00:03:02.17 and I had lost my glasses. 00:03:02.20\00:03:04.43 And my mother after about a half an hour 00:03:04.46\00:03:06.52 she said, let's pray. 00:03:06.55\00:03:07.75 And so we all get down in the field and we have 00:03:07.78\00:03:09.77 prayer that they would find my glasses, because I 00:03:09.80\00:03:12.29 couldn't see without them. 00:03:12.32\00:03:13.55 Just a few moments later there they were. 00:03:13.58\00:03:16.03 So that increased my faith in Jesus as a little boy. 00:03:16.06\00:03:19.60 And then one time when my brother and I was playing 00:03:19.63\00:03:21.88 in a tall corn field, and we were lost. 00:03:21.91\00:03:24.48 We're done playing, and in an 80 acre field. 00:03:24.51\00:03:26.89 We wanted to go home and could not find our way out. 00:03:26.92\00:03:29.22 And I said let's pray. 00:03:29.25\00:03:31.06 You said that - yeah! 00:03:31.09\00:03:32.39 My brother and I kneeled down in the cornfield 00:03:32.42\00:03:34.20 and we prayed. 00:03:34.23\00:03:35.20 And the next way we went that was the way out. 00:03:35.21\00:03:37.57 So I believed in Jesus from a little boy. 00:03:37.60\00:03:40.99 But by the time I was in first grade I had 00:03:41.02\00:03:45.22 been robbed in Chicago. 00:03:45.25\00:03:46.32 I had been robbed, they stole my little nickels and 00:03:46.35\00:03:49.63 balloons, so I had been robbed. 00:03:49.66\00:03:50.88 You personally got robbed. 00:03:50.91\00:03:52.65 I personally got robbed. 00:03:52.68\00:03:53.70 Oh shut up you're like in the first grade. 00:03:53.73\00:03:55.51 I wasn't even in first grade yet. 00:03:55.54\00:03:57.18 We lived in a high-rise apartment complex in Chicago. 00:03:57.21\00:04:01.03 I had went down to the sidewalk to meet my brother 00:04:01.06\00:04:04.01 get off the bus. 00:04:04.04\00:04:05.71 My mother told me never to go under the viaduct. 00:04:05.74\00:04:07.48 I went under the viaduct, were she couldn't see me, 00:04:07.51\00:04:09.92 and these guys came and they said you have 00:04:09.95\00:04:13.45 anything in that toolbox? 00:04:13.49\00:04:14.46 I had a little tool box with me, 00:04:14.47\00:04:15.46 And they said to you have anything in that toolbox? 00:04:15.49\00:04:17.44 yeah, I've got a couple nickels and some balloons. 00:04:17.47\00:04:19.39 They said there's a guy is going to come and rob 00:04:19.42\00:04:21.12 you so give it here. 00:04:21.15\00:04:22.12 So I sit my toolbox down and I opened it up, 00:04:22.14\00:04:23.63 I gave it to him, he busted me in my stomach and 00:04:23.66\00:04:25.76 took off with the balloons in the nickels. 00:04:25.79\00:04:27.03 He hits you even, Oh! 00:04:27.06\00:04:28.75 So I was robbed before I was in first grade. 00:04:28.78\00:04:31.47 And what is really for a lot of people they don't 00:04:31.50\00:04:35.62 understand that some places you're raised and that's 00:04:35.65\00:04:37.49 just what happens. 00:04:37.52\00:04:38.99 Day in and day out - day in and day out. 00:04:39.02\00:04:40.41 There were a lot gang type people that hung 00:04:40.44\00:04:44.06 around our apartment building. 00:04:44.09\00:04:45.37 One day we were coming out of the apartment with my mom. 00:04:45.40\00:04:47.88 She had two children, one in each hand 00:04:47.91\00:04:49.76 that I can remember. 00:04:49.79\00:04:50.89 She said, don't look back. 00:04:50.92\00:04:52.27 And we left that apartment and all these people were out 00:04:52.30\00:04:54.02 there, and I turned to look back. 00:04:54.05\00:04:55.53 I smiled at this guy and he smiled back. 00:04:55.56\00:04:59.92 So I knew that these people that my mom were afraid of, 00:04:59.95\00:05:02.65 that there were something in their heart too. 00:05:02.68\00:05:05.20 So, that was a blessing as a young boy. 00:05:05.23\00:05:06.75 I was introduced to sexual things before 00:05:06.78\00:05:11.51 I was in first grade. 00:05:11.54\00:05:12.72 That encounter inspired me then, it set me on the wrong 00:05:12.75\00:05:17.19 road in life because that's what I was seeking for. 00:05:17.22\00:05:19.35 It awoken all the sexual stuff, in you 00:05:19.38\00:05:22.04 - which shouldn't be awoken yet. 00:05:22.07\00:05:24.08 No it shouldn't be. 00:05:24.11\00:05:25.65 First grade seem like it went relatively well. 00:05:25.68\00:05:28.33 I was thinking I was still a happy kid in first grade, 00:05:28.36\00:05:31.43 but by the time I was in second grade, the teacher 00:05:31.46\00:05:33.89 was tying me in my seat with a jump rope. 00:05:33.92\00:05:35.79 I mean taking a jump rope and tying me fast in my seat 00:05:35.82\00:05:38.85 in school, because I was unmanageable. 00:05:38.88\00:05:41.61 For a second grader to be this unmanageable, it is 00:05:41.64\00:05:44.61 medication ain't going to do it. 00:05:44.64\00:05:47.41 I've seen psychiatrists-I can't imagine being tied down 00:05:47.44\00:05:50.24 with the humiliation with your friends. 00:05:50.27\00:05:52.27 I understand what she was trying to do, but as your 00:05:52.30\00:05:56.29 friends and your peers that must have been goofy. 00:05:56.32\00:05:59.14 It didn't work, I mean, it didn't work, it didn't 00:05:59.17\00:06:02.08 control my behavior. 00:06:02.12\00:06:03.54 I never got recess, and the only way I got my 00:06:03.58\00:06:06.84 homework done, is that I would go up to get the 00:06:06.87\00:06:08.76 teachers editions off the desk, because she was out 00:06:08.79\00:06:10.75 with the children with recess. 00:06:10.78\00:06:12.07 I would get my homework done ahead of time two or three 00:06:12.10\00:06:14.75 weeks ahead of time and one day she came back. 00:06:14.78\00:06:16.70 Got my book and she looked through it. 00:06:16.73\00:06:18.25 She didn't say a word she put it back. 00:06:18.28\00:06:19.56 I remember buying my first pack of cigarettes 00:06:19.59\00:06:22.79 in second grade. 00:06:22.82\00:06:24.16 They were thirty five cents, and I thought if I can 00:06:24.19\00:06:26.85 sell these for a nickel apiece, I'll make a dollar. 00:06:26.88\00:06:28.57 So that's started very young in my mind to 00:06:28.60\00:06:30.49 try to make money. 00:06:30.52\00:06:31.56 In a Christian school we got caught smoking cigarettes. 00:06:31.59\00:06:36.67 I was smoking cigarettes with a seventh grade girl. 00:06:36.70\00:06:38.82 We was out smoking cigarettes, I couldn't sell them. 00:06:38.85\00:06:40.69 I was giving them for her to smoke, and she 00:06:40.72\00:06:42.08 would give me candy. 00:06:42.11\00:06:43.08 So then I went to a stop smoking deal. 00:06:43.09\00:06:47.24 The principal said, in order to come back to school I 00:06:47.27\00:06:48.69 had to go to a five-day stop smoking plan, whatever. 00:06:48.72\00:06:50.79 So I said to my mom I really wasn't smoking, but I will go. 00:06:50.82\00:06:53.06 After the program there were police up there and 00:06:53.09\00:06:57.04 they showed all the parents all the things about drugs, 00:06:57.07\00:06:59.44 marijuana, what is this, what is that. 00:06:59.47\00:07:01.64 So I got an education on the uppers, downers, 00:07:01.67\00:07:05.13 what is this, what is that. 00:07:05.16\00:07:06.28 So, what I started hearing that stuff on the street, 00:07:06.31\00:07:08.29 that is what I sought after even though I didn't 00:07:08.32\00:07:10.93 know for sure what it was. 00:07:10.96\00:07:12.17 Because I had heard it I had gotten that understanding. 00:07:12.20\00:07:14.97 So even when you said, you heard it and literally enticed 00:07:15.00\00:07:22.30 you, rather than repulsed you? 00:07:22.33\00:07:24.90 Exactly-so it's like I have got to find 00:07:24.93\00:07:26.65 that that must be fun. 00:07:26.68\00:07:27.97 What is an upper, what is a downer. 00:07:28.00\00:07:29.50 So, I learned as a young boy, what I thought - what 00:07:29.53\00:07:36.70 kind of guy were you? 00:07:36.73\00:07:38.61 I mean is kid, were you angry, were you everybody's 00:07:38.64\00:07:42.08 friend, I mean, what kind of guy were you? 00:07:42.11\00:07:43.80 I never fit in anywhere. 00:07:43.83\00:07:45.29 I never fit in school, I had hardly any friends, I was 00:07:45.32\00:07:48.39 kicked out of every school maybe two times in a year. 00:07:48.42\00:07:51.07 I would go to one school or two schools in one year. 00:07:51.10\00:07:52.88 So you weren't there long enough to 00:07:52.91\00:07:54.03 connect with anybody? 00:07:54.06\00:07:55.67 No - really - no! 00:07:55.70\00:07:57.19 I got bullied when I was a little kid, I was fat and 00:07:57.22\00:08:00.43 couldn't do any push-ups, couldn't do any sit ups, I 00:08:00.46\00:08:02.66 didn't fit in nowhere. 00:08:02.69\00:08:04.14 And I wanted to fit in. 00:08:04.17\00:08:05.14 And you know, I didn't feel like I fit in real good 00:08:05.15\00:08:07.25 with the family, because my poor dad had to come down 00:08:07.28\00:08:10.24 to teachers conferences, come down to the jail, had to 00:08:10.27\00:08:12.95 send me to counseling, and all these issues. 00:08:12.98\00:08:14.83 So, I felt a real problem child, which I really was. 00:08:14.86\00:08:17.26 When you said down to jail, were you in juvenile hall too? 00:08:17.29\00:08:20.70 I mean did you start going into jail as a kid or a 00:08:20.73\00:08:24.06 I was on my way there, because I would 00:08:24.09\00:08:26.33 not obey my parents. 00:08:26.36\00:08:27.36 My dad couldn't beat it into me. 00:08:27.39\00:08:30.33 Because beating I grew up, do as I say, and finally 00:08:30.36\00:08:33.79 he said, if you don't want to respect the rules in my 00:08:33.82\00:08:36.27 house, you can get out. 00:08:36.30\00:08:37.47 And I said fine and at that point I left. 00:08:37.50\00:08:40.36 I don't know if I was sixteen years old, 00:08:40.39\00:08:41.94 right in that age somewhere. 00:08:41.97\00:08:44.05 So life at that point, I believe I already 00:08:44.08\00:08:48.65 found about alcohol. 00:08:48.68\00:08:49.76 That would stand down at the 7-Eleven, and I'd say 00:08:49.79\00:08:51.57 I'd buy you a six-pack if you'd buy me a six-pack. 00:08:51.60\00:08:53.52 I would drink three or four quick. 00:08:53.55\00:08:54.86 I'd go home and go to sleep, not meaning no harm, 00:08:54.89\00:08:57.40 just to make the pain of life go away. 00:08:57.43\00:09:00.55 And life shouldn't have been painful for me because I 00:09:00.58\00:09:02.74 a loving family, loving mother. 00:09:02.77\00:09:04.23 I used to take a razor blade, and like cut my arms, cut them. 00:09:04.26\00:09:08.65 I never knew why until I heard on one of your last shows 00:09:08.68\00:09:11.46 about a girl cutting herself on your last series. 00:09:11.49\00:09:15.22 It was Vickie Duffey. 00:09:15.25\00:09:16.31 I never understood, through that I was getting some type 00:09:16.34\00:09:18.64 of release, and I felt like the bad guy. 00:09:18.67\00:09:21.39 And I would tear up my room, I would trash my room. 00:09:21.42\00:09:23.37 I would break my guitar, break my lights. 00:09:23.40\00:09:25.50 I would just frustrate my grand parents, they would 00:09:25.53\00:09:27.90 give me gifts, underwear, socks, 00:09:27.93\00:09:29.65 and new clothes for Christmas. 00:09:29.68\00:09:30.92 I didn't feel worthy, I didn't feel 00:09:30.95\00:09:32.93 I was worth anything. 00:09:32.96\00:09:34.41 You know what's horrible, I think when I hear you speak, 00:09:34.44\00:09:36.84 is for a child they cannot figure out why is this. 00:09:36.87\00:09:40.37 Why don't I fit in. 00:09:40.40\00:09:41.51 Why don't I belong anywhere, we don't know why, we don't 00:09:41.54\00:09:45.02 have any idea about genetic 00:09:45.05\00:09:46.20 predispositions, or that you have a disorder, or that 00:09:46.23\00:09:50.41 you're hyperactivity or any of that kind of stuff. 00:09:50.44\00:09:53.28 I just know I don't fit in. 00:09:53.31\00:09:54.62 I just know that nobody wants me, I just know that when 00:09:54.65\00:09:57.12 I walk in the room everybody is like. 00:09:57.15\00:09:59.64 And it's like, how do I deal with that. 00:09:59.67\00:10:02.47 And so like you said, I just ripped things 00:10:02.50\00:10:04.48 up and I just broke things. 00:10:04.51\00:10:05.83 And that make you fit in less. 00:10:05.86\00:10:07.33 And then they send you to a psychiatrist, and tell you 00:10:07.36\00:10:10.87 well have a good week, keep your chin up, come back. 00:10:10.90\00:10:13.71 I felt like they did really care about me. 00:10:13.74\00:10:15.68 I mean, you go in there and sit down for an hour, 00:10:15.71\00:10:17.16 well, what are you thinking. 00:10:17.19\00:10:18.25 Well you're afraid to tell them what you are thinking 00:10:18.28\00:10:19.26 because then they want to lock you up or tell you that 00:10:19.29\00:10:21.37 you're really messed up. 00:10:21.40\00:10:22.84 And just as an example because I was a student one time 00:10:22.87\00:10:28.48 going into the mental health field. 00:10:28.51\00:10:30.30 So I was a student and they sent somebody like you and 00:10:30.33\00:10:32.87 fourteen years old. 00:10:32.90\00:10:34.03 I said to him, as a student I don't know anything, what 00:10:34.06\00:10:36.95 are you thinking, and he said, do you know I just want 00:10:36.98\00:10:38.75 to take a sledgehammer and bash somebody's face in. 00:10:38.78\00:10:41.71 And I'm like this student and I'm thinking, okay. 00:10:41.74\00:10:44.32 So it is like being able to say, that's what I feel, 00:10:44.35\00:10:47.68 but I know if I tell you that you're going to slam me 00:10:47.71\00:10:50.51 with the authorities and lock me up. 00:10:50.54\00:10:52.21 But how do you said to someone because I feel 00:10:52.24\00:10:55.42 inadequate, out of control. 00:10:55.45\00:10:56.54 Because when you say that I feel like I want to kill somebody, 00:10:56.57\00:10:58.29 not that I am going to, but that is what I feel like. 00:10:58.32\00:11:00.23 So what you do is you go back in your quiet and cut 00:11:00.26\00:11:03.26 yourself some more. 00:11:03.29\00:11:04.26 I remember as a young boy, I told my mom that I'm just 00:11:04.29\00:11:07.18 going to run away. 00:11:07.21\00:11:08.43 And she said, well I will help you pack your bags. 00:11:08.46\00:11:09.91 And I packed my suitcase and I got down to flights of stairs 00:11:09.94\00:11:13.57 and I thought, where am I going to run to. 00:11:13.60\00:11:15.51 So I had this in my life, work came from, I don't know. 00:11:15.54\00:11:19.15 As a little child, I just wanted to run away. 00:11:19.18\00:11:21.85 So that laid out something in my life, 00:11:21.88\00:11:24.92 I never wanted to be responsible. 00:11:24.95\00:11:26.17 Responsibility for me has been hard, along with 00:11:26.20\00:11:28.96 many of my friends and partners, drug addictions, 00:11:28.99\00:11:31.07 and alcoholism. 00:11:31.10\00:11:32.07 We don't know how to be responsible. 00:11:32.09\00:11:33.45 Once we get started down that road, responsibility seems 00:11:33.48\00:11:35.64 like something we do not know how to deal with. 00:11:35.67\00:11:37.43 However, just because I feel I understand you just 00:11:37.46\00:11:42.40 because of my own childhood. 00:11:42.43\00:11:43.50 The first time I did drugs were I really got high, 00:11:43.53\00:11:47.52 I didn't have any of that stress. 00:11:47.55\00:11:49.42 Do you have that sense, response? 00:11:49.45\00:11:51.00 Yeah, I was free. 00:11:51.03\00:11:52.06 Finally, for the first time, I found something that works. 00:11:52.09\00:11:54.67 Where I fit in, is I didn't fit in the school, 00:11:54.70\00:11:57.66 I didn't fit in society, I fit in when I began 00:11:57.69\00:12:01.59 to meet people with drugs. 00:12:01.62\00:12:03.47 I had the money they had the drugs, I began to sell 00:12:03.50\00:12:07.87 drugs for people so I finally fit in. 00:12:07.90\00:12:10.59 People will call me and I would go to see them, 00:12:10.62\00:12:13.99 So I felt like a little businessman. 00:12:14.02\00:12:16.03 I felt like hey, I can make this work. 00:12:16.06\00:12:17.88 So then, one day my mother was in the grocery 00:12:17.91\00:12:21.87 store, and she always had to put back the 00:12:21.90\00:12:24.70 groceries she couldn't really afford. 00:12:24.73\00:12:26.50 Like the extra things, I mean to get the bread and 00:12:26.53\00:12:28.42 the things that she needed, the necessities and if there was 00:12:28.45\00:12:30.84 enough money left she'd buy these few things. 00:12:30.87\00:12:32.83 And one day I was able to get my mother some money, 00:12:32.86\00:12:35.14 I said here mom, buy it all. 00:12:35.17\00:12:37.58 And she said where did you to get the money son? 00:12:37.61\00:12:39.40 I said mom, I worked for it. 00:12:39.43\00:12:41.19 And at that young age in my life, I thought that if I 00:12:41.22\00:12:44.08 could have enough money, money would take care of the problems 00:12:44.11\00:12:47.10 for the car, the house. 00:12:47.13\00:12:48.61 Money would fix the life's problems. 00:12:48.64\00:12:50.59 And you know what by the time I was eighteen years old. 00:12:50.62\00:12:53.27 I had thousands of dollars. 00:12:53.30\00:12:54.90 At my dad was right, he said son, if you don't 00:12:54.93\00:12:57.96 straighten up, you're going to be in prison by the time 00:12:57.99\00:13:00.28 you are eighteen years old. 00:13:00.31\00:13:01.51 And I had to cry, eighteen years old I had to cry and look 00:13:01.54\00:13:05.05 through that little window, and my dad was 00:13:05.08\00:13:06.98 sitting on other side. 00:13:07.01\00:13:07.98 I said Daddy, you're right, and I said I'm sorry. 00:13:07.99\00:13:11.15 So through all that our lives are so messed up an 00:13:11.18\00:13:14.84 unmanageable, as children, the psychiatrist in my 00:13:14.87\00:13:19.01 life did not have the answers. 00:13:19.04\00:13:20.31 In a medication that they gave me that said I 00:13:20.34\00:13:22.89 would have be on the rest of my life, that didn't 00:13:22.92\00:13:24.59 do the trick either. 00:13:24.63\00:13:25.60 So here I go off to prison as a young man unmanageable. 00:13:25.63\00:13:28.93 And I can't even imagine you sitting in prison now, 00:13:28.96\00:13:33.16 say now what, I mean, now, what? 00:13:33.19\00:13:35.56 What was prison life like and what was your crime. 00:13:35.59\00:13:39.13 Burglary, drugs, and arson. 00:13:39.16\00:13:42.38 And how long did you stay in? 00:13:42.41\00:13:45.58 I spent a year in the county jail and three years 00:13:45.61\00:13:47.64 in am maximum security prison. 00:13:47.67\00:13:49.11 What was that like, because that was a whole different 00:13:49.14\00:13:51.10 world, I whole different culture. 00:13:51.13\00:13:52.28 First of all, I would tell you I gave my lawyer 00:13:52.31\00:13:55.33 thousands of dollars. 00:13:55.36\00:13:56.67 He promised me he would get me to work camp, 00:13:56.70\00:13:58.44 I gave him thousands of dollars. 00:13:58.47\00:14:00.31 Here are I was let down again. 00:14:00.34\00:14:01.73 There went my money and they put me 00:14:01.76\00:14:03.57 in a maximum - security prison. 00:14:03.60\00:14:05.10 So when you walk into prison, you've got a little gold, 00:14:05.13\00:14:07.38 nice watch, and all the stuff from the world. 00:14:07.41\00:14:09.87 And all of a sudden all these people say gimme that, let 00:14:09.90\00:14:12.60 me buy that, than say man, you better get you a shank. 00:14:12.63\00:14:15.17 And I'm like man, you know, I found myself handcuffed. 00:14:15.20\00:14:19.72 For somebody that doesn't know what a shank is. 00:14:19.75\00:14:21.18 A shank is a weapon, homemade weapon to stab somebody 00:14:21.21\00:14:24.78 to defend yourself. 00:14:24.81\00:14:25.94 At that moment I was scared to death, because if 00:14:25.97\00:14:29.20 they are telling me I need this, I was scared to 00:14:29.23\00:14:31.81 go to bed tonight. 00:14:31.84\00:14:32.89 And in this world, you need to defend yourself. 00:14:32.92\00:14:36.43 You need to be able to do if something comes down. 00:14:36.46\00:14:39.36 You need to step up to the plate. 00:14:39.39\00:14:41.63 I found myself shackled and handcuffed to some guy I 00:14:41.66\00:14:45.28 didn't even know doing life in prison. 00:14:45.31\00:14:47.64 So we get off this bus at the back gate, the Indiana 00:14:47.67\00:14:50.48 reformatory, with a thirty foot wall and a gun tower. 00:14:50.51\00:14:53.61 I was just like unbelievable here we are. 00:14:53.64\00:14:56.27 Here you're eighteen, he's older doing life, 00:14:56.30\00:14:58.49 he has nothing to lose. 00:14:58.52\00:14:59.96 Nothing to lose - you better not say anything wrong. 00:14:59.99\00:15:02.23 I get into the prison there and I talked to my counselor 00:15:02.26\00:15:08.63 and got me a cell house and I didn't run with nobody. 00:15:08.66\00:15:12.85 I mean, I loved everybody, I mean, you're my friend. 00:15:12.88\00:15:15.57 It's like I say they've got lots of 00:15:15.60\00:15:17.84 little groups and clicks. 00:15:17.87\00:15:19.01 If I set on the black side of the chow hall or the white side. 00:15:19.04\00:15:22.20 It didn't matter to me, because we're all here together, 00:15:22.23\00:15:25.69 It was like college campus, yes, there was terrible 00:15:25.72\00:15:29.41 things that went on. 00:15:29.44\00:15:30.41 I was going to say you'd never been to college. 00:15:30.42\00:15:32.07 Because I'm thinking, I don't know if 00:15:32.10\00:15:34.32 it was like college campus. 00:15:34.35\00:15:36.08 I've never been to college, I should have 00:15:36.11\00:15:37.58 been graduated from college. 00:15:37.61\00:15:38.66 But in prison - it's a whole different kind of college. 00:15:38.69\00:15:41.69 There were people who lost their lives 00:15:41.72\00:15:43.35 during my incarceration. 00:15:43.38\00:15:44.89 There were people that got sexually abused. 00:15:44.92\00:15:46.71 There's lots of terrible issues that go on in prison, 00:15:46.74\00:15:49.59 but if you conduct yourself in a way, by God's grace, 00:15:49.62\00:15:55.80 prison, went well for me until the last year I was there. 00:15:55.83\00:16:01.60 Why what happened in the last year. 00:16:01.63\00:16:04.07 My brother got out, my brother and I went there on the 00:16:04.10\00:16:06.10 same charge, so we were in the same prison. 00:16:06.13\00:16:07.56 My brother got out before I did and I had this group of 00:16:07.59\00:16:10.44 inmates come up to me and they said, you need to either 00:16:10.47\00:16:13.74 start paying us, giving us sex, or get a man. 00:16:13.77\00:16:17.08 You get a man that you get hooked up with somebody who 00:16:17.11\00:16:19.54 looks out for you or whatever. 00:16:19.57\00:16:20.54 I was sick, I had stayed my cell that day for lunch. 00:16:20.55\00:16:23.66 Can I just say, because the people when I was homeless 00:16:23.69\00:16:28.04 for ten years, people I loved one in and out of prison. 00:16:28.07\00:16:30.70 When they went in they would come out so twisted that it 00:16:30.73\00:16:34.45 was almost like we had to help them heal from all the 00:16:34.48\00:16:38.24 damage that happened to them behind the bars. 00:16:38.27\00:16:40.00 It was that culture there was nothing, you didn't decide 00:16:40.03\00:16:43.35 whether you wanted to step into that or not. 00:16:43.38\00:16:45.37 You're in this, you are going to survive it 00:16:45.40\00:16:47.28 the best you can. 00:16:47.31\00:16:48.42 I was surprised at how wounded some of my friends were 00:16:48.45\00:16:52.47 when they came out. 00:16:52.50\00:16:53.47 It's crazy in prison. 00:16:53.48\00:16:54.91 You see two men rolling around on the playground, 00:16:54.94\00:16:57.48 I mean rolling and kissing and hugging. 00:16:57.51\00:16:59.57 Then you see people threatening people, and running 00:16:59.60\00:17:01.87 stores, extortion, yes they have drugs in prison, yes, 00:17:01.90\00:17:05.30 they make alcohol in prison. 00:17:05.33\00:17:06.66 So, those things are very, very real. 00:17:06.69\00:17:10.24 And we have a choice in or out of prison, 00:17:10.27\00:17:12.23 how we are going to live. 00:17:12.26\00:17:13.48 And I chose the wrong way when I was out here in society. 00:17:13.51\00:17:15.70 When I was in prison, yes, I sold drugs, 00:17:15.73\00:17:17.65 And yes I didn't do the right things. 00:17:17.68\00:17:19.01 My brother got out of prison a year before I did. 00:17:19.04\00:17:21.99 These guys come up and threatened me, told me I either 00:17:22.02\00:17:24.37 needed to get a man, start paying him or give him sex. 00:17:24.40\00:17:26.59 I said look, man, I've been here too long for that. 00:17:26.62\00:17:29.40 I said you need to take that stuff somewhere else. 00:17:29.43\00:17:31.32 And that evening they came back to me, I was outside of 00:17:31.35\00:17:33.98 my cell at this time, they came back to me and they told 00:17:34.01\00:17:36.60 me, do you remember what we were talking about? 00:17:36.63\00:17:38.03 I said yes I do, they said what are you going to do about it? 00:17:38.06\00:17:41.86 I turned and looked out the window and said not a thing. 00:17:41.89\00:17:44.72 And it beat me up so bad, I was three stories up and 00:17:44.75\00:17:49.14 they beat me so bad. 00:17:49.18\00:17:50.25 I went to the chow hall to see my friend, my friend is 00:17:50.28\00:17:55.25 from Gary's and he's been there for twenty some years, 00:17:55.28\00:17:57.60 been locked up many, many years. 00:17:57.63\00:17:58.71 He had stood up for me a few months before that. 00:17:58.74\00:18:01.47 I was all my work and he said, Vega. What's wrong? 00:18:01.50\00:18:05.05 I said why do you ask me what's wrong? 00:18:05.08\00:18:07.20 Because in prison, you don't tell people your problems, 00:18:07.23\00:18:09.41 because then they want to dig into your life and make 00:18:09.44\00:18:13.04 use of your problems. 00:18:13.07\00:18:14.24 So I said, why do you ask me what is wrong? 00:18:14.27\00:18:16.12 He said, because I don't see your smile, no more. 00:18:16.15\00:18:18.27 I said really, well, these dudes over there in H cell 00:18:18.30\00:18:22.04 are talking about taking my watch. 00:18:22.07\00:18:23.69 And he sent word over there, you all leave Vega alone. 00:18:23.72\00:18:26.16 Vega don't bother nobody, you all leave Vega alone, 00:18:26.19\00:18:28.16 so it got quiet, for a few months. 00:18:28.19\00:18:30.75 This thing came down so I got beat up in 00:18:30.78\00:18:33.04 a bad way in prison. 00:18:33.07\00:18:35.53 But something happen in prison Cheri, and that was I was 00:18:35.56\00:18:40.12 smart enough, I would read my Bible. 00:18:40.15\00:18:41.51 I had a wonderful lady that would write to me, she would 00:18:41.54\00:18:44.52 write to me every day and I would get this letter every 00:18:44.55\00:18:46.74 day that said, smile God loves you keep your chin up. 00:18:46.77\00:18:49.83 And that was an encouragement to me that somebody would 00:18:49.86\00:18:52.22 care about me, not for drugs, not for money, I'm in 00:18:52.25\00:18:55.54 prison, I haven't got anything left in my life anymore. 00:18:55.57\00:18:57.96 So, that was a daily encouragement to me. 00:18:57.99\00:19:00.88 It was a lifeline - a lifeline. 00:19:00.91\00:19:02.66 I would run, any time I got in the rec yard I'd run 00:19:02.69\00:19:06.80 three or four miles a day. 00:19:06.83\00:19:08.45 I would just run and think out side of that wall. 00:19:08.48\00:19:10.74 That's what kept me thinking in a positive way. 00:19:10.77\00:19:15.37 I never hoped to get out of prison, because I hoped for 00:19:15.40\00:19:19.14 probation, my bond reduction. 00:19:19.17\00:19:20.53 My hopes were always dashed, so I didn't 00:19:20.56\00:19:22.55 hope to get out of prison. 00:19:22.58\00:19:23.79 I figured if I would stab somebody or get stabbed, 00:19:23.82\00:19:26.25 I didn't know I was afraid to hope again. 00:19:26.28\00:19:28.68 But I thought I'm getting out of prison in about a year. 00:19:28.71\00:19:32.39 Can I just stay with that for a minute? 00:19:32.42\00:19:34.75 Because one of the things that I see a lot of people 00:19:34.78\00:19:37.60 including myself have to heal from, 00:19:37.63\00:19:39.44 is that you do stop hoping. 00:19:39.47\00:19:41.65 It's like when somebody says do you have 00:19:41.68\00:19:43.31 any dreams or anything. 00:19:43.34\00:19:44.41 It's like, what are you talking about. 00:19:44.44\00:19:46.15 It is as if you have a dream, somebody can take it so 00:19:46.18\00:19:48.44 you literally force yourself never to think that 00:19:48.47\00:19:52.52 you are going to get something. 00:19:52.55\00:19:53.91 Or that you going to be something. 00:19:53.94\00:19:55.45 or you're going to be able to arrive at something. 00:19:55.48\00:19:58.26 And the better you can do that, 00:19:58.29\00:20:00.82 the easier your life becomes. 00:20:00.85\00:20:03.07 Right you are protected by not sharing your dreams. 00:20:03.10\00:20:05.29 You just keep them to yourself. 00:20:05.32\00:20:07.27 You know to be when you even said that just then, I 00:20:07.30\00:20:10.30 remember the sadness of having most my life ever daring 00:20:10.33\00:20:14.76 to hope for something. 00:20:14.79\00:20:15.78 I wanted to say to you, Lem, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. 00:20:15.81\00:20:19.95 It really is a horrible place to be, to know that I 00:20:19.98\00:20:23.83 don't dare ever dream anymore. 00:20:23.86\00:20:25.15 Because I don't want to hurt anymore. 00:20:25.18\00:20:27.44 It was about a year before a got out of prison, that I 00:20:27.47\00:20:31.50 said if I don't quit using drugs in here, I am not going 00:20:31.53\00:20:34.83 to quit the day I walk out that front door. 00:20:34.86\00:20:36.78 And I wanted to quit, I mean, I wanted to be a 00:20:36.81\00:20:40.60 productive member of society. 00:20:40.63\00:20:41.76 I wanted to be different than when I came in that back gate. 00:20:41.79\00:20:44.34 So I quit using drugs, but I continue to sell drugs. 00:20:44.37\00:20:47.69 The day that they finally released me - 00:20:47.72\00:20:50.26 I'm sorry I'm like what. 00:20:50.29\00:20:51.80 So still, you're doing business, this is what I do. 00:20:51.83\00:20:55.65 Make money for the commissary will I did it today. 00:20:55.68\00:20:59.47 I am not going to use it no more, I'm getting out here 00:20:59.50\00:21:01.50 about a year, I don't want to use them no more, but I 00:21:01.53\00:21:03.37 continue to sell them in the prison. 00:21:03.40\00:21:04.86 And the day they let me out, I mean my pass was coming 00:21:04.89\00:21:08.70 the next day to where I was going to be released, 00:21:08.73\00:21:10.42 and I still didn't even really hope it. 00:21:10.45\00:21:13.98 I gave all my stuff away and my partner 00:21:14.01\00:21:17.53 walked me up to the gate. 00:21:17.56\00:21:18.56 And they opened the first gate, and then the 00:21:18.59\00:21:21.71 second gate and then the third gate and the fourth gate 00:21:21.74\00:21:25.41 and Donna, which is now my wife, was sitting 00:21:25.44\00:21:28.96 there in the waiting room. 00:21:28.99\00:21:29.96 And I went Cheri, and I sit in that waiting room for 00:21:29.99\00:21:32.51 two or three hours. 00:21:32.54\00:21:34.76 I didn't even leave the prison because I was scared to 00:21:34.79\00:21:36.80 leave the prison. 00:21:36.83\00:21:38.08 Because if I step out, they are going to come 00:21:38.11\00:21:39.28 up with another crime. 00:21:39.31\00:21:40.45 I just didn't know, I mean, I was scared to go back out 00:21:40.48\00:21:42.90 to society because you come in at eighteen all messed 00:21:42.93\00:21:45.30 up, and how is it going to be now? 00:21:45.33\00:21:47.23 I remember going to the mall for the first time. 00:21:47.26\00:21:51.52 I walked down through the mall and I heard all this 00:21:51.55\00:21:53.30 beep, beep, beep, beep. 00:21:53.33\00:21:54.55 When I went to prison pinball machines was a big thing. 00:21:54.58\00:21:56.54 When I came out, there was no more pinball machines, it 00:21:56.57\00:21:58.45 was all this new computer stuff. 00:21:58.48\00:22:00.03 First thing I went to buy was shirt or something and they 00:22:00.06\00:22:03.29 went to scanned it. 00:22:03.32\00:22:04.29 I can't imagine the people let's been locked 00:22:04.30\00:22:06.12 up for years and years and years and years. 00:22:06.15\00:22:07.81 Cause things were different and you'd only been 4 years or so. 00:22:07.84\00:22:10.29 So through all that stuff, I grew up, I wanted what was 00:22:10.32\00:22:16.76 right when I got out of prison. 00:22:16.79\00:22:18.07 I tried to do the right thing. 00:22:18.10\00:22:21.05 I began to go to church, we got married about a year, 00:22:21.08\00:22:26.25 about months after I got out we got married. 00:22:26.28\00:22:29.02 You know my brain is stuck right now, because I'll just 00:22:29.05\00:22:35.24 tell you why it is stuck. 00:22:35.27\00:22:36.24 When somebody said to me when I was strung out on 00:22:36.25\00:22:38.72 heroine, just stop using it your life will be different. 00:22:38.75\00:22:41.20 I stopped using it and my life was not different. 00:22:41.23\00:22:43.46 I had all this junk still. 00:22:43.49\00:22:44.77 So how did you go from stepping out of the prison 00:22:44.80\00:22:47.91 to going to church. 00:22:47.94\00:22:49.05 Did you have a fallout from your character stuff 00:22:49.08\00:22:51.88 or your junk I mean. 00:22:51.91\00:22:54.27 No, I started going to church. 00:22:54.30\00:22:56.77 I wanted what was right, and I wanted this 00:22:56.80\00:22:58.60 junk to be cleaned up. 00:22:58.63\00:22:59.76 And I went to church and tried to do what was right. 00:22:59.79\00:23:02.10 But in my life I was it was still burden down. 00:23:02.13\00:23:05.81 It's still burden down and then you start taking nerve pills. 00:23:05.84\00:23:10.20 The doctor says you're getting married you need some 00:23:10.23\00:23:12.61 nerve pills or whatever, start again. 00:23:12.64\00:23:15.36 So, that just started an addiction all over again even 00:23:15.39\00:23:16.88 though it's not cocaine and heroin or alcohol. 00:23:16.91\00:23:18.10 And it feels legal because the doctor gave it to me. 00:23:18.13\00:23:20.60 You don't want to leave home without a little bottle of 00:23:20.63\00:23:22.21 pills because it is legal. 00:23:22.24\00:23:23.34 So then I began to take drugs back to the prison, to the 00:23:23.37\00:23:29.39 police to give to my partner sell in the prison. 00:23:29.42\00:23:31.72 Then the drug addiction just all started, 00:23:31.75\00:23:35.83 it just slammed down on me. 00:23:35.86\00:23:37.53 Can I ask you, you know, I'm not going to ask you this 00:23:37.56\00:23:40.79 next question until we come back from break. 00:23:40.82\00:23:42.55 And just to set you up for this is that I want to know 00:23:42.58\00:23:46.62 you and Donna get married, and how does she take all 00:23:46.65\00:23:51.51 this in, and how was that changed for her? 00:23:51.54\00:23:53.99 Especially when you said I went right back bringing 00:23:54.02\00:23:56.28 drugs to the prison. 00:23:56.31\00:23:57.31 So, we are going to go ahead and take a break, 00:23:57.34\00:23:58.70 but I want you to stay with us, 00:23:58.73\00:24:00.14 because it is absolutely amazing. 00:24:00.17\00:24:02.73 The next few steps of Lem's life is absolutely amazing. 00:24:02.76\00:24:06.06 Who he is right now is a man of God, it's cool, 00:24:06.09\00:24:10.03 it really is cool. 00:24:10.06\00:24:11.23 He is solid, and I am not saying perfect, 00:24:11.26\00:24:14.44 but solid in his recovery. 00:24:14.47\00:24:16.66 So we will be right back. 00:24:16.69\00:24:17.66 Stay with us you are going to be blessed! 00:24:17.67\00:24:21.01