The following program
discusses sensitive issues
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related to addictive behavior.
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Parents are
cautioned that some material
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may be too candid
for younger children.
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During the break
Bonnie at the cafe
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said that she sees
sometimes that demonic activity
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as if it's happening
only in the deepest, darkest
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jungle somewhere
in a tribal group.
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And you see it
really clearly that there
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but it sometimes in major cities
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or in places like the US
it's just more sophisticated.
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When you talk-- In Jesus time
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there was a thing
where He sent out the 70s
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and they came back
and they said, man,
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I cannot believe it.
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Even the demons
have to listen to us
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and are being called out.
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And Jesus said, don't'
be surprised about that,
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be fuller joy that your name
is written in the book of life.
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You know we talked about Tracy,
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the guy that was
filled with the 1,000 demons,
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you know they're demoniac.
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He's cutting up himself
and he's beating people up
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and he's living in a cemetery
and he's really out of control,
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crazy, can't even
speak for himself.
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Yet when Jesus
pulls the demons out
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he was in his right
mind for the first time ever.
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And so we really
don't take into account
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that there's that
activity going around
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but you lived it,
you know it's true.
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Yes, I do.
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In fact I raided myself
against that guy many times.
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I said, am I like as bad
as the guy in the cemetery,
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the demoniac and
running around with no cloths,
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check, shouting out loudly,
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check and I was
almost cutting myself.
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There was all sorts of
wounds all over my body
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by the end of meth binge.
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And there was many
times I read in the Bible
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where Jesus would
cast something out
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and the people weren't
amazed that the demon was there,
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they are amazed that
they had the power to--
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that they were cast out.
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There was many times
where I would fall asleep
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trying to sleep with
the demons all around me,
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knowing they are all around
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and I was just
scared out of my mind.
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I'd fully dressed, all
the lights on in the house
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and 3ABN on and
that was my lifeline,
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it saved my life.
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I swear to you, I
promise to you that it did.
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There will be time
that I'd be praying to God,
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take away these
things crawling on my body
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because days after sobering
up I would still feel them
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moving around
and causing trouble.
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And I'd say, how long, God,
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how long will I
have these things on me?
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And I would receive the answer
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through 3ABN and
through the Bible.
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At one time I was asleep
in the middle of the night,
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nightmares of, you know,
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bad things of demons
impressing into my face,
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beautiful faces
with pitch black eyes,
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smiling hideous
grins and holding my--
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I wake up and I'd be
stifle, I couldn't breath,
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I was being stifle and I have
to yell, get off of me and--
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And Jesus' name.
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And Jesus' name and
then I would hear scripture,
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I woke up from a
middle of dead sleep
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and I heard
scripture, "If you search for me
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with all of your
heart you will find me."
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I believe it was John Lomacang
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was just reading from the Bible.
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And then also--
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and I knew right
then Holy Spirit inspired,
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he said that-- this
is an answer for you,
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you search for me
with all your heart.
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And so I was casting demons out,
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trying to the day
after I was still high
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and I said, hey, if in
case you didn't noticed it
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I'm resisting you,
get out of here, you know.
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The Bible says.
Yeah, the Bible says.
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And yet they would
still be toying with me
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and I was wondering why and--
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Resist the devil and he will
flee from you, the Bible says.
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Yeah, I said that and I thought,
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hey, resist and
flee, what about this.
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And so I looked it up
and it says, James 4:7--
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You know what, the only
thing, I just have to say,
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the only thing I
forget to say for you,
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resist the
devil, don't do meth--
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Never, that part.
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You know, it's just like--
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You know-- But we do--
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we start to do the resist,
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we start to do
all that kind of stuff
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but we're still online
porn, we're still doing meth,
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we're still beating our spouse,
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we're still doing
all that kind of stuff
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and there is a
point where God says,
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you know what, I am
gonna have to ask you
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to do this behavioral change
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because without
the behavioral change
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you giving this
territory to the devil.
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And so what was
that change for you
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because eventually
you had to hear that?
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That was it, that's what it was.
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I was being double minded.
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I was-- I planned on
doing more drugs next week
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and I was trying
to cast the devil.
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You can't do that when
you are serving him a banquet
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and then tell him to
get out, he's not leaving.
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I want to still do meth, I
just don't want to be crazy.
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Yeah, exactly. So
can we make a deal here?
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And the devil
says, I don't make deals.
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Don't make deals, I'll do
whatever I want with my slaves.
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And I remember, I
praying to God so many times
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you know, Lord, come now.
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I don't care if I
burn up now on your coming,
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I'd rather burn out now
than forever as an addict.
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The devil's argument is
this should be in heaven,
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this is good, right?
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It should be in
heaven, it should be eternal.
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I am like, God.
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And so I said it
loudly many times,
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I'd rather die
now than you know,
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burn up on God's coming now
than live forever in torment
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and also prayed to God.
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Eventually I realized you know
what, this is just miserable,
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I hate being and
addict, I hated it.
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I'd wake up and
repent and feel horrible
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and realize the
hope in my life is gone,
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hope is based in truth.
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You don't-- well, I
hope I don't get hit
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by the rock heading towards me,
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you can't have hope with
that, hope is based in truth
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and I knew a rock was
headed right towards me.
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As far as financially,
the guys at work hating me--
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You were getting
ready to lose everything.
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Getting ready
to lose everything.
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It's surprising I still
had my car working at all
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and my house
payments were getting
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harder and harder to find.
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And so I said to God, I
prayed many different prayers
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and when I said,
just make me stop
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and I realized
he can't force me,
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I would hate
him if he forced me.
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And then I said, I realize--
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You know, let's not go past that
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because some people will say,
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you know, just take it
away from me or don't--
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like somebody,
an alcoholic said,
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you know, you
turned water into wine,
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can you do the reverse for me?
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There you go. Yeah, right.
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You know every time I pick it up
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this alcohol becomes water.
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Exactly. Do you
know what I mean?
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And it's like being
able to say is that God says
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I really need
you to get to a place
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where you
understand this is bad for you
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and then
surrender to me and ask me
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to give you strength to do that.
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So it's like
there's got to be our will
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has to come involved in that.
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We have to be able to say,
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you know, as I
was a heroin addict,
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I have to stop
picking up the needle.
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Somebody that's a
workaholic has to say
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that I am going
home at 5 o'clock
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and not working all night.
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Somebody that is
cheating on their wives says,
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I can't go to
that motel with them.
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You know, so it's like God says,
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I need you to work with
Me and see the wrong of this.
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I need you to see the way
the devil has you under control
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so that you can
start walking out.
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And now you do that
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and I promise
you I am right there.
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I am right there. Yeah.
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That's what I found.
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Bath salts became illegal
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and I couldn't
find meth anywhere
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and I kept looking
and I had the sense
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that that God was
hiding the meth from me
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and I got very mad at Him.
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And so I know for
a fact that praying--
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This is not fair.
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You can't just take
it from me like that.
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Guys would think I
was a cop for some reason
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in the middle of
the deal and yeah.
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Come on, you know You
are blocking this for me.
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And so I felt the sprit--
and so the God let me think
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that way just for
a moment to realize
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I will be mad
if he just made it,
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so I couldn't get to the meth.
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Now later when I got to the meth
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and being able to
say no to the meth
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while it's right there,
that's the true power of God.
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The fact that we fall is obvious
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as simple flesh craves to die
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but the fact we stand up
is because God is with us,
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accompanying
spirit of goodness and--
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So the pastor pray--
your mom prayed for you,
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pastor's praying for
you, you go into rehab.
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I know it hasn't been a
piece of cake from there
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but when did the piece
of God start coming in?
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When did you feel you know what,
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I think His
protection and His strength
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is bigger than
this demonic stuff?
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Yeah, that's--
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I had to get to a horrible
spot in order to do that.
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I prayed the prayer finally,
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the Holy Spirit
inspired me to pray a prayer.
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You know we are not
tapping into God's power,
00:07:31.99\00:07:33.56
you know, this is God
almighty, the creator God.
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He created everything with what?
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Few words spoken.
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All I has to do is say
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the right words
to change my heart,
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to desire not to be an addict.
00:07:41.35\00:07:43.29
And so I prayed that prayer
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two weeks before He
finally answered it.
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And He did answer it in an
incredible series of events
00:07:45.87\00:07:48.74
where getting off
of work one Friday,
00:07:48.77\00:07:52.37
I asked to get some
drugs and I was so rock solid.
00:07:52.40\00:07:54.84
It just triggered my addiction
button on turbo repeat.
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I was so mad, I
wasted all that time
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getting home before I found it.
00:07:59.44\00:08:00.75
Went back in and got lot more
drugs from a real drug dealer
00:08:00.78\00:08:04.41
and I binged clearly
into Monday and Tuesday.
00:08:04.44\00:08:06.59
Normally by Monday and
Tuesday I am sobering up
00:08:06.62\00:08:08.41
but Monday and
Tuesday, fourth and fifth days
00:08:08.44\00:08:10.96
awake with no food or
water, it was hell on wheels.
00:08:10.99\00:08:16.10
It was incredible.
00:08:16.13\00:08:17.20
I never had the
delusions that I had.
00:08:17.23\00:08:18.65
Things were
appearing and disappearing
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out of my skin,
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I would see
things grab on to them,
00:08:21.73\00:08:22.98
I miss them and
then they just disperse
00:08:23.01\00:08:25.19
and just horrible
things going on with my mind
00:08:25.22\00:08:27.97
being handed over to the devil.
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You are risking your
very sanity at that point.
00:08:29.30\00:08:30.80
Yeah, yeah.
00:08:30.83\00:08:31.86
I realized-- I realized
00:08:31.89\00:08:33.31
when I saw that thing
disappearing into hands
00:08:33.34\00:08:35.02
I realized I
might-- my brain might crack
00:08:35.05\00:08:38.21
if I didn't
believe that could happen.
00:08:38.24\00:08:39.73
I might just lose
it completely right now
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and I realize this is
the spirits messing with me.
00:08:41.73\00:08:44.73
But still I had no control
over when it would happen next--
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Let me just say for any
addict because a lot of us are--
00:08:47.53\00:08:51.75
we are so crazy
deceived and a lot of us
00:08:51.78\00:08:55.80
don't realize that
there are so many times
00:08:55.83\00:08:58.00
that God will give us a warning
00:08:58.03\00:08:59.62
that you are
risking your very sanity.
00:08:59.65\00:09:02.36
You are taking
the neuron-chemical
00:09:02.39\00:09:05.74
part of your brain that balances
00:09:05.77\00:09:08.68
so incredibly
and you may tweak it
00:09:08.71\00:09:11.14
to the point you
will to come back.
00:09:11.17\00:09:13.23
And God says, you know,
00:09:13.26\00:09:14.48
I am trying to
get in front of you
00:09:14.51\00:09:15.96
and say stop, stop now,
00:09:15.99\00:09:17.79
I can't force you to
stop, I can't wish you to stop,
00:09:17.82\00:09:20.80
I can't love
you in this stopping
00:09:20.83\00:09:23.68
but please, pay attention
and we'll beat this thing.
00:09:23.71\00:09:26.73
Yeah.
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That's what it was
too, God's love restored me
00:09:27.82\00:09:30.81
to sanity that very day.
00:09:30.84\00:09:32.60
I-- the house is
just horribly filthy,
00:09:32.63\00:09:34.79
there is oil and disgusting
things all over the place
00:09:34.82\00:09:37.60
and the cats are
harried and harassed.
00:09:37.63\00:09:38.98
And I am just so weak
from being awake so long.
00:09:39.01\00:09:40.53
You say I can handle this
00:09:40.56\00:09:41.59
but I am just so weak
I just can't handle it.
00:09:41.62\00:09:43.98
And I am walking
around the counter
00:09:44.01\00:09:45.66
and there's more on the horizon
00:09:45.69\00:09:47.65
then I was supposed to
do more with this girl later
00:09:47.68\00:09:49.77
and I'd never been on that level
00:09:49.80\00:09:50.91
of adulterous stuff
with dealer's daughter
00:09:50.94\00:09:53.53
and it was all set
up by Satan as a king,
00:09:53.56\00:09:55.69
checkmate move and I
couldn't say no to this,
00:09:55.72\00:09:58.00
you know, succubus girlfriend,
what a wonderful deal.
00:09:58.03\00:10:01.03
No, God bless her, it's
not her but the demon behind.
00:10:01.06\00:10:03.79
And so I walk around the
corner in my filthy house
00:10:03.82\00:10:05.95
and I look at the
top of my microwave,
00:10:05.98\00:10:07.07
it's a white microwave,
00:10:07.10\00:10:08.13
it's the only
clean thing in my house.
00:10:08.16\00:10:09.44
I remember staring at
that just hopeless, helpless.
00:10:09.47\00:10:12.19
I am supposed to
go work in an hour
00:10:12.22\00:10:13.87
and I know I can't
produce anything worth working
00:10:13.90\00:10:16.03
and I just-- I am horrified
at everything around me.
00:10:16.06\00:10:19.17
And I hear a small
voice, I hear the idea of God
00:10:19.20\00:10:22.35
I think later about,
I think God was calling,
00:10:22.38\00:10:24.86
where are you,
Guy, where are you?
00:10:24.89\00:10:28.13
The voice of God was
clear and obvious to me
00:10:28.16\00:10:30.62
as a calm simple sound
in the chaos around me,
00:10:30.65\00:10:33.42
it was obviously
God and I felt still.
00:10:33.45\00:10:35.79
And I went God, I am
dead, I reckon I have no hope.
00:10:35.82\00:10:40.27
There's no reason to hope.
00:10:40.30\00:10:42.16
I've got 50, half
a gram more with me,
00:10:42.19\00:10:44.65
I am an addict,
I can't have drugs
00:10:44.68\00:10:45.97
and not do them,
I am going to end up
00:10:46.00\00:10:48.10
insane or dead
or my cats will die.
00:10:48.13\00:10:50.97
He said, well, to
repent you just have to
00:10:51.00\00:10:53.77
honestly draw near to
Me, I'll draw near to you.
00:10:53.80\00:10:55.98
It takes two, it's not just you.
00:10:56.01\00:10:57.47
I said, two or
three to repent too much,
00:10:57.50\00:10:58.95
I just-- will just
take the smallest step,
00:10:58.98\00:11:01.12
you can take towards Me.
00:11:01.15\00:11:03.05
And there's a
pile of magazines there
00:11:03.08\00:11:05.13
and I said, all right, I
have nothing better to do,
00:11:05.16\00:11:07.68
I will try and I
grab half a stack
00:11:07.71\00:11:09.52
and I head towards the garage
00:11:09.55\00:11:10.89
to go out to the garbage can.
00:11:10.92\00:11:12.44
I hear the devil
chatting to me the things
00:11:12.47\00:11:14.11
he said before,
yeah, throw those away,
00:11:14.14\00:11:16.79
you'll be in your own trash
00:11:16.82\00:11:17.99
by 4 o'clock tonight, I promise.
00:11:18.02\00:11:19.60
You'll be digging them back out.
00:11:19.63\00:11:20.67
You'll be digging them back out.
00:11:20.70\00:11:21.73
You know you have me
for it, you'll do it again.
00:11:21.76\00:11:25.37
And that hurt and so I argued,
00:11:25.40\00:11:26.95
I said, you know
00:11:26.98\00:11:28.02
what I am only going
to throw the things away
00:11:28.05\00:11:29.44
that I've looked at
already, I'll save the rest
00:11:29.47\00:11:31.27
and I put them up on a shelf.
00:11:31.30\00:11:33.63
And that's-- I just
had to keep going forward,
00:11:33.66\00:11:35.42
I know that's not for repentance
00:11:35.45\00:11:36.74
but I was so
tattered, my mind was broke
00:11:36.77\00:11:38.92
and I head back into the garage,
00:11:38.95\00:11:40.21
back into the house
and light is charging
00:11:40.24\00:11:43.00
into the corners of my future,
I am taking the right steps,
00:11:43.03\00:11:46.17
kind of I am
heading the right direction,
00:11:46.20\00:11:47.75
I feel in the angel
world that angels of light
00:11:47.78\00:11:50.84
have permission to come in here,
00:11:50.87\00:11:52.70
come in here and there's
light charging in around,
00:11:52.73\00:11:54.77
battle fronts are
shifting, I can feel that.
00:11:54.80\00:11:56.91
And as I walk into the kitchen
I hear the Holy Spirit say,
00:11:56.94\00:11:59.66
today is trash
day, all the things
00:11:59.69\00:12:01.29
you throw away are going right
00:12:01.32\00:12:02.46
into the dump truck
here in about an hour.
00:12:02.49\00:12:04.68
I am like, oh, yes.
00:12:04.71\00:12:06.08
And that gave me
such hope, such joy,
00:12:06.11\00:12:07.81
I was-- that just kept me going
00:12:07.84\00:12:09.58
and so I walk in around
and I started to wiping up
00:12:09.61\00:12:12.52
the oil on the floor and--
00:12:12.55\00:12:14.05
Isn't God awesome in that way?
00:12:14.08\00:12:15.11
Isn't He great?
00:12:15.14\00:12:16.17
Because He just
says, you know what,
00:12:16.20\00:12:17.45
Tracy, I love
you and I promise you
00:12:17.48\00:12:20.34
this is different,
this will be different.
00:12:20.37\00:12:22.54
Right now you
made that baby step
00:12:22.57\00:12:24.89
and I will take it
right to the dumpster.
00:12:24.92\00:12:26.81
Yeah. That was it.
This was so different.
00:12:26.84\00:12:29.70
I could just feel
it that I walked around
00:12:29.73\00:12:31.38
into the kitchen
and in the living room
00:12:31.41\00:12:32.86
there was a dead mouse there,
00:12:32.89\00:12:33.92
ripped open and
torn and disgusting
00:12:33.95\00:12:35.26
and I didn't know
where it came from.
00:12:35.29\00:12:36.32
I've been there all night,
00:12:36.35\00:12:37.38
I don't know where it came from.
00:12:37.41\00:12:38.44
Trying to clean it up,
it was almost impossible,
00:12:38.47\00:12:39.87
I know it was
because it was grabbing on
00:12:39.90\00:12:42.21
and moving and it was horrible.
00:12:42.24\00:12:43.98
And I just poured
soap and water on it,
00:12:44.01\00:12:46.21
I found that the evil creature
don't like soap and water.
00:12:46.24\00:12:48.70
So I cleaned that up but
it freaked me out so much.
00:12:48.73\00:12:51.69
And I realize, oh, I
have 50 grams of drug,
00:12:51.72\00:12:53.84
what to do with
those or half a gram drugs?
00:12:53.87\00:12:57.22
As I am stashing it in, I said,
00:12:57.25\00:12:58.61
well, I'll just sell
it back to the dealer,
00:12:58.64\00:13:00.14
easy answer, you know.
00:13:00.17\00:13:02.18
A druggie
answer. A druggie answer.
00:13:02.21\00:13:03.82
That's exactly
what we would think
00:13:03.85\00:13:05.55
because you can't
just dump it in a toilet.
00:13:05.58\00:13:07.19
No. You can't throw it away.
00:13:07.22\00:13:09.42
Well, you spent
money that would be stupid.
00:13:09.45\00:13:12.00
And so--
00:13:12.03\00:13:13.28
Well, you know
what, for most addicts
00:13:13.31\00:13:14.66
you know what they will
say, just put it in a cupboard
00:13:14.69\00:13:16.37
because you're gonna
need that by 4 o'clock.
00:13:16.40\00:13:18.30
Yeah, that's the argument
in the back of our head.
00:13:18.33\00:13:21.88
And I hear buzzers going off
00:13:21.91\00:13:23.13
which was the
Holy Spirit saying,
00:13:23.16\00:13:25.02
there's two things wrong
00:13:25.05\00:13:26.11
with stuffing
this into a baggie.
00:13:26.14\00:13:27.47
First, you don't put
sin in a storage bag,,
00:13:27.50\00:13:29.17
that's like making a
provision for the flesh
00:13:29.20\00:13:31.71
to fulfill luster
all the scripture.
00:13:31.74\00:13:33.43
And the other one is
if I have this past noon,
00:13:33.46\00:13:35.34
my heart will change
00:13:35.37\00:13:36.40
and I will do these drugs
myself if I have them on me.
00:13:36.43\00:13:38.73
Absolutely.
00:13:38.76\00:13:40.94
And so I realize that but
I have to just keep moving.
00:13:40.97\00:13:44.26
And so I go and I start
wiping the oil in the floor
00:13:44.29\00:13:47.02
and I clean up the mouse guts,
00:13:47.05\00:13:48.90
that's actually when I did that.
00:13:48.93\00:13:50.37
As I come around the corner
from cleaning up the mouse
00:13:50.40\00:13:52.62
I hear the Holy
Spirit burst in, those drugs,
00:13:52.65\00:13:54.97
throw them away the
sink is right over there.
00:13:55.00\00:13:57.40
Oh, okay.
00:13:57.43\00:13:58.47
And I grab on to it,
I head towards the sink,
00:13:58.50\00:14:00.58
I had freedom over
addiction at that moment,
00:14:00.61\00:14:03.00
for a moment
until I got to the sink
00:14:03.03\00:14:04.87
and in that thought
keep then in the carry
00:14:04.90\00:14:06.66
you gonna want them later
and I hear myself shrieking
00:14:06.69\00:14:08.98
no, and I was seriously
yelling at the top of my lungs.
00:14:09.01\00:14:11.00
Inside, oh.
00:14:11.03\00:14:12.13
No! I was
seriously yelling to myself.
00:14:12.16\00:14:13.72
You literally yelling?
00:14:13.75\00:14:14.79
Yeah, I was in my and
I couldn't throw it away.
00:14:14.82\00:14:17.66
I was hovering over the
sink, should I throw them away,
00:14:17.69\00:14:19.43
should I wash
them out, should I not
00:14:19.46\00:14:21.08
and as I think
back about it I realize
00:14:21.11\00:14:22.96
that the angels of
light were around my heart
00:14:22.99\00:14:25.46
and my free will,
arm and arm length
00:14:25.49\00:14:27.64
saying hold the
line, hold the line.
00:14:27.67\00:14:29.76
You know, we need
free will right here.
00:14:29.79\00:14:31.34
And the demons are
shrieking over the edge.
00:14:31.37\00:14:33.59
That is precious to
us, do not throw that away.
00:14:33.62\00:14:35.87
This is the gold
we drag and sit upon,
00:14:35.90\00:14:38.22
you know, inside
from human flesh.
00:14:38.25\00:14:40.25
And so I hear the Holy
Spirit say, God himself saying,
00:14:40.28\00:14:44.62
truly, would you give up heaven?
00:14:44.65\00:14:46.30
Would you go to hell
for this half a gram meth?
00:14:46.33\00:14:48.71
And I couldn't answer--
Could you give your sanity up?
00:14:48.74\00:14:50.41
Give your sanity up?
00:14:50.44\00:14:51.47
And I couldn't answer
because my mind was so rag
00:14:51.50\00:14:53.73
and I was like, well,
if I can't throw it away
00:14:53.76\00:14:55.83
so I guess I
would give up on Him.
00:14:55.86\00:14:57.49
And He said, well,
aren't you in hell already?
00:14:57.52\00:15:00.69
That sentence right there
was the answer to my prayer
00:15:00.72\00:15:03.49
because at that point
I just broke into tear,
00:15:03.52\00:15:05.58
I washed the baggie out.
00:15:05.61\00:15:06.82
I was in hell
already, I did not see that.
00:15:06.85\00:15:09.54
Seriously, I did not
see I was in hell already
00:15:09.57\00:15:11.46
and it was something
that I caused fulfilling
00:15:11.49\00:15:14.66
my will with drug, the
great expectation of meth,
00:15:14.69\00:15:17.65
I was in hell with
demons all round me.
00:15:17.68\00:15:20.09
So is that the worth
keeping? No, I washed it out.
00:15:20.12\00:15:23.33
And I laughed till I cried
and then I called the pastor
00:15:23.36\00:15:25.68
and we said
prayers and seriously
00:15:25.71\00:15:28.85
God restored my sanity that day.
00:15:28.88\00:15:31.24
Even though I had
incredible delusions at work,
00:15:31.27\00:15:33.68
I cannot define to this
day why I was seeing the things
00:15:33.71\00:15:36.97
I was seeing, I thought clearly.
00:15:37.00\00:15:39.56
And for four months I
was changed completely
00:15:39.59\00:15:44.05
to not even want to
call the drug dealer
00:15:44.08\00:15:46.53
which is just a miracle.
00:15:46.56\00:15:47.60
Every weekend I was calling.
00:15:47.63\00:15:48.88
Nobody except for another addict
00:15:48.91\00:15:50.72
would say that's a miracle.
00:15:50.75\00:15:51.78
It is a miracle.
00:15:51.81\00:15:52.86
Yeah, it's a miracle
00:15:52.89\00:15:53.92
that I get in
call every weekend.
00:15:53.95\00:15:55.74
God said, I am
gonna give you a break,
00:15:55.77\00:15:57.13
I am going to
give you some rest.
00:15:57.16\00:15:58.59
Yeah, He gave me
a four month rest
00:15:58.62\00:16:00.33
that I knew people would say,
00:16:00.36\00:16:01.39
oh, you got to
be careful and that,
00:16:01.42\00:16:02.93
you know, I was just changed.
00:16:02.96\00:16:05.24
And now-- of
course now I daily battle,
00:16:05.27\00:16:08.48
I daily have to
thank God and say,
00:16:08.51\00:16:10.57
I am glad I am sober, God.
00:16:10.60\00:16:12.05
I was hopeless, now I am
so full of hope, you know.
00:16:12.08\00:16:15.46
I was wretched sin, pathetic
00:16:15.49\00:16:18.81
and I am not
adulterous counseling,
00:16:18.84\00:16:21.55
you know, I love my wife now.
00:16:21.58\00:16:24.77
But yeah, everyday
there's addictions.
00:16:24.80\00:16:26.87
In fact, this week when I
heard I was coming on the show--
00:16:26.90\00:16:28.55
Before we go
there, before we go there
00:16:28.58\00:16:30.21
because I-- you know,
00:16:30.24\00:16:32.05
this struggle and
giving up your will
00:16:32.08\00:16:34.74
when they come up is
incredible and we'll get there.
00:16:34.77\00:16:37.61
But I want to
know, tell me a day
00:16:37.64\00:16:41.10
beside the first day
that when you finally flush
00:16:41.13\00:16:43.68
that drug I just--
my heart leaped for you
00:16:43.71\00:16:46.29
when you said
that, that was so cool.
00:16:46.32\00:16:48.32
But what the peace look like
00:16:48.35\00:16:50.21
as it started
coming into your home,
00:16:50.24\00:16:52.16
as your cats could rest?
00:16:52.19\00:16:54.16
See, that's the thing.
00:16:54.19\00:16:55.23
That's the first
thing I think I'll chose.
00:16:55.26\00:16:57.29
I used to say I
love you kitties,
00:16:57.32\00:16:58.44
I am sorry, it will get better,
00:16:58.47\00:17:00.33
because that's
seemed just terrified
00:17:00.36\00:17:02.12
looking around,
panic constantly.
00:17:02.15\00:17:03.89
And I realize to
say, I love you to them
00:17:03.92\00:17:05.62
is to be sober
it's not just the word.
00:17:05.65\00:17:07.33
Do I care for them?
00:17:07.36\00:17:08.39
And so in that
way it just the peace
00:17:08.42\00:17:11.22
and the love, the environment
00:17:11.25\00:17:13.44
that was so
scared with dirty things
00:17:13.47\00:17:15.28
now I was rebuilding
over the top, healthy things.
00:17:15.31\00:17:18.83
You know it was wonderful
00:17:18.86\00:17:21.12
because I feel like,
like you look all the time,
00:17:21.15\00:17:23.33
like the Cheri she's
just insane but free.
00:17:23.36\00:17:26.89
She's a freed slave, she knows
00:17:26.92\00:17:28.48
how bad it can be and how
wonderful it is to be free.
00:17:28.51\00:17:31.58
And the fact that we
go to the same church
00:17:31.61\00:17:34.88
is I get to watch
you walk in the door.
00:17:34.91\00:17:37.39
And I watched,
man, I don't even know
00:17:37.42\00:17:39.90
if you going to
want to share this
00:17:39.93\00:17:41.17
but I watched somebody come
on to you one time in church.
00:17:41.20\00:17:43.93
Oh, yeah. And you
did the right thing.
00:17:43.96\00:17:45.34
Really?
00:17:45.37\00:17:46.40
And I wanted to
put thumps up, like--
00:17:46.43\00:17:48.58
and I wanted to say to
God, did you just see Tracy
00:17:48.61\00:17:51.80
because he did the right thing.
00:17:51.83\00:17:53.04
This person would have
done anything just to get
00:17:53.07\00:17:55.30
`Your number and
to get You to go,
00:17:55.33\00:17:57.14
do the next--
whatever and you just politely,
00:17:57.17\00:18:00.81
and kind of
stepped away, went on--
00:18:00.84\00:18:02.87
Thank God. Yeah.
00:18:02.90\00:18:04.64
But that is the only God
that He contained our desires
00:18:04.67\00:18:07.61
that even when
somebody throws himself out us
00:18:07.64\00:18:09.86
when somebody
actually comes around
00:18:09.89\00:18:11.77
and offers us the same direction
00:18:11.80\00:18:14.65
or the same entrapment
that the Holy Spirit says
00:18:14.68\00:18:17.81
don't put your
hand in that trap.
00:18:17.84\00:18:19.18
Yeah, that's right.
00:18:19.21\00:18:20.35
Yeah. Don't do it.
00:18:20.38\00:18:21.41
That's the beauty of
what God does for us.
00:18:21.44\00:18:23.24
Yeah.
00:18:23.27\00:18:24.30
That's, I am so thankful
for what He's done for me.
00:18:24.33\00:18:26.22
That's true. It's
absolutely amazing.
00:18:26.25\00:18:28.48
And I know at the cafe
right now we have questions.
00:18:28.51\00:18:31.48
And so, Brad, you are from--
00:18:31.51\00:18:35.29
you go to the same
church as Tracy of course.
00:18:35.32\00:18:38.41
Right.
00:18:38.44\00:18:39.47
And do you have
any questions for him,
00:18:39.50\00:18:40.98
any comments for him?
00:18:41.01\00:18:42.35
So, Tracy, I just want to say,
00:18:42.38\00:18:44.10
thanks so much for coming
00:18:44.13\00:18:45.27
and because I go
to your church too,
00:18:45.30\00:18:47.93
it's been just a joy to
listen to your testimony
00:18:47.96\00:18:51.38
and watch what's
taking place in your life,
00:18:51.41\00:18:53.16
it's really--
it's just a blessing.
00:18:53.19\00:18:55.60
So it's really interesting,
I would not have belief
00:18:55.63\00:18:59.16
in the demonic side of things
00:18:59.19\00:19:01.32
you know, early on in my life
00:19:01.35\00:19:03.37
and for even early
on my Christian walk
00:19:03.40\00:19:05.08
for that matter until
an experience took place.
00:19:05.11\00:19:08.01
Actually I was honored
enough to be able to join Cheri
00:19:08.04\00:19:10.65
in a ministry in another country
00:19:10.68\00:19:12.38
and we were
doing some personal one
00:19:12.41\00:19:13.72
on one counseling
sessions with different people.
00:19:13.75\00:19:16.12
And we were
working with this one woman
00:19:16.15\00:19:18.48
and the way she was
responding was so interesting
00:19:18.51\00:19:24.15
and you know, and you would see
00:19:24.18\00:19:25.81
this personality
change all of a sudden
00:19:25.84\00:19:27.82
where, it's like what happened?
00:19:27.85\00:19:30.00
I remember I just said to Cheri,
00:19:30.03\00:19:31.37
excuse me for a
minute, can I talk to you.
00:19:31.40\00:19:33.90
And we went around
the corner and I said,
00:19:33.93\00:19:35.86
I think we need to ask
her this because in this case,
00:19:35.89\00:19:37.98
what was
interesting for you I think,
00:19:38.01\00:19:39.48
your exposure came
through the drugs, right.
00:19:39.51\00:19:41.31
You opened the door.
00:19:41.34\00:19:42.82
And in her case she had,
00:19:42.85\00:19:44.04
had some tribal
influence early on.
00:19:44.07\00:19:46.41
And from a tribal
culture that believed
00:19:46.44\00:19:49.17
in things different than
what we do as Christians.
00:19:49.20\00:19:52.96
And so I
mentioned something to Cheri
00:19:52.99\00:19:54.68
and she just said to me,
okay, we can ask that question
00:19:54.71\00:19:57.09
but be prepare to
see the demon if you do.
00:19:57.12\00:20:00.50
And so we sat back down
and I am still pretty new,
00:20:00.53\00:20:02.59
and we asked the
question and I am telling you,
00:20:02.62\00:20:05.16
this was not the
person talking back.
00:20:05.19\00:20:08.15
And even later on,
and so we got to a point
00:20:08.18\00:20:10.82
where we ended the session
00:20:10.85\00:20:12.32
because we couldn't move forward
00:20:12.35\00:20:13.45
without actually almost going
into trying to do an exorcism
00:20:13.48\00:20:16.12
or something like cast them out.
00:20:16.15\00:20:17.84
I am like, okay, I
am not ready for that.
00:20:17.87\00:20:20.25
And I saw this person
later on, I just walking by
00:20:20.28\00:20:23.47
and that person
was talking to someone
00:20:23.50\00:20:25.48
who we had counseled
with and I could tell
00:20:25.51\00:20:28.74
they were trying to
influence that person
00:20:28.77\00:20:31.71
in a way
against what we've done.
00:20:31.74\00:20:33.22
And as I walked
by she looked at me
00:20:33.25\00:20:35.71
and she said, oh,
I'll have time for you
00:20:35.74\00:20:38.83
after I am done with this one.
00:20:38.86\00:20:40.54
Wow.
00:20:40.57\00:20:41.60
And I thought
that is not something
00:20:41.63\00:20:43.58
a normal person would say.
00:20:43.61\00:20:45.74
That to me, I was so
clear, I am just thinking that--
00:20:45.77\00:20:49.63
and when you said
that, I believe it.
00:20:49.66\00:20:52.25
And you know, I had that
kind of experience with that.
00:20:52.28\00:20:54.27
So it was interesting.
00:20:54.30\00:20:56.02
But what I want to ask you about
00:20:56.05\00:20:58.61
is because I
know that maintenance
00:20:58.64\00:21:00.68
is part of what
we're talking about.
00:21:00.71\00:21:02.49
So now you're at this place
00:21:02.52\00:21:04.00
where you are into your
recovery and doing this.
00:21:04.03\00:21:07.09
So talk maybe a little bit more
00:21:07.12\00:21:09.12
about what you do to
maintain where you are at and--
00:21:09.15\00:21:12.90
I am not even say
00:21:12.93\00:21:13.97
maintain your forward
motion in your walk with God.
00:21:14.00\00:21:16.64
Nice. And I love that question.
00:21:16.67\00:21:18.66
And that is a serious concern.
00:21:18.69\00:21:20.57
It's like Paul had, he
had a messenger from Satan
00:21:20.60\00:21:23.89
that came to
harass him and he prayed--
00:21:23.92\00:21:26.04
have to take him away and it
wouldn't, to keep him humble.
00:21:26.07\00:21:28.24
I have the same thing.
00:21:28.27\00:21:29.30
I still deal
with this side effects
00:21:29.33\00:21:30.70
of knowing the spiritual world
00:21:30.73\00:21:31.95
is so close to
us, it's tied into us.
00:21:31.98\00:21:34.05
And I have to say that I
pray to God every morning,
00:21:34.08\00:21:38.84
thank you for
today, please be in my life
00:21:38.87\00:21:41.87
and please live in my heart
00:21:41.90\00:21:43.06
because I know that we humans
are built to house spirits.
00:21:43.09\00:21:46.96
And it is what God intendeds is
00:21:46.99\00:21:49.15
that we live with Him every day.
00:21:49.18\00:21:50.42
And everything I did
while I was on high with meth
00:21:50.45\00:21:53.87
was accompanied by
spirit directly embedded
00:21:53.90\00:21:55.93
between me and the thing I
was using was an evil spirit.
00:21:55.96\00:21:59.79
Now with God
there's a good spirit
00:21:59.82\00:22:02.06
directly connected
with everything I touch.
00:22:02.09\00:22:04.74
And so this is holy ground.
00:22:04.77\00:22:06.66
And I defiantly pray, read
the Bible morning and night,
00:22:06.69\00:22:09.36
I pray all day
long because I do--
00:22:09.39\00:22:11.92
I don't want to say, I
sense things or whatever
00:22:11.95\00:22:13.97
but I am aware
of the enemy schemes
00:22:14.00\00:22:16.61
and a lot of them
are in the personalities
00:22:16.64\00:22:19.13
that people are
feeding up as feasts to him,
00:22:19.16\00:22:21.91
you know, intolerance,
impatience, rudeness,
00:22:21.94\00:22:24.24
all these things
are the evil spirits
00:22:24.27\00:22:26.04
laying real close to someone
00:22:26.07\00:22:27.22
and inspiring that
sort of things and--
00:22:27.25\00:22:28.62
Well, you know, I have to say
00:22:28.65\00:22:29.81
that I heard a
statement one time
00:22:29.84\00:22:31.62
that was powerful to me.
00:22:31.65\00:22:32.97
Said behind every addiction
00:22:33.00\00:22:34.90
is a demon
waiting to be worshiped.
00:22:34.93\00:22:36.42
Yeah. Yeah.
00:22:36.45\00:22:37.48
And I thought, oh,
shut up. Are you kidding me?
00:22:37.51\00:22:40.29
So behind our angry outburst
or behind our eating disorder,
00:22:40.32\00:22:45.02
behind our sexual addictions,
behind all that kind of stuff
00:22:45.05\00:22:48.14
I don't think that we
realize how many times
00:22:48.17\00:22:50.25
we are demonically influenced
00:22:50.28\00:22:53.19
and kind of moved
forward in our addiction.
00:22:53.22\00:22:56.09
And God said the only
thing that's gonna get you free
00:22:56.12\00:22:59.42
is when you
acknowledge that, repent of that
00:22:59.45\00:23:02.21
and come back to
me, step into the light.
00:23:02.24\00:23:05.19
Literally I am trying
to get your very sanity,
00:23:05.22\00:23:08.26
defiantly your eternal life.
00:23:08.29\00:23:10.12
But before your eternal life
00:23:10.15\00:23:11.66
even your sanity I
am trying to restore.
00:23:11.69\00:23:13.85
That's a huge part of the answer
00:23:13.88\00:23:15.42
and part of that
question as well is to stop
00:23:15.45\00:23:17.59
looking at the demons
and look towards the light.
00:23:17.62\00:23:19.83
That's the biggest step to take
is to stop looking for that.
00:23:19.86\00:23:23.26
Sure they are all
around you in personalities
00:23:23.29\00:23:25.36
and things not going
right, corners catching.
00:23:25.39\00:23:27.55
But looking at Jesus
and ignoring the demons
00:23:27.58\00:23:30.16
is the right way to go
00:23:30.19\00:23:31.22
to produce good
spirits and good fruits,
00:23:31.25\00:23:33.33
I have to become more like God
00:23:33.36\00:23:34.67
and to look at Him is
to become more like Him,
00:23:34.70\00:23:37.44
and through the Bible
is a good way to do it
00:23:37.47\00:23:38.96
and 3ABN has helped me so much.
00:23:38.99\00:23:40.97
I keep that on, it's
the only channel in my--
00:23:41.00\00:23:42.78
I love when you said
you watched our program.
00:23:42.81\00:23:44.94
Oh, yeah, I watched your program
00:23:44.97\00:23:46.20
while I was in
recovery, while I down in it.
00:23:46.23\00:23:47.29
How funny is that?
Yeah, it's awesome.
00:23:47.32\00:23:49.17
I was like, wow.
00:23:49.20\00:23:50.45
There's that
warning at the beginning,
00:23:50.48\00:23:51.82
"Parents be caution,
there are extreme..."
00:23:51.85\00:23:53.13
you know.
00:23:53.16\00:23:54.25
I am like, hey,
this is a good show.
00:23:54.28\00:23:55.88
Here some freed slavery
exhumer crazy lady, I love it.
00:23:55.91\00:24:01.78
I can relate to you very much.
00:24:01.81\00:24:02.92
I feel the same way
like I've been so down
00:24:02.95\00:24:05.83
and dark and
oppressed than now I feel--
00:24:05.86\00:24:08.19
I feel like I am living a
supernatural life al the time
00:24:08.22\00:24:10.50
because God is
with me and I know
00:24:10.53\00:24:13.24
that there is more
than what we see around here
00:24:13.27\00:24:14.86
and that's a blessing.
00:24:14.89\00:24:15.94
I mean, if people could
all see that and handle it,
00:24:15.97\00:24:18.38
it would be so cool to know
that God is right here with us
00:24:18.41\00:24:21.20
in the holy ministry
angles are all around.
00:24:21.23\00:24:23.33
The 911 called
the Bible Psalms 91:11
00:24:23.36\00:24:26.69
"For he should give his
angels charge over thee,
00:24:26.72\00:24:28.16
to keep thee in all thy ways."
00:24:28.19\00:24:29.34
It's a promise,
it's happening right now.
00:24:29.37\00:24:30.42
Yah I know.
00:24:30.45\00:24:31.51
And been able to say
you know, Tracy, I'd love.
00:24:31.54\00:24:35.09
Is the fact that I
need to switch my gears,
00:24:35.12\00:24:38.80
because the one of the
things that I thought when--
00:24:38.83\00:24:42.21
you know, I came to Christ is
00:24:42.24\00:24:43.77
I was so afraid
of the demonic stuff.
00:24:43.80\00:24:45.66
I have been
homeless for ten years,
00:24:45.69\00:24:46.98
I have seen how dark
people's lives can get in,
00:24:47.01\00:24:49.76
how twisted their
addition could be.
00:24:49.79\00:24:51.73
I have seen demons
really control folks,
00:24:51.76\00:24:55.02
take the-- you know,
00:24:55.05\00:24:56.09
I have seen
people take the lives
00:24:56.12\00:24:58.28
because of this disperse
and all that kind of stuff.
00:24:58.31\00:25:01.54
And so now I'm afraid,
I'm like God I'm afraid,
00:25:01.57\00:25:04.63
because I'm afraid
of these, this influence
00:25:04.66\00:25:07.81
and so it takes me
to revelations like--
00:25:07.84\00:25:11.36
I think it's 19 or 20.
00:25:11.39\00:25:13.31
And He says that at
the end of the whole thing
00:25:13.34\00:25:15.83
when Satan is
bound for 1,000 years.
00:25:15.86\00:25:19.42
You know, He said, I
want you to read about that.
00:25:19.45\00:25:21.19
So I'm like how
cool and so read it
00:25:21.22\00:25:23.11
and angel comes
down from heaven.
00:25:23.14\00:25:25.23
And He says read it again.
00:25:25.26\00:25:27.90
An angel comes down from heaven,
00:25:27.93\00:25:29.19
I am ADD and He
says "read it again"
00:25:29.22\00:25:31.02
are you not clear read it again.
00:25:31.05\00:25:32.71
And so now I'm
gonna little irritated,
00:25:32.74\00:25:34.36
I'm speaking, what
you mean to read it again?
00:25:34.39\00:25:35.84
I read it fine.
00:25:35.87\00:25:37.04
Angel comes down from heaven
00:25:37.07\00:25:38.33
and then I hear the Holy
Spirit to how many angels?
00:25:38.36\00:25:41.82
An angel, one.
00:25:41.85\00:25:43.55
One angel can
bind the devil himself
00:25:43.58\00:25:46.25
at the end of the whole thing,
00:25:46.28\00:25:48.44
and you don't
think I had at least
00:25:48.47\00:25:49.98
one around you, at all times.
00:25:50.01\00:25:51.72
There are times in our lives
00:25:51.75\00:25:53.60
God says legions of
angels are around you.
00:25:53.63\00:25:56.13
Because the battle is
raging, the storm is raging,
00:25:56.16\00:25:59.38
but I am God and I will
not leave you powerless.
00:25:59.41\00:26:02.27
This battle is been won by Me.
00:26:02.30\00:26:04.46
The only that doesn't
know at right now is you.
00:26:04.49\00:26:06.90
Correct. Because
devil himself knows it.
00:26:06.93\00:26:08.24
Yeah. The demons know it.
00:26:08.27\00:26:10.01
They know that if they
can get you to believe a lie
00:26:10.04\00:26:12.52
and to take yourself
out then they've won.
00:26:12.55\00:26:15.31
That's the only way they won.
00:26:15.34\00:26:16.50
But you look up for a second
00:26:16.53\00:26:18.03
and say God I give the
battle to You, we are free.
00:26:18.06\00:26:21.86
Yeah, that's what I found too.
00:26:21.89\00:26:23.52
Huge.
00:26:23.55\00:26:24.88
Yeah, I found that too, is a--
00:26:24.91\00:26:26.94
the devil's know
they are defeated
00:26:26.97\00:26:28.31
and I once I got
upset and gone mad about it
00:26:28.34\00:26:30.51
and was honest
about my repentance,
00:26:30.54\00:26:32.04
I had to yell out some points.
00:26:32.07\00:26:33.74
You are defeated
foe, get away from me.
00:26:33.77\00:26:35.78
And that's sincerely
whole heartedness it works.
00:26:35.81\00:26:38.68
You have no powered yet.
00:26:38.71\00:26:40.16
No power to me and
the fact that I was--
00:26:40.19\00:26:41.92
And a child of God.
00:26:41.95\00:26:42.98
In fear or lacking faith
00:26:43.01\00:26:44.30
was where they were
gaining ground on me.
00:26:44.33\00:26:46.16
So any time I was afraid
was when they were winning.
00:26:46.19\00:26:48.96
But once I stopped looking them,
00:26:48.99\00:26:50.33
stopped fearing them
then God was working with me--
00:26:50.36\00:26:53.84
And even-- even in your--
00:26:53.87\00:26:55.69
and this is gonna be
tough for lot of people to hear,
00:26:55.72\00:26:58.03
but even as you
stumble is your faith
00:26:58.06\00:27:00.57
in the demons are in God?
00:27:00.60\00:27:02.28
Oh, in God constantly.
00:27:02.31\00:27:03.79
Yeah, there is
days I stumble and fall.
00:27:03.82\00:27:05.87
I'm not living a
super natural life
00:27:05.90\00:27:07.51
and I won't have my guard
up and I will just stab someone
00:27:07.54\00:27:10.86
in the back really hard
and just lose my character--
00:27:10.89\00:27:14.62
For normal people he
didn't mean that literarily.
00:27:14.65\00:27:16.59
Not
literarily-- I'm just saying,
00:27:16.62\00:27:19.09
because you just were to
say so how crazy is that.
00:27:19.12\00:27:20.17
Thank you for that.
00:27:20.20\00:27:21.23
Because I don't I just-- I
don't like stabbing people,
00:27:21.26\00:27:22.78
I know, I mean-- I work you know
00:27:22.81\00:27:25.18
I'm nice guy and this
guy every like to you know,
00:27:25.21\00:27:27.16
thank God, there's
this love for people
00:27:27.19\00:27:29.08
that I have now and I
like to say hi to every one.
00:27:29.11\00:27:31.09
I'm learning new
names constantly--
00:27:31.12\00:27:32.21
And when you say
stabbing the back,
00:27:32.24\00:27:33.43
I don't like God's
opinion about them--
00:27:33.46\00:27:34.83
So let's stab in
the back, exactly.
00:27:34.86\00:27:35.92
The line in their character,
00:27:35.95\00:27:37.16
I don't like whatever,
there is no knifes involved.
00:27:37.19\00:27:39.60
There is no knifes involved.
00:27:39.63\00:27:40.85
Yeah, but it does it
feel just horrible now.
00:27:40.88\00:27:42.81
And I see the
devil got away with one,
00:27:42.84\00:27:45.12
when I do that
like oh, I'm sorry, God.
00:27:45.15\00:27:47.10
But I love the way
that, when working with God
00:27:47.13\00:27:49.99
every scheme of the
devil backfires on him.
00:27:50.02\00:27:52.71
And like for instance
when I went into my addiction
00:27:52.74\00:27:55.17
I used to be a
deacon in at church
00:27:55.20\00:27:56.58
and I got to take
up tithes and stuff
00:27:56.61\00:27:58.47
and I like that
serving God in a simple way.
00:27:58.50\00:28:00.73
And when I fell
into my addiction
00:28:00.76\00:28:01.79
they took me off the schedule,
00:28:01.82\00:28:03.66
because it was time
to re-approve people
00:28:03.69\00:28:05.13
and I wasn't there
and I wasn't approved,
00:28:05.16\00:28:06.29
but now there are one
short on their schedule.
00:28:06.32\00:28:08.42
So I come back into the church
00:28:08.45\00:28:09.53
and so everyday I
show up to church,
00:28:09.56\00:28:11.73
I'm an automatic deacon.
00:28:11.76\00:28:12.93
So now, still been
a deacon once a month,
00:28:12.96\00:28:14.43
now I get to be
deacon whenever I show up.
00:28:14.46\00:28:16.34
I think it's awesome.
00:28:16.37\00:28:18.01
But you know, you
loving do that, you know.
00:28:18.04\00:28:20.15
I love that, you know,
yeah its such a blessing--
00:28:20.18\00:28:22.42
You never stole
from the offering plate?
00:28:22.45\00:28:24.60
No, what--
00:28:24.63\00:28:25.74
No, no you know what
because I wanted to steal
00:28:25.77\00:28:28.41
from the offering plate
for the first five years
00:28:28.44\00:28:30.96
and literally, in
you had in the back room.
00:28:30.99\00:28:33.71
Oh, yeah, that's
right, it's in the back room--
00:28:33.74\00:28:35.35
Because you know, what as a--
00:28:35.38\00:28:36.99
what's really
interesting when they say
00:28:37.02\00:28:38.76
what you do with the temptation?
00:28:38.79\00:28:40.44
Some times the temptations
00:28:40.47\00:28:41.63
come out of you
from every where.
00:28:41.66\00:28:42.94
You know, somebody sends
00:28:42.97\00:28:44.01
the offering plate in our church
00:28:44.04\00:28:45.43
and for the first five years
00:28:45.46\00:28:46.63
I had to not take
the money out of it.
00:28:46.66\00:28:48.99
You know, when
I go to put it in,
00:28:49.02\00:28:50.18
I could pretend
and just take 20 bucks.
00:28:50.21\00:28:52.90
You know and-- you like a
not even I thought of that--
00:28:52.93\00:28:56.11
I don't have that
weakness but I understand it.
00:28:56.14\00:28:57.46
But I did in the
whole time going to God
00:28:57.49\00:29:00.67
and saying God, I want
some day for that to go
00:29:00.70\00:29:03.38
buy with out me thinking that,
00:29:03.41\00:29:04.73
because that would
be a victory for me.
00:29:04.76\00:29:06.59
And He said just hold on,
because there is gonna be a day
00:29:06.62\00:29:09.50
that you will not
have that be a first start.
00:29:09.53\00:29:11.80
There is gonna be a
day that your first start
00:29:11.83\00:29:13.96
is not gonna be
the twisted start
00:29:13.99\00:29:15.74
but you have to
have faith in that.
00:29:15.77\00:29:17.55
I'm fitting the
battle and we'll get their.
00:29:17.58\00:29:20.05
That's huge.
00:29:20.08\00:29:21.11
Yeah, that's what I am
inspired to do constantly
00:29:21.14\00:29:23.21
with my struggles
of adultery and going
00:29:23.24\00:29:24.94
so deep in to the
flesh and stuff is
00:29:24.97\00:29:27.17
when I see girls
walk along side the road.
00:29:27.20\00:29:28.62
Now I'm told by the Holy Spirit
00:29:28.65\00:29:30.30
to look twice as a sin
and so I know, I got okay.
00:29:30.33\00:29:33.62
So he is giving
me strength not even
00:29:33.65\00:29:35.04
and to think them
as children of heaven
00:29:35.07\00:29:37.40
and there is so
much greater purpose
00:29:37.43\00:29:39.06
for them being here
than being a lost object.
00:29:39.09\00:29:41.26
And so I am staring
to see little growth
00:29:41.29\00:29:43.97
and that's better than
heading the wrong direction so--
00:29:44.00\00:29:46.44
We are gonna
come back for close.
00:29:46.47\00:29:48.16
Would you join me on the close?
00:29:48.19\00:29:49.58
Sure. Okay, awesome.
00:29:49.61\00:29:51.20
We are gonna come back.
00:29:51.23\00:29:52.27
If you have nothing
touched by this show
00:29:52.30\00:29:55.18
I just be surprised.
00:29:55.21\00:29:56.74
That would be surprise.
00:29:56.77\00:29:58.10
It is so
amazing, but stay with us
00:29:58.13\00:29:59.73
because I have a few more things
00:29:59.76\00:30:00.79
to say on this very topic.
00:30:00.82\00:30:02.15