The following program
discusses sensitive issues
00:00:01.06\00:00:03.29
related to addictive behavior.
00:00:03.32\00:00:05.02
Parents are
cautioned that some material
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may be too candid
for younger children.
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Welcome to
Celebrating Life in Recovery.
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This episode we're
gonna talk about choices
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and you made some
pretty twisted choices.
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But if you want to hear
that you got to join us.
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So come join us
on the café, Choices.
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We're going into
our ninth season,
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last season we
celebrate out of 100th program
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and we have
covered a ton of things.
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We have covered-- we've
had convicted sex offenders,
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we've addicts,
we've had prostitutes,
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we've had strippers,
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we've had a religious addict
which was real scary to me.
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But I mean, we just have covered
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so many
different things and people
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and ways of
recovery, but this season
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I think it's gonna
be the most important,
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but its gonna be
the most honest for me
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and I may not even have
the job at the end of it.
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So I want you to
know that this season,
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please don't write it off,
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don't think you know
what we are talking about.
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We're gonna talk
about maintenance.
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We're gonna talk about
how do you stay in recovery?
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How do you grab hold of
your life and not let go?
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How do you say no
matter what I don't care
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what comes against me,
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I'm actually
gonna choose to live
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and I'm gonna have a
life that I was meant to have,
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and I don't care
if it's a good time
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that I have to go
through or bad time.
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I don't care if I'm stressed
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or I'm just like whistling dixie
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I'm gonna get through
this, and I wanted to say--
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last a couple of weeks ago,
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I had to go in for
surgery and I have cancer
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people know that I have
large granulocytic leukemia
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and when I got
diagnose, I warn like a baby.
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It's like I don't
want to have cancer
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or this is not good,
this is not okay with me.
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And so I get used to it,
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I start seeing the
oncologist every three months,
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they do bone marrow biopsies,
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and they tell me
I have to be healthy
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even if I don't want
to and I'm like wait,
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I hate-- I have authority issues
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I don't like people
telling me what to do.
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So you know I'm having a
look at all that kind of stuff,
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and then I have a
major meltdown of crises.
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And my whole intestines twist
and when your intestines twist
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you could die
within hour's right.
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So I go into
hospital they untwist it,
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you know and they literally
don't do it surgically,
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they put tubes down my throat,
take pressures off and untwist.
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They send me
home four days later
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I'm back in the hospital.
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And I'm like stop, shut
up, I don't even do this
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well, I don't do
pain well or anything.
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My oncologists
meet with my surgeon,
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they think you
know we did CT scans,
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I think you have
cancer in your intestines
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and I'm like
nope, I don't want that.
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So you know they talked to me
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and finally they
say you know what,
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we're gonna have to cut you open
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take that part of
your intestines out,
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its like four
inches or seven centimeters
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and hopefully you'll
end up-- with just those,
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tie your
intestines tied together
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or you'll end
up with a colostomy
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and all that kind of
stuff, and I'm like wait,
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wait somebody stop.
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I don't want that and I
remember just struggling
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and I have a gig in Australia,
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and I'm gonna go
there for a few weeks,
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I'm gonna fly back,
I only have three weeks
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that I can have down time
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so we got to get
that surgery done
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and I can be home
and do some healing and--
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so, I get back
from Australia on Friday
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go in for surgery on Monday.
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They cut me open, they
take all of my guts out,
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you just got to imagine this,
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because you know
when I imagine this
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I think no wait,
to call your guts out
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went to 22 feet of intestines
and it couldn't find anything.
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I can't find anything,
I can't find the cancer,
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I can't find anything,
they stuff everything back in.
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I'm hoping they put
it all in a right place
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sewed me back up.
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And so now I have to look out
at this point of my recovery,
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I have to know
that everything matters,
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even what I choose to eat,
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how I choose to
take care of my body,
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what I choose to do.
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What they diagnosed me
with was celiac disease,
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they said you
have celiac disease.
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You have to not eat
grain and you have to watch
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what you eat and
you have to watch
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and take care of
yourself in that way.
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If you don't the next time
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we come in will take
out some of your intestines.
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So I'm like, shut up.
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So what-- this
time we're gonna look at
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not so much just physically
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the changes
that we have to make.
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Like right now I have
to make major changes,
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because you know
what, I like my intestines.
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I didn't even
know they were there
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until this guy
pulled them all out.
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Now that
they're out, and back in
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I so have some respect for them.
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There's a guy at 3ABN I
lost since I had the surgery,
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I went from a
size 12 to a size 8,
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just by not eating grains,
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right cakes and breads
and all that kind of stuff.
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So I'm thinking I'm celebrating
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and he thinks they just
didn't put my intestines back in
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that was the way it changed,
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but you know so
now I'm realizing
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that everything matters.
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And so now I'm gonna tell
you a in a emotional sense
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what I mean by
everything matters.
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This story is not has--
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doesn't have a
happy ending like mine,
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because not only does my
story have a happy ending
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but for whatever
reason as I do with this issue
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that I have physically,
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as I do with this
issue with my intestines
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and the celiac disease,
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it takes the
inflammation down in my body
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and my oncologist says,
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more than likely your
cancers gonna go away.
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And I'm like shut
up, how fun is that.
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So not only if I
choose to take care of this,
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not only am I not gonna have
to do with losing intestines
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well, I'm not gonna
have to deal with cancer
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and chemotherapies and
all that kind of stuff.
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So in an emotional sense
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I want you to
transfer that over,
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I'm gonna give you
some stuff this time,
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that we're gonna look
at physically, emotionally
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and with your recovery issues
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that if you get it you're gonna
save yourself tons of stuff.
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I have a recovery
groups that I run,
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if you're ever in our area
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if you just come
want to stay at our place,
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people come and stay at our--
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at our ranch for
like a week at a time
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and deal with some issues.
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But anyhow we have
our recovery issues
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this woman this
girl gets is recovery
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and she is amazing.
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She has a meth addiction
and she has anger issues,
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and she was molested as a kid,
and you know everybody thought
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you know, she's
got all of this junk
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her whole life
she dealt with people
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calling her fat,
until she did meth.
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She did meth and
all of the sudden
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she was so cute
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and then she got
all kinds of good stuff,
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she couldn't stop.
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So she gets in
recovery and she's just dying
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because now she's dealing
with gaining weight again
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and all that crazy
stuff is coming back up.
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So she ends up
going to a doctor,
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and the doctor says that
they're willing to cut out like
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three forth of her stomach
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and that she'll
start to lose weight again.
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And I'm--, she
tells me about that.
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She is so excited,
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they're gonna
cut out my stomach,
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I'm gonna be thin, I
don't have to do meth
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and I'm like what?
00:07:09.35\00:07:11.23
So I'm gonna convince
you to cut out your stomach,
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because you know why
you are not doing meth,
00:07:14.20\00:07:16.24
but you're
eating your brains out.
00:07:16.27\00:07:18.27
You're using
food as a way to cope,
00:07:18.30\00:07:21.05
you are using food like volume,
00:07:21.08\00:07:22.57
you are losing--
using food like sex
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and if you cut out your stomach
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and you cant use food,
you're gonna kill someone.
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Do you know what I mean?
00:07:29.13\00:07:30.17
And I said that to her
and I said do you know what,
00:07:30.20\00:07:31.93
this is not minor stuff.
00:07:31.96\00:07:33.65
Our addictions are huge.
00:07:33.68\00:07:35.44
When we don't deal with
them in an appropriate way
00:07:35.47\00:07:38.00
by making those tiny
choices when we just say,
00:07:38.03\00:07:41.00
you know what just cut
it out, we're in trouble.
00:07:41.03\00:07:43.59
And I remember
thinking please don't do that.
00:07:43.62\00:07:46.56
You know I-- you
know, I know your struggles
00:07:46.59\00:07:50.09
and don't do that and of course,
00:07:50.12\00:07:53.23
you know that doctors
said it was okay, you know.
00:07:53.26\00:07:55.58
And please I don't
care who says its okay,
00:07:55.61\00:07:57.59
recovery is a
little steps at a time.
00:07:57.62\00:08:00.14
You can't just jump in
and get it all done at once.
00:08:00.17\00:08:03.15
If I could take a
pill and be normal,
00:08:03.18\00:08:05.55
I would take that,
because I'm still not normal.
00:08:05.58\00:08:07.45
You know what I mean?
00:08:07.48\00:08:08.51
So, I would so do
that, so anyhow she goes in
00:08:08.54\00:08:10.71
and she gets
her stomach cut out,
00:08:10.74\00:08:12.35
and she comes out
within a first three weeks,
00:08:12.38\00:08:14.51
she loses like 58
pounds she is stoked,
00:08:14.54\00:08:17.95
but she can eat three
ounces at a time, eat or drink.
00:08:17.98\00:08:22.36
She can't drink a
full glass of water.
00:08:22.39\00:08:24.02
So she is not hydrated,
00:08:24.05\00:08:25.56
she's not getting any nutrition,
00:08:25.59\00:08:27.37
she can't cope and
so she wants to put
00:08:27.40\00:08:29.93
something in her
face and she can't do it.
00:08:29.97\00:08:32.29
And she gets more
and more agitated.
00:08:32.32\00:08:34.23
At one point she blows up,
00:08:34.26\00:08:37.94
beats up her child,
breaks her collar bone
00:08:37.97\00:08:40.57
and she's hits herself
in the head and she is gone.
00:08:40.60\00:08:44.03
And I'm thinking
man, I loved her,
00:08:44.06\00:08:48.45
I miss her, that's so
tragic and it's tragic
00:08:48.48\00:08:52.82
because in any kind of recovery,
00:08:52.85\00:08:55.04
in any kind of
journey everything matters,
00:08:55.07\00:08:57.46
all the little stuff
00:08:57.49\00:08:58.79
and we can't jump
over the little stuff.
00:08:58.82\00:09:00.82
We can't do-- we
can't just go somewhere else
00:09:00.85\00:09:03.36
and say you know
what, I'm just gonna do this
00:09:03.39\00:09:05.12
and this is gonna be
good, we can't do that.
00:09:05.15\00:09:07.21
All of these things
matter and so this season,
00:09:07.24\00:09:10.04
we're gonna talk
about all of those things,
00:09:10.07\00:09:11.58
we're gonna talk about it
hopefully with something's
00:09:11.61\00:09:14.54
that will make you laugh,
00:09:14.57\00:09:18.57
but man, some of the
things are not funny.
00:09:18.60\00:09:20.80
Losing my friend, and this
girl early in her recovery,
00:09:20.83\00:09:25.85
watching this three
year old now try to survive
00:09:25.88\00:09:29.38
watching her mom
shoot herself is not fun.
00:09:29.41\00:09:32.83
You know, she's
gonna have to grow up
00:09:32.86\00:09:34.39
and try to deal
with those images
00:09:34.42\00:09:35.92
and all that kind of stuff.
00:09:35.95\00:09:37.30
But if can say to you, if
I can say to the next person
00:09:37.33\00:09:39.98
we work with and the
next person in recovery
00:09:40.01\00:09:42.54
is please, please, please
know that these little choices
00:09:42.57\00:09:46.99
that you're gonna do everyday
may not seem to be a big deal
00:09:47.02\00:09:50.24
but there are big deal.
00:09:50.27\00:09:51.31
We're gonna look at
just simple things right now
00:09:51.34\00:09:54.03
and I'm gonna look
at like seven things
00:09:54.06\00:09:55.64
that I want you to
think about on this program.
00:09:55.67\00:09:58.37
And one of the things is
get some sleep, get some sleep.
00:09:58.40\00:10:02.89
I don't know about you
00:10:02.92\00:10:04.20
but I love-- I
love to be on my--
00:10:04.23\00:10:07.44
the phone to my friends
or skyping them in Australia,
00:10:07.47\00:10:10.63
it's a middle of
the afternoon to them.
00:10:10.66\00:10:12.93
To me it's a 2
o'clock in the morning
00:10:12.96\00:10:14.37
but man, I'll stay
up and I'll hang out
00:10:14.40\00:10:16.14
and will talk or whatever.
00:10:16.17\00:10:17.27
I'll be on Facebook,
I'll be researching something,
00:10:17.30\00:10:20.34
I'll be doing worship,
00:10:20.37\00:10:21.64
in the whole time God is saying,
00:10:21.67\00:10:23.08
get to bed, get to bed
00:10:23.11\00:10:25.42
because if you don't
sleep you're gonna be crazy.
00:10:25.45\00:10:28.18
If you don't sleep
you're gonna be tired tomorrow.
00:10:28.21\00:10:30.30
If you don't sleep
you're gonna be agitated.
00:10:30.33\00:10:32.64
When your spouse or
friend comes in your place,
00:10:32.67\00:10:35.12
you're not gonna be
as kind as you need.
00:10:35.15\00:10:38.64
If you don't sleep
and you have an out to do
00:10:38.67\00:10:41.50
one of your
addictions more than likely
00:10:41.53\00:10:43.61
you're gonna lean
towards those addictions.
00:10:43.64\00:10:45.38
So I'm just saying the
first thing in your maintenance
00:10:45.41\00:10:49.04
is that you cannot not sleep,
00:10:49.07\00:10:51.77
you can't, it
has to be part of it.
00:10:51.80\00:10:54.69
Man, if somebody
that's truly a health nut
00:10:54.72\00:10:56.70
or my doctor that just
have my just guts in her hand,
00:10:56.73\00:11:00.14
my husband says I
spilled my guts to my surgeon.
00:11:00.17\00:11:03.24
But my doctor says
don't eat between meals,
00:11:03.27\00:11:05.91
you know really start
taking care of yourself
00:11:05.94\00:11:08.50
and what you put in your mouth.
00:11:08.53\00:11:09.71
If you have some food allergies,
00:11:09.74\00:11:11.13
if you're
diabetic don't eat a donut.
00:11:11.16\00:11:13.42
My grandmother is diabetic,
she died of her diabetes,
00:11:13.45\00:11:16.72
you know
literally is just you know,
00:11:16.75\00:11:19.68
her breakfast was vodka,
orange juice and a donut.
00:11:19.71\00:11:22.46
And If try to get
her to eat anything else
00:11:22.49\00:11:24.59
I would hear say to
people in the living room,
00:11:24.62\00:11:26.33
I never did like that, child.
00:11:26.36\00:11:28.38
You know what I
mean, because that's--
00:11:28.41\00:11:29.48
you know, that was her thing.
00:11:29.51\00:11:30.64
But if you're
diabetic, don't do that.
00:11:30.67\00:11:32.29
If you have
problems with being hyper,
00:11:32.32\00:11:35.60
you know check out what you eat.
00:11:35.63\00:11:37.85
And don't eat all day
long, eat a good breakfast,
00:11:37.88\00:11:42.72
I mean this is stupid
I sound like you're mom,
00:11:42.75\00:11:44.66
I'm sorry but I'm not your mom,
00:11:44.69\00:11:47.00
I'm just trying to
say that it all matters
00:11:47.03\00:11:49.26
and I promise
you, it all matters.
00:11:49.29\00:11:52.15
The maintenance of your weight,
00:11:52.18\00:11:55.69
like my friend she
was 100 pound overweight,
00:11:55.72\00:11:59.27
so she felt bad
and she felt depressed
00:11:59.30\00:12:02.52
and she felt like all
of that kind of stuff,
00:12:02.55\00:12:04.51
she felt like
she wanted to do meth
00:12:04.54\00:12:06.01
to get skinny all
that kind of stuff.
00:12:06.04\00:12:07.73
So start looking
at our weight issues.
00:12:07.76\00:12:09.84
Start looking at
all that kind of stuff.
00:12:09.87\00:12:11.37
The next one I
want to look at is,
00:12:11.40\00:12:13.93
you know regular
physical exercise.
00:12:13.96\00:12:16.16
Don't you hate this?
00:12:16.19\00:12:17.24
I do sound like
your mom, I'm so sorry,
00:12:17.27\00:12:20.14
but get out and let
the sun hit your skin.
00:12:20.17\00:12:22.58
Because you know
vitamin D helps our cell tone
00:12:22.61\00:12:25.45
and serotonin
levels go up in our brain
00:12:25.48\00:12:26.90
which makes us feel
good, and it's a big deal.
00:12:26.93\00:12:29.39
So get outside, take a
walk put your feet in the sand.
00:12:29.42\00:12:33.75
Well, they're finding
out with all the stuff
00:12:33.78\00:12:35.58
that we do in staying online,
00:12:35.61\00:12:37.07
all the junk that
we're doing online,
00:12:37.10\00:12:39.23
we're losing grey matter.
00:12:39.26\00:12:40.45
Our brains are shrinking
because we're not using them.
00:12:40.48\00:12:43.69
We're in
virtual worlds more than
00:12:43.72\00:12:45.35
that we're in a physical world.
00:12:45.38\00:12:46.84
So a part of recovery
is that you have to move.
00:12:46.87\00:12:50.00
Man, I love playing
golf, I like tennis,
00:12:50.03\00:12:52.28
I like skiing, I like bowling,
00:12:52.31\00:12:55.26
you know get out
and find something
00:12:55.29\00:12:56.89
that you like to do that will
take you physically somewhere
00:12:56.92\00:13:01.20
and I don't care what it is.
00:13:01.23\00:13:02.63
If you are overweight,
00:13:02.66\00:13:04.42
and I have friends that
are extremely overweight,
00:13:04.45\00:13:06.42
they can't do a lot
of physical activity.
00:13:06.45\00:13:08.65
Just move your feet in a chair.
00:13:08.68\00:13:11.27
Do you know what I'm saying?
00:13:11.30\00:13:12.33
Don't even stress yourself about
00:13:12.36\00:13:14.08
you know what I'm
not doing jumping jacks,
00:13:14.11\00:13:15.82
don't do jumping jacks
but just move your feet.
00:13:15.85\00:13:18.64
This is gonna--
some of my friends
00:13:18.67\00:13:20.18
will want to kick
me for this next one.
00:13:20.21\00:13:22.40
Stop smoking, you know if
you don't have your lungs,
00:13:22.43\00:13:25.51
you don't have anything.
00:13:25.54\00:13:26.76
And I-- I want to--
you know I don't know
00:13:26.79\00:13:31.00
if you're gonna write in
00:13:31.03\00:13:32.12
and get mad at
me for saying this,
00:13:32.15\00:13:33.35
but God's not
gonna walk away from you
00:13:33.38\00:13:35.08
because you have a cigarette
hanging out of your face.
00:13:35.11\00:13:37.75
But He does really want
your lungs to work properly
00:13:37.78\00:13:39.79
and your circulation
and all that kind of stuff,
00:13:39.82\00:13:41.72
so in your
maintenance part of recovery,
00:13:41.75\00:13:44.31
it matters that
you're circulation is okay
00:13:44.34\00:13:46.95
and it matter
that you can actually
00:13:46.98\00:13:49.34
start to get health that way.
00:13:49.37\00:13:50.58
So if you're
smoking, if you're-- you know
00:13:50.61\00:13:52.95
if you can drink a bottle
of tequila in one sitting,
00:13:52.98\00:13:55.76
you know check out
that kind of stuff.
00:13:55.79\00:13:57.83
And stop walking away from
those really unhealthy things.
00:13:57.86\00:14:01.40
So the next one, so
reduce the alcohol stuff.
00:14:01.43\00:14:04.81
You know some people
say absent is all together,
00:14:04.84\00:14:07.93
for me the only reason I
say absent is I'm not alcoholic,
00:14:07.96\00:14:10.73
alcohol was never my issue.
00:14:10.76\00:14:12.20
But if you give a
couple of glasses of wine,
00:14:12.23\00:14:14.65
I want some heroin.
00:14:14.68\00:14:16.21
So you know so I got
right to what my addictions are.
00:14:16.24\00:14:19.28
If you give a sex addict
a couple of glasses of wine
00:14:19.31\00:14:22.53
or help him smoke some weed
00:14:22.56\00:14:23.69
they're online on the internet
00:14:23.72\00:14:25.68
looking up some porn stuff.
00:14:25.71\00:14:27.11
So those kind of things
will really trip you up.
00:14:27.14\00:14:30.34
So please don't write
me if there's other issues
00:14:30.37\00:14:33.27
and you just want to
talk about health some,
00:14:33.30\00:14:35.06
I'm talking about
to maintain, recovery,
00:14:35.09\00:14:37.80
you have to watch
those kind of things.
00:14:37.83\00:14:39.68
So these
objectives, these things
00:14:39.71\00:14:41.45
that I'm looking at
it just ways to help you
00:14:41.48\00:14:44.74
that are really
kind of simple things,
00:14:44.77\00:14:47.26
they sound simple
00:14:47.29\00:14:48.32
but they'll make
your recovery possible.
00:14:48.35\00:14:50.74
Don't look for shortcuts.
00:14:50.77\00:14:52.64
If you look for
shortcuts they will kill you
00:14:52.67\00:14:54.60
because they really don't work.
00:14:54.63\00:14:56.15
Somebody will say
just take this pill
00:14:56.18\00:14:57.60
and you'll lose weight,
00:14:57.63\00:14:58.66
just do this and
you'll feel better,
00:14:58.69\00:15:00.93
whatever but those
shortcuts will kill you.
00:15:00.96\00:15:03.24
And-- so this season
we're gonna talk about
00:15:03.27\00:15:06.51
some of that kind of stuff.
00:15:06.54\00:15:07.77
The first program that we're
gonna look at this program,
00:15:07.80\00:15:10.21
I'm gonna introduce
you to a friend of mine,
00:15:10.24\00:15:11.90
he is so twisted.
00:15:11.93\00:15:12.96
Well, I should
say he was so twisted.
00:15:12.99\00:15:15.60
But I'm gonna introduce
you to a friend of mine,
00:15:15.63\00:15:17.57
we're gonna talk
about his journey
00:15:17.60\00:15:19.22
and where he came from,
00:15:19.25\00:15:20.44
but we're gonna look at
on this program specifically
00:15:20.47\00:15:23.63
that choice that
you make everyday.
00:15:23.66\00:15:25.87
Because the choices
will either lead you
00:15:25.90\00:15:28.14
to a life of
recovery and happiness,
00:15:28.17\00:15:31.08
you'll laugh out
loud in your own skin,
00:15:31.11\00:15:33.22
you'll actually start to be
able to got hold of your life
00:15:33.25\00:15:37.91
and enjoy your life or
it will lead you to death.
00:15:37.94\00:15:41.57
You'll have, you
know, most of the people
00:15:41.60\00:15:43.72
in my family
died of liver disease
00:15:43.75\00:15:45.47
and alcoholism
and drug addictions.
00:15:45.50\00:15:47.25
My dad died molesting
kids in the crack house.
00:15:47.28\00:15:49.63
So I mean, you know,
all of that kind of stuff
00:15:49.66\00:15:51.49
and so it's gonna lead
you one way or the other
00:15:51.52\00:15:53.43
but every choice
put you on a journey.
00:15:53.46\00:15:56.16
And so be careful of
the choices that you make.
00:15:56.19\00:15:58.35
Don't stress about them
00:15:58.38\00:15:59.76
but just know
that it does matter
00:15:59.79\00:16:02.06
and I wish for you life, okay.
00:16:02.09\00:16:05.42
So come back, I'm gonna
introduce you to a friend,
00:16:05.45\00:16:07.79
you're not gonna
want to miss his story,
00:16:07.82\00:16:09.11
this is wild.
00:16:09.14\00:16:10.17