The following program
discusses sensitive issues
00:00:01.06\00:00:03.36
related to addictive behavior.
00:00:03.39\00:00:04.96
Parents are
cautioned that some material
00:00:04.99\00:00:06.81
may be too candid
for younger children.
00:00:06.84\00:00:08.88
Welcome back again.
00:00:17.16\00:00:18.45
The book for the
season is a "Celebration."
00:00:18.48\00:00:20.90
And it's really
interesting, C.A.,
00:00:20.93\00:00:22.59
because I don't know--
00:00:22.62\00:00:23.85
I am such an addict in recovery.
00:00:23.88\00:00:25.53
I really don't
do anything normal,
00:00:25.56\00:00:28.05
you know, I'm
finally growing up some,
00:00:28.08\00:00:30.16
you know, all of
those kinds of things
00:00:30.19\00:00:31.37
but I feel like I
am somebody's momma,
00:00:31.40\00:00:32.86
trying to teach the stuff.
00:00:32.89\00:00:34.25
But it's really good stuff.
00:00:34.28\00:00:35.84
So I am going to tell you
acronym for CELEBRATIONS is--
00:00:35.87\00:00:39.43
every letter means something.
00:00:39.46\00:00:41.29
So C is for
choices, E is for exercise,
00:00:41.32\00:00:44.88
L liquids, then
Environment, Believe, Rest, Air.
00:00:44.91\00:00:49.41
And we talk about air
like I try to figure out
00:00:49.44\00:00:52.09
it's not just you know,
00:00:52.12\00:00:54.03
that you know, like environment.
00:00:54.06\00:00:55.22
It's not that
you just want to have
00:00:55.25\00:00:56.36
a nice environment
and go out to a nice lake.
00:00:56.39\00:00:58.75
You want to have a nice
environment in your head.
00:00:58.78\00:01:00.26
Yeah.
00:01:00.29\00:01:01.32
You know that craziness
in your head or in your soul,
00:01:01.35\00:01:03.98
that guilt and shame
00:01:04.01\00:01:05.51
you want to clean that stuff up.
00:01:05.54\00:01:07.11
And so air the same way
00:01:07.14\00:01:08.43
as that you want
to be able to say,
00:01:08.46\00:01:09.69
I want to be able to breathe
and I wanted to fill my lungs
00:01:09.72\00:01:13.28
and be able to move nutrients
or whatever through my body.
00:01:13.31\00:01:16.17
But I want to
emotionally breathe too.
00:01:16.20\00:01:18.06
You know when we
are in depression
00:01:18.09\00:01:20.08
our breath is shallow
and all that kind of stuff.
00:01:20.11\00:01:22.35
So we're teaching
it on different levels.
00:01:22.38\00:01:24.36
After air is T for temperance.
00:01:24.39\00:01:27.16
Who know what that means.
00:01:27.19\00:01:28.75
Temperance is that we are
00:01:28.78\00:01:30.84
you know, everything
is kind of imbalance.
00:01:30.87\00:01:33.06
You know, we have
to balance to our live.
00:01:33.09\00:01:35.05
O is for
optimism, that you know,
00:01:35.08\00:01:36.91
hope does restore your bone.
00:01:36.94\00:01:39.14
I mean its
like-- What about the I?
00:01:39.17\00:01:40.49
Oh, I is for integrity.
00:01:40.52\00:01:42.78
There you go. Wow.
00:01:42.81\00:01:44.11
Well, you know,
integrity is tough one.
00:01:44.14\00:01:46.34
It's who are you really? Yeah.
00:01:46.37\00:01:48.02
You know, you're the same,
00:01:48.05\00:01:49.87
you know, in your home
as you are on the outside.
00:01:49.90\00:01:51.93
And so it's just
like, who are you really?
00:01:51.96\00:01:53.58
And if that
matters, work on that.
00:01:53.61\00:01:55.57
You know just be able to
do that with your recovery.
00:01:55.60\00:01:57.77
Again, you will never recover
00:01:57.80\00:01:59.84
if you don't get
some of this stuff down
00:01:59.87\00:02:01.78
because you'll hold down
to your journey for a while
00:02:01.81\00:02:05.18
but then you just relapse
00:02:05.21\00:02:06.36
because this stuff
has to become real.
00:02:06.39\00:02:08.38
So optimism, nutrition is
a big thing, social support.
00:02:08.41\00:02:11.94
I need to have
friends, I need to know how--
00:02:11.97\00:02:14.64
if I don't know how to do it,
00:02:14.67\00:02:15.70
I have attachment
disorders and bonding disorders
00:02:15.73\00:02:18.18
and all that kind of stuff,
I am socially underdeveloped.
00:02:18.21\00:02:21.04
But what God said
to me almost right away
00:02:21.07\00:02:23.54
is learn to let people in,
learn to let people love you
00:02:23.57\00:02:27.21
and learn to love other people.
00:02:27.24\00:02:28.59
And in that there's
healing that happens.
00:02:28.62\00:02:31.15
If I know you
and I am in trouble
00:02:31.18\00:02:33.31
and you're my friend
then you can stop and say,
00:02:33.34\00:02:35.35
hey, Cheri, I
think you are in trouble.
00:02:35.38\00:02:36.96
And the Bible talks
about if one man falls
00:02:36.99\00:02:39.44
and you have friends around you
00:02:39.47\00:02:40.99
they are gonna
help you back up again.
00:02:41.02\00:02:42.06
Yes. Yes. Yes.
00:02:42.09\00:02:43.14
So social support is important.
So all of those things work.
00:02:43.17\00:02:46.40
I am thinking on the converse,
I guess it means sometimes
00:02:46.43\00:02:49.86
that if you've got
some toxic relationship
00:02:49.89\00:02:51.61
you got to
jettison those things,
00:02:51.64\00:02:52.90
you kind of let them go.
00:02:52.93\00:02:53.96
Yeah. Yeah.
00:02:53.99\00:02:55.33
And it's really tough, you know,
00:02:55.36\00:02:57.83
when I came off the streets
00:02:57.86\00:02:59.14
the one guy that I
was with most of my life
00:02:59.17\00:03:01.50
was a guy name Tommy.
00:03:01.53\00:03:02.58
And I would say, in
my life I loved him.
00:03:02.61\00:03:05.00
I had been with him forever.
00:03:05.03\00:03:06.62
And he didn't get off drugs
and I left and went to school
00:03:06.65\00:03:10.30
and decide to find God,
00:03:10.33\00:03:11.64
and one day he shows
up in my mom's house.
00:03:11.67\00:03:13.79
And he shows up
and he's so high,
00:03:13.82\00:03:16.24
can't even hardly see in.
00:03:16.27\00:03:17.73
He looks at me
and he says, Cheri,
00:03:17.76\00:03:19.04
I can't do this without you,
you have to come back to me.
00:03:19.07\00:03:22.34
And I hear God
say, walk in the house,
00:03:22.37\00:03:24.90
just walk in the house.
00:03:24.93\00:03:26.11
And I wanted-- more
than I wanted to breathe
00:03:26.14\00:03:28.75
to walk right up to
him and live with him.
00:03:28.78\00:03:30.88
And I knew that I would
die with him if I did that,
00:03:30.91\00:03:33.26
and God says, you go in
the house and shut the door.
00:03:33.29\00:03:35.55
And I turned around
to walk to the house
00:03:35.58\00:03:37.27
and I told him, I
can not stay out here
00:03:37.30\00:03:39.66
and you know what,
I have to do recovery,
00:03:39.69\00:03:43.31
I can't come back.
00:03:43.34\00:03:44.47
And I turned around and he said,
00:03:44.50\00:03:45.55
would you at least hold me?
00:03:45.58\00:03:47.71
And God said, if you hold
him, you will die with him.
00:03:47.74\00:03:51.14
And I said, I cannot.
00:03:51.17\00:03:52.25
And I walked in the house
00:03:52.28\00:03:53.31
and my legs
collapse underneath me
00:03:53.34\00:03:55.67
and I fell on the ground
00:03:55.70\00:03:56.73
and I just wept
and wept and wept.
00:03:56.76\00:03:58.57
So in those social things
00:03:58.60\00:03:59.97
that you learn to
take care of yourself with,
00:04:00.00\00:04:01.94
is some of them is gonna
be so hard to walk away from
00:04:01.97\00:04:05.45
but you gonna have to.
00:04:05.48\00:04:06.74
And then when you
grab hold of somebody,
00:04:06.77\00:04:08.47
grab hold of people
00:04:08.50\00:04:09.53
that are
fighting for the recovery,
00:04:09.56\00:04:10.93
fighting for the
relationship with God
00:04:10.96\00:04:12.60
and doing the
right thing, its you.
00:04:12.63\00:04:15.11
Absolutely it's you.
Yeah, that is powerful.
00:04:15.14\00:04:17.07
And not to believe is
from what at this point
00:04:17.10\00:04:19.92
I think optimism
comes into the realization
00:04:19.95\00:04:22.41
that okay, its dark now
00:04:22.44\00:04:23.50
but it's not
gonna be dark always.
00:04:23.53\00:04:24.66
Amen.
00:04:24.69\00:04:25.73
You know you got to
try to find some sunshine
00:04:25.76\00:04:28.50
and gravitate towards that.
00:04:28.53\00:04:30.09
I had to look at you know,
00:04:30.12\00:04:31.47
I had to look
at God saying that,
00:04:31.50\00:04:33.66
you let me show you who you are
00:04:33.69\00:04:34.96
the day after resurrection.
00:04:34.99\00:04:36.85
But you know,
sometimes the only thing
00:04:36.88\00:04:38.63
I can hold on is the
day after resurrection.
00:04:38.66\00:04:40.68
I am not an addict in recovery,
00:04:40.71\00:04:42.48
the day after resurrection
00:04:42.51\00:04:43.75
I am not unwanted
child, an abused child.
00:04:43.78\00:04:46.00
The day after resurrection
00:04:46.03\00:04:47.43
I am an incredible child of God,
00:04:47.46\00:04:49.67
innocent and beautiful
beyond what I can imagine.
00:04:49.70\00:04:53.04
And sometimes
that's all I can hold on to
00:04:53.07\00:04:54.83
but I hold on to that
with everything in me.
00:04:54.86\00:04:57.50
But then because of my life
00:04:57.53\00:04:58.87
and my friendships are healthier
00:04:58.90\00:05:01.96
I can just laugh
out loud with people
00:05:01.99\00:05:03.71
that I have in my life.
00:05:03.74\00:05:05.06
I have cool folks in my life.
00:05:05.09\00:05:06.80
I mean, I think you are awesome.
00:05:06.83\00:05:08.55
You know, our momma is awesome.
00:05:08.58\00:05:10.61
You know, we have just
incredible folks around us.
00:05:10.64\00:05:12.77
So now we're gonna go into talk
00:05:12.80\00:05:14.40
about folks around us.
00:05:14.43\00:05:15.47
Yes. Yes. You know.
00:05:15.50\00:05:17.44
I interviewed a friend of yours.
00:05:17.47\00:05:20.03
Yeah, a friend and a co-worker.
00:05:20.06\00:05:21.73
Someone I have
known a long time,
00:05:21.76\00:05:23.01
been at his home,
eaten at his table,
00:05:23.04\00:05:25.14
know him well on a certain level
00:05:25.17\00:05:27.02
but found out a little bit more.
00:05:27.05\00:05:29.07
And of course, you know,
00:05:29.10\00:05:30.87
we use the term, man up.
00:05:30.90\00:05:32.68
You know, we use that terms
00:05:32.71\00:05:34.13
sort of pilots for the day.
00:05:34.16\00:05:36.18
He did so because he
bought some dark stuff out.
00:05:36.21\00:05:38.92
And you worked with and
talked with Ralph Sanchez
00:05:38.95\00:05:42.19
and it was really a
powerful, powerful program.
00:05:42.22\00:05:43.76
Who is
incredible about you know,
00:05:43.79\00:05:46.62
we're gonna look at a
roll and we're going to use--
00:05:46.65\00:05:48.61
look at Ralph talking about
00:05:48.64\00:05:50.16
he was a perpetrator
with domestic violence.
00:05:50.19\00:05:53.66
And but you know, what I--
00:05:53.69\00:05:54.72
I hope people dwell with
that is he watched his dad
00:05:54.75\00:05:58.69
beating his mom his
whole life growing up.
00:05:58.72\00:06:01.15
I mean, that's what he learned
00:06:01.18\00:06:03.00
and really just said,
I don't want to be that.
00:06:03.03\00:06:06.39
And yet he became everything
that he didn't want to be.
00:06:06.42\00:06:08.82
And we're gonna look at Tracy,
00:06:08.85\00:06:11.01
a friend of mine
goes to the same church
00:06:11.04\00:06:12.69
and Tracy was just crazy, crazy.
00:06:12.72\00:06:16.14
Strung out on meths, staying
up for days, party demons
00:06:16.17\00:06:20.59
and literally coming in
by watching 3ABN, you know.
00:06:20.62\00:06:24.52
Found 3ABN, found
Celebrating Life in Recovery
00:06:24.55\00:06:27.26
and the only thing
that helped him to stay sane
00:06:27.29\00:06:30.43
during his journey back to God
00:06:30.46\00:06:32.54
was the fact that he could
turn the television on and loud,
00:06:32.57\00:06:36.03
listen to somebody
speaking the Word of God
00:06:36.06\00:06:39.03
and it really bought
him back into recovery.
00:06:39.06\00:06:40.78
Powerful.
00:06:40.81\00:06:41.85
Wayne Blakley coming
out of the gay culture
00:06:41.88\00:06:45.05
and trying to
figure out who he is.
00:06:45.08\00:06:47.42
Who he is and is it--
00:06:47.45\00:06:48.84
I hate when people
talk about coming out
00:06:48.87\00:06:50.77
of homosexuality or whatever
00:06:50.80\00:06:52.81
because I want to
just say, shut up,
00:06:52.84\00:06:54.40
do you think
that's all it was about?
00:06:54.43\00:06:56.42
And even with
Wayne it's so clear,
00:06:56.45\00:06:59.07
his dad wasn't around,
00:06:59.10\00:07:00.48
he wanted a male to
love him his whole life,
00:07:00.51\00:07:03.32
he wanted a dad to hold to.
00:07:03.35\00:07:04.63
He never had that
and had an abusive mom.
00:07:04.66\00:07:07.44
And his story was amazing.
00:07:07.47\00:07:08.78
So I want you to watch this.
00:07:08.81\00:07:10.11
And again, this was
an incredible season.
00:07:10.14\00:07:12.61
I remember one time
that we were into it
00:07:15.30\00:07:20.60
and my wife at that
time-- she's no longer my wife.
00:07:20.63\00:07:23.95
My wife at that
time wasn't my mom.
00:07:23.98\00:07:28.43
Yeah, she was
not an enabler person
00:07:28.46\00:07:30.63
or maybe she was but
not in the same way my mom--
00:07:30.66\00:07:32.47
She was going
to stand up to you.
00:07:32.50\00:07:33.57
Yeah.
00:07:33.60\00:07:34.63
She's isn't gonna
take any old thing
00:07:34.66\00:07:36.14
that comes from
me or anybody else
00:07:36.17\00:07:39.56
which in a long way I
think is a good thing.
00:07:39.59\00:07:41.86
But at the
moment in those moments
00:07:41.89\00:07:43.85
it was fuel to a fire.
00:07:43.88\00:07:46.17
One time I ran into the
bathroom during this thing
00:07:46.20\00:07:48.86
and pushed her so hard,
00:07:48.89\00:07:50.81
she was standing
in front of sink.
00:07:50.84\00:07:52.26
She flew across the
bathroom and into the tub.
00:07:52.29\00:07:55.32
I think that was
probably the second
00:07:55.35\00:07:56.82
or third time
that, that happened.
00:07:56.85\00:07:59.02
And immediately after
she landed in the tub,
00:07:59.05\00:08:01.16
the way she landed
she was all contorted
00:08:01.19\00:08:04.34
and I stopped
and I looked at her.
00:08:04.37\00:08:05.96
And for the first
time I became aware
00:08:05.99\00:08:09.13
of just how lucky I would be
00:08:09.16\00:08:12.57
if she haven't broken her neck.
00:08:12.60\00:08:14.91
Driving a car, driving to
town and I'm just acting insane.
00:08:14.94\00:08:18.46
There's static
all around my body,
00:08:18.49\00:08:20.41
I feel like something
clinching in around my throat.
00:08:20.44\00:08:23.68
And I am wonder, how
much power do they have?
00:08:23.71\00:08:25.52
Can they choke me up?
00:08:25.55\00:08:26.58
And my fear was that
they were working for,
00:08:26.61\00:08:29.83
they wanted me to deathly
afraid of them and they won.
00:08:29.86\00:08:32.38
As soon as I am
afraid they are winning
00:08:32.41\00:08:33.69
because I am not
thinking about God,
00:08:33.72\00:08:34.92
I am thinking
about fear and them and--
00:08:34.95\00:08:37.95
I tried to wash
the static off my car,
00:08:37.98\00:08:39.96
I tried to throw
the floor mat out
00:08:39.99\00:08:41.95
because I could
feel it was super heavy.
00:08:41.98\00:08:43.49
I knew the demons
were on this and that,
00:08:43.52\00:08:44.99
and it just made me look insane.
00:08:45.02\00:08:46.86
And I passed
four police officers
00:08:46.89\00:08:48.58
on my short
driving into town and back,
00:08:48.61\00:08:50.04
I realize the
devil setting me up
00:08:50.07\00:08:51.94
for a really dumb fall
here, I am gonna go jail for...
00:08:51.97\00:08:54.83
So I come back
home and the shadows--
00:08:54.86\00:08:56.80
as I pull up
underneath streetlights
00:08:56.83\00:08:58.18
they are getting dim and dark
00:08:58.21\00:08:59.57
and as I turn my head
00:08:59.60\00:09:00.68
the shadows are
moving slowly behind.
00:09:00.71\00:09:02.29
They are not behaving normally
and they are taunting me
00:09:02.32\00:09:06.06
and I'm just you know, panic.
00:09:06.09\00:09:07.55
And so I think I
got to call someone
00:09:07.58\00:09:08.92
or call the
pastor or call my mom.
00:09:08.95\00:09:10.30
I called my mom,
that's who I call.
00:09:10.33\00:09:12.00
And I called her and I said,
00:09:12.03\00:09:13.49
mom, I am under attack
by the devil, pray for me.
00:09:13.52\00:09:15.49
And she just started
praying so powerfully
00:09:15.52\00:09:17.10
and I just
started crying, you know,
00:09:17.13\00:09:18.31
because now I had an
accountability partner.
00:09:18.34\00:09:20.60
Now I can repent to God
because mom's asking for me
00:09:20.63\00:09:23.45
and it meant
something this time.
00:09:23.48\00:09:25.04
I wasn't so much a person
00:09:25.07\00:09:26.66
who could have
been a gay activist
00:09:26.69\00:09:28.48
but I told my
parents when I came back
00:09:28.51\00:09:30.22
I can be an
activist for Jesus Christ
00:09:30.25\00:09:32.18
and if that means that
I loose my life that way
00:09:32.21\00:09:35.09
I couldn't think
of a better way to go.
00:09:35.12\00:09:36.89
Amen.
00:09:36.92\00:09:37.99
And you know, that--
00:09:38.02\00:09:39.05
what an incredible
saying this as you know,
00:09:39.08\00:09:40.79
what I am so
passionate about this
00:09:40.82\00:09:42.32
and who God is and vindicating
His name in this issue
00:09:42.35\00:09:46.44
that I can't
shut up, I can't stop.
00:09:46.47\00:09:49.36
But here's the caviar to that,
I hope this doesn't happen.
00:09:49.39\00:09:53.57
But I like to put this out there
00:09:53.60\00:09:55.19
for people to think about today.
00:09:55.22\00:09:56.86
Don't put me-- this is
not about Wayne Blakley,
00:09:56.89\00:09:59.44
this is about Jesus Christ.
00:09:59.47\00:10:01.29
And Wayne
Blakley is still human,
00:10:01.32\00:10:03.74
he's still
fleshly, he's still tempted.
00:10:03.77\00:10:06.30
What if I had a fall?
00:10:06.33\00:10:08.32
Are you gonna run from
me or you gonna run to me?
00:10:08.35\00:10:10.90
Run to help. Yeah.
00:10:10.93\00:10:13.88
Powerful, powerful.
00:10:16.25\00:10:18.50
And so contemporary and so now
00:10:18.53\00:10:21.73
and so wired world
is and so what is needed
00:10:21.76\00:10:25.15
by society around
us and in the church.
00:10:25.18\00:10:27.16
You got people who
on their knees praying
00:10:27.19\00:10:28.82
and then getting up and
doing some really dark stuff
00:10:28.85\00:10:30.78
because Christ never got
through him and gotten in.
00:10:30.81\00:10:34.92
So we see that
against other's hope
00:10:34.95\00:10:37.34
because if they can get
heal, hey, I can get heal too.
00:10:37.37\00:10:40.00
You know, and we-- and you know
00:10:40.03\00:10:41.28
that we get those
emails all the time.
00:10:41.31\00:10:42.88
We get I think
people saying you know what,
00:10:42.91\00:10:45.94
I was exactly right there
and heard you guys speak that.
00:10:45.97\00:10:49.48
And so somebody says,
why do we do this program?
00:10:49.51\00:10:51.96
Why do we these shows? Why
do we do these testimonies?
00:10:51.99\00:10:55.02
Are you kidding me?
00:10:55.05\00:10:56.14
Everywhere I go
there are these wounds
00:10:56.17\00:10:59.32
and the only thing
that's gonna get us out of that
00:10:59.35\00:11:01.38
is if we start
saying to each other,
00:11:01.41\00:11:02.93
you know what, I've been there.
00:11:02.96\00:11:04.34
And this is what
God did in my life
00:11:04.37\00:11:05.99
or this is where
I am at right now.
00:11:06.02\00:11:07.40
And if we keep
saying that out loud
00:11:07.43\00:11:09.12
then the world gets a message
00:11:09.15\00:11:10.18
that God is still doing miracles
00:11:10.21\00:11:11.50
and so is able to bring
you out of those things.
00:11:11.53\00:11:13.36
You know, it's here, Cheri.
00:11:13.39\00:11:14.73
In my first church
I pastored a fellow,
00:11:14.76\00:11:16.98
big guy, 6'5",
200 something pounds,
00:11:17.01\00:11:19.96
have this very thin, simple wife
00:11:19.99\00:11:21.85
who was uneducated
when he married her.
00:11:21.88\00:11:23.44
He brought her to the States,
00:11:23.47\00:11:24.50
she went to school
got her BS in nursing
00:11:24.53\00:11:26.91
and got her Masters in nursing
00:11:26.94\00:11:27.97
became a nurse
practitioner, sharp.
00:11:28.00\00:11:31.03
So she wasn't
the woman he married,
00:11:31.06\00:11:33.80
he married a servant.
00:11:33.83\00:11:34.90
He married
somebody cook his food,
00:11:34.93\00:11:36.36
clean his clothes.
00:11:36.39\00:11:37.42
Now he's got a
nurse practitioner
00:11:37.45\00:11:40.03
who's a sharp mind, much--
00:11:40.06\00:11:41.27
when he's thinking about
it she's already said it.
00:11:41.30\00:11:43.65
So he resorts to violence,
00:11:43.68\00:11:45.43
he's wrapping her
in the phone chord
00:11:45.46\00:11:47.13
and beating her
with the plastic receiver
00:11:47.16\00:11:48.45
and all that kind of stuff.
00:11:48.48\00:11:49.52
And as a young pastor I
simply was not equipped,
00:11:49.55\00:11:51.66
I didn't know.
00:11:51.69\00:11:52.73
And her dad was saying,
well, this is your cross,
00:11:52.76\00:11:54.15
you got to stay there
00:11:54.18\00:11:55.21
and take that,
that kind of thing.
00:11:55.24\00:11:56.27
And you know you get
all this kind of stuff.
00:11:56.30\00:11:57.81
So there are people
out there in churches
00:11:57.84\00:12:00.63
who are dealing with this stuff
00:12:00.66\00:12:02.31
and don't have
answers as just-out-of-school
00:12:02.34\00:12:05.69
freshman pastor I didn't--
I didn't have the skills.
00:12:05.72\00:12:09.37
So this is very
necessary and very powerful
00:12:09.40\00:12:11.69
and very important to
what's going on today.
00:12:11.72\00:12:13.51
Amen. Yeah.
00:12:13.54\00:12:14.57
And you know when
we do that the skills
00:12:14.60\00:12:16.53
we are good at it.
00:12:16.56\00:12:17.97
We are good at loving each other
00:12:18.00\00:12:19.36
when we know what to say
00:12:19.39\00:12:20.73
because we want to
say the right thing
00:12:20.76\00:12:22.10
and we want to
do the right thing.
00:12:22.13\00:12:23.97
You know, we talked about
00:12:24.00\00:12:26.92
all the different
folks in this program
00:12:26.95\00:12:28.61
and I want to go over again
00:12:28.64\00:12:30.16
that we're doing
a health message,
00:12:30.19\00:12:31.53
we're looking at it
from a health perspective
00:12:31.56\00:12:33.66
because there are
stages in recovery.
00:12:33.69\00:12:36.54
And we've talked about
that before in the program,
00:12:36.57\00:12:38.59
there's you know,
there's this stage of coming in
00:12:38.62\00:12:40.99
and just seeing you
as you are looking at it
00:12:41.02\00:12:43.53
and trying to bargain with God.
00:12:43.56\00:12:45.30
You know what, if you
get me out of this one,
00:12:45.33\00:12:47.00
I'll never do it
again or whatever.
00:12:47.03\00:12:48.68
So there's initial one,
if you get me out of this one
00:12:48.71\00:12:51.11
I'll take care of my liver,
00:12:51.14\00:12:52.33
if you find another liver for me
00:12:52.36\00:12:54.12
I'll be good, I won't drink.
00:12:54.15\00:12:55.53
But we do that
whole bargaining thing
00:12:55.56\00:12:57.04
and then we step out and
we try to educate ourselves
00:12:57.07\00:12:59.83
on the addiction and I'm what--
00:12:59.86\00:13:01.58
what has to our body
and what's happen to us
00:13:01.61\00:13:03.95
so with our disconnect.
00:13:03.98\00:13:05.33
And then the next stage
is that I may make comments
00:13:05.36\00:13:07.85
with the people around at me.
00:13:07.88\00:13:09.48
I may call up and
say, you know what,
00:13:09.51\00:13:11.43
I am sorry that I
ripped your car off, you know,
00:13:11.46\00:13:13.62
I am sorry that I slept
with your wife or whatever,
00:13:13.65\00:13:15.93
I'm sorry about
all that kind of stuff.
00:13:15.96\00:13:17.81
We do that on the
stage and make it immense.
00:13:17.84\00:13:20.33
The next stage is
we start to look out
00:13:20.36\00:13:22.42
maybe how our
past has influenced us,
00:13:22.45\00:13:26.29
maybe what I
learned, like Ralph Sanchez,
00:13:26.32\00:13:28.47
when he watched
his dad beat his mom.
00:13:28.50\00:13:30.13
I learned some
pretty twisted things
00:13:30.16\00:13:32.10
and so I start to look at that.
00:13:32.13\00:13:33.62
And in the final
stage, the maintenance stage
00:13:33.65\00:13:36.34
is I start to take care
for myself in establish,
00:13:36.37\00:13:39.74
a life worth celebrating,
a life worth living.
00:13:39.77\00:13:42.86
And so maintenance part of that,
00:13:42.89\00:13:44.59
all of the part of
recovery is important
00:13:44.62\00:13:47.04
but we forget
that last part of it,
00:13:47.07\00:13:49.04
it say-- And
that is simple stuff,
00:13:49.07\00:13:51.14
exercising, eating
right, doing the things
00:13:51.17\00:13:53.13
that we're talking about
on this program, drink water.
00:13:53.16\00:13:56.00
Do you know most of time
00:13:56.03\00:13:57.08
if you see me
drinking anything it's water,
00:13:57.11\00:13:59.04
I don't drink sodas, juices,
any of that kind of stuff
00:13:59.07\00:14:02.43
because I really found out
00:14:02.46\00:14:04.09
that if I am
thirsty I can drink water
00:14:04.12\00:14:06.95
and it's not only gonna heal me
00:14:06.98\00:14:09.37
but it's gonna
help me to think better,
00:14:09.40\00:14:11.87
my body to function better,
all those kind of things.
00:14:11.90\00:14:14.47
And so maintenance
part of our recovery
00:14:14.50\00:14:16.40
is to do the right thing.
00:14:16.43\00:14:18.60
Take piano
lessons, take out lessons,
00:14:18.63\00:14:21.29
learn how to play
golf, hit a bicycle,
00:14:21.32\00:14:23.48
I mean, all of
that kind of stuff.
00:14:23.51\00:14:25.07
And so this is the time
00:14:25.10\00:14:26.20
when I am done
looking at all that stuff,
00:14:26.23\00:14:28.40
I am starting to now
look at what do I want.
00:14:28.43\00:14:30.82
The integrity
issue came on, you know.
00:14:30.85\00:14:33.29
Yeah. Who am I really?
00:14:33.32\00:14:34.52
And if I am not that really,
00:14:34.55\00:14:36.37
what steps do I take in
order to be that, you know.
00:14:36.40\00:14:40.86
If you not-- and
who are you fooling?
00:14:40.89\00:14:42.23
You know, the Lord knows
and you know in your heart
00:14:42.26\00:14:43.91
so why even waste the energy,
00:14:43.94\00:14:46.24
consume that you
playing that game?
00:14:46.27\00:14:48.07
Just get real and get clean.
00:14:48.10\00:14:50.27
Is it harder to get clean
00:14:50.30\00:14:53.29
or once having
gotten clean, to stay clean?
00:14:53.32\00:14:57.04
It's a good question.
00:14:57.07\00:14:58.32
But you know they say
that-- and somebody says,
00:14:58.35\00:15:00.96
what do I do so I don't relapse?
00:15:00.99\00:15:03.25
And the answer to that
is do absolutely nothing
00:15:03.28\00:15:05.96
and your pain will
takeover and you will relapse.
00:15:05.99\00:15:09.62
Your dysfunction will takeover
if you do absolutely nothing.
00:15:09.65\00:15:13.41
And so the main it
says, is that the next step
00:15:13.44\00:15:16.95
if I am going to hold on to this
00:15:16.98\00:15:18.81
I have to learn to live
my life in a healthier way.
00:15:18.84\00:15:22.32
And most of us
don't know how to do that.
00:15:22.35\00:15:24.43
So it is harder to do that.
00:15:24.46\00:15:26.14
But in a sense it's
so much more rewarding
00:15:26.17\00:15:28.89
because I all the
sudden sit up straighter,
00:15:28.92\00:15:31.49
my relationships are more real.
00:15:31.52\00:15:33.36
When I laugh I hear myself
00:15:33.39\00:15:35.00
and it shocks me that
it's so cool, it's so real.
00:15:35.03\00:15:38.16
And so that's the
part of maintenance
00:15:38.19\00:15:39.69
that is worth fighting for
is everybody wants a real life.
00:15:39.72\00:15:42.80
We all want to be normal,
00:15:42.83\00:15:44.14
we all want to have
happiness or whatever.
00:15:44.17\00:15:46.20
Yeah.
00:15:46.23\00:15:47.27
What if this is way to get that?
00:15:47.30\00:15:50.47
It's huge. Yeah.
00:15:50.50\00:15:51.77
You can get used to misery
00:15:51.80\00:15:53.38
just because
it's the known for you
00:15:53.41\00:15:55.01
because you did it for so long
00:15:55.04\00:15:56.44
but nobody
wants to be miserable.
00:15:56.47\00:15:58.20
Absolutely.
00:15:58.23\00:15:59.28
They want to be
clean, they want to be happy.
00:15:59.31\00:16:01.78
It's just, I don't
know the tools, I don't how.
00:16:01.81\00:16:04.68
And I think
that's why this program
00:16:04.71\00:16:05.79
with over these nine
seasons has been so valuable
00:16:05.82\00:16:07.97
because if we heard something
00:16:08.00\00:16:09.52
from the consumer,
from the audience is,
00:16:09.55\00:16:11.56
I see that there are
others and I see their path
00:16:11.59\00:16:14.51
and it let's me know
that there's a path for me.
00:16:14.54\00:16:16.75
And if that's the
only thing it does
00:16:16.78\00:16:18.40
that it is of inestimable value
00:16:18.43\00:16:21.30
because it shows
other there's a way out.
00:16:21.33\00:16:23.53
Yeah.
00:16:23.56\00:16:24.61
And I am gonna fight to
get that, I am doing it.
00:16:24.64\00:16:26.84
So the next role I love.
00:16:26.87\00:16:29.36
You know, there's
Adam, Jim and Fran.
00:16:29.39\00:16:32.38
And so Adam, the
first time I meet him,
00:16:32.41\00:16:35.66
we're talking away
and it's just all good
00:16:35.69\00:16:37.58
and he's a gangster
00:16:37.61\00:16:38.96
and you could--
not typical background
00:16:38.99\00:16:41.67
but a typical
background for a gangster.
00:16:41.70\00:16:44.16
You know, watching
his mom getting beat,
00:16:44.19\00:16:46.26
not been able to help his
mom, he's just a small child.
00:16:46.29\00:16:49.13
And then he says one day I'm--
00:16:49.16\00:16:51.49
if fighting with somebody
and he got really vicious.
00:16:51.52\00:16:54.10
But one day
fighting with somebody
00:16:54.13\00:16:55.60
and I looked at him
and said, you know what,
00:16:55.63\00:16:57.40
tonight one of us is gonna die.
00:16:57.43\00:16:59.74
He hasn't killing someone.
00:16:59.77\00:17:00.86
And at that
point I don't even know
00:17:00.89\00:17:02.36
what to say at that point.
00:17:02.39\00:17:03.73
But his joy of
getting back to a point
00:17:03.76\00:17:07.78
where he becomes human
again and can feel remorse in
00:17:07.81\00:17:10.19
any kind of way is
absolutely amazing.
00:17:10.22\00:17:13.09
Jim talked about
trying to kill himself
00:17:13.12\00:17:16.37
and he quoted suicide for years.
00:17:16.40\00:17:18.47
His only hope was in
death because he knew
00:17:18.50\00:17:21.27
that death was gonna
give him the way out,
00:17:21.30\00:17:22.96
the break that he needed.
00:17:22.99\00:17:24.53
And then Fran, my favorite.
00:17:24.56\00:17:26.28
Fran is our creative
director at True Step Ministries
00:17:26.31\00:17:29.23
and she is so
normal its ridiculous.
00:17:29.26\00:17:31.39
We put-- you put us
together and she's been
00:17:31.42\00:17:34.20
she was born and raised
in this incredible home,
00:17:34.23\00:17:36.47
she had-- she's the
leader of our church.
00:17:36.50\00:17:39.04
She is the woman who
does everything well.
00:17:39.07\00:17:41.84
She can do a sermon that
will knock your socks up.
00:17:41.87\00:17:44.62
And then I found out in
my interactions with her
00:17:44.65\00:17:48.16
that she's a
religious addict and in denial
00:17:48.19\00:17:50.80
and she has to
break that denial.
00:17:50.83\00:17:52.74
And I watch her do that.
00:17:52.77\00:17:55.06
And she's the
one that I told you,
00:17:55.09\00:17:56.58
she's Bob's wife and she said,
00:17:56.61\00:17:57.96
you know what, maybe the cross
was over killing on my behalf
00:17:57.99\00:18:01.73
because I didn't
need the blood of Christ.
00:18:01.76\00:18:03.99
And so her coming
back and needing that,
00:18:04.02\00:18:05.75
absolutely powerful program.
00:18:05.78\00:18:08.13
And I want you to
enjoy this rolling.
00:18:08.16\00:18:09.73
But this-- these
three really got to me.
00:18:09.76\00:18:13.30
Well, all of them
got to me. Just enjoy.
00:18:13.33\00:18:15.42
I got real violent,
really, really violent.
00:18:20.07\00:18:22.94
I just-- because all
I felt from the moment
00:18:22.97\00:18:27.09
I woke up until the
moment I went to sleep was hate.
00:18:27.12\00:18:30.82
I used to like sleeping
because it was the only time
00:18:30.85\00:18:32.91
I can get rest from myself,
other than that being high.
00:18:32.94\00:18:36.40
Yeah.
00:18:36.43\00:18:38.69
And so I really look
forward to go and sleep in day
00:18:38.72\00:18:41.05
but I just-- I was so angry,
and I grew up in you know,
00:18:41.08\00:18:46.70
in a place where that was okay.
00:18:46.73\00:18:48.66
It was okay to be violent.
00:18:48.69\00:18:49.72
It was okay to be you
know, just go out there
00:18:49.75\00:18:55.04
and have the attitude
that killer bee killed.
00:18:55.07\00:18:58.11
So explain that, some people
they're gonna have no idea
00:18:58.14\00:19:00.58
what you are talking about
00:19:00.61\00:19:01.64
and some people
they know exactly
00:19:01.67\00:19:02.98
because they've
grown up in the same place.
00:19:03.01\00:19:05.26
Just growing up in a
lower class neighborhood,
00:19:05.29\00:19:07.74
that's how everybody was.
00:19:07.77\00:19:09.63
You had to survive.
00:19:09.66\00:19:11.51
I get on a school bus, we
lived in a well community,
00:19:11.54\00:19:14.34
the nearest ambulance
was 30 miles north of me,
00:19:14.37\00:19:16.58
the nearest ambulance--
00:19:16.61\00:19:17.64
excuse me,
hospital is 80 miles south,
00:19:17.67\00:19:19.47
it was nothing but
woods and cow pastures
00:19:19.50\00:19:22.14
and so there wasn't
a lot of people around.
00:19:22.17\00:19:24.41
I knew when I was gonna die,
I knew where I was gonna die,
00:19:24.44\00:19:27.19
I knew how I was gonna die.
00:19:27.22\00:19:28.44
So I had that all planned out.
00:19:28.47\00:19:30.25
I got off the school
bus, the bus driver said,
00:19:30.28\00:19:31.98
have a great
weekend and drove away.
00:19:32.01\00:19:34.97
I went inside, I
initiated my suicide plan,
00:19:35.00\00:19:38.41
I went into my bedroom, I
wrote out my suicide note.
00:19:38.44\00:19:41.18
I grabbed my report
cards, I went into the bathroom,
00:19:41.21\00:19:44.68
I got a drink of water
00:19:44.71\00:19:45.75
and I look at myself into mirror
00:19:45.78\00:19:46.96
and I'm thinking, I am
looking at a dead person.
00:19:46.99\00:19:49.26
I remember
looking at my eyes knowing
00:19:49.29\00:19:50.81
that I am gonna be
dead within the hour.
00:19:50.84\00:19:52.76
I went into where
the guns were kept,
00:19:52.79\00:19:55.22
I pulled out a 22 caliber rifle.
00:19:55.25\00:19:57.73
People sometimes have
made fun of me, they've said,
00:19:57.76\00:19:59.63
why don't you used a larger gun,
00:19:59.66\00:20:00.69
you really didn't want to die.
00:20:00.72\00:20:02.05
Because that was the only gun
00:20:02.08\00:20:03.40
that I can
smuggle out of the house.
00:20:03.43\00:20:05.10
If someone had not been at home
00:20:05.13\00:20:06.91
I would certainly
used the larger gun.
00:20:06.94\00:20:09.01
I mean, that was
how intense I was.
00:20:09.04\00:20:10.17
Right.
00:20:10.20\00:20:11.23
I had to admit
that in my prayer time
00:20:11.26\00:20:16.39
there's never
anyconfession, almost never.
00:20:16.42\00:20:20.04
I could think of
anything to confess.
00:20:20.07\00:20:22.08
I mean, occasionally
I have critical time
00:20:22.11\00:20:24.87
or sometimes I'm impatient.
00:20:24.90\00:20:27.40
I've never seen
that. And-- Yeah.
00:20:27.43\00:20:30.13
I mean, so once in a while
00:20:30.16\00:20:31.41
there's some
small thing to confess
00:20:31.44\00:20:33.02
but generally there's not.
00:20:33.05\00:20:34.88
And for-- if I were
honest I would have to admit
00:20:34.91\00:20:38.28
that for me the
cross felt like overkill.
00:20:38.31\00:20:42.13
Wow.
00:20:42.16\00:20:44.24
So what do you mean by that,
the cross felt like overkill?
00:20:44.27\00:20:46.88
Like did you have to
actually go that far?
00:20:46.91\00:20:49.83
God had to pour
out all of heaven
00:20:49.86\00:20:52.06
and Jesus had to die
00:20:52.09\00:20:53.33
because I am
sometimes impatient?
00:20:53.36\00:20:56.21
You got to be kidding me. Wow.
00:20:56.24\00:20:58.50
That's worth-- I mean,
00:20:58.53\00:21:00.14
I don't think I had ever
said that to myself consciously
00:21:00.17\00:21:03.00
but when I was really honest
00:21:03.03\00:21:05.94
looking inside
that's what I saw.
00:21:05.97\00:21:09.52
Wow. Very powerful story.
00:21:09.55\00:21:12.67
Explain to me, Cheri,
00:21:12.70\00:21:13.79
you use the term
before, religious addiction.
00:21:13.82\00:21:16.83
You know, religious addiction,
00:21:16.86\00:21:18.31
and I just say
with that Fran says
00:21:18.34\00:21:20.55
what she calls it
approval addiction.
00:21:20.58\00:21:22.61
And so what-- from
the time she was little
00:21:22.64\00:21:25.14
she realizes she
wasn't the cool kid,
00:21:25.17\00:21:26.87
that she never fit
all that kind of stuff.
00:21:26.90\00:21:28.96
Even that her prom date
asked someone else to go
00:21:28.99\00:21:32.53
and she thought that okay,
00:21:32.56\00:21:34.07
because I am
putting the prom on.
00:21:34.10\00:21:35.81
You know, they're just enjoying
00:21:35.84\00:21:37.40
there in the
dance, I am putting it on.
00:21:37.43\00:21:39.03
And she would do
things, she was the smarter kid,
00:21:39.06\00:21:42.74
she was the one
that-- was more together.
00:21:42.77\00:21:44.57
I know what I am saying,
00:21:44.60\00:21:45.96
I can actually run
things and put things on
00:21:45.99\00:21:47.90
and organize things and so
I don't have to worry about
00:21:47.93\00:21:52.12
or get in touch
with how lonely I am,
00:21:52.15\00:21:54.72
how much I've missed.
00:21:54.75\00:21:56.32
And so she went from
that to running proms
00:21:56.35\00:21:59.37
and that kind of stuff to
being the best in religion.
00:21:59.40\00:22:02.21
She could give the best sermon,
00:22:02.24\00:22:03.64
she could give the best
00:22:03.67\00:22:04.71
as far as
unfolding the scripture.
00:22:04.74\00:22:07.31
She can do so well,
C.A., that you would say to her
00:22:07.34\00:22:09.91
after she was done
with the sermon is like
00:22:09.94\00:22:11.63
how did you get all
of that from that verse.
00:22:11.66\00:22:14.28
Good on you.
00:22:14.31\00:22:15.68
But she does it in order
to get that, good on you.
00:22:15.71\00:22:19.42
That's amazing.
00:22:19.45\00:22:20.57
And not that she
consciously does it
00:22:20.60\00:22:22.68
but religion and work
and those kind of things
00:22:22.71\00:22:25.33
really get her to where
she doesn't feel her need
00:22:25.36\00:22:29.55
for interaction
towards connection.
00:22:29.58\00:22:30.70
So real need then is approval
00:22:30.73\00:22:32.83
and the vehicle to get
that is doing religious stuff
00:22:32.86\00:22:35.88
so people say, oh, you
are really, really great.
00:22:35.91\00:22:38.08
That kind of stuff. Exactly.
00:22:38.11\00:22:39.46
And not even realizing that.
00:22:39.49\00:22:41.75
And which really interesting
a better religious addict
00:22:41.78\00:22:44.58
is when you break denial on that
00:22:44.61\00:22:46.92
is that you feel some
sense of, did I use God?
00:22:46.95\00:22:49.52
No, no, no. You were
that-- our damage is so intense.
00:22:49.55\00:22:54.20
Why we chose
addictions are so intense
00:22:54.23\00:22:56.77
that we will
choose whatever works.
00:22:56.80\00:22:58.47
And religion
works for some people
00:22:58.50\00:23:00.64
but it's not gonna work
for long if it's not real.
00:23:00.67\00:23:02.81
And God said,
let me break denial
00:23:02.84\00:23:04.70
not to cause you pain
but just to make it real.
00:23:04.73\00:23:07.81
With the religious addict,
their children usually act
00:23:07.84\00:23:11.23
just like drug addict children.
00:23:11.26\00:23:12.48
They'll start drinking,
they'll start running away,
00:23:12.51\00:23:14.15
they'll start
doing all that stuff.
00:23:14.18\00:23:15.79
And Bob and Fran
kids had all that,
00:23:15.82\00:23:18.07
they got in trouble in that way.
00:23:18.10\00:23:19.70
And so even thought it was
religiously looking all good
00:23:19.73\00:23:23.77
is why the kids acting out.
00:23:23.80\00:23:25.75
Well, because it's addictive.
00:23:25.78\00:23:27.43
I think we can see, Cheri,
00:23:27.46\00:23:29.51
that this is a
powerful series of programs
00:23:29.54\00:23:32.87
that really follows into
trajectory of the eight years
00:23:32.90\00:23:36.94
have preceded
as far as Celebrate
00:23:36.97\00:23:38.42
Life in Recovery is concerned
00:23:38.45\00:23:39.84
but also take us into
a new level, a new arena
00:23:39.87\00:23:43.39
and not just-- I
am not gonna do this,
00:23:43.42\00:23:45.70
I am not gonna go
back but I am gonna forward
00:23:45.73\00:23:47.76
in a very strong
and positive way.
00:23:47.79\00:23:49.40
And it really think about,
I am gonna think about it.
00:23:49.43\00:23:51.78
I am gonna
intentionally structure my life
00:23:51.81\00:23:55.13
in a way that I can
maintain my recovery.
00:23:55.16\00:23:57.10
Yes.
00:23:57.13\00:23:58.17
Intentionally I am gonna get up.
00:23:58.20\00:24:00.40
And it's
ridiculous when I think--
00:24:00.43\00:24:01.90
when I talk to health nuts
00:24:01.93\00:24:02.97
they say, get up and
drink a couple glasses of water
00:24:03.00\00:24:04.97
in the morning
and I am thinking,
00:24:05.00\00:24:06.05
I don't want to, I want
a pastry, give me a donut.
00:24:06.08\00:24:09.00
You know what I mean?
00:24:09.03\00:24:10.08
But if I do
that I am in trouble.
00:24:10.11\00:24:12.53
So even when I don't
want to do the right thing
00:24:12.56\00:24:15.40
I am gonna do the right thing
00:24:15.43\00:24:16.48
because I'm finally
understanding and knowing
00:24:16.51\00:24:19.99
that if I am gonna
do long term recovery
00:24:20.02\00:24:22.59
I am gonna have to
change not only the desires
00:24:22.62\00:24:25.19
to do the wrong
thing, I am gonna change
00:24:25.22\00:24:27.59
the desires of what tastes good,
00:24:27.62\00:24:29.37
what is good, all
of that kind of stuff.
00:24:29.40\00:24:30.52
Yeah. Yeah.
00:24:30.55\00:24:31.85
And not to get preachy
but 1 John 1:9 comes to mind.
00:24:31.88\00:24:34.37
I was talking to
some the other day.
00:24:34.40\00:24:36.45
If we confess our sins
00:24:36.48\00:24:37.60
He's faithful
and just to forgive.
00:24:37.63\00:24:38.73
Well, forgive is
good, and it's necessary.
00:24:38.76\00:24:40.79
But if He left you there
00:24:40.82\00:24:42.03
He haven't done
anything for you.
00:24:42.06\00:24:45.02
And to cleanse
from all unrighteous.
00:24:45.05\00:24:47.40
So I get forgiveness
then I get cleaned up.
00:24:47.43\00:24:49.76
And that's what
this occurs to me
00:24:49.79\00:24:52.38
is that we got the forgiveness,
00:24:52.41\00:24:54.37
we got to pass other
way now I need to get clean
00:24:54.40\00:24:56.79
so I can go on in the future.
00:24:56.82\00:24:58.54
And that's crucially important.
00:24:58.57\00:25:00.13
We're gonna take a
break, come back for the close.
00:25:00.16\00:25:02.03
And you know what,
00:25:02.06\00:25:03.10
I think we just
need to wrap all this up
00:25:03.13\00:25:05.35
because it's good
stuff and I am gonna
00:25:05.38\00:25:06.81
sound like your
momma when we come back.
00:25:06.84\00:25:08.64