The following program
discusses sensitive issues
00:00:01.40\00:00:03.33
related to addictive behavior.
00:00:03.36\00:00:05.02
Parents are
cautioned that some material
00:00:05.05\00:00:06.86
may be too candid
for younger children.
00:00:06.89\00:00:09.06
Welcome back.
00:00:14.90\00:00:16.61
You know what was amazing to me,
00:00:16.64\00:00:18.27
we're listening to everything
00:00:18.30\00:00:19.67
that like Gayle
had to say about,
00:00:19.70\00:00:21.24
you know, reactive
disorders and attachment
00:00:21.27\00:00:23.58
and all that kind of stuff
00:00:23.61\00:00:24.98
and what was
amazing to me is that for me
00:00:25.01\00:00:28.49
because I had all that is I
just wanted someone to tell me
00:00:28.52\00:00:32.11
that I could learn
something different
00:00:32.14\00:00:34.03
and I could walk away from that.
00:00:34.06\00:00:35.94
So we're gonna meet everybody
that's at Miracle Meadows.
00:00:35.97\00:00:39.69
You've been there for how long?
00:00:39.72\00:00:41.37
About 8 1/2 months.
00:00:41.40\00:00:43.21
8 1/2 months. And
tell us your name.
00:00:43.24\00:00:45.58
What brought you there?
And what you're learning there?
00:00:45.61\00:00:48.19
Okay, my name is Jill
00:00:48.22\00:00:49.71
and basically what
brought me to Miracle Meadows
00:00:49.74\00:00:52.52
is that I just didn't
know what I wanted to do.
00:00:52.55\00:00:54.73
If I wanted to do
drugs I did drugs.
00:00:54.76\00:00:57.01
It started off my real dad
wasn't really in the picture
00:00:57.04\00:00:59.47
when I was younger
and my mom got remarried.
00:00:59.50\00:01:02.32
So he left how old were you?
00:01:02.35\00:01:04.35
Well, basically
before I was born. Okay.
00:01:04.38\00:01:06.67
My mother divorced him.
00:01:06.70\00:01:08.42
And she got
remarried when I was six.
00:01:08.45\00:01:11.30
And so that was when
everything really started out.
00:01:11.33\00:01:13.18
I was like, well,
who are you to come here
00:01:13.21\00:01:14.75
and try to tell me what to do.
00:01:14.78\00:01:16.44
Yeah. Like, goodbye.
00:01:16.47\00:01:18.57
And I started to
rebel against him
00:01:18.60\00:01:21.78
and while I was also rebelling
00:01:21.81\00:01:24.01
against my mom at the same time.
00:01:24.04\00:01:25.92
And when I started to get older
I started to find more ways
00:01:25.95\00:01:28.72
to cope with how I was
angry and how I was heard
00:01:28.75\00:01:31.09
because my real dad
wasn't in the picture.
00:01:31.12\00:01:33.91
And I started to do drugs.
00:01:33.94\00:01:35.69
I experimented with
pills and I moved on.
00:01:35.72\00:01:37.40
So in--in--like, I started
doing drugs when I was like 12.
00:01:37.43\00:01:41.46
What age were you?
I was about 12. Okay.
00:01:41.49\00:01:43.72
Because a lot of people
look at little 12-year-olds
00:01:43.75\00:01:45.84
and they think "no way, they're
not doing that." Well, yeah.
00:01:45.87\00:01:49.77
Then it was more about myself.
00:01:49.80\00:01:51.17
When I was 12 and 13 I
started to do drug myself.
00:01:51.20\00:01:53.85
And as I got older
and I went to high school,
00:01:53.88\00:01:55.71
I started to find other
people to do drugs with.
00:01:55.74\00:01:57.51
What worked about drugs?
00:01:57.54\00:01:59.29
I mean, when you first
did drugs why did it work?
00:01:59.32\00:02:01.02
Oh, it took the pain
away. I didn't feel anything.
00:02:01.05\00:02:03.58
Yeah. You could relax.
You didn't feel so angry.
00:02:03.61\00:02:06.61
Yeah, I didn't
feel anxious either.
00:02:06.64\00:02:08.57
And I was just--
I was just laidback.
00:02:08.60\00:02:12.69
I didn't have to
worry about anything.
00:02:12.72\00:02:14.10
You liked yourself better.
00:02:14.13\00:02:15.50
Yes. And I felt
more comfortable. Yeah.
00:02:15.53\00:02:18.47
And from there I started
to smoke and smoke cigarettes
00:02:18.50\00:02:23.86
and drink and
progress into going to party,
00:02:23.89\00:02:27.78
start partying hard
and not come home at night.
00:02:27.81\00:02:31.24
Come home at 2 o'
clock in the morning
00:02:31.27\00:02:32.64
when I was supposed
to be home at 11:00.
00:02:32.67\00:02:34.61
And I'd be like,
well, I don't care.
00:02:34.64\00:02:36.01
I can do what I want.
00:02:36.04\00:02:37.41
Don't tell me what to do.
00:02:37.44\00:02:38.81
Yeah. Who are you? Yeah.
00:02:38.84\00:02:40.48
And I just-- I rebelled.
00:02:40.51\00:02:42.43
I got piercings, I got tattoos
just because my parents said no,
00:02:42.46\00:02:47.06
you can't have it.
00:02:47.09\00:02:48.46
Look, look how sweet you look.
00:02:48.49\00:02:49.90
I can't even imagine that
because I'm looking at you
00:02:49.93\00:02:53.13
and I'm thinking,
you know, you look,
00:02:53.16\00:02:55.42
you know, calm and you look like
00:02:55.45\00:02:56.82
you like being in your own skin.
00:02:56.85\00:02:58.22
So you come to Miracle Meadows
through all that rebellion.
00:02:58.25\00:03:01.59
Did they--did they
tell you, you were coming?
00:03:01.62\00:03:03.72
No. They told me I was going
to go visit a family member.
00:03:03.75\00:03:06.85
And I was
knocked out in the car.
00:03:06.88\00:03:08.77
And when I woke
up in West Virginia,
00:03:08.80\00:03:10.59
I was like, wait,
West Virginia isn't close
00:03:10.62\00:03:13.03
to where we were
supposed to be going.
00:03:13.06\00:03:14.69
Well, don't you
know your geography?
00:03:14.72\00:03:16.48
It's a state over, you'rve
supposed to go to Pennsylvania.
00:03:16.51\00:03:19.70
And I was like, wow,
that was when it hit me.
00:03:19.73\00:03:22.07
I was like, wow, I messed
up and they're sending me away.
00:03:22.10\00:03:24.79
And as soon as I pulled up
I saw Miracle Meadows School.
00:03:24.82\00:03:27.47
You knew. And I
just started to cry.
00:03:27.50\00:03:30.26
That's all I could
do. I could just cry.
00:03:30.29\00:03:32.23
You know and I think that that
00:03:32.26\00:03:33.63
because you talked about
abandonment issues with dad
00:03:33.66\00:03:35.95
and now you're
coming to a school,
00:03:35.98\00:03:37.35
even though people
are bringing you there
00:03:37.38\00:03:38.95
to get help it
still must have felt like
00:03:38.98\00:03:41.01
you were being abandoned.
00:03:41.04\00:03:42.41
Oh, yes. I was so hurt.
00:03:42.44\00:03:43.81
I said "you're leaving me here
00:03:43.84\00:03:45.21
with people you
don't know." Yeah.
00:03:45.24\00:03:46.63
I don't know them.
You don't know them.
00:03:46.66\00:03:48.52
And so how long did it take you
00:03:48.55\00:03:51.66
to start to even
look at this program
00:03:51.69\00:03:55.20
or get involved in this program?
00:03:55.23\00:03:56.83
Well, I'd been in other
programs before so I knew
00:03:56.86\00:03:59.29
a lot of what I
should have been doing.
00:03:59.32\00:04:00.80
I just wasn't doing it. Okay.
00:04:00.83\00:04:02.52
And so I started-- I
started to look and I said,
00:04:02.55\00:04:05.51
I already knew the 12 steps
00:04:05.54\00:04:07.24
because I participated in AA
00:04:07.27\00:04:09.41
for about a month or two. Okay.
00:04:09.44\00:04:11.05
And I started to look
and I started to go back
00:04:11.08\00:04:13.72
and I said "okay, this is
what I'm supposed to be doing.
00:04:13.75\00:04:17.12
And I was in a Christian family.
00:04:17.15\00:04:19.42
My parents were Baptist
and grandparents were Baptist.
00:04:19.45\00:04:22.25
So I was like
"Lord, is this what
00:04:22.28\00:04:23.97
I'm supposed to be doing
and I'm supposed to be here?
00:04:24.00\00:04:25.97
Yeah. So you even knew
that you could ask God. Yes.
00:04:26.00\00:04:29.82
Yeah. And what did
he say? He said, yes.
00:04:29.85\00:04:33.78
Exactly. Because you
know, even it's like,
00:04:33.81\00:04:36.46
you know, we have abandonment
00:04:36.49\00:04:38.28
and we have all
this kind of stuff
00:04:38.31\00:04:39.88
and we're so angry
and nothing's working
00:04:39.91\00:04:42.35
and now stepparents
and all that kind of stuff,
00:04:42.38\00:04:44.27
and it's nobody's fault
but it just doesn't work. Yeah.
00:04:44.30\00:04:47.07
And there's got to be a time
00:04:47.10\00:04:48.74
were all the
craziness comes to a hold.
00:04:48.77\00:04:52.67
And there's some hope that,
you know, I can get better.
00:04:52.70\00:04:55.63
Yeah. It's hard
especially being an addict,
00:04:55.66\00:04:59.57
going through all that.
00:04:59.60\00:05:00.97
It's very hard.
00:05:01.00\00:05:02.37
And so what works
at Miracle Meadows?
00:05:02.40\00:05:03.77
What are you learning?
00:05:03.80\00:05:05.17
Well, I'm starting to learn more
about the Adventist religion.
00:05:05.20\00:05:09.25
I didn't know
much about it before.
00:05:09.28\00:05:11.10
And I'm learning more
about the 3 Angel message,
00:05:11.13\00:05:14.04
the Sabbath and
everything like that.
00:05:14.07\00:05:16.05
And since I've
been at Miracle Meadows
00:05:16.08\00:05:17.67
I've lost two
important family members and--
00:05:17.70\00:05:22.08
While you were
in Miracle Meadows?
00:05:22.11\00:05:24.06
So you haven't seen--
00:05:24.09\00:05:25.74
you didn't get to see
them before they died?
00:05:25.77\00:05:27.37
I didn't--no, I did
not get to say goodbye.
00:05:27.40\00:05:28.77
I'm sorry. Um, but--
00:05:28.80\00:05:32.04
So did you work on your grief?
00:05:32.07\00:05:34.09
Yes, I didn't--
it hasn't hit as hard
00:05:34.12\00:05:38.87
because I've been
at Miracle Meadows
00:05:38.90\00:05:41.07
and I haven't really had
a chance to really sit there
00:05:41.10\00:05:44.03
and it hasn't
really hit as much. Yeah.
00:05:44.06\00:05:46.38
But it's a good process
because I have people around me
00:05:46.42\00:05:50.12
that know and that are helpful.
00:05:50.15\00:05:51.86
And they support you. Yes.
00:05:51.89\00:05:54.14
Okay, so besides religion,
00:05:54.17\00:05:57.03
what were you
learning spiritually,
00:05:57.06\00:05:58.43
how about with your anger
00:05:58.46\00:06:00.23
and with your abandonment
issues what are you learning?
00:06:00.26\00:06:02.88
Well, I learned
that my real dad,
00:06:02.91\00:06:04.88
it wasn't my fault. Yeah.
00:06:04.91\00:06:06.44
I'd always kind of
blame myself, like, he left me
00:06:06.47\00:06:09.60
because I did something,
00:06:09.63\00:06:11.12
because maybe I was conceived
00:06:11.15\00:06:14.40
and I was going to be
around or something like that.
00:06:14.43\00:06:17.57
You went in them.
00:06:17.60\00:06:18.97
Yeah. That I
wasn't enough. Yeah.
00:06:19.00\00:06:20.95
And I started to
tell-- also learned that
00:06:20.98\00:06:22.61
my step-dad really does love me.
00:06:22.64\00:06:24.82
And that he's-- I call him dad
00:06:24.85\00:06:26.86
and I really do call him
dad because he is my father.
00:06:26.89\00:06:29.14
And it wasn't his fault. Yes.
00:06:29.17\00:06:30.81
That your real dad left. Yes.
00:06:30.84\00:06:33.00
And I'm just-- I'm
starting to realize like,
00:06:33.03\00:06:36.09
everything happens for a reason.
00:06:36.12\00:06:37.86
And that I was brought--
00:06:37.89\00:06:40.01
the way I was brought
up might not have been
00:06:40.04\00:06:41.77
the best way to be brought up.
00:06:41.80\00:06:44.30
But everything--
there's a plan for everything
00:06:44.33\00:06:47.63
and there's a
reason for everything.
00:06:47.66\00:06:49.64
So you're learning to
really trust God. Yes.
00:06:49.67\00:06:51.94
And I may not understand that
reason but I trust you. Yeah.
00:06:51.97\00:06:55.33
Hell, yeah. How about things--
00:06:55.36\00:06:58.19
well, you know,
I'm gonna introduce
00:06:58.22\00:07:00.32
the folks to someone else as
I want to say, God bless you.
00:07:00.35\00:07:05.45
I think it's cool that
you're there and I know that,
00:07:05.48\00:07:07.90
you know, you could
probably be anywhere
00:07:07.93\00:07:09.30
but there would be better.
00:07:09.33\00:07:10.70
But, you know, you're
coming off your drugs,
00:07:10.73\00:07:12.10
you're dealing with anger
00:07:12.13\00:07:13.50
and you're starting to look at
your family in a healthier way
00:07:13.53\00:07:16.07
and I'm sure looking at
yourself in a healthier way
00:07:16.10\00:07:18.35
because when I first
met you one of the thing
00:07:18.38\00:07:20.54
that I thought was
really cool about you
00:07:20.57\00:07:22.77
is you really
present it well, you know.
00:07:22.80\00:07:25.70
You're just solid in
your presentation and stuff.
00:07:25.73\00:07:28.05
And I thought,
you know, I wonder
00:07:28.08\00:07:29.45
what she's
gonna do for a living.
00:07:29.48\00:07:31.60
What is gonna be your
passion. Do you have any idea?
00:07:31.63\00:07:35.62
I worked into
going to medical school
00:07:35.65\00:07:38.19
and law school like my mother.
00:07:38.22\00:07:40.41
Oh, yeah. But I don't know yet.
00:07:40.44\00:07:42.45
But you know what?
00:07:42.48\00:07:43.85
When I first met you,
that's the sense I got from you
00:07:43.88\00:07:46.03
is you're really
a solid individual
00:07:46.06\00:07:49.69
that wouldn't have
a hard time coming up
00:07:49.72\00:07:52.05
in front of somebody
and presenting something.
00:07:52.08\00:07:53.80
So law and that kind
of stuff would be perfect
00:07:53.83\00:07:56.03
and you can feel that.
00:07:56.06\00:07:57.43
So I can't wait
to see what happens
00:07:57.46\00:07:59.18
and good luck with
your program. Thank you.
00:07:59.21\00:08:01.02
Okay, thanks, Jill.
00:08:01.05\00:08:02.42
And now I'd like to
introduce you to Taalib.
00:08:02.45\00:08:05.59
Go head and come on now.
00:08:05.62\00:08:06.99
And I--when you first
started to share a little bit
00:08:07.02\00:08:10.64
about your background
I really related to you.
00:08:10.67\00:08:13.41
So I want you to say a
little bit about who you are,
00:08:13.44\00:08:19.47
what your name
is and who you are
00:08:19.50\00:08:21.28
and a little bit about
what you shared with me.
00:08:21.31\00:08:24.33
My name is
Taalib. I'm from New York.
00:08:24.36\00:08:26.90
And the reason I
came to Miracle Meadows
00:08:26.93\00:08:28.79
is because of my mom
wasn't able to trust me at home.
00:08:28.82\00:08:32.08
And I wouldn't do my
school because I was failing.
00:08:32.11\00:08:36.21
I was doing drugs. I was--
00:08:36.24\00:08:38.82
So totally rebelling. Yeah.
00:08:38.85\00:08:40.52
I'm not following any
kind of direction at home
00:08:40.55\00:08:47.21
and I'm not doing
schoolwork and I'm taking drugs
00:08:47.24\00:08:49.90
and I could care
less what you think. Yeah.
00:08:49.93\00:08:53.34
Okay, so that brought you there.
00:08:53.37\00:08:55.52
You told me--I'd
like you to talk about
00:08:55.55\00:08:57.82
from the very
beginning like you were born...
00:08:57.85\00:09:02.34
Yeah, I was born--when I
went to my adopted mother
00:09:02.37\00:09:06.93
I'd had to come straight
from the hospital for 2 weeks
00:09:06.96\00:09:09.87
from being
detoxicated from drugs
00:09:09.90\00:09:12.58
and I was taking
my biological parents.
00:09:12.61\00:09:15.27
And so to me I thought
00:09:15.30\00:09:16.67
that was you're
born strung out already.
00:09:16.70\00:09:20.06
So you were born
addicted to drugs
00:09:20.09\00:09:22.61
and dealing with detox
before you could speak,
00:09:22.64\00:09:25.82
before you could walk.
00:09:25.85\00:09:27.60
And I just so thought
when you told me that is
00:09:27.63\00:09:31.26
"man, a lot of people
don't have those issues
00:09:31.29\00:09:34.19
to walk into
their childhood with,
00:09:34.22\00:09:36.65
to walk in, you know,
into their life with."
00:09:36.68\00:09:39.81
And you had them
right from the beginning.
00:09:39.84\00:09:42.19
So you adopted--you
were adopted right away.
00:09:42.22\00:09:44.36
I was adopted at age 13. Okay.
00:09:44.39\00:09:46.48
So where did go when you
were-- from your bio mom?
00:09:46.51\00:09:49.77
Well, I lived
with my adopted mother
00:09:49.80\00:09:54.79
since I was 2 weeks old
00:09:54.82\00:09:56.30
and in for a year and a half
I lived with my grandmother.
00:09:56.33\00:09:59.01
And then I went to
court and they asked me
00:09:59.04\00:10:00.45
who I want to live with
and I said "my adopted mother."
00:10:00.48\00:10:03.62
Okay and then she adopted you.
00:10:03.65\00:10:05.02
She adopted me at age 13.
00:10:05.05\00:10:06.42
Okay but she's known you
since you were born, really.
00:10:06.45\00:10:09.24
Okay, so when you got
brought to Miracle Meadows
00:10:09.27\00:10:13.12
you were brought
because of all that
00:10:13.15\00:10:14.52
kind of rebellion
at your adopted mom.
00:10:14.55\00:10:16.98
And I'd steal from my mother
and I use her credit cards.
00:10:17.01\00:10:19.41
Okay. All kinds of stuff.
00:10:19.44\00:10:21.58
Totally out of control. Yeah.
00:10:21.61\00:10:24.02
Again, well, the same
thing when I looked at Jill.
00:10:24.05\00:10:26.83
I look at you and you
really do not look like,
00:10:26.86\00:10:30.87
you know, that kid
like you have that much--
00:10:30.90\00:10:32.84
that kind of anger in
you but you're saying I do.
00:10:32.87\00:10:35.49
I really have
that kind of anger.
00:10:35.52\00:10:36.98
So when you come
to Miracle Meadows
00:10:37.01\00:10:38.38
how long have you been there?
00:10:38.41\00:10:39.78
A year and two months. Okay.
00:10:39.81\00:10:41.58
What are you working on?
Mostly school work right now.
00:10:41.61\00:10:44.90
Okay. Didn't work on anger
or any of that kind of stuff?
00:10:44.93\00:10:48.24
Well, I don't blow
up as much as I used to
00:10:48.27\00:10:50.28
but when I first
went to Miracle Meadows
00:10:50.31\00:10:53.24
I had some issues.
00:10:53.27\00:10:54.64
Okay. So what worked? Why
don't you blow up as much?
00:10:54.67\00:10:59.34
Well, because if you be
active there, after a while
00:10:59.37\00:11:02.56
you start getting
tired of being there
00:11:02.59\00:11:04.65
so you just do
what you do to leave.
00:11:04.68\00:11:06.93
Okay, so do you feel like,
00:11:06.96\00:11:11.15
you know, like
what we were talking
00:11:11.18\00:11:14.18
about at the first
part of the program,
00:11:14.21\00:11:16.01
there's sometimes all that stuff
00:11:16.04\00:11:18.33
that we had
from little tiny kids
00:11:18.36\00:11:20.27
and even babies causes us to
have more difficulty in life.
00:11:20.30\00:11:25.24
Do you agree with that?
00:11:25.27\00:11:27.25
No? Yeah.
00:11:27.28\00:11:28.65
Yeah, and so do you believe
00:11:28.68\00:11:31.27
you can be re-taught
like what Gayle was saying,
00:11:31.30\00:11:34.32
I can learn what I
didn't learn as a kid,
00:11:34.35\00:11:38.25
like how to deal with
anger and all kind of stuff.
00:11:38.28\00:11:41.11
I so believe that.
00:11:41.14\00:11:42.68
I think that, you know, to me
00:11:42.71\00:11:44.08
I look at what
you had as an infant.
00:11:44.11\00:11:47.82
Did you ever
meet your birth mom?
00:11:47.85\00:11:49.97
I've seen my
birth mother once. Okay.
00:11:50.00\00:11:51.90
What's she like?
I don't remember.
00:11:51.93\00:11:54.03
Okay. I was five.
00:11:54.06\00:11:55.43
Okay. You were too little.
00:11:55.46\00:11:59.09
So when you, you know, when
you come back with all that,
00:11:59.12\00:12:03.80
the fact that you can
re-learn as far as anger
00:12:03.83\00:12:07.09
and being able to kind of fit in
00:12:07.12\00:12:10.78
because I don't know about you
00:12:10.81\00:12:12.18
but I never felt
like I fit in anywhere.
00:12:12.21\00:12:14.58
How did you feel about that?
00:12:14.61\00:12:15.98
Did you feel like you fit
in, you know, into your family,
00:12:16.01\00:12:19.24
into your school, into
your-- so you don't have that.
00:12:19.27\00:12:23.10
What kind of-- how
did you deal with anger?
00:12:23.13\00:12:25.09
Then, you know, when you said
00:12:25.12\00:12:26.49
I don't have the
anger that I had at first.
00:12:26.52\00:12:28.84
How did you deal with that?
00:12:28.87\00:12:30.26
When I first got
angry what did I do?
00:12:30.29\00:12:32.62
When you first got to
Miracle Meadows you were angry.
00:12:32.65\00:12:36.27
And now you're not as angry.
00:12:36.30\00:12:38.13
Did they do something
specifically to help you
00:12:38.16\00:12:40.23
to deal with your anger?
00:12:40.26\00:12:41.78
Well, they talked to me
00:12:41.81\00:12:43.18
and they told me
like how you can--
00:12:43.21\00:12:46.47
how it wouldn't be
easy in the real world.
00:12:46.50\00:12:48.16
In the real world
you can't just blow up
00:12:48.19\00:12:50.14
because then you lose
a lot of jobs like that.
00:12:50.17\00:12:51.92
So I took into consideration and
I listened to what they said.
00:12:51.95\00:12:54.69
And I started not
blowing up as much as I used to.
00:12:54.72\00:12:57.51
How about your drugs?
00:12:57.54\00:13:01.48
Are you not using because
you're at Miracle Meadows
00:13:01.51\00:13:03.61
or you're not using
because you really making
00:13:03.64\00:13:05.16
a decision not to use?
00:13:05.19\00:13:08.60
Kind of 50-50, I don't know.
00:13:08.63\00:13:10.00
Okay, and so my
prayer for you is that
00:13:10.03\00:13:12.30
it's gonna be 100% that
you realize you can't use.
00:13:12.33\00:13:15.20
Because you know
you were born an addict.
00:13:15.23\00:13:17.56
And anytime you sell
out you're gonna be more--
00:13:17.59\00:13:21.97
it's kind of in your blood
00:13:22.00\00:13:23.37
and you're gonna
be more tripped up
00:13:23.40\00:13:24.77
with drugs and alcohol
than somebody else would.
00:13:24.80\00:13:27.66
And so my prayer for you
00:13:27.69\00:13:29.35
before you leave
is that you get that.
00:13:29.38\00:13:32.07
Do anything else,
except for drugs and alcohol.
00:13:32.10\00:13:35.46
You know what I mean?
00:13:35.49\00:13:36.86
Just don't use.
00:13:36.89\00:13:39.37
Anything you want to
say about who you are
00:13:39.40\00:13:42.09
before I introduce the
group to someone else. No.
00:13:42.12\00:13:45.95
Okay, it was nice
meeting you. Thank you.
00:13:45.98\00:13:48.26
Okay, So I'd
like Aaron to come up.
00:13:48.29\00:13:51.07
And so it's interesting, Aaron,
00:13:56.22\00:13:57.69
when as we're meeting everybody
00:13:57.72\00:14:00.38
it seems like
everybody who's coming
00:14:00.41\00:14:02.00
or most people had
the story of coming
00:14:02.03\00:14:03.66
with rebellion
to Miracle Meadows.
00:14:03.69\00:14:07.05
Tell us who you
are, where you came from
00:14:07.08\00:14:09.98
and how you got
to Miracle Meadows.
00:14:10.01\00:14:11.92
Okay, so my name is Aaron and
I'm originally from New York.
00:14:11.95\00:14:17.30
I think my whole
anger problem started
00:14:17.33\00:14:20.42
which is why I'm
at Miracle Meadows.
00:14:20.45\00:14:21.82
Basically, when my
parents started to move
00:14:21.85\00:14:24.12
to West Virginia and, you know--
00:14:24.15\00:14:26.35
From New York. Yeah.
00:14:26.38\00:14:27.75
So big change in
where and how you lived.
00:14:27.78\00:14:29.65
Yeah so, I mean, we
moved to the suburbs
00:14:29.68\00:14:33.59
like kind of after
9/11 and everything.
00:14:33.62\00:14:36.26
But it was still kind of like
00:14:36.29\00:14:37.66
I was able to hang out
with friends and stuff.
00:14:37.69\00:14:39.23
And then we moved out to
in the middle of nowhere.
00:14:39.26\00:14:41.64
And like I don't have my
friends or anything, you know.
00:14:41.67\00:14:44.17
Like where are we?
00:14:44.20\00:14:45.71
And so I guess I was kind of
angry at my parents about that.
00:14:45.74\00:14:48.98
And after a while
like I couldn't just--
00:14:49.01\00:14:53.30
I guess sort of
through like my teenage years
00:14:53.33\00:14:55.78
I would get into arguments
00:14:55.81\00:14:57.18
with my brother and my
mom would get mad at me.
00:14:57.21\00:14:59.67
And then because my parents
were having martial problems,
00:14:59.70\00:15:02.23
my mom would sort
of take that out on me
00:15:02.26\00:15:04.36
and start to freak out.
00:15:04.39\00:15:05.76
That's a lot to handle. Yeah.
00:15:05.79\00:15:07.40
So a lot of your changes,
00:15:07.43\00:15:08.98
friends, moving out to
the country and having,
00:15:09.01\00:15:12.70
you know, family stuff and
you just respond to all that
00:15:12.73\00:15:17.86
with anger and
definitely rebellion.
00:15:17.89\00:15:20.59
So how did you get--
did they just say one day,
00:15:20.62\00:15:24.11
you know, we're gonna
take you to Miracle Meadows.
00:15:24.14\00:15:25.61
You're gonna go to that school.
00:15:25.64\00:15:28.87
Well, it kind of accelerated.
00:15:28.90\00:15:31.21
At first I would just
yell and curse my mom.
00:15:31.24\00:15:33.66
And afterwards feel
bad and apologize to her.
00:15:33.69\00:15:36.04
And then it would accelerate
00:15:36.07\00:15:37.44
and I wouldn't even apologize
00:15:37.47\00:15:38.84
and then after a while I would
get physical and punch walls.
00:15:38.87\00:15:42.43
So she knew that it
was getting worse? Yeah.
00:15:42.46\00:15:44.89
And eventually you
were gonna have big problems
00:15:44.92\00:15:47.51
if you didn't
deal with it. Mm-hmm.
00:15:47.54\00:15:49.27
And then one day, it
kind of got out of hand.
00:15:49.30\00:15:51.69
And so I ended
up grabbing a gun.
00:15:51.72\00:15:54.23
And so I got into
trouble with the law.
00:15:54.26\00:15:56.54
And so my parents
pounded me off to juvi
00:15:56.57\00:15:59.49
and then they sent
me to Miracle Meadows.
00:15:59.52\00:16:01.69
Okay, what do you
think of Miracle Meadows?
00:16:01.72\00:16:05.35
I think in some
ways, in a lot of ways
00:16:05.38\00:16:07.17
actually it's better
then being in the system.
00:16:07.20\00:16:10.96
So I think it's actually a
blessing sort of in disguise.
00:16:10.99\00:16:14.26
How long have you been there?
00:16:14.29\00:16:15.66
About 5 months.
Okay so 5 months.
00:16:15.69\00:16:18.51
What does your anger
feel like? Is it less?
00:16:18.54\00:16:21.57
Yeah, actually
I think it's less.
00:16:21.60\00:16:23.65
I mean, like Miracle
Meadows is not a perfect place
00:16:23.68\00:16:26.85
but I guess, you know,
you have certain people
00:16:26.88\00:16:28.97
who you just don't
get along with but I guess
00:16:29.00\00:16:30.95
God puts them in your
path to sort of test you
00:16:30.98\00:16:33.37
so I've been
trying to work on that.
00:16:33.40\00:16:34.95
All right, so what are the--
is there a program or something
00:16:34.98\00:16:39.03
that they teach you
that specifically says,
00:16:39.06\00:16:41.70
when you get angry these are
some of the things you can do?
00:16:41.73\00:16:45.17
Well, they sort of
try to work with you
00:16:45.20\00:16:46.57
with what works
best for you, you know.
00:16:46.60\00:16:48.61
So they tell you
to do certain things.
00:16:48.64\00:16:50.54
Try to do certain things
which work best with you.
00:16:50.57\00:16:52.76
I mean, when people irritate me
00:16:52.79\00:16:55.29
I think the best thing for me
00:16:55.32\00:16:56.97
instead of
retaliating is to ignore them.
00:16:57.00\00:16:59.26
So I've had staff tell me
00:16:59.29\00:17:01.34
to just basically
try to ignore people
00:17:01.37\00:17:03.14
when they try to,
00:17:03.17\00:17:04.54
you know, try to get
me angry and it works.
00:17:04.57\00:17:06.17
Yeah, that'll,
that'll, definitely.
00:17:06.20\00:17:09.19
That'll do it. Yeah.
00:17:09.22\00:17:10.59
But, you know, it's
like, it is really tough
00:17:10.62\00:17:11.99
'cause it feels like
sometimes that people literally,
00:17:12.02\00:17:14.60
even if it's just
a physiological way,
00:17:14.63\00:17:16.51
they literally try
to push your buttons.
00:17:16.54\00:17:18.16
And when that happens to you,
00:17:18.19\00:17:19.80
well, you say is I
try to-- some people say,
00:17:19.83\00:17:22.21
I count to 10. I take a walk.
00:17:22.24\00:17:24.57
I do whatever but, you know,
I know the responding in anger,
00:17:24.60\00:17:28.09
getting up, grabbing something,
00:17:28.12\00:17:29.74
throwing something is
not gonna work for me.
00:17:29.77\00:17:32.90
And so you're learning
that this doesn't work.
00:17:32.93\00:17:35.61
Okay, so I won't
push your buttons then.
00:17:35.64\00:17:38.21
Thank you.
Thanks, Aaron. Thank you.
00:17:38.24\00:17:40.82
Okay, I'd like to have Cody.
00:17:40.85\00:17:44.39
And, you know, I just have
say even with Aaron coming up,
00:17:44.42\00:17:48.14
he's learning different ways
00:17:48.17\00:17:50.36
to actually not have
people push his buttons.
00:17:50.39\00:17:53.38
And I don't even know
if that's your same issue.
00:17:53.41\00:17:55.64
But talk about, who you
are, where you came from
00:17:55.67\00:17:58.20
and what brought
you to Miracle Meadows.
00:17:58.23\00:18:01.36
Well, I'm Cody.
I'm from California.
00:18:01.39\00:18:03.85
And I came here for a lot
of different issues including
00:18:03.88\00:18:07.68
disrespect, defiance which kind
of goes along the same lines,
00:18:07.71\00:18:12.43
lying, stealing, severe
destruction of property.
00:18:12.46\00:18:16.13
And this is at your--
are you adopted by a family?
00:18:16.16\00:18:20.16
Kind of, you know, in a sense
00:18:20.19\00:18:21.56
but it's different
from most of the other kids.
00:18:21.59\00:18:23.07
My birth-mom had me for
the first 11 years of my life.
00:18:23.10\00:18:26.75
And my father got custody of me.
00:18:26.78\00:18:29.10
Okay. And where were you acting
out, at father or mom's house?
00:18:29.13\00:18:33.14
Father. Okay.
00:18:33.17\00:18:34.54
Were you just angry that
you got pulled from your mom's?
00:18:34.57\00:18:38.35
I mean what was the anger about?
00:18:38.38\00:18:39.75
I mean, a lot of it
was but looking back like,
00:18:39.78\00:18:43.28
either way it made no sense
00:18:43.31\00:18:44.68
because my mom always
getting abused over there a lot
00:18:44.71\00:18:47.33
and she had a lot of bad friends
00:18:47.36\00:18:49.04
that were doing
stuff to me. Okay.
00:18:49.07\00:18:50.65
And I used to have to
take cake of my siblings a lot.
00:18:50.68\00:18:53.46
Okay, so you kind of were--
you're trying to make sure
00:18:53.49\00:18:57.12
that everyone was
safe, no one got hurt.
00:18:57.15\00:18:59.41
Everybody was taken care of
00:18:59.44\00:19:01.10
and that the house
ran in a certain way.
00:19:01.13\00:19:03.85
You did all that. Kind of yeah.
00:19:03.88\00:19:05.57
Wow. Because you were young.
00:19:05.60\00:19:09.19
What brought your
dad into remove you
00:19:09.22\00:19:11.73
from your mom's house?
00:19:11.76\00:19:13.35
Well, what happened was
that the first time I called him
00:19:13.38\00:19:15.77
because my mom and my step-dad
got in a really bad fight
00:19:15.81\00:19:19.48
and I had keep my little--
he was burning my sister
00:19:19.51\00:19:22.28
with water, like boiling water.
00:19:22.31\00:19:24.16
I had to take her from
him and hide all my siblings
00:19:24.19\00:19:26.68
in the bathroom and
call my grandma for help.
00:19:26.71\00:19:29.89
I didn't know what to do.
00:19:29.92\00:19:31.29
Right, somebody come help us.
00:19:31.32\00:19:33.63
So yeah, that happened
and then he came and visited.
00:19:33.66\00:19:37.17
And my mom just
had stuff lying out
00:19:37.20\00:19:38.57
like drugs and bongs, whatever.
00:19:38.60\00:19:41.50
And he fought a case against
her and got half custody of me
00:19:41.53\00:19:45.75
and then I ended up telling him
00:19:45.78\00:19:47.15
a lot of stuff
and then he ended up
00:19:47.18\00:19:48.55
getting full custody
of me like a year later.
00:19:48.58\00:19:50.68
After that point I
started like really rebelling
00:19:50.71\00:19:52.66
and getting tired of my dad.
00:19:52.69\00:19:54.21
Can I just--'cause it
sound like if you were--
00:19:54.24\00:19:56.91
if you were
taking care of everybody
00:19:56.94\00:19:58.31
and keeping everybody safe,
00:19:58.34\00:19:59.71
did it feel like
you abandoned them?
00:19:59.74\00:20:02.03
You know, so I mean,
that's got to feel like,
00:20:02.06\00:20:05.21
you know, who's gonna take care?
00:20:05.24\00:20:06.61
What are they gonna do?
00:20:06.64\00:20:08.36
Who's gonna
keep them safe? Yeah.
00:20:08.39\00:20:11.07
And so that was pretty intense
00:20:11.10\00:20:12.70
and so your anger increased,
00:20:12.73\00:20:14.65
rebellion, real destructive for
property what does that mean?
00:20:14.68\00:20:18.23
I was straight up
like, destroying stuff.
00:20:18.26\00:20:20.84
I tried to poison my dad. Yeah.
00:20:20.87\00:20:23.17
I tried to
break a shed and yeah,
00:20:23.20\00:20:27.69
just all kind of
crazy stuff like that.
00:20:27.72\00:20:29.09
Did you think that
if he wasn't around
00:20:29.12\00:20:30.77
you'd get sent back to
mom's? Or did you think--
00:20:30.80\00:20:33.24
Yeah, I used to
run away a lot, too.
00:20:33.27\00:20:34.76
That was in fact
the kind of thing
00:20:34.79\00:20:36.39
that just solidified my
decision to come here. Yeah.
00:20:36.42\00:20:39.98
What happened was I ran
away and I was slept like--
00:20:40.01\00:20:45.15
I slept in a post
office under a trash can.
00:20:45.18\00:20:47.81
And someone called the
cops and they came and got me.
00:20:47.84\00:20:50.61
I didn't really have a choice
but I had to come but-- Yeah.
00:20:50.64\00:20:53.23
I went to Exodus'
house and once my dad--
00:20:53.26\00:20:55.98
my dad was kind of
had a pretty heavy hand.
00:20:56.01\00:20:58.62
And was doing a
lot of stuff to me
00:20:58.65\00:21:00.02
and they kept me
there for a while.
00:21:00.05\00:21:01.84
And he ended up getting me back
00:21:01.87\00:21:03.24
and sending me here afterwards.
00:21:03.27\00:21:04.64
And so you come
to Miracle Meadows.
00:21:04.67\00:21:06.04
First of all, I want
to say thank you because--
00:21:06.07\00:21:07.97
I mean some of the
stuff that you share,
00:21:08.00\00:21:11.12
other kids share
are pretty intense.
00:21:11.15\00:21:12.87
I mean it's heavy issues.
00:21:12.90\00:21:14.58
So thank you
for sharing with us.
00:21:14.61\00:21:16.57
But when you get
to Miracle Meadows
00:21:16.60\00:21:18.06
and you've got all that anger,
00:21:18.09\00:21:19.46
all of that stuff has gone
on in your life from day one,
00:21:19.49\00:21:23.90
how do you then step into
00:21:23.93\00:21:25.30
a program like
this and it be okay?
00:21:25.33\00:21:28.37
It wasn't okay
when I first came.
00:21:28.40\00:21:30.49
That's probably
the more honest answer.
00:21:30.52\00:21:32.95
But eventually you
decided to do the program.
00:21:32.98\00:21:37.63
So what made it okay?
00:21:37.66\00:21:39.19
What--what made you
start to trust anybody?
00:21:39.22\00:21:44.58
Well, like it
seemed when I was here,
00:21:44.61\00:21:47.07
me and my dad
were not really close.
00:21:47.10\00:21:49.10
We started getting like
in a close relationship,
00:21:49.13\00:21:51.18
you know, started talking
more like on positive things.
00:21:51.21\00:21:54.93
And then that kind of made me
00:21:54.96\00:21:56.41
want to make the
right decision also
00:21:56.44\00:21:57.81
because I'd get out here faster.
00:21:57.84\00:21:59.77
I honestly did
not like the school.
00:21:59.80\00:22:01.46
Yeah. Do you have
friends here now? Mm-hmm.
00:22:01.49\00:22:05.07
And so, you know,
to me I think that man,
00:22:05.10\00:22:08.21
I just admire the fact
that you're working on all this
00:22:08.24\00:22:11.31
because you've
got a lot of abuses,
00:22:11.34\00:22:14.49
different kind of
abuses in your life
00:22:14.52\00:22:17.16
because of
somebody else's addiction,
00:22:17.19\00:22:18.57
because your mom's addiction.
00:22:18.60\00:22:20.88
What do you do
that actually works,
00:22:20.91\00:22:24.29
feels good, helps you
and it's a positive thing?
00:22:24.32\00:22:28.22
Just I think
talking to friends, drawing.
00:22:28.25\00:22:31.21
I mean I got into a
couple of horrible things
00:22:31.24\00:22:32.67
like cutting and stuff.
00:22:32.70\00:22:34.07
So that was hard to
quit but afterwards drawing,
00:22:34.10\00:22:36.95
playing piano all
that stuff helps me.
00:22:36.98\00:22:38.38
And I see scars all the
way up and down your arms.
00:22:38.41\00:22:40.61
So what works about cutting?
00:22:40.64\00:22:42.75
It's just, like,
got my mind off of that
00:22:42.78\00:22:44.90
and it feels good to feel
something, even if it's pain.
00:22:44.93\00:22:48.02
You know, we are talking about--
00:22:48.05\00:22:49.42
on this program we talk about
00:22:49.45\00:22:50.82
what hijacks
your pleasure centers,
00:22:50.85\00:22:52.57
what hijacks that
part of your brain
00:22:52.60\00:22:54.31
that makes you feel
calm and like everything's,
00:22:54.34\00:22:57.04
all gonna be okay.
00:22:57.07\00:22:58.44
And sometimes cutting
is one of those things.
00:22:58.47\00:23:00.34
It's a negative way
that gets you to feel good,
00:23:00.37\00:23:05.19
like somehow I
feel-- I don't feel as angry
00:23:05.22\00:23:08.59
or I don't feel as
stressed or anxious or whatever.
00:23:08.62\00:23:11.71
What are you doing?
00:23:11.74\00:23:13.11
So the cutting--
now you said you draw,
00:23:13.14\00:23:14.51
you hangout with
friends, you talk.
00:23:14.54\00:23:16.12
Any sports, any
physical stuff that works?
00:23:16.15\00:23:20.35
I think, yeah.
00:23:20.38\00:23:21.75
I like doing a lot of
wrestling and stuff in the dorm
00:23:21.78\00:23:24.88
but I'm not supposed to.
00:23:24.91\00:23:26.28
Okay, okay. But it works. Yeah.
00:23:26.31\00:23:28.47
So, you know, to
me I want to just say
00:23:28.50\00:23:30.94
I admire the fact that
you have all of this junk
00:23:30.97\00:23:34.27
that you have to deal with
00:23:34.30\00:23:35.67
and you're starting to
open up and deal with that.
00:23:35.70\00:23:37.85
That is awesome.
00:23:37.88\00:23:39.32
And the fact
that you and your dad
00:23:39.35\00:23:40.72
are starting to
connect a little bit more,
00:23:40.75\00:23:43.14
that's really good too.
00:23:43.17\00:23:45.60
How--what are your
siblings, how are they doing?
00:23:45.63\00:23:48.23
I don't know. I haven't
talk to them in a while.
00:23:48.26\00:23:50.36
How do you feel about that?
00:23:50.39\00:23:52.09
It hurts. Yeah.
00:23:52.12\00:23:53.64
And so that-- that's
one thing to look at,
00:23:53.67\00:23:56.51
too 'cause you can't deny
00:23:56.54\00:23:57.91
the fact that you
love them and it hurts.
00:23:57.94\00:24:00.38
And so, you
know, I've asked people
00:24:00.41\00:24:02.09
that are watching
this program is to pray
00:24:02.12\00:24:04.38
for whoever comes
up and talks and I--
00:24:04.41\00:24:07.50
I'm hoping that
somebody just prays for you
00:24:07.53\00:24:09.24
during this whole
time and prays for your--
00:24:09.27\00:24:11.26
how many--you have
brothers and sisters?
00:24:11.29\00:24:13.73
Both, one brother, one sister?
00:24:13.76\00:24:15.54
I have two brothers and
one sister on my mom's side
00:24:15.57\00:24:18.52
and two sisters
on my dad's side.
00:24:18.55\00:24:21.12
Okay, okay. You know--
you're working through a lot.
00:24:21.15\00:24:26.32
And I'm--I'm just proud that you
are deciding to do the program
00:24:26.35\00:24:29.88
and that you're
gonna work through this.
00:24:29.91\00:24:32.19
And that you're
not cutting any more.
00:24:32.22\00:24:33.78
How cool is that?
It is pretty cool.
00:24:33.81\00:24:35.70
Bye. Okay. Next I'd like
to introduce you to Caroline.
00:24:35.73\00:24:40.16
Caroline, come in.
00:24:40.19\00:24:41.61
You know what, you
are out of this group
00:24:41.64\00:24:44.52
the youngest one here.
00:24:44.55\00:24:46.09
How old are you?
Nine. 9-years-old.
00:24:46.12\00:24:49.00
But you're not the
youngest one at the school.
00:24:49.03\00:24:51.86
Who's the youngest one? Seleena.
00:24:51.89\00:24:53.84
And how old is
she? She is eight.
00:24:53.87\00:24:56.86
Okay, and so I look at you
00:24:56.89\00:24:59.68
and I think there is no way
00:24:59.71\00:25:02.48
you could be in a
alternative school but you are.
00:25:02.51\00:25:07.20
And so who are you and
what brought you there?
00:25:07.23\00:25:10.92
I'm Caroline Murray Berrett.
00:25:10.95\00:25:13.37
I came to Miracle
Meadows for disrespect,
00:25:13.40\00:25:18.60
stealing, lying, and defiance.
00:25:18.63\00:25:20.93
And tell me about your--are
you bio-family, adopted family?
00:25:20.96\00:25:27.38
Tell me a little
bit about your life.
00:25:27.41\00:25:31.35
I had my birth mom with
me before I was only about--
00:25:31.38\00:25:35.60
I don't know how old I was
when I was with my birth family.
00:25:35.63\00:25:40.64
I was 3-months-old when I
came to my adopted family.
00:25:40.67\00:25:43.95
Okay. Yeah.
00:25:43.98\00:25:45.60
And so and you got
adopted at 3-months-old? Mm-hmm.
00:25:45.63\00:25:50.55
And the defiance, have
you always just felt angry?
00:25:50.58\00:25:53.94
I mean, or is that new? No.
00:25:53.97\00:25:57.77
Okay so talk a
little bit about that.
00:25:57.80\00:26:00.64
I like, I only
get angry if I don't--
00:26:00.67\00:26:02.81
like my mom does
something I don't want happening
00:26:02.84\00:26:06.15
or if like-- if
we're like moving somewhere
00:26:06.18\00:26:09.39
where I can't talk to my friends
00:26:09.42\00:26:11.82
or if like my mom won't
let me to like eat something
00:26:11.85\00:26:16.19
or like if I want to go
somewhere I cant go there.
00:26:16.22\00:26:20.67
Right, but, you
know, so for a lot of us
00:26:20.70\00:26:23.78
will get angry about that.
00:26:23.81\00:26:25.27
But your anger is a little
bit over the top then, right?
00:26:25.30\00:26:29.30
And so she ends up
putting you in Miracle Meadows.
00:26:29.33\00:26:31.57
What's that like?
00:26:31.60\00:26:35.10
It was really just not happy
00:26:35.13\00:26:38.44
because I came back
from school the one time
00:26:38.47\00:26:42.09
and I think it
was in May the 4th.
00:26:42.12\00:26:44.86
So I came back, I
saw my mom packing stuff.
00:26:44.89\00:26:47.32
I asked her, where are we going?
00:26:47.35\00:26:49.19
She's like, "well,
you're going to a school."
00:26:49.22\00:26:50.74
I was like, "where?"
00:26:50.77\00:26:52.31
She's like, "the school
that I was talking about."
00:26:52.34\00:26:54.39
And I was like, "oh, no."
00:26:54.42\00:26:55.95
And I kind of got really mad
00:26:55.98\00:26:57.89
and then when I saw the--
like I slept the whole time
00:26:57.92\00:27:02.34
and then I was just kind of--
00:27:02.37\00:27:06.05
I was just my mom
told me to wake up
00:27:06.08\00:27:07.60
and I just saw a sign.
00:27:07.63\00:27:09.00
Oh, Miracle Meadows.
00:27:09.03\00:27:10.40
I was like,
"what am I doing here?"
00:27:10.43\00:27:11.80
She's like, "well,
this is the school."
00:27:11.83\00:27:13.20
I was like, "is
this a boarding school?"
00:27:13.23\00:27:15.17
She told me yes.
So I was like, "okay."
00:27:15.20\00:27:17.86
So boarding
school, dealing with anger,
00:27:17.89\00:27:19.94
what did they
taught you about anger?
00:27:19.97\00:27:21.63
Anything? I mean
what are you learning?
00:27:21.66\00:27:23.62
That I shouldn't let
it on-- out on people.
00:27:23.65\00:27:26.83
That it's not a fun
part to have in your life.
00:27:26.86\00:27:31.85
Right. So what
do you do instead?
00:27:31.88\00:27:33.75
Instead of putting--
directing it towards people,
00:27:33.78\00:27:35.56
what do you do that works?
00:27:35.59\00:27:37.77
Sometimes I
pray, sometimes I read
00:27:37.80\00:27:41.86
or something so I can
just think of something else
00:27:41.89\00:27:44.19
instead of
anger and not get mad.
00:27:44.22\00:27:46.69
So you just distract yourself.
00:27:46.72\00:27:48.17
Like, I just want
to do something else.
00:27:48.20\00:27:50.81
Anything,
exercise, physical stuff.
00:27:50.84\00:27:54.89
They changed the way you eat.
00:27:54.92\00:27:58.47
Yeah, they--not
change the way I eat but--
00:27:58.50\00:28:04.50
Because I've been
at Miracle Meadows
00:28:04.53\00:28:05.92
and they're pretty
healthy, right, as far as foods.
00:28:05.95\00:28:09.64
Not a lot of sugars and candies
and all that kind of stuff.
00:28:09.67\00:28:13.56
Do you miss that? Kind of.
00:28:13.59\00:28:18.21
Well, I want to
just say thank you.
00:28:18.24\00:28:19.74
So that--is there anything else
that you want to share us first,
00:28:19.77\00:28:23.36
stuff that you've
learned at Miracle Meadows? No.
00:28:23.39\00:28:27.69
Okay, thanks for
sharing what you have.
00:28:27.72\00:28:30.23
It's kind of hard--
it's harder to be up here
00:28:30.26\00:28:31.94
than it looks, isn't it?
00:28:31.97\00:28:33.85
Because it looks
like it'll be pretty easy.
00:28:33.88\00:28:36.43
Okay, thank you.
00:28:36.46\00:28:38.12
Okay, I'd like to
introduce you now to Delaine.
00:28:38.15\00:28:41.49
Ah, Delaina. I
always put the "e" on there.
00:28:41.52\00:28:44.61
Okay. Thank you.
00:28:44.64\00:28:46.97
And so you've heard
everybody has talked about,
00:28:47.00\00:28:50.89
you know, Miracle Meadows
and what brought them there.
00:28:50.92\00:28:55.46
I'm gonna ask
you the same question
00:28:55.49\00:28:57.09
and then I want to ask
you about their program
00:28:57.12\00:28:59.38
because you've been
there for how long? 4 years.
00:28:59.41\00:29:01.42
And so you were there even
the last time I was there. Yeah.
00:29:01.45\00:29:04.28
And so talk about what
brought you there. Who are you?
00:29:04.31\00:29:07.73
Who your family is?
And what are you learning?
00:29:07.76\00:29:10.77
Well, I'm Delaina.
00:29:10.80\00:29:12.51
I am the oldest student
00:29:12.54\00:29:13.91
at Miracle
Meadows in age and length.
00:29:13.94\00:29:16.88
And I was adopted at
the age of four before
00:29:16.91\00:29:22.11
and I was with my
birth mother who was single
00:29:22.14\00:29:26.46
and addicted to drugs
and alcohol and everything.
00:29:26.49\00:29:29.18
And she wasn't
taking care of me.
00:29:29.21\00:29:30.80
There will be often
times where she'll pass out.
00:29:30.83\00:29:33.51
She'll just leave me.
00:29:33.54\00:29:34.91
So you kind of
were taking care of her.
00:29:34.94\00:29:36.67
Yeah, as a little girl.
00:29:36.70\00:29:38.07
And I'd be in and out
of the foster program.
00:29:38.10\00:29:39.97
And there was a time where,
00:29:40.00\00:29:41.52
you know, she was told
that she needs to complete
00:29:41.55\00:29:44.61
the rehab program or give up me.
00:29:44.64\00:29:47.85
And she gave up me.
00:29:47.88\00:29:51.14
You know, when you're
saying that it sounds like
00:29:51.17\00:29:52.79
it's an easy thing to say
00:29:52.82\00:29:54.19
but it can't have
been that easy to feel.
00:29:54.22\00:29:57.17
No, this actually
took me quite a long time
00:29:57.20\00:30:00.42
to actually accept the
fact that it wasn't my fault
00:30:00.45\00:30:03.26
for the adoption
and to realize that,
00:30:03.29\00:30:07.00
you know, God's
using me for a purpose
00:30:07.03\00:30:09.36
and that my past is my
past and I have to step forward.
00:30:09.39\00:30:12.71
And not till this last year--
00:30:12.74\00:30:15.24
well, half year that
I started working myself
00:30:15.27\00:30:17.87
and getting rid
of that past hurt.
00:30:17.90\00:30:20.14
So--and that's why I
think it's incredible thing
00:30:20.17\00:30:23.12
when you actually have
people that care about you.
00:30:23.15\00:30:25.32
They can talk about the issues
00:30:25.35\00:30:26.72
because it sounds like
00:30:26.75\00:30:28.12
you walked in
feeling all that rejection.
00:30:28.15\00:30:30.28
You know,
nobody really wants me.
00:30:30.31\00:30:32.93
I'm not good enough for my mom.
00:30:32.96\00:30:34.33
She won't even stay clean.
00:30:34.36\00:30:35.80
You're in and
out of foster homes.
00:30:35.83\00:30:37.20
Were you finally
adopted at the end of that?
00:30:37.23\00:30:39.32
Yeah. I was--I was--at the
age of four I was adopted. Okay.
00:30:39.35\00:30:42.66
And my mother-- my family,
00:30:42.69\00:30:46.80
you know, my mother now,
00:30:46.83\00:30:48.20
you know, she
came and picked me up
00:30:48.23\00:30:49.90
and she told me that when
she picked me up she had--
00:30:49.93\00:30:54.14
well, the only
thing that I had was,
00:30:54.17\00:30:55.79
you know, a
matching pair of earrings.
00:30:55.82\00:30:57.19
Everything else was
not too big, too small.
00:30:57.22\00:30:59.90
Not my cloths kind of things.
00:30:59.93\00:31:01.56
So I came from, you
know, a bad background
00:31:01.59\00:31:03.98
and ever since I was young
growing up I felt rejected,
00:31:04.01\00:31:08.26
you know, from my birth mother.
00:31:08.29\00:31:10.34
And I was afraid of love.
00:31:10.37\00:31:12.38
Afraid of, you know,
coming-- having someone love me
00:31:12.41\00:31:16.72
and then loving them back
00:31:16.75\00:31:18.12
and then having
them get rid of me again.
00:31:18.15\00:31:19.53
So I acted out in violence
physically and emotionally
00:31:19.56\00:31:23.77
towards my family.
00:31:23.80\00:31:25.17
And I was--I stole, I lied,
I was destructive of property
00:31:25.20\00:31:31.27
and, you know, everything
was like turned upside down,
00:31:31.30\00:31:35.82
like chaos because of me.
00:31:35.85\00:31:37.55
And I often, you know, all it
caused was hurting the family.
00:31:37.58\00:31:41.88
And what finally
caused the decision
00:31:41.91\00:31:43.76
to get rid of me was before
I left was at the age of 13.
00:31:43.79\00:31:48.54
They said that, you know,
we can't handle you anymore
00:31:48.57\00:31:51.03
because we had this big fight
and I threatened to stab them
00:31:51.06\00:31:53.08
in their sleep before they--
after they went to bed. And--
00:31:53.11\00:31:58.24
That's pretty intense. Yeah.
00:31:58.27\00:32:00.07
And I just told them I
am gonna kill the fish.
00:32:00.10\00:32:03.52
And like I hope
you fall on the stairs.
00:32:03.55\00:32:05.67
I'm gonna stab
you guys in your sleep
00:32:05.70\00:32:07.07
and they couldn't
take it any longer. Right.
00:32:07.10\00:32:08.47
And the next day, you
know, they took me out of school
00:32:08.50\00:32:10.19
and shipped me off
00:32:10.22\00:32:11.83
because they couldn't
handle any longer. Right.
00:32:11.86\00:32:14.01
And so you come to
Miracle Meadows totally--
00:32:14.04\00:32:16.52
you know, and can
I ask you Delaina,
00:32:16.55\00:32:18.58
'cause I mean I, you
know, I think you're so amazing
00:32:18.61\00:32:21.56
but did you think at one
point that I must be crazy?
00:32:21.59\00:32:25.32
Do you know like
'cause you don't really--
00:32:25.35\00:32:26.85
I think sometimes we don't feel
like we understand our anger.
00:32:26.88\00:32:29.35
We don't
understand why I'm doing this.
00:32:29.38\00:32:31.04
It just feels crazy
but I have no control.
00:32:31.07\00:32:34.38
Yeah, often I felt like,
00:32:34.41\00:32:35.78
you know, there's
something wrong with me.
00:32:35.81\00:32:37.18
There's something wrong
with me inside, you know.
00:32:37.21\00:32:39.10
Am I not a good person?
00:32:39.13\00:32:41.73
Is there a--did I
have a defect or something?
00:32:41.76\00:32:44.90
Like I didn't
feel important at all.
00:32:44.93\00:32:46.45
I felt like trash along
with treating others like trash.
00:32:46.48\00:32:49.84
And a lot times
to the outside world,
00:32:49.87\00:32:52.50
like complete people I
do not know, they thought,
00:32:52.53\00:32:55.45
"oh, what's wrong with her?"
00:32:55.48\00:32:56.85
Like even my
best friend thought,
00:32:56.88\00:32:58.31
you know, nothing's
wrong with you. Right.
00:32:58.34\00:33:00.93
But she didn't
know what's going on
00:33:00.96\00:33:03.38
when it came to
family and people close to me
00:33:03.41\00:33:05.92
and all that hurt and
the destruction I had done.
00:33:05.95\00:33:09.01
And wanting someone to pay.
00:33:09.04\00:33:10.62
I want someone to pay.
00:33:10.65\00:33:13.74
You've been at Miracle
Meadows for 4 years now.
00:33:13.77\00:33:17.22
How is that? Is
that settled in for you?
00:33:17.25\00:33:19.91
Have you learned
stuff about yourself?
00:33:19.94\00:33:21.64
Have you learned
to accept yourself?
00:33:21.67\00:33:23.29
Oh, yeah, when I first
entered Miracle Meadows
00:33:23.32\00:33:26.80
it was more like
let me climb my way out,
00:33:26.83\00:33:28.63
let me manipulate and, you
know, get myself out of here.
00:33:28.66\00:33:31.07
I think I never do
anything bad again.
00:33:31.10\00:33:33.10
But, you know, often I
tell it's not my problem,
00:33:33.13\00:33:36.05
it's not my problem.
00:33:36.08\00:33:37.45
Then eventually I realized,
00:33:37.48\00:33:38.93
you know, last year--
00:33:38.96\00:33:40.93
because I come
from a family who--
00:33:40.96\00:33:42.74
it's not--they're
not Seventh-day Adventist
00:33:42.77\00:33:44.42
or they don't--
they're Christian but,
00:33:44.45\00:33:47.02
you know, I got baptized as a
Seventh-day Adventist last year.
00:33:47.05\00:33:50.17
And I've come close
to God and I've realized,
00:33:50.20\00:33:52.45
you know, I'm a great person.
00:33:52.48\00:33:54.33
He has a plan for me.
00:33:54.36\00:33:55.82
And I've learned about
why-- how I react certain ways,
00:33:55.85\00:33:59.74
why I react certain ways and
how I can deal with them. So--
00:33:59.77\00:34:01.93
Right, and you know what,
I'm sorry we have to close
00:34:01.96\00:34:05.14
'cause I really
want to have you back
00:34:05.17\00:34:07.45
and talk about this with you
00:34:07.48\00:34:09.36
'cause I have a
feeling you're gonna graduate
00:34:09.39\00:34:11.07
and do some incredible
things with your life.
00:34:11.10\00:34:13.25
But I want to say
to-- I want to say
00:34:13.28\00:34:17.97
to the viewers is
that we're gonna come back
00:34:18.00\00:34:20.16
and kind of wrap this up.
00:34:20.19\00:34:21.69
But every single one of
these young people have a story
00:34:21.72\00:34:26.75
and they all coped in
the best way they can.
00:34:26.78\00:34:28.87
And now they have to relearn
that and so stay with us.
00:34:28.90\00:34:32.20
We're gonna come
back and I want to talk
00:34:32.23\00:34:33.60
a little bit about that 'cause
you might be one of these kids.
00:34:33.63\00:34:36.20