The following program
discusses sensitive issues
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related to addictive behavior.
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Parents are
cautioned that some material
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may be too candid
for younger children.
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Welcome back. I don't know why
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but I love
these kinds of stories
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not because I love what
happens to us in our lives
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but I love the fact that
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in the middle of
all of this insanity,
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in the middle of this
whole vortex of craziness
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that you have a God
that says, you know what?
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You are not out of my reach.
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I actually still see you.
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And I have a plan for your life
and I can change everything,
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and every single
time I see Him do it.
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Every single time,
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I watch
somebody change your life
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and actually get it and
just almost we're shaking hands,
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hand all of this over
and say can you fix it.
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And God says,
"Man I absolutely can."
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So you know,
we're talking about,
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you know, Rayne,
we are talking about
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your background
and dad imprisoned,
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mom out of control,
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being raised by
grandparents had no idea,
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even how to
speak to you at times.
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And then, your alcoholic mom,
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really kind of
crazy being out there
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doing whatever you wanted to do.
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And I love when you said
on that last segment is that
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you even like the
sound of things breaking.
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Because I think that
some people don't realize
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that when we're
angry and all of that stuff
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is I want to break something,
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I want to scream,
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I want to go out
there and wreak havoc.
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You know, if I
can steal your car,
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I'm gonna steal your car,
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it's like, you know,
kids coming out of all
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of that anger is
almost a natural response
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is somebody's gonna pay.
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You know, somebody's gonna pay
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and I'm gonna
have fun, you know.
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And so now
you're in high school,
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not a great student
and what happens next?
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I was my two months
into my senior year.
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That was just
another Friday night,
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me and buddy just
looking for the party.
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I get a call from
some girls we know
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and they want to hang
out and drink a little bit
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and listen to music what not so.
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We're out there in the field
and had the music up, drank.
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Now one thing led to another,
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me and one of the
girls and we messed around.
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Then it was a good night.
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And you know, we split our ways.
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Next day I get a call
from sheriff's office,
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want to talk to me.
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Oh, my God, I'm gonna
have some trouble for drinking.
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So I came in there and
they asked some questions.
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I told them whole
story about, you know,
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I brought pills,
we were drinking,
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but then they started questions
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but actually my
style is little bizarre
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but I told
everything that happened
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between me and her.
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They said, "Write a statement,
and we'll let you go."
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I'm like okay so I
wrote the statement out.
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So at this point
you're saying you know that
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we're probably in
trouble for drinking.
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Absolutely, yeah.
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As soon as I
wrote the statement out,
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I signed it,
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they arrested me immediately
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and told me I was being charged
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with indecent
liberties with the child.
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I was 18 years old senior
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and the girl I
messed with was under 16.
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She was 15 years old.
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So, what did you think because,
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you know, for a lot
of us we think now wait,
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because everybody, you know,
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and I hate to say
that we're out of control,
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we're out of
control in high schools.
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We're out of control
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when we're raised in
that much dysfunction.
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We're out partying
and in relationships,
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and damaging each other,
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but now you're
saying I am arrested
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and they're looking at me like
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you realize what we're saying.
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You are in trouble.
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And I was oblivious
about... and I'm like okay,
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I'll just bond
out, let me call my mom.
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Right, you don't understand.
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You are in trouble, big trouble.
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I'm like, oh, God.
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Anyway I go to court
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and had a court
appointed attorney,
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and the lawyer said you
just got to plea bargain
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or you are going to prison.
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You don't want to go to
prison with crime like this.
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I'm like, really,
okay, I'll plea bargain.
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So we plea bargain for
suspension of prison time
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to go to little bit boot camp
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which is like 70
percent failure rate
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and if I failed at boot camp,
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then I'll go to
prison for three years.
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So they send me
out to this boot camp
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which is an intense
boot camp, I mean...
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So this is where
somebody is in your face
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trying to get you to kind of,
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man, stop misbehaving,
turn your life around.
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It's one of those
kind of boot camps.
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They want to break you down.
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Yeah, they want to just...
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whatever attitude you have,
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they're gonna
take that from you.
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They're gonna strip
you down and mold you.
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And I know that I
keep repeating myself
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but with the all
the damage that you had,
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you have attitude.
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You know I can see it even now.
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You know, where you're saying,
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you know what,
somebody's got to hear me.
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I didn't do any thing.
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I am not supposed to
be here kind of thing
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and so there're saying,
"How long did you stay?"
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They're saying that
we're gonna break you,
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you need to change that.
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Yeah.
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Five months and a week I
was there and I graduated.
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Upon graduation,
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I just wanted to
put my past behind me
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and continue on with my life
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so I enrolled in a
college to be a nurse.
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My mom was a
nurse. She was in Orient.
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So that's why I
wanted to be a flight nurse.
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So I enrolled immediately,
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after the first year of college,
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I've had good grades.
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I was gonna say 'cause
these are little bit different.
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No, no these will
be your degrees no.
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but I had grade, grades good.
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Because you loved it.
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Why all of a sudden
your grades are good.
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I wanted to be nurse.
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I mean that's
what I wanted to be,
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I want to help people.
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Right.
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I am gonna just
strive for it. Okay.
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That was the goal,
but upon first year,
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the career adviser
brought me in her office
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and told me I
wouldn't be doing my job
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if I didn't tell this but
you need to switch careers
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because you'll never ever
be a nurse with your felony.
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I've got to ask you.
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So at that
moment when you realized
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not only is this
going to follow me
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but it is going to...
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It's gonna dictate
the rest of my life.
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Because now not
only did you get a felony
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for messing around in
high school and drinking
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and I am not
condemning any of that.
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You know, I wish that
kids didn't and I would say,
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we didn't act out,
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which we didn't
drink or whatever,
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my mom and dad drank, you know,
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in high school and
ended up in trouble
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but you know, so I
wish that didn't happen.
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But now you're a
convicted sex offender.
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And what she is saying is that,
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I can let you
finish this program
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but you'll never get a job.
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And that's really hit
me how bad the crime is.
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I mean, I didn't,
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I really never heard
the word 'sex offender'
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ever until I got labeled as one.
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I don't know the extent of it.
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And then
learned about peta files
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and all those other
stuff what the sex offender is,
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I mean, that's...
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Didn't you want to just
scream at the top of your lungs,
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wait a minute,
that's not what I am,
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that's not what I did,
that's not what happened.
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I don't know who to
talk to or what to do.
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And even saying that, Adam,
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I don't want to
excuse people that
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really have issues in that area
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but it sounds like
you're paying for crime
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that you're saying wait.
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Can someone look at this?
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Because
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I know I should get in trouble
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because you
said that to me once.
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I know I should
have gone in trouble
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but not a
registered sex offender.
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Yes.
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See you have to
leave nursing school.
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Did you finished
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or did you just
decide I am leaving?
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I dropped right away.
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I dropped out of
college immediately.
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Yeah.
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So you're drinking heavy?
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Heavy, partying non
stop with the bunch of guys
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and I was on corrections,
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probation on full
time, so I didn't care.
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Eventually they
got tired of me popping
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and blowing their breathalyzers
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and revoked my probation
and throw me in prison.
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As a sex
offender? As a sex offender.
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That's not safe.
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No, it's not really...
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It's not a good deal.
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That's the worst possible case
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you possibly
have going to prison.
00:08:05.88\00:08:07.22
So what happened?
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You go in a
prison as a sex offender
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usually they don't survive
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or they get
really violently treated.
00:08:11.35\00:08:13.05
Yes.
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I didn't, I'm walking in
and right away they asked
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what you're in there for
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and you tell them your case,
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like my case what situation
was and they don't believe you.
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They call you child
molester, all those other words.
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But I had this paper
work that had my charge
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and the ages and
every thing on there.
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So you kept your
paper work with you almost?
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Absolutely, yes. Yeah.
00:08:37.55\00:08:39.15
And they dismissed it...
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and they definitely
didn't ask me no more.
00:08:43.99\00:08:47.12
But I have seen other
people coming in there too cases
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and it's such a bad deal.
00:08:51.76\00:08:53.76
How long did
you spent in prison?
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Two...
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two and half years.
00:08:58.47\00:08:59.80
So, now you are
out in a halfway house
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and that's where you
guys meet, is that right?
00:09:01.44\00:09:04.01
You know you are lucky,
00:09:07.28\00:09:08.61
I am not your sister or your mom
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because I'd be going like Rayne,
00:09:10.68\00:09:12.68
and now that, you know what,
00:09:12.71\00:09:14.52
from the time that
I have met you, Adam,
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as I hear your story
00:09:16.79\00:09:19.85
and I'm not
excusing any behaviors
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and I feel bad
for you and this girl.
00:09:21.82\00:09:23.83
But man, a
convicted sex offender
00:09:23.86\00:09:27.20
and to have that like you said
that kind of stamped on you.
00:09:27.23\00:09:30.50
We go to somewhere you
go that's really tough.
00:09:30.53\00:09:32.83
But you meet him.
00:09:32.87\00:09:34.20
And somebody
has to have told you
00:09:34.24\00:09:36.04
that this is his issue.
00:09:36.07\00:09:37.81
But I knew his
story right away and,
00:09:37.84\00:09:41.94
I mean, and I had a
friend in high school
00:09:41.98\00:09:43.98
that has a similar story.
00:09:44.01\00:09:45.91
And it was
consensual, I mean a girl was,
00:09:45.95\00:09:48.62
her mother even consented
00:09:48.65\00:09:51.02
and the state just picked him up
00:09:51.05\00:09:52.75
and he spent
seven years in prison.
00:09:52.79\00:09:54.59
And he didn't hurt anyone
or forced himself on anyone,
00:09:54.62\00:09:57.73
it was bogus.
00:09:57.76\00:09:59.09
So you have some
experience? Yeah.
00:09:59.13\00:10:00.50
And what's really
crazy is, I can't,
00:10:00.53\00:10:04.20
I am not at liberty to mention
00:10:04.23\00:10:06.13
who but I have even
someone in my family
00:10:06.17\00:10:08.24
same kind of thing that
they were in high school,
00:10:08.27\00:10:12.54
found in a
compromising situation
00:10:12.57\00:10:15.01
not even sexual like you said
00:10:15.04\00:10:16.41
that you didn't have.
00:10:16.44\00:10:17.78
It wasn't a sexual
situation with this girl
00:10:17.81\00:10:19.81
but they were in the same thing
00:10:19.85\00:10:21.18
and everybody
wanted to press charges.
00:10:21.22\00:10:24.65
And then with this
guy had turned 18 one day,
00:10:24.69\00:10:27.72
he had been 18 one day
00:10:27.76\00:10:29.36
and would have
registered for the rest of...
00:10:29.39\00:10:31.09
not the rest of
his life but for years.
00:10:31.13\00:10:32.53
Yeah.
00:10:32.56\00:10:33.90
So you're saying,
00:10:33.93\00:10:35.26
I knew the story, I heard that.
00:10:35.30\00:10:37.03
You guys fell in love. Right?
00:10:37.07\00:10:39.70
Yeah, absolutely.
00:10:39.73\00:10:42.40
Got married?
00:10:42.44\00:10:45.57
Have a couple of more kids.
00:10:45.61\00:10:47.74
But you know I want to hear.
00:10:47.78\00:10:50.25
What happened when they found
00:10:50.28\00:10:52.48
that you had kids?
00:10:52.51\00:10:54.22
Well, yeah.
00:10:54.25\00:10:56.99
So just to even,
00:10:57.02\00:11:00.22
I was on a parole
after I got out of prison.
00:11:00.26\00:11:01.99
I was on parole for
three years which it...
00:11:02.02\00:11:04.06
it was a very hard
parole when you're sex offender.
00:11:04.09\00:11:07.40
It's impossible.
00:11:07.43\00:11:08.76
Yeah, they want you to fail.
00:11:08.80\00:11:10.33
I can't go to
parks, I can't do anything.
00:11:10.37\00:11:12.77
But anyway Rayne gets pregnant
00:11:12.80\00:11:14.90
and I tell my
parole officer about this,
00:11:14.94\00:11:16.34
and she says,
00:11:16.37\00:11:17.71
you can't even
be around your kid
00:11:17.74\00:11:19.07
until you take this
class for sex offenders.
00:11:19.11\00:11:21.28
And if I was in prison,
00:11:21.31\00:11:22.64
I didn't have
to take this class.
00:11:22.68\00:11:24.01
But I'm on
parole, I got to take it.
00:11:24.05\00:11:26.25
So for me even be
around my own son,
00:11:26.28\00:11:29.05
I got to take
sex offender class.
00:11:29.08\00:11:31.15
And so I do it,
00:11:31.19\00:11:33.39
do whatever I got
to be around my son.
00:11:33.42\00:11:35.79
I go to these
classes and it's...
00:11:35.82\00:11:38.39
I mean, my kids now, I mean,
00:11:38.43\00:11:41.23
I'm not against the
law of sex offenders at all
00:11:41.26\00:11:43.37
but it should be there.
00:11:43.40\00:11:44.73
I think there is...
00:11:44.77\00:11:46.10
There are some
people that really are sick
00:11:46.13\00:11:48.04
and really do need help...
00:11:48.07\00:11:49.40
And people need
protection. Absolutely.
00:11:51.01\00:11:53.88
And I saw the
class, it was rough setting
00:11:53.91\00:11:57.35
but I kind of, I sat on.
00:11:57.38\00:11:59.28
Do you know that I want to say
00:11:59.31\00:12:01.28
the first time
you tell me the story
00:12:01.32\00:12:03.05
and I realize the
stories that you heard
00:12:03.08\00:12:04.85
from person after
person after person,
00:12:04.89\00:12:08.12
you said it twisted
you, it almost killed you.
00:12:08.16\00:12:11.53
All you could do
was go home and drink.
00:12:11.56\00:12:13.63
And I wanted to
say, I am so sorry
00:12:13.66\00:12:15.80
because I could imagine
00:12:15.83\00:12:17.57
what you heard
over and over and over.
00:12:17.60\00:12:20.90
And wanted to scream at someone,
00:12:20.94\00:12:22.64
I don't want to be here.
00:12:22.67\00:12:24.87
I don't want to hear
this, I don't want to know this.
00:12:24.91\00:12:27.21
And I had to.
00:12:27.24\00:12:29.01
Just to be around
your own children.
00:12:29.04\00:12:30.38
Yeah.
00:12:30.41\00:12:31.91
If he come home, and
you wouldn't lean on him.
00:12:31.95\00:12:34.68
You just want
to leave him alone,
00:12:34.72\00:12:36.05
like you could just tell,
00:12:36.08\00:12:37.42
he was just broken down
and you just left him alone
00:12:37.45\00:12:40.49
for the rest of the
night because he was a mess.
00:12:40.52\00:12:44.96
I just want to
say and I don't know
00:12:44.99\00:12:46.39
how many people have
said to you I am so sorry.
00:12:46.43\00:12:49.56
I am really sorry.
00:12:49.60\00:12:51.03
So you end up
going to the class.
00:12:51.07\00:12:52.97
You get permission to be
around your own children.
00:12:53.00\00:12:55.10
Yup, I am, it
was like celebration
00:12:55.14\00:12:59.41
I was so happy to
be around my own kid
00:12:59.44\00:13:01.51
and I don't have to worry
about the law coming after me
00:13:01.54\00:13:04.85
but yeah,
00:13:04.88\00:13:06.21
that kind of went
smoother for while to me.
00:13:06.25\00:13:09.55
You were registering
00:13:09.58\00:13:11.39
at once a year at the beginning,
00:13:11.42\00:13:15.42
registering once a
year, sex offender.
00:13:15.46\00:13:18.86
You know there was a time
00:13:18.89\00:13:20.23
I know that you were
asked to leave your home.
00:13:20.26\00:13:23.13
Can you talk
about that a little bit?
00:13:23.16\00:13:24.73
They gave you 14 days I think.
00:13:24.77\00:13:26.97
Fourteen days. Yeah.
00:13:27.00\00:13:29.90
We lived there for seven
years and we were good tenants.
00:13:29.94\00:13:34.38
We never were late on rent
and we took care of our house.
00:13:34.41\00:13:37.91
I mean, it was nice
outside, it was nice inside.
00:13:37.95\00:13:40.95
And just a development
that we lived in got bought out
00:13:40.98\00:13:45.55
by a new company.
00:13:45.59\00:13:47.06
And once they found out
00:13:47.09\00:13:49.39
that a sex
offender lived in our house,
00:13:49.42\00:13:52.93
they gave 14 days
and I mean that was home
00:13:52.96\00:13:56.67
especially for me
and Jaden, you know,
00:13:56.70\00:13:59.23
because that was like
the first safe stable place
00:13:59.27\00:14:02.40
that we'd have after
going through everything,
00:14:02.44\00:14:05.01
we went through,
and now we're being told
00:14:05.04\00:14:07.24
we have to leave home.
00:14:07.28\00:14:09.41
Fourteen days, and
nobody's gonna rent you.
00:14:09.44\00:14:12.11
No, nobody.
00:14:12.15\00:14:13.48
You said that you were online.
00:14:13.52\00:14:16.02
I was on the internet for a day,
00:14:16.05\00:14:18.62
I mean, I just lived
on the internet for days
00:14:18.65\00:14:21.09
trying to find a house and
every day he'd get off work
00:14:21.12\00:14:24.26
and we go looking and
you know to our house,
00:14:24.29\00:14:27.40
look at a house
00:14:27.43\00:14:28.76
and every single
person wanted to know
00:14:28.80\00:14:30.83
if you have felony or
if you're a sex offender,
00:14:30.87\00:14:33.34
and some of them
would specifically ask
00:14:33.37\00:14:35.27
if you were a sex offender.
00:14:35.30\00:14:37.31
And you said yes.
00:14:37.34\00:14:38.67
You would have to say yes.
00:14:38.71\00:14:40.04
No, you just walk out.
00:14:40.08\00:14:41.54
Because you knew. Yeah,
00:14:41.58\00:14:42.91
So you know, what's really...
00:14:42.94\00:14:45.78
what's crushing to me
is I know that in 2013
00:14:45.81\00:14:51.69
you were gonna
be off of probation,
00:14:51.72\00:14:54.16
not having to register anymore,
all of that kind of stuff
00:14:54.19\00:14:57.09
and you were going
to get your life back.
00:14:57.13\00:15:00.30
Yeah, don't have to register
no more now with that...
00:15:00.33\00:15:02.00
What happened?
00:15:02.03\00:15:03.37
They changed the law.
00:15:03.40\00:15:05.50
Now instead of,
00:15:05.53\00:15:07.00
it was supposed
to end in ten years
00:15:07.04\00:15:09.20
now they changed the law,
00:15:09.24\00:15:10.84
when I got to do for 25 years.
00:15:10.87\00:15:13.04
Oh, man I have to
register three times...
00:15:13.07\00:15:14.84
Not you
personally, just for everyone?
00:15:14.88\00:15:16.78
Everybody, well, it depends
00:15:16.81\00:15:18.51
people had to
register for ten years.
00:15:18.55\00:15:20.38
I have registered 25 now
00:15:20.42\00:15:21.82
and people that
registered for 25
00:15:21.85\00:15:23.18
that's registered for life.
00:15:23.22\00:15:24.55
Well.
00:15:24.59\00:15:25.92
So and then they
upped to 20 dollars
00:15:25.95\00:15:27.42
every time I go
register and three times a year.
00:15:27.46\00:15:29.79
Four times a
year. Four times a year
00:15:29.82\00:15:31.16
So instead of one,
it's four times a year.
00:15:31.19\00:15:33.06
And 15 more years?
00:15:33.09\00:15:37.63
So now my kids got to
deal with this now too.
00:15:37.67\00:15:39.43
All our kids
except for the baby,
00:15:39.47\00:15:41.80
you know, go
through high school with him
00:15:41.84\00:15:43.51
being a registered sex offender.
00:15:43.54\00:15:47.11
How do you do that?
00:15:47.14\00:15:48.84
I mean, how do you deal with it?
00:15:48.88\00:15:51.21
My wife and family went
00:15:51.25\00:15:52.85
and they are
wonderful support group
00:15:52.88\00:15:54.58
and my church family.
00:15:54.62\00:15:56.28
Because you're back in...
00:15:56.32\00:15:57.65
you are in church
for the first time.
00:15:57.69\00:15:59.62
Still drinking, still
not sure where are you
00:15:59.65\00:16:01.76
out with any of that.
00:16:01.79\00:16:03.12
Yeah.
00:16:03.16\00:16:04.49
But what brought you
to a place where you said,
00:16:04.53\00:16:06.70
I am even gonna
move in that direction?
00:16:06.73\00:16:10.43
Well it's the people I know.
00:16:10.47\00:16:13.54
I have watched her really.
00:16:13.57\00:16:15.90
I mean she reads
few books in the morning
00:16:15.94\00:16:18.97
and I mean the
things that she goes through
00:16:19.01\00:16:21.91
I don't know how she does
it and some times I don't have,
00:16:21.94\00:16:24.95
I don't know what
to do to help her.
00:16:24.98\00:16:26.58
These books she is reading,
00:16:26.61\00:16:27.95
it gives her
such amazing support
00:16:27.98\00:16:31.22
and you know...
00:16:31.25\00:16:32.59
The devotions and stuff.
00:16:32.62\00:16:33.96
Yeah, that's what
they are, I'm sorry.
00:16:33.99\00:16:35.89
No, but you know
what I am just imagining
00:16:35.92\00:16:39.19
because I know
that your whole life
00:16:39.23\00:16:41.66
is you hung on to God
00:16:41.70\00:16:43.10
almost
white-knuckled it half the time.
00:16:43.13\00:16:45.93
And so he is watching you.
00:16:45.97\00:16:47.70
Say that in the
midst of this craziness,
00:16:47.74\00:16:49.97
he watches you go,
00:16:50.01\00:16:52.37
go to the word or
grab a devotion or pray.
00:16:52.41\00:16:57.15
I just don't
feel like I'm any...
00:16:57.18\00:17:01.62
I don't feel
like a good example,
00:17:01.65\00:17:04.42
so it's crazy to
hear him say those things.
00:17:04.45\00:17:08.12
I love that.
00:17:08.16\00:17:09.49
So it got you to where
you stepped into a church,
00:17:09.52\00:17:13.26
and what was that like?
00:17:13.29\00:17:14.90
Awesome, yeah, right
away several opened arms.
00:17:14.93\00:17:18.83
I love the
Sabbath school for kids,
00:17:18.87\00:17:22.34
I mean, 'cause I don't know
a whole lot about the Bible.
00:17:22.37\00:17:25.14
I am still, I'm very learning it
00:17:25.17\00:17:27.34
and going for four,
five, four years now.
00:17:27.38\00:17:29.98
Because you have four kids.
00:17:30.01\00:17:31.35
Yup, I learn so much in
just my three year old class.
00:17:31.38\00:17:35.48
I mean all the stuff she learns,
00:17:35.52\00:17:36.85
I am like how do you know that,
00:17:36.89\00:17:38.22
that's awesome.
00:17:38.25\00:17:39.82
So I want to
just, wherever I go,
00:17:39.85\00:17:41.76
I am learning more and
more and more and this,
00:17:41.79\00:17:43.89
it's lot of fun.
00:17:43.93\00:17:45.36
It's because of God's love.
00:17:45.39\00:17:48.43
It's okay to fail,
he is there for you.
00:17:48.46\00:17:51.30
And he even loves us.
00:17:51.33\00:17:53.80
What's really even
for you to say that,
00:17:53.84\00:17:55.37
I want to go back to you,
00:17:55.40\00:17:57.21
for both of you is that...
00:17:57.24\00:17:59.31
How do you...
00:17:59.34\00:18:00.68
What do you do with
your any resentment or anger
00:18:00.71\00:18:03.95
or this is not fair,
00:18:03.98\00:18:06.28
because I want to say,
00:18:06.31\00:18:07.78
I like you said
earlier as I believe
00:18:07.82\00:18:10.05
the laws are there for reason
00:18:10.09\00:18:11.42
and I think they
protect everyone.
00:18:11.45\00:18:13.52
We've had in the first
season a convicted sex offender
00:18:13.56\00:18:17.16
that said I need that structure,
00:18:17.19\00:18:20.26
I need to know
that I am accountable
00:18:20.30\00:18:21.90
and I need all that stuff.
00:18:21.93\00:18:23.33
So I am not saying anything
against up but when you,
00:18:23.37\00:18:26.70
I am looking at you
and thinking that man,
00:18:26.74\00:18:29.17
for a mistake in
high school with a girl
00:18:29.20\00:18:32.21
that you are kind
of dating to register
00:18:32.24\00:18:34.98
for the next 25 years is so...
00:18:35.01\00:18:37.35
I can't imagine the changes.
00:18:37.38\00:18:39.28
So what do you do
with, when anger comes up?
00:18:39.31\00:18:42.28
What do you do when,
00:18:42.32\00:18:43.65
that even for
you, what do you do,
00:18:43.69\00:18:45.02
because you have to
deal with this everyday?
00:18:45.05\00:18:48.09
All of us have deal with it.
00:18:48.12\00:18:49.86
I mean, the kids are
even getting old enough
00:18:49.89\00:18:51.99
where they gonna
have to deal with it.
00:18:52.03\00:18:55.76
I feel like I take it and stride
00:18:55.80\00:18:58.50
may be even too much
00:18:58.53\00:18:59.87
because I don't
care what he is labeled,
00:18:59.90\00:19:03.00
it's just ludicrous
to me and so I know...
00:19:03.04\00:19:05.41
'Cause you know him.
00:19:05.44\00:19:06.78
Yeah, and everyone
else that knows him
00:19:06.81\00:19:09.08
feels the same way
but for him it's different
00:19:09.11\00:19:11.88
because he feels
that label on him daily,
00:19:11.91\00:19:15.05
may be even
00:19:15.08\00:19:16.65
and they took me like even
just a couple of months ago,
00:19:16.69\00:19:20.19
I finally realize
that because I didn't,
00:19:20.22\00:19:22.72
I think I just took it
way too much on the stride
00:19:22.76\00:19:25.73
when really
it's beating him down
00:19:25.76\00:19:28.66
way more than what I realize
00:19:28.70\00:19:30.63
because I don't care
that he has that label.
00:19:30.67\00:19:33.97
Well who cares
what society says.
00:19:34.00\00:19:36.57
It matters what God
thinks about you know.
00:19:36.60\00:19:39.07
It matters what me
00:19:39.11\00:19:40.44
and the kids
think about you know.
00:19:40.48\00:19:41.81
And who he is.
00:19:41.84\00:19:43.18
Yeah and...
00:19:43.21\00:19:44.55
How about you?
00:19:44.58\00:19:45.91
It's...
00:19:45.95\00:19:48.18
At first, I mean, I
just lost jobs over it
00:19:48.22\00:19:51.72
and it was tough
to accept, I mean,
00:19:51.75\00:19:56.16
I don't know what to do.
00:19:56.19\00:19:57.89
Over the last three
years, three, four years,
00:19:57.93\00:20:00.60
since I've put my foot
in the door in the church,
00:20:00.63\00:20:03.20
I do feel lifted.
00:20:03.23\00:20:07.00
Pressure is off.
00:20:07.04\00:20:08.77
I don't really care what
people think about me anymore.
00:20:08.80\00:20:11.17
But what matter
is my kids, my family
00:20:11.21\00:20:13.48
and relation to God,
00:20:13.51\00:20:17.98
you know, it's tough,
00:20:18.01\00:20:22.65
real tough.
00:20:22.68\00:20:24.02
And I guess I
want to look at you
00:20:24.05\00:20:25.49
and I am thinking, you know,
00:20:25.52\00:20:26.86
that's a sweet
answer, Adam, but I know that,
00:20:26.89\00:20:29.32
I am not asking you that,
I am asking you to be real.
00:20:29.36\00:20:31.89
What you got stamped,
00:20:31.93\00:20:33.96
this is who
every one says you are.
00:20:34.00\00:20:36.06
You have to fight this
on every first meeting.
00:20:36.10\00:20:38.33
You have to fight
this on every job,
00:20:38.37\00:20:40.47
on every time you
go out for a house,
00:20:40.50\00:20:43.04
and so, if you were
talking not only for yourself
00:20:43.07\00:20:46.07
but other people that
have had to do that fight.
00:20:46.11\00:20:48.91
Would you give
that same sweet answer?
00:20:48.94\00:20:50.28
No, no.
00:20:50.31\00:20:51.65
Okay, I want you
to answer for real.
00:20:51.68\00:20:54.32
You know, I can't imagine
00:20:54.35\00:20:56.58
and I can't imagine
walking around with that,
00:20:56.62\00:20:59.22
and when you say I drink
to stop thinking about it,
00:20:59.25\00:21:02.62
I get that.
00:21:02.66\00:21:05.39
It's terrible, I mean...
00:21:05.43\00:21:07.00
When people look
at you as a pedophile,
00:21:12.93\00:21:15.47
it brings so much anger
00:21:15.50\00:21:17.21
and it makes
you to hit everyone.
00:21:17.24\00:21:20.18
When I go home
instead of relaxing,
00:21:20.21\00:21:22.11
I am sitting in
room, going over on my mind
00:21:22.14\00:21:25.11
and what did I,
why I am labeled this.
00:21:25.15\00:21:29.42
Can't be forgive, I mean,
I've already done my time.
00:21:29.45\00:21:33.59
Why the laws keep changing?
00:21:33.62\00:21:35.26
Am I supposed to battle
this for the rest of my life?
00:21:35.29\00:21:38.69
I mean nothing is
easy for me to do in life,
00:21:38.73\00:21:40.73
absolutely nothing at all.
00:21:40.76\00:21:42.90
And...
00:21:42.93\00:21:44.27
Not even, and not
even as of your children.
00:21:44.30\00:21:45.97
They're gonna look at you
00:21:46.00\00:21:47.34
and you're gonna
have to explain to them.
00:21:47.37\00:21:49.54
Or their
friends, or their friends,
00:21:49.57\00:21:51.67
parents, teachers, whoever.
00:21:51.71\00:21:53.88
I mean, it
doesn't affect me no more,
00:21:53.91\00:21:55.98
it affects everyone, it
affects my whole family now.
00:21:56.01\00:21:59.11
And they inherited
it and as tears go on,
00:21:59.15\00:22:03.72
law changes and they just keep,
that keeps me some sucked in.
00:22:03.75\00:22:06.92
So nothing I can do
except to just hang on.
00:22:06.96\00:22:11.23
You know and I hope
this doesn't sound easy,
00:22:11.26\00:22:14.86
but we're talking about grace.
00:22:14.90\00:22:16.53
And I...
00:22:16.56\00:22:17.90
Well, I was thinking about
00:22:17.93\00:22:19.27
how to cover this with you
00:22:19.30\00:22:20.64
and how to look at this
in a real sense with you.
00:22:20.67\00:22:23.54
There is it Romans 5 and 6
and that says you know what
00:22:23.57\00:22:27.01
even when we were powerless,
00:22:27.04\00:22:28.64
even when we were been bombarded
00:22:28.68\00:22:30.45
with all of the stuff,
00:22:30.48\00:22:31.81
even when we were yet
enemies of God himself,
00:22:31.85\00:22:34.95
he said, "I died for you
00:22:34.98\00:22:36.32
because I know you are not going
00:22:36.35\00:22:37.69
to pull yourself out of this.
00:22:37.72\00:22:39.05
It is only gonna be
for the grace of God,
00:22:39.09\00:22:40.42
that you will
grab your life back."
00:22:40.46\00:22:42.46
And so when I read that,
00:22:42.49\00:22:44.59
I thought about you specifically
00:22:44.63\00:22:46.39
that I can't imagine
00:22:46.43\00:22:49.36
what it feels like to
be in your skin sometime,
00:22:49.40\00:22:52.13
and have that battle,
00:22:52.17\00:22:53.50
knowing that you're gonna have
that battle day in and day out.
00:22:53.54\00:22:57.37
What did you do with
when it's overwhelming?
00:22:57.41\00:23:01.64
What did you do with the anger
00:23:01.68\00:23:03.01
and the
bitterness what did you do?
00:23:03.04\00:23:04.38
I drink.
00:23:04.41\00:23:05.75
You drink and does it, is
it still working to drink?
00:23:05.78\00:23:09.85
I mean, that's what I do,
00:23:09.88\00:23:11.79
I don't know what
else to do sometimes
00:23:11.82\00:23:13.82
and that's for it's like peace.
00:23:13.86\00:23:17.59
I drink and then I don't
have to think about that stuff
00:23:17.63\00:23:20.66
where I just,
00:23:20.70\00:23:22.26
and the next morning I wake up,
00:23:22.30\00:23:23.63
it's like a new day
00:23:23.67\00:23:25.00
until something triggers me
off again about it all then.
00:23:25.03\00:23:29.14
And then you drink again.
00:23:29.17\00:23:30.51
Yeah, I take one day a time.
00:23:30.54\00:23:34.71
You know, I am looking at you
00:23:34.74\00:23:38.71
and I am
thinking that the only way
00:23:38.75\00:23:40.72
I survived any of my junk,
00:23:40.75\00:23:43.62
you know ten years on the street
00:23:43.65\00:23:45.59
and slamming heroin
and all that kind of stuff
00:23:45.62\00:23:47.96
is that I had to believe
00:23:47.99\00:23:50.49
that God was
better than the heroin.
00:23:50.53\00:23:53.36
Because the only
time I got a break
00:23:53.40\00:23:55.06
is I put some
drugs in the spoon,
00:23:55.10\00:23:57.43
cooked it up and slammed them.
00:23:57.47\00:23:58.83
No, and that was my only break,
00:23:58.87\00:24:00.57
the only time I didn't
feel like killing myself,
00:24:00.60\00:24:02.84
and I am looking at you
saying that as your friend
00:24:02.87\00:24:05.71
because I really feel like,
00:24:05.74\00:24:07.78
you know God is
allowed us to meet
00:24:07.81\00:24:09.64
and start a friendship.
00:24:09.68\00:24:11.48
And as your friend,
00:24:11.51\00:24:12.85
I don't care
what you have to do,
00:24:12.88\00:24:14.75
the alcohol is lined to you.
00:24:14.78\00:24:16.28
It's almost like a
lover that seduces us
00:24:16.32\00:24:18.69
and says you know what,
00:24:18.72\00:24:20.06
I might here and I
am always gonna work
00:24:20.09\00:24:21.79
and it's a lie.
00:24:21.82\00:24:23.19
It has never worked.
00:24:23.22\00:24:24.66
It has never
gotten you to a place
00:24:24.69\00:24:26.26
where you could
stand up on your own skin.
00:24:26.29\00:24:28.66
And my prayer for you, Adam,
00:24:28.70\00:24:31.93
is that, you trust grace.
00:24:31.97\00:24:37.01
You know, we've been hanging out
00:24:37.04\00:24:38.37
for the last couple of days.
00:24:38.41\00:24:39.74
You're gonna be so tired.
00:24:39.77\00:24:42.64
But what do you think
as the last couple of days
00:24:42.68\00:24:44.85
what we've been talking about.
00:24:44.88\00:24:46.48
It's...
00:24:46.51\00:24:48.52
Well, you taught me
00:24:48.55\00:24:50.85
while talking
and everything its,
00:24:50.89\00:24:53.36
I mean, what we do,
I mean, God loves us.
00:24:53.39\00:24:58.99
Nobody is perfect.
00:24:59.03\00:25:01.13
Nobody in this world is perfect.
00:25:01.16\00:25:05.73
He loves us all
00:25:05.77\00:25:07.30
and if you think
you can get through
00:25:07.34\00:25:08.90
this world by
yourself, you're crazy.
00:25:08.94\00:25:12.14
You need him and he is
there open arms waiting for you.
00:25:12.17\00:25:17.48
He says stop.
00:25:17.51\00:25:20.25
It's hard to accept. Yeah.
00:25:20.28\00:25:22.08
Why?
00:25:22.12\00:25:23.45
I don't know,
because I don't like
00:25:23.49\00:25:24.82
especially for
me it should be easy
00:25:24.85\00:25:26.22
like I grew up.
00:25:26.25\00:25:27.79
Being taught that
00:25:27.82\00:25:29.16
on top of the don't do this
00:25:29.19\00:25:30.93
or don't do that
or you'll go to hell.
00:25:30.96\00:25:32.79
You know grace was
in there somewhere,
00:25:32.83\00:25:34.76
you know, I heard it
at least but it's still.
00:25:34.80\00:25:38.27
It's really tough to...
00:25:38.30\00:25:40.74
I am not drinking every day,
00:25:40.77\00:25:42.40
I am not smoking pot everyday,
00:25:42.44\00:25:44.57
I am not, you know,
00:25:44.61\00:25:46.17
I don't even have the struggles
00:25:46.21\00:25:47.71
he does but I still
question myself everyday,
00:25:47.74\00:25:49.98
everyday.
00:25:50.01\00:25:51.35
Because you
don't feel good enough.
00:25:51.38\00:25:52.71
I don't, yeah.
00:25:52.75\00:25:54.38
You know what I want to
scream to the entire world
00:25:54.42\00:25:56.69
is we're not good
enough, that's why Christ died.
00:25:56.72\00:26:00.19
You know, to me I look at that,
00:26:00.22\00:26:02.66
I think where did
we get that wrong.
00:26:02.69\00:26:04.49
The best of the best of
us are like filthy rags.
00:26:04.53\00:26:06.93
The best of the best of us
00:26:06.96\00:26:08.56
has been deceived
outside of what norm is.
00:26:08.60\00:26:12.67
And God said you
know, I knew that
00:26:12.70\00:26:14.60
and Jesus said I
died knowing that.
00:26:14.64\00:26:18.04
So knowing that the only
way you're gonna go home.
00:26:18.07\00:26:20.81
The only way you're gonna get
back in your own skin is if I,
00:26:20.84\00:26:24.05
if I redeem you.
00:26:24.08\00:26:25.61
And with you,
00:26:25.65\00:26:26.98
I know that you
are harder on yourself
00:26:27.02\00:26:29.05
than a lot of non Christians
00:26:29.08\00:26:31.05
because you
have that background.
00:26:31.09\00:26:32.95
You call your self.
00:26:32.99\00:26:34.32
I am not good
enough, I am doing this,
00:26:34.36\00:26:35.69
I am thinking this, I
am, you know whatever,
00:26:35.72\00:26:38.03
I am not good enough
and you will call yourself.
00:26:38.06\00:26:41.46
Can you say even
when Adam started
00:26:41.50\00:26:44.50
to get a little bit of grace
00:26:44.53\00:26:46.43
what you felt like in Bible,
00:26:46.47\00:26:47.80
you remember you saw
I'm at a Bible study,
00:26:47.84\00:26:50.01
he starts getting little
bad and it made me angry.
00:26:50.04\00:26:55.91
Oh yeah. Bible testament, yeah.
00:26:55.94\00:26:57.48
You remember that mad me angry.
00:26:57.51\00:26:59.85
That I'm looking at him
and he is going to get it
00:26:59.88\00:27:02.08
and I don't get it.
00:27:02.12\00:27:03.45
Are you kidding me?
00:27:03.49\00:27:05.15
I was jealous he
gets to come into,
00:27:05.19\00:27:07.92
into the church
learning about God's love first
00:27:07.96\00:27:10.93
and falling in love with
Jesus and what Jesus did for us.
00:27:10.96\00:27:14.56
He gets to learn that
first instead of don't do this
00:27:14.60\00:27:17.50
or you'll go to hell
00:27:17.53\00:27:18.87
because that's
totally the background for me.
00:27:18.90\00:27:22.24
We're gonna take a break
and because we got to close.
00:27:22.27\00:27:25.24
I wish that we had
another hour but we don't.
00:27:25.27\00:27:27.14
So we're gonna close,
00:27:27.18\00:27:28.51
but I am gonna have you
guys stay with me on the close
00:27:28.54\00:27:30.85
and we're gonna talk a
little bit more about this.
00:27:30.88\00:27:32.95
If you haven't heard me
say throughout this program
00:27:32.98\00:27:36.85
that we're not enough.
00:27:36.89\00:27:38.59
But God says my blood is enough
00:27:38.62\00:27:40.22
and I am crazy about you.
00:27:40.26\00:27:43.53
Stay with us, we
will be right back.
00:27:43.56\00:27:44.99