The following program
discusses sensitive issues
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related to addictive behavior.
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Parents are
cautioned that some material
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may be too candid
for younger children.
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Welcome to
"Celebrating Life in Recovery."
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Today, I'm gonna introduce
you to my friend Casey.
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He spent 24 years
of his life in prison
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and he is a big
guy, full of anger.
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And now he is working
for God. It's a cool story.
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So welcome back.
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We're talking
about, on this program,
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a part of recovery that
a lot of people don't cover
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'cause, you know, and
I've said this before,
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I get off heroin and somebody
said, "You stop doing drugs
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and your life is
gonna be perfect."
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And so I
stopped. And I was crazy.
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You know I--you know, I'm
crazy. I don't know how to act.
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I don't know how
to be in relationship
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and I watched that time
and time and time again.
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You have people that--
you know, this whole series,
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this whole season is
about what hijacks you.
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And you have people
that have been hijacked
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with various addictions from
the time they were little kids,
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you know, some
pre-teens, some even,
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you know, in dysfunctional
homes and crazy environments.
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They've just learned,
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you know, distorted
thinking and addictive thinking,
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and they can't
really trust anything.
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And so when they start their
addictions, it's really early.
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It might just be television.
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It might be that
they escape into books.
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It might be that, you
know, they get into high risk,
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you know,
skateboarding or video games
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or entertainment
and then its drugs.
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Or may be it's just power stuff.
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You get into a gang and
you pull a gun the first time
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and you realize how
much power that gives you.
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The adrenaline's
up and it's seductive
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and so all of that kind of stuff
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happens early on
in someone's life.
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But then,
somebody convinces you,
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hopefully, God himself.
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You know, the Holy
Spirit convinces you,
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"You know, this isn't
life and you can do recovery."
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And you step in and your
expectations of stepping in
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is, "Once I get rid
of a few of these things,
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everything's good."
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I don't know even
how to communicate,
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how to socialize, how to be
with a group of normal people.
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You know, I don't
know how to sit there
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and have a friendship without,
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you know, let's go
smoke some weed or,
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you know, let's go do
some of that kind stuff.
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And so this
first part of recovery
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or the-- kind of the
first part of recovery
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and we've said about
even in the first season
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I talked about stopping a drug
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or an addiction is like
buying a ticket to a movie.
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It's not the movie,
it's just the ticket.
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Do you know what I mean?
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So when we stop,
it is just the ticket.
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When I step into the movie,
I'm gonna see the whole thing.
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When I step into my
life, I'm going to experience
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what this means
to actually change.
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And so the first
thing is that we realize is
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that we don't know
how to do relationships.
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We don't know how to do the day.
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I don't know how to time manage.
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I don't know how to, you know,
I don't know how to eat right.
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I don't know how to
even go to bed on time.
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"What do you mean I
have to go to bed now?"
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The rebel in me wakes up
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and says I go to bed
when I want to go to bed.
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Well, if you don't go to
bed, you're gonna be exhausted.
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Then you're gonna want
to do a lot of caffeine.
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Then you notice that your whole
addiction starts over again.
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So in recovery,
one of the things
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that is really important is
to find out what hijacked you.
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What addictions you
literally got lost in,
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what gave you a lot of pleasure,
what told you, you were okay,
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what comforted you 'cause
you got to get rid of those.
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And then there's that part of
your brain that brings comfort,
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it's really exhausted.
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And you got to
start teaching it.
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You got to start
teaching yourself,
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how to find pleasure or
comfort with normal things.
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You know,
sometimes, you know, we forget
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when you walk
out and sit outside,
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you can start listening
to the sounds around you
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and it's really cool, you know.
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I'm sitting there and
I'm not thinking about
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everything that
happened in the last 10 years.
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I'm not thinking
about how afraid I am
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'cause I can't do this recovery.
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I am listening to a
bird in the distance.
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I am feeling the sun on my skin.
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And that part of my brain
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that gives me
pleasure starts to heal
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and starts to say, "Hey,
this is really cool," you know.
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And those things
really seem simple
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but those simple things in
recovery are life changing.
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They mean everything.
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When I am with a friend
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and we're just
sitting there talking,
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I have to learn that
I don't need that high,
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that hyper
intensity in a relationship.
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I can actually just
kind of hang out with friends
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and talk about I can't
even say normal things.
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See the first part of recovery
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I don't know what
normal things are.
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Somebody would be
talking about their day
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and I am talking about the
first time I committed suicide.
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Yeah, that changes
the whole conversation.
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So it's like being able to
even learn those simple things.
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And it is a process
and what I love about God,
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you know, 'cause
we say in this program
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that one of the first steps
is to know you're powerless.
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I mean, you are
powerless. You cannot do this.
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If you could do it,
you would've done it.
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So you are powerless.
You turn it over to God.
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And I have to know
that God is big enough
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that He can teach me to
enjoy life on life's terms.
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What's really crazy too
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is that I am learning
all this kind of thing.
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I have to learn simpler
things. Get out and walk.
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That is the coolest
thing. Get out and walk.
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Don't think about
your day or your life
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or what you are
trying to recover from.
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Think about what's
happening around you.
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Listen to what's around you.
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Listen to the car go by,
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listen to the
wind, listen to birds,
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whatever but try to
get right in the present.
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And that's a really
hard thing for somebody,
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and addict of any kind to learn.
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It's just try to
be in your own skin
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and enjoy where you're at.
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In those pleasure centers
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that part of your
brain starts to heal itself.
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There is-- and a thing
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that happens in
life for normal people,
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they are really good
at this, I hate that.
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But there's a thing
that happened in life
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and life is kind of up and down.
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I mean, you know,
some days it's okay,
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some days it's not.
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You know, some days, everything
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that could go wrong
goes wrong, you know.
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And some days, it's all right.
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You know, the kids are behaving
or, you know, my job is okay.
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You know, the people
that I need to talk to,
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answer the phone
and get back to me,
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all those kind of things.
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But that doesn't
happen every day.
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Some days none of that happens.
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But for an addict,
when that doesn't happen,
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we think something is horribly
wrong and we need to use.
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You know, I need to drink again
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or I need to get
online and do some porn stuff
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or I need to smoke some weed or,
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you know, I start fantasizing
about the old lifestyle
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but I think of
those normal life,
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the normal things that come
up that are a little harder,
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I think about them as
triggers for me to use.
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And what I need to do
in that part of recovery
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after I stop the addiction
is I need to learn that,
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that's just everyday life.
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Everybody deals with that stuff.
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And I got to get tools
to deal with that stuff.
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When I can't pay
the bill that month,
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you know, that
happens to a lot of people
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and not everybody
slams heroin because of that.
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You know, I would do
that. I would go and use.
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And so now I have
to learn what do you do
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when you are stressed,
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when it's a real
issue and it hits me?
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I have to have at
least 5 to 10 things
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that I learn to do so
that I'm not going to use.
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When somebody gets in my face,
if I have a power addiction
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and I'm trying to
learn to be in a relationship
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and give somebody
the respect they need,
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it's hard to do,
'cause I want them to shut up
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and listen to me.
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I just-- if you just shut up,
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you will know what I'm saying.
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Well, that's not
how to communicate.
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But I have to
learn how to communicate.
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And I have to
learn that it might be
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easier for me to know that,
that person is not being heard
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because they keep
repeating themselves
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so they're not feeling
heard and I need to ask him,
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"What are you saying
exactly 'cause may be
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I'm not understanding
what you are saying?"
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And that's really tough for
somebody with a power addiction.
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But I'm gonna learn all
of those kind of things.
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And I'm telling
you God is just amazing
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at the ability that He
has to give us those tools.
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And we get those tools
either by joining a group.
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That's the
coolest place to get them.
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'Cause if I'm in a
group and I tell the group,
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"You know what? I have a
heard time with listening."
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I think my husband would
love me to join that group.
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But I've have a
heard time with listening
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and the group will
hold me accountable.
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If I get an accountability
partner that I can call and say,
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"You know what? I am
afraid a lot of the time.
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Or I am angry a
lot of the time."
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And so you kind of
start to get people
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that you can call or work with
00:09:04.44\00:09:05.91
or somebody that
would give you some feedback
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but all of that's important
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because you have
to pretend right now
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that you are like
a baby on a tricycle.
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You can't even get a bike yet
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because you don't
know how to ride a bike.
00:09:16.07\00:09:17.78
And that's
really tough for addicts
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because we've bee taking
care of ourselves a long time
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but all in this addictive way.
00:09:22.18\00:09:24.25
And I want to say good on
you that you survived that.
00:09:24.28\00:09:26.78
But now you got to
learn some different things.
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There's gonna be a
day and I loved this part
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'cause it was a day
when all of the sudden
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I realize that you know what?
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I think I am over that,
00:09:35.28\00:09:38.05
having to operate in my
life in this addictive thinking,
00:09:38.08\00:09:40.83
in this crisis mode or whatever.
00:09:40.86\00:09:42.91
And now I am actually
enjoying relationships
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and the sun and normal hobbies
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and normal kind of
crisis and I can deal with that.
00:09:49.84\00:09:53.11
And I have the tools
to deal with all of that.
00:09:53.14\00:09:56.27
But all of that takes time.
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It takes a lot, you know, well,
I shouldn't say a lot of time.
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For me it took a lot of time
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just 'cause I
had so many issues.
00:10:02.56\00:10:04.27
For you, it may not take as much
00:10:04.30\00:10:05.94
but give yourself the time
00:10:05.97\00:10:08.04
that you need in order
to learn how to communicate.
00:10:08.07\00:10:11.88
Get books, get
sponsors, jump in a group,
00:10:11.91\00:10:15.12
ask God daily, "Fill me
up with Your Holy Spirit
00:10:15.15\00:10:17.89
and teach me today
what I need to learn."
00:10:17.92\00:10:20.19
And He is so
gracious to do that.
00:10:20.22\00:10:23.32
As you do that,
the biggest thing
00:10:23.35\00:10:25.24
that you got to know is there's
not that outward changes that,
00:10:25.27\00:10:29.06
you know, as soon as
you get off the drug,
00:10:29.09\00:10:31.25
you get these huge
changes in your life.
00:10:31.28\00:10:33.82
I mean, your body starts
to kind of get reestablish.
00:10:33.85\00:10:38.00
Your health may come back.
00:10:38.03\00:10:39.66
People start trusting
you. You're making amends.
00:10:39.69\00:10:41.94
You're doing all
that kind of stuff
00:10:41.97\00:10:43.34
that you need
to do as an addict.
00:10:43.37\00:10:44.74
And you're working on that.
00:10:44.77\00:10:46.14
But in this part of
your recovery learning
00:10:46.17\00:10:48.71
how to be
normal, the daily stuff.
00:10:48.74\00:10:51.45
What happens is
stuff that you can't see.
00:10:51.48\00:10:54.05
Your neurochemistry
starts to reestablish itself.
00:10:54.08\00:10:57.53
Your pleasure
center starts to learn
00:10:57.56\00:11:00.15
how to find pleasure and
comfort with normal things.
00:11:00.18\00:11:04.17
I don't have to
over stimulate my brain.
00:11:04.20\00:11:06.89
I'm using my frontal lobes.
00:11:06.92\00:11:08.64
None of those kind
of things you can see
00:11:08.67\00:11:10.22
but it all
happens during this part.
00:11:10.25\00:11:13.32
You know, somebody asked me
00:11:13.35\00:11:15.02
and I hate to even tell you this
00:11:15.05\00:11:16.59
but they were having
some real struggles with--
00:11:16.62\00:11:19.89
now how do you say
this in a nice way?
00:11:19.92\00:11:21.82
Some kind of sexual
stuff, I'll just say that way.
00:11:21.85\00:11:24.32
And so they asked
me, "What do I do?
00:11:24.35\00:11:27.00
I'm really struggling."
00:11:27.03\00:11:28.52
And, you know,
that guy is in ministry
00:11:28.55\00:11:30.03
and he's got this long history.
00:11:30.06\00:11:31.71
He's dealt with
a lot of this stuff
00:11:31.74\00:11:33.29
and he still has
this sexual issue.
00:11:33.32\00:11:35.18
And so I
immediately prayed, "God,
00:11:35.21\00:11:36.88
what do I tell him?"
00:11:36.91\00:11:38.28
And a stupid thing came to
my mind, it was just crazy.
00:11:38.31\00:11:41.08
God said, "Tell him to
make his bed every day."
00:11:41.11\00:11:44.17
And I'm like, "What?"
00:11:44.20\00:11:46.07
You know, he's talking
about his sexual addiction.
00:11:46.10\00:11:48.42
He's talking about, "You know,
this has got me wrapped up.
00:11:48.45\00:11:51.77
I feel like a fraud. I
don't even know what to do."
00:11:51.80\00:11:54.43
And God said,
"Tell him to go to bed.
00:11:54.46\00:11:56.15
At the same time, get up
every day and make his bed."
00:11:56.18\00:11:59.35
Any kind of disciplined behavior
00:11:59.38\00:12:01.38
where you start to get
used to disciplining yourself,
00:12:01.41\00:12:05.05
don't try it with
your major addictions
00:12:05.08\00:12:07.40
'cause you may not be successful
there but make your bed.
00:12:07.43\00:12:10.41
I mean, that's a
simple one to start
00:12:10.44\00:12:12.07
but it will teach
you to be disciplined
00:12:12.10\00:12:14.97
and how ridiculous is that?
00:12:15.00\00:12:17.54
But I'm telling you, if
you are out there watching
00:12:17.57\00:12:19.39
and you are
struggling, make your bed.
00:12:19.42\00:12:22.71
Everything matters right now.
00:12:22.74\00:12:24.51
Everything matters at
this stage and learn--
00:12:24.54\00:12:27.39
allow yourself to learn
to do the little things.
00:12:27.42\00:12:31.13
And pretty soon,
the little things
00:12:31.16\00:12:33.08
will bring you
comfort and pleasure.
00:12:33.11\00:12:35.12
And you won't have to
run to your addictions.
00:12:35.15\00:12:37.72
And it happens over time
00:12:37.75\00:12:39.94
and God is amazing as
He allows that to happen.
00:12:39.97\00:12:43.61
And it feels good.
00:12:43.64\00:12:45.01
So when it starts to--
when you start to notice it
00:12:45.04\00:12:49.10
and you feel good in your
own skin, man, it's awesome.
00:12:49.13\00:12:53.17
We're gonna take a break.
00:12:53.20\00:12:54.57
I'm gonna introduce you
to our guest, unbelievable.
00:12:54.60\00:12:57.40
I thought I saw a lot,
00:12:57.43\00:12:59.19
this guy, he's over
the top. Stay with us.
00:12:59.22\00:13:01.88