The following program
discusses sensitive issues
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related to addictive behavior.
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Parents are
cautioned that some material
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may be too candid
for younger children.
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Welcome back,
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so we're talking
about what happens
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when there's
trouble in paradise,
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what happens when all
of the sudden everything
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that you have really
fought for, worked for,
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you felt like, you know,
I've got all the right motives
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because what you're saying is,
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I did it all for what
you believed at the time,
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the right reasons and
now you're living in the US,
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you're trying to find
help for your child who,
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all the doctors are saying,
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this is a rare case and she
will not probably even survive
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and you're just,
wanted to scream.
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Yep.
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How is Dina doing
during all of this?
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Oh, Dina.
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First of all,
she's absolutely amazing,
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how she adapted her attitude
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around the challenge immediately
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and her attitude
was very positive.
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Obviously very
traumatized by the, you know,
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by the diagnosis and
her view like mine was,
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you can plan your life
for the rest of your life
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but in the twinkling of an eye,
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your whole life is just
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completely
changed in front of you
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and the way that
Dina adapted to that...
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'Cause she's saying, the
reality was there for her
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but she's not angry
at anyone, she's saying,
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how do we do this now?
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She always
smiles, she always laughs,
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she had got brilliant
attitude, she'd always smile,
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she was up to the challenge...
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I've been in your house. Yeah.
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And she does always
smile. She always smiles.
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You know, you walk out
feeling like, you know,
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there is a
strength that she has...
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That I want some of that.
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Oh, she has
incredible strength and in fact,
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her strength has
impacted my life positively
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through the challenging times.
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Not so say we haven't had
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our own personal
challenges through this...
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Exactly.
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'Cause we have,
we're not perfect.
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Yet and all of that, you know,
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Dina has stayed the
same all the way through.
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She smiled, she's always
been up for the challenge,
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she'll do whatever it takes
to give Kennedy Rose, Miles...
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What do we do
next? Where do we go?
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Yep, yes.
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You know, just be proactive,
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organizing the
therapy treatments,
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the doctor's visits,
tracking down a pediatrician
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who was an expert in
the area of Cri-du-chat,
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probably seen
the most in his life
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and that was 15, in America.
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In his whole life, yeah.
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In America, yeah. Yeah.
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From New York to
Indiana, he moved from New York.
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She was always on the,
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you know, she
was just dedicated,
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it's almost like she
knew her purpose in life.
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You know, she knew that if
this is what was given to us
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and if God had
allowed this to happen,
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then she was ready for it.
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How do we do it? Yeah.
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And so, on one hand,
she's trying to look at that
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but she's looking
at you as your wife
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because it's hard to
hide from our spouse,
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she's looking at you knowing
that you are melting down.
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That you are angry, that
this is not okay with you,
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I'm not gonna accept
this, where do we need to go?
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Where can we get help?
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God, where are you?
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So she's trying not to lose you
in the process of all of this.
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She's trying very
hard not to lose me
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and keep me focused
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'cause she probably knew
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a little bit more about
me than I knew about myself.
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And to be disrupted like that.
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At no point in time,
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did we think or consider that
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Kennedy Rose
wasn't part of our family.
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She was completely embraced
and loved unconditionally.
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It was the challenges of,
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no one gives you
an instruction book
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with the syndrome
like this and says,
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"Hi, you know,
this is the step A
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and then you can go to B."
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There was nothing.
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So we are literally
finding our way in the abyss,
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so to speak and Dina just,
straight down the line, man,
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she's just lots of
love, lots of commitment,
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lots of
dedication, lots of research.
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Do whatever it
takes attitude and smile,
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all the way through it.
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And you're shutting
down. Me, I'm angry.
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Oh, good friend of
mine, Robert Dickwell,
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he had his own
general construction company,
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I say, give me a hammer.
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Yeah.
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And so after
hitting, just went in,
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bangs nails and knocked wood
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and I was angry and he
had to put up with me saying,
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"What kind of a bleep,
bleep, bleep, bleep, bleeping
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God would do a
bleep, bleep, bleep,
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after He performed
a miracle with my..."
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you know, and here's
Dina just getting busy
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to straight down with
it in and at that point
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Dina and I realized that
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in order for our family
to stay engaged as a family,
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that there was no room
for me to be an entrepreneur
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or a businessman in America,
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which is what I said to God.
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What did she mean by that?
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'Cause she's saying, you know,
I can't have you, doing what?
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Well, for me, it
was like, "Hey, God,
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this is your
daughter that you gave to me.
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So if I'm gonna
step out in faith
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and give America a go,
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then I'm gonna lift up my arms
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and I'm gonna say, 'Bless me.' "
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Yeah.
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Because I'm walking away
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from my
multimillion dollar business,
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I'm sitting on the pig's back.
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Right.
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My wife is used to
a lifestyle, you know,
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"Come on, man, let's do this."
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I can't have God
drop a beat. Yeah.
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"Yeah, come on, God, you owe me.
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I mean, after all,
you've planted her in my life."
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That was my attitude.
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And we say that now casually,
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because you have
really confronted that...
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Oh, big time.
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But that was your
attitude. That was.
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It's like, you know what, God?
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I can't give back to
you if you don't fix this.
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It's like, you need me almost.
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Yeah, it was my conditional love
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to an
unconditional loving Father.
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He's so gracious.
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So that was our journey.
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So I started closing up.
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I started getting really better
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and really twisted
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and so when Dina and I sat
down and talked and I realized,
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I did some homework,
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so 80-90 percent of
families end up in divorce
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'cause they just can't
handle the stress of it.
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The normal
child gets left behind
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because all the focus is
on the special needs child.
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If you do stay together,
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you normally just learn to exist
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because of your
crisis management everyday.
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All the time, you
put the fires out.
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All the time.
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Yeah, you know, I know
what adrenal fatigue is,
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your fight or
flight just doesn't stop.
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When your daughter...
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You up four, five, six,
seven, eight times at night,
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just listening
if she's breathing
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because you wonder
she's gonna spontaneously die,
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that was Dina
and I for seven years
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before we finally
gave it up to the Lord.
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Yeah, I started to
tarry and especially,
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when I realized
that, "Okay, I'm gonna...
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Here's one for you, God."
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I'm gonna be the responsible
father and husband here
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and I'm not gonna
be an entrepreneur,
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I'm not gonna build a business,
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I'm just gonna
focus on my family,
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that's my duty,
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that's my choice
and that's my desire.
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So there we go and...
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I had a plenty of money
in New Zealand, you know,
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I'll just sell a
couple of houses,
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two or three
years old, re-evaluate.
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So once you've
fixed this, I'll be fine.
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I'll fix it.
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I'll fix it. Yeah.
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Yeah, we like to fix things.
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Of course, two or
three years into it
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and we didn't
even see any response
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out of Kennedy Rose
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that show that what we
were doing was working.
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At that point, I realized
that we're in for a long haul
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and at that point,
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I realized that my
identity was rapidly changing
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and I started to
discover who I really was
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and I definitely was not planted
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in my security in Jesus.
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You know, and so I really,
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when you start to see
that all of the motives
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that I thought were good,
00:08:02.64\00:08:04.35
all of the stuff I
thought were spot on,
00:08:04.38\00:08:07.92
when God says, "Can I
show you who you actually are?
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Can I show you
your character?" Yeah.
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And He does it so
graciously but it is a shock
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and so what you're
saying is I start to see that.
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Yeah, yeah,
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I see very clearly
now that God is gentle,
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you know, and if...
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We got to be
careful what we pray for
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'cause if I asked Him,
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" A once upon a time to reveal
Himself to me as my Father,
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so that I can put my
trust and security in Him."
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Now easy words...
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Some way.
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But I gave Him permission
to really examine my life.
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Even though
scripture word says, search me.
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Oh, God, yeah.
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Search me and
God says, "Really?"
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Yeah.
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Yeah, and He's so gentle
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but it's like we have no idea
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that the things that He
has to kind of knock over
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before He can actually
get us to be real enough
00:09:03.91\00:09:07.18
to step into our own skin.
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And Dina being as
strong as she is, you know,
00:09:10.41\00:09:12.61
her quiet times are in
the middle of the night,
00:09:12.65\00:09:14.25
when I would wake
up and she's crying.
00:09:14.28\00:09:17.62
Anyway...
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And you can't
fix it. Can't fix it.
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I don't know what to do.
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I'm used to fixing things,
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I'm used to
creating an environment.
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From scratch,
something beautiful.
00:09:30.63\00:09:33.84
And...
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And I can't do
it in my own home.
00:09:35.24\00:09:36.81
And I got really,
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that was the
beginning of stripping back
00:09:38.87\00:09:40.28
the layers of my life
00:09:40.31\00:09:41.64
and it hurts,
00:09:41.68\00:09:45.88
but you get to the
point where you're in so deep,
00:09:45.91\00:09:47.52
you may as well see what
the other side looks like.
00:09:47.55\00:09:49.88
You start to lose
everything. I lost.
00:09:49.92\00:09:52.62
Damas to develop
her was going fast
00:09:52.65\00:09:55.32
and Damas that had
00:09:55.36\00:09:56.69
"All this property investments
and money in his bank"
00:09:56.73\00:09:58.73
was going,
00:09:58.76\00:10:00.10
every month, every
year, for a total of 10 years.
00:10:00.13\00:10:04.87
And went from hero to
zero in 10 years, by choice,
00:10:04.90\00:10:08.90
not by bad decisions,
not by bad investments,
00:10:08.94\00:10:12.07
it was by choice.
00:10:12.11\00:10:14.28
I believed whole heartedly
00:10:14.31\00:10:16.21
that it's my family was more
important than anything else.
00:10:16.24\00:10:19.55
Amen.
00:10:19.58\00:10:20.92
And I remember that
going through this I thought,
00:10:20.95\00:10:22.48
"Lord, I'm done.
00:10:22.52\00:10:23.85
I'm screwed.
00:10:23.89\00:10:25.22
I don't know how to
bring my family back."
00:10:25.25\00:10:27.22
Right.
00:10:27.26\00:10:28.59
"I'm doing my
best to be obedient,
00:10:28.62\00:10:30.16
it hurts like right now."
00:10:30.19\00:10:32.36
Right.
00:10:32.39\00:10:34.00
"Help, I don't even
know who I am in your eyes."
00:10:34.03\00:10:37.60
When I saw you on that day
at the parking lot at car port,
00:10:37.63\00:10:43.47
you were
everything and you said,
00:10:43.51\00:10:46.94
"If I could kill myself today,
I would be fine with that."
00:10:46.98\00:10:50.31
You were working at
what job at that time?
00:10:50.35\00:10:53.18
So when we moved
back to New Zealand,
00:10:53.21\00:10:55.18
back in...
00:10:55.22\00:10:58.42
End of 2013-14,
00:10:58.45\00:11:03.06
it was mainly
because I was developing
00:11:03.09\00:11:04.79
some health issues in Indiana.
00:11:04.83\00:11:06.33
The environment there was
getting to me and I set out,
00:11:06.36\00:11:09.16
end up pretty sick but
I said the cancer would
00:11:09.20\00:11:13.67
because of the
indicators in my body,
00:11:13.70\00:11:15.14
so they said, "Go
back to New Zealand,
00:11:15.17\00:11:16.50
your immune system can't
handle the mid-west environment,
00:11:16.54\00:11:19.54
you weren't born and bred here."
00:11:19.57\00:11:21.31
So it was the hardest decision,
00:11:21.34\00:11:23.68
to take my daughter away
from her therapy treatments
00:11:23.71\00:11:26.88
and medical support.
00:11:26.92\00:11:28.25
My son, he's been
there since the age of four.
00:11:28.28\00:11:31.52
And moved back for me,
00:11:31.55\00:11:33.42
we moved back to New
Zealand for me and my health
00:11:33.46\00:11:36.06
and I'd secured what I
thought was a really good job
00:11:36.09\00:11:38.66
where I was asked to develop
a sub-division, a community
00:11:38.69\00:11:42.53
and the "mental
health" for the government
00:11:42.56\00:11:44.73
where the philosophy was,
00:11:44.77\00:11:47.27
"It takes a
village to raise a child"
00:11:47.30\00:11:48.67
and now that really got me
00:11:48.70\00:11:50.04
because I'm like,
"Yes, it's all about family."
00:11:50.07\00:11:52.67
We moved family and then
the God changes His mind,
00:11:52.71\00:11:55.81
He says, "It's too big for
me to do right now, I'm sorry."
00:11:55.84\00:11:57.85
I said, "I just
moved my family over,
00:11:57.88\00:11:59.71
I pulled my daughter.
00:11:59.75\00:12:02.05
Whenever I've finished
with that conversation,
00:12:02.08\00:12:04.89
I thought I was low
when I came to New Zealand,
00:12:04.92\00:12:07.59
I was dead after
that conversation,
00:12:07.62\00:12:09.52
I thought I have just down..."
00:12:09.56\00:12:10.89
No money, no promises, no job.
00:12:10.93\00:12:12.69
No money, no
promises, no job, no nothing
00:12:12.73\00:12:14.36
and I've just taken
my daughter away from,
00:12:14.40\00:12:17.17
what took us
years to get to the best
00:12:17.20\00:12:20.34
therapeutic medical
support that she needed.
00:12:20.37\00:12:24.91
And the shame, the guilt
00:12:24.94\00:12:27.88
and just emotions that
I couldn't even describe,
00:12:27.91\00:12:31.55
just hit me so hard.
00:12:31.58\00:12:33.72
So John knew that
I was back in town
00:12:33.75\00:12:37.19
and I hadn't seen him for
15, 16, 18 years and of course,
00:12:37.22\00:12:42.62
he works at the Fiestum.
00:12:42.66\00:12:45.09
He's a CEO there...
00:12:45.13\00:12:46.46
Good friend,
very successful guy.
00:12:46.49\00:12:47.83
Very successful guy
and I was his first friend
00:12:47.86\00:12:52.10
when he first moved to
Oakland, when I was like 16-17.
00:12:52.13\00:12:56.24
So we've known each
other for a long time,
00:12:56.27\00:12:57.61
had some good times
00:12:57.64\00:12:58.97
and then we just didn't
see each other for ever.
00:12:59.01\00:13:00.78
He finds out I'm in New Zealand,
00:13:00.81\00:13:02.14
rings me up and says,
00:13:02.18\00:13:03.51
"Hi, I know maintenance
and stuff isn't your cup of tea
00:13:03.55\00:13:06.98
but my maintenance
guy is going on vacation,
00:13:07.02\00:13:09.88
would you end up
filling in for him for a while?
00:13:09.92\00:13:12.49
This is, I know,
00:13:12.52\00:13:13.86
that's probably insulting
to your intelligence but maybe,
00:13:13.89\00:13:16.12
it would be good
for you right now."
00:13:16.16\00:13:18.06
And I said, "I'll
take it, I'll take it."
00:13:18.09\00:13:20.50
You'll take anything.
00:13:20.53\00:13:21.86
I haven't worked
for anyone for 25 years,
00:13:21.90\00:13:26.30
it's all been about
00:13:26.33\00:13:28.87
what I've been able
to do as an entrepreneur.
00:13:28.90\00:13:30.27
Absolutely.
00:13:30.31\00:13:31.64
Outside of my apprenticeship
00:13:31.67\00:13:33.01
and a couple of
recreational things,
00:13:33.04\00:13:34.38
there's always been, me.
00:13:34.41\00:13:36.04
So I was thankful for
the job and I was just,
00:13:36.08\00:13:40.08
in a way laughing at
myself and thinking, "Wow,
00:13:40.12\00:13:43.95
I'm changing light bulbs
and I'm cleaning out toilets
00:13:43.99\00:13:46.82
and I'm mowing lawns."
00:13:46.86\00:13:51.13
And yet I was thankful,
00:13:51.16\00:13:53.33
I was actually quite
happy to be doing that
00:13:53.36\00:13:56.03
'cause I was gone
and I was so depressed
00:13:56.06\00:13:59.33
and so destroyed
from the previous meeting
00:13:59.37\00:14:01.84
that I actually
found it difficult
00:14:01.87\00:14:03.54
to even change a light bulb.
00:14:03.57\00:14:05.01
It was interesting to me...
00:14:05.04\00:14:06.71
When I met you,
00:14:06.74\00:14:08.54
when I say, it felt like I was
talking to a walking dead guy.
00:14:08.58\00:14:13.08
When I looked in your eyes
00:14:13.11\00:14:14.45
and I thought
and I just felt like,
00:14:14.48\00:14:16.55
God just stopped, it's like,
00:14:16.58\00:14:18.92
"I don't care
whose around us right now
00:14:18.95\00:14:21.29
but I literally want to
know what is up? How are you?"
00:14:21.32\00:14:25.49
And so when you
said about, you know,
00:14:25.53\00:14:28.03
that you didn't think
that you were gonna make it,
00:14:28.06\00:14:31.43
I think you even
asked me at one point,
00:14:31.47\00:14:33.70
"What does God think of
suicide and would I be saved?
00:14:33.74\00:14:37.27
I did, I asked you the question,
00:14:37.31\00:14:41.08
"Do Christians go to
heaven if they commit suicide?"
00:14:41.11\00:14:44.25
And you said, "I'm not
answering that question."
00:14:44.28\00:14:47.78
And I said, "You've already
answered it for me, thank you."
00:14:47.82\00:14:51.29
Because now you have
permission to go kill yourself.
00:14:51.32\00:14:53.05
I have permission
to go kill myself.
00:14:53.09\00:14:55.26
The only thing I could
think of at that point,
00:14:55.29\00:14:57.53
is you need to hangout with us
00:14:57.56\00:15:00.86
and I don't care how, you know,
00:15:00.90\00:15:03.03
your sister and I
were going to her place,
00:15:03.06\00:15:05.00
we have community
events one after another
00:15:05.03\00:15:07.74
and you need to get there
and she looked at you and said,
00:15:07.77\00:15:11.31
"You need to come over.
00:15:11.34\00:15:13.01
We need to schedule
some time together."
00:15:13.04\00:15:17.55
And we get in the
car and drive away,
00:15:17.58\00:15:20.88
knowing that you're gonna
come and meet with us later
00:15:20.92\00:15:23.32
but we get in the
car and drive away
00:15:23.35\00:15:24.95
and she starts to just cry.
00:15:24.99\00:15:27.66
She said, "I
brought you to the community
00:15:27.69\00:15:29.92
because there are so many people
00:15:29.96\00:15:31.89
that are struggling
and dying and hopeless
00:15:31.93\00:15:35.63
and I knew that your ministry,
00:15:35.66\00:15:37.80
what you're
offering would change lives
00:15:37.83\00:15:40.07
but I didn't think I
brought you for my own brother."
00:15:40.10\00:15:42.97
And for her it was such a...
00:15:43.00\00:15:46.57
It was that time where
00:15:46.61\00:15:48.94
I could see her
almost pleading with God,
00:15:48.98\00:15:52.51
"I can't lose my bother."
00:15:52.55\00:15:55.88
Yeah, I was there. Yeah.
00:15:55.92\00:15:57.35
I was ready and then
you had to come along.
00:15:57.39\00:16:00.36
Do you remember
00:16:03.83\00:16:05.16
coming over to the house?
00:16:05.19\00:16:07.06
Look, I remember
making it to the house.
00:16:07.10\00:16:11.23
I remember asking
you about, you know,
00:16:11.27\00:16:14.30
suicide, that's it.
00:16:14.34\00:16:17.37
You know, you said, you
could see to my eyes, you know,
00:16:17.41\00:16:19.74
there's these zombie movies
out at the moment, you know,
00:16:19.77\00:16:22.38
I totally get the zombie factor
00:16:22.41\00:16:25.28
'cause to me
that actually displays
00:16:25.31\00:16:27.02
what's actually going on
in a lot of people's heart.
00:16:27.05\00:16:28.95
We're alive but we did...
00:16:28.98\00:16:31.55
There was even...
00:16:31.59\00:16:33.76
And what was crazy, you guys,
00:16:33.79\00:16:35.76
is when he walked into the room,
00:16:35.79\00:16:37.66
there was nothing about
him that was connected with,
00:16:37.69\00:16:41.40
even what it was around him.
00:16:41.43\00:16:43.06
You know, I watched,
00:16:43.10\00:16:44.43
you have
beautiful nieces, right?
00:16:44.47\00:16:46.84
I watched them come up to
you and you could not feel them.
00:16:46.87\00:16:50.01
You know, he wasn't in the room
00:16:50.04\00:16:52.24
and the only thing
I'm thinking is this,
00:16:52.27\00:16:54.48
I believe is an
incredibly loved man of God,
00:16:54.51\00:16:59.51
that God has a plan for
00:16:59.55\00:17:00.88
and I felt that He
has a huge plan for you.
00:17:00.92\00:17:03.82
And yet, you're disappearing
and I'm praying like,
00:17:03.85\00:17:09.16
"God, what do we do?"
00:17:09.19\00:17:10.53
And I don't want to
offend anyone, but God says,
00:17:10.56\00:17:12.73
"You know what? He
needs to be anointed."
00:17:12.76\00:17:14.36
Yes. Right.
00:17:14.40\00:17:16.30
And I'm asking you,
00:17:16.33\00:17:17.67
"Do you know what anointing is?"
00:17:17.70\00:17:19.63
Oh, yeah, you anointed me, yeah.
00:17:19.67\00:17:22.40
So you had your son anointed.
00:17:22.44\00:17:23.77
Yes.
00:17:23.81\00:17:25.14
Right. Yeah.
00:17:25.17\00:17:26.51
With healing. With healing.
00:17:26.54\00:17:27.88
You had your
daughter anointed. Yeah.
00:17:27.91\00:17:29.24
And now somebody is standing
in front of you saying that
00:17:29.28\00:17:30.61
your case is as severe.
00:17:30.65\00:17:33.82
And so I'm in two minds.
00:17:33.85\00:17:35.38
Okay. Yeah.
00:17:35.42\00:17:36.75
'Cause you wanna
die. I wanted to die.
00:17:36.79\00:17:38.89
I honestly
believed that the only way
00:17:38.92\00:17:41.19
that I could
find peace in my life.
00:17:41.22\00:17:43.39
And it's not
like I wanted to die,
00:17:43.43\00:17:45.83
I had run out of every other
option that I knew of, to live.
00:17:45.86\00:17:50.97
And I actually
thought I was doing my wife,
00:17:51.00\00:17:52.37
my son, my family, everybody,
00:17:52.40\00:17:54.60
I honestly believed that I
was doing everyone a favor,
00:17:54.64\00:17:57.31
if I just put my
miserable life at end
00:17:57.34\00:18:00.18
'cause I was just a pain.
00:18:00.21\00:18:01.94
I was a waste to my family,
I actually had nothing to give
00:18:01.98\00:18:07.42
and I became
contained with that,
00:18:07.45\00:18:11.15
I figured that...
00:18:11.19\00:18:12.52
I remember at one
point grabbing your face,
00:18:12.55\00:18:14.29
"That is a lie."
00:18:14.32\00:18:17.13
And I know that
you're looking at me like,
00:18:17.16\00:18:20.03
"What do you mean?"
00:18:20.06\00:18:21.40
Yeah, yeah,
exactly. That is a lie.
00:18:21.43\00:18:22.76
I couldn't comprehend that.
00:18:22.80\00:18:24.13
You are a man of
God, God is not done,
00:18:24.17\00:18:27.74
you need to come back,
00:18:27.77\00:18:29.67
you need to get
back in the game.
00:18:29.70\00:18:31.97
You need to find or allow Him
00:18:32.01\00:18:34.24
to really speak
hope into your life
00:18:34.28\00:18:36.78
and when we did the anointing,
00:18:36.81\00:18:38.15
what was amazing to me
00:18:38.18\00:18:39.51
'cause I know that
you were just like,
00:18:39.55\00:18:41.42
"I don't even know."
00:18:41.45\00:18:42.78
We do the anointing
and I think God Himself
00:18:42.82\00:18:45.32
gave just the
words of who you are
00:18:45.35\00:18:48.92
and that He hasn't,
00:18:48.96\00:18:50.29
He sees you and He
knows what is happening
00:18:50.33\00:18:53.29
and He feels that pain with you
00:18:53.33\00:18:55.40
and praying and as
you walked away, for me,
00:18:55.43\00:19:01.97
God is saying,
"Thank you, thank you."
00:19:02.00\00:19:06.74
And that was 18 months ago.
00:19:06.78\00:19:09.28
That was. Right.
00:19:09.31\00:19:10.65
So 18 months
ago... 18 months ago.
00:19:10.68\00:19:12.21
What's happened in
the last 18 months?
00:19:12.25\00:19:14.28
Wow.
00:19:14.32\00:19:16.35
You know...
00:19:16.38\00:19:17.72
Are you ready? Okay.
00:19:17.75\00:19:19.35
'Cause, you know, I'd
love to say somebody says,
00:19:19.39\00:19:21.39
"Oh, that was 10 years
ago, that was 18 months ago."
00:19:21.42\00:19:23.89
This was 18 months.
00:19:23.93\00:19:25.26
I am in awe to think that
18 months isn't a long time,
00:19:25.29\00:19:29.16
especially with where I was at
00:19:29.20\00:19:31.93
and so after you anointed me
00:19:31.97\00:19:34.54
and I was full
of sarcasm and like,
00:19:34.57\00:19:37.01
"Yeah, whatever, God has
a plan for my life, yeah."
00:19:37.04\00:19:40.38
From that, I was then
invited to go and check out
00:19:40.41\00:19:43.68
a parent child camp
in Northern California
00:19:43.71\00:19:48.85
and I thought,
00:19:48.88\00:19:50.22
"Great, I'm gonna spend some,
00:19:50.25\00:19:51.85
I will get the courage to
spend some time with my son
00:19:51.89\00:19:54.92
and if I can't get pass this,
00:19:54.96\00:19:58.69
after Cheri's
anointing, you know,
00:19:58.73\00:20:00.66
being this
wonderful vessel of God,
00:20:00.70\00:20:03.33
then we'll see."
00:20:03.37\00:20:05.03
And so I actually went
to this camp as a guest,
00:20:05.07\00:20:07.07
now I've never been a
guest at a camp, in 25 years.
00:20:07.10\00:20:10.24
I've always been
on the other side
00:20:10.27\00:20:11.71
providing the environment
for people to find Jesus.
00:20:11.74\00:20:14.54
You know, and
so, very unique to me
00:20:14.58\00:20:17.71
and I went there with an agenda.
00:20:17.75\00:20:19.91
I know Camp Ministries,
00:20:19.95\00:20:21.28
I know everything that goes
on and I'm gonna bust this one.
00:20:21.32\00:20:23.45
Right.
00:20:23.49\00:20:24.82
I am gonna bust God
00:20:24.85\00:20:26.55
and everyday
that I did something,
00:20:26.59\00:20:29.29
I'm not one of these people
00:20:29.32\00:20:31.09
that got zapped by
the Holy Spirit and go,
00:20:31.13\00:20:33.46
"Hey, victory."
00:20:33.50\00:20:34.83
I wish I was.
00:20:34.86\00:20:36.20
Right. I wasn't.
00:20:36.23\00:20:37.57
It was transformational.
00:20:37.60\00:20:38.93
Everyday something happened
00:20:38.97\00:20:40.87
and as I'm doing
high ropes with my son
00:20:40.90\00:20:43.27
and stuff and where
they're working to build,
00:20:43.30\00:20:45.01
to work as a team,
00:20:45.04\00:20:46.37
it's about
challenging relationships.
00:20:46.41\00:20:47.74
Right, as you're
connecting with Him.
00:20:47.78\00:20:49.31
As we're connecting with Him,
He got me through a challenge
00:20:49.34\00:20:51.38
when I says, "I
can't do anymore, son."
00:20:51.41\00:20:52.85
He poured himself
out and this is where
00:20:52.88\00:20:55.28
the parent became the child
00:20:55.32\00:20:56.75
and the child became the parent.
00:20:56.79\00:20:58.42
And he says, "Dad, I
believe in you, you can do this.
00:20:58.45\00:21:01.59
I know you can." I'm like...
00:21:01.62\00:21:02.96
I love that, are you kidding me?
00:21:02.99\00:21:04.46
My son, I'm like,
00:21:04.49\00:21:05.83
this is my cool, calm
and collected phlegmatic son,
00:21:05.86\00:21:08.00
you know, he
just cruises in life,
00:21:08.03\00:21:09.36
'cause that's the way
he handles special needs,
00:21:09.40\00:21:11.23
you know, and he's like excited,
00:21:11.27\00:21:12.73
"You can do
that, you're so close."
00:21:12.77\00:21:14.67
We ended up being one
of three parent childs
00:21:14.70\00:21:17.87
at that summer to
make it to the end.
00:21:17.91\00:21:20.18
And I was
exhausted and you know what?
00:21:20.21\00:21:21.71
Something
happened inside my brain.
00:21:21.74\00:21:25.21
Whatever it was,
00:21:25.25\00:21:26.58
it actually let me know
that I was truly valued...
00:21:26.61\00:21:29.28
That I was truly loved...
00:21:29.32\00:21:30.65
But you're not done yet.
00:21:30.69\00:21:32.02
And I'm not done yet
00:21:32.05\00:21:33.39
and my son saw
something in me that I didn't.
00:21:33.42\00:21:35.82
So that was the anointing
and then this experience,
00:21:35.86\00:21:38.53
it was an unleashing,
00:21:38.56\00:21:40.20
it was, it's time to come
out of the closet, so to speak.
00:21:40.23\00:21:43.40
And my journey has gone
from strength to strength
00:21:43.43\00:21:47.94
ever since then,
00:21:47.97\00:21:49.30
I now know that my
identity is I truly believe
00:21:49.34\00:21:54.78
and I'm convicted that I am
the son of the high living God.
00:21:54.81\00:21:58.01
And that Jesus is
not only my Savior,
00:21:58.05\00:21:59.81
He's my big brother.
00:21:59.85\00:22:01.18
Amen.
00:22:01.22\00:22:02.55
As a consequence of
that, my life has gone,
00:22:02.58\00:22:05.99
I hate in so many
different ways that...
00:22:06.02\00:22:08.36
I saw and I've gotta say,
00:22:08.39\00:22:09.72
I saw you even
switch seats with God,
00:22:09.76\00:22:12.16
it's like, I was
driving my whole life,
00:22:12.19\00:22:15.20
I'm gonna switch seats
with you and let you drive.
00:22:15.23\00:22:17.57
You know, that's the deception,
00:22:17.60\00:22:19.00
you know, there's
a ministry in that
00:22:19.03\00:22:21.47
because we are actually
00:22:21.50\00:22:22.97
very good at
justifying our actions
00:22:23.00\00:22:25.97
and actually we
genuinely believe
00:22:26.01\00:22:27.54
that where we are at,
00:22:27.58\00:22:28.91
in our
relationship with God and,
00:22:28.94\00:22:30.28
you know, for a lot of
us, we're okay, we're at.
00:22:30.31\00:22:33.75
In my particular case,
00:22:33.78\00:22:35.75
I wore the mask so well
00:22:35.78\00:22:38.55
that I actually formed around it
00:22:38.59\00:22:41.42
and when I realized,
00:22:41.46\00:22:44.03
when I was
stripped of everything
00:22:44.06\00:22:45.69
and when you saw me,
00:22:45.73\00:22:47.06
I was not only stripped, I
was actually, dug my grave,
00:22:47.10\00:22:49.46
I was ready to jump in it.
00:22:49.50\00:22:50.83
Absolutely.
00:22:50.87\00:22:52.33
So I now have an
appreciation for mental illness,
00:22:52.37\00:22:54.90
I totally get people
that suffer from depression.
00:22:54.94\00:22:56.94
And...
00:22:56.97\00:22:58.54
They really truly believe
that suicide is a option.
00:22:58.57\00:23:01.51
Yeah, yes.
00:23:01.54\00:23:02.88
And float with
that. Yes, float with it.
00:23:02.91\00:23:04.48
Find comfort in
that. Yeah, yeah.
00:23:04.51\00:23:06.58
And so now, to be
on the other side,
00:23:06.61\00:23:08.88
to know that my
identity is in Christ,
00:23:08.92\00:23:10.89
that my identity
is in my Father God,
00:23:10.92\00:23:13.22
that I am part of
the royal kingdom.
00:23:13.25\00:23:16.56
That's not just a theory to me,
00:23:16.59\00:23:18.16
that's not just something
that I read in the Bible,
00:23:18.19\00:23:20.36
you know, it's
not something that
00:23:20.40\00:23:21.73
I read in the
inspired Word of God,
00:23:21.76\00:23:23.10
I am that person...
00:23:23.13\00:23:24.73
You know that.
00:23:24.77\00:23:26.10
I feel it, I sense it in the way
00:23:26.13\00:23:28.14
that God is leading in my life.
00:23:28.17\00:23:31.17
For example, 18
months down the track
00:23:31.21\00:23:34.31
and there are three
of us, families, okay?
00:23:34.34\00:23:37.21
So, you know,
Steve, Natalie and Davis.
00:23:37.25\00:23:38.61
Right. Yeah.
00:23:38.65\00:23:39.98
And, you know Connie...
00:23:40.02\00:23:41.35
Three families that
so believe in family,
00:23:41.38\00:23:44.09
believe in healing...
00:23:44.12\00:23:45.45
Believe in God,
they wanted to be real,
00:23:45.49\00:23:47.66
they're not
satisfied with the superficial.
00:23:47.69\00:23:50.59
No, no, and of course,
00:23:50.63\00:23:52.83
John and Debbie Marshall,
00:23:52.86\00:23:54.43
the three
families, we've got together
00:23:54.46\00:23:56.30
and there was an
opportunity to purchase
00:23:56.33\00:23:59.93
a property and it's...
00:23:59.97\00:24:02.77
I think I can
share this with you
00:24:02.80\00:24:04.14
for the sake of
showing how good God is.
00:24:04.17\00:24:06.51
And He's God through
00:24:06.54\00:24:07.88
the good times
and the bad times,
00:24:07.91\00:24:09.24
He's good.
00:24:09.28\00:24:10.61
So even before you say that,
00:24:10.65\00:24:11.98
I just want anybody
to picture New Zealand.
00:24:12.01\00:24:15.75
Picture this beautiful
place with beautiful beaches
00:24:15.78\00:24:20.99
and land and all
that kind of stuff
00:24:21.02\00:24:22.99
and you have a opportunity
00:24:23.02\00:24:24.49
to now do whatever is that you
00:24:24.53\00:24:25.99
wanted to do in
the superficial...
00:24:26.03\00:24:28.20
Yes.
00:24:28.23\00:24:29.56
You can do it in
reality now. Yes, yeah.
00:24:29.60\00:24:31.77
Connected with God
and so what happens?
00:24:31.80\00:24:34.30
So what happens?
00:24:34.34\00:24:35.70
First of all, back
track, get back from America,
00:24:35.74\00:24:38.37
then we had five minutes,
00:24:38.41\00:24:40.01
five months to
implement the first ever a,
00:24:40.04\00:24:42.41
parent child
Christian camp in New Zealand,
00:24:42.44\00:24:45.88
it went down flawlessly.
00:24:45.91\00:24:47.88
And we had CEOs,
00:24:47.92\00:24:49.65
like the CEO of New Zealand
00:24:49.68\00:24:51.02
and other big companies,
00:24:51.05\00:24:52.39
down through the President
00:24:52.42\00:24:53.76
of one of the
biggest gangs in New Zealand.
00:24:53.79\00:24:56.29
Amen. The Black Power.
00:24:56.32\00:24:58.06
And so if you
wanna put it this way,
00:24:58.09\00:25:00.53
I know we're all
probably vegetarians here
00:25:00.56\00:25:02.06
but I'm gonna
use a meat and thing.
00:25:02.10\00:25:03.57
So if you're filet
mignon or if you're a lamb chop
00:25:03.60\00:25:06.07
or if you're a New York
strip or whatever you are,
00:25:06.10\00:25:10.21
you go into the grinder
00:25:10.24\00:25:11.87
and everybody
comes out as hamburger.
00:25:11.91\00:25:13.68
Yeah. We're all equal.
00:25:13.71\00:25:15.04
Because everybody
that come to this,
00:25:15.08\00:25:16.64
they all had
one thing in common,
00:25:16.68\00:25:18.01
they wanted to
beat a relationship
00:25:18.05\00:25:19.38
with their children.
00:25:19.41\00:25:20.75
So we're gonna break right now
'cause I'm gonna break a way,
00:25:20.78\00:25:23.35
we're gonna
comeback in for a close
00:25:23.39\00:25:24.79
because you gotta hear this,
00:25:24.82\00:25:26.89
absolutely amazing,
00:25:26.92\00:25:29.09
how God turns it around
and He can't turn it around
00:25:29.12\00:25:31.49
unless we get it
and we finally say,
00:25:31.53\00:25:34.40
"Okay, I
surrender, I will trust you."
00:25:34.43\00:25:37.83
We'll be right back.
00:25:37.87\00:25:39.20