Welcome back in
our last segment,
00:00:13.90\00:00:15.93
we were talking
about Sean Bridges.
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His life growing up and this was
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an incredible kid
this was a little boy
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I saw video
films of him and we're
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going to show
roll-ins of some of that.
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But I saw video
films of this kid running
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around, and looking
as happy as anything.
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And as he got into his
addictions, as he got lost
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more and more into
that, alcohol, and smoking
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and Meth, and
literally started having heart
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attacks and huge
medical issues when he was
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like in his twenties.
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You know you met his
grandmother, and you know,
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I fell in love with
her almost immediately.
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It just the heart
of this woman saying
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I couldn't do anything.
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And when she said that,
that she just prayed for
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him I thought, Oh
your did everything.
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So it's your fault
that he came back to God
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So talking about when we left,
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you were talking
about when he came
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to your church and heard
the idea of grace for the
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first time, did you
see a change in him when
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he got that in his heart?
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I saw a sparkle in his eye.
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Because you were
saying he looked dead.
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Absolutely, absolutely I
could see a sparkle of hope.
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You know, isn't it a
shame for anyone to wake-up
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without hope.
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I could see hope,
in my mind anyway,
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hope reflected in his eyes.
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I tried to explain to him.
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God sent Christ, not
to condemn the world,
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but through him that
the world might be saved.
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None of us can be good
enough, but we can sure
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to be graced enough.
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And what's really
interesting than what you just
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said is for an addict, for
somebody in recovery, somebody
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that doesn't know
God, cause I felt this way
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is I'm thinking of
God even looks at me.
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He's going to be so
disgusted, and He's going to so
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want to somehow throw
some bolts of lightning at me.
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And what you just quoted
was Scripture in John that God
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didn't sent
Christ to condemn us.
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He said Him, so we could
get a true picture of God,
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the fact that He so
wants to save us, He so
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wants to bring us to
recovery, He so wants to
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wake-up that joy.
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Absolutely, and Sean, I remember
him asking me the question,
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He said if I accept Jesus
Christ tonight, because I told
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we needed to have prayer.
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He said if I
accept Jesus tonight.
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I'm still a drug addict.
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So therefore, if I accept
Jesus tonight and I leave out
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tomorrow and take a hit
on Meth, then I'm not saved.
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I said, who told you that trash?
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I'm here to tell you that
God can save you here and now.
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And yes, He can clean
you up, but He has you
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here for a purpose.
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You know Pastor, I
want to tell you something,
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and after that I
want you pray for us.
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I just got out of recovery
doing the heroine stuff.
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All that kind of stuff in
1979, so it's been awhile.
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I remember sitting in the
church, and I sat there and
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thought, You know
what, I'm just not as good
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as all these folks.
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Am I fooling myself that
think that God can save me
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and I'm like a 100
pounds, and I'm strung out.
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Just ridiculously,
pitiful, and God gives me this
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literally a
vision of what happened.
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Some that happened to me
years ago, and I've said this
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before on the show, but
I want to just repeat it is
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that He gives me a vision
that was a drug house waiting
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for a shipment of
heroine and I was just
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I hadn't had a fix that day,
so I was not in a good place,
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and I was, you
know, a little irritable.
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So the drugs came in,
and I just slammed as much as
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somebody gave me
and it was too much.
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And I immediately went out, I
immediately actually passed out.
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I start seizing, I stopped
breathing, and he gives me
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the vision of actually
what happened, when it really
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happened in my life I was out.
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I don't remember anything.
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I came out of it and got high
again, but you know what I mean
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What He said is I want
you to see what happened with
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all the other addicts
that were there with me.
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My friends tried to do CPR,
well they don't know how to CPR
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so they are trying to pump on
my chest, and all that kind of
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stuff, they
literally, I'm throwing up,
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because all this
stuff and they're
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removing throw-up from
my mouth, trying to give
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mouth-to-mouth, some
are saying I'm not doing it.
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But most of them
were trying to intervene.
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I had a seizure, lost
bowel and bladder control.
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So they put me in the
shower I came out of that like
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vision or whatever God
does when He gives you that,
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and I started crying,
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and thinking I
did feel good enough.
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When I started this prayer
I didn't feel good enough and
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You show me that? Do
you think that helped me?
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And I was literally kind
of angry at God, and He said,
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I want you to know that I loved
you as much when you laying
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in your own
feces, as I do right now.
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So do not make this a behavioral
thing, I am your Father,
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and I love you, and that's
what you were teaching Sean.
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Because God loves you,
you're going to a stumble
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around, maybe for awhile.
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But He's faithful to complete
in you, what you started
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tonight by you accepting Christ.
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That's exactly right.
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That's the only way any
of us are to make it through.
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None of us can be good enough.
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and if we get that,
grace becomes more precious.
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Grace abounds,
and it is so amazing,
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when we start talking purpose,
Sean said, well I really feel
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like God put me here for
a purpose, and I said Amen!
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I feel He did too, He
puts us all here for a purpose,
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and that's when Sean
ended back up in the hospital.
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He calls me one day on my
cell phone, and he says Bud,
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I've got a great idea,
and I said was that Sean.
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He said, I found
out what my purpose is.
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Now that I got a new
heart this so heart is no longer
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needed anyway so I've
got a new heart in God
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But my purpose is, I
want you to tape me dying,
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so that I may be
able to help someone
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the same
mistakes that I've made.
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And God put this person
in my life two years prior to
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this that did documentary work.
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His name was Chip Rosa.
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Isn't that funny, God
says, I'll set it up before
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you call me absolutely so
I called Chip, Chip agreed to
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come to the hospital in
between a couple days of
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Sean calling me in the hospital.
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Jack, his dad called me
and said Sean is in ICU.
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He cannot
speak, he had a stroke.
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We're afraid
we're going to lose him.
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So immediately I said I'm
going to come to the hospital,
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So I went to the hospital,
and I remember to this day,
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Jack was standing
there beside the bed,
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and Sean was on a
ventilator, not opening his eyes
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not saying a word and it
frustrated me a little bit,
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that we finally, GOD finally
got it worked out, to bring
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documentary and he can't
speak, he wasn't even awake.
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So I leaned down to him, and
I spoke real loud into his ear.
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I said Sean, you better
not die on me, because God has
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found us somebody to do the
documentary that you want done.
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So now, I'm
going to stop you now.
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I'm going to switchover,
we're going to talk to Jim.
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Well first of all, yeah
we're going to talk to Jim.
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And he's using the
documentary at his place.
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But I'm going to then
come up and we're going to just
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talk to everybody again and Jack
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we're going to close with you.
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Can we have a word of prayer?
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Oh Yeah, yeah, I forgot.
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Heavenly Father, Lord,
Lord, I just ask heavenly Father
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that You just let your beautiful
gift of grace just filter
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through out this
world, Heavenly Father,
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Lord you touch those, Heavenly
Father, that are struggling,
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God is not about being
good enough heavenly Father,
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it's about being
graced enough Lord.
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We just pray heavenly Father
that you'll let Your love reign
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Just supreme heavenly Father,
and touch lives here today
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heavenly Father, and Lord let
each and every one of us know
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that it's never too late
to except you heavenly Father,
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as a gracious
Savior that you are.
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We just continue
thanking you for the blessings,
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in Jesus name we pray, Amen.
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One thing, as Mr. Jim comes up.
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I'm going to just say that
Sean wanted this video done, he
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wanted it done so that it
could touch the lives of other
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addicts, especially kids,
and I have talked to Jack and
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Jack is going to say this
again at the end of the show.
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He in his heart said
that somebody has to know
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DON'T DO DRUGS!
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Don't trash
yourself, don't run from God,
00:08:12.96\00:08:16.14
those kind of things.
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And so go ahead and come up Jim.
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So the video was done.
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It's amazing.
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I 'vet seen it myself and we're
going to show some roll-ins as
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we talk but I want to
make sure you know everybody
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and you start seeing what
happens as Sean died they put
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this video together
and how did you see it.
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The video was striking.
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It was powerful.
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Your clinical director at
a family counseling center in
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Cape Girardeau, Missouri
working with addicts all the
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time we're throughout
Southeast Missouri or family
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counseling center, we have two
women's co-occurring programs,
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two men's and two adolescent,
residential centers and
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two psychiatric centers.
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See, I could fit in
any of those centers.
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Oh sorry.
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So if I ever just because I'm
such an opportunist, if I ever
00:09:03.50\00:09:07.72
need help, I
could just call you.
00:09:07.76\00:09:08.74
There you go.
00:09:08.78\00:09:09.83
I'm on it.
00:09:09.87\00:09:10.86
We are a strength-based
spiritual program,
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and hire
brilliant talented staff.
00:09:12.73\00:09:16.37
They use loving compassion
to engage a client in treatment
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So, you saw Sean
dying on this tape and
00:09:19.81\00:09:23.80
felt it would be helpful.
00:09:23.83\00:09:25.78
Sean is actually been
to the center three times,
00:09:25.81\00:09:28.48
Before his death.
00:09:28.52\00:09:30.82
And to share with the clients
there and even though Sean
00:09:30.85\00:09:36.59
could not communicate
well at that time, he could
00:09:36.62\00:09:40.98
communicate addiction
and pain with one another.
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He said that he can't
communicate because people
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don't realize a drug that he
chose to take burned holes in
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his brain, the acids literally
changed his ability to speak.
00:09:51.34\00:09:55.76
It does that to lots of people.
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Not just Sean always
mentioned in the treatment.
00:09:58.45\00:10:02.53
I say, where do
all those people go.
00:10:02.56\00:10:04.62
They just drop off for
me, what happened to them.
00:10:04.65\00:10:07.86
You're running around with
a bunch of people and all of a
00:10:07.89\00:10:10.11
sudden, where they go,
where that's where they go,
00:10:10.15\00:10:13.24
they get sick and die.
00:10:13.27\00:10:16.06
You have some things you
want to share with us from the
00:10:16.09\00:10:20.16
people at the facility.
00:10:20.19\00:10:21.82
Well, the clients
heard I was coming over here.
00:10:21.85\00:10:24.76
They just watched Sean's
video we still show that even
00:10:24.79\00:10:28.66
though he's passed now.
00:10:28.69\00:10:29.82
They said take
some things over there,
00:10:29.85\00:10:32.84
let, if you can
read them, read them
00:10:32.87\00:10:36.26
if you can't that's okay.
00:10:36.29\00:10:37.33
We want to share a
little bit about it.
00:10:37.36\00:10:39.05
As you are looking for
one to read I just want to
00:10:39.08\00:10:41.46
thank people for whatever
wrote these and sent them to us.
00:10:41.49\00:10:45.10
I want to thank you and
God bless you in your recovery.
00:10:45.13\00:10:47.34
It really showed me how
drugs can have a real affect
00:10:47.37\00:10:52.04
on your body.
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I was shocked about the adverse
effects of Meth, I wish I
00:10:53.08\00:10:59.40
would have seen this
before I started using Meth.
00:10:59.43\00:11:02.83
So you as a preventative thing?
00:11:02.86\00:11:04.96
A harsh example of a
man who took the drug and
00:11:04.99\00:11:08.65
the drug took him.
00:11:08.68\00:11:10.36
It had a positive impact
on me, this should be shown to
00:11:10.39\00:11:16.72
every school child.
00:11:16.75\00:11:18.62
So, you know I'm going to say.
00:11:18.65\00:11:20.88
I'm going to tell, you God bless
you in the work that you do
00:11:20.91\00:11:24.14
with helping the us in
our recovery and having the
00:11:24.17\00:11:26.93
facilities and know that
even in our obnoxious state,
00:11:26.96\00:11:31.35
where we come in where
lying and manipulating, you know
00:11:31.38\00:11:34.58
that what you do
for us is important and
00:11:34.61\00:11:36.25
it will plant a seed.
00:11:36.28\00:11:37.35
God bless you so I'm
going to bring up some of the
00:11:37.38\00:11:39.96
women that have been
through your program.
00:11:40.00\00:11:41.57
Alright, so we
are going to start.
00:11:41.60\00:11:43.31
I will have Jill come up.
00:11:43.34\00:11:45.01
And Jill when I met you,
the Holy Spirit just shines in
00:11:47.76\00:11:52.93
you, and I'm thinking
were you an addict, no way.
00:11:52.96\00:11:55.31
Yes, I my drug
addiction started when I was 11.
00:11:55.34\00:11:59.74
I started with marijuana.
00:11:59.77\00:12:01.79
I was very angry child.
00:12:01.82\00:12:03.42
I had already been
saved and baptized at 9,
00:12:03.45\00:12:06.67
and somebody told me that
Jesus saved and I walked that
00:12:06.70\00:12:09.33
that isle, but He wasn't saving
me in the way that I thought
00:12:09.36\00:12:12.38
I should be saved you know
that things don't go the way
00:12:12.41\00:12:15.05
we think always.
00:12:15.08\00:12:16.10
I did my first
line of Meth at 15.
00:12:16.13\00:12:19.81
So when you start
at 11 it was smoking,
00:12:19.84\00:12:22.71
drinking, some weed.
00:12:22.74\00:12:23.89
Yeah, Valium's at 13, Meth at 15
00:12:23.92\00:12:28.01
really wasn't that available.
00:12:28.04\00:12:29.76
substituted
Ritalin, Vas teen whatever
00:12:34.01\00:12:35.01
I could get my hands
on, I was a speed freak.
00:12:35.04\00:12:37.74
My drug addiction
escalated until I was 38.
00:12:37.77\00:12:43.83
By the time I was thirty eight.
00:12:43.86\00:12:46.83
So your body
really took some hits.
00:12:46.86\00:12:50.88
Yes, yes, I can remember,
lying in bed and a whole
00:12:50.91\00:12:55.05
bed shaking from
my heart beating.
00:12:55.08\00:12:56.62
Just shaking, shaking,
shaking, but not only did I
00:12:56.65\00:12:59.97
destroy my body, I
destroyed my family.
00:13:00.00\00:13:03.04
I lost my marriage during
that time, the day I came to
00:13:03.07\00:13:07.82
realization of my
insanity and where I was March
00:13:07.85\00:13:12.11
third two thousand
three at just one three
00:13:12.14\00:13:13.76
I just love that 3, 3, 3,
it just really blesses me.
00:13:13.80\00:13:16.23
For people that don't know,
it's because of the Trinity
00:13:16.26\00:13:19.63
My husband was leaving,
he was walking out the door,
00:13:19.66\00:13:26.58
but his mother, even
though we didn't get along
00:13:26.61\00:13:29.65
very well, had told me
if I ever wanted prayer
00:13:29.68\00:13:31.72
she would pray with me.
00:13:31.75\00:13:32.72
And that's only
thought that was in my mind at
00:13:32.73\00:13:35.16
that time, what she's
going to pray with me.
00:13:35.19\00:13:37.08
She lived about
three houses from me,
00:13:37.11\00:13:40.21
I took off at a dead run.
00:13:40.24\00:13:41.41
I opened her door.
00:13:41.44\00:13:43.91
You could tell in the
flesh that they didn't
00:13:43.94\00:13:47.21
want to help, I had hurt their
son, but then God kicked in.
00:13:47.24\00:13:50.31
Because they wanted
to tell you your mean,
00:13:50.34\00:13:55.04
You just trashed my son.
00:13:55.07\00:13:56.50
It was horrible I
trashed everything.
00:13:56.53\00:13:58.12
But instead they said
come in, and we'll pray.
00:13:58.15\00:14:00.52
We did, and I went down
on my knees in their kitchen.
00:14:00.55\00:14:02.56
That's Grace yes, yes.
00:14:02.59\00:14:05.39
Grace is only grace, mercy.
00:14:05.42\00:14:07.19
I know what down on my knees
in their kitchen and I was like
00:14:07.22\00:14:10.57
God I can't take it anymore.
00:14:10.60\00:14:13.30
If You'll just
take me out of this.
00:14:13.33\00:14:15.51
I'll serve you for
the rest of my life.
00:14:15.54\00:14:18.20
I will help whoever you
put across my path, that was my
00:14:18.24\00:14:22.31
prayer in the treatment center.
00:14:22.35\00:14:24.75
So there it you went from
there to a treatment center.
00:14:24.79\00:14:27.29
Yes, I had already been
looking for a treatment center
00:14:27.32\00:14:29.79
online and these are
like fifty thousand dollars.
00:14:29.83\00:14:33.03
I'm and addict, I
don't have any money.
00:14:33.06\00:14:35.35
I'm too busy spending on drugs.
00:14:35.39\00:14:36.69
I went home after I got
off my knees, and I called a
00:14:36.72\00:14:41.98
counseling center in
Sikeston, which is close to my
00:14:42.01\00:14:46.30
hometown, and they
referred me to family counseling
00:14:46.33\00:14:50.58
but in the conversation,
00:14:50.62\00:14:52.56
the man asked me, do you
feel like killing yourself.
00:14:52.60\00:14:55.78
I set back for a moment
and thought no for the first
00:14:55.82\00:14:59.40
time my life I feel like
living for the very first time.
00:14:59.43\00:15:02.98
Yes I know Amen, hallelujah.
00:15:03.01\00:15:05.06
Because most addicts, we
feel like dying every day
00:15:05.10\00:15:07.47
of our lives, who
wants to live like that.
00:15:07.51\00:15:09.56
You can't live
with the drug, and you
00:15:09.59\00:15:11.62
can't live without it.
00:15:11.66\00:15:12.76
I mean, I said they're
many of days with a gun
00:15:12.79\00:15:14.67
wanting just to,
blow your head off,
00:15:14.70\00:15:17.03
but I couldn't
because of my kids.
00:15:17.06\00:15:19.35
You know, they
couldn't find me like that.
00:15:19.39\00:15:21.13
So even when Pastor was
talking about that hope in that
00:15:21.17\00:15:25.32
grace is that even to
that short prayer God woke up
00:15:25.35\00:15:29.47
that hope in you.
00:15:29.50\00:15:31.63
I had a praying grandmother.
00:15:31.66\00:15:32.70
I had praying grandmother.
00:15:33.13\00:15:34.22
Where is Wilma?
00:15:34.25\00:15:35.51
Praying grandmas are huge.
00:15:35.55\00:15:38.71
I went through the
treatment center, and I thought
00:15:38.75\00:15:41.93
I hit rock bottom, but I
had not hit rock bottom yet.
00:15:41.96\00:15:45.05
I just love that man so
much, because he can't stand
00:15:45.09\00:15:48.29
me back up is one of my
best friends he knows every
00:15:48.32\00:15:51.49
one of my triumphs in my life.
00:15:51.52\00:15:53.28
And I had many, I was
served divorce papers there.
00:15:53.32\00:15:57.47
I knew it was
time to get busy then.
00:15:57.51\00:15:59.78
And I started truly working.
00:15:59.82\00:16:02.07
The program that he offered,
and I started in on a twelve
00:16:02.11\00:16:06.75
step recovery program.
00:16:06.78\00:16:08.10
But through it all God
is at the center of it.
00:16:08.14\00:16:12.14
So let me just say because
I want to bring Brandy up.
00:16:12.17\00:16:15.60
But let me just say one
thing that's incredible that
00:16:15.64\00:16:19.85
praying is huge, letting
people hit rock bottom is huge.
00:16:19.88\00:16:23.58
Because what happens while
we do we go on a rescue and
00:16:23.62\00:16:27.18
somebody never hits that place
where they are rock-bottom,
00:16:27.21\00:16:30.74
and they will it takes
them longer to recover.
00:16:30.78\00:16:33.01
So let them, if they are going
to lose license don't bell out
00:16:33.04\00:16:36.18
if they are
going to lose her home.
00:16:36.21\00:16:38.52
if a divorce or whatever
don't bale them out, because we
00:16:38.56\00:16:41.30
have to see what
our addictions to us.
00:16:41.34\00:16:43.93
I'm to go ahead and say thank
you and I would love to have
00:16:43.96\00:16:46.81
you back on another show.
00:16:46.85\00:16:47.92
Oh, I would love to come.
00:16:47.95\00:16:48.95
Alright, so right now
I'm going to bring Brandy up.
00:16:48.98\00:16:53.51
And so, Brandy when I
first saw you, when I turned
00:16:53.55\00:16:56.77
around and I was sitting
next to you and I turn around
00:16:56.80\00:16:59.99
and you are the
chair next to me.
00:17:00.03\00:17:01.34
And I all of a sudden
looked in your face and you look
00:17:01.37\00:17:04.70
just like my sister, who
is strung out on Meth today.
00:17:04.73\00:17:07.94
I just want to say, it
almost took my breath away.
00:17:07.97\00:17:11.11
I wanted to cry, and I wanted
you hold me and I want you to
00:17:11.15\00:17:14.61
go talk to her.
00:17:14.64\00:17:15.61
Take me to her,
I will talk to her.
00:17:15.62\00:17:17.69
So tell me a little bit
about you, your recovery,
00:17:17.72\00:17:23.07
because I know
right now you love God.
00:17:23.10\00:17:25.82
Very much so well, I
started when I was 8.
00:17:25.85\00:17:28.50
I was drinking, what was
left out of my daddy beers,
00:17:28.53\00:17:32.89
because he drank on weekends.
00:17:32.93\00:17:34.12
So I would drink
what was left in the beers
00:17:34.15\00:17:36.59
laying on the table.
00:17:36.62\00:17:37.59
A family member gave me
my first line of Meth at 12
00:17:37.60\00:17:42.49
and it just escalated.
00:17:42.53\00:17:44.80
You know, I just want to
cry when you say that, because
00:17:44.84\00:17:47.21
can you picture
a twelve-year-old,
00:17:47.25\00:17:49.50
a tiny little
thing, I can't imagine.
00:17:49.53\00:17:53.12
I couldn't imagine
me giving my cousin,
00:17:53.15\00:17:56.70
my little
twelve-year-old cousin.
00:17:56.73\00:17:58.08
My twelve year old
niece, saying here, take a line.
00:17:58.11\00:18:03.53
I can't imagine.
00:18:03.57\00:18:05.02
So, you are lost,
early on in addictions.
00:18:05.05\00:18:06.99
Well I always felt like I
never belonged anywhere anyways.
00:18:07.02\00:18:10.94
And when I couldn't
have Meth going to school,
00:18:10.98\00:18:15.81
I would do lot of
stackers, a bottle week.
00:18:15.85\00:18:20.61
And so what are stackers as
people aren't going to know.
00:18:20.64\00:18:23.65
Energy pills kind of
like energy drinks now.
00:18:23.69\00:18:26.18
Considers energy pills, diet
pills, with lots of caffeine.
00:18:26.22\00:18:30.42
So when people are
out there doing it.
00:18:30.46\00:18:31.91
I just want to scream
and say be careful, because,
00:18:31.94\00:18:35.28
that can get you too,
just like the Meth did.
00:18:35.32\00:18:40.17
I chose to do
anything by the age of 16.
00:18:40.20\00:18:44.98
My choice was to do anything
that was put in front of me.
00:18:45.02\00:18:47.99
I have snorted things up
my nose that did not belong.
00:18:48.02\00:18:51.01
And smoked things that
I had no business smoking.
00:18:51.04\00:18:53.97
And when you say that
because I was homeless for ten
00:18:54.01\00:18:56.91
years and ran around
with some severe addicts.
00:18:56.94\00:18:59.33
Is that some of the
things we don't even know are
00:18:59.36\00:19:01.71
going get is high
but were going to try it.
00:19:01.75\00:19:03.99
Stick them in our
veins or smoke them, and we
00:19:04.02\00:19:06.23
don't even know if
it's going to work.
00:19:06.27\00:19:08.35
I remember being
at a hotel one time.
00:19:08.39\00:19:10.41
It was four dollars a
night, so that's why we stayed.
00:19:10.44\00:19:12.75
The bathroom was down the
hall and we didn't have any
00:19:12.78\00:19:15.05
syringes, so we
finally look through this
00:19:15.09\00:19:17.29
horribly, dirty hotel.
00:19:17.33\00:19:19.03
Found some syringes in
the trash can, and they had
00:19:19.07\00:19:22.17
too many burs on it so we
took sandpaper, sandpapered
00:19:22.20\00:19:25.27
them down and fixed
all of us with that.
00:19:25.30\00:19:27.83
And I am saying that addicts
00:19:27.86\00:19:29.49
We don't even
think it's all about.
00:19:29.53\00:19:31.56
Somehow, just getting high.
00:19:31.60\00:19:33.85
Just getting
high. Just getting high.
00:19:33.89\00:19:36.49
And so how did
you get out of that?
00:19:36.53\00:19:39.07
How to did I, well I was,
I had a daughter at the time
00:19:39.10\00:19:44.37
and my husband took her away
from me and told me to get help,
00:19:44.40\00:19:47.25
because at that time
00:19:47.28\00:19:48.53
I was on my crack cocaine binge.
00:19:48.56\00:19:51.73
Because that's
a heavy addiction.
00:19:51.76\00:19:54.85
He found Mr. Jim's
facility, which I stayed thirty
00:19:54.89\00:20:00.70
days and did outpatient.
00:20:00.74\00:20:02.23
How did you afford it?
00:20:02.27\00:20:03.69
I had insurance and
insurance paid for it.
00:20:03.72\00:20:08.07
I graduated, that didn't
I stay clean, because God
00:20:08.10\00:20:14.50
blessed me with a treatment
baby, as I like to call
00:20:14.53\00:20:20.89
him, he's 2 now.
00:20:21.19\00:20:22.16
I didn't get the
message then, until I was on the
00:20:22.17\00:20:26.66
bottom of my knees,
holding a fifth of whiskey,
00:20:26.69\00:20:31.19
yelling, God please
either help me or kill me.
00:20:31.22\00:20:34.10
either one, and He got
me back through the doors.
00:20:34.14\00:20:37.29
I want to stop you,
because I think when we do come
00:20:37.32\00:20:40.41
to God with that thing, is
please, in your mercy kill me
00:20:40.44\00:20:45.89
because I don't
want to breath again.
00:20:45.93\00:20:47.94
And I remember feeling
that I don't want to take
00:20:47.97\00:20:50.11
one more breath
because I'm so done.
00:20:50.14\00:20:51.99
The people in your life
are not trustworthy, I mean,
00:20:52.02\00:20:54.90
I saw some addiction,
sexual addiction and damage on
00:20:54.93\00:20:57.90
the street that was
huge and saying God heal me,
00:20:57.94\00:21:00.88
or kill me.
00:21:00.91\00:21:03.08
I say kill me a lot just
take me in my sleep, please,
00:21:03.12\00:21:06.93
don't let me open my eyes.
00:21:06.97\00:21:08.30
I know what to do this anymore.
00:21:08.33\00:21:11.40
I found God, all them times.
00:21:11.43\00:21:14.47
How, what did it feel like?
00:21:14.51\00:21:16.78
It felt like the whole
world had been lifted off my
00:21:16.82\00:21:20.20
shoulders, that's what it
felt like, cause I was carrying
00:21:20.23\00:21:22.84
I was God,
what! what, I was God.
00:21:22.88\00:21:25.90
Then, through the
twelve step program...
00:21:25.94\00:21:30.89
I want a poster with
that underneath that, because
00:21:30.92\00:21:34.07
do you know what all of heaven
says you know what, for most
00:21:34.10\00:21:37.00
of you guys believe,
that and it is ridiculous.
00:21:37.28\00:21:39.23
You are not God.
00:21:39.27\00:21:40.61
And I want to help you.
00:21:40.65\00:21:43.26
I have a sign that's
above my kitchen window that
00:21:43.30\00:21:46.96
says in big bold black
letters, God is in control.
00:21:46.99\00:21:49.99
And I read that while I'm
doing dishes over and over
00:21:50.02\00:21:52.98
and over again just to
remind me God's in control
00:21:53.02\00:21:56.30
of my life today.
00:21:56.33\00:21:57.96
And He is going to
lead you into a life
00:21:57.99\00:22:01.65
that is full of joy.
00:22:01.69\00:22:02.97
You've been in
recovery for how long now?
00:22:03.00\00:22:05.42
A year and 4 months.
00:22:05.46\00:22:07.34
I just want to give you kiss.
00:22:07.37\00:22:10.19
I just want to
say congratulations
00:22:10.23\00:22:12.78
for your recovery.
00:22:12.81\00:22:13.78
You have my prayers are
going to be for you in every way
00:22:13.79\00:22:18.92
in healing and restoration.
00:22:18.96\00:22:21.11
Definitely spiritual
connection with God and
00:22:21.15\00:22:23.57
that my prayer is
that you go tell someone.
00:22:23.60\00:22:25.99
I do on a daily basis.
00:22:26.02\00:22:28.65
Good, so go to my sisters.
00:22:28.69\00:22:30.98
In order to keep it,
I have to give it away.
00:22:31.01\00:22:32.40
Thank you for coming up.
00:22:34.25\00:22:35.22
I'm going to say, I want
you to meet Sean's daughter.
00:22:35.23\00:22:39.83
So Sean has died of his
Meth addiction, wanted to put
00:22:39.86\00:22:44.01
a film out, wanted to
talk about the different things
00:22:44.05\00:22:48.17
that has happened in his life.
00:22:48.20\00:22:49.48
Wanted to so share with
people, you know that this is
00:22:49.52\00:22:52.66
going to kill you, your
addictions will kill you.
00:22:52.69\00:22:55.80
And there is a God
that says you don't have
00:22:55.83\00:22:58.57
to die this way.
00:22:58.61\00:22:59.58
You don't have to die
this way and I want to support
00:22:59.59\00:23:01.61
your life that you will have.
00:23:01.64\00:23:03.05
You will have a life
full of hope and joy.
00:23:03.09\00:23:04.43
Some of us make it, some
of us don't, and only God
00:23:04.47\00:23:06.94
knows why that is.
00:23:06.97\00:23:08.13
I don't even question
Him anymore, but I want to
00:23:08.17\00:23:11.11
introduce you to Sean's
daughter and hear from her
00:23:11.15\00:23:14.06
point of view.
00:23:14.10\00:23:15.07
With this whole
thing has meant to her.
00:23:15.08\00:23:16.70
So come on up Cody.
00:23:16.73\00:23:17.86
And I just got to
tell you, you are adorable.
00:23:20.35\00:23:22.21
You are 14, 13?
00:23:22.24\00:23:24.62
13, You are 13
years old and thank you.
00:23:24.65\00:23:26.64
So this is your dad
that we are talking about.
00:23:26.68\00:23:30.06
Do you remember him.
00:23:30.09\00:23:32.25
Yeah, I remember when I
was little, but then kind of
00:23:32.28\00:23:40.10
wasn't really around him much.
00:23:40.14\00:23:42.53
Because of his addiction.
00:23:42.57\00:23:43.95
Yeah, and then when we finally
got a call I think I was 11,
00:23:43.99\00:23:48.68
10 or 11 when grandpa
called and said your dad
00:23:48.71\00:23:52.15
had a heart attack.
00:23:52.18\00:23:53.15
I didn't
understand, I was like okay.
00:23:53.16\00:23:56.24
Did you get to go
down and see him then?
00:23:56.27\00:23:59.37
Yeah, the night before he died.
00:23:59.41\00:24:02.30
Was he in any place
where he knew you were there?
00:24:02.34\00:24:05.00
No, he called me,
he called me Maria.
00:24:05.03\00:24:09.34
Who is that?
00:24:09.37\00:24:10.60
That's my other sister.
00:24:10.63\00:24:12.13
How many kids did he have?
00:24:12.17\00:24:13.43
Four.
00:24:13.47\00:24:14.44
By the same mom?
00:24:14.45\00:24:15.73
No.
00:24:15.76\00:24:16.73
All different moms.
00:24:16.74\00:24:17.71
Yeah.
00:24:17.72\00:24:18.69
Okay, are you
close to your sisters?
00:24:18.70\00:24:20.84
Yeah.
00:24:20.87\00:24:21.84
Okay, so tell me a little
bit about him were talking
00:24:21.87\00:24:24.72
about all these kind of
things and how your dad really
00:24:24.76\00:24:27.58
has changed our lives
brought us into a place in
00:24:27.61\00:24:29.99
recovery and those kind
of things, what do you think
00:24:30.02\00:24:32.37
when you hear that stuff?
00:24:32.40\00:24:33.39
I'm overwhelmed, everybody
is listening to what he is
00:24:33.42\00:24:39.78
saying getting the message
as he said if he has one kid.
00:24:39.82\00:24:45.46
Just one kid to not do
Meth than it was all worth it.
00:24:45.49\00:24:51.10
How bout you, are
you going to do drugs?
00:24:51.13\00:24:53.78
No.
00:24:53.81\00:24:54.99
Have you ever been tempted?
00:24:55.02\00:24:56.16
Yes but I'm not.
00:24:56.19\00:24:58.54
I just want to say, and I
just want to say Cody from the
00:24:58.58\00:25:03.63
first that I saw you, because
I so fell love with your father,
00:25:03.67\00:25:05.91
watching this video,
and in meeting your family.
00:25:05.94\00:25:08.57
As I look at you and I
think you know what genetically
00:25:08.61\00:25:11.17
you have drug genes.
00:25:11.21\00:25:13.22
The reason I want to tell
you that, is you are going
00:25:13.25\00:25:17.77
predisposed to addictions,
and you just have to know that
00:25:17.81\00:25:20.82
so that you don't put
yourself in any harm's way.
00:25:20.85\00:25:23.79
Don't try a drug, don't
drink with your friends,
00:25:23.83\00:25:26.99
go out and learn how to
ski, take pictures, or sing,
00:25:27.02\00:25:29.98
or do something that's fun,
but don't do any substances,
00:25:30.02\00:25:33.27
because you have your
grandma and you know, she's got
00:25:33.30\00:25:36.00
cigarette addiction that
cause the breathing issues.
00:25:36.03\00:25:38.69
And your grandpa and
your dad, the genetically,
00:25:38.73\00:25:42.22
look at me don't do
drugs, alright, okay.
00:25:42.25\00:25:47.68
Let's say, we have not
much time left on this segment
00:25:47.71\00:25:52.56
and I wanted
just kind of wrap up.
00:25:52.60\00:25:56.11
For one, thank you for your dad,
because I can't thank your dad
00:25:56.14\00:26:01.62
so I want to thank
you that this story
00:26:01.66\00:26:03.58
is getting out there.
00:26:03.62\00:26:04.64
I wanted thank you,
that I know, you go to school
00:26:04.67\00:26:07.22
sometimes and talk
with people in recovery.
00:26:07.26\00:26:09.23
Don't you go
with them sometimes.
00:26:09.27\00:26:10.70
Yeah,
00:26:10.74\00:26:12.81
and so what is really
interesting to me is that
00:26:12.85\00:26:15.98
I'm hoping Sean's story affects
you more than anyone else.
00:26:16.01\00:26:19.82
First and then I'm hoping
that you keep sharing this
00:26:19.85\00:26:23.62
so that people
don't use and don't get
00:26:23.66\00:26:25.26
lost in their addictions.
00:26:25.29\00:26:26.28
You know, we are talking
about your dad in recovery,
00:26:26.32\00:26:29.51
but most of all, we
so are talking about God.
00:26:29.55\00:26:33.42
We do so are talking
about the fact that God,
00:26:33.46\00:26:37.26
until our last breath,
until our liver finally says, I
00:26:37.30\00:26:41.09
absolutely can't
take anything else.
00:26:41.12\00:26:43.03
That I can't do this
anymore, then God will not give
00:26:43.07\00:26:46.19
up on us never,
ever, ever, give up on us.
00:26:46.23\00:26:48.59
And He said, I will
see you with hope and joy.
00:26:48.62\00:26:50.71
I don't care when you
asked me, but ask Him now
00:26:50.74\00:26:52.79
we'll be right back.
00:26:52.82\00:26:53.86
Stay with us!
00:26:53.89\00:26:54.86