The following program discusses sensitive issues 00:00:01.40\00:00:03.36 related to addictive behavior. 00:00:03.39\00:00:04.98 Parents are cautioned that some material 00:00:05.01\00:00:06.85 may be too candid for younger children. 00:00:06.88\00:00:09.11 Welcome to "Celebrating Life in Recovery." 00:00:10.56\00:00:12.30 I'm Cheri your host. 00:00:12.33\00:00:13.70 We're gonna talk to two guys on this program 00:00:13.73\00:00:16.51 that has spent a good portion of their life in prison 00:00:16.54\00:00:19.89 and now they are going back in 00:00:19.92\00:00:21.79 and grab and hold of anybody who will listen. 00:00:21.82\00:00:24.47 It's gonna be cool. 00:00:24.50\00:00:25.87 Welcome back. 00:00:54.51\00:00:55.88 Today we're gonna be talking about some pretty heavy stuff. 00:00:55.91\00:00:59.11 We're gonna over some testimonies. 00:00:59.14\00:01:00.78 We're gonna listen to how God stand somebody up in ministry. 00:01:00.81\00:01:04.34 I am really excited that who is here 00:01:04.37\00:01:06.56 we're gonna interview Buddy, we're gonna interview you. 00:01:06.59\00:01:09.44 And thank you for being on the program, 00:01:09.47\00:01:11.15 and also Bryan who works with you. 00:01:11.18\00:01:13.19 But before we get there, I want to say something 00:01:13.22\00:01:15.10 that's I think really important in our journey. 00:01:15.13\00:01:18.78 Because when I first got into recovery I was serious, 00:01:18.81\00:01:22.30 I looked at all the issues and the fact that I had, 00:01:22.33\00:01:25.95 you know, junk, you know, I had look at and deal with 00:01:25.98\00:01:29.40 and drug addictions and I had to learn how to be social 00:01:29.43\00:01:32.68 and be normal and I am thinking normal, 00:01:32.71\00:01:34.75 I didn't even know what that was. 00:01:34.78\00:01:37.10 But, you know, after little while God looked at me and said 00:01:37.13\00:01:40.73 I really think through the Holy Spirit. 00:01:40.76\00:01:42.37 He said, you know what? 00:01:42.40\00:01:43.77 Are you plan at all, 00:01:43.80\00:01:45.46 you know, are you laughing at all, are you hanging out. 00:01:45.49\00:01:48.64 And He really took the recovery 00:01:48.67\00:01:50.41 and try to put it in perspective for me. 00:01:50.44\00:01:52.75 That we're gonna look at issues 00:01:52.78\00:01:54.22 through your journey with God. 00:01:54.25\00:01:55.87 You're gonna look at things 00:01:55.90\00:01:57.27 and you are gonna have to learn 00:01:57.30\00:01:58.67 different behaviors think different. 00:01:58.70\00:02:00.50 God renews our mind, changes all that kind of stuff. 00:02:00.53\00:02:04.43 But He's really gonna show you how to celebrate too. 00:02:04.46\00:02:07.29 And at the end of the program I want to show you 00:02:07.32\00:02:10.58 something that we put together for the churches. 00:02:10.61\00:02:12.28 Its called "Celebrating Life in Recovery" "Steps to Christ." 00:02:12.31\00:02:15.02 How do you go through all of this junk, 00:02:15.05\00:02:17.09 but remember to have fun, meet people, 00:02:17.12\00:02:21.27 form friendships to all the things 00:02:21.30\00:02:23.50 that God want you to do. 00:02:23.53\00:02:24.90 I took piano lessons, art lessons. 00:02:24.93\00:02:26.56 I ended up on taking biking and cycling and, 00:02:26.59\00:02:30.76 you know, doing stuff with my family. 00:02:30.79\00:02:32.49 And so part of recovery is to learn 00:02:32.52\00:02:34.40 how to do all that kind of stuff too, 00:02:34.43\00:02:36.30 it's not just looking at anger or fear or addition. 00:02:36.33\00:02:39.94 And so as you are doing this, 00:02:39.97\00:02:41.44 put in a lot of time to have fun. 00:02:41.47\00:02:45.53 And I love--I read in a book one time as I talked about it. 00:02:45.56\00:02:49.21 If you're driving down the street 00:02:49.24\00:02:50.64 and you're looking through your front window of the car, 00:02:50.67\00:02:54.85 you have a little rearview mirror, it's tiny, 00:02:54.88\00:02:57.45 but you really do have to look at what's behind you sometimes. 00:02:57.48\00:03:00.36 But if you just focused on that rearview mirror 00:03:00.39\00:03:02.59 you're gonna run into something, 00:03:02.62\00:03:03.99 you know, what I mean. 00:03:04.02\00:03:05.39 And this is same in recovery. 00:03:05.42\00:03:06.79 Now that you are getting your life back 00:03:06.82\00:03:08.80 and you're gonna have a great time doing that. 00:03:08.83\00:03:10.91 Every once in a while you're gonna look at your stuff 00:03:10.94\00:03:13.24 but don't get stuck there. 00:03:13.27\00:03:14.64 Because, you know, God says look at Me. 00:03:14.67\00:03:17.44 I am gonna really-- I am your advocate, 00:03:17.47\00:03:19.22 I am gonna teach you some stuff. 00:03:19.25\00:03:20.62 I am gonna teach you to laugh. 00:03:20.65\00:03:22.02 I am gonna teach you to be normal. 00:03:22.05\00:03:23.42 I am gonna teach you that there is a God in heaven 00:03:23.45\00:03:24.82 that cares about you and He's gonna restore, 00:03:24.85\00:03:27.48 redeem, and stand you up in ways that are unbelievable. 00:03:27.51\00:03:31.31 And so now, Buddy, that brings me to you 00:03:31.34\00:03:34.61 because I have seen just since we met, 00:03:34.64\00:03:37.71 just talking on the phone and meeting today 00:03:37.74\00:03:40.25 as that I have seen God do that in your life. 00:03:40.28\00:03:43.40 And so we're gonna find out who you are and, 00:03:43.43\00:03:45.92 you know, if you need to even start from the beginning 00:03:45.95\00:03:48.32 and then how God stood you up. 00:03:48.35\00:03:50.61 Well, well, I first of all want to say 00:03:50.64\00:03:52.98 I also thank you for allow me to be here 00:03:53.01\00:03:56.21 and it's just a blessing to be able to come and to share. 00:03:56.24\00:03:59.79 And I can definitely relate to a lot of people 00:03:59.82\00:04:04.64 that have lot of issues in their life. 00:04:04.67\00:04:06.40 I started off at a young age and I was-- 00:04:06.43\00:04:11.12 had a very loving mother and my father 00:04:11.15\00:04:15.87 though he was a good guy but he was never around. 00:04:15.90\00:04:19.67 He was always locked up in prison in and out and then-- 00:04:19.70\00:04:24.75 From the time you were really little? 00:04:24.78\00:04:26.15 Yeah, from the time I was really little. 00:04:26.18\00:04:28.23 So I don't really have a lot of memories of my father. 00:04:28.26\00:04:31.95 He was in and out 00:04:31.98\00:04:33.35 and then I remember a couple of times but, 00:04:33.38\00:04:36.40 you know, like one time I remember, 00:04:36.43\00:04:38.40 he had escaped I didn't know that. 00:04:38.43\00:04:40.18 Then he came around a couple times but he couldn't hang out 00:04:40.21\00:04:43.94 because, you know, the police were looking for him. 00:04:43.97\00:04:46.28 Then another time, you know, 00:04:46.31\00:04:48.58 he was finally arrested and then back in. 00:04:48.61\00:04:52.27 And then another time I remember he was on the run 00:04:52.30\00:04:55.28 and I'd never see him that time. 00:04:55.31\00:04:56.85 Well, yeah one time when he first left 00:04:56.88\00:04:59.12 he was on the run for like 13.5 years, 00:04:59.15\00:05:02.64 you know, he was wanted for escape and so I-- 00:05:02.67\00:05:05.58 And if it sounds like it's really interesting 00:05:05.61\00:05:07.84 as what you said is even though he wanted to be in your life 00:05:07.87\00:05:10.61 he couldn't, because he knew that he couldn't show up 00:05:10.64\00:05:12.84 somewhere that was so obvious-- 00:05:12.87\00:05:14.93 Right, and he made--right and he made some mistakes, 00:05:14.96\00:05:18.02 you know, so he couldn't come around his own family 00:05:18.05\00:05:21.19 he wanted to, but he couldn't. 00:05:21.22\00:05:22.67 Did you visit him in jail? 00:05:22.70\00:05:24.31 One time when I was kid, 00:05:25.78\00:05:27.96 I remember once like most places, 00:05:27.99\00:05:30.46 no--we, I didn't get to go see him. 00:05:30.49\00:05:33.07 But like I said, I was really little 00:05:33.10\00:05:35.20 and he took off and escaped 00:05:35.23\00:05:37.90 and I was just really like two-years-old, 00:05:37.93\00:05:40.64 when I first knew. Yeah, really young. 00:05:40.67\00:05:42.04 Yeah, two and three and four in that age 00:05:42.07\00:05:44.41 and then he escape for, he was going for 13.5 year, 00:05:44.44\00:05:49.86 so I've never got to, you know, see him then 00:05:49.89\00:05:52.29 but I think one time when he first took off, 00:05:52.32\00:05:55.31 a couple times he was in and out you know hiding. 00:05:55.34\00:05:58.22 But my mother she raised three of us, 00:05:58.25\00:06:02.05 me and my brother and sister and she did best she could. 00:06:02.08\00:06:05.02 She got saved, found the Lord 00:06:05.05\00:06:07.83 when I was about eight-years-old. 00:06:07.86\00:06:09.25 So before then, you know, the life 00:06:09.28\00:06:12.88 that I remember it wasn't very good, 00:06:12.91\00:06:14.99 you know, I was definitely just heard trying to raise us and, 00:06:15.02\00:06:19.43 you know, he was in and out 00:06:19.46\00:06:20.83 and then she raised us by herself, she worked hard. 00:06:20.86\00:06:24.89 God comes in the picture and the home is actually safer. 00:06:24.92\00:06:27.97 Yes. More stable. 00:06:28.00\00:06:29.37 Yes, and she's trying to do her best and work 00:06:29.40\00:06:31.72 and support three kids and is really hard over, 00:06:31.75\00:06:34.41 but she did very well and she got saved 00:06:34.44\00:06:37.33 like when I was about eight. 00:06:37.36\00:06:38.73 So then we started going to church. 00:06:38.76\00:06:40.86 You know, and that's at the age of 11 00:06:40.89\00:06:46.53 probably right around there I was in fifth grade, 00:06:46.56\00:06:49.75 the summer the fifth grade. 00:06:49.78\00:06:51.15 First time I really remember actually using myself I started, 00:06:51.18\00:06:55.13 you know, I smoked cigarettes already 00:06:55.16\00:06:56.98 but then I started smoking marijuana 00:06:57.01\00:06:58.86 and then it went on to other things 00:06:58.89\00:07:01.17 and before you knew that I was-- 00:07:01.20\00:07:03.28 A lot of people will say fifth grade, no way. 00:07:03.31\00:07:06.09 But, you know, it's amazing to me how many really young kids 00:07:06.12\00:07:10.83 start to use especially like smoking 00:07:10.86\00:07:13.14 just experimenting with stuff. 00:07:13.17\00:07:15.00 Yes. And I started earlier 00:07:15.03\00:07:16.87 and I know many people start way before that age, 00:07:16.90\00:07:19.62 you know, but I started then and then before you know it, 00:07:19.65\00:07:23.79 you know its causing problems because my mother is real strict 00:07:23.82\00:07:27.46 and I would be sneaking out of the house 00:07:27.49\00:07:30.34 me and my little brother, 00:07:30.37\00:07:31.74 you know, I was a bad influence on him 00:07:31.77\00:07:33.36 'cause he's three and half years younger than me 00:07:33.39\00:07:35.39 and he's trying to follow me you know. 00:07:35.42\00:07:37.58 And so he started earlier than me, you know. 00:07:37.61\00:07:40.84 So I am doing things I shouldn't 00:07:40.87\00:07:43.94 and then for you know, what, 00:07:43.97\00:07:45.34 you know, I am getting in trouble. 00:07:45.37\00:07:46.76 I went to jail I was like 15. 00:07:46.79\00:07:49.76 I went 15 or 16 I went to the jail for the first time 00:07:49.79\00:07:53.16 but I was so out of it. 00:07:53.19\00:07:54.56 They thought that I had overdosed on something 00:07:54.59\00:07:57.21 because I was, you know, coming to. 00:07:57.24\00:07:59.68 And so they ended up taking me to the hospital 00:07:59.71\00:08:02.45 and they were gonna pump my stomach 00:08:02.48\00:08:03.85 but I guess they found out that I was just drunk. 00:08:03.88\00:08:05.88 I drink so much, you know, when I was 00:08:05.91\00:08:09.10 because I would always have to hurry and get home. 00:08:09.13\00:08:11.24 Everybody else could hang out but not me. 00:08:11.27\00:08:12.88 My mom is strict, so I had to get home so I thought 00:08:12.91\00:08:15.52 man, if I hurry and drink all this real quick 00:08:15.55\00:08:17.77 then I'll go home but see if you drink it too quick 00:08:17.80\00:08:20.31 then you can't function at all and that's what I try to do. 00:08:20.34\00:08:22.70 When you get toxic 00:08:22.73\00:08:24.10 I mean, you really actually poison ourself 00:08:24.13\00:08:25.65 and we don't even know it. 00:08:25.68\00:08:27.05 Yes, I should have been dead many times 00:08:27.08\00:08:28.45 just from the alcohol poisoning because I did it all the time. 00:08:28.48\00:08:31.67 So at early age I became drinker, you know. 00:08:31.70\00:08:34.62 I want to hang out with the crowd 00:08:34.65\00:08:36.02 and the people that I thought was cool I did what they did. 00:08:36.05\00:08:39.07 And so I started at early age 00:08:39.10\00:08:40.57 and I was hanging out with older people 00:08:40.60\00:08:42.92 and that became a problem 00:08:42.95\00:08:44.54 because where I was from 00:08:44.57\00:08:46.74 Wabash, Indiana is where I'm from 00:08:46.77\00:08:49.07 and they started early. 00:08:49.10\00:08:51.45 There are lot of kids and I was just 00:08:51.48\00:08:53.01 hanging out with the wrong crowd 00:08:53.04\00:08:54.82 and I can't blame them but I chose to do what they did. 00:08:54.85\00:08:59.02 And then at early age I started getting in trouble 00:08:59.05\00:09:01.92 and I got in trouble another time for drinking 00:09:01.95\00:09:06.40 and then it went on, in and out for drinking. 00:09:06.43\00:09:07.80 So in and out of jail and juvenile, all that kind stuff? 00:09:07.83\00:09:10.84 Yeah juvenile, I ended up going to boy school 00:09:10.87\00:09:13.20 and then it was just internally for drinking, 00:09:13.23\00:09:15.97 you know, being a problem child I was what I became. 00:09:16.00\00:09:20.38 And so my mother she couldn't really do much with me. 00:09:20.41\00:09:25.81 She got married, you know, to my step dad 00:09:25.84\00:09:29.10 and he was real strict and so it was real strict in our home 00:09:29.13\00:09:32.14 and I was real rebellious. 00:09:32.17\00:09:34.06 You know, I wanted to do things my way 00:09:34.09\00:09:36.02 and I choose to do with my way so I got it my way. 00:09:36.05\00:09:38.99 I ended up going to prison. 00:09:39.02\00:09:41.63 Well, first of all 00:09:41.66\00:09:44.41 alcohol and drugs centers. 00:09:44.44\00:09:46.01 Buddy, I've to say that it's interesting 00:09:46.04\00:09:48.11 what you just said is like, 00:09:48.14\00:09:49.51 you know, I wanted to do it my way and I got it my way. 00:09:49.54\00:09:52.02 And so all of the consequences 00:09:52.05\00:09:53.73 for everything that you were doing 00:09:53.76\00:09:55.13 all the sudden its right there in your hands. 00:09:55.16\00:09:57.23 Okay now I'm in jail 00:09:57.26\00:09:58.73 and I am having to deal with all of this kind of stuff. 00:09:58.76\00:10:01.91 Right, so I ended up saying and thinking that I thought, 00:10:01.94\00:10:06.04 man, I don't want to go by these rules, I want to have fun. 00:10:06.07\00:10:08.21 Everybody else gets to go out and do all these, why can't I? 00:10:08.24\00:10:11.04 But my mom is a loving mother and tried to raise me right. 00:10:11.07\00:10:13.73 And she tried to raise me by the word. 00:10:13.76\00:10:15.87 And I just chose to rebel 00:10:15.90\00:10:17.64 because I wanted to be like everybody else. 00:10:17.67\00:10:19.78 So I was in and out 00:10:19.81\00:10:21.83 and then I went to couple treatment centers 00:10:21.86\00:10:24.06 to try to get away from prison. 00:10:24.09\00:10:25.56 I wasn't there to be serious 00:10:25.59\00:10:27.64 and I did the steps I tried the steps, 00:10:27.67\00:10:30.24 you know, but I wasn't opened up, 00:10:30.27\00:10:32.50 I didn't let it in my heart enough, you know. 00:10:32.53\00:10:34.77 I wasn't really ready. 00:10:34.80\00:10:36.17 You were just playing the system. 00:10:36.20\00:10:37.78 I was trying to play the system 00:10:37.81\00:10:39.39 because I didn't want to go to prison, 00:10:39.42\00:10:40.79 you know, and I was getting high there. 00:10:40.82\00:10:42.54 I was going on passes and came back and selling weed there, 00:10:42.57\00:10:45.79 you know, I was not serious. 00:10:45.82\00:10:47.44 And as soon as I was out, 00:10:47.47\00:10:49.02 you know, I mean the day I got out, 00:10:49.05\00:10:50.89 you know, I am drinking, you know, I was not serious. 00:10:50.92\00:10:53.14 I mean I was doing things in there even. 00:10:53.17\00:10:55.29 So anyway I ended up going on to prison, 00:10:55.32\00:10:59.08 I ended, soon as I got out of the drug centers 00:10:59.11\00:11:01.01 I would I ended up in prison then back out 00:11:01.04\00:11:04.09 as soon as I get out, I was back there. 00:11:04.12\00:11:05.61 What were the charges when you were going in and out, 00:11:05.64\00:11:07.87 because it sounds like you weren't robbing 00:11:07.90\00:11:09.96 or stealing or doing all that kind stuff. 00:11:09.99\00:11:12.48 Yeah, well first of all it's just alcohol, 00:11:12.51\00:11:15.18 you know, in the jail I was always just for alcohol. 00:11:15.21\00:11:17.94 But yeah, it came to where I started stealing for my habit. 00:11:17.97\00:11:21.23 I started just burglary, 00:11:21.26\00:11:23.25 you know, I wasn't robbing with the gun or nothing but, 00:11:23.28\00:11:26.41 you know, to me I say, this is all petty things 00:11:26.44\00:11:28.82 but you know it is serious. 00:11:28.85\00:11:30.22 I was stealing things and burglary, 00:11:30.25\00:11:32.28 so I, you know, I would go to prison 00:11:32.31\00:11:34.72 I was in there like two, three times 00:11:34.75\00:11:36.75 just for like theft, burglary, a bunch of burglaries. 00:11:36.78\00:11:40.13 And but while I was in prison, 00:11:40.16\00:11:42.08 while I was in jail my mindset was still to do the same things. 00:11:42.11\00:11:46.14 I still want to get high, you know, 00:11:46.17\00:11:48.21 and that's all my mindset was, was just to get high. 00:11:48.24\00:11:52.11 You know, it would-- I had a lot issues in my life 00:11:52.14\00:11:55.20 and if I got high it just kind of escaped everything else. 00:11:55.23\00:11:58.59 I didn't have to think about everything else. 00:11:58.62\00:12:00.01 Everything was okay. 00:12:00.04\00:12:01.41 Yeah, I didn't have to be responsible. 00:12:01.44\00:12:02.87 I just, you know, I would just get high 00:12:02.90\00:12:05.40 and then I would-- 00:12:05.43\00:12:07.04 when I come down I get high again if I could. 00:12:07.07\00:12:09.42 So I was constantly even in jail 00:12:09.45\00:12:12.06 trying to think of a way to get high. 00:12:12.09\00:12:13.85 How do I get high? How can we get this in here? 00:12:13.88\00:12:17.05 You know, so we would always scam and try 00:12:17.08\00:12:19.89 and what we usually accomplish a few things and, 00:12:19.92\00:12:22.88 you know, we get in there and tried to escape, you know. 00:12:22.91\00:12:27.36 What's really interesting 00:12:27.39\00:12:28.76 as for some purchase is that even in prison 00:12:28.79\00:12:31.26 you've got somebody trying to make wine out of the fruit 00:12:31.29\00:12:33.66 and I mean that you were literally-- 00:12:33.69\00:12:37.95 you can get high wherever you want it, get high. 00:12:37.98\00:12:40.06 I mean, it doesn't matter that you're behind bars, 00:12:40.09\00:12:41.90 doesn't matter about all that kind stuff. 00:12:41.93\00:12:43.99 And you know I want to ask you because it's interesting to me 00:12:44.02\00:12:48.07 that coming down was not okay with you. 00:12:48.10\00:12:52.48 Being a normal, being in your right mind was not okay, 00:12:52.51\00:12:56.33 you just you know, I don't want to be clear headed. 00:12:56.36\00:13:01.45 I don't want to be normal, 00:13:01.48\00:13:02.85 I feel better when I've got drugs or alcohol in me. 00:13:02.88\00:13:06.83 I socialize better, I have more fun 00:13:06.86\00:13:10.07 and that's what we really tell ourselves 00:13:10.10\00:13:11.59 especially I think coming from a home 00:13:11.62\00:13:13.69 where you know, everything is crazy 00:13:13.72\00:13:15.46 and dad's gonna all that kind stuff is that, 00:13:15.49\00:13:18.63 you know, we want to feel better. 00:13:18.66\00:13:20.89 Yes, and that is so true. 00:13:20.92\00:13:22.92 But mainly for me it's just 00:13:22.95\00:13:24.97 that's what I would do just to escape 00:13:25.00\00:13:27.26 I didn't have to think about my problems. 00:13:27.29\00:13:29.06 I didn't have to think about not be in home. 00:13:29.09\00:13:31.63 I didn't have to think about all that. 00:13:31.66\00:13:33.73 You know, so I was, 00:13:33.76\00:13:35.30 you know, in school I just started at young age 00:13:35.33\00:13:37.75 and even at school I was doing, 00:13:37.78\00:13:39.75 you know, I went to school to get high 00:13:39.78\00:13:41.30 because my mom was so strict, 00:13:41.33\00:13:42.70 I didn't want to stay home I want to go to school. 00:13:42.73\00:13:44.97 So I go to school because there was party to me you know. 00:13:45.00\00:13:48.28 Anyway when I ended up going to prison 00:13:48.31\00:13:50.37 you know I was for stealing and burglary 00:13:50.40\00:13:53.05 and I ended up doing like few months here few months there 00:13:53.08\00:13:56.62 then it went to--I did almost three years straight and-- 00:13:56.65\00:14:01.89 But every time I got out, you know, I would go right back 00:14:01.92\00:14:05.32 because I was doing the same old things. 00:14:05.35\00:14:06.77 I was never out very long. 00:14:06.80\00:14:09.75 I ended up getting like us 16 year sentence 00:14:09.78\00:14:13.81 two, eight years sentences in Wabash run in while 00:14:13.84\00:14:17.64 constantly we have to do one sentence then the next. 00:14:17.67\00:14:20.80 And I mean they're doing the same thing 00:14:20.83\00:14:23.32 because I learned at early age with the people I hung out with. 00:14:23.35\00:14:26.52 I would go to prison I would know-- 00:14:26.55\00:14:28.15 I would hook up with the people that I knew 00:14:28.18\00:14:30.51 and they were doing those type of things. 00:14:30.54\00:14:31.91 So that's what I will do, that's what I need to do. 00:14:31.94\00:14:34.36 I learned early how to hustle in there and, 00:14:34.39\00:14:36.96 you know, how to get by and, you know, so I did that, 00:14:36.99\00:14:39.89 you know, I would try to manage things 00:14:39.92\00:14:41.95 to where, how can we get this in? 00:14:41.98\00:14:43.35 How can I get high? 00:14:43.38\00:14:44.75 How can I get money? 00:14:44.78\00:14:46.15 And that's the way I lived in. 00:14:46.18\00:14:49.40 For people that are not educated, 00:14:49.43\00:14:52.00 you know, it's oblivious that there are drugs 00:14:52.03\00:14:54.32 and that kind of alcohol in the prison system. 00:14:54.35\00:14:57.06 How normally, how common is that? 00:14:57.09\00:15:00.02 This very common especially years back well I was there, 00:15:01.13\00:15:04.92 I've been out six years now, 00:15:04.95\00:15:06.77 but while I was in there, it's very common. 00:15:06.80\00:15:09.09 That's what people did then you know, it may be, 00:15:09.12\00:15:11.67 they might have tighter hold on it now in most places. 00:15:11.70\00:15:15.25 But back then it was real common and, 00:15:15.28\00:15:18.09 you know, if you it's-- 00:15:18.12\00:15:19.49 there is many different ways to get drugs in there 00:15:19.52\00:15:22.19 and that's just what we did. 00:15:22.22\00:15:23.59 We hustle whatever you can. 00:15:23.62\00:15:25.12 And I was addicted to that lifestyle even 00:15:25.15\00:15:29.54 and I just-- that's what I did. 00:15:29.57\00:15:30.94 Talk about that a bit, 00:15:30.97\00:15:32.34 because it's not that's not a chemical addiction, 00:15:32.37\00:15:34.03 but the addiction to the lifestyle is huge. 00:15:34.06\00:15:36.23 Most of us don't see that into way into recovery. 00:15:36.26\00:15:39.48 Right I-- 'Cause I like to hustle. 00:15:39.51\00:15:43.05 Yeah, I love that lifestyle, I loved to hustle. 00:15:43.08\00:15:46.10 I loved to be around that type of environment 00:15:46.13\00:15:48.09 that type of people that were doing those things. 00:15:48.12\00:15:50.23 And especially if you're hustling 00:15:50.26\00:15:52.07 and you have like if you got the stuff, 00:15:52.10\00:15:55.99 you know, you got power too. 00:15:56.02\00:15:57.49 You know and there's something with that power, 00:15:57.52\00:15:59.21 there's something that you just think, 00:15:59.24\00:16:01.20 man, I got, you know, I can do about anything I want in here 00:16:01.23\00:16:04.45 you know, because I know lot of people 00:16:04.48\00:16:06.65 wouldn't understand this but prison used to be fun. 00:16:06.68\00:16:09.57 You know, we would say, man, it isn't so bad 00:16:09.60\00:16:11.49 so the consequences if prison is so fun when we get out, 00:16:11.52\00:16:15.35 well, it wouldn't bother us to go do these things we use to do 00:16:15.38\00:16:17.97 because the consequences isn't that bad. 00:16:18.00\00:16:19.98 You go to prison, you go, 00:16:20.01\00:16:21.38 you're going there and you stay high everyday. 00:16:21.41\00:16:23.50 I mean you get drunk a lot, 00:16:23.53\00:16:25.33 you know, and you do these things that you can do. 00:16:25.36\00:16:28.03 You can do a lot in there that you did out there. 00:16:28.06\00:16:31.24 Even in that lifestyle is that when somebody says, 00:16:31.27\00:16:34.34 oh, you went to prison wow it's like a-- 00:16:34.37\00:16:37.66 it's almost like batch of honor in some places. 00:16:37.69\00:16:40.05 Yes, a lot places. And so it's like-- 00:16:40.08\00:16:43.07 it's a whole different mindset, 00:16:43.10\00:16:45.48 it's a whole different way of looking at it. 00:16:45.51\00:16:47.53 You get kind of little bit more respect, 00:16:47.56\00:16:51.08 you know, because I've been in, I've been in 10 times, 5 times 00:16:51.11\00:16:55.57 whatever but it's something that you actually get respect for. 00:16:55.60\00:17:00.47 Yes, and a lot people thing it's cool, you know. 00:17:00.50\00:17:03.57 And they think, man, you've been in prison and they go 00:17:03.60\00:17:06.32 and they think it's cool because they've been there. 00:17:06.35\00:17:08.07 So they get out and the people there around, 00:17:08.10\00:17:10.75 they just think its cool and it's definitely not cool at all. 00:17:10.78\00:17:14.46 And but I ended up is all these little things 00:17:14.49\00:17:19.33 that I say or little things that I did, they all added up 00:17:19.36\00:17:23.15 because, yeah I got felony here and I got a felony there 00:17:23.18\00:17:27.39 and then you get arrested again 00:17:27.42\00:17:28.79 and you're just trying to get the best 00:17:28.82\00:17:30.19 till you can with the system 00:17:30.22\00:17:32.47 and you got to fair of those felonies add up 00:17:32.50\00:17:34.85 because if you get three 00:17:34.88\00:17:36.89 which I had few then you can't get such good deal 00:17:36.92\00:17:40.32 because habitual comes into play. 00:17:40.35\00:17:42.82 So I'm in and out and I go in like three or four times 00:17:42.85\00:17:46.34 and then I get in trouble 00:17:46.37\00:17:47.74 while I'm in there for attempt to escape from the jail 00:17:47.77\00:17:51.08 and I ended up getting a four year sentence for that 00:17:51.11\00:17:53.63 and conspiracy to escape. 00:17:53.66\00:17:56.92 And so I'm always seems like I'm always into something 00:17:56.95\00:18:00.09 and then the next day, you know, I'm out, 00:18:00.12\00:18:02.24 I'm only out few days every time 00:18:02.27\00:18:04.39 but the last time I got out I was out five and half months 00:18:04.42\00:18:08.06 and that's the most I've been out since I was 17-years-old. 00:18:08.09\00:18:12.09 I've been out six months at that time. 00:18:12.12\00:18:14.34 So I'm out and I'm doing the same old thing. 00:18:14.37\00:18:16.95 You know, I mean I was in there doing it. 00:18:16.98\00:18:18.41 How you gonna quit out there 00:18:18.44\00:18:19.88 if you don't quit while you're in there. 00:18:19.91\00:18:21.71 So I get out, I'm out just a few days 00:18:21.74\00:18:24.34 like I said five and half months 00:18:24.37\00:18:26.06 I ended up getting in some more trouble 00:18:26.09\00:18:28.63 for a robbery that happened and some thefts, some things. 00:18:28.66\00:18:32.00 Anyway so I go back into the jail. 00:18:32.03\00:18:35.06 I'm still doing the same, having the same mindset, 00:18:35.09\00:18:38.24 I ended up at that time that's when I got the 16 years plus, 00:18:38.27\00:18:44.50 I have parole violations. 00:18:44.53\00:18:45.90 So I go in everything all my buddies were already there. 00:18:45.93\00:18:49.39 I've already been to all these prisons, you know, 00:18:49.42\00:18:51.31 because I got shuffled from this prison to that one 00:18:51.34\00:18:53.74 to that one that one that one, 00:18:53.77\00:18:55.39 you know, just a round of circle. 00:18:55.42\00:18:56.85 None of that is traumatic to you, none of it is big deal. 00:18:56.88\00:18:59.36 I've down this before I am just settling, 00:18:59.39\00:19:01.11 then I'm gonna do my time again. 00:19:01.14\00:19:02.55 I'm just hustling and getting by 00:19:02.58\00:19:04.27 and this is how I'm doing, I'm not thinking about future, 00:19:04.30\00:19:06.76 I'm not thinking nothing but just day-by-day getting high. 00:19:06.79\00:19:09.78 That was my mindset. 00:19:09.81\00:19:11.22 So I ended up going back and everything is already there, 00:19:11.25\00:19:13.52 all my buddies already there, so it's already set up for me, 00:19:13.55\00:19:16.06 so soon as I go in it's on. 00:19:16.09\00:19:18.45 You know, hustling and just constantly taking. 00:19:18.48\00:19:22.49 This my life, this what I do 00:19:22.52\00:19:25.08 and then I ended up while I am in there, 00:19:25.11\00:19:27.23 you know, I am hustling from here to there 00:19:27.26\00:19:29.13 and they just keep moving me to different places 00:19:29.16\00:19:30.88 because I'm under investigation 00:19:30.91\00:19:32.61 and they hear this and hear that, 00:19:32.64\00:19:34.24 but I was never they could never prove it, 00:19:34.27\00:19:37.52 you know, so they would just move me around. 00:19:37.55\00:19:39.73 And so this last time while I was in there, 00:19:39.76\00:19:42.88 I ended up getting in trouble. 00:19:42.91\00:19:45.40 I was at Pendleton Reformatory at the time 00:19:45.43\00:19:48.01 because I'd already got shift from another place 00:19:48.04\00:19:49.87 under investigation for drugs. 00:19:49.90\00:19:51.90 So only way while I am there 00:19:51.93\00:19:53.52 long story short I ended up getting arrested again. 00:19:53.55\00:19:57.64 Good friend of mine was arrested 00:19:57.67\00:19:59.16 for brining in LSD in the visitor room to me. 00:19:59.19\00:20:02.26 And then in the meantime 00:20:02.29\00:20:04.68 I've been under investigation, I didn't know it. 00:20:04.71\00:20:07.29 And a friend of mine that was in there 00:20:07.32\00:20:09.77 sent somebody to a house I had somebody on the street 00:20:09.80\00:20:13.37 holding some marijuana for me 00:20:13.40\00:20:16.73 and keeping some money for me and-- 00:20:16.76\00:20:19.38 so he sent his brother over there with the wire on 00:20:19.41\00:20:22.31 and end up setting me up 00:20:22.34\00:20:23.71 and I was arrested from the prison 00:20:23.74\00:20:25.20 selling marijuana on the street from inside. 00:20:25.23\00:20:28.88 So I ended up getting arrested for all that 00:20:28.91\00:20:30.88 and they filled a breach on me 00:20:30.91\00:20:32.38 and since I would not corporate with them 00:20:32.41\00:20:34.95 because you know I was hardheaded 00:20:34.98\00:20:36.40 and that's just the way 00:20:36.43\00:20:38.19 I lived my life, you know, was it. 00:20:38.22\00:20:40.87 I felt like if you do the time, you know, you pay, 00:20:40.90\00:20:45.01 you know, if you do the time you do the crime, 00:20:45.04\00:20:47.56 you know, I mean if you do the crime, 00:20:47.59\00:20:49.28 you do the time, excuse me. 00:20:49.31\00:20:50.68 So you're just saying to them, 00:20:50.71\00:20:52.10 you know, we don't have to play here 00:20:52.13\00:20:53.84 just tell me how much time I have. 00:20:53.87\00:20:55.89 Right, just tell me what I got to do, 00:20:55.92\00:20:57.92 so I am not getting nobody else involved. 00:20:57.95\00:20:59.57 I am not ruining their life and that's pretty much what I did. 00:20:59.60\00:21:03.73 How much time did they give you for that? 00:21:03.76\00:21:05.33 I ended up getting another 20 year sentence 00:21:05.36\00:21:08.48 added on to the other 16 that I already had. 00:21:08.51\00:21:12.17 And so during this time I was just a miserable mess, 00:21:12.20\00:21:18.07 you know, I fought my case for three years. 00:21:18.10\00:21:21.23 I gave the lawyer right around $30,000 00:21:21.26\00:21:24.18 and he was supposed to work this all out 00:21:24.21\00:21:26.26 and I thought man I got it under control, 00:21:26.29\00:21:28.26 I'm gonna be out here soon 00:21:28.29\00:21:29.66 'cause I was about ready to go home 00:21:29.69\00:21:31.63 and I was rearrested, you know, got charges inside, 00:21:31.66\00:21:35.17 you know, for trafficking, and you know LSD 00:21:35.20\00:21:38.73 and that's a serious offence 00:21:38.76\00:21:40.13 and habitual and the marijuana deals, you know. 00:21:40.16\00:21:42.97 So anyway I'm ready to go home, my family is all excited. 00:21:43.00\00:21:46.36 I don't make it home 00:21:46.39\00:21:47.76 I ended up getting more time when I started with. 00:21:47.79\00:21:49.97 So anyway-- Twenty years? 00:21:50.00\00:21:52.05 Yes I got another 20 years sentence. 00:21:52.08\00:21:53.45 That's a long time. 00:21:53.48\00:21:55.00 Yes, but the thing is all that just sound so bad 00:21:55.03\00:21:57.94 and so terrible and you know it is. 00:21:57.97\00:22:00.36 You know because I let myself get into that mindset 00:22:00.39\00:22:04.66 that this is what I'm gonna do get high 00:22:04.69\00:22:06.75 and I didn't focused on nothing else. 00:22:06.78\00:22:08.66 But the thing about it is man the Lord turned that all around 00:22:08.69\00:22:12.52 because I wasn't trying to serve the Lord. 00:22:12.55\00:22:14.13 I wasn't, you know, I wasn't about the Lord. 00:22:14.16\00:22:16.13 That was the last thing on your mind? 00:22:16.16\00:22:17.53 Yeah, I didn't think about, I'll get with him later. 00:22:17.56\00:22:19.65 I'm getting high right now. Man, I'm having fun. 00:22:19.68\00:22:21.90 I only live once so let's do this right. 00:22:21.93\00:22:23.78 This is me, you know, and that was my mindset 00:22:23.81\00:22:28.10 and I got in trouble 00:22:28.13\00:22:29.50 and you know I was moved from this lock up to that lock up 00:22:29.53\00:22:32.89 and I just spend a lot of time not only the 20 years I got 00:22:32.92\00:22:36.62 but also had to loose all my privileges. 00:22:36.65\00:22:39.14 You know, I had to visit 00:22:39.17\00:22:40.54 through a little glass on a phone chain down like a dog, 00:22:40.57\00:22:43.54 you know, looking through my people if I got to visit 00:22:43.57\00:22:45.72 which my people blessed me with visits. 00:22:45.75\00:22:48.42 And everything was taking away from me you know, 00:22:48.45\00:22:51.38 and I lost time inside the prison also 00:22:51.41\00:22:53.74 because they got a time class. 00:22:53.77\00:22:55.83 Anyway I lost time there and then I had to go lock up. 00:22:55.86\00:22:58.18 I got a couple of years in lock up you know-- 00:22:58.21\00:23:02.33 I love Buddy, because I know that you're still in your mind 00:23:02.36\00:23:05.33 and initially trying to hustle it trying to play it. 00:23:05.36\00:23:07.69 Okay, what I do now, I'm like locked down, 00:23:07.72\00:23:09.82 I'm on the phone, I got glass, 00:23:09.85\00:23:11.45 but you're still in your mind trying to go to 00:23:11.48\00:23:14.22 how am I gonna deal with all this. 00:23:14.25\00:23:16.08 Right and that was my mind is thinking, 00:23:16.11\00:23:19.16 you know, I am gonna make it out of sudden 00:23:19.19\00:23:21.59 it's gonna work out you know I had it all plan. 00:23:21.62\00:23:23.96 Give him all this money man my lawyer is good, 00:23:23.99\00:23:26.29 handle this isn't a big deal. 00:23:26.32\00:23:27.89 I am cool, I'll keep my mouth shut, man. 00:23:27.92\00:23:30.16 Just whatever I got to do, let's do it. 00:23:30.19\00:23:32.16 And there it didn't worked out like I planned. 00:23:32.19\00:23:33.78 My lawyer kind of worked against me 00:23:33.81\00:23:36.21 and I was supposed to not get much time with all that money 00:23:36.24\00:23:39.44 you know public defender could have got me better than that. 00:23:39.47\00:23:42.36 So he worked against me 00:23:42.39\00:23:43.76 and I ended up getting 20 year sentence 00:23:43.79\00:23:45.31 and then they took everything from me. 00:23:45.34\00:23:47.47 And I decided, you know, the same work 00:23:47.50\00:23:51.08 and this lifestyle I'm living is not fun, 00:23:51.11\00:23:53.23 it's not what I thought is gonna be. 00:23:53.26\00:23:54.63 I want to change my way, 00:23:54.66\00:23:56.03 but man, this is kind of tough here and I'm miserable. 00:23:56.06\00:23:58.76 And the Lord had been dwelling with me 00:23:58.79\00:24:00.25 because I was raised in church. 00:24:00.28\00:24:01.65 Remember from 8-years-old now, 00:24:01.68\00:24:03.52 you know, I was raised in church so I rebelled in, 00:24:03.55\00:24:05.88 you know, going on my way. 00:24:05.91\00:24:07.28 Because I was just thinking as you're talking 00:24:07.31\00:24:08.68 as what is God gonna do to get through to you? 00:24:08.71\00:24:11.29 Right and my mother is there praying 00:24:11.32\00:24:13.76 and I got tons people praying and so the Lord was in control. 00:24:13.79\00:24:16.86 You know He was gonna work it out, 00:24:16.89\00:24:18.36 you know, but I was hardheaded 00:24:18.39\00:24:19.76 and I had to go this route and that route. 00:24:19.79\00:24:22.07 But, man, He had a plan, you know, He had plan for me. 00:24:22.10\00:24:25.15 And so I ended up lost all my privileges like I said, 00:24:25.18\00:24:29.13 I moved from this place to that place 00:24:29.16\00:24:30.86 all the maximum-security places and, 00:24:30.89\00:24:33.53 you know, then one day they just told me to pack my stuff 00:24:33.56\00:24:37.94 and you know I said where am I going they wouldn't tell me 00:24:37.97\00:24:41.04 and I ended up getting moved all the way to Virginia. 00:24:41.07\00:24:44.37 I was about is over by Richmond Virginia, they took me there. 00:24:44.40\00:24:48.62 And you know they just took me 00:24:48.65\00:24:51.01 and moved me up all the prison 00:24:51.04\00:24:52.71 just called interstate compact 00:24:52.74\00:24:54.29 and took me to Virginia, up haul a whole system 00:24:54.32\00:24:57.28 because they said that they wanted to through me off guard 00:24:57.31\00:25:00.36 is what the words they use. 00:25:00.39\00:25:02.12 Because they thought I was still hustling all this 00:25:02.15\00:25:04.63 and doing all this and so they wanted to 00:25:04.66\00:25:07.28 and there was you know they took it personal 00:25:07.31\00:25:09.93 because I wouldn't cooperate 00:25:09.96\00:25:11.33 and so they had move me so I go there 00:25:11.36\00:25:13.59 and I lose all my privileges again. 00:25:13.62\00:25:15.25 You know on the maximum-security. 00:25:15.28\00:25:16.65 Didn't know anybody? 00:25:16.68\00:25:18.05 Don't know nobody, but that's what I needed. 00:25:18.08\00:25:20.09 I needed to get away to works 00:25:20.12\00:25:21.56 because I thought I had to be somebody. 00:25:21.59\00:25:23.36 I thought I had to be cool and I had to hold this reputation. 00:25:23.39\00:25:27.30 But when I got to get away from everybody, 00:25:27.33\00:25:30.02 you know, I'm in a solitary cell 00:25:30.05\00:25:32.15 just with nobody around that I know 00:25:32.18\00:25:34.34 and just got to spend a lot of time to sit and think, 00:25:34.37\00:25:37.29 you know, and say man, this is what I want. 00:25:37.32\00:25:39.87 So they took me to super-max prison there at Level 6 00:25:39.90\00:25:43.02 and they're standing there with guns, 00:25:43.05\00:25:44.86 you know and shooting big rubber bullets 00:25:44.89\00:25:46.62 and these little pellets and I'm around all these people. 00:25:46.65\00:25:49.27 They brought all the lifers 00:25:49.30\00:25:50.67 because they blew a big hole out the mountain 00:25:50.70\00:25:53.22 and put this two super-max prisons there 00:25:53.25\00:25:55.93 and took all their lifers out there prison 00:25:55.96\00:25:58.39 and put them in there and-- 00:25:58.42\00:25:59.98 So just said even if you break out 00:26:00.01\00:26:01.83 you just gonna run into a mountain. 00:26:01.86\00:26:03.65 Yeah we're way up in the mountains, 00:26:03.68\00:26:05.05 miles up you know and always hill police, 00:26:05.08\00:26:08.39 you know, down there and they were just opening up this prison 00:26:08.42\00:26:11.74 and they are serious, you know. 00:26:11.77\00:26:13.14 And so here I am. 00:26:13.17\00:26:14.58 I happen to get sent from Indiana 00:26:14.61\00:26:17.07 to there right when they open up these prisons 00:26:17.10\00:26:19.71 and so they raise the point levels, 00:26:19.74\00:26:22.08 you know, because you got it by point system. 00:26:22.11\00:26:24.44 If you got more points more trouble, 00:26:24.47\00:26:26.73 then you go to higher level prison. 00:26:26.76\00:26:28.85 So I just hit at that wrong time. 00:26:28.88\00:26:31.13 You know I got there and they open this up 00:26:31.16\00:26:32.72 they want to fill them up, so they raise the point level. 00:26:32.75\00:26:35.90 You know, so with all my trouble it raised my points 00:26:35.93\00:26:39.09 and it send me to Level 6 super-max prison. 00:26:39.12\00:26:42.20 And while I was there though the Lord knew all the time, 00:26:42.23\00:26:45.30 He knew what He had in mind. 00:26:45.33\00:26:47.57 And when I got there, I was in miserable mess 00:26:47.60\00:26:49.75 you know the buddy above me my guy above me had 3,000 years. 00:26:49.78\00:26:55.00 You know, and guys around me they just had so many years 00:26:55.03\00:26:57.26 and here I am you know little teddy bear, 00:26:57.29\00:26:59.90 you know I got you know I am not real bad person, 00:26:59.93\00:27:03.47 I'm just trying to get high. 00:27:03.50\00:27:05.11 You know, I am just want to get high and that's what, 00:27:05.14\00:27:07.05 that's all I want to do you know, so here I am 00:27:07.08\00:27:10.20 and man, I had to do a lot of thinking while I was there. 00:27:10.23\00:27:12.86 And I looked around, I said is this what I want? 00:27:12.89\00:27:15.39 Because this is my not future, if I can continue to hustle 00:27:15.42\00:27:18.99 because I go full force when I do something 00:27:19.02\00:27:21.70 and I thought real hard about. 00:27:21.73\00:27:24.11 Lord was dealing with me 00:27:24.14\00:27:25.51 and man, I just been, I broke down 00:27:25.54\00:27:27.74 while I was there after I was there while about nine months. 00:27:27.77\00:27:30.95 Man, I just said, Lord here you got me. 00:27:30.98\00:27:33.24 You got me, man, you got me, I give. 00:27:33.27\00:27:35.93 And you know to that is a huge moment 00:27:35.96\00:27:38.67 because everything led up to that moment as I am broken, 00:27:38.70\00:27:43.55 I am done, I can't even carry this anymore. 00:27:43.58\00:27:46.47 I don't want to and I don't want this to be my life. 00:27:46.50\00:27:48.84 Right hunting piece and Lord is-- 00:27:48.87\00:27:51.94 You know, if you went to anywhere else 00:27:51.97\00:27:53.80 on the planet other than God. 00:27:53.83\00:27:56.79 They would say so I am so sorry but you got pay your time 00:27:56.82\00:28:01.69 you know that for everything that you did 00:28:01.72\00:28:04.97 but God doesn't do that to us. 00:28:05.00\00:28:06.71 It just an amazing thing is all of the sudden we turn to God 00:28:06.74\00:28:10.31 and what we get from God is 00:28:10.34\00:28:12.15 I am so glad that you have turn it over to me. 00:28:12.18\00:28:17.33 I love you and we'll be okay. 00:28:17.36\00:28:20.63 That's right and I needed Him at that time. 00:28:20.66\00:28:23.71 I was there, didn't know nobody, way away from home 00:28:23.74\00:28:26.95 and I was just-- I was at the end 00:28:26.98\00:28:29.84 you know, I said, man I got to do something. 00:28:29.87\00:28:32.20 Because I could have kept going 00:28:32.23\00:28:33.78 but where was I gonna go 00:28:33.81\00:28:35.28 how much further down can you go you know. 00:28:35.31\00:28:38.62 I'll never make it home or I'll die. 00:28:38.65\00:28:40.45 People when they were in ordeal and dying 00:28:40.48\00:28:42.27 and I am thinking man, that's next for me. 00:28:42.30\00:28:44.34 That is next and I knew it. 00:28:44.37\00:28:46.34 We're gonna take a break 00:28:46.37\00:28:47.85 because I know you brought a friend with you. 00:28:47.88\00:28:50.33 Yes. Also had a similar story. 00:28:50.36\00:28:53.65 I want to hear what Bryan has to say 00:28:53.68\00:28:57.07 and then I want to hear what you guys did with your journey 00:28:57.10\00:29:00.19 after you surrendered to God. 00:29:00.22\00:29:01.97 What does God do next 00:29:02.00\00:29:03.46 because right now it sounds little hopeless. 00:29:03.49\00:29:05.67 You're in a cell, maximum-security prison Level 6. 00:29:05.70\00:29:09.90 What does God do? 00:29:09.93\00:29:11.30 And what's amazing to me about what God does 00:29:11.33\00:29:14.30 as He steps in and changes everything 00:29:14.33\00:29:17.46 even when it appears incredibly hopeless. 00:29:17.49\00:29:20.12 So we will be right back, stay with us. 00:29:20.15\00:29:22.35