The following program
discusses sensitive issues
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related to addictive behavior.
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Parents are cautioned
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that some
material may be too candid
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for younger children.
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There are times in your life
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where you just gonna want to run
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but you know you cannot.
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You know that everything in
you has to step up to the fight.
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Everything in you
has to be present,
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and you know I've
got a friend here Lisa
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and that's her life.
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Everything in her
wanted to run but she didn't.
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Welcome to
Celebrating Life in Recovery
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and my name is Cheri.
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Come join us in the café(C)
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because this one I
think is life changing.
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Welcome, like I said,
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"Some fights that
you can't run from."
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And I want to talk about,
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there was a time
where I was invited
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to go to a Banning Street.
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And Banning Street
was just an out risk area,
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there was a lot of drug addicts.
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If you're gonna talk
about police or arrest
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or any of that kind of stuff,
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it happened
around Banning Street.
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And so when somebody asked
me, it was way into my recovery.
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I end up getting
dressed at a church gig
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and I show up
at a Banning Street
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with that person
that does ministry there.
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And I look like Mary Poppins,
I mean it was just ridiculous.
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I should've had an umbrella,
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I mean I just
look so ridiculous.
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But you know, these kids
just kind of looked at me like,
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you know, who are you?
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And what do you want?
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And they think I
am a social worker,
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they are not trusting me.
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I'm coming to talk with parents,
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and I wanna invite them
to the meetings at night.
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And so, I'm just
praying my like God, crazy.
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I'm praying like crazy,
and I felt like at one point,
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I would try to remember
every prayer that I ever heard,
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like a real
missionary person say
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'cause I always felt like
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you know, who am
I doing in ministry.
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I'm like an addict in recovery.
I've got all this baggage.
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But I'm trying to think of
who I heard that was really good
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and I started to pray
just like them, I said,
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"God go before us
and open all the doors."
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I don't know if you
ever heard that prayer,
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but I thought that's
a good prayer you know.
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And so I walked in the
middle of this apartment complex
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and there's
little stairs going up
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to the top level apartments
and in the bottom level
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and I'm in the
middle of this court yard.
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And I'm saying
open all the doors,
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and the kids are yelling
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trying to figure out who we are,
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and they are talking,
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and I am saying that I
wanna meet your family,
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and is your mom home,
and I mean they're druggies.
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The police are there,
when we first pulled in,
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had pulled someone
over was frisking some guy.
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I mean it was just
that kind of environment
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and as I was
praying open all the doors.
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I looked up and
because of the noise,
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people came out and
all the doors were open,
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and I just
couldn't even breathe.
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I thought what if
God listens to us,
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you know, what
if he is hearing us?
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What if our prayers
are not going unanswered?
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And so you know,
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we always call them the
hostages of Banning Street.
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They were
hostages, when I came down,
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and started talking to
people for the first time.
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I said, you know,
I am speaking in town
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and I'd like to
invite you to the meetings.
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And all the sudden all
these addicts are coming down.
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They literally
had, you know, some,
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one woman was shooting
up so many times in her arm,
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she had a abscesses
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and literally pus
dripping from her arm
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because she's just an addict,
people in and out of jail.
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Kids saying that
my dad is in jail
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but I think my mom's home,
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you know, all
that kind of stuff.
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And so I think that
they were really held hostage
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in their addiction.
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They were held
hostage in their environment,
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they did come to our meetings,
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I would love to
just stay on this
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and talk about the
freedom that we felt that moment
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when the doors were opened
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and that night at the meetings
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from these hostages
from Banning Street.
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But what I want
you to think about
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is we're gonna talk
to a friend of mine Lisa,
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and Lisa is held hostage
in the whole different way.
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So I want to say to Lisa,
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for one welcome
to the program...
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Thank you... You
came here from Canada...
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Yes.
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And when I talk
about, that I am,
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I am kind of referring to
your situation and hostages,
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been held hostage does
that make sense at all?
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It makes total
sense, for my husband and I,
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there are times
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when you are
literally held hostage.
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Living with
children with special needs
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and particular with autism.
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There are special
needs that they have
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and one of
those areas is safety,
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and there are times
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when we are literally
held hostage in our house
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because we have to be careful
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because our sons
could just walk away.
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So we have to make
our house safe and secure,
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so that they
won't just walk away...
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So you're talking
things are lockdown...
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Yes, they are in a way that
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we know that they can't
get out but they're safe
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and sometimes it
does feel like a prison.
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And your husband
actually said that...
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Yeah, he says, I feel like I
am a prisoner in my own home.
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So I'll like to
find that who are you?
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Growing up, getting married,
and stepping into the awareness
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that you're
gonna be dealing with
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some pretty intense situations.
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And we're going through a book
this season, Victory in Jesus.
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And there's one
chapter that I love
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'cause one chapter it
says, you know, it's almost like
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what is the most
important daily habit.
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So here is the book
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that we're going
through all season, right.
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What's the most
important daily habit?
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And I think the most important
daily habit is to get up
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and know who God is...
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Yes.
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You know, not
who I can be today,
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and what are my
strength is today.
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And what I can
muster it up today,
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what I can figure it out
today, but who is God today.
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And so, you know,
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tell us a little
bit about who you are?
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How you fell in love?
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And now what are
you dealing with?
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I grew up in a small town
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in New Brunswick, in
Canada on the east coast.
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I had parents who
were Seventh-day Adventist,
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so I had grown up in the church.
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I went to Alberta for college,
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and that's where
I met my husband...
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In college... Yes, in college...
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How romantic.
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Yes, we just happen to
meet through mutual friends.
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And our backgrounds
were very different.
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I was raised as a Christian.
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And my husband had not
been raised as a Christian
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but he has found
his faith later on.
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And we met at college and
we got married and studied.
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And so when you met at college,
I bet you were beautiful,
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'cause you are beautiful now.
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So fall in love,
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decide that the
differences weren't too great,
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and did your family love him...?
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Well, with my
family, my mother had died
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when I was 19
years old of cancer...
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I am sorry...
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So my husband never actually
got a chance to meet my mother.
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And my husband's family,
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they had been a newly
divorced about a year or so.
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So for both of us, my
family wasn't able to come
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to see us get married,
and then my husband's family
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because of the new
divorce that was hard to.
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So we actually
ended up eloping...
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Yeah, so it's really interesting
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'cause even when
you're telling the story,
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you go all the way
to college, and meeting,
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and yet you said
goodbye to your mom at 19.
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You know, what was that like?
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I mean 'cause we don't realize
the things that actually start
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to either break us
down or make us stronger.
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But I mean all of
those things happened.
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I can't imagine
saying goodbye to your mom,
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I have a daughter and...
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It was extremely hard.
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Things were
falling apart around us
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as far as emotionally,
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my dad was taking it very badly.
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It was during Christmas break
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when I was supposed
to go back to college,
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and I had to make a decision.
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Do I stay until
my mother passes away
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or do I go back to
college and it was very hard
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'cause I didn't know what to do,
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and I really didn't have
anybody much to advise me.
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And so I finally decided
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that I was gonna
go back to college,
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because my mom was at that time,
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I wasn't even sure she
knew who I was anymore...
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Okay...
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And so I did go back,
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and then 10 days
later she passed away,
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and I had to go back
home and be a part of it.
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I can't even, I can't
imagine, how you must have felt
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in that 19 year old walking in
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now having to be a
full adult and sane,
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you know, and I know,
I'm going to bury my mom...
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It was very hard.
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I really felt
alone, I felt alone.
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And I had one sister,
she's 16 years older than I.
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So at least I had her,
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and her family
but I didn't stay.
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I went back to
Alberta to go to college,
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and I was really on my own then.
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Right, and so you
go back to college,
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you are in a relationship
at that point or not yet...
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Not with my husband, Okay.
00:10:01.20\00:10:03.26
And so at that
point I went back.
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And I was having a
really difficult time,
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for almost two years
I called the dark years
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'cause that's
really how I remember it.
00:10:15.68\00:10:17.51
So you're talking
about depression, stress.
00:10:17.55\00:10:19.71
Depression.
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Trying to get through
everyday, I just got to get up,
00:10:21.12\00:10:22.82
I just got to study, I
got to try to concentrate.
00:10:22.85\00:10:25.69
I got into things
that I'm not proud of.
00:10:25.72\00:10:30.03
I started drinking and partying
and it was on a daily basis.
00:10:30.06\00:10:34.40
And I just couldn't
deal with the grief,
00:10:34.43\00:10:38.30
I couldn't deal with it.
00:10:38.33\00:10:39.70
And sometimes
when I would drink,
00:10:39.73\00:10:42.77
it would come out.
00:10:42.80\00:10:44.44
And I remember one time
00:10:44.47\00:10:49.64
that I had gotten
into a situation like that,
00:10:49.68\00:10:52.75
where I'd been
drinking, and I woke up,
00:10:52.78\00:10:57.62
I had passed out, and I woke up,
00:10:57.65\00:10:59.79
and I was like you know,
00:10:59.82\00:11:01.62
God why did this happened to me?
00:11:01.66\00:11:04.66
Why did you do this to me?
00:11:04.69\00:11:07.03
And you know, how do
I deal with this pain?
00:11:07.06\00:11:11.50
And I know
different people thought that,
00:11:11.53\00:11:14.54
you know, I wasn't with
God, but actually really was.
00:11:14.57\00:11:17.77
I was trying so
hard through all of it
00:11:17.81\00:11:22.08
to hold on and to
understand what was going on
00:11:22.11\00:11:27.42
and I didn't get through
it myself, he carried me.
00:11:27.45\00:11:33.62
Absolutely. And
that's how I look at it.
00:11:33.66\00:11:36.16
And I love when you say
00:11:36.19\00:11:37.53
'cause it's so important
for people to hear that is,
00:11:37.56\00:11:39.23
I and most people would
say God wasn't with you,
00:11:39.26\00:11:41.63
that God left you, and man,
00:11:41.66\00:11:44.53
I think we would
fall apart if God left us.
00:11:44.57\00:11:46.80
You know, I think we
wouldn't be surviving,
00:11:46.84\00:11:48.60
we wouldn't be able to breathe.
00:11:48.64\00:11:50.21
And so when you said that,
you know, I didn't have a place
00:11:50.24\00:11:53.68
where I could talk
about the pain or the grief
00:11:53.71\00:11:55.84
or where I
could walk in and say,
00:11:55.88\00:11:57.21
you know what,
00:11:57.25\00:11:58.58
I don't think I am
gonna survive today.
00:11:58.61\00:11:59.95
And so with no place,
00:11:59.98\00:12:02.15
you're gonna try to
figure out something that works
00:12:02.18\00:12:04.09
and for you it was alcohol,
relationships, partying.
00:12:04.12\00:12:08.56
And what's really
tough is it doesn't work.
00:12:08.59\00:12:11.43
Exactly.
00:12:11.46\00:12:12.79
It doesn't work, you know,
and if it worked, I would say,
00:12:12.83\00:12:14.76
you know, everybody grab a beer.
00:12:14.80\00:12:17.57
You know what I mean,
just you know go get some pot.
00:12:17.60\00:12:19.57
You know, but you know to me
00:12:19.60\00:12:21.57
it's such a lie
that that's gonna work.
00:12:21.60\00:12:24.01
What that's gonna do
00:12:24.04\00:12:25.37
is compound problem
after problem after problem,
00:12:25.41\00:12:27.21
and you were going to
waste your life, give up years.
00:12:27.24\00:12:30.65
And so you gave
up a couple of years,
00:12:30.68\00:12:32.78
and you still now have
to deal with your grief...
00:12:32.81\00:12:34.88
I still have to and
I really believe that
00:12:34.92\00:12:40.69
my husband came along
at the right time for me.
00:12:40.72\00:12:43.89
And I just told
him that, you know,
00:12:43.93\00:12:49.23
you came along at
a point in my life
00:12:49.26\00:12:51.30
where I needed someone
00:12:51.33\00:12:53.57
to put me on the
straight and narrow,
00:12:53.60\00:12:55.67
and to help me.
00:12:55.70\00:12:57.34
And he was there for me
00:12:57.37\00:12:59.41
when I really
needed him the most.
00:12:59.44\00:13:02.34
Somebody you could talk to...
00:13:02.38\00:13:03.71
Yes.
00:13:03.75\00:13:05.08
Somebody you could
say, you know, whatever.
00:13:05.11\00:13:07.28
That's right. I hurt.
00:13:07.32\00:13:09.68
He was there for me,
00:13:09.72\00:13:11.49
I am lost and he
was there for me.
00:13:11.52\00:13:16.12
He was a beautiful person.
00:13:16.16\00:13:18.26
I knew he cared about
me. I knew he loved me
00:13:18.29\00:13:21.43
and I wouldn't
be where I am today
00:13:21.46\00:13:24.43
without him.
00:13:24.47\00:13:25.80
So you guys get married,
sons, beautiful, perfect...
00:13:25.83\00:13:32.41
You know where
I'm going. Yeah, I do.
00:13:32.44\00:13:38.45
Well, we got
married and of course it...
00:13:38.48\00:13:44.32
We just couldn't
afford a lot. Yeah.
00:13:44.35\00:13:46.62
Because neither one of
us had the finances to do.
00:13:46.65\00:13:49.42
And we didn't have family
00:13:49.46\00:13:51.56
to really be able to
be there to support us.
00:13:51.59\00:13:54.73
But we wanted to be
together and we believed that
00:13:54.76\00:13:58.30
if we want to
have a relationship,
00:13:58.33\00:13:59.90
we want to be committed
00:13:59.93\00:14:01.27
and we believe that
was through marriage.
00:14:01.30\00:14:03.30
And love conquers all.
00:14:03.34\00:14:04.67
If we have love,
we have everything.
00:14:04.71\00:14:06.44
That's what we
think when we're young.
00:14:06.47\00:14:08.04
So yes that's
how we started out.
00:14:11.78\00:14:13.72
We were going through college.
00:14:13.75\00:14:16.85
He was taking
theology at the time.
00:14:16.89\00:14:19.79
Awesome.
00:14:19.82\00:14:21.16
And so I was
doing secretarial arts,
00:14:21.19\00:14:24.89
and then things changed for us.
00:14:24.93\00:14:31.07
In what way?
00:14:31.10\00:14:35.37
At the time we had thought
00:14:35.40\00:14:37.21
that my husband
was going to end up
00:14:37.24\00:14:40.38
being a pastor, and it
didn't happen that way.
00:14:40.41\00:14:45.55
And so I am confused because,
he was in theology school,
00:14:45.58\00:14:50.45
everything is going fine.
00:14:50.49\00:14:52.05
So what would
have got in the way?
00:14:52.09\00:14:53.56
What would have stopped him
00:14:53.59\00:14:54.92
from actually
stepping into a calling?
00:14:54.96\00:14:58.29
He didn't happen to
get a call at the time
00:14:58.33\00:15:00.96
and due to that fact,
00:15:01.00\00:15:05.53
he didn't end up going
into the ministry at the time.
00:15:05.57\00:15:08.74
So once he finished school,
00:15:08.77\00:15:10.24
most people will get
a call from somewhere,
00:15:10.27\00:15:12.17
a lot of people and
so for whatever reason,
00:15:12.21\00:15:14.24
he didn't.
00:15:14.28\00:15:15.61
He did have two places that had,
00:15:15.64\00:15:19.48
were looking at giving
a pastor an opportunity,
00:15:19.51\00:15:24.69
but what happened was
is on one of those calls,
00:15:24.72\00:15:28.59
instead of getting a pastor
the church actually closed
00:15:28.62\00:15:32.69
and the other
opportunity diminished.
00:15:32.73\00:15:36.23
And so it was
devastating because he had...
00:15:36.26\00:15:40.07
It's a lot of school.
00:15:40.10\00:15:41.44
It's a lot of
school, student loans
00:15:41.47\00:15:44.04
'cause his family
wasn't able to support.
00:15:44.07\00:15:46.78
And I was
pregnant with my daughter
00:15:46.81\00:15:50.38
at the time
00:15:50.41\00:15:51.75
and we were
really looking forward
00:15:51.78\00:15:53.85
to going into the
ministry in that way,
00:15:53.88\00:15:56.75
and doing that,
and it didn't happened.
00:15:56.79\00:16:01.16
And so that summer we
were very discouraged,
00:16:01.19\00:16:06.86
but we were still trying.
00:16:06.90\00:16:08.63
But then, you
know, it didn't happened
00:16:08.66\00:16:10.53
so it's like okay well now,
what do we do with our lives,
00:16:10.57\00:16:12.93
what are we gonna do?
00:16:12.97\00:16:14.47
So in that time,
00:16:14.50\00:16:15.87
'cause we're
talking about that kind of
00:16:15.90\00:16:17.31
daily leaning on God
and being able to say,
00:16:17.34\00:16:20.11
'cause I know,
00:16:20.14\00:16:21.48
what it feels
like to be discouraged.
00:16:21.51\00:16:22.84
I know what it feels
like to be going like am I,
00:16:22.88\00:16:24.61
did I just not get it.
00:16:24.65\00:16:26.18
Did I not read that right,
00:16:26.21\00:16:28.08
and so what is
your spiritual life,
00:16:28.12\00:16:30.05
are you still
able to hold on to God.
00:16:30.09\00:16:32.59
Were you
discouraged, were you hopeful?
00:16:32.62\00:16:36.12
Were you still praying together?
00:16:36.16\00:16:40.16
We were discouraged,
00:16:40.20\00:16:41.90
but we were
still praying about it,
00:16:41.93\00:16:44.37
we're still hoping
from day to day, you know,
00:16:44.40\00:16:48.14
if this isn't to be a call
then what are we do to next.
00:16:48.17\00:16:53.17
So, and that took a
different turn for us,
00:16:53.21\00:16:57.21
I had my daughter and...
00:16:57.25\00:17:00.22
Have fun... Yes.
00:17:00.25\00:17:02.38
'Cause even we call it or
not call that is incredible
00:17:02.42\00:17:04.65
to have a baby in the house...
00:17:04.69\00:17:06.55
And she was our first child
00:17:06.59\00:17:09.42
and it was pretty
incredible to have faith.
00:17:09.46\00:17:15.96
And so, since we had had faith,
00:17:16.00\00:17:20.54
we decided on
giving our daughter
00:17:20.57\00:17:22.80
the name of Faith.
00:17:22.84\00:17:24.17
Okay, Amen.
00:17:24.21\00:17:25.54
So, we decided to figure okay,
00:17:25.57\00:17:30.01
what are we gonna do
with our lives after that.
00:17:30.05\00:17:32.28
And so I decided that I
was going to take a look
00:17:32.31\00:17:36.55
at going back at school.
00:17:36.58\00:17:39.12
And so I had done a lot of
research on different careers
00:17:39.15\00:17:43.19
what I thought maybe I
could do or what I wanted to do
00:17:43.22\00:17:46.03
or felt led to do.
00:17:46.06\00:17:47.96
And in the end I went to a
Canadian University College,
00:17:48.00\00:17:52.83
it's Burman
University now and I...
00:17:52.87\00:17:55.50
I spoke there, I
love that college
00:17:55.54\00:17:57.11
and beautiful area...
00:17:57.14\00:17:58.57
Yes, and at the
time, he is retired now,
00:17:58.61\00:18:02.08
but the professor
00:18:02.11\00:18:04.61
that I talked to
is Keith Leavitt.
00:18:04.65\00:18:07.08
And I went in and
I talked with him,
00:18:07.12\00:18:09.88
and talked with
him about my story
00:18:09.92\00:18:13.15
and about education
and I just really felt led
00:18:13.19\00:18:17.53
that I was gonna
go to college there.
00:18:17.56\00:18:20.00
And that I was gonna
take elementary education,
00:18:20.03\00:18:22.53
and so that's what I did.
00:18:22.56\00:18:24.30
Incredible, so
everything is going well.
00:18:24.33\00:18:27.10
Faith is born.
00:18:27.14\00:18:28.60
You are back in school,
00:18:28.64\00:18:31.27
your husband,
what's his first name?
00:18:31.31\00:18:32.64
Mark. Mark is he working?
00:18:32.67\00:18:35.78
He was working some out of town
00:18:35.81\00:18:40.78
back and forth.
00:18:40.82\00:18:42.68
I was going to school,
00:18:42.72\00:18:45.12
I was doing six
classes at a time
00:18:45.15\00:18:47.76
and raising my
daughter at the same time.
00:18:47.79\00:18:50.33
And fortunately
I had some cousins
00:18:50.36\00:18:54.16
that were living nearby.
00:18:54.20\00:18:55.66
So they helped
me with child care
00:18:55.70\00:18:57.63
and then I
worked in the evenings
00:18:57.67\00:18:59.00
too full time at our canteen
00:18:59.03\00:19:00.77
and our cafeteria on the campus.
00:19:00.80\00:19:04.21
So trying to get my degree
00:19:04.24\00:19:06.98
as quickly as
possible and finish.
00:19:07.01\00:19:09.61
Okay did you finish? Yes, I did.
00:19:09.64\00:19:11.81
All right, congratulations.
00:19:11.85\00:19:14.28
Thank you.
00:19:14.32\00:19:15.65
Okay, you know what,
I would like to break,
00:19:15.68\00:19:17.95
'cause I'd like to go on break.
00:19:17.99\00:19:19.32
And I'd like to
come back because I know
00:19:19.35\00:19:21.69
that things really
start to turn for you guys,
00:19:21.72\00:19:26.46
and I don't want
to break that up.
00:19:26.49\00:19:30.37
So I am gonna go ahead and break
00:19:30.40\00:19:32.77
and I wanna just say this,
00:19:32.80\00:19:34.14
sometimes it's
really interesting
00:19:34.17\00:19:35.77
'cause a lot of
people will tell me
00:19:35.80\00:19:37.47
and I work with
the most amazing folks,
00:19:37.51\00:19:40.91
you know, Lisa, I
think you're amazing.
00:19:40.94\00:19:42.54
But I work with the most
amazing folks they will say,
00:19:42.58\00:19:45.28
you know, what I
just have a normal life
00:19:45.31\00:19:47.02
but then they talk about mothers
00:19:47.05\00:19:48.85
dying of cancer at 19
and being on their own,
00:19:48.88\00:19:51.69
and being afraid and
all of that kind of stuff.
00:19:51.72\00:19:54.39
And it's like I don't think
any of us have normal lives.
00:19:54.42\00:19:56.76
I don't think any
of us can escape by
00:19:56.79\00:19:59.23
and not have these
kind of everyday things
00:19:59.26\00:20:01.26
that we have to deal with.
00:20:01.30\00:20:02.66
And when we have
these everyday things.
00:20:02.70\00:20:04.40
When things are, kind
of overwhelming at times
00:20:04.43\00:20:09.97
and we kind of find out
how to walk through that.
00:20:10.01\00:20:12.54
When it actually ramps
up or that fire heats up,
00:20:12.57\00:20:15.91
what do we do next?
00:20:15.94\00:20:17.28
And so when we come back,
you're gonna hear some things
00:20:17.31\00:20:18.95
with Lisa that did heated up.
00:20:18.98\00:20:20.75
They really went from
the frying pan to the fire,
00:20:20.78\00:20:26.45
I mean, I know that's,
kind of a crazy thing to say,
00:20:26.49\00:20:28.49
but they really did.
00:20:28.52\00:20:29.86
So we will be
right back, stay with us,
00:20:29.89\00:20:31.46
see you on the other side.
00:20:31.49\00:20:32.83