The following program
discusses sensitive issues
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related to addictive behaviour.
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Parents are
cautioned that some material
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may be too candid
for younger children.
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Has someone ever
loved you so much
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that you just knew
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that as you
looked in their eyes,
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you were healing?
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Today's program is
gonna be about that.
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Welcome to
Celebrating Life in Recovery.
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And come join us in the cafe.
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Welcome to
Celebrating Life in Recovery.
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You know what I
want to talk about
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before we even get
started on this program
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and introduce you
to those at the cafe,
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you're gonna
love everybody today.
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But I want to talk
about this whole season,
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we're studying a book
or going through a book
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called Victory in Jesus.
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And I've got to
just show it to you
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'cause it's just amazing.
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So Victory in Jesus
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and the whole
book is about grace,
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it's about God, it's
about, you know, am I enough?
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And it's like you shouldn't
really have to say that,
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you know, when you
come to God, are you enough?
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Is he crazy about you?
Does he know who you are?
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And I'm saying not only
does he know who you are,
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he knows who you are more
than you know who you are.
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You know in the
midst of our craziness
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and I can be crazy.
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I used to think
that I was crazy,
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you know, I think I still am.
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But I have a God
that says, you know what,
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I know that about you
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and I'm gonna get
you through every step.
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So we had somebody
on the show already,
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alcoholic, still drinking,
convicted sex offender,
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all of that kind of stuff,
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and when I say
convicted sex offender,
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this guy was with his
girlfriend in high school,
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unfortunately he
was 18 and she was not
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and he's registered
for last, man 1000 years.
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I mean his whole
life was changed,
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and so when you
talk about grace.
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Can he do anything that is
good enough for God right now?
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Because not
only was he convicted
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but he was not a
good kid before then.
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He was already
drinking, his mom was alcoholic,
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his house was crazy.
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He had to deal with
so many different things
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from the time he
was born till he was 18,
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that as he's acting out in party
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and wild and rebellious
and all that kind of stuff.
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His whole life was
already falling apart
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and then he gets this
arrest and imprisonment
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and now he is a sex offender
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and having to
deal with that stuff.
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It was crazy.
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When I asked him
to be on the program,
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I knew, that this guy is a mess.
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I knew that he doesn't
know where he's at spiritually,
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he still drinks just to survive
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and we're looking at
grace and he got it, he got it.
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Do you even, you know
for some of us to get it,
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to get that I
can't do anything more
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than what God's already
done, I can't be good enough.
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And I want to explain
it in the only way I know
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how to explain
that is through stories.
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And I want to
just say to you guys
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welcome to the cafe.
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I cant wait to
meet every single one
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and, Larry, welcome
back, we missed you,
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Iris too, Bob too, and
we got some new guests,
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we've got, you know
Donna and Connie and Verism,
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so I just can't
wait to introduce
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but I want to tell you a story.
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I...
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for most everybody knows,
you know I'm addict in recovery
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and have been just
a mess most my life.
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And actually most of my life.
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That's a lie, I've
been a mess all my life.
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But you know
I've just been a mess
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and when I found God
what was incredible to me
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is from the moment I
met him in a drug house
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trying to kill myself.
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He said I'm
absolutely crazy about you.
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And I couldn't believe it,
I'm thinking, I'm strung out.
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I've never done
anything good in my life,
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and all I know is God.
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He says, that's
okay, God says that's okay.
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I stood up in that.
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It gave me enough
courage to stand up.
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Not everybody was
looking at me like you're okay.
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You know what I mean
'cause I don't know how to talk
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and I don't know how to
be, and I don't know how to act
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and I don't fit in anywhere.
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You know I fit
in on the streets,
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I fit in with my friends
but I don't fit in over here,
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and yet God is
telling me to stand over here,
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sit over here, he was
crazy but years down the road,
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and I wish I could
tell you everything.
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But years down the road,
this woman comes up to me
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and she said, she
just caught me off guard.
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She says, Cheri, does
your momma love you yet?
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My mom's damaged and I love her.
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And, you know,
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my whole family is going
through their own recovery
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and their own
healing, and it's amazing,
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amazing to watch all that
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but she
doesn't, we never bonded.
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I don't know if she
knows how or I know how?
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I mean we just don't
know how to act or be and...
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but that moment when she said
that it caught me off guard,
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and I started to
cry and I'm not a crier.
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But I started to cry
and she just held me.
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And when she held me,
everything in me thought,
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I think I wanted to be
held like this my whole life,
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my whole life.
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And she said, I want
you to know that I love you.
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And I thought why?
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You know, it was
just a craziest thing.
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And later on, I
run into her again
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and she said you know,
I've talked to the whole family
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and I told them I
wanted to adopt a little girl.
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Can I adopt you? I thought what?
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You know, and how crazy
I'm looking at this woman,
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I'm like what, what
are you talking about?
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What do you mean?
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And I remember just feeling
that with everything in me,
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what do you mean?
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And she said, I'd
like to adopt you.
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I was 43 years old.
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You know I
don't even know is it,
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can you adopt somebody my age,
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you know, and she said I
like to adopt you and John,
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her husband is John Marcia
and John was just being me,
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almost like he
was at the hospital
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collecting the baby.
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You know what I mean?
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Just beaming, this
couple was just beaming.
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And I thought I don't know
this makes no sense to anybody
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but everything in me,
I wanted a mom, a family,
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my whole life, in
that moment I realized
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that the moment you said
that, the moment she held me,
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the moment I knew
was real, I realized that
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and I thought
"wow", and I went home
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and it was the craziest thing
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'cause within the next few days,
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I'm just checking my
mail and it was nothing,
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no big deal.
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I'm checking my mail
and I get a letter from her.
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And I didn't know where,
this is like for my new mom,
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how fun is this?
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And I opened it up,
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and it's a little birthday card,
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happy first birthday.
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And it was a little
kid's card and I thought,
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this is how crazy,
happy first birthday...
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I just want you to
know that I love you,
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and I thought man,
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and I just held that
card too close to my heart.
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Do you know what I
mean, I have that card
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and I'm thinking
what is she doing
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and within a
few days like a week
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I get another card
happy second birthday.
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And I thought no way,
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and she wrote a
little bit in it.
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And every single time
I felt that kind of love,
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it was healing,
it was so ridiculous,
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it was so ridiculous.
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And by the next week I
thought, you know what,
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I want to sit by the mailbox.
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I want to be there
when the mail comes,
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and I open up the third
one, when I was three years old
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was the most awareness I had
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of how much
abuse was in my home,
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of the sexual
abuse and addictions
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and the craziness and
all of that kind of stuff
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but I had an awareness of that.
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But I opened up this card
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and it was little
duck holding an umbrella.
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I still to this day,
it was the craziest thing
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that a little duck
holding an umbrella
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and it said
happy third birthday.
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And I wanted to weep.
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I opened it up and she
said I wish I was there
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because I would have held you.
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I would have told
you how beautiful you are
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and how loved you are
and I could not stop crying.
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I wept and wept and wept
and every part of me healed
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and so we're talking about
right now the grace of God.
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It's really interesting
'cause what this woman gave me
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was grace and love
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and this
unconditional acceptance,
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it was unbelievable.
00:08:51.66\00:08:53.16
But when somebody
says what does God expect
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when he gives you grace?
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What did Marcia
expect from me do you think?
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Anybody, you know what I learned
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is she didn't expect anything
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but in the fact
that she was loving me
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and I started to
be able to love her,
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she just smiled.
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She knew it was real
and she knew was healing
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that she knew I needed that.
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And so I think
that God is the same.
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We try to behave for God,
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and it's not that he
doesn't want us to change.
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Marcia did want me to change.
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She wanted me to be
able to receive love,
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she wanted me to stand
up and be in my own skin
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and know how to respond
her and God is the same.
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He's not saying I love
you and here's a check list.
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He said I love
you and relax in that.
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Be okay with that.
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It's gonna change
everything about you,
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not because I don't
love everything about you
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but because some
of it is so damaged
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that will always trip you up.
00:09:47.32\00:09:48.95
But in my love, you will heal
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and so we're
gonna talk about that,
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what we do for each other
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and allowing each other to heal,
00:09:54.86\00:09:56.42
but we're also gonna
talk about the grace of God,
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and what is our
response back to him
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'cause some people think
00:10:02.40\00:10:03.73
that they have fight to behave
for the rest of their life
00:10:03.77\00:10:05.77
as God won't like them.
00:10:05.80\00:10:07.60
You cannot get
God not to like you.
00:10:07.64\00:10:10.14
You can't, I
don't care who you are,
00:10:10.17\00:10:12.27
I don't care how
messed up you are,
00:10:12.31\00:10:13.81
you will not get
God not to like you.
00:10:13.84\00:10:16.54
It just can't
happen, he is love.
00:10:16.58\00:10:18.65
He did this whole thing,
00:10:18.68\00:10:20.12
set this whole thing in
motion to get you, to get that.
00:10:20.15\00:10:23.65
As soon as you get that
like what I got with Marcia,
00:10:23.69\00:10:26.32
you start to heal.
00:10:26.35\00:10:27.69
You start to relax in
the fact that you are loved
00:10:27.72\00:10:30.16
and you are okay.
00:10:30.19\00:10:31.56
And so I want to
say this whole season,
00:10:31.59\00:10:34.23
this whole
season, I want you to know
00:10:34.26\00:10:36.83
that you are
loved and you're okay.
00:10:36.87\00:10:39.37
We're gonna come right back.
00:10:39.40\00:10:40.74
I wanted to
introduce to our guests,
00:10:40.77\00:10:42.10
you're gonna love for...
00:10:42.14\00:10:43.47
I fell in love
with her on the phone.
00:10:43.51\00:10:45.57
The first time we
started talking about
00:10:45.61\00:10:47.41
what we were gonna
do on this program,
00:10:47.44\00:10:49.54
she won my heart.
00:10:49.58\00:10:50.91
So we'll be right back,
00:10:50.95\00:10:52.28
Celebrating Life in
Recovery, stay with us.
00:10:52.31\00:10:54.28