You know Shannon and I
said goodbye and I was going
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to let her go, but I
have one more thing that
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I want to so talk about.
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I was amazed in my own recovery,
my own sexual healing of
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how God has changed
me from how I felt so
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not good enough.
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So ugly and so ashamed of
who I was, to I feel so amazing
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as a woman of God standing
in the presence of a Holy God
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and just thinking I belong here.
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I want you to talk about that,
how was that for you and what
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kind of things can people
look forward to in recovery?
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I remember before
recovery, just how I was
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such a driven person.
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And I felt like I had to
earn people's attention and
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affection, and it was
just all about on a treadmill.
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Just trying to earn and
perform, perform, perform
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keep the mask in
place and all that.
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But I remember that
when I was at home by myself,
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or with my kids.
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Just that deep
sense of depression.
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It was like this dark
cloud around me all the time I
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remember pulling the covers up
over my head and praying Lord,
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just let them sleep thirty more
minutes or Lord just let them
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watch one more Barney tape.
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I just could not function.
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I only went out of the
house when I absolutely had to.
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I didn't understand that this
is depression that is caused
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by unresolved stuff.
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If you just resolve it,
then the light will come on,
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the joy will return.
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I would never want to go
back, there and you know people
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sometimes ask me, aren't
you afraid you will stumble and
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fall back into that?
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Well know I'm cautious, because
the Bible says that we need
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to be wise that way.
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But I would never
choose to go back there again.
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I know I know how wonderful
recovery feels, I know how it
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feels to be sexually confident
wife and to enjoy an intimate,
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passionate, romantic
encounter with my husband.
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I would never go
back to the cheap stuff.
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It's like what you've had
Filet Mignon, why would you eat
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stale or week-old hamburger?
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Because being present
and knowing who you are and
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enjoying who you are
sensually, sexually and all that
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kind of stuff is incredible.
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And I am not even talking
about just the intimate act.
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I'm talking about the
relationship and standing there
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as a woman of God and
confident in who you are.
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And it's your relationship
with everyone in your life with
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your children, with your
husband, with your friends, with
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your church, with God.
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Everything is transformed
when you put it all, like you
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said, when you put it out
there on the table for healing.
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I remember driving
down this street one day.
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I'm driving down the street
saying God, you know, I just
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turned 50, and I want to
figure out, I want somebody to
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look at me and tell me
I'm cute or flirt with me.
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I'm married, so God is like
Hon, I can't do that for you.
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As He is talking to me the
Holy Spirit, I pass this sign
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on the side of the road, and
there is this incredibly good
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looking insurance guy, where
the make the eyes look like
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they follow every
car, and he is smiling.
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I hear the Holy Spirit, and
I look at the sign I hear the
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Holy Spirit say that's
the best I can do for you.
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How is that!
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So, I think even God
laughs at our journey as we get
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through all this kindof
stuff and let it fall from us.
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He kind of smiles with us
and He loves us, but He's saying
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He'll do it, because as you
get done with this you are not
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going to look for
billboards to smile at you.
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Or people to flirt with
you which means nothing.
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You are actually going to feel
present and enjoy the intimate
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relationships in your life.
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Friends, church people,
definitely husband's, children,
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I think when we don't heal
sexually we can't even really
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love our children, as we should.
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Right, it's like we get
the attention and affection we
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craved, but it's in
a much healthier form.
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It's something we can be
proud of, not something that
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we have to hide
from other people.
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When someone says, and again,
I just think you for answering
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that when somebody says to
me that Cheri, you just look
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like you love God, and
there is so much joy and
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I think you know.
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It is that God has
taken all the junk you know,
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I have said before on another
show if you have skeletons
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in your closets, take
them out, teach them to dance,
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because they are
not going to go away,
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and it means everything.
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It means that the twisted
stuff that we learned before
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we learn to speak sometimes
for some of us and the junk
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we have learned in relationships
and how freely we kind
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of give ourselves in
relationships and friendships
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and what ever to
each other and how God.
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Just so, I think it grieves God,
because He knows, and Shannon,
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you covered this in one of your
books about the woman at the
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well is God meets this women
that has had five marriages,
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she is not married to the
person that she's lived with.
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He never looked at her in shame.
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He just said, you know
what come and heal here,
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drink from this water.
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Let me teach you what it
feels like to be a woman,
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to be well to be healed.
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And you will never go
back to that, you'll never seek
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this from someone else.
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That hole in your heart
that is so huge and so empty,
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it will never be empty
again and it will be filled with
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the only person that can
fill it and that is God Himself
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through the Holy Spirit.
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And I just beg you
to give God a chance.
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Let him come
in, and even slowly.
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If the only thing I can say
to Him one day is you know what,
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I'm kind of a mess.
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You know all of
heaven would be cracking up,
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but He'll let you go there.
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And I'm kind of a mess and
I might need a little healing,
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and He says okay, we'll start
there, then as you are able to
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share with Him more
of the serious things.
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Definitely the early
molesting was hard for me to
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bring to the table.
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The significance of that, the
young relationships that were
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so young were hard,
but at every single thing,
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He said, you know what I'm
glad you brought that up because
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I have a feeling here that
is some believable and so for
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one I want to say trust
God trust God in every single
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shadow, in every single dark
place in your life, every single
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shameful thing you have
in your life and I beg you,
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just give Him a chance and
remember, see you next time,
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but always remember till then
that God is crazy about you,
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I'm crazy about you.
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Stay true to your
recovery bye, bye!
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