The following program
discusses sensitive issues
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related to addictive behaviour.
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Parents are
cautioned that some material
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may be too candid
for younger children.
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Welcome back.
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You know, we are talking about
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when everything in your life
is going along pretty normally
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and when I say normal, normal,
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I haven't seen a lot
of people that are normal.
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I haven't, I heard a
lot of those stories.
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Even your story, Lisa,
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when you talk about
what happened at 19 and,
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and, you know that
changed everything,
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your family
dynamics and partying
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and going crazy for a while
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and then kind of
settling and getting married,
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getting a degree.
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And so now you got your degree,
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you got your education thing.
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Your husband's
going back to school too.
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I mean all of that,
everything is going well.
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Faith is, I'm
sure beautiful and fun,
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and but in your life
things started to turn
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and take us there,
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everything is
going in one direction
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and then all of a
sudden there is a shift.
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After we had
finished our degrees,
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actually I wasn't
quite finished my degree
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when I got my first job.
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So I had about four
classes to finish up
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but I could get a
letter of standing at the time
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and I did that
and I went to Regina,
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Saskatchewan and taught
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for my first year of teaching...
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Mm-hmm, what grade?
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It was a K to 6 at the time.
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Okay, awesome.
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And I was the
principal, I taught multi grade,
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I helped with the
secretarial, everything.
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So that was my
first year of teaching.
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And so, and I had Faith,
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she was around between
two and three at the time,
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and my husband had
finished up his education.
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And we moved out,
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we went to help the
school in particular
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because they
didn't have a teacher
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and it was getting
pretty close to school starting.
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And they weren't sure
what they were going to do,
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and so I took that call
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and so I did it that, that year.
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But during the year
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my husband couldn't
get employment there
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and so...
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They just didn't
have enough funds
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to hire another teacher.
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No, and they
didn't have students
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and they were
rebuilding the school
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and so we started out
actually with nine students.
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And then by Christmas
time we went up to 13,
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and then for the
next school year,
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they actually had 23 students.
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So that was fabulous
for us with that school.
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But in the mean time,
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my husband
during that school year
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couldn't get the job in Regina
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and so he ended up
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actually going to
Peace River, Alberta.
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So then I was in
charge of that school,
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and I had my daughter
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and he was at the Peace River,
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Alberta and that was
approximately 13 hours away.
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Wow.
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So right now, that's
the strain on a family.
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So you guys are having to
deal with that kind of thing.
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You are working and
raising your daughter
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and trying to do
all that kind of stuff.
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He is trying to survive and,
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provide some
income for everyone.
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That's right.
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So, I know that you,
you were pregnant again.
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You got pregnant again.
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Was it during this time?
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No, this was later on. Okay.
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We were both living in Alberta,
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and I was pregnant again around
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five and half years later,
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and my husband was working
on the reserve at the time
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in Hobbema in Alberta,
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and so he was working there.
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He had grade five, six classroom
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and it was kind of...
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So with First Nation.
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Yes, with First Nation kids
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and he actually did very well.
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He had the lowest
stand kids in the school and,
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but it was really hard.
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It was a day to
day thing for him.
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And I was actually
scared he might in the end quit
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and so it was
like praying everyday,
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"Lord pleases
help Mark to be able
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to go to school
and to work today."
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Yeah.
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And then what I've
got to say for people
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that don't know about
working in some school districts
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as you have kids with
learning disabilities,
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fetal alcohol syndrome.
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They have got chaos at home.
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There's a lot of junk
going on in their life.
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And so as a
teacher when you come in
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and you've given out assignments
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the night before,
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you may not have anybody
that's done their assignment.
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So it's a
different kind of teaching.
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And so with Mark, he's got to,
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he's got to put everything
that he learned almost away
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and figure out how to
teach each one of these kids.
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That's right
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and what motivates them,
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what appeals to them,
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how to help them in a way,
that they need to be helped.
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And it wasn't just academic.
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It was also being a role model
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for them as well, so...
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Lot of them didn't have father,
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they had a father that
may be in and out of jail
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or in and out of alcoholism.
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So that was a...
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that was a really
tough period for him,
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and at the end of the year...
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Well, during that time period,
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we had our first son Andrew.
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And so, we were
really happy about that
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because our daughter,
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we've had her for six years
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and we're really
happy but we were,
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you know, looking
forward to having another child,
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so there would be siblings,
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so, and also during that time,
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my husband got a call
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to go to Williams
Lake, British Columbia.
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And so he decided
to take that call.
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So we moved there
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and he taught in the high school
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and that first year,
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I actually started
teaching in the resorts room,
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so I worked with students
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from grade 1 all
the way to grade 12
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in different subject areas.
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So it was really,
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it sounds like it was kind
of what you guys wanted to do,
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so it felt good.
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It felt good... Yeah.
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You know, we're both
working in a great place.
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We both believed in
a Christian education
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and we were nice
little family unit
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and we were really excited.
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Sounds good, so what happened?
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Well, during those...
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In Williams Lake,
we stayed three years
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and for the first year I
worked in the resorts room,
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and then after that
they had to cut a position
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and that was the
position that was cut.
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And so then I
didn't have a position
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and I wasn't sure
exactly what I was going to do,
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my husband was still
working at the school,
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so that was okay.
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But the...
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'cause we had to pay
for our own schooling
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and payday loans,
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we both needed to be working,
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so I wasn't sure
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what I was going to
do to be quite honest
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and last minute,
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I got a call to
Hazelton SDA School
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in British Columbia.
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I love Hazelton.
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You know, it's
a really poor town
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but it is
beautiful 'cause I mean,
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I think their industry
dropped off at one point.
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Yes.
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So they have lost some of
the major businesses there.
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Yes. Yeah
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So I ended up
going there actually
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and to help with that school
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and so I
started about three days
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before school actually started.
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So I went to Hazelton
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and stayed with our
school boy chair at the time.
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And my husband was at home
and he had the two children.
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Okay.
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So it was another time
where it was very hard.
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I didn't like
being away from them.
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Right.
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And I know that there was a time
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where you started
to notice some things
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that were very
different with your kids.
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Yes.
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And talk about that
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so with not so
much Faith but your son.
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Right.
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With Andrew during that time...
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Well, I was away that
year, I didn't see him as often
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because I would
drive back and forth
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as many weekends as I could.
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It was an eight hour drive
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and but when I
came back the next year,
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I stayed at Williams Lake,
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and I chose to be
there with my husband
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and stay with him and
I did started noticing
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when I took
Andrew out of church,
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just dealing
with him in general,
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he wasn't talking and...
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How old was he?
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He was around three.
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Okay.
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And if it was, it was sounds,
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it was very limited,
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very hyper into a lot of things,
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and I knew
something was going on
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but I wasn't sure what.
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It was kind of interesting
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when I first
went to Williams Lake,
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and I had gone into the school.
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There was a little boy
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who lived right
behind the school
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and he had gotten
out of his housing yard
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and he had walked
down to the school,
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he had come into the school
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and his parents
didn't know he was gone
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and we happen to be circulating,
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and I saw this little
boy in the kindergarten room.
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And I said oh, I said, you know,
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I went to one of the staff,
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I said, there is
little boy here in the school,
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is he your son?
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And they said no.
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They said, "This is
the neighbor's son."
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And they said, "He
goes to school here,
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he's just starting school."
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But they said "he has autism."
00:10:00.76\00:10:02.76
So they said, he,
00:10:02.80\00:10:04.93
you know sometimes
will leave his house
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and come down here
and that's what he did.
00:10:08.84\00:10:10.61
Mm-hm
00:10:10.64\00:10:12.07
And that was my
first touch of autism.
00:10:12.11\00:10:17.05
The first time that you
saw another kid and said, okay,
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I get that and you
can kind of see it in him.
00:10:20.55\00:10:23.32
I'm not able to
really look at you
00:10:23.35\00:10:25.12
or communicate in the same way.
00:10:25.15\00:10:28.22
And...
00:10:28.26\00:10:30.36
But what you found out that,
00:10:30.39\00:10:32.09
that autism is gonna
head it closer than you think.
00:10:32.13\00:10:36.20
That's right.
00:10:36.23\00:10:37.57
I didn't know at the time...
00:10:37.60\00:10:38.93
Yeah.
00:10:38.97\00:10:40.30
But I feel in my
heart it was almost...
00:10:40.34\00:10:44.67
God letting me
know ahead of time.
00:10:44.71\00:10:46.04
Okay.
00:10:46.07\00:10:47.41
You got the education,
you're in early education.
00:10:47.44\00:10:51.25
You are working with kids.
00:10:51.28\00:10:53.31
Now you're seeing
these disabilities
00:10:53.35\00:10:54.92
and you're thinking,
00:10:54.95\00:10:56.28
at home you had a son
who is not talking yet.
00:10:56.32\00:10:59.62
Yes, and so what
happened was as my husband
00:10:59.65\00:11:03.32
and I ended up
taking him to the doctors
00:11:03.36\00:11:04.99
and we said,
00:11:05.03\00:11:06.36
"We are not sure what's going on
00:11:06.39\00:11:07.73
but we know there's
something going on."
00:11:07.76\00:11:09.10
And as soon as she saw
00:11:09.13\00:11:11.97
and started
watching and observing
00:11:12.00\00:11:13.77
and she says "So I'm putting
in a referral right away."
00:11:13.80\00:11:16.50
And so,
00:11:16.54\00:11:19.74
another person
who really helped us
00:11:19.77\00:11:22.24
deal with that was
00:11:22.28\00:11:24.61
the principal's
wife at the time.
00:11:24.65\00:11:26.41
She was actually working with
that little boy that I had met.
00:11:26.45\00:11:30.35
And she had thought that maybe
my son was on the spectrum.
00:11:30.39\00:11:34.72
But she didn't want to
hurt me or hurt my feelings
00:11:34.76\00:11:37.96
that she didn't
know how to go about it.
00:11:37.99\00:11:39.49
She didn't know
how to say to you.
00:11:39.53\00:11:41.10
Have you paid attention to this?
00:11:41.13\00:11:42.73
That's right.
00:11:42.76\00:11:44.40
'Cause we don't
know how to say that,
00:11:44.43\00:11:46.03
is it we love each other
00:11:46.07\00:11:48.60
and these are
some serious things
00:11:48.64\00:11:50.54
and you don't want
to say it to someone,
00:11:50.57\00:11:52.37
you know heads off, I
would get this checked.
00:11:52.41\00:11:54.71
That's right.
00:11:54.74\00:11:56.08
And so people are usually quiet.
00:11:56.11\00:11:57.61
Mm-hmm.
00:11:57.65\00:11:59.28
In this instant, I'm
really happy she did.
00:11:59.31\00:12:03.42
Mm-hmm.
00:12:03.45\00:12:04.99
'Cause our meeting went on for
00:12:05.02\00:12:06.59
even the longer period of time
00:12:06.62\00:12:09.36
because in my
husband side of the family,
00:12:09.39\00:12:11.29
they didn't talk until later on.
00:12:11.33\00:12:13.50
And so, it wasn't so
much I thought, well,
00:12:13.53\00:12:16.20
oh, well maybe he
has a speech delay
00:12:16.23\00:12:19.80
or may be he has ADHD.
00:12:19.83\00:12:22.40
I never actually
thought of autism at the time.
00:12:22.44\00:12:25.14
Mm-hmm.
00:12:25.17\00:12:26.51
And so with her help,
00:12:26.54\00:12:29.58
I found out actually
the very day I found out...
00:12:29.61\00:12:34.72
What did she
actually say to you at first
00:12:34.75\00:12:36.55
or how did she
broach the subject?
00:12:36.58\00:12:41.09
Well, she came up to me
and she was talking to me
00:12:41.12\00:12:44.16
and we had a good rapport.
00:12:44.19\00:12:46.36
So, and she knew that I
was wondering about Andrew
00:12:46.39\00:12:52.77
and she started talking
to me and she said, you know,
00:12:52.80\00:12:58.04
this is what I've seen
00:12:58.07\00:12:59.54
and this is what
I've worked within.
00:12:59.57\00:13:01.28
You know, have you
maybe approach to doctor,
00:13:01.31\00:13:03.81
a pediatrician,
00:13:03.85\00:13:05.18
and she's trying to be
00:13:05.21\00:13:06.55
as nice as possible
about going about it.
00:13:06.58\00:13:09.78
So and, I was pretty open
00:13:09.82\00:13:16.32
and I was friendly
about it and stuff like that
00:13:16.36\00:13:20.06
and I thought, well, you know,
00:13:20.10\00:13:21.86
I'll go and I'll do it
and just to see, you know,
00:13:21.90\00:13:24.80
what is going on
and stuff like that.
00:13:24.83\00:13:26.17
So I took it okay.
00:13:26.20\00:13:27.77
And in the mean
time my husband had...
00:13:27.80\00:13:34.08
We had worked for
three years and he...
00:13:34.11\00:13:38.51
There again
positions were changing
00:13:38.55\00:13:40.92
and so I had an
opportunity to go to Hazelton.
00:13:40.95\00:13:43.72
And so, the day that
we're already packed up
00:13:43.75\00:13:48.96
and ready to move
00:13:48.99\00:13:50.53
and pull out
with the moving truck
00:13:50.56\00:13:52.73
was the actual day
that I got the results back
00:13:52.76\00:13:55.93
and they told me
and I relayed it to Mark
00:13:55.96\00:13:58.80
because I was
going to talk with him.
00:13:58.83\00:14:00.17
They told you what?
00:14:00.20\00:14:01.54
They said, "Well, you know,
00:14:01.57\00:14:02.90
your son has autism, don't you?"
00:14:02.94\00:14:05.57
And I was like,
00:14:05.61\00:14:07.34
"No, not at all."
00:14:07.38\00:14:09.68
I really,
00:14:09.71\00:14:11.48
I really didn't have
any idea and it was a shock.
00:14:11.51\00:14:16.05
Even when somebody
saying it that, I don't,
00:14:16.08\00:14:18.85
I don't care how
obvious something looks.
00:14:18.89\00:14:21.86
When you love somebody,
you don't want to see it.
00:14:21.89\00:14:24.19
That's right.
00:14:24.23\00:14:25.63
And so what you were saying
is, "No, I don't know that,
00:14:25.66\00:14:28.40
this cannot be happening."
00:14:28.43\00:14:30.90
What do you mean by that?
00:14:30.93\00:14:33.30
You know, and I could imagine...
00:14:33.34\00:14:36.94
Well, how did you feel,
I mean, I can't imagine.
00:14:36.97\00:14:39.34
I mean, I really can't imagine,
00:14:39.37\00:14:41.31
how did you feel that moment
00:14:41.34\00:14:42.91
when you had to take that news?
00:14:42.94\00:14:45.81
I was crushed.
00:14:45.85\00:14:47.88
I felt like all
my hopes and dreams
00:14:47.92\00:14:49.55
kind of were gone.
00:14:49.58\00:14:52.79
I wasn't sure
exactly at that point
00:14:52.82\00:14:56.06
what it all meant.
00:14:56.09\00:14:59.63
And I knew life
would be different
00:14:59.66\00:15:02.90
but I wasn't sure how?
00:15:02.93\00:15:04.27
Mm-hmm.
00:15:04.30\00:15:05.63
And then I was like,
what are we going to do?
00:15:05.67\00:15:08.44
We are moving
from a bigger center
00:15:08.47\00:15:10.97
now to a little place
00:15:11.01\00:15:13.31
and there really isn't
any services around us.
00:15:13.34\00:15:16.01
The closest services are like
00:15:16.04\00:15:17.88
45 minutes to an
hour and half away.
00:15:17.91\00:15:20.95
What are we going
to do with our son?
00:15:20.98\00:15:24.25
So you're talking about
00:15:24.29\00:15:25.65
education is going
to be very different.
00:15:25.69\00:15:27.09
Mm-hmm.
00:15:27.12\00:15:28.46
That kind of support that
00:15:28.49\00:15:29.82
you're having is
gonna be very different.
00:15:29.86\00:15:31.19
That's right
00:15:31.23\00:15:32.56
You have to get
someone to teach you
00:15:32.59\00:15:33.93
how to teach or
interact with this child.
00:15:33.96\00:15:36.03
That's right.
00:15:36.06\00:15:37.40
And, and, but,
00:15:37.43\00:15:39.40
I think that's
brilliant that you said
00:15:39.43\00:15:41.00
that the resources
are not gonna be there
00:15:41.04\00:15:42.67
in this little town.
00:15:42.70\00:15:44.24
So what do we do?
00:15:44.27\00:15:45.61
What did you do?
00:15:45.64\00:15:46.98
Well, we got to the town
00:15:47.01\00:15:50.41
and we started
getting set up with services.
00:15:50.45\00:15:53.85
I was fortunate enough
00:15:53.88\00:15:55.55
because I had been there before.
00:15:55.58\00:15:57.52
I had friends in the community
00:15:57.55\00:15:59.59
and my friends
started setting me up,
00:15:59.62\00:16:02.62
okay, well, you
can get services here,
00:16:02.66\00:16:04.93
you know this is the good person
00:16:04.96\00:16:06.29
and so forth.
00:16:06.33\00:16:07.66
And so I had a good
00:16:07.70\00:16:11.47
another people
that I could go to,
00:16:11.50\00:16:14.00
to talk to.
00:16:14.04\00:16:15.37
Would you say to somebody
00:16:15.40\00:16:16.74
that's feeling with
something like this is make sure
00:16:16.77\00:16:18.47
you get that in another people.
00:16:18.51\00:16:19.91
Definitely. Yeah.
00:16:19.94\00:16:21.38
You...
00:16:21.41\00:16:22.98
Don't do this by yourself.
00:16:23.01\00:16:24.35
No because it's
very easy to do it alone
00:16:24.38\00:16:29.02
and make a lot of mistakes.
00:16:29.05\00:16:32.15
Mm-hmm.
00:16:32.19\00:16:33.52
Did you research stuff?
00:16:33.56\00:16:34.89
I mean, to me I'm a researcher,
00:16:34.92\00:16:36.56
I think I get some
control if I can say, okay,
00:16:36.59\00:16:39.09
what is it,
00:16:39.13\00:16:40.46
and what do I
need to know about it
00:16:40.50\00:16:41.83
and what are the stats,
did you do any of that thing?
00:16:41.86\00:16:44.03
And what did you
learn, if you did that?
00:16:44.07\00:16:46.27
I did lot of
research at the time
00:16:46.30\00:16:48.10
'cause I wanted to do
00:16:48.14\00:16:49.47
whatever I could to help my son.
00:16:49.50\00:16:51.74
Yeah.
00:16:51.77\00:16:53.11
And so I researched,
00:16:53.14\00:16:56.85
there is...
00:16:56.88\00:16:58.78
There is all
kinds of different ways
00:16:58.81\00:17:00.65
to help your child with autism,
00:17:00.68\00:17:02.55
so there is all kinds
of different therapies,
00:17:02.58\00:17:05.65
there is biomedical treatments,
00:17:05.69\00:17:08.22
and there is having a Dan doctor
00:17:08.26\00:17:09.59
to treat autism now.
00:17:09.62\00:17:12.76
There is a...
00:17:12.79\00:17:14.70
You have to start
looking into behavior plans,
00:17:14.73\00:17:18.03
behavior consultants,
behavior interventionist,
00:17:18.07\00:17:20.84
speech specialist, OTs...
00:17:20.87\00:17:23.94
Everything changed for you.
00:17:23.97\00:17:25.61
Everything,
everything literally.
00:17:25.64\00:17:28.41
Even, even, you know,
00:17:28.44\00:17:31.15
we talks a long time ago.
00:17:31.18\00:17:33.38
But it's like
that from that point
00:17:33.42\00:17:34.75
I started to really look at.
00:17:34.78\00:17:36.48
If that happened to
me what will I learn,
00:17:36.52\00:17:38.32
and I was surprised
like 1 in 68 children
00:17:38.35\00:17:41.62
on the spectrum...
00:17:41.66\00:17:42.99
That's right.
00:17:43.02\00:17:44.36
Of autism at some level.
00:17:44.39\00:17:45.73
I mean, and so
00:17:45.76\00:17:47.10
you were learning
that kind of thing, is it,
00:17:47.13\00:17:48.46
this is not a problem
that's kind of out there,
00:17:48.50\00:17:50.83
this is huge issue,
and what would I do now?
00:17:50.87\00:17:55.14
Can you show me your son
00:17:55.17\00:17:56.74
'cause I know you
brought some pictures?
00:17:56.77\00:17:58.24
This is Andrew.
00:17:58.27\00:18:00.48
So he is the one that was
our first son with autism.
00:18:00.51\00:18:06.05
And to me I'm looking
at him and he is just,
00:18:06.08\00:18:10.09
you know as a baby,
00:18:10.12\00:18:11.49
and as you held
him, as you nursed him,
00:18:11.52\00:18:14.69
all that stuff is
that a beautiful kid.
00:18:14.72\00:18:18.19
Thank you
00:18:18.23\00:18:19.56
Right, so you are
learning all this.
00:18:19.59\00:18:21.80
When were you pregnant,
00:18:21.83\00:18:23.83
'cause you were pregnant again?
00:18:23.87\00:18:25.20
Yes, but it wasn't
until 6 years later.
00:18:25.23\00:18:29.00
So in the mean time we
lived in British Columbia,
00:18:29.04\00:18:34.34
we taught there
00:18:34.38\00:18:35.71
and then we decided
to move to New Brunswick,
00:18:35.74\00:18:41.92
so I was going back to my roots.
00:18:41.95\00:18:44.52
And my father had
moved into special care room.
00:18:44.55\00:18:48.06
So we had actually
moved into the house
00:18:48.09\00:18:50.23
where I had grown up in.
00:18:50.26\00:18:52.03
And so, when we had
moved to New Brunswick
00:18:52.06\00:18:55.06
about two or three
weeks later I found out that
00:18:55.10\00:18:57.67
I was pregnant
with my third child.
00:18:57.70\00:19:00.74
In all this craziness going on.
00:19:00.77\00:19:02.80
Yes.
00:19:02.84\00:19:05.01
How were you surviving then?
00:19:05.04\00:19:06.98
Were you okay?
00:19:07.01\00:19:08.54
I was surviving
00:19:08.58\00:19:13.11
but I found out while
I was in New Brunswick,
00:19:13.15\00:19:17.89
I thought it was
going to be different than
00:19:17.92\00:19:19.85
what I had imagined.
00:19:19.89\00:19:21.29
I thought it was
gonna be so wonderful,
00:19:21.32\00:19:23.73
I was getting to go back home,
00:19:23.76\00:19:25.09
I was getting to
go back to my roots,
00:19:25.13\00:19:26.70
my family was around.
00:19:26.73\00:19:28.70
Before we had moved there,
00:19:28.73\00:19:31.07
I had called different
schools and professionals
00:19:31.10\00:19:34.67
to ask them about
their systems, you know,
00:19:34.70\00:19:37.37
and would my son will
be able to get therapies
00:19:37.41\00:19:39.87
and will we able to
get jobs as teachers,
00:19:39.91\00:19:42.31
'cause there are
two school districts
00:19:42.34\00:19:43.71
where we were moving,
so I thought this is great.
00:19:43.75\00:19:45.75
You know, we
both have employment,
00:19:45.78\00:19:47.92
there will be
services for our son,
00:19:47.95\00:19:50.12
this is gonna
be wonderful and...
00:19:50.15\00:19:52.62
But you don't worry,
I just got to say that,
00:19:52.65\00:19:54.62
you know,
00:19:54.66\00:19:55.99
so in your public eye
00:19:56.02\00:19:58.56
you are still doing
all the normal things.
00:19:58.59\00:20:00.66
You're still
doing everything that,
00:20:00.70\00:20:02.03
I'm getting a job,
00:20:02.06\00:20:03.40
I'm going in and I'm socializing
00:20:03.43\00:20:06.03
and people are networking
and all that kind of stuff.
00:20:06.07\00:20:08.20
When that door shut
in, you are at home,
00:20:08.24\00:20:11.47
what was that like for
you and Mark, and the kids?
00:20:11.51\00:20:13.98
It was almost like another side.
00:20:18.01\00:20:19.55
Yeah.
00:20:19.58\00:20:20.92
I bet.
00:20:20.95\00:20:22.28
Nobody really knew.
00:20:22.32\00:20:23.65
It seems like people
don't really understand
00:20:26.86\00:20:30.59
what it's like
to live with a child
00:20:30.63\00:20:35.23
with special
needs on the spectrum
00:20:35.26\00:20:37.63
unless they have one themselves.
00:20:37.67\00:20:39.67
Behind closed doors
it was really tough.
00:20:43.41\00:20:48.18
We had a child who,
00:20:48.21\00:20:51.98
he wasn't potty trained
till he was 9 years old.
00:20:52.01\00:20:54.02
Mm-hmm.
00:20:54.05\00:20:55.38
And I was scared that
00:20:55.42\00:20:57.49
I wasn't going to be able
to potty train this child.
00:20:57.52\00:21:02.39
His speech was
very much sporadic
00:21:02.42\00:21:04.86
and he was
considered non-verbal.
00:21:04.89\00:21:07.30
He had sensory
issues and he continuous to,
00:21:07.33\00:21:10.70
where loud noises,
00:21:10.73\00:21:14.34
touch, taste, smell
everything is heightened.
00:21:14.37\00:21:19.31
Also when he wasn't...
00:21:19.34\00:21:22.54
when he wasn't
dealing with those things,
00:21:22.58\00:21:24.15
I mean, you have safety issues.
00:21:24.18\00:21:26.65
There is one day
00:21:26.68\00:21:28.02
and I was
pregnant with my third son
00:21:28.05\00:21:30.45
where we were
just coming outside
00:21:30.49\00:21:33.79
and he had gotten away from me
00:21:33.82\00:21:36.22
and I called him "Andrew stop."
00:21:36.26\00:21:39.33
And I really believe
his guardian angel was there
00:21:39.36\00:21:42.26
'cause he kept running
00:21:42.30\00:21:43.67
and there was a car that
came out down the road fast
00:21:43.70\00:21:48.14
and literally it was
around a couple of inches
00:21:48.17\00:21:51.11
and that car would hit him.
00:21:51.14\00:21:53.61
So there was
different things that happened
00:21:53.64\00:21:57.01
that nobody really knows about,
00:21:57.05\00:21:58.75
nobody really understands that,
00:21:58.78\00:22:00.75
when you have to deal
with all those issues,
00:22:00.78\00:22:03.65
when you have to
deal with a child who...
00:22:03.69\00:22:05.89
you know, can't
toilet themselves
00:22:09.76\00:22:12.39
and you have to
clean their messes
00:22:12.43\00:22:15.16
day after day after day,
00:22:15.20\00:22:17.83
and it's not
just in their diapers,
00:22:17.87\00:22:20.34
it's smearing, it's walls,
00:22:20.37\00:22:22.37
it's carpets, it's items,
00:22:22.40\00:22:23.91
it's everything.
00:22:23.94\00:22:25.61
Nobody really knows
00:22:25.64\00:22:27.01
what those people
have to go through.
00:22:27.04\00:22:30.01
You know I'm glad that you,
that you could be that honest.
00:22:30.05\00:22:33.35
Because that's what I'm saying
is that all the other stuff,
00:22:33.38\00:22:35.98
all the stats, all they tell,
00:22:36.02\00:22:38.05
everything they tell you to do.
00:22:38.09\00:22:39.42
But when you shut that door
00:22:39.45\00:22:41.39
and you say no one
prepared me for this,
00:22:41.42\00:22:44.59
and this is a child that I love.
00:22:44.63\00:22:47.26
Yes.
00:22:47.30\00:22:48.63
Beyond what you could imagine,
00:22:48.66\00:22:50.00
I love but I can't say to him
00:22:50.03\00:22:52.23
"Go clean up your room or
stop, you need to behave."
00:22:52.27\00:22:54.70
That's right.
00:22:54.74\00:22:56.07
'Cause he doesn't hear me.
00:22:56.10\00:22:58.14
How's Faith and
Mark during that time?
00:22:58.17\00:23:02.64
During that time,
00:23:02.68\00:23:06.18
Faith as a child and
she kind of use it as,
00:23:06.21\00:23:11.09
you know, my brother,
00:23:11.12\00:23:13.25
he gets everything kind of idea,
00:23:13.29\00:23:15.29
like he gets extra attention,
he gets extra support,
00:23:15.32\00:23:18.59
all these things.
00:23:18.63\00:23:19.96
Nobody sees me.
00:23:20.00\00:23:21.33
Nobody see me.
00:23:21.36\00:23:23.93
She was such a wonderful support
00:23:23.97\00:23:27.17
with Mark and I,
00:23:27.20\00:23:28.54
she would do what she
could at the same time
00:23:28.57\00:23:31.01
to help us out with her brother.
00:23:31.04\00:23:35.18
Mark at the time, it's rough,
00:23:35.21\00:23:38.35
it's your son,
00:23:38.38\00:23:40.48
he is the...
00:23:40.52\00:23:41.85
your son is supposed
to carry on your name.
00:23:41.88\00:23:43.82
You have hopes and
dreams for your son,
00:23:43.85\00:23:45.82
it's not materializing
00:23:45.85\00:23:47.49
and you have all
these different things
00:23:47.52\00:23:49.09
that are happening
00:23:49.12\00:23:50.46
and going on in your
house behind closed doors,
00:23:50.49\00:23:52.83
and it's really
hard to deal with
00:23:52.86\00:23:54.86
and I think it's sometimes
00:23:54.90\00:23:57.57
very difficult for
men in a different way.
00:23:57.60\00:24:00.84
In what way,
00:24:00.87\00:24:02.20
'cause you watched
him, and, you know,
00:24:02.24\00:24:04.71
you love him
00:24:04.74\00:24:06.07
Yes.
00:24:06.11\00:24:07.44
You see him
have hope or give up.
00:24:07.48\00:24:09.74
That's right.
00:24:09.78\00:24:11.68
With Mark I think it,
00:24:11.71\00:24:13.62
it hurts at a very deep level
00:24:13.65\00:24:17.62
and it's hard to talk
about, it's hard to explain.
00:24:17.65\00:24:22.89
Seeing your son like that,
00:24:22.92\00:24:24.86
sometimes it can
even be embarrassing,
00:24:24.89\00:24:27.56
and it's not that
00:24:27.60\00:24:28.93
you don't love your son, you do.
00:24:28.96\00:24:32.47
It's just that, it's
really hard to deal with
00:24:32.50\00:24:37.17
and then at the same time,
00:24:37.21\00:24:39.21
you have to go on
with your day to day life
00:24:39.24\00:24:41.98
like as if
nothing ever happened.
00:24:42.01\00:24:44.61
You know, and I can't...
00:24:44.65\00:24:48.28
I want to say
that there is a hope
00:24:48.32\00:24:51.95
that I have from the very
first part of my recovery,
00:24:51.99\00:24:55.32
then the very
first part of finding God
00:24:55.36\00:24:57.63
is my hope is the
day after resurrection.
00:24:57.66\00:25:00.20
When we woke up
00:25:00.23\00:25:01.76
and we don't
have these diseases,
00:25:01.80\00:25:03.63
we don't have this spectrum,
00:25:03.67\00:25:05.03
we don't have
hearts that don't work
00:25:05.07\00:25:07.24
and all that kind of stuff.
00:25:07.27\00:25:08.60
We really wake up on
the other side of all these,
00:25:08.64\00:25:11.44
but until we get
to the other side,
00:25:11.47\00:25:13.27
what keeps you alive,
00:25:13.31\00:25:14.64
what keeps you guys functioning,
00:25:14.68\00:25:16.08
what gives you hope
00:25:16.11\00:25:17.71
and what are you doing right now
00:25:17.75\00:25:19.78
'cause I know that, you know,
00:25:19.81\00:25:21.15
we don't have a lot of time,
00:25:21.18\00:25:22.52
but what are you doing right now
00:25:22.55\00:25:23.89
as for to help,
00:25:23.92\00:25:28.02
to help your son,
00:25:28.06\00:25:29.39
to help Andrew?
00:25:29.42\00:25:31.53
With Andrew I got it...
00:25:31.56\00:25:35.96
I networked,
00:25:36.00\00:25:38.33
I researched and met
as many people as I could,
00:25:38.37\00:25:42.64
read books,
00:25:42.67\00:25:44.97
tried to get as many services
00:25:45.01\00:25:48.04
as possible for him to help him
00:25:48.08\00:25:52.11
to be the best
person that he could be
00:25:52.15\00:25:55.28
'cause a lot of
us have a real worry.
00:25:55.32\00:25:58.59
We have a worry that, you know,
00:25:58.62\00:26:01.16
will my child be able to
when they are 18, 19 years old.
00:26:01.19\00:26:06.16
Will they be able to,
00:26:06.19\00:26:09.46
if you are
fortunate enough to be able
00:26:09.50\00:26:11.67
to go to college or university,
00:26:11.70\00:26:13.44
and if you are
not fortunate enough,
00:26:13.47\00:26:15.80
you are worrying about
00:26:15.84\00:26:17.51
will my son end
up in a group home
00:26:17.54\00:26:19.21
or in an institution,
00:26:19.24\00:26:20.88
who will take care
of them after I'm gone?
00:26:20.91\00:26:23.55
Will there be anybody to
care of them after I'm gone.
00:26:23.58\00:26:26.88
These are some huge fears.
00:26:26.92\00:26:31.55
That is hard to deal with
and I found for myself that...
00:26:31.59\00:26:37.56
I never blamed God.
00:26:37.59\00:26:39.09
Why?
00:26:39.13\00:26:40.46
'Cause I didn't
think it was him.
00:26:40.50\00:26:41.83
Okay.
00:26:41.86\00:26:43.20
I believed it's sin
00:26:43.23\00:26:45.93
and everything
that comes with it.
00:26:45.97\00:26:48.00
You know, and I have
that same belief, Lisa,
00:26:48.04\00:26:50.27
so I'm glad you said
that is that sometimes
00:26:50.31\00:26:52.11
we want to blame God like
why did you let this happen?
00:26:52.14\00:26:54.81
Why did things like
this happen to kids?
00:26:54.84\00:26:57.11
And we do live in a
world that is damaged,
00:26:57.15\00:26:59.91
and we are hurting
ourselves and the world.
00:26:59.95\00:27:02.98
I mean, even the
water is polluted
00:27:03.02\00:27:04.85
in a lot of places.
00:27:04.89\00:27:06.39
You know, I'm
looking at what happened
00:27:06.42\00:27:09.12
just recently in the news where,
00:27:09.16\00:27:11.23
you know, there
is lead in the water
00:27:11.26\00:27:12.93
and that's causing
disabilities to these kids
00:27:12.96\00:27:15.53
that are off the chart,
00:27:15.56\00:27:16.97
so I really
believe that God is that,
00:27:17.00\00:27:19.33
and supporting here.
00:27:19.37\00:27:20.94
But I still, I look at you
00:27:20.97\00:27:22.87
and I'm thinking
that when I talked to you,
00:27:22.90\00:27:24.74
every time I've talked to
you, I see a woman of hope,
00:27:24.77\00:27:28.71
I see you're driven,
00:27:28.74\00:27:30.25
you're looking
for the next thing
00:27:30.28\00:27:31.95
and the next thing.
00:27:31.98\00:27:33.31
How do you do that
day in and day out?
00:27:33.35\00:27:38.19
Prayer,
00:27:38.22\00:27:40.16
at first every day
00:27:40.19\00:27:43.09
I'm always
talking to God in my mind,
00:27:43.12\00:27:45.76
you know, "Lord,
please give me wisdom,
00:27:45.79\00:27:49.93
please give me strength,
00:27:49.96\00:27:52.13
help me to deal with
00:27:52.17\00:27:54.37
whatever I need
to deal with today.
00:27:54.40\00:27:57.11
Help me to be the
best person that I can be.
00:27:57.14\00:28:00.81
Help me to reach out to
whoever I need to reach out to.
00:28:00.84\00:28:04.28
Help me to help my
family and so forth."
00:28:04.31\00:28:08.95
I know from everything
00:28:08.98\00:28:11.25
that I've gone
through in my life that,
00:28:11.29\00:28:14.16
I can't deny God
00:28:14.19\00:28:15.76
'cause I know he is there
00:28:15.79\00:28:17.46
'cause when I
couldn't do it, he carried me.
00:28:17.49\00:28:20.20
So I can't deny, he is there.
00:28:20.23\00:28:22.93
So in the midst
of this situation
00:28:22.96\00:28:25.67
where you're saying not a...
00:28:25.70\00:28:27.44
hardly anybody has
the answers for me.
00:28:27.47\00:28:30.04
Nobody can tell me, you know,
00:28:30.07\00:28:31.41
just you've given this,
00:28:31.44\00:28:32.77
just have them do this,
00:28:32.81\00:28:34.14
just feed him well,
he is gonna be well,
00:28:34.18\00:28:36.51
nobody is saying
any of that stuff.
00:28:36.54\00:28:38.85
You say God has faithful.
00:28:38.88\00:28:40.65
God as faithful.
00:28:40.68\00:28:43.12
Right now, how old is he now?
00:28:43.15\00:28:44.62
Andrew is 13.
00:28:44.65\00:28:45.99
Thirteen? And
you had another son?
00:28:46.02\00:28:47.52
I had another son William.
00:28:47.56\00:28:49.02
And William, is he
dealing with autism?
00:28:49.06\00:28:51.93
Yes, he is.
00:28:51.96\00:28:53.29
So you have two
sons That's right
00:28:53.33\00:28:55.13
Both dealing with
autism That's right.
00:28:55.16\00:28:56.97
So when you shut the
door now, you're saying it,
00:28:57.00\00:29:01.47
you take that and
it's not twice as intense.
00:29:01.50\00:29:06.07
'cause some people say
00:29:06.11\00:29:07.44
that's probably
twice as intense.
00:29:07.48\00:29:09.34
No at times it's
probably off the chart.
00:29:09.38\00:29:13.55
Yes.
00:29:13.58\00:29:16.48
Well with, with the boys
00:29:16.52\00:29:19.62
and their autism
they are very different.
00:29:19.65\00:29:23.79
William is able to
talk and William...
00:29:23.83\00:29:30.40
Let me show, let me see William
00:29:30.43\00:29:32.00
'cause William is, is...
00:29:32.03\00:29:33.84
so cute. Thank you.
00:29:37.54\00:29:39.34
So this is William,
00:29:42.54\00:29:43.88
and he is very
different than Andrew.
00:29:43.91\00:29:47.48
He loves to learn,
his fun is learning.
00:29:47.52\00:29:52.09
It's like A, B, C's, numbers,
00:29:52.12\00:29:54.42
shapes, colors, safari animals,
00:29:54.46\00:29:56.83
planets, you name it,
00:29:56.86\00:29:58.19
he loves to learn it.
00:29:58.23\00:30:00.16
But he also has
attention seeking behaviors.
00:30:00.20\00:30:03.37
So he might
00:30:03.40\00:30:07.34
for instance go
into your bathroom
00:30:07.37\00:30:09.87
and take your
shampoo and conditioner
00:30:09.90\00:30:11.71
and completely cover
the floor and the tub.
00:30:11.74\00:30:13.68
That's just one example. Yeah.
00:30:18.21\00:30:20.38
I mean, you know,
00:30:20.42\00:30:21.92
he could take pair of scissors
and poke holes in the walls.
00:30:21.95\00:30:26.92
He is a picker.
00:30:26.96\00:30:28.29
So, and what I mean by...
00:30:28.32\00:30:29.69
Where he picks himself?
00:30:29.72\00:30:31.53
Well, he will, say for instance,
00:30:31.56\00:30:33.70
if he had chapped lips,
00:30:33.73\00:30:35.06
he would pick,
and pick, and pick
00:30:35.10\00:30:36.43
until they are
rock or if he saw like,
00:30:36.46\00:30:40.10
say for instance if he
poked a hole in the wall
00:30:40.14\00:30:41.94
and then there was
a hole and shaving.
00:30:41.97\00:30:44.87
So he keeps picking,
00:30:44.91\00:30:46.24
and picking up
the hole in the wall.
00:30:46.27\00:30:47.88
So he does all
kinds of different things.
00:30:47.91\00:30:51.01
Safety, he doesn't realize
00:30:51.05\00:30:53.08
when he run out in the street
you can get hit and killed.
00:30:53.11\00:30:56.92
So, and he did
leave our house one day.
00:30:56.95\00:31:01.89
He left our house
00:31:01.92\00:31:03.39
and I really
believe God was with him.
00:31:03.43\00:31:08.16
He left our house
00:31:08.20\00:31:10.03
and my husband and I
went out looking for him
00:31:10.07\00:31:13.54
in our neighborhood right around
00:31:13.57\00:31:15.14
and we went to
the neighbors and,
00:31:15.17\00:31:16.64
you know, we explained
to them, our son has autism.
00:31:16.67\00:31:19.57
This is what he looks like.
00:31:19.61\00:31:21.14
Have you seen him and so forth?
00:31:21.18\00:31:23.28
And my husband was like,
00:31:23.31\00:31:25.75
I'm gonna get into the truck
00:31:25.78\00:31:27.15
and I'm gonna
start driving around
00:31:27.18\00:31:28.78
the neighborhood
to see where he is.
00:31:28.82\00:31:30.49
So he started to
get out of his truck
00:31:30.52\00:31:31.85
while I was
going to the neighbors
00:31:31.89\00:31:33.22
and all of a sudden
00:31:33.25\00:31:34.59
as I was coming out
of neighbor's house.
00:31:34.62\00:31:36.02
I had seen a police
car come by our street,
00:31:36.06\00:31:38.89
and so I thought,
00:31:38.93\00:31:40.26
I'm gonna run up
to the police car
00:31:40.30\00:31:41.63
and tell them
because my next step was,
00:31:41.66\00:31:43.37
I was gonna call 911
and tell them the situation.
00:31:43.40\00:31:46.33
So I went out to the policemen,
00:31:46.37\00:31:49.37
and I told them the situation
00:31:49.40\00:31:50.87
and he says, oh, he says,
00:31:50.91\00:31:52.24
"I think I know
where your son is" so...
00:31:52.27\00:31:56.88
Don't you loved that smile,
00:31:56.91\00:31:58.41
you think, no what is he going?
00:31:58.45\00:32:01.35
So he says,
00:32:01.38\00:32:02.72
"Hop in and I'll take
you to where I think he is."
00:32:02.75\00:32:04.92
Yes.
00:32:04.95\00:32:06.29
So I got in the
car with the policeman
00:32:06.32\00:32:07.86
and he had taken me up
at least 4 or 5 streets
00:32:07.89\00:32:11.93
and over and what
my son had done was is,
00:32:11.96\00:32:16.03
he had gone all the
way across the streets,
00:32:16.06\00:32:18.87
went into another street
00:32:18.90\00:32:20.24
and there just
happened to be a family
00:32:20.27\00:32:22.90
who had just moved
into the neighborhood
00:32:22.94\00:32:25.11
and they were having
a house warming party.
00:32:25.14\00:32:27.64
And so there was people there
00:32:27.68\00:32:32.01
and the door happened to be open
00:32:32.05\00:32:35.08
and so he went in the house,
00:32:35.12\00:32:37.02
so we went up the stairs
00:32:37.05\00:32:38.52
and right down to
the end of the hallway
00:32:38.55\00:32:40.86
and grandma was laying in bed,
00:32:40.89\00:32:42.32
and all of a sudden,
00:32:42.36\00:32:43.69
she's seen this little
boy come in and it's like,
00:32:43.73\00:32:46.06
who are you type of idea.
00:32:46.09\00:32:48.00
And of course with William,
00:32:48.03\00:32:50.80
he can talk but he is
not going to tell you well,
00:32:50.83\00:32:54.34
my name is William Eliuk
00:32:54.37\00:32:55.80
and I live such and such, right.
00:32:55.84\00:32:57.81
So he is not talking,
00:32:57.84\00:32:59.34
he is not saying
anything to anybody and,
00:32:59.37\00:33:02.41
but he did bring
his iPad with him.
00:33:02.44\00:33:04.38
So they are looking to see
if there is any identification
00:33:04.41\00:33:06.98
and there wasn't,
00:33:07.02\00:33:08.35
so they are trying to figure out
00:33:08.38\00:33:09.72
"Who is this little boy
and where did he come from?"
00:33:09.75\00:33:11.72
right?
00:33:11.75\00:33:13.09
And they knew there is
something little different
00:33:13.12\00:33:14.96
so one of the ladies
who happened to be there,
00:33:14.99\00:33:17.23
she said, "I have a
friend with the child
00:33:17.26\00:33:19.09
who is autism
00:33:19.13\00:33:20.56
and I have a feeling this
is the child with autism."
00:33:20.60\00:33:23.53
And so they had
made the connection
00:33:23.57\00:33:25.97
and had called
the police station
00:33:26.00\00:33:28.14
and so that's what
made the cruiser come out
00:33:28.17\00:33:30.14
and when I saw the cruiser,
00:33:30.17\00:33:32.51
I had just
happened to see the cruiser,
00:33:32.54\00:33:34.51
and you know, ran up
to them waving my hand,
00:33:34.54\00:33:37.11
and so it all worked together.
00:33:37.15\00:33:39.31
So that's why I say,
00:33:39.35\00:33:40.68
I really believe
God was working with us
00:33:40.72\00:33:44.15
so that he didn't get hurt
and so I made the connection.
00:33:44.19\00:33:47.79
Right.
00:33:47.82\00:33:49.39
I'm gonna for once
say, man, I can't even,
00:33:49.42\00:33:53.53
that your strength
just is amazing to me,
00:33:53.56\00:33:55.66
it's inspiring to me, I can't,
00:33:55.70\00:33:57.13
because I don't know
00:33:57.17\00:33:58.50
what I feels like
to be in your skin.
00:33:58.53\00:33:59.97
I don't know what it feels
like when you shut those doors.
00:34:00.00\00:34:02.54
But I do know that
you love these kids.
00:34:02.57\00:34:04.91
And so we're going to come back,
00:34:04.94\00:34:06.91
we have like 3 minutes and I,
00:34:06.94\00:34:08.81
you're doing a fund raiser,
00:34:08.84\00:34:10.18
I want to talk
about when we come back.
00:34:10.21\00:34:11.55
I don't do this
much on this program
00:34:11.58\00:34:13.72
but I'm gonna talk
about that when we come back.
00:34:13.75\00:34:15.28
Will you join me? Yes.
00:34:15.32\00:34:16.92
We're gonna take a break.
00:34:16.95\00:34:18.62
Sometimes there is no bow,
there is no way to tie this up,
00:34:18.65\00:34:21.69
there is no way to say
and everything is all good.
00:34:21.72\00:34:25.63
The only thing I can say about
00:34:25.66\00:34:27.00
some of our circumstances
is that we get up anyway.
00:34:27.03\00:34:30.67
We get up anyway, we
learn what we have to do,
00:34:30.70\00:34:33.30
we get through the
day, and we love our kids.
00:34:33.34\00:34:36.44
We'll be right back,
00:34:36.47\00:34:37.81
stay with us
Celebrating Life In Recovery.
00:34:37.84\00:34:39.37