You have probably
thought of a lot of things
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during this show, I know I have.
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And during the
first part of my recovery,
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it was amazing to
me, because when somebody
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said to me stop heroine you
will be fine, I wasn't fine.
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There was a lot of stuff
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What was interesting
with everything that God did,
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the first part of my recovery,
every single thing that
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came up on the table.
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I'm trying to learn how
to socialize, how to do this,
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and I don't know how to trust,
I don't know how to not lie,
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I manipulate all time.
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It seem like a lot
of things to deal with.
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And I dealt with
that one thing at a time,
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Recover today, just
anything that comes up,
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if you have
something that comes up,
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deal with that one thing.
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Really get a grip on
that, and the Bible says
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something that I
thought was amazing
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I literally thought was amazing.
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It says don't back
away from things too soon.
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If you get hit with something,
if you feel like why do
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I always get kind
of stuck right here.
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God says don't back away from it
don't be afraid of that because
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I'm going actually
do a work in your area
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in your life at that thing,
and as we work through that
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It's going to
develop in you patience.
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The ability to not
be triggered so much.
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You know every time I
felt put down by a group,
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every single time if I
felt and I'm a homeless kid
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I'm strung out, my
parents are addicts, my dad just
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just died in
December of his addictions.
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80 pounds 6 feet 1.
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I mean I don't have
anything to pull from.
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So when I would feel
insecure in front of somebody,
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I would literally go
all way back to childhood
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and being abused again.
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God says I don't
intend for you to have that
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your whole life.
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I want you to not
have to trigger back.
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I want you to be able
to stand as a woman of God,
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full of joy,
and the Holy Spirit.
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I want to pour into your life.
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But if every time somebody
hurts your feelings, you trigger
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back to a kid being abused,
we're going to stay working
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on that your whole life.
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And so every single thing,
as it comes up, as you just
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start to look at something
small like, Nyse was saying,
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you know some of
your weight stuff.
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That I'm not exercising.
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Know I have some anger issues.
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Now, I hit my kid, or
whatever it is, I don't care,
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not that it don't care what it
is, It doesn't matter what it is
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Start with that one small
thing, and God will do the next
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small thing, and
the next small thing,
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Pretty soon, you're
not triggering back as far.
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It's amazing to me that I
thought I was doing incredible.
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I really thought I was doing
incredible, 20 years into my
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recovery, 20 years and
now God now can I show you
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what the issue is?
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and I'm like shut up!
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It wasn't the issue nona
nona nona nona and it got
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to the core issue for me.
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Was I was never loved or
learned how to trust or any of
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that kind of stuff.
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God said really the core
issue, all this behavioral stuff
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Is that you don't know
how to love and I AM love.
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The Bible says God is love.
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I so know how to do that
and I will take you to a place
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that you don't even know
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And right now, because we
don't know how to get there
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right away is to just
start with the small things.
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Let's start with
whatever comes up.
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If you're late deal
with their late issues,
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If you lie, if you
exaggerate, deal with that.
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If you are gambling, online
porn, strung out on drugs, what
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ever deal with
what ever is there.
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But God will take you to a
place slowly, after taking one
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layer off, another layer,
to the point where you get the
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core issues and then
when you're done that.
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You're done, you can stand
in the presence of a holy God
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laughing out loud.
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Glad to be in your own skin,
and that is the coolest part
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of who God is and what
He wants for our recovery.
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It is the absolute, that is
what He says victory in Christ
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and to know the truth and
the truth will set you free.
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The truth is not
your victimization.
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The truth is that God loves
you and He wants to heal you and
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wants to hang out with you.
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How cool is that!
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See you next time on
Celebrating Life In Recovery
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