Welcome to
Celebrating Life and Recovery.
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I'm Cheri your host.
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Last season, we covered
Every Man's Battle and all
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the women, a lot of
women, out there said,
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what about me?
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This program, we are
going to look at every woman's
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battle so come join us.
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The book for this
season is Exalting in His Word
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by Shelley Quinn.
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She says in that
book that we are either
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powerful or pitiful.
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And I so relate to that.
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I either walk in the power
of God, in the Holy Spirit,
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and we talk about the Holy
Spirit on the whole last season,
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or I limp around through
the day struggling under the
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weight of my own junk.
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And I just I so believe
that everything in me says
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that I'm not smart enough.
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I'm not together enough.
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I don't even know
where the damage is really
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so that I can figure it out.
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But if I turn to
God and say, God,
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You know through the Holy Spirit
show me, because you know,
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15 years, 15 years in the
first part of my recovery.
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I chased after everything.
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I decided, you know, my
problem is I'm a heroine addict.
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That's all it is.
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So I'm going to do every single
thing, about drug recovery,
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and I did.
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I got all the books.
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I went to all the classes.
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I went to all the groups
and all that kind of stuff.
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Every time I was in church,
I wanted to tell everybody,
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"Hi, my name is Cheri, strung
out on heroine, I'm a mess!
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You know, normal people
look at you like, What you know!
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And my first suicide
attempt was when I was an eight.
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I wanted to so cover
all that stuff, you know.
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And so I'm following all that.
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I'm struggling with all that.
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I'm trying to learn all that.
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I'm trying to do the
right thing and do recovery.
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Just be all that.
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You know what, after
like 20 years, God says to me,
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you know Hon, the
issue is, you don't know
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how to trust anymore.
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You never let anyone love you.
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You don't know how to do that.
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I'm thinking, I
don't think that's it.
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I still think
you're wrong about that.
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And it is so funny
when we think God is wrong
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about something,
He can't be wrong.
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I mean, you know,
He literally can't be
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anything but
what He is, you know.
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And so it took me a long
time to finally say, He gave
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me an image, and I know
everybody's had this image
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before, but I want to
tell you He literally showed me
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that I'm in a room,
no windows, bricked up,
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and three years old.
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Sitting in the corner
just crying, just sad.
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He gives me this image,
and I'm thinking you know,
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man, that's kind of sad.
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I don't think that's me.
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And He says, you know
what every time I even get
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close to your little
brick house and try to move
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one little brick.
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You get so scared
I have to back off.
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And I am just asking
you, let me heal that part.
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And I finally I sat
there in worship and study and
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thought okay God,
how am I going to let
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you heal that part?
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cause if it's true, and I
was starting to begin to feel
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the whole weight of the truth
of it, if it's true, I don't
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know how to let You heal it.
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I don't how to do this.
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I don't know how to
let someone trust me.
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I don't know how
to let people in.
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I believe I have attachments
disorders, bondage disorders,
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and most of you know, my
mom tried to abort me six times
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while she carried me.
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We had no bonding stuff.
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So I have all that
and I am so afraid, God.
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I'm afraid, I don't
know how to heal from here.
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And He says, good, let me do it.
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And I am thinking, really?
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You'll do it and I just
wanted to weep, because I don't
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know how to do it.
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You know you and I
don't know how to do it.
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John 15:5 says, "apart
from me, you can do nothing".
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Nothing, and He doesn't
mean that in a way that He's
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trying to just say
that you are nothing.
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You can't figure it out.
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He's not just saying
the damage is so intense,
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it's so deep, it's so out
of your range of even being
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able to see the
whole ramification of
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what happened to you.
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Generations may be,
what happened to you.
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You can't do anything, but
I am God, and the Holy Spirit.
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In Isaiah 57:18, was our
text last season, that says,
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I'm God, and I love you
and I want you to heal you.
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I know how damaged you are,
but I want to heal you anyway.
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For all that kind of stuff
we have to so trust God in that.
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I finally just
wept and said, okay.
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I can't do it, and God
just likes to joke with me.
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I don't know if He
jokes with you guys,
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but He likes to joke with me.
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He says, now you're at step 1.
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And I'm like, I've been in
recovery for like 20 years.
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Step 1 is not where I'm at.
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He's like Hon, step 1.
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Okay, step 1.
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I think, how fun is God.
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Our damage is so intense,
it's so deep, for most of us,
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that He says I will take
as long as you need to take.
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I will not force
you into recovery.
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I won't force you to look
at anything that you are not
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ready to look at.
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I won't force you
to do the right thing.
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I will so love you, that
you will be able to see it
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as the right thing.
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You'll long to do it.
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Wow, stop it!
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How cool is that, I just
amazes me how cool that is.
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The rest the text, in John
15:5 says that God is the vine,
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the root, He is what
goes into the ground.
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If you look at a root or a
plant, and literally takes all
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the nutrients and just so brings
up the water in the nutrients,
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and all the stuff in the soil
and feeds the branches, which
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we are the branches, it says,
so, we are the branches, and
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then the fruit comes from
all that happening, bringing
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to the branches
and we bear fruit.
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And so He says remember, if
you cut the root at the bottom.
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And that's what it means apart
from Me you can't do anything.
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If you cut the very source
that is going to be your best
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counselor, your best Father,
Physician, friend, lover, all
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that kind of stuff, if you cut
that at the root, then all of
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that is robbed from you.
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So remember in recovery,
and I just beg you, in recovery,
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and I don't care what you
are recovering from because
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I can list tons of stuff.
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Whether sexual addictions,
drug addictions, religious
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addictions, work-alcoholism,
eating disorders, cutting.
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I've seen
people, I mean people are
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addicted to everything.
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I think anger
sometimes as an addiction.
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I like adrenaline, and that
happens, and I feel powerful,
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when I'm just
in-your-face, and I'm like this
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puffer fish thing.
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I mean we have all
these addictions, whatever the
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addiction is, it's
apart from God, you are not
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able to figure it out.
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I'm going to talk to you
about for the first 20 years of
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my recovery, 15
years or whatever.
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Every single step that I made,
you know, I just like in going
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to do this recovery thing.
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I'm going to do it.
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I'm going to step up, and
I'm going do the right thing.
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I'm going to eat the right
thing and sleep and not get
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too tired too hungry, like
every 12 step program says.
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I'm going to make
sure I do all that.
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And I do it, for as long
as I can white knuckle it.
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And then all the
junk hits me, I fall like
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2, 4, 8, 10 feet back.
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Every step I make, I'm
falling back 10 feet, you know.
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So it's just like
I'm so self-defeating.
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As soon as I learn to
turn over to God, as soon as I
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decided God, I'm
going to let You take this.
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I'm going to let you do this.
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If I think I'm even going
to read a book, on recovery.
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If I'm even going to
open the page on recovery,
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I'm going to ask
you, is this the book?
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Is this good,
because I don't know.
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I don't know.
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And so I'm just going to
trust God to that extent.
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I want to, before I go on,
to what I want, the first part
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of this program, where we
were talking a little bit about
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how the show
and stuff like that.
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I want to introduce you to
the guest here, and we have
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some incredible folks.
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Amanda, your joining us.
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And I'm so glad Shannon Ethridge
sharing Every Woman's Battle.
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We are going to get in
that a lot today, so if your
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sensitive at all, if you
do not like people to talk
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about sex or sexual things RUN!
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Run! don't watch the show.
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But you know what, we are
sexual beings, and we have the
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privilege of
healing in this area.
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It's so cool.
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So stay with us.
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JoAnie from California, one
of my best friends, I have a
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few people that I put
here because you know, I'm just
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afraid to trust people.
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But you are one of my best
friends, and I'm so privilege
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to have you here.
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Heather, thank you,
you've been on the show before,
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I'm glad you're here.
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Irma, how cool are you.
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Thank you for joining us.
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Nyse Collins, and Nyse,
I'm hoping to see you tons.
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You're going to be doing
another show, doing a testimony
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and I'm hoping
to see you, ton's.
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So now I want to tell you
one thing before I introduce
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you to the guest
which is Shannon Ethridge.
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Is I want to tell you, I
got asked to go to Russia.
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So I, I'm thrilled about going.
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I'm a heroin addict in
recovery, as flaky as can be.
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I'm going to do a
six-week outreach in Russia
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with heroin addicts.
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And I know God is
going to bless us beyond
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what we could even imagine.
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And so I'm getting
ready for the trip.
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It was hilarious,
because someone says, six weeks.
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And they know I never
take notes, and I never know
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what I'm going to talk about.
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I never know because I
trust the Holy Spirit is just
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going to say what the
Holy Spirit needs to say.
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This, what are you
going to do for six weeks?
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And I am thinking I
don't know, they said,
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you have to have a plan.
00:09:27.76\00:09:28.91
I'm thinking, really, because
I don't do well with plans.
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I don't know if
anybody can tell that I'm ADD.
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I'm flaky, so plans are
not something that I do well.
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No, no plan.
00:09:38.21\00:09:39.42
And I am thinking,
really, well yeah have like a
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whole kind of
seminar on PowerPoint.
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It would just be cool.
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And I am like a really.
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And I'm excited, I am thinking
somebody even thinks I'm
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capable of doing like a
PowerPoint presentation.
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How funny is that.
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So, I'm like okay so I get one.
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You can buy those with the
pictures and the scriptural
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references and
everything, it's like the whole
00:10:01.79\00:10:03.86
six weeks is planned out.
00:10:03.90\00:10:05.19
And it's
beautiful, it's perfect.
00:10:05.23\00:10:07.79
I never saw such a
together program in my life.
00:10:07.82\00:10:10.71
I'm like, I am just
going to be, this is going to
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be so much fun.
00:10:13.63\00:10:14.60
Then someone says,
what language is it in?
00:10:14.62\00:10:17.31
Oh shut up, what do you mean?
00:10:17.34\00:10:19.87
I said it's English, well,
aren't you going to Russia?
00:10:19.91\00:10:22.65
Oh man, so I now have to find
this same program in Russian.
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That takes me forever.
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So I finally found the program,
and now I have the program,
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and never opened it.
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I get to Russia, and
they asked me, what are you
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going to talk about?
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I have a PowerPoint program.
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And they said, with tears in
their eyes, was amazing to me
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teared up, I was hoping you
would talk to us about addiction
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and freedom from that.
00:10:48.87\00:10:50.97
And I was just was so convicted
I thought God, I'm so sorry,
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because You did have a plan.
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And it wasn't
another Bible study.
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Bible studies are
absolutely amazing.
00:10:57.96\00:10:59.83
But we are dying because
we are lost in our addictions,
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it's huge, it
absolutely is huge.
00:11:02.00\00:11:04.29
So I get there,
00:11:04.32\00:11:06.14
before I got there God tells
me that the Mafia is going to
00:11:06.17\00:11:11.21
approach us.
00:11:11.24\00:11:12.54
And I was going to
work with the Russian mafia.
00:11:12.57\00:11:14.00
I'm like Ahhhh! How fun is that!
00:11:14.03\00:11:17.09
So I call my pastor, pastor,
you've got to pray for me
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because I think I'm
going to minister to the Mafia.
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It is like you are so grandiose.
00:11:22.65\00:11:25.15
No! no, I think the
Holy Spirit told me that.
00:11:25.18\00:11:27.20
I even got a book
on Mafia and Russia.
00:11:27.23\00:11:29.11
So I could kind of,
what they do when the whole
00:11:29.14\00:11:32.96
political system is
falling, mafias taken over.
00:11:32.99\00:11:35.21
I mean is just
this incredible thing.
00:11:35.24\00:11:37.00
So I got some information,
and I get there in the
00:11:37.03\00:11:39.56
first couple days.
00:11:39.59\00:11:40.56
I get a call at the studio
in Russia, and they say to me.
00:11:40.57\00:11:45.00
Somebody from the
Mafia wants to meet with you.
00:11:45.03\00:11:48.51
I knew it, I knew it!
00:11:48.54\00:11:51.24
How fun is that,
like how fun is that!
00:11:51.27\00:11:54.13
But I'm like okay,
okay, you know, I'm ready.
00:11:54.16\00:11:56.66
So we meet, he's Russian.
00:11:56.69\00:12:00.87
So he can't understand
anything and he is trying
00:12:00.90\00:12:03.45
to do small talk.
00:12:03.48\00:12:04.45
And I have an interpreter
and he shows me a picture
00:12:04.46\00:12:06.02
of his three year
old son, gorgeous kid.
00:12:06.05\00:12:08.01
The Mafia is not so much
into drugs, just blowing people
00:12:08.04\00:12:11.55
up and doing protection
stuff, taking money from
00:12:11.58\00:12:14.77
businesses, and stuff like that.
00:12:14.80\00:12:16.12
But this guy got
strung out on heroine.
00:12:16.15\00:12:17.56
So the whole family
says, you know, you got to deal
00:12:17.59\00:12:19.81
with your drugs.
00:12:19.84\00:12:20.81
You can blow up a
whole train in Moscow,
00:12:20.82\00:12:24.17
but don't be a heroine addict.
00:12:24.20\00:12:25.60
Well that's just
not okay with us.
00:12:25.63\00:12:27.01
Anyhow, so we're are meeting,
and I trying to figure out
00:12:27.04\00:12:30.67
how to deal with this guy.
00:12:30.70\00:12:31.68
What do I tell him about
who God is and why do you walk
00:12:31.71\00:12:35.57
away from your addictions.
00:12:35.60\00:12:36.73
And so then I'm tell
in them all addictions.
00:12:36.76\00:12:39.83
He's like, you know what
I'm telling you, I have no
00:12:39.86\00:12:44.66
other problems that I want
to deal with it except this.
00:12:44.69\00:12:46.87
I'm okay in everything else.
00:12:46.90\00:12:48.21
I'm just saying he's
in my face, I'm like okay.
00:12:48.24\00:12:51.72
Let's just say, do
you play board games?
00:12:51.75\00:12:55.52
How about let's
pretend monopoly,
00:12:55.55\00:12:58.25
we're going to play Monopoly.
00:12:58.28\00:12:59.25
And you know
monopoly and the monopoly is.
00:12:59.27\00:13:01.90
You have all
these different pieces.
00:13:01.93\00:13:03.65
You know you have liked
a top hat, and you have,
00:13:03.68\00:13:06.68
whatever car, dog, and
all that kind of stuff.
00:13:06.71\00:13:10.20
The little iron.
00:13:10.23\00:13:11.20
I mean, you have
all these little pieces.
00:13:11.21\00:13:12.31
But I'm going to have
you imagine that each piece
00:13:12.34\00:13:15.45
represents a horrible
addiction, each piece.
00:13:15.48\00:13:18.20
The top hat is gambling, right?
00:13:18.23\00:13:21.96
Little dog is, kicking
dogs, that's the anger.
00:13:21.99\00:13:25.19
You know what
ever, eating disorders,
00:13:25.22\00:13:27.76
sexual
addictions, drug addictions.
00:13:27.79\00:13:29.24
So we are going
to play the game.
00:13:29.27\00:13:30.79
I want you to pick
a piece, pick a piece.
00:13:30.82\00:13:34.61
And so he looked at it for
a minute, so he picked drug
00:13:34.64\00:13:40.52
addiction, because you
know he's dealing with drugs.
00:13:40.55\00:13:42.41
Okay, so we played
for a little while,
00:13:42.44\00:13:44.62
I said, pick another piece.
00:13:44.65\00:13:47.34
Okay sexual addiction.
00:13:47.37\00:13:48.96
I'm playing, he's
playing, we're playing,
00:13:48.99\00:13:50.74
for a little while.
00:13:50.77\00:13:51.74
Pick another piece, wait,
no, no about how about you
00:13:51.75\00:13:53.95
not pick a piece?
00:13:53.98\00:13:54.95
Pick a piece for your son.
00:13:54.96\00:13:55.93
And he looked at me
and said, I'm not picking
00:13:55.94\00:13:59.04
a piece for my son,
yea you have no choice
00:13:59.07\00:14:02.03
you are going to be
lost in this addiction, pick
00:14:02.06\00:14:04.99
a piece for your son,
and he is like I am not.
00:14:05.02\00:14:07.99
I could see this anger.
00:14:08.02\00:14:10.01
I said, if you are going
to be lost in addictions,
00:14:10.04\00:14:12.13
I don't care what they
are, you are going to pass them
00:14:12.16\00:14:14.27
on to the next generation.
00:14:14.30\00:14:15.65
God is begging you, put
the pieces down and step
00:14:15.68\00:14:20.10
away from the board.
00:14:20.13\00:14:21.25
Don't play, don't even
think that you are going to play
00:14:21.28\00:14:24.46
with a lesser addiction.
00:14:24.49\00:14:25.91
Don't play, because every
addiction keeps you in the game
00:14:25.94\00:14:29.14
and every addiction keeps
you trashed, every addiction.
00:14:29.17\00:14:32.49
So, we're going to talk
today about sexual addictions.
00:14:32.52\00:14:35.12
And we are going to talk
about relationship addictions,
00:14:35.15\00:14:37.12
and those kind of things.
00:14:37.15\00:14:38.12
And I beg you to listen up.
00:14:38.13\00:14:39.47
Because God is begging
us, don't play the game.
00:14:39.50\00:14:42.37
Don't play the
game, turn it over to Him.
00:14:42.40\00:14:44.79
The Holy Spirit and choose
recovery, and He will give you
00:14:44.82\00:14:47.66
a life that you
wouldn't trade for anything.
00:14:47.69\00:14:49.48
So we will be right back.
00:14:49.51\00:14:50.73
Stay with us!
00:14:50.76\00:14:51.83