The following program discusses sensitive issues 00:00:01.36\00:00:03.33 related to addictive behaviour. 00:00:03.37\00:00:05.03 Parents are cautioned that some material 00:00:05.07\00:00:06.80 may be too candid for younger children. 00:00:06.84\00:00:11.31 When I met Timmy and Richie Brower, 00:00:11.34\00:00:13.94 I heard them say that their relationship was hemorrhaging 00:00:13.98\00:00:16.95 that they were bleeding to death, 00:00:16.98\00:00:18.75 and it caught my attention 00:00:18.78\00:00:20.12 because I knew what that felt like. 00:00:20.15\00:00:21.98 You're gonna love these next guests 00:00:22.02\00:00:23.89 and you're gonna love their healing, 00:00:23.92\00:00:25.72 it was amazing. 00:00:25.75\00:00:27.69 Welcome to Celebrating Life in Recovery. 00:00:27.72\00:00:29.46 I'm Cheri, your host, 00:00:29.49\00:00:31.03 and I just can't wait 00:00:31.06\00:00:33.76 to introduce you to my friends. 00:00:33.80\00:00:35.80 Come join us on the cafe. 00:00:35.83\00:00:37.17 Welcome. 00:01:01.89\00:01:03.22 Today we're gonna be talking about relationships, 00:01:03.26\00:01:05.09 marriage connection and somebody says, 00:01:05.13\00:01:08.00 "Why do we need to talk about that?" 00:01:08.03\00:01:09.63 Just look around you, because I really, 00:01:09.66\00:01:11.83 when I first came into the church 00:01:11.87\00:01:13.20 what I realized is that 00:01:13.23\00:01:15.17 I don't know if a lot of us really know 00:01:15.20\00:01:18.17 how to be ourselves, be in our own skin, 00:01:18.21\00:01:22.31 and then really step into relationship. 00:01:22.34\00:01:24.91 And as I started to learn that, 00:01:24.95\00:01:26.98 even with Brad and I. 00:01:27.02\00:01:28.35 And you've met my husband, he's adorable. 00:01:28.38\00:01:31.15 But, man, we had to go through a ton of stuff, 00:01:31.19\00:01:34.26 so I'm going to introduce you to our guest 00:01:34.29\00:01:36.06 right out of the gate 00:01:36.09\00:01:38.23 because I want to give them a lot of time 00:01:38.26\00:01:40.80 to share with you who they are 00:01:40.83\00:01:43.57 and what they learned about relationships. 00:01:43.60\00:01:45.97 So Richie Brower, Timmy, 00:01:46.00\00:01:48.04 and you have a ministry of your own that you do 00:01:48.07\00:01:52.01 and what's that called? 00:01:52.04\00:01:53.38 It's called Marriage Conversion, 00:01:53.41\00:01:54.74 and we travel and do seminars in churches 00:01:54.78\00:01:57.85 and events across North America. 00:01:57.88\00:02:00.22 And then we have online sites, websites 00:02:00.25\00:02:02.58 that we have where people can come and watch training videos. 00:02:02.62\00:02:06.39 We do live webinars and different things like that, 00:02:06.42\00:02:08.46 all supporting people in getting tools 00:02:08.49\00:02:11.69 to strengthen their marriages. 00:02:11.73\00:02:13.09 That's awesome. 00:02:13.13\00:02:14.46 Is that because you've always been such an expert? 00:02:14.50\00:02:17.57 Absolutely. 00:02:17.60\00:02:19.93 'Cause I heard you speak. 00:02:19.97\00:02:21.30 I'm thinking that sounded so good, 00:02:21.34\00:02:22.94 but you know what? 00:02:22.97\00:02:24.57 I want to know, 00:02:24.61\00:02:26.14 we're gonna do a couple of programs with you guys, 00:02:26.17\00:02:28.18 but I want to know, Richie, 00:02:28.21\00:02:30.15 where did you come from 00:02:30.18\00:02:31.51 and how were you when you stepped into relationship? 00:02:31.55\00:02:34.88 Oh, mercy. 00:02:34.92\00:02:36.25 Well, where I come from. 00:02:36.28\00:02:37.62 I was an expert in marriage by the time I was 13. 00:02:37.65\00:02:40.52 I had read 13 books 00:02:40.56\00:02:42.36 on the topic of marriage and courtship 00:02:42.39\00:02:44.43 by the time I was 13 years old. 00:02:44.46\00:02:45.79 Why? 00:02:45.83\00:02:47.16 Because of where I come from. Okay. 00:02:47.20\00:02:48.86 So I come from a family, 00:02:48.90\00:02:50.80 it was a church attending family, 00:02:50.83\00:02:53.77 but my home was a home of tremendous chaos, 00:02:53.80\00:02:57.41 literally, 00:02:57.44\00:02:58.77 if you walked into your house 00:02:58.81\00:03:00.14 which no one was allowed to when I was a kid, 00:03:00.18\00:03:02.11 but if you did walk into our house, 00:03:02.14\00:03:03.48 you would have seen the house 00:03:03.51\00:03:04.85 that was literally full of trash, 00:03:04.88\00:03:07.38 mounds of garbage everywhere, magazines, books, 00:03:07.42\00:03:10.05 wrappers whatever. 00:03:10.09\00:03:11.42 And there were aisles through the garbage... 00:03:11.45\00:03:13.15 So actually from a hoarding family. 00:03:13.19\00:03:15.69 Yeah, just piles of stuff. 00:03:15.72\00:03:18.96 And there was aisles through the garbage, 00:03:18.99\00:03:20.63 but if you want to sit on a chair, 00:03:20.66\00:03:22.13 you'd have to follow the aisle through the trash 00:03:22.16\00:03:24.30 and then pick up a stack of magazines 00:03:24.33\00:03:25.67 or something on the chair and set it aside. 00:03:25.70\00:03:27.97 There was dishes in the sink. 00:03:28.00\00:03:29.34 They were always dirty. 00:03:29.37\00:03:31.41 There was never, would not never rarely 00:03:31.44\00:03:34.24 a warm meal on the table as a kid, 00:03:34.28\00:03:37.05 and so literally for me growing up, you know, 00:03:37.08\00:03:41.28 I wake up in the morning 00:03:41.32\00:03:42.92 and I had a cousin of my age 00:03:42.95\00:03:44.35 who was living in our home with us at the time, 00:03:44.39\00:03:46.29 and my daddy gone to work 00:03:46.32\00:03:47.92 and he would have made breakfast, 00:03:47.96\00:03:49.62 but he made an hour ago and it was oatmeal, 00:03:49.66\00:03:51.43 so by the time we got there, it's anything but appealing. 00:03:51.46\00:03:54.73 So food became a really big deal to me 00:03:54.76\00:03:57.57 because we didn't have it, so that was part of the chaos. 00:03:57.60\00:04:01.50 The other part of the chaos is that my family, 00:04:01.54\00:04:04.21 my parents, their marriage was in chaos, 00:04:04.24\00:04:07.14 and a lot of tension and strife. 00:04:07.18\00:04:09.38 And sometimes that would come out in conflict. 00:04:09.41\00:04:11.95 And so there was times 00:04:11.98\00:04:13.45 when things were thrown at each other in my presence 00:04:13.48\00:04:15.92 as a kid seeing that 00:04:15.95\00:04:18.12 domestic violence happening there, 00:04:18.15\00:04:19.79 and probably some of the most profound impact on my heart 00:04:19.82\00:04:25.09 as a kid came from how those fights would end 00:04:25.13\00:04:28.13 in the way the fight ended between my parents 00:04:28.16\00:04:31.13 would be with my mom 00:04:31.17\00:04:32.50 storming out the door and saying, 00:04:32.53\00:04:34.07 "I'm just gonna go kill myself." 00:04:34.10\00:04:36.24 And then she'd get in the car... 00:04:36.27\00:04:37.61 Were you only kid, only child? 00:04:37.64\00:04:39.01 I'm one of three, 00:04:39.04\00:04:40.88 but I'm ten years younger than my nearest sibling, 00:04:40.91\00:04:43.11 so my siblings had gone away to boarding school 00:04:43.14\00:04:45.61 and so it was me, and I had a cousin 00:04:45.65\00:04:47.68 who she'd come to live with us for several years. 00:04:47.72\00:04:49.48 She was nine months younger than me, 00:04:49.52\00:04:51.19 so there was two of us and then it was just me 00:04:51.22\00:04:52.99 when she went back to her mom. 00:04:53.02\00:04:55.22 So my mom would make this statement, 00:04:55.26\00:04:57.93 this threat and she went out the door 00:04:57.96\00:04:59.93 and I don't remember this, 00:04:59.96\00:05:01.73 but my big sister said, 00:05:01.76\00:05:03.10 "She'd be gone sometimes for ten days." 00:05:03.13\00:05:05.60 She just go camping. 00:05:05.63\00:05:06.97 And have no idea did she kill herself? 00:05:07.00\00:05:08.94 Is she alive? 00:05:08.97\00:05:10.31 Is she coming back? Right. 00:05:10.34\00:05:11.67 This is before cell phones, so there's no way to reach her, 00:05:11.71\00:05:14.18 she just disappeared. 00:05:14.21\00:05:15.64 And so as a boy, 00:05:15.68\00:05:17.55 I had a reoccurring nightmare and it's interesting, 00:05:17.58\00:05:20.25 the nightmare was, 00:05:20.28\00:05:21.98 it was a night time along the county road near our home, 00:05:22.02\00:05:25.65 and I would have this dream of my dad ironically, 00:05:25.69\00:05:28.82 my dad stepping out in front of a full sized semi truck 00:05:28.86\00:05:32.63 in the dark and being hit. 00:05:32.66\00:05:34.53 And so there was just incredible chaos 00:05:34.56\00:05:37.27 and so as a boy that... 00:05:37.30\00:05:39.97 I can't imagine, I just have to say Richie, 00:05:40.00\00:05:41.94 I can't imagine that when you said, 00:05:41.97\00:05:44.37 I grabbed 'cause when you said, 00:05:44.41\00:05:46.31 I read all these books before I was 13, 00:05:46.34\00:05:48.44 I thought who, 00:05:48.48\00:05:49.81 no 13 year old reads all this stuff is that 00:05:49.84\00:05:51.78 you were trying to make sense in any way, 00:05:51.81\00:05:54.22 can someone give me some information 00:05:54.25\00:05:56.32 because I'm not going to survive. 00:05:56.35\00:05:58.62 That's right, yeah. 00:05:58.65\00:06:00.26 So there was just the sense of... 00:06:00.29\00:06:03.56 I don't know if I'm going to make it and I made. 00:06:03.59\00:06:05.76 My parents divorced when I was eight and a half, 00:06:05.79\00:06:08.26 and in many ways that was a relief. 00:06:08.30\00:06:10.07 I would have told you as a kid, it's better. 00:06:10.10\00:06:13.00 And so, 00:06:13.03\00:06:14.94 they decided that 00:06:14.97\00:06:16.30 they didn't want to drag me through a custody battle. 00:06:16.34\00:06:18.67 So I remember we lived in a home 00:06:18.71\00:06:20.28 where there was a wall part way down the stairs 00:06:20.31\00:06:23.61 of the two story home and I live, 00:06:23.65\00:06:25.05 my room was upstairs 00:06:25.08\00:06:26.41 and there's a wall that came part way down 00:06:26.45\00:06:28.18 and then the rest was open the living room. 00:06:28.22\00:06:30.02 And one night I heard them talking downstairs, 00:06:30.05\00:06:32.45 I wasn't asleep yet. 00:06:32.49\00:06:33.89 And I snuck down the stairs so I was behind that wall 00:06:33.92\00:06:37.73 and I'm listening to my parents 00:06:37.76\00:06:39.33 planning their divorce and they made a decision, 00:06:39.36\00:06:42.70 they didn't want to have a custody battle... 00:06:42.73\00:06:44.20 And no one had talked to you yet. 00:06:44.23\00:06:45.60 No, no one had talked to me. 00:06:45.63\00:06:46.97 So they're planning their divorce and they said, 00:06:47.00\00:06:49.74 "We don't want to have a custody battle, 00:06:49.77\00:06:51.11 so let's just ask Richie who he wants to live with." 00:06:51.14\00:06:53.51 I was eight and a half. 00:06:53.54\00:06:54.98 So that's what happened. 00:06:55.01\00:06:56.38 My mom took me to ice cream, went to Dairy Queen... 00:06:56.41\00:06:59.28 No way, you're talking eight years old 00:06:59.31\00:07:01.75 and in with ice cream in front of you, 00:07:01.78\00:07:04.05 somebody's trying to say, 00:07:04.09\00:07:05.75 do you love me or your dad more. 00:07:05.79\00:07:07.56 I mean because basically that's what 00:07:07.59\00:07:08.92 an eight year old is going to hear. 00:07:08.96\00:07:10.29 Right. 00:07:10.33\00:07:11.66 So an amazing thing happened, 00:07:11.69\00:07:13.03 this was one of the first instances 00:07:13.06\00:07:14.40 looking back on my life where I say, 00:07:14.43\00:07:15.76 God just showed up right there. 00:07:15.80\00:07:17.13 We're sitting in our little Volkswagen buggy 00:07:17.17\00:07:18.90 outside Dairy Queen 00:07:18.93\00:07:20.44 and I looked at my mom and I said, 00:07:20.47\00:07:22.94 "I want to live with dad." 00:07:22.97\00:07:25.31 There's no way that I don't know 00:07:25.34\00:07:27.64 how I came to that conclusion, 00:07:27.68\00:07:29.18 but it was absolutely the right decision. 00:07:29.21\00:07:31.58 I love both my parents 00:07:31.61\00:07:32.95 but my dad was the healthier of the two 00:07:32.98\00:07:35.22 at that point in their lives. 00:07:35.25\00:07:36.82 Because even with the hoarding 00:07:36.85\00:07:38.19 when you talk about all of the chaos 00:07:38.22\00:07:39.59 and all of the hoarding and the suicidal stop, 00:07:39.62\00:07:42.12 you saw that primarily from mom. 00:07:42.16\00:07:44.43 Dad would go to work, he would come back, 00:07:44.46\00:07:47.26 he was there for you more healthier. 00:07:47.30\00:07:51.43 Hard to say that anybody was really there 00:07:51.47\00:07:53.37 for any of us kids. 00:07:53.40\00:07:54.90 He had his own stuff going but he was healthier, 00:07:54.94\00:07:58.11 he was more balanced I guess at that point. 00:07:58.14\00:08:00.64 So there was, 00:08:00.68\00:08:02.01 there was other things going on with dad 00:08:02.04\00:08:03.68 that those would surface later when I was an adult but, 00:08:03.71\00:08:07.12 so eight and a half, mom and dad divorced, 00:08:07.15\00:08:09.88 and now it's dad and I. 00:08:09.92\00:08:12.62 And so now I would come home from school, you know, 00:08:12.65\00:08:17.03 and my dad was selling Christian books door to door 00:08:17.06\00:08:20.46 and so he worked until 9:30, 10 o'clock at night 00:08:20.50\00:08:22.73 and I get home from school at 3:30, 4 o'clock. 00:08:22.76\00:08:26.03 And so the difference the time in between was time 00:08:26.07\00:08:28.37 that I was a latchkey kid, let myself in, 00:08:28.40\00:08:31.24 I'd cook supper for myself or if I, you know, 00:08:31.27\00:08:33.78 I had a wide repertoire, I could make toast. 00:08:33.81\00:08:36.91 Graham crackers and milk and I think mac and cheese. 00:08:36.95\00:08:40.22 So those were my options 00:08:40.25\00:08:41.95 and so that's what life looks like 00:08:41.98\00:08:44.85 until through sixth grade I lived with my dad 00:08:44.89\00:08:48.99 and was that was kind of how things went 00:08:49.02\00:08:50.73 through most of that time. 00:08:50.76\00:08:52.09 Did you realize at that time, Richie, 00:08:52.13\00:08:53.90 that you really learned to rely on yourself only? 00:08:53.93\00:08:57.80 No, I had no clue. Yeah. 00:08:57.83\00:08:59.53 You know as I became an adult 00:08:59.57\00:09:03.30 and started actually taking a look at my own story 00:09:03.34\00:09:05.14 in a way that I hadn't prior to that, 00:09:05.17\00:09:07.51 I realized that I actually made a vow, 00:09:07.54\00:09:10.41 not a conscious about it but I made a vow, 00:09:10.45\00:09:12.48 I will never be dependent on anyone but myself. 00:09:12.51\00:09:15.95 Exactly. 00:09:15.98\00:09:17.32 And I didn't realize I made that vow but I had, 00:09:17.35\00:09:19.19 and that's a tough vow to live with 00:09:19.22\00:09:21.69 especially when you end up choosing to be a pastor, 00:09:21.72\00:09:24.43 and you've made a vow to trust no one 00:09:24.46\00:09:26.36 which of course has to include God. 00:09:26.39\00:09:29.30 And so that, 00:09:29.33\00:09:30.67 that started having all kinds of implications 00:09:30.70\00:09:33.07 when I met this girl and we got married. 00:09:33.10\00:09:34.54 So how did you... 00:09:34.57\00:09:35.90 And so, Timmy, even hearing this story, 00:09:35.94\00:09:39.07 you're hearing this story, 00:09:39.11\00:09:41.21 for me it must still make you feel like, 00:09:41.24\00:09:45.21 "Man, I'm sorry for what you went through." 00:09:45.25\00:09:49.22 You bet, specially, you know, we have, 00:09:49.25\00:09:50.59 we have three little boys 00:09:50.62\00:09:51.95 and as I think of any of them 00:09:51.99\00:09:54.52 in even just one of those segments of his life, 00:09:54.56\00:09:57.33 let alone all of it, it's absolutely heartbreaking, 00:09:57.36\00:10:00.26 because I know that they couldn't handle it. 00:10:00.30\00:10:03.40 And I'm so grateful that they couldn't. 00:10:03.43\00:10:05.53 They're not supposed to... 00:10:05.57\00:10:06.90 Exactly, they're not supposed to 00:10:06.94\00:10:08.34 and it is both... 00:10:08.37\00:10:10.54 It's a testimony to God in Richie's life 00:10:10.57\00:10:12.94 that he is where he is now. 00:10:12.97\00:10:14.88 So how did you guys meet? 00:10:14.91\00:10:16.54 Usually how did you decide pastoral work, I mean. 00:10:16.58\00:10:19.51 Oh, well, you know, 00:10:19.55\00:10:21.12 I read those 13 books on marriage. 00:10:21.15\00:10:24.92 By 13. 00:10:24.95\00:10:26.29 By 13, yeah, you know, I actually... 00:10:26.32\00:10:29.19 because my dad worked for the church 00:10:29.22\00:10:30.73 selling Christian books and stuff. 00:10:30.76\00:10:32.09 I watched how that worked for him 00:10:32.13\00:10:33.46 and I made another vow, 00:10:33.50\00:10:34.83 "I'll never work for the church," 00:10:34.86\00:10:36.63 was another vow, 00:10:36.67\00:10:38.00 I said, "No way no how." 00:10:38.03\00:10:39.37 But as I entered into junior high and high school, 00:10:39.40\00:10:43.61 I had the ability to talk 00:10:43.64\00:10:45.64 and people see that in young people they say, 00:10:45.67\00:10:48.14 "Oh, you want to be a pastor." 00:10:48.18\00:10:49.61 And I said, "No way." 00:10:49.64\00:10:53.08 But there came a day 00:10:53.11\00:10:54.85 after working at summer camp for a lot of years. 00:10:54.88\00:10:57.62 I love summer camp, I thought I can do that 00:10:57.65\00:10:59.65 and that was fun. 00:10:59.69\00:11:01.02 So working at campus staff, 00:11:01.06\00:11:02.66 there came a day on a beach in Australia, 00:11:02.69\00:11:06.29 where I was with one of my mentors and heroes. 00:11:06.33\00:11:09.43 We were on a tour, 00:11:09.46\00:11:10.80 he was speaking for youth invents and stuff 00:11:10.83\00:11:12.40 and we were doing drama. 00:11:12.43\00:11:13.97 And on that beach 00:11:14.00\00:11:16.67 he looked at me one night after the program 00:11:16.71\00:11:18.27 for the youth had finished there on the beach in Australia 00:11:18.31\00:11:19.94 and he said, "You know, 00:11:19.97\00:11:21.31 we could really use people like you in the ministry." 00:11:21.34\00:11:23.28 And that was the beginning and God used other men 00:11:23.31\00:11:26.75 that I love and respect to speak into my life and said, 00:11:26.78\00:11:30.29 "This is your call." 00:11:30.32\00:11:31.65 So I was a business major and college 00:11:31.69\00:11:34.26 and felt like God said, 00:11:34.29\00:11:36.39 "No, I want you to go and become pastor." 00:11:36.42\00:11:37.76 So I really and I don't want to spend too much time on this 00:11:37.79\00:11:40.63 because I know that, you know, 00:11:40.66\00:11:43.06 what we're going to discuss today. 00:11:43.10\00:11:45.00 But you said something that I think is crucial 00:11:45.03\00:11:47.87 for the church to hear is that 00:11:47.90\00:11:49.74 you had men that spoke into your life, 00:11:49.77\00:11:52.04 you had mentors along the way. 00:11:52.07\00:11:54.01 You're from this crazy home when you shut the door, 00:11:54.04\00:11:57.88 life is way different 00:11:57.91\00:11:59.25 but someone saw something in you 00:11:59.28\00:12:00.75 and gave you that time. 00:12:00.78\00:12:02.68 Yeah, and that's part of the gift 00:12:02.72\00:12:04.19 that God has given me through the church is that 00:12:04.22\00:12:07.26 there's been multiple people, men and women, 00:12:07.29\00:12:09.46 I adopted moms, I adopted men, 00:12:09.49\00:12:12.19 I never, I didn't call most of them dad, 00:12:12.23\00:12:14.16 but I've adopted people who just spoke into my life 00:12:14.20\00:12:17.80 in different seasons 00:12:17.83\00:12:19.17 and part of where the corner was turned in Richie's life 00:12:19.20\00:12:23.14 was when the parents of my best friend 00:12:23.17\00:12:26.07 first through third grade, my best friend. 00:12:26.11\00:12:28.24 His parents they agreed to take me into their home 00:12:28.28\00:12:33.01 starting with the summer after my sixth grade year. 00:12:33.05\00:12:35.65 So I went to visit for the summer 00:12:35.68\00:12:37.49 and I end up staying that became my home. 00:12:37.52\00:12:39.72 And I adopted them, they adopted me 00:12:39.75\00:12:41.39 and I called them mom and dad to this day 00:12:41.42\00:12:43.59 and they call me their other son. 00:12:43.63\00:12:45.19 And so somebody is now saying let me make dinner for you. 00:12:45.23\00:12:48.36 Yeah. 00:12:48.40\00:12:49.73 You know, this is not your job, 00:12:49.76\00:12:51.23 go play, do your homework. 00:12:51.27\00:12:53.37 Do your chores. 00:12:53.40\00:12:55.77 Clean your room. 00:12:55.80\00:12:57.14 All the things that you... 00:12:57.17\00:12:58.51 and I loved it, I had boundaries 00:12:58.54\00:13:00.44 and also my life starts to take shape and substance 00:13:00.48\00:13:04.35 and so I read these 13 books on relationship. 00:13:04.38\00:13:06.51 And now my adopted mom says, 00:13:06.55\00:13:09.18 "Hey, why don't come sit with me on the bed 00:13:09.22\00:13:11.42 and we're going to talk about," 00:13:11.45\00:13:12.79 and she opens this book to me on Characters 00:13:12.82\00:13:14.76 and Personalities. 00:13:14.79\00:13:16.12 First time I ever heard about cleric, 00:13:16.16\00:13:17.76 phlegmatic all those kind of things, 00:13:17.79\00:13:19.33 and I start to learn about who God made me to be 00:13:19.36\00:13:21.86 and how I'm wired. 00:13:21.90\00:13:23.26 Now, we didn't talk about how my wounding 00:13:23.30\00:13:25.60 had affected my wiring at that point, 00:13:25.63\00:13:27.80 but I started getting a picture of, 00:13:27.84\00:13:29.37 whoa, I could do something in the world, 00:13:29.40\00:13:31.67 and that was really a turning point right there 00:13:31.71\00:13:33.44 in seventh and eighth grade. 00:13:33.48\00:13:35.04 And so I went into high school feeling like, 00:13:35.08\00:13:37.38 you know what, I am made to do big things. 00:13:37.41\00:13:40.52 And so I thought, you know, 00:13:40.55\00:13:43.89 I felt like I had a pretty normal 00:13:43.92\00:13:45.52 background at that point. 00:13:45.55\00:13:47.22 If you would ask me I would say, 00:13:47.26\00:13:48.59 no, I come from a normal family, you know, 00:13:48.62\00:13:50.16 I mean isn't that what everybody certainly looks like 00:13:50.19\00:13:52.69 and so... 00:13:52.73\00:13:54.06 I love when you say that 00:13:54.10\00:13:55.43 because even as I'm hearing your story 00:13:55.46\00:13:57.17 that we really do believe that we're normal 00:13:57.20\00:13:59.40 until we start looking around and saying, 00:13:59.43\00:14:01.80 "Man, that had to have twisted me." 00:14:01.84\00:14:06.21 Even for you when you, 00:14:06.24\00:14:07.58 when you talk about those trust levels 00:14:07.61\00:14:09.71 and vowing that you know I'm not going to trust anybody. 00:14:09.74\00:14:12.45 I'm going to take care of myself, 00:14:12.48\00:14:13.82 all of those things, 00:14:13.85\00:14:15.18 and each mentor in each relationship 00:14:15.22\00:14:17.92 really kind of put a chisel to that 00:14:17.95\00:14:20.46 and started cracking that open. 00:14:20.49\00:14:23.56 That's huge. 00:14:23.59\00:14:24.93 So did you guys meet in college, 00:14:24.96\00:14:27.16 and when did you meet? 00:14:27.20\00:14:28.70 He's very old, we could have never met in college. 00:14:28.73\00:14:31.37 We were never there at the same time... 00:14:31.40\00:14:33.13 Se, I didn't know he was that old. 00:14:33.17\00:14:34.70 Yes, he is very mature clearly. 00:14:34.74\00:14:38.34 No, we actually met at summer camp 00:14:38.37\00:14:39.71 because Richie just kept going back 00:14:39.74\00:14:41.28 until I got old enough. 00:14:41.31\00:14:43.98 We actually tell the joke that 00:14:44.01\00:14:45.45 we both started at summer camp the same year 00:14:45.48\00:14:47.62 because we did, the difference is he was staff 00:14:47.65\00:14:49.88 and I was a adventurer camper, I was eight. 00:14:49.92\00:14:53.86 Thankfully I have absolutely no recollection of that 00:14:53.89\00:14:55.99 because that would've been so scarring to have... 00:14:56.02\00:14:58.49 She took rock climbing for me. 00:14:58.53\00:15:00.20 But the girl that was teaching with him. 00:15:00.23\00:15:02.50 Oh, she was one of the big girls 00:15:02.53\00:15:04.10 and she was so pretty. 00:15:04.13\00:15:05.67 You know, when you're little and you're... 00:15:05.70\00:15:07.04 I mean, oh, my goodness 00:15:07.07\00:15:08.40 I have no recollection of him whatsoever. 00:15:08.44\00:15:11.01 But I did come back a staff of legal age 00:15:11.04\00:15:15.81 and that's how we met, 00:15:15.84\00:15:18.58 we just started talking 00:15:18.61\00:15:19.95 and we were both theology majors, 00:15:19.98\00:15:22.02 he had been, he was pastoring at that point, 00:15:22.05\00:15:23.89 I was a theology major, he was in seminary. 00:15:23.92\00:15:26.76 And we just started talking about big things 00:15:26.79\00:15:29.66 and big ideas and God 00:15:29.69\00:15:33.73 and just big few things 00:15:33.76\00:15:36.16 and not very many people talked like he talks. 00:15:36.20\00:15:39.10 He does have a gift of talking, he was right. 00:15:39.13\00:15:41.67 And there was one night in particular 00:15:41.70\00:15:43.64 I remember it was raining, 00:15:43.67\00:15:45.01 I didn't have a cab in that week, 00:15:45.04\00:15:46.37 and we just sat on the steps as the rain came down 00:15:46.41\00:15:49.31 and talked about life 00:15:49.34\00:15:50.68 and what we want to be when we grow up 00:15:50.71\00:15:52.68 and we just we started deep almost instantly of, you know, 00:15:52.71\00:15:57.65 where is God taking us, 00:15:57.69\00:15:59.12 and what does He want from us 00:15:59.15\00:16:01.59 in exciting adventurous sort of ways... 00:16:01.62\00:16:04.06 What's incredible even as you're talking is that 00:16:04.09\00:16:07.33 it sounds like that you fully saw each other, you know, 00:16:07.36\00:16:12.57 and what you dreamed about, saw each other spiritually. 00:16:12.60\00:16:15.90 This is what I dream about. 00:16:15.94\00:16:18.01 This is how God has touched my life 00:16:18.04\00:16:19.77 and for whatever reason decided to share that with each other 00:16:19.81\00:16:23.11 and it was receptive. 00:16:23.14\00:16:24.65 Because some people would look at you and say, 00:16:24.68\00:16:26.18 "That's crazy, let's go rock climbing." 00:16:26.21\00:16:28.28 What are you talking about? 00:16:28.32\00:16:29.65 Yeah, we did that too, but yeah, we just, 00:16:29.68\00:16:32.12 we started off our pricing within our second conversation, 00:16:32.15\00:16:35.49 we went really deep really fast 00:16:35.52\00:16:38.09 and we've always dreamed together. 00:16:38.13\00:16:41.63 You know we can be in the depths of marital chaos 00:16:41.66\00:16:45.53 and be dreaming about helping marriages some day 00:16:45.57\00:16:49.10 and I really think... 00:16:49.14\00:16:51.01 After we get through meeting I'm gonna tell you. 00:16:51.04\00:16:53.54 Right, when that part is gone, 00:16:53.58\00:16:57.05 and so that has something 00:16:57.08\00:16:58.41 God has placed in both of our hearts big dreams. 00:16:58.45\00:17:01.05 We're always dreaming 00:17:01.08\00:17:02.42 and we seem to have given birth to dreamers as well. 00:17:02.45\00:17:05.72 So at that time, you guys really connect. 00:17:05.75\00:17:09.56 Now, you're working together in camp. 00:17:09.59\00:17:11.83 When did you know that more than likely 00:17:11.86\00:17:15.80 this is my wife, 00:17:15.83\00:17:17.23 more than likely this is my husband? 00:17:17.27\00:17:19.13 Well, we... 00:17:19.17\00:17:20.50 Well, I'll let you talk in just a minute. 00:17:20.54\00:17:22.84 We got through the summer from hell 00:17:22.87\00:17:24.94 is how we affectionately call it 00:17:24.97\00:17:26.54 and we figured 00:17:26.57\00:17:27.91 marriage could not possibly be worse than this 00:17:27.94\00:17:29.64 so we should consider it. 00:17:29.68\00:17:31.45 What made it so hard to get through? 00:17:31.48\00:17:35.05 What was difficult about that summer? 00:17:35.08\00:17:36.95 Well, that was our second summer. 00:17:36.99\00:17:38.62 We've been dating for about nine months, 00:17:38.65\00:17:40.32 long distance at that point, 00:17:40.36\00:17:42.19 and we just couldn't see eye to eye on diddly-squat. 00:17:42.22\00:17:46.66 I mean, I did like let's go this direction. 00:17:46.70\00:17:48.80 No, over there is the Promised Land. 00:17:48.83\00:17:50.67 I mean everything was different, we couldn't... 00:17:50.70\00:17:54.30 Which pretty wraps up, 00:17:54.34\00:17:55.67 pretty much wraps up how marriage went to... 00:17:55.70\00:17:57.04 For the first eight years, pretty much, 00:17:57.07\00:17:58.74 that does sum up that. 00:17:58.77\00:18:01.44 I think some, you know, control on my side 00:18:01.48\00:18:03.95 and jealousy and different things 00:18:03.98\00:18:05.31 in that environment with, you know, 00:18:05.35\00:18:06.68 all the camp staff and stuff. 00:18:06.72\00:18:08.05 There's a lot of communication, should have been some red flags 00:18:08.08\00:18:10.95 with all those 13 books I had read but... 00:18:10.99\00:18:14.66 Because I should have that information. 00:18:14.69\00:18:16.12 That's right. 00:18:16.16\00:18:17.49 But you know, and I've got to get back 00:18:17.53\00:18:18.86 because I think sometimes we forget 00:18:18.89\00:18:20.60 we're in the midst of falling in love 00:18:20.63\00:18:22.76 and seeing that, you know what, 00:18:22.80\00:18:24.13 I think this is my life partner 00:18:24.17\00:18:25.77 but then all of the stuff that we have been carrying 00:18:25.80\00:18:29.67 starts to kind of bubble up to the surface. 00:18:29.70\00:18:33.31 And we didn't even know that 00:18:33.34\00:18:34.68 what we didn't know at that point, 00:18:34.71\00:18:36.44 I mean we both thought we had pretty normal childhoods 00:18:36.48\00:18:38.98 and so we were coming into, you know, 00:18:39.01\00:18:41.15 do good things for God and for ministry, 00:18:41.18\00:18:43.28 he was kind of lucky to have us on his team... 00:18:43.32\00:18:45.49 Yeah, that's how we felt. 00:18:45.52\00:18:47.06 That's kind of how, 00:18:47.09\00:18:48.42 I mean we would have never worded it that way, 00:18:48.46\00:18:49.79 not quite that verbally arrogant, 00:18:49.82\00:18:52.69 I was not quite that really arrogant... 00:18:52.73\00:18:55.60 But, you know, how many people has God said, 00:18:55.63\00:18:58.07 you know what, that's cute 00:18:58.10\00:18:59.43 but we're going to have to work on that. 00:18:59.47\00:19:02.14 And if you really love someone, 00:19:02.17\00:19:03.67 you'll pray that prayer on their behalf 00:19:03.71\00:19:05.37 because he will be faithful to show up 00:19:05.41\00:19:07.31 and show you that, you're really... 00:19:07.34\00:19:09.41 He's really, really lucky 00:19:09.44\00:19:11.11 that he has a really good summer. 00:19:11.15\00:19:12.51 So during that summer 00:19:12.55\00:19:15.12 where everything was opposite 00:19:15.15\00:19:16.79 and you could see those opposites 00:19:16.82\00:19:18.29 just coming out like crazy. 00:19:18.32\00:19:22.12 I know that for you, 00:19:22.16\00:19:23.59 even the way you tell the story, 00:19:23.63\00:19:25.39 it was crazy making. It was. 00:19:25.43\00:19:27.20 Like I just want you to see that this is not making sense. 00:19:27.23\00:19:30.50 So I just want you to get it that, you know, 00:19:30.53\00:19:32.87 I'm the spiritual leader. 00:19:32.90\00:19:34.50 You know, whatever it is so give me an instant. 00:19:34.54\00:19:38.44 For instance what did it look like 00:19:38.47\00:19:41.58 and but you walked right into the relationship anyway. 00:19:41.61\00:19:44.28 Yeah, we did. 00:19:44.31\00:19:46.41 I'm trying to think of a good story... 00:19:46.45\00:19:47.88 Because it was a million years ago. 00:19:47.92\00:19:49.32 There was a bunch, you know, 00:19:49.35\00:19:51.12 I can think of, you know, there was, there was one. 00:19:51.15\00:19:54.26 There was one guy's staff who... 00:19:54.29\00:19:57.96 He just really, you know, he didn't like me, 00:19:57.99\00:20:00.73 we didn't get along very well 00:20:00.76\00:20:02.20 and so he made a point of being really friendly to Timmy, 00:20:02.23\00:20:05.30 and it just frosted my hide and she didn't really see 00:20:05.33\00:20:08.77 why that was a problem 00:20:08.80\00:20:10.17 so that was an example of this... 00:20:10.21\00:20:12.64 This gentlemen I had been friends, 00:20:12.67\00:20:14.24 well, he was yeah, 00:20:14.28\00:20:15.61 we've been friends at college 00:20:15.64\00:20:17.65 but Richie and I had been dating long distance 00:20:17.68\00:20:19.31 so like my normal relationships at school 00:20:19.35\00:20:21.62 weren't really affected by having a boyfriend. 00:20:21.65\00:20:23.25 Right. 00:20:23.28\00:20:24.62 And so that was it, and that was probably 00:20:24.65\00:20:27.06 the hardest transition of going into camp. 00:20:27.09\00:20:29.12 All of a sudden this person I'm dating who I do love, 00:20:29.16\00:20:32.56 he's here in the flesh. 00:20:32.59\00:20:34.83 And it was like, oh, oh, everything has to adjust 00:20:34.86\00:20:38.07 and it was rather earth quaking... 00:20:38.10\00:20:39.53 Hard adjustment but, 00:20:39.57\00:20:40.90 there was this weird thing 00:20:40.94\00:20:42.27 and neither of us can remember why we did this, 00:20:42.30\00:20:44.71 but going into that summer we made a rule 00:20:44.74\00:20:47.88 and the rule was, 00:20:47.91\00:20:49.24 we're not going to break up unless we both agree 00:20:49.28\00:20:51.61 that that's what needs to happen at that time. 00:20:51.65\00:20:53.62 And that summer I don't know how many times one of us said, 00:20:53.65\00:20:57.55 "I think we just need be done." 00:20:57.59\00:20:58.92 I'm done. 00:20:58.95\00:21:00.29 And the other one said, 00:21:00.32\00:21:01.66 "No, I don't think we're done yet." 00:21:01.69\00:21:03.63 I don't know were that really came from... 00:21:03.66\00:21:05.09 And we both abided by it which is really strange. 00:21:05.13\00:21:08.26 So he said, you know, you're right we need to quit. 00:21:08.30\00:21:10.97 Actually I don't think that now. 00:21:11.00\00:21:12.87 I think we need to stay together 00:21:12.90\00:21:14.24 and keep trying. 00:21:14.27\00:21:15.60 We can work this out 00:21:15.64\00:21:16.97 and he's like, "No, I don't think we can, 00:21:17.01\00:21:18.34 we can, we can." 00:21:18.37\00:21:19.71 And then, you know, 00:21:19.74\00:21:21.08 another few days, you're right, 00:21:21.11\00:21:22.44 we should just throw in the towel 00:21:22.48\00:21:23.81 he's like, "No, I see hope. 00:21:23.85\00:21:25.18 No." 00:21:25.21\00:21:27.25 Seriously that's how it went the whole summer. 00:21:27.28\00:21:29.35 And we made it to the end of the summer still together 00:21:29.38\00:21:32.69 because we could never agree just to break up 00:21:32.72\00:21:35.39 and we decided to just try dating in the same state 00:21:35.42\00:21:39.23 just for giggles 00:21:39.26\00:21:40.60 and so I went out to do my undergrad 00:21:40.63\00:21:42.76 where he was doing seminary 00:21:42.80\00:21:44.27 and we started talking about marriage 00:21:44.30\00:21:47.24 because it couldn't be worse than what we just did, 00:21:47.27\00:21:49.74 we were so sure. 00:21:49.77\00:21:51.11 I love and I don't know 00:21:51.14\00:21:52.47 how many people are probably watching this says, 00:21:52.51\00:21:54.81 that's exactly what I felt like 00:21:54.84\00:21:56.75 but we go through this tumultuous relationship 00:21:56.78\00:22:00.58 and everybody's still talking marriage, 00:22:00.62\00:22:02.52 that just cracks me up. 00:22:02.55\00:22:03.89 Yeah, yeah. 00:22:03.92\00:22:05.25 Well, and we didn't have a whole lot of templates 00:22:05.29\00:22:07.16 at that point to know what healthy relationship, 00:22:07.19\00:22:10.46 what marital love should look like. 00:22:10.49\00:22:13.06 I mean I said neither one of us did. 00:22:13.09\00:22:15.06 And so we were kind of weaving a prayer in it through 00:22:15.10\00:22:18.50 and we didn't pray and we were very intentional, 00:22:18.53\00:22:22.14 we asked specific people in our lives after that 00:22:22.17\00:22:26.01 very, very bad summer. 00:22:26.04\00:22:28.01 We, you know, we said, 00:22:28.04\00:22:29.38 "Hey, we're thinking about marriage 00:22:29.41\00:22:30.75 and we really want to have a God honoring marriage 00:22:30.78\00:22:33.52 and so." 00:22:33.55\00:22:34.88 What do you think? Yeah, what do you think? 00:22:34.92\00:22:36.25 And these are people not inside of our family 00:22:36.28\00:22:37.62 who had worked with us in ministry together 00:22:37.65\00:22:39.42 and say, you know, 00:22:39.45\00:22:40.79 if you have any concerns at all anywhere, 00:22:40.82\00:22:43.69 we will either put our engagement on hold 00:22:43.73\00:22:45.79 or we will call it off completely. 00:22:45.83\00:22:48.00 If you say anything and everyone's like, 00:22:48.03\00:22:50.60 "Oh, we love you guys, we think you're great, 00:22:50.63\00:22:54.14 we just think you're going to do good things for God, 00:22:54.17\00:22:56.17 go forth, kids." 00:22:56.20\00:22:57.54 Okay, we shall go forth." 00:22:57.57\00:23:00.44 And then we were ready 00:23:00.48\00:23:02.08 and so we got married 00:23:02.11\00:23:04.41 and then we got into our honeymoon 00:23:04.45\00:23:08.42 which was... 00:23:08.45\00:23:11.62 That is not a honeymoon look face, 00:23:11.65\00:23:14.32 I'm just saying, it was like end. 00:23:14.36\00:23:17.33 And then all the things we didn't know, 00:23:17.36\00:23:20.66 we didn't know smashed us on the head like an anvil, 00:23:20.70\00:23:23.70 would that be appropriate? 00:23:23.73\00:23:25.07 Yeah, so we went off on our honeymoon, 00:23:25.10\00:23:26.43 I mean like a lot of young couples 00:23:26.47\00:23:28.20 we had, we had, you know, said, 00:23:28.24\00:23:30.07 we're going to save physical intimacy for marriage 00:23:30.11\00:23:33.01 and so we were excited about the honeymoon 00:23:33.04\00:23:35.58 and talking about how great this is going to be to connect, 00:23:35.61\00:23:38.81 you know sexually and we're looking forward to it 00:23:38.85\00:23:41.12 and so we leave our wedding day exhausted, 00:23:41.15\00:23:43.95 you know... 00:23:43.99\00:23:45.32 That's a tiring day. And hungry. 00:23:45.35\00:23:46.82 Yeah and hungry, 00:23:46.86\00:23:48.29 and we're off on our honeymoon 00:23:48.32\00:23:49.66 and everything fell apart the first... 00:23:49.69\00:23:52.79 What do you mean? 00:23:52.83\00:23:54.20 Well, sex didn't work for us and we don't know why, 00:23:54.23\00:23:57.90 we read the books. 00:23:57.93\00:23:59.63 So now, I mean I'm in 20 books but we, we... 00:23:59.67\00:24:02.24 So we've read the books 00:24:02.27\00:24:03.61 on how sex is supposed to work in marriage and all that... 00:24:03.64\00:24:05.71 And I've seen the movies 00:24:05.74\00:24:07.08 where all the sudden everybody is just, 00:24:07.11\00:24:08.54 it's all that... 00:24:08.58\00:24:09.91 Well, we didn't want marital counseling 00:24:09.94\00:24:11.28 and he warned us. 00:24:11.31\00:24:12.65 Okay, it's not going to be like the movies. 00:24:12.68\00:24:14.02 Thank you. 00:24:14.05\00:24:15.38 Okay, we are ready then. 00:24:15.42\00:24:16.75 So that's all it really takes 00:24:16.79\00:24:18.12 it's not like the movies and biology will take over. 00:24:18.15\00:24:20.56 Okay, we're ready then. Yeah. 00:24:20.59\00:24:22.42 But, well, biology didn't take over, 00:24:22.46\00:24:24.46 now we understand that. 00:24:24.49\00:24:25.83 But it wasn't the way that most people would expect 00:24:25.86\00:24:28.30 and so it literally did not work 00:24:28.33\00:24:30.40 and there was pain instead of pleasure. 00:24:30.43\00:24:32.97 And so that touched 00:24:33.00\00:24:34.57 all kinds of things inside of me 00:24:34.60\00:24:36.37 and all kinds of things inside of her 00:24:36.40\00:24:38.27 and so the way that our honeymoon 00:24:38.31\00:24:39.84 ended quite literally was... 00:24:39.87\00:24:41.64 I remember one evening 00:24:41.68\00:24:43.01 we were on an island destination 00:24:43.04\00:24:44.68 and we're sitting on a beach 00:24:44.71\00:24:46.58 beautiful sunset over the ocean. 00:24:46.61\00:24:48.95 And we're watching this sunset, 00:24:48.98\00:24:50.32 Timmy on one end of the beach and Richie on the other. 00:24:50.35\00:24:53.15 Wow. 00:24:53.19\00:24:54.52 And that's how we started marriage 00:24:54.56\00:24:56.59 and we went into our marriage 00:24:56.62\00:24:58.69 so we had the summer from hell, 00:24:58.73\00:25:00.43 and now we have the honeymoon from hell, 00:25:00.46\00:25:02.63 and now we go into the first year from hell. 00:25:02.66\00:25:05.63 But I'm already pastoring... 00:25:05.67\00:25:07.00 Right. 00:25:07.04\00:25:08.37 So I have a district that I'm a part of... 00:25:08.40\00:25:09.74 And even when you say that 00:25:09.77\00:25:11.17 because most people don't know that as a pastoral couple 00:25:11.21\00:25:14.28 when you walk in everybody puts their smile on, 00:25:14.31\00:25:17.15 we got our suit on, 00:25:17.18\00:25:19.31 you know how was your honeymoon? 00:25:19.35\00:25:20.68 It was great. 00:25:20.72\00:25:22.18 Let me show you some pictures 00:25:22.22\00:25:24.02 and you're walking back into the house saying, 00:25:24.05\00:25:26.15 what have I done? 00:25:26.19\00:25:28.29 Well, and it wasn't that we necessarily, I know, 00:25:28.32\00:25:30.29 what have I done, 00:25:30.33\00:25:31.66 like we weren't committed to each other. 00:25:31.69\00:25:33.33 We just, we didn't have any idea 00:25:33.36\00:25:35.03 what was the way forward. 00:25:35.06\00:25:36.40 I mean is there a way forward 00:25:36.43\00:25:38.13 and because we were already in ministry, 00:25:38.17\00:25:40.60 I was finishing college, 00:25:40.64\00:25:42.10 Richie was pastoring and I was commuting to school. 00:25:42.14\00:25:44.57 But we didn't, we didn't even know 00:25:44.61\00:25:46.47 how to ask for help. 00:25:46.51\00:25:47.84 We didn't know where to ask for help. 00:25:47.88\00:25:49.21 Who do you ask when you're the ones 00:25:49.24\00:25:50.58 who are supposed to be the, you know, 00:25:50.61\00:25:51.95 religious know it alls. 00:25:51.98\00:25:53.31 Yeah. 00:25:53.35\00:25:54.68 You know, where do you go and what do you do, 00:25:54.72\00:25:56.65 and we were at a complete loss. 00:25:56.69\00:25:59.09 So what that meant is we were trying really hard 00:25:59.12\00:26:01.82 reading more books because we're both readers. 00:26:01.86\00:26:04.26 You know, we're reading books 00:26:04.29\00:26:05.63 and we're trying to figure it out, 00:26:05.66\00:26:07.00 but we have no tools. 00:26:07.03\00:26:08.40 We don't even know how to put language around 00:26:08.43\00:26:11.40 what's happening to even tell someone about it 00:26:11.43\00:26:14.44 and yet we have to go out 00:26:14.47\00:26:16.20 and put on our happy ministry faces 00:26:16.24\00:26:18.01 so it was literally a... 00:26:18.04\00:26:20.24 I would like to say 00:26:20.28\00:26:22.51 this is a great time for us to take a break and come back, 00:26:22.54\00:26:25.55 because what I'm seeing is with everything 00:26:25.58\00:26:30.85 that you've described 00:26:30.89\00:26:32.22 as described as far as childhood, 00:26:32.25\00:26:34.56 all of the thing that led to this, 00:26:34.59\00:26:36.32 you're happy ever after, 00:26:36.36\00:26:38.26 all of the sudden is in question 00:26:38.29\00:26:40.50 and you are screaming out who do I talk to. 00:26:40.53\00:26:43.16 And we have taught people in ministry 00:26:43.20\00:26:45.63 to kind of just live in silence with that stuff, 00:26:45.67\00:26:49.70 and I know that that's not what you did. 00:26:49.74\00:26:52.07 So if you are at all looking at your own relationships 00:26:52.11\00:26:56.34 while they're talking is like good for you. 00:26:56.38\00:26:58.55 Good on you for that. 00:26:58.58\00:26:59.91 If you are, you know, 00:26:59.95\00:27:01.58 someone that is struggling, 00:27:01.62\00:27:03.15 just stay with us, 00:27:03.18\00:27:04.52 because this is actually an incredible ending. 00:27:04.55\00:27:08.79 And not even ending, because we're not done yet, 00:27:08.82\00:27:10.83 but this is just an incredible journey 00:27:10.86\00:27:12.49 so stay with us. 00:27:12.53\00:27:13.86 We'll be right back. 00:27:13.90\00:27:15.23