The following program
discusses sensitive issues
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related to addictive behavior.
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Parents are
cautioned that some material
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may be too candid
for younger children.
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Welcome to
"Celebrating Life in Recovery."
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You know C. A., I get
emails about this program
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because whenever they see you,
they know it's a new season.
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And so we're going
into our eighth season,
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this is an incredible
amount of stuff to celebrate
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and so I can't wait to
share all of that with you.
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So come join us,
I am looking forward
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to every single guest
this season, it's amazing.
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Welcome to
"Celebrating Life in Recovery,"
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season number eight and I
can hardly believe it, Cheri,
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we're talking about
season number eight.
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This is a very special season,
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a number of
milestones will take place
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during the course of this season
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and I'm excited because this is,
I think, the first full season,
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if not the second, that
you've had your husband,
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sort of, with you in ministry
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and we've seen kind of
a little change in you,
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you know, over the time
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that he sort of
joined you on this road
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and it's been good
for you, hasn't it?
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Well, you know
what's really hard about
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having your husband with you?
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As far as--
because I'm pretty strong,
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I'm pretty loud,
whatever and people see that.
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But when I'm at home, I'm not.
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You know, when I'm at home,
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I really do submit
to him and I think that
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people when they come to
our house are surprised at that,
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but when they see us together
they're surprised at that too.
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And so as we're stepping
out in ministry together
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even when he shares
some time with me here,
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you could see the change.
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Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
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There where two people
that I always wanted to know.
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I want to know
what the husband is like
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who married that
person. One was Ellen White.
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So I read the
biography of James White,
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he was a strong
guy in his own way
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and the other one was,
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I want to meet your
husband of Cheri Peters.
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So we got to meet him,
what a wonderful guy. Thank you.
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Who has joined you in ministry
and really complements you well.
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Thank you. A classy guy.
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Yeah, new christain--yeah.
And you like him a lot.
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Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
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So he does one of
the shows with you?
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You know, what was
really fun is, we come on.
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I had no idea, other
than it's another season
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and we're excited and
we're lining people up
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and I walk in and somebody said,
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"This is your
100th program." Yeah.
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And I'm like "Shut up, 100?"
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And, you know, when
I thought about that is
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when we started
this, what we had in mind
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was that we wanted to help
change the lives of people.
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You know, people
struggling with addictions,
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especially quietly, you know,
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you don't know
what step to make,
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what you're gonna
do, all that kind stuff
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and we really
wanted to speak into that.
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We wanted to kind of, you
know, like in addictives homes
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where nobody talks about
the addiction or whatever,
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we wanted to kind
of break that out,
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especially in Christianity,
especially in the churches.
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And so, but a 100th season.
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I didn't know if we
thought we were gonna--
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I don't know what we thought.
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Yeah, we didn't know if
we were gonna get through
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the first season,
let alone a 100 shows,
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but a number of things.
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I think the first time we
talked about sexual addiction,
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I thought
somebody was gonna like,
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"I'm sorry, you're out of here."
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We can't do that.
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But everybody was incredible
and what I want to say to,
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definitely, people
that are watching is that,
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we are here because of you.
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This program is, you
know, it started out,
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you know, talking to those
in addiction and those that,
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that were struggling.
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I really had-- my heart's cry
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is to say out loud that
God is bigger than our issues,
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my heart's cry is to
say that there's nothing
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that He can't change or heal.
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And so we were here for that.
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And then the first
season we got emails,
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lives being changed,
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everything
exactly what we thought,
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people coming out
of sexual addictions.
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I gotta say too,
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you know, there's a girl
named Tina in Washington,
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incredible meth addict.
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She really was
in and out of meth,
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able to hold a job for a while,
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then lost that,
teeth falling out,
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all that kind of stuff.
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And we meet her, she
starts watching the program,
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she not only jumps into recovery
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but the church
falls in love with her,
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raises money, fixes her teeth,
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she runs our recovery
program in her church,
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changes this whole
little church, this meth addict,
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because of what she sees here.
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So I want to say
that this program
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would not even be successful
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if it wasn't for
the fact of every person
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that is gaining
life that are watching.
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Every person that is
sharing this journey with us.
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So in our
celebration, I just want to say,
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thank you. Praise the Lord.
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You know, when we
began this program,
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a number of things.
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We didn't know
really where we were going.
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You came with an idea.
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We didn't know how much control
we could exercise over you
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and then we didn't know how
much control we should exercise,
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you know, we didn't know
where to pull in the reins
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or where to let you go
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and just let
you go and be Cheri.
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And I think it
developed over the first year
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we saw that God
was in control of you,
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so we didn't
have to be. Thank you.
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We could relax
and sort of breathe
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because the Lord had the reins.
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And the things that
should be said were being said.
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And the things that
should be touched on lightly
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were being touched on lightly
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and the things that
really needed to be promoted
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were being promoted.
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So we saw early on
that God was in control
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and that we could
trust you with this
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because your experience
and the Holy Spirit was guiding
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what was gonna be said
and what was gonna be done
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and the kinds of
people that came through.
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You think about the 100 shows,
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we've had some wild
and crazy people. We did.
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We've had
strippers, we've had pastors,
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we've had, you know,
we've had just across the board,
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we have people
strung out on heroin,
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we have had perfectionist,
we've had religious addictions,
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we've had all of
that kind of stuff,
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and being able to look
at all of those addictions
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and knowing that
one thing in common,
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is it separates them
from God and from having joy.
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And how do you bridge
that separation? Yeah.
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Yeah, yeah and the Lord
used you in a powerful way.
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I need to say something
to you early on, Cheri,
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because we spent
some time together
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in Australia last year
ministering. That was a blast.
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And it was
really, really powerful.
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And I saw you in
a different light.
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We've seen you the manic Cheri,
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you know, there's
just the person in control
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and just doing it.
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But I saw you in
more of a teaching--
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I want to use the
term "professorial,"
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kind of like last year
in Australia, where you--
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You're not gonna call me
out, are you? No, I'm not.
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There people are
like "What? We did what?"
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No, well, you were, you
were little more buttoned down,
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you were little more
pedagogical, can I say?
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You were educating,
you were professorial,
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you know, you just you
were teaching young people
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and older ones too, I mean,
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we had big
crowds. About addiction.
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And-- about addiction
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and some of the more
technical medical aspects
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you drew on your
nursing background,
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your medical background,
more than I'd seen you before.
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So you kind of
switched gears a little bit
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and became a teacher, educator,
lecturer more than a host.
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And I saw them
accept that from you
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and really be blessed by that
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and I heard the comments,
you know kind of thing.
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So God has used you
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and has given you
enough breadth and depth
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so that you can come either way,
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if you need to be
street, you got that.
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But if you need to
be college professor,
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you got that too, so we
thank you for letting the Lord
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use your life to touch so many.
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So you know, can I say that
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my dream from the very
first moment of recovery?
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I mean, this is in
1979, for a long time is that
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if every single church
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could know the kind of the
struggles of the addiction--
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of the addict, know what to say,
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how to welcome people in
regardless of what it was?
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And this last year we
put together a program
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and I have been
teaching on that program
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just because it
has been my dream
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and so can I show you
what it is? Please do.
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This is, this year
we're talking about
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not only
"Celebrating Life in Recovery,"
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the television program,
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but we also wrote up a
program for the churches.
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And the program for the churches
is from our first season
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when we went
through "Steps to Christ"
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and we went through what is
the foundations of Christianity
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and how does that
relate to our sexual addictions
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and drug addictions
and our rage and our anger
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and all of that kind of stuff?
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And so we ended up putting
a 14-week program together.
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Fourteen weeks, and every week
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you're gonna look at
something else, but not so much.
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A lot of recovery
programs really believe
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you gotta look at the addiction
and keep looking at it.
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And I really think that
God told me early on is,
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"I want to teach
you to celebrate life,
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I want to teach you
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the step away from
all of that kind of stuff
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and let me show you,
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if you haven't
been born into that,
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if you hadn't chose--
made the choice that you had,
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how would do you
laugh, how do you speak,
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how would you do
all that kind stuff?"
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And that's what
I'm gonna teach you.
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So not that we don't
talk about the issues,
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we actually show a lot
of the testimonies in that
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week-to-week program
00:09:07.84\00:09:09.21
that we have
interviewed on this program.
00:09:09.24\00:09:10.96
But we go through
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the Steps to
Christ as a foundation,
00:09:13.83\00:09:16.76
what is
repentance? What is prayer?
00:09:16.79\00:09:18.33
What is forgiveness?
00:09:18.36\00:09:19.73
What is all that kind stuff?
00:09:19.76\00:09:21.13
And I don't know what you're
gonna think about this, C.A.,
00:09:21.16\00:09:23.42
but I was
reading Steps to Christ
00:09:23.45\00:09:26.28
and I thought, you know, for
some of the people I work with,
00:09:26.31\00:09:30.10
this is gonna be too--
the language is not current
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and you know,
Ellen White wrote it
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and she's an amazing writer, but
she wrote it years ago. Yeah.
00:09:36.10\00:09:39.01
And what's it got
to do with recovery
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and can I keep
people here in this chapter?
00:09:40.92\00:09:44.42
And then I thought,
00:09:44.45\00:09:45.82
"I'll just put some
recovery language in."
00:09:45.85\00:09:48.13
And I didn't realize,
as soon as you say that,
00:09:48.16\00:09:50.94
people get nervous.
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They get--yeah.
Well, a little scared.
00:09:52.46\00:09:53.98
I called
different publishing houses,
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I called Ellen White estates
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and I called
n-number of different folks
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and I said, you know,
"Can I keep the anointing of it
00:10:01.27\00:10:05.51
and put it into
recovery language?"
00:10:05.54\00:10:08.83
And they're like, "Well,
it has no copyright on it."
00:10:08.86\00:10:12.27
So you really, you can do that,
00:10:12.30\00:10:15.86
but, ma'am, would
you put it everywhere?
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Like, would you
write it all over?
00:10:17.86\00:10:20.06
This is Cheri's
version of Steps to Christ.
00:10:20.09\00:10:22.38
So I want to say it is my
version of Steps to Christ,
00:10:22.41\00:10:25.10
but I was changed by that book.
00:10:25.13\00:10:27.05
So I--you know, so what I did is
00:10:27.08\00:10:29.23
just put that in
some recovery language
00:10:29.26\00:10:31.60
and the focus is
Foundational Christianity.
00:10:31.63\00:10:34.35
And we've got the DVDs of
the testimonies of our program,
00:10:34.38\00:10:38.82
leader's guide telling
somebody how to run a group.
00:10:38.85\00:10:41.58
So this is a "How
to" kind of manual? Yeah.
00:10:41.61\00:10:44.11
How you can take this
into a--in your own church,
00:10:44.14\00:10:47.02
your own home,
your own locality?
00:10:47.05\00:10:48.81
You know, they run
it in prisons right now.
00:10:48.84\00:10:50.81
They ran it in New Zealand.
00:10:50.84\00:10:53.25
The New Zealand Christian
foundation ran it three times.
00:10:53.28\00:10:55.40
And you know Joanne
Davies, an amazing woman,
00:10:55.43\00:10:58.17
runs it three times and
they had 100 baptisms. Wow.
00:10:58.20\00:11:00.94
She said over 100.
00:11:00.97\00:11:02.34
But you know,
I'm just saying 100
00:11:02.37\00:11:03.74
because I like to exaggerate
00:11:03.77\00:11:05.14
and I'm trying to
under exaggerate that one.
00:11:05.17\00:11:06.73
But she said over 100 baptisms
00:11:06.76\00:11:08.49
and she said what happened
was she thought happened
00:11:08.52\00:11:10.45
what was amazing, is as
people came in to the program,
00:11:10.48\00:11:14.80
got that
foundational Christianity,
00:11:14.83\00:11:16.53
got to say out loud,
00:11:16.56\00:11:18.02
domestic violence is
what we struggle with,
00:11:18.05\00:11:20.17
alcoholism is
what we struggle with,
00:11:20.20\00:11:21.97
saying that loud with no
shame, asking forgiveness,
00:11:22.00\00:11:25.29
walking through
those initial steps,
00:11:25.32\00:11:27.17
she said by the time
they came into the churches
00:11:27.20\00:11:29.64
they were healthy
church members. Sure.
00:11:29.67\00:11:31.35
And they walked
in the door and said,
00:11:31.38\00:11:32.75
"What can we do for you?"
00:11:32.78\00:11:34.15
Instead of "How can
we lead the church?"
00:11:34.18\00:11:35.98
Because sometimes we're
walking and we're such a mess.
00:11:36.01\00:11:38.16
These guys were not
a mess and she said,
00:11:38.19\00:11:39.95
"That's what was so
incredible about this program."
00:11:39.98\00:11:42.93
And I thought, you know what,
every church should have that,
00:11:42.96\00:11:46.92
you know, instead of
coming right into a Bible study,
00:11:46.95\00:11:49.36
let somebody kind of
unpack their baggage first.
00:11:49.39\00:11:53.58
And this is a
program that literally
00:11:53.61\00:11:54.98
unpacks your
baggage first. Yeah.
00:11:55.01\00:11:57.04
In a way that you're
not focused on the baggage,
00:11:57.07\00:11:59.28
you focus on
foundational Christianity
00:11:59.31\00:12:01.62
but you're not
ignoring the baggage either.
00:12:01.65\00:12:03.72
And so to me the 100th
episode for the program
00:12:03.75\00:12:07.45
being able to add this
resource for the churches,
00:12:07.48\00:12:10.89
I could die now.
Yeah, this-- Not yet--
00:12:10.92\00:12:14.44
You know, and I'm not going
to but you know what, I could.
00:12:14.47\00:12:16.41
It's just-- it's
a good year for me.
00:12:16.44\00:12:17.81
A couple of things,
Cheri, that occurred to me,
00:12:17.84\00:12:19.92
one, this is part of the natural
evolution of the ministry
00:12:19.95\00:12:23.06
or the program of the ministry.
00:12:23.09\00:12:24.61
I really want to read--
00:12:24.64\00:12:26.01
I've read Steps of
Christ any number of times.
00:12:26.04\00:12:27.62
I want to read it
with a new language.
00:12:27.65\00:12:29.02
I read it when David
Thomas rewrote Desire of Ages,
00:12:29.05\00:12:32.04
that great book and
called it Messiah. Right.
00:12:32.07\00:12:33.96
And there were people
who were a little leery
00:12:33.99\00:12:35.58
because you're gonna change
this 300-year-old language,
00:12:35.61\00:12:39.21
but I think there are those
who couldn't wade their way
00:12:39.24\00:12:42.97
because of whatever,
couldn't wade their way
00:12:43.00\00:12:45.37
through the Steps of Christ.
00:12:45.40\00:12:46.77
But they will be
able to wade their way
00:12:46.80\00:12:48.17
through something which is
a little more contemporary,
00:12:48.20\00:12:49.66
which has the same anointing,
carries the same thoughts,
00:12:49.69\00:12:53.15
but puts it in
contemporary language
00:12:53.18\00:12:54.77
that someone can get through
00:12:54.80\00:12:56.17
and allow it to seep
in and change their lives.
00:12:56.20\00:12:57.59
So I'm excited about it--
00:12:57.62\00:12:58.99
And you know just like
00:12:59.02\00:13:00.81
Mr. Thomas that did
"the Messiah" is I ended up--
00:13:00.84\00:13:04.19
I'm not a writer in
that sense, you know,
00:13:04.22\00:13:07.95
and so what I did is said
"Who would I want to do it?
00:13:07.98\00:13:11.07
Who's the writer?"
00:13:11.10\00:13:12.47
And I called somebody that
00:13:12.50\00:13:13.87
I worked with at
Pacific Press years ago.
00:13:13.90\00:13:15.53
And I said, "Would
you do this for me?"
00:13:15.56\00:13:18.07
And she prayed
and prayed and prayed.
00:13:18.10\00:13:20.01
Her name is Sophie
Breeze and she put it together
00:13:20.04\00:13:22.06
and she would send it to us
and I would write some stuff
00:13:22.09\00:13:24.88
and add some recovery stuff.
00:13:24.91\00:13:26.28
Then I would send
it to a friend of mine,
00:13:26.31\00:13:27.68
Danielle Senate in Australia.
00:13:27.71\00:13:29.25
She would write some stuff,
00:13:29.28\00:13:30.67
Joanne Davies has
already put something, you know.
00:13:30.70\00:13:32.60
And so it was a whole
team that got together,
00:13:32.63\00:13:34.59
it wasn't one person that
just sat down and did this.
00:13:34.62\00:13:37.47
And we did it just
because it is time.
00:13:37.50\00:13:40.06
Yeah. It is time.
00:13:40.09\00:13:41.46
You know we can do
all kinds of education
00:13:41.49\00:13:44.25
with all kinds of programs,
00:13:44.28\00:13:45.65
but if we're not allowing
somebody to say out loud,
00:13:45.68\00:13:48.51
"I'm scared." Yeah.
00:13:48.54\00:13:49.91
"I don't know how
to get through this,"
00:13:49.94\00:13:52.18
we're in trouble. Yeah.
00:13:52.21\00:13:53.58
You know this season,
I'm gonna do a little--
00:13:53.61\00:13:56.78
I thought I was
gonna do more teaching
00:13:56.81\00:13:59.52
because I really
believe that you know,
00:13:59.55\00:14:01.58
we've talked about you
know, coming into detox
00:14:01.61\00:14:03.93
and coming off of drugs
00:14:03.96\00:14:05.33
and doing those kind
of first initial steps
00:14:05.36\00:14:07.36
and making sure you
surround yourself with people
00:14:07.39\00:14:09.29
and you know,
turn it over to God.
00:14:09.32\00:14:12.53
What's the Holy Spirit?
00:14:12.56\00:14:13.93
Where are you
gonna find your power?
00:14:13.96\00:14:15.33
Getting into the word.
00:14:15.36\00:14:16.73
We did all that kind of stuff,
00:14:16.76\00:14:18.13
but I wanted this
season to talk about,
00:14:18.16\00:14:19.94
you know,
there's some core issues,
00:14:19.97\00:14:21.63
some underlying issues
that happen to us in addiction,
00:14:21.66\00:14:24.47
that we get trashed.
00:14:24.50\00:14:25.87
And we get trashed
really at such a deep level.
00:14:25.90\00:14:28.91
And one of the guys that I had
00:14:28.94\00:14:31.92
heard an interview
00:14:31.95\00:14:33.44
with was a guy named Dr.
Archibald Hart out of LA.
00:14:33.47\00:14:36.52
I don't know if you know of him,
00:14:36.55\00:14:38.06
but he wrote a book
called "Thrilled to Death."
00:14:38.09\00:14:40.21
Yes, yes, yes,
I've got the book.--
00:14:40.24\00:14:41.65
And he's
powerful. He is powerful.
00:14:41.68\00:14:44.28
And his--he said
there is an epidemic
00:14:44.31\00:14:47.11
right now in the US of people
00:14:47.14\00:14:50.18
that have trashed their
pleasure centers in their brain.
00:14:50.21\00:14:53.22
You have a pleasure
center and then you have fear
00:14:53.25\00:14:55.28
and love and other kind of--
there's a part of your brain
00:14:55.31\00:14:57.66
that has all that
00:14:57.69\00:14:59.06
and every part of your
brain does something different.
00:14:59.09\00:15:00.59
But this pleasure
center is a big deal. Yeah.
00:15:00.62\00:15:03.18
And we have,
like the Bible says,
00:15:03.21\00:15:07.07
become seekers of pleasure
rather than seekers of God
00:15:07.10\00:15:10.39
or lovers of pleasure
rather than lovers of God.
00:15:10.42\00:15:12.99
And so what he talked about
00:15:13.02\00:15:15.84
is that people have literally
trashed this pleasure center
00:15:15.87\00:15:19.22
almost like a drug.
00:15:19.25\00:15:20.88
We've stimulated ourselves,
00:15:20.91\00:15:22.64
we've ratcheted
things up more and more,
00:15:22.67\00:15:25.62
even sexually we
kind of kicked things up.
00:15:25.65\00:15:28.61
All our entertainment,
00:15:28.64\00:15:30.02
our online stuff or socializing
24x7, we're doing gaming.
00:15:30.05\00:15:35.00
Our
entertainment is just you know,
00:15:35.03\00:15:37.13
like I'm watching
things get blown up,
00:15:37.16\00:15:38.97
and aliens and all
that kind of stuff.
00:15:39.00\00:15:40.57
And you know just
to-- we just don't know
00:15:40.60\00:15:42.80
how to kind of relax our
workaholism where you know,
00:15:42.83\00:15:45.87
we get all these
gadgets so we could work less
00:15:45.90\00:15:48.00
and now we're working more.
00:15:48.03\00:15:49.40
I mean, he really
talks a lot about that.
00:15:49.43\00:15:51.86
And so this season I invited
him to be on the program.
00:15:51.89\00:15:55.11
And he was almost on the
plane and then he cancelled.
00:15:55.14\00:15:59.07
Stop, I thought no way.
00:15:59.91\00:16:02.24
So you know, I
want to even set it up,
00:16:02.27\00:16:04.52
even though we
had to change gears.
00:16:04.55\00:16:06.76
You'll see that throughout each
of the programs this season is,
00:16:06.79\00:16:09.63
I wanted to look at, you
know, how do you reestablish
00:16:09.66\00:16:13.84
just kind of a normal thing?
00:16:13.87\00:16:15.76
How do you kind of kick
back in to a normal life?
00:16:15.79\00:16:20.16
How do I enjoy simple
things and friendships
00:16:20.19\00:16:23.19
and getting outside and-- Yeah.
00:16:23.22\00:16:25.25
Very, very, very important.
00:16:25.28\00:16:26.65
One of the things
that I saw in this year
00:16:26.68\00:16:29.55
and that I--you just sort
of mentioned one of the things
00:16:29.58\00:16:31.89
we need to recover from
really is our own inertia.
00:16:31.92\00:16:34.73
You know there's
this physical law
00:16:34.76\00:16:36.18
that says the body that's
at rest tends to stay at rest,
00:16:36.21\00:16:38.18
the body in motion
tends to stay at motion.
00:16:38.21\00:16:39.94
We're all in motion and we need
to tap the brakes a little bit.
00:16:39.97\00:16:43.67
You know, we need to
recover from our own life.
00:16:43.70\00:16:45.60
And you have some
people on this year
00:16:45.63\00:16:48.46
whose lives were
spiraling out of control,
00:16:48.49\00:16:51.55
they were just--
their own inertia was just
00:16:51.58\00:16:53.12
pushing them along this
path and the Lord had to get in
00:16:53.15\00:16:56.26
and tap the brakes for
them in some instances.
00:16:56.29\00:16:58.86
So we see that,
that's a very important part
00:16:58.89\00:17:01.97
of this whole
recovery thing to stop
00:17:02.00\00:17:04.68
and just take a
look at yourself,
00:17:04.71\00:17:06.08
where am I
going, what am I doing?
00:17:06.11\00:17:07.48
And let God heal all of
those things. Precisely.
00:17:07.51\00:17:10.28
We're gonna see a
couple of the programs
00:17:10.31\00:17:13.01
that we did this season.
00:17:13.04\00:17:14.41
Starting with the 100th episode,
00:17:14.44\00:17:16.82
a couple of my
friends came in from Australia
00:17:16.85\00:17:18.97
and from California
and heard their story
00:17:19.00\00:17:21.22
so I'm hoping you'll enjoy this.
00:17:21.25\00:17:23.29
Especially the first one
we celebrated a 100, yeah.
00:17:23.32\00:17:26.28
That is so cool.
00:17:26.31\00:17:29.06
So I want you to know that
00:17:29.09\00:17:30.48
when we come to
the end of the program,
00:17:30.51\00:17:32.39
when we do the close
like we typically do,
00:17:32.42\00:17:34.72
I'm gonna invite camera people,
00:17:34.75\00:17:36.48
I'm gonna invite
the administration,
00:17:36.51\00:17:38.32
I'm gonna invite
C.A. who's our producer,
00:17:38.35\00:17:40.59
I'm gonna invite everybody up
00:17:40.62\00:17:41.99
and we are really gonna close
this program with a celebration.
00:17:42.02\00:17:45.39
But right now I just
want to say thank you,
00:17:45.42\00:17:48.78
thank you, thank you, thank you.
00:17:48.81\00:17:50.63
And keep
watching. We're gonna break.
00:17:50.66\00:17:53.46
I'm gonna come
back with our guest.
00:17:53.49\00:17:54.86
Our guest today is my husband
00:17:54.89\00:17:57.40
and I love that
because you know,
00:17:57.43\00:17:59.41
when we first got married,
I thought I had all the issues
00:17:59.44\00:18:02.41
and I thought I was gonna
be dealing with a lot of stuff,
00:18:02.44\00:18:04.73
but he's had his own journey
00:18:04.76\00:18:06.13
and he's gonna share
some of that with you today.
00:18:06.16\00:18:08.17
He's also a musician.
00:18:08.20\00:18:10.08
He plays in the Philharmonic
and I asked him for this program
00:18:10.11\00:18:13.89
where we are celebrating,
00:18:13.92\00:18:16.36
if he would play
something for us.
00:18:16.39\00:18:17.90
And he chose a song
"To god be the glory."
00:18:17.93\00:18:21.21
Like, how cool is that?
00:18:21.24\00:18:22.61
Because that's
exactly the truth in recovery
00:18:22.64\00:18:25.06
as I can't take any glory.
00:18:25.09\00:18:26.46
I'm not smart enough
to take the next step,
00:18:26.49\00:18:29.09
but God is faithful in
every step I had to take.
00:18:29.12\00:18:31.82
So and they pulled
the ultrasound out.
00:18:31.85\00:18:33.65
And I'd had an
ultrasound at 12 weeks.
00:18:33.68\00:18:35.32
So I knew what was
like to see this little
00:18:35.35\00:18:37.88
you know, funny
looking alien thing.
00:18:37.91\00:18:40.28
You know, this little legs
moving around and little heart,
00:18:40.31\00:18:42.68
you know, beating
and there's no heart beat
00:18:42.71\00:18:45.17
and it was-- I
could see the baby,
00:18:45.20\00:18:47.81
but it was just still and
I knew, like I'm not stupid.
00:18:47.84\00:18:52.08
This, you know, what's
happened but it was like that
00:18:52.11\00:18:55.55
you know, because I had failed
a lot of things in my life
00:18:55.58\00:18:59.14
but I thought I would
never ever fail at being a mom.
00:18:59.17\00:19:01.97
And--so in-- even though I mean,
00:19:03.25\00:19:06.02
I kind of know
that time for you,
00:19:06.05\00:19:08.09
I can imagine
what it would feel like
00:19:08.12\00:19:10.06
because you had so much hope.
00:19:10.09\00:19:12.66
Oh yeah, I just stored
an old fashioned cradle
00:19:12.69\00:19:16.78
and you know, I was just
gonna love this kid you know.
00:19:16.81\00:19:20.52
And I'm saying to the doctor,
"Tell me, tell me, tell me."
00:19:20.55\00:19:24.44
And she just was silent
and I'm like, "Just tell me!"
00:19:24.47\00:19:28.33
like I yelled at
her and she said,
00:19:28.36\00:19:29.73
"I'm sorry, your baby's died."
00:19:29.76\00:19:31.61
Every year, every
year first year school,
00:19:31.64\00:19:34.38
first day of school,
00:19:34.41\00:19:35.78
I was over on the
smart side and I felt good.
00:19:35.81\00:19:37.86
I had my folder all ready
00:19:37.89\00:19:39.26
because you have
to get your paper
00:19:39.29\00:19:40.78
and your folders and your
tab, you know English reading,
00:19:40.81\00:19:43.10
spelling, all these little tabs.
00:19:43.13\00:19:44.88
And everything was
perfect and beautiful
00:19:44.91\00:19:46.63
and I'm gonna be
smart this year, you know.
00:19:46.66\00:19:49.60
And I would sit
over on the smart side
00:19:49.63\00:19:53.90
and then by the end of the week
00:19:53.93\00:19:56.47
I was back over
here on dumb side.
00:19:56.50\00:19:58.17
And I think some kids even said,
00:19:58.20\00:19:59.57
"You don't belong over
here." I said, "yes I do."
00:19:59.60\00:20:01.53
because I knew I was
gonna be smart this year.
00:20:01.56\00:20:03.26
And-- Because you
had all the stuff.
00:20:03.29\00:20:05.50
Yeah, everything was organized
00:20:05.53\00:20:06.90
and this year was
gonna be the year. And--
00:20:06.93\00:20:09.28
You know, I even saw
that you cheered up with that,
00:20:09.31\00:20:11.22
that pain is still
part of you at times?
00:20:11.25\00:20:14.91
That I'm--I've always tried
to fight that my whole life,
00:20:14.94\00:20:17.52
I don't want to be on that side
00:20:17.55\00:20:18.92
and I don't know
how to get out of it.
00:20:18.95\00:20:22.12
You know in
looking at that clip,
00:20:22.15\00:20:24.65
we were celebrating
not so much ourselves,
00:20:24.68\00:20:27.94
we were celebrating the
lives that were changed.
00:20:27.97\00:20:30.21
You know, we were celebrating
00:20:30.24\00:20:31.89
the fact that
God used the program
00:20:31.92\00:20:34.58
over these past eight
seasons to really touch
00:20:34.61\00:20:36.95
and impact lives in a
powerful way. Exactly.
00:20:36.98\00:20:39.53
Didn't you get a
sense on that day
00:20:39.56\00:20:40.93
that you wanted to
like reach in the camera
00:20:40.96\00:20:42.64
and just bring everybody?
00:20:42.67\00:20:44.05
If you've been touched
would you be here with us?
00:20:44.08\00:20:46.76
And in my mind I did
think of a number of folks
00:20:46.79\00:20:49.32
that have over the years.
00:20:49.35\00:20:50.72
There's a guy named Jamie
in Australia that was severe,
00:20:50.75\00:20:53.83
I mean, heroin addict and
every time I met with him,
00:20:53.86\00:20:56.65
because we've been
to Australia quite a bit
00:20:56.68\00:20:58.36
and they loved
the program over there
00:20:58.39\00:21:00.76
and every time I met with him,
00:21:00.79\00:21:02.16
he got--was looking
worse and worse and worse.
00:21:02.19\00:21:04.01
And the last time I saw
him I just looked at him
00:21:04.04\00:21:06.62
and his wife and
said, "You know what?
00:21:06.65\00:21:08.40
I think if I see you again
00:21:08.43\00:21:09.89
and you're not in
recovery, you will be dead."
00:21:09.92\00:21:12.78
And he got it
and got in recovery
00:21:12.81\00:21:14.88
and he's doing
that and I just thought
00:21:14.91\00:21:16.60
"Jamie, you need to be here,
you need to be standing here
00:21:16.63\00:21:19.83
and just
saying, 'You know, what?
00:21:19.86\00:21:21.31
I may look horrible right now
00:21:21.34\00:21:22.92
but I've been
clean for three months.'"
00:21:22.95\00:21:24.83
You know, what I mean?
00:21:24.86\00:21:26.23
How cool is
that. It's so amazing.
00:21:26.26\00:21:28.51
So it was an incredible
celebration. It really was.
00:21:28.54\00:21:31.38
I was so into it except
the only thing complaint
00:21:31.41\00:21:35.32
I have is that incredibly
large slice of cake you gave me.
00:21:35.35\00:21:38.18
I'm gonna be celebrating life
00:21:38.21\00:21:39.75
in recovery from
sugar addiction. Yeah.
00:21:39.78\00:21:42.40
But it was really
good. It was a great day.
00:21:42.43\00:21:44.60
And Brad got to
play trumpet. Yeah.
00:21:44.63\00:21:46.60
You know that was fun for
me because I just love him
00:21:46.63\00:21:49.43
and it was just a
cool time. It was.
00:21:49.46\00:21:53.01
You know when we started
this season with even Brad,
00:21:53.04\00:21:56.53
we talked about forgiveness
00:21:56.56\00:21:57.93
and we talked about
that this whole thing,
00:21:57.96\00:22:00.45
the underlying theme
of this season is that,
00:22:00.48\00:22:04.59
you know, what did you
chose to comfort yourself?
00:22:04.62\00:22:07.36
You know, that pleasure
center. What did I choose?
00:22:07.39\00:22:09.29
And early on,
sometimes we choose our anger.
00:22:09.32\00:22:11.54
And our anger motivates us.
00:22:11.57\00:22:13.77
Sometimes we choose
drugs, sometimes we choose sex,
00:22:13.80\00:22:16.16
sometimes its perfectionism,
eating disorders, food
00:22:16.19\00:22:19.05
and we're gonna cover a
little bit of all of that
00:22:19.08\00:22:22.69
in these different shows.
00:22:22.72\00:22:24.47
But what was amazing to me
is being able to look at it is,
00:22:24.50\00:22:27.36
like pay
attention to what you chose
00:22:27.39\00:22:29.44
because when you get
away from that addiction,
00:22:29.47\00:22:32.36
that little thing that drove
you initially is gonna jump up.
00:22:32.39\00:22:36.41
"Hey, did you forget about me?
00:22:36.44\00:22:38.09
I'm the fear that drove you,
I'm the anger that drove you."
00:22:38.12\00:22:42.15
And so it's like if
you don't address that,
00:22:42.18\00:22:45.21
you're gonna relapse.
00:22:45.24\00:22:46.61
And so being able to say,
00:22:46.64\00:22:48.01
"don't de
afraid to address that,
00:22:48.04\00:22:49.41
don't be afraid to say out loud,
00:22:49.44\00:22:51.66
you know, I'm
afraid or I'm angry
00:22:51.69\00:22:55.05
or I'm, you know,
have all of this junk,
00:22:55.08\00:22:57.42
I've never
belonged or whatever."
00:22:57.45\00:22:59.11
Because if you
hide those things,
00:22:59.14\00:23:01.19
you will seek pleasure,
you'll seek to comfort yourself,
00:23:01.22\00:23:04.81
you'll seek
something and most of the time
00:23:04.84\00:23:08.17
we're not smart enough to
seek things that are good.
00:23:08.20\00:23:10.73
You know give me a cake.
00:23:10.76\00:23:13.25
You know that's very
powerful and we saw that,
00:23:13.28\00:23:15.92
you know, okay, I
can see a drunk and say,
00:23:15.95\00:23:18.70
"That guy is a drunk."
00:23:18.73\00:23:20.10
You know, okay,
that's his band-aid. Yeah.
00:23:20.13\00:23:21.97
But mine may be judgmentalism
or working myself to death
00:23:22.00\00:23:24.70
or you know, so
everybody's got a band-aid,
00:23:24.73\00:23:26.68
you need to kind of
see what's under there.
00:23:26.71\00:23:28.22
You know, before you
just slap a band-aid on it
00:23:28.25\00:23:29.98
see what's going on
down there with that wound
00:23:30.01\00:23:32.23
and get some
real healing for that.
00:23:32.26\00:23:33.90
And it's very, very
important and very, very crucial
00:23:33.93\00:23:35.55
and we saw that in a number
if instances this year. Mm-hmm.
00:23:35.58\00:23:38.14
And what's really interesting
is if that's not true
00:23:38.17\00:23:40.47
then the Bible is
not true. Correct.
00:23:40.50\00:23:41.87
Because Bible says
"The best of the best of you
00:23:41.90\00:23:43.93
are like filthy
rags" and what God says,
00:23:43.96\00:23:46.26
"But I know that and
I delight in you." Yes.
00:23:46.29\00:23:49.70
"I want to show
you what it feels
00:23:49.73\00:23:51.10
like to stand up
without all the garbage."
00:23:51.13\00:23:53.81
And that's why I think
that all of heaven says,
00:23:53.84\00:23:55.90
"Would you just trust me?
00:23:55.93\00:23:57.71
Would you see the heart of God?
00:23:57.74\00:23:59.26
Would you see that
fact that I know you?"
00:23:59.29\00:24:02.92
You know, I could imagine, C. A.
00:24:02.95\00:24:04.41
that you know
God delights in you.
00:24:04.44\00:24:05.83
I mean, I've seen you
kind of ministering to people
00:24:05.86\00:24:08.75
and I think God must
be up there and like,
00:24:08.78\00:24:10.40
"I like that guy," you know.
00:24:10.43\00:24:12.34
You know and I know that
He feels that way about me
00:24:12.37\00:24:14.76
because He knows
where I've come from
00:24:14.79\00:24:16.16
and I think
sometimes He just smiles.
00:24:16.19\00:24:18.63
And I think that, that's what
we got to know in our addiction.
00:24:18.66\00:24:20.81
The next roll in
that we're gonna have
00:24:20.84\00:24:22.60
I think its hysterical because
between these three programs,
00:24:22.63\00:24:27.13
I think these guys have
done 150 years in prison
00:24:27.16\00:24:30.94
and now they're standing
up and trying to figure out
00:24:30.97\00:24:34.09
what drove me initially?
00:24:34.12\00:24:36.11
How do I surrender that?
00:24:36.14\00:24:37.53
And will you help me?
00:24:37.56\00:24:39.89
But he had to stay
in hospital for 7 days
00:24:41.75\00:24:44.37
and actually on
his day coming home,
00:24:44.40\00:24:47.12
he was supposed to
get released this day
00:24:47.15\00:24:49.03
and he was
supposed to come home,
00:24:49.06\00:24:50.43
you know, she had a
massive heart attack
00:24:50.46\00:24:52.13
and we lost her that day.
00:24:52.16\00:24:54.57
And you were in
your early teens.
00:24:54.60\00:24:56.57
Yeah, I was 18
by this time. Wow.
00:24:56.60\00:24:59.23
Yeah, I was 18.
00:24:59.26\00:25:01.93
And so did things
get worse for you,
00:25:01.96\00:25:05.97
because you said
like in high school
00:25:06.00\00:25:07.37
"I started planning gangs,
00:25:07.40\00:25:08.77
I started doing all
that kind of stuff?"
00:25:08.80\00:25:11.28
Then-- I will
say it did get worse,
00:25:11.31\00:25:13.45
everything became
real to me at that time
00:25:13.48\00:25:16.64
because you know my mother did
so hard in taking care of us,
00:25:16.67\00:25:21.07
you know, it was kind of like--
00:25:21.10\00:25:22.74
she was kind of like
my refuge and my shelter.
00:25:22.77\00:25:25.62
So I would actually tell myself
00:25:25.65\00:25:27.37
that I didn't ever
want to leave the house
00:25:27.40\00:25:29.03
so I didn't really want to
take on too much responsibility.
00:25:29.06\00:25:32.09
So when we lost her,
it was kind of reality hit
00:25:32.12\00:25:35.97
so hard that I will have
to do something in order to,
00:25:36.00\00:25:39.42
you know, take
where she left off. Right.
00:25:39.45\00:25:42.67
I got sanction for 5
years for the state of Kentucky.
00:25:44.96\00:25:48.85
I served about
two of them before.
00:25:48.88\00:25:50.88
I'm a parole and you
know all this emptiness inside
00:25:50.91\00:25:54.60
and I got to say that
when I started selling
00:25:54.63\00:25:57.98
cocaine initially, it
was because I was starving,
00:25:58.01\00:26:01.00
literaly lto death.
00:26:01.03\00:26:03.44
I would probably have
starved on the streets
00:26:03.47\00:26:05.62
if I had not entered
into that game at that time.
00:26:05.65\00:26:08.10
Because you were 16, left home,
00:26:08.13\00:26:10.05
didn't have a way to
support yourself. Right.
00:26:10.08\00:26:12.09
And so you picked up
what you knew. Right.
00:26:12.12\00:26:14.87
And so--but quickly it
became something different.
00:26:14.90\00:26:19.85
You know, after the first 3 days
of this out-of-town venture,
00:26:19.88\00:26:24.38
there was no longer a matter
of doing it for my survival
00:26:24.41\00:26:28.10
because I needed to
eat, but now there's--
00:26:28.13\00:26:30.30
and this how
quickly it happened.
00:26:30.33\00:26:31.70
It became this quest
for to be that guy. Right.
00:26:31.73\00:26:36.16
You know, I saw the potential
in it, people liked me,
00:26:36.19\00:26:37.76
I was good at it and
overnight I wasn't hungry
00:26:37.79\00:26:40.38
and overnight
instead of you know
00:26:40.41\00:26:41.89
trying to get something to
eat, I was trying to, you know,
00:26:41.92\00:26:44.74
be the producer of things
to eat or something, you know.
00:26:44.77\00:26:47.85
I needed him at that time.
00:26:49.05\00:26:50.86
I was there, didn't know
nobody way away from home
00:26:50.89\00:26:54.04
and I was just--
I was at the end,
00:26:54.07\00:26:56.96
you know, I said,
"Man, I got to do something."
00:26:56.99\00:26:59.31
Because I could have kept
going, but where was I gonna go?
00:26:59.34\00:27:02.49
How much further
down can you go, you know?
00:27:02.52\00:27:05.37
I mean, I'll never
make it home or I'll die.
00:27:05.40\00:27:07.66
People in there ODing and dying
00:27:07.69\00:27:09.49
and I'm thinking
"Man, that's next for me."
00:27:09.52\00:27:11.41
Right. That is
next and I knew it.
00:27:11.44\00:27:14.06
I love, you know, that
particular segment with,
00:27:14.09\00:27:17.91
you know, those three programs,
I thought it was so cool
00:27:17.94\00:27:20.42
because all of these men
had been in and out of gangs,
00:27:20.45\00:27:24.26
in and out of the system.
00:27:24.29\00:27:25.66
And I wanted to
just talk about Buddy.
00:27:25.69\00:27:27.46
Buddy was, you know, in and
out of jail most of his life.
00:27:27.49\00:27:30.54
He was raised by a dad
00:27:30.57\00:27:32.52
that spent most of
the time in prison,
00:27:32.55\00:27:35.59
escaped numerous
times but couldn't some home
00:27:35.62\00:27:38.80
because of course, the
police would go there first
00:27:38.83\00:27:40.94
and so that's kind
of how he was raised.
00:27:40.97\00:27:43.39
If he saw his dad, he went
into prison and saw his dad.
00:27:43.42\00:27:46.18
And so Buddy, when
he gets in the prison,
00:27:46.21\00:27:48.91
the first thing he does
is just look around and says
00:27:48.94\00:27:51.16
"How am I gonna
get drugs in here?
00:27:51.19\00:27:52.56
How am I gonna deal?
00:27:52.59\00:27:53.96
And people running
drugs for him on the street.
00:27:53.99\00:27:55.69
He cops a sentence in prison
for like another 50 years.
00:27:55.72\00:28:00.26
And so they finally
take him to a level 6 prison,
00:28:00.29\00:28:03.35
a new prison that
is like in Tennessee
00:28:03.38\00:28:05.57
that is built against a
mountain that he can't escape
00:28:05.60\00:28:09.63
and he's in solitary confinement
00:28:09.66\00:28:12.40
for probably
the rest of his life
00:28:12.43\00:28:14.39
just about he's gonna be there
and that's where he finds God.
00:28:14.42\00:28:18.30
How crazy is that?
00:28:18.33\00:28:19.70
And I'm thinking
"God, how patient are you?"
00:28:19.73\00:28:22.19
And I know most of us don't have
00:28:22.22\00:28:23.74
that ridiculous
journey like that.
00:28:23.77\00:28:26.43
But I think in some
sense, we all have that journey
00:28:26.46\00:28:29.65
where God is just--
He's so kind of after us
00:28:29.68\00:28:33.36
and we run, and we hide
and we're in these corners
00:28:33.39\00:28:36.58
and finally we just get
tired and like, okay. Yeah.
00:28:36.61\00:28:39.91
I think particularly
with these prison stories
00:28:39.94\00:28:41.93
and there are number of them.
00:28:41.96\00:28:43.63
And they're all very compelling.
00:28:43.66\00:28:45.11
One of the things I
think it highlights is,
00:28:45.14\00:28:46.52
"If you're hard of hearing,
00:28:46.55\00:28:48.26
then the Lord will turn
up the volume," you know.
00:28:48.29\00:28:50.23
And He'll increase the
volume until you can hear.
00:28:50.26\00:28:53.15
And if you need a hearing
aid He'll give you that too.
00:28:53.18\00:28:55.35
But sometimes the
Lord has to take some
00:28:55.38\00:28:57.23
extraordinary measures
just to get our attention.
00:28:57.26\00:29:00.82
And He did that in
many of these cases.
00:29:00.85\00:29:02.68
You know, you're in
level 6, you're in solitary,
00:29:02.71\00:29:04.65
you got a long stretch,
that's where you find the Lord.
00:29:04.68\00:29:07.30
Well, the Lord's there too.
00:29:07.33\00:29:08.70
Can you hear me now? Yeah.
00:29:08.73\00:29:11.21
You know, can you hear me now?
00:29:11.24\00:29:13.26
And you know what's
really interesting about even
00:29:13.29\00:29:17.85
because of this season what
we're looking at is "now what?"
00:29:17.88\00:29:20.99
You know you're standing up,
you're clean for the first time,
00:29:21.02\00:29:23.46
you're not
running, you're not playing,
00:29:23.49\00:29:24.86
and you're not the
guy anymore, now what?
00:29:24.89\00:29:27.39
What's that stuff
that comes from your head
00:29:27.42\00:29:29.63
and from your heart
that will not let you go
00:29:29.66\00:29:32.48
and can you
surrender that to God?
00:29:32.51\00:29:34.39
And it was-- it's interesting
00:29:34.42\00:29:35.91
you can see
that in these stories
00:29:35.94\00:29:37.66
that there's either fear
00:29:37.69\00:29:39.51
or abandonment or
that sense of rage.
00:29:39.54\00:29:42.75
You know, life is not
fair and all of those thing are
00:29:42.78\00:29:46.38
you know they
really wrap around our soul
00:29:46.41\00:29:48.44
or wrap around our
hearts and it's at that point
00:29:48.47\00:29:50.47
in recovery that God
says, "That will kill you."
00:29:50.50\00:29:53.73
Forgive the people
around you, let that go.
00:29:53.76\00:29:56.59
Even if you have to
write down on a piece of paper,
00:29:56.62\00:29:59.14
"This is what I believe,
00:29:59.17\00:30:00.88
what does the devil want me
to know or think about that?"
00:30:00.91\00:30:03.81
And the devil's
strategy is to take you out
00:30:03.84\00:30:06.86
and then write next to
it write what does God say?
00:30:06.89\00:30:09.58
And either look at in the
word or shut your eyes and pray
00:30:09.61\00:30:12.92
and let the Holy
Spirit say what I say
00:30:12.95\00:30:15.18
is you're my child.
00:30:15.21\00:30:17.01
This is a very important aspect
00:30:17.04\00:30:18.65
that you've
touched on, you know.
00:30:18.68\00:30:20.05
Okay, what's been driving
all these years is your rage,
00:30:20.08\00:30:23.02
your addiction,
this get-over mentality
00:30:23.05\00:30:25.96
you know everybody you see
as a mark or somebody get over.
00:30:25.99\00:30:29.10
Now you jettisoned all of that.
00:30:29.13\00:30:31.58
Now you're kind of
this plain sheet of paper
00:30:31.61\00:30:34.05
with no writing on it,
well, what do I do now?
00:30:34.08\00:30:36.33
You know, now I'm not
trying to get over you,
00:30:36.36\00:30:38.97
I want to be honest with you.
00:30:39.00\00:30:40.37
Now I'm not trying to cheat
you, I want to honest with you.
00:30:40.40\00:30:41.77
How do I run my life?
00:30:41.80\00:30:43.17
I'm out of prison,
I've got a new start,
00:30:43.20\00:30:45.15
I got no skills
or minimal skills.
00:30:45.18\00:30:47.03
All I got is Jesus, you
know and I got to roll with that
00:30:47.06\00:30:49.92
because that's my reality now.
00:30:49.95\00:30:52.29
That's all I got, I
don't have those tools,
00:30:52.32\00:30:54.23
those games I used to play.
00:30:54.26\00:30:55.63
None of that stuff anymore.
I'm divested of all that stuff.
00:30:55.66\00:30:57.99
Now I got he Lord and so
for prisoners or ex-prisoners
00:30:58.02\00:31:01.89
or those who will
become ex-prisoners,
00:31:01.92\00:31:03.82
this season is important
because it addresses that.
00:31:03.85\00:31:06.23
Exactly. You know, you
see people who've come out.
00:31:06.26\00:31:08.50
I got to start all over
again, how do I do that?
00:31:08.53\00:31:11.33
And, you know, what's
really interesting about
00:31:11.36\00:31:14.02
a number of these
guys or all of them in fact
00:31:14.05\00:31:16.48
that we saw on the roll in,
00:31:16.51\00:31:17.88
they're all doing
ministry right now.
00:31:17.91\00:31:19.28
They're all
reaching out to someone else.
00:31:19.31\00:31:21.63
Even there's two
brothers that were in gangs
00:31:21.66\00:31:24.60
in most of their life
and they lived in these areas
00:31:24.63\00:31:27.76
where you know
there's crack houses
00:31:27.79\00:31:30.23
and a house would catch
on fire, half of it burns
00:31:30.26\00:31:32.79
and you're in the
lower income area, in Detroit
00:31:32.82\00:31:36.19
and you know they live
where they walk by these houses,
00:31:36.22\00:31:38.55
nobody takes them
down, nobody rents them,
00:31:38.58\00:31:40.47
people live in
there and use drugs,
00:31:40.50\00:31:41.94
everybody knows that.
00:31:41.97\00:31:43.34
They're selling
drugs on the street.
00:31:43.37\00:31:44.74
These kids jump into
that, you know, as soon as
00:31:44.77\00:31:46.85
they're old
enough to run anything
00:31:46.88\00:31:48.39
like sometimes 9, 10 years old.
00:31:48.42\00:31:50.85
And so they're going back
to the hood and trying to say,
00:31:50.88\00:31:53.86
"Let's do a community garden"
00:31:53.89\00:31:55.42
and they're getting money
from people like the mayor.
00:31:55.45\00:31:57.85
Let's write a grant
00:31:57.88\00:31:59.82
so that we can get
these kids to do something.
00:31:59.85\00:32:01.77
Let's put a basketball
court on that property
00:32:01.80\00:32:04.56
that had that burned out house.
00:32:04.59\00:32:06.39
And they're doing things
that they knew that they needed
00:32:06.42\00:32:08.61
as a kid and I'm
thinking good on you, for that.
00:32:08.64\00:32:11.11
How cool are you for that. Yeah.
00:32:11.14\00:32:12.77
And so it is that get up,
surrender those deeper fears,
00:32:12.80\00:32:17.55
that stuff that
drove you to seek after
00:32:17.58\00:32:20.05
whatever the
comfort was and then ask God
00:32:20.08\00:32:22.78
"What are you gonna do
with me?" Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:32:22.81\00:32:25.59
And you'll be
surprised because He knows
00:32:25.62\00:32:27.68
what's on that
blank sheet of paper.
00:32:27.71\00:32:29.33
He knows who you are. yeah.
00:32:29.36\00:32:30.73
He's known you since the
foundations of the world.
00:32:30.76\00:32:33.19
He knows you the
day after resurrection.
00:32:33.22\00:32:35.27
Don't define yourself
about what happens here,
00:32:35.30\00:32:38.60
because He says,
"Let me define you."
00:32:38.63\00:32:40.43
And that's the
most incredible thing,
00:32:40.46\00:32:42.04
I think about
this season is that
00:32:42.07\00:32:43.99
you know we're
looking at is the core stuff.
00:32:44.02\00:32:47.29
How do I surrender
that? How do I give that up?
00:32:47.32\00:32:50.42
That is very compelling
and I need to say to you
00:32:50.45\00:32:52.66
because you spoke
here recently and it was--
00:32:52.69\00:32:55.87
you were really
anointed, it was powerful,
00:32:55.90\00:32:57.69
very powerful
Sabbath morning message.
00:32:57.72\00:33:00.31
And after that one of the
00:33:00.34\00:33:02.54
participants in your
program was in the audience.
00:33:02.57\00:33:04.92
And I was saying to
him, you needed to hear that
00:33:04.95\00:33:07.40
because he's at that point.
00:33:07.43\00:33:09.24
He's out of prison, he has
this history that's pretty bad
00:33:09.27\00:33:13.47
and he's aware of his history.
00:33:13.50\00:33:15.57
He's trying to free himself
00:33:15.60\00:33:16.97
from the
consequences of his history.
00:33:17.00\00:33:18.63
He's leaning on the
Lord, but he's hesitant about
00:33:18.66\00:33:21.04
going forward
because he doesn't know
00:33:21.07\00:33:22.95
where Christ wants him.
00:33:22.98\00:33:24.60
And I think at
the back of his mind
00:33:24.63\00:33:26.00
he doesn't know if
Christ wants him in ministry.
00:33:26.03\00:33:29.36
Or if the church
wants him. Precisely.
00:33:29.39\00:33:31.61
And I think listening to
you said something to him
00:33:31.64\00:33:34.05
because it said-- it does say
00:33:34.08\00:33:36.66
"Regardless of
what your history is
00:33:36.69\00:33:38.28
or where you've
been or what you've done,
00:33:38.31\00:33:39.68
Jesus can use you.
00:33:39.71\00:33:41.08
And he can use that same history
00:33:41.11\00:33:42.60
to become a powerful testimony
to his ability to reach down
00:33:42.63\00:33:47.34
and pluck people
from the burning."
00:33:47.37\00:33:50.10
And if that is the only message
that this season delivers,
00:33:50.13\00:33:54.27
then it is message
enough because it's powerful.
00:33:54.30\00:33:56.48
Yeah, it is. That's enough.
00:33:56.51\00:33:57.88
And, you know, this guy
that you're talking about
00:33:57.91\00:34:00.17
came up to me after the sermon.
00:34:00.20\00:34:01.62
He's in tears, he's trying
to turn away from everybody
00:34:01.65\00:34:04.16
because he's like 6'6"
and he's like a refrigerator.
00:34:04.19\00:34:07.52
I mean, that guy is
huge and he has to say,
00:34:07.55\00:34:10.63
"But I'm afraid." Yeah.
00:34:10.66\00:34:12.40
And you know what?
How do you say that?
00:34:12.43\00:34:13.95
And that's where I
think the devil gets us,
00:34:13.98\00:34:16.73
is that we're so afraid to
say what the core issues are
00:34:16.76\00:34:20.82
that we're gonna
keep ourselves in bondage.
00:34:20.85\00:34:23.05
Don't do that. Yeah.
00:34:23.08\00:34:24.45
And even the program that we've
put together for the churches
00:34:24.48\00:34:26.36
is being able to say
is that "don't do that."
00:34:26.39\00:34:29.15
We're gonna look at the stuff,
we're gonna surrender the stuff
00:34:29.18\00:34:31.25
and you are gonna be free.
00:34:31.28\00:34:32.65
And that's just cool. Yeah.
00:34:32.68\00:34:34.52
The next roll in
we're gonna look at--
00:34:34.55\00:34:35.92
let me think of who's on that.
00:34:35.95\00:34:37.90
Oh, you know, I love this one.
00:34:37.93\00:34:39.74
We're gonna look at
Melody, Miracle Meadows,
00:34:39.77\00:34:43.64
which is a group of kids from
an at-risk tratement center.
00:34:43.67\00:34:47.08
They always want to join us
because they're just amazing.
00:34:47.11\00:34:50.46
And we're gonna look at G.A.P.
00:34:50.49\00:34:52.20
The G.A.P. program which
is Grandparents As Parents.
00:34:52.23\00:34:55.21
And well you know we'll talk
about that when we come back.
00:34:55.24\00:34:58.07
You'll enjoy this.
00:34:58.10\00:34:59.47
Melody lost like a
100 pounds, I love her.
00:34:59.50\00:35:01.95
Yeah, I love this
program, Food Versus God.
00:35:01.98\00:35:04.16
In this corner we got
food, in this corner we got God.
00:35:04.19\00:35:07.25
You know, and God's gonna win
00:35:07.28\00:35:08.65
and He surely
won in Melody's life.
00:35:08.68\00:35:10.05
That's a great
program. Exactly, enjoy this.
00:35:10.08\00:35:13.49
And I have to say, I
married at 17 years old.
00:35:13.52\00:35:16.34
So I was a very, very
young girl, very active,
00:35:16.37\00:35:19.62
I loved to run and
play tennis and swim.
00:35:19.65\00:35:22.82
You know, I just
didn't know how to stop.
00:35:22.85\00:35:24.81
And I never had a problem
with eating too much food
00:35:24.84\00:35:27.35
when I was hungry. Right.
00:35:27.38\00:35:29.14
So then I get
married at 17 years old
00:35:29.17\00:35:31.38
and that's when
everything started to change.
00:35:31.41\00:35:33.74
You know your body is changing.
00:35:33.77\00:35:35.14
Here I am, you
know, I got married
00:35:35.17\00:35:36.79
and I got pregnant right
away after I was married.
00:35:36.82\00:35:39.65
And I went to this
totally different life.
00:35:39.68\00:35:42.77
And you know I'm
looking back on it now,
00:35:42.80\00:35:44.29
I didn't see it then, Cheri.
00:35:44.32\00:35:46.45
But here I am 17
years old, I'm married.
00:35:46.48\00:35:49.91
I didn't have
access to my friends,
00:35:49.94\00:35:52.52
the people I
went to school with--
00:35:52.55\00:35:53.92
Everything changed for
you. Everything changed for me.
00:35:53.95\00:35:56.42
I became a woman who
sat at home, watched TV,
00:35:56.45\00:35:59.83
had nothing to do
till my husband got home.
00:35:59.86\00:36:02.26
And ate.
00:36:02.29\00:36:04.38
And what else
there was to do? Yeah.
00:36:04.41\00:36:06.52
I was adopted at the age of 4.
00:36:06.55\00:36:09.61
Beforehand I was with my
birth mother who was single
00:36:09.64\00:36:13.89
and addicted to drugs
and alcohol and everything.
00:36:13.92\00:36:16.78
And she wasn't
taking care of me.
00:36:16.81\00:36:18.56
There'll be often
times where she passed out,
00:36:18.59\00:36:21.24
you know she just leaved me.
00:36:21.27\00:36:22.64
So you kind of
were taking care of her.
00:36:22.67\00:36:24.23
Yeah, as a little girl.
00:36:24.26\00:36:25.69
And I'd been in and
out of the foster program.
00:36:25.72\00:36:27.63
And there was the time where,
you know, she was told that
00:36:27.66\00:36:31.59
she needs to complete the
rehab program or give up me.
00:36:31.62\00:36:35.52
And she gave up me.
00:36:35.55\00:36:38.90
You know when you're saying that
00:36:38.93\00:36:40.30
it sounds like it's
an easy thing to say
00:36:40.33\00:36:41.88
but it can't have
been that easy to feel.
00:36:41.91\00:36:44.85
No, this actually took me
quite a long time to actually
00:36:44.88\00:36:49.43
accept the fact that it
wasn't my fault for the adoption
00:36:49.46\00:36:52.55
and to realize that you know
God's using me for a purpose
00:36:52.58\00:36:56.99
and that my past is my
past and I've to step forward.
00:36:57.02\00:37:00.32
And not till this
last year, well half year
00:37:00.35\00:37:03.77
that I started
working with myself
00:37:03.80\00:37:05.60
and getting rid
of that past hurt.
00:37:05.63\00:37:08.03
You would have to have
a grandmother right now
00:37:08.06\00:37:12.37
whose daughter
is on heroin. Yeah.
00:37:12.40\00:37:14.62
And she has-- this
daughter walked away
00:37:14.65\00:37:18.08
early part of December and
left this 4-month-old with her.
00:37:18.11\00:37:22.12
And because the
grandmother--now,
00:37:22.15\00:37:24.09
she's taking the
kid to the doctor.
00:37:24.12\00:37:25.89
So she's building a paper trail.
00:37:25.92\00:37:28.82
But right now the daughter
continues to get the support.
00:37:28.85\00:37:32.43
And when the grandmother
went to the family services
00:37:32.46\00:37:37.00
they said, "We haven't
heard from your daughter.
00:37:37.03\00:37:39.30
We don't know that she
doesn't have the child."
00:37:39.33\00:37:41.28
She's like, "But I have the
child right here," you know.
00:37:41.31\00:37:45.20
So until she could build a case
00:37:45.23\00:37:49.88
to say that she actually
is taking care of the child,
00:37:49.91\00:37:53.54
then she can't even
get food stamps or work
00:37:53.57\00:37:57.27
or just some of those basic
things to take care of the kid.
00:37:57.30\00:38:00.65
And so when the
grandmother contacted us,
00:38:00.68\00:38:04.00
United Way had
suggested they call us
00:38:04.03\00:38:05.96
and she was just looking
for a baby bed for the child.
00:38:05.99\00:38:11.85
You know, I love the
kids from Miracle Meadows.
00:38:11.88\00:38:14.99
But you know, when
they come on the program,
00:38:15.02\00:38:17.34
they are so young and so damaged
00:38:17.37\00:38:19.28
and they really do
want to come on and join us,
00:38:19.31\00:38:22.03
but you can see
that in their testimonies
00:38:22.06\00:38:23.69
and you know that
you are stepping in the--
00:38:23.72\00:38:25.96
sometimes in the
first part of their journey
00:38:25.99\00:38:28.52
and there's lot
of people around them
00:38:28.55\00:38:30.18
trying to walk
them into recovery.
00:38:30.21\00:38:32.38
And so when they tell the story,
00:38:32.41\00:38:34.73
sometimes you'll look
at them and say, you know,
00:38:34.76\00:38:36.49
"Wow, there's so much damage,
but man, they are being loved
00:38:36.52\00:38:39.69
and they're being
brought to a place
00:38:39.72\00:38:41.32
where they can surrender
that, they can talk about that,
00:38:41.35\00:38:44.14
they're finishing school,
they're surrounded by people
00:38:44.17\00:38:47.11
that really adore them and
know what that they're doing."
00:38:47.14\00:38:49.35
And I'm just
crazy about these kids.
00:38:49.38\00:38:51.60
But the next
program that we saw was
00:38:51.63\00:38:53.85
Grandparents as Parents
00:38:53.88\00:38:55.25
and a lot of
these are adopted kids,
00:38:55.28\00:38:57.14
they're being
raised by grandparents.
00:38:57.17\00:38:59.23
And so I put on
Facebook, I just said
00:38:59.26\00:39:01.37
"You know, how big
of an issue is that?"
00:39:01.40\00:39:03.64
You know and I
couldn't believe that.
00:39:03.67\00:39:06.49
I think I got over a
100 people just saying,
00:39:06.52\00:39:09.73
I'm raising my kid's children
or my daughter is in prison
00:39:09.76\00:39:14.16
or so and so is in rehab.
00:39:14.19\00:39:15.87
And so I went online
and I just put the stats.
00:39:15.90\00:39:19.49
And two million kids plus
are been raised by grandparents
00:39:19.52\00:39:23.81
in the United States
because of addiction things.
00:39:23.84\00:39:26.60
And so when you say
somebody is gonna grab
00:39:26.63\00:39:29.22
an addictive substance
to deal with their pain,
00:39:29.25\00:39:32.98
a lot of these
kids are gonna do that
00:39:33.01\00:39:35.43
because of the
craziness in their home.
00:39:35.46\00:39:37.45
And so I asked, I call
the program called GAP,
00:39:37.48\00:39:40.29
Grandparents as Parents.
00:39:40.32\00:39:41.69
I asked them, would you come
on and talk to us about that.
00:39:41.72\00:39:44.90
And they came on
and I just love them.
00:39:44.93\00:39:47.32
And I love what they're doing.
00:39:47.35\00:39:49.59
When I was pasturing,
all my time in New York city,
00:39:49.62\00:39:53.53
I would dare say
around 10% of my membership
00:39:53.56\00:39:56.93
was grandparents taking care
or their children's children
00:39:56.96\00:40:00.46
for whatever reason.
00:40:00.49\00:40:01.86
Sometimes there was a
divorce and there was,
00:40:01.89\00:40:04.14
you know, some acrimony there
and the grandparents got them or
00:40:04.17\00:40:07.20
sometimes there was
some incarceration issues.
00:40:07.23\00:40:10.30
All kinds of
things like children
00:40:10.33\00:40:11.70
end up with their grandparents
00:40:11.73\00:40:13.32
and it's much bigger I
think than people believe,
00:40:13.35\00:40:16.00
particularly in the
cities and in the suburbs too
00:40:16.03\00:40:17.76
and in rural settings.
00:40:17.79\00:40:19.83
But there are some particular
challenges when a person
00:40:19.86\00:40:22.66
who really should be
kind of in the rocking chair
00:40:22.69\00:40:24.55
or a lazy boy,
kind of taking it easy,
00:40:24.58\00:40:26.36
is actively raising a 10, a 12,
a 15, a 17-year-old it's tough.
00:40:26.39\00:40:31.86
It's really
tough, where you know,
00:40:31.89\00:40:33.40
one woman was on the
program and she said,
00:40:33.43\00:40:36.52
"You know, I'm raising
five of my grandchildren
00:40:36.55\00:40:39.28
from two different families."
00:40:39.31\00:40:40.81
One daughter is
incarcerated with drugs,
00:40:40.84\00:40:43.24
the other one got murdered.
00:40:43.27\00:40:44.64
And, so, she's
got these grandbabies
00:40:44.67\00:40:46.71
and she has some operations
that she needs to have done
00:40:46.74\00:40:49.33
and she says, "I just
can't stop to do those."
00:40:49.36\00:40:51.53
Mm-hmm. And so it is tough.
00:40:51.56\00:40:52.93
And as grandparents,
they don't get financial aid
00:40:52.96\00:40:56.08
the same way as a parent would.
00:40:56.11\00:40:58.09
They are not recognized in
a lot of different categories
00:40:58.12\00:41:01.32
and so they are raising
them on like retirement funds
00:41:01.35\00:41:04.82
or those kind of
things and so they're really--
00:41:04.85\00:41:07.02
it was really cool to give
that voice and just to say,
00:41:07.05\00:41:10.93
you know, we see
you and God Bless You.
00:41:10.96\00:41:13.62
Okay. Who would think?
00:41:13.65\00:41:15.02
And I salute you for that.
00:41:15.05\00:41:18.11
And let me-- I'm just very happy
00:41:18.14\00:41:20.88
what God is doing with
your life, you know, really.
00:41:20.91\00:41:22.99
I mean, just I don't get
a chance to say that and,
00:41:23.02\00:41:24.48
you know, between, you
know, our paths cross a lot
00:41:24.51\00:41:27.37
but not for long
stretches of time. Yeah.
00:41:27.40\00:41:29.35
But who would think, you
know, to put a program on
00:41:29.38\00:41:33.39
grandparent
parenting in a Celebrating Life
00:41:33.42\00:41:38.26
and Recovery kind of format?
00:41:38.29\00:41:39.66
That's almost like I forgot,
who's gonna address that issue?
00:41:39.69\00:41:42.03
Who's gonna talk about that?
00:41:42.06\00:41:43.43
And yet there are hundreds
of thousands of grandparents
00:41:43.46\00:41:46.42
who are doing just that.
00:41:46.45\00:41:47.82
Where's their voice?
Who's gonna speak to them?
00:41:47.85\00:41:49.47
And that's what
we did this season,
00:41:49.50\00:41:50.87
we addressed that
issue, well done. Thank you.
00:41:50.90\00:41:53.56
And you know,
we've had grandparents
00:41:53.59\00:41:55.01
just in tears
saying thank you. Yeah.
00:41:55.04\00:41:56.98
They, you know,
they want to be seen.
00:41:57.01\00:41:58.65
"You know, we have
our own recovery issues
00:41:58.68\00:42:01.06
because of this now."
00:42:01.09\00:42:02.52
It's huge. Yeah.
00:42:02.55\00:42:03.92
Thank you C.A.
That was way cool.
00:42:03.95\00:42:05.79
I appreciate that,
I'm a grandparent now.
00:42:05.82\00:42:07.68
And I--I must say I
have limited capacity.
00:42:07.71\00:42:10.80
I'm not the
prototypical grandparent.
00:42:10.83\00:42:13.15
My wife has, she is
excellent, Erma is just great.
00:42:13.18\00:42:17.14
I--couple hours, 4 to
5 hours, maybe overnight
00:42:17.17\00:42:20.35
and then I kind of,
I fatigue a little bit,
00:42:20.38\00:42:22.57
but she's got stamina.
00:42:22.60\00:42:23.97
So for all you grandparents
out there, God Bless You.
00:42:24.00\00:42:26.88
Watch that show because
you'll get some pointers,
00:42:26.91\00:42:28.94
you'll get some tips and you
also know that you're not alone.
00:42:28.97\00:42:31.30
There are hundreds of thousands
of people just like you
00:42:31.33\00:42:33.87
who have been
called on an ongoing basis.
00:42:33.90\00:42:35.93
I get to send mine home,
00:42:35.96\00:42:37.33
you know, but
on an ongoing basis
00:42:37.36\00:42:39.09
to raise their grandchildren.
00:42:39.12\00:42:40.49
It is not tough, our
prayers are with you.
00:42:40.52\00:42:42.30
And even, you know,
what was really interesting
00:42:42.33\00:42:44.29
before we go into
the next roll in is
00:42:44.32\00:42:46.66
what I thought was
incredible is just to be able to
00:42:46.69\00:42:49.65
look at the camera
and say to the church,
00:42:49.68\00:42:51.25
if you see a
grandparent with kids,
00:42:51.28\00:42:53.34
the lot of times
they're not telling you that
00:42:53.37\00:42:54.79
they're raising these kids.
00:42:54.82\00:42:57.22
Love on them, invite them home,
00:42:57.25\00:43:00.06
you know, ask if
you need any help,
00:43:00.09\00:43:02.75
that kind of stuff, be
aware of the people around you.
00:43:02.78\00:43:05.54
Because we all kind of
walk in and we look good.
00:43:05.57\00:43:08.98
And we look good. Yeah.
00:43:09.01\00:43:10.38
The kids look good. Right.
00:43:10.41\00:43:11.78
Everybody's hair is
done. You know, what I mean?
00:43:11.81\00:43:13.18
But you don't know what trauma
or drama preceded all of that.
00:43:13.21\00:43:15.36
Exactly, and so you
know, my plead on this segment,
00:43:15.39\00:43:21.14
on this season is for
us to look at each other.
00:43:21.17\00:43:25.09
Yeah. Look at each other.
00:43:25.12\00:43:26.91
Because the best of the best
of us have issues, you know.
00:43:26.94\00:43:29.85
And we have issues
that where lot of times
00:43:29.88\00:43:32.10
I'm not gonna tell
you about and God--
00:43:32.13\00:43:34.00
but God doesn't say
that, because He says,
00:43:34.03\00:43:35.68
"Confess to one
another, pray for each other,
00:43:35.71\00:43:37.65
love one another and kind
of unpack all that stuff,"
00:43:37.68\00:43:41.62
but we really haven't
gotten that part of it.
00:43:41.65\00:43:43.59
So this season I'm praying
that we get that part of it--
00:43:43.62\00:43:45.65
Praise the
Lord. With each other.
00:43:45.68\00:43:47.44
The next roll in that
we're gonna see is Ashley David
00:43:47.47\00:43:51.98
and I got a cancellation
on a program and I thought,
00:43:52.01\00:43:55.93
"What am I gonna do?" The
cancellation was like the.
00:43:55.96\00:43:58.00
You know, we're setting up,
people are behind the cameras,
00:43:58.03\00:44:01.56
the cancellation happened
00:44:01.59\00:44:02.97
and Shelley
walks down the hallway,
00:44:03.00\00:44:04.93
you know, it was
lucky it wasn't you.
00:44:04.96\00:44:07.42
It was Shelley walks
down the hallway and I'm like,
00:44:07.45\00:44:09.33
"Shelley, would
you be on the program?"
00:44:09.36\00:44:11.01
So we had Shelley Quinn come in
and I was blessed by the honesty
00:44:11.04\00:44:17.13
of what she presented
to us of her own journey.
00:44:17.16\00:44:19.93
So enjoy this.
00:44:19.96\00:44:22.63
And I was so
broken, I walked out to--
00:44:22.66\00:44:24.94
there was a bridge near
the mall at where I'd been.
00:44:24.97\00:44:28.08
And I stood on the
bridge and it was--
00:44:28.11\00:44:30.65
I don't how far
above the water it is,
00:44:30.68\00:44:32.52
but it's one of the
New York City bridges
00:44:32.55\00:44:34.34
and I was gonna jump off.
00:44:34.37\00:44:35.74
Right then and
there I had decided
00:44:35.77\00:44:38.06
and I started arguing
with God, of all the things.
00:44:38.09\00:44:41.06
I'm arguing with God
about "Why I'm gonna do this?"
00:44:41.09\00:44:43.74
And I'm telling Him, "God,
it's not you it's me, really.
00:44:43.77\00:44:47.19
It's not your fault."
I don't want you to feel
00:44:47.22\00:44:48.76
bad about this. Yes.
00:44:48.79\00:44:50.16
"It's not your fault
that I'm gonna commit suicide.
00:44:50.19\00:44:51.96
You didn't do
anything. This is on me.
00:44:51.99\00:44:53.38
I just can't make
it work anymore." Yeah.
00:44:53.41\00:44:55.65
And I heard God in my head
going, "Don't, don't do it."
00:44:55.68\00:45:00.82
And I'm like
"You don't understand.
00:45:00.85\00:45:03.17
I can't do it
anymore, I'm tired."
00:45:03.20\00:45:05.76
And I said, "God, I
need a different life."
00:45:05.79\00:45:08.17
And He goes,
"If you don't do it,
00:45:08.20\00:45:09.98
I'll give you a different life."
00:45:10.01\00:45:12.17
And I'm standing there going,
"Well, what have I got to lose?"
00:45:12.20\00:45:17.17
You know, and I go "Okay, God,
00:45:17.20\00:45:19.08
you're gonna have
to fix everything,
00:45:19.11\00:45:21.43
because I've just completely
messed it up at this point."
00:45:21.46\00:45:24.12
No, I just-- You
haven't killed anybody.
00:45:24.15\00:45:26.19
At that point, right. Yeah.
00:45:26.22\00:45:27.59
And it wasn't for
the lack of not trying,
00:45:27.62\00:45:30.99
you know, what I mean?
00:45:31.02\00:45:32.39
If a car-- if
somebody took off--
00:45:32.42\00:45:33.79
And one thing you
just say that, so casually.
00:45:33.82\00:45:37.21
It was--it is--
That was the lifestyle.
00:45:37.24\00:45:39.64
It is through that lifestyle
you are somewhat desensitized
00:45:39.67\00:45:43.36
to the inhumanity of
it, of what's going on.
00:45:43.39\00:45:46.68
So I mean I don't
say it in a cavalier way,
00:45:46.71\00:45:48.95
but I did deal with it
and it wasn't in my mind like
00:45:48.98\00:45:54.62
I know how people think today
00:45:54.65\00:45:56.51
what you were
referring to normal people
00:45:56.54\00:45:58.52
because I've been around
with lot of normal people now
00:45:58.55\00:46:01.29
and I know they
think differently
00:46:01.32\00:46:02.75
because they don't understand
how could you do that.
00:46:02.78\00:46:05.06
Right. So how could
you even think that way?
00:46:05.09\00:46:07.65
If somebody was
somewhat reluctant to give me
00:46:07.68\00:46:12.09
what I was
taking, I would, you know,
00:46:12.12\00:46:14.78
you would attack
him and assault him.
00:46:14.81\00:46:16.77
You know, I don't
want to get too graphic,
00:46:16.80\00:46:18.20
but you would actually--
No, no, you're setting this out.
00:46:18.23\00:46:22.07
I'm not leaving without it.
00:46:22.10\00:46:24.14
And I must take everything
I need to take to get it."
00:46:24.17\00:46:27.15
So if you want to, you know,
how far do you want this to go?
00:46:27.18\00:46:32.25
And I've used a phrase before,
00:46:32.28\00:46:33.87
you know, when I would
be doing robberies at time,
00:46:34.68\00:46:36.69
you know,
telling people, you know,
00:46:36.72\00:46:38.18
"Let's not have
this be a homicide.
00:46:38.21\00:46:40.00
You know, don't cause
this to be a homicide.
00:46:40.53\00:46:43.05
Just get this
stuff up." Just relax.
00:46:43.08\00:46:45.50
I just kept trying to be perfect
and my mother would tell me,
00:46:45.94\00:46:49.30
you know, "You never
needed me as a child.
00:46:49.33\00:46:52.49
You've always been perfect
00:46:52.52\00:46:53.89
and that's why I
love your sister more.
00:46:53.92\00:46:56.10
So when she would
have these episodes,
00:46:56.13\00:46:59.03
any animosity she felt
toward my father came out to me
00:46:59.06\00:47:03.62
and it all ended up on me.
00:47:03.65\00:47:05.64
So you get this
barrage of stuff that's like--
00:47:05.67\00:47:08.14
Oh, yeah, Because I
mean, you know, I'm,
00:47:08.17\00:47:10.94
I mean it doesn't,
00:47:10.97\00:47:12.34
I don't want to paint a
horrible picture of my mother,
00:47:12.37\00:47:14.84
but I've been
pulled around the house
00:47:14.87\00:47:16.68
by the hair on my head,
00:47:16.71\00:47:18.08
I've been pretty, you know,
things would get very intense.
00:47:18.11\00:47:22.13
You know, Cheri,
one of the themes
00:47:22.16\00:47:23.53
that have sort of
weaved its way through
00:47:23.56\00:47:25.36
all of the programs this
year was pulling off the patina,
00:47:25.39\00:47:28.31
taking off the mask,
00:47:28.34\00:47:29.72
not being afraid
to say I'm afraid.
00:47:29.75\00:47:32.13
Not being afraid to
say sometimes I cry,
00:47:32.16\00:47:34.83
sometimes I feel very
alone in a crowed room,
00:47:34.86\00:47:38.96
I have this big bad
persona, but under--
00:47:38.99\00:47:43.78
there's a song "The
Warrior is a Child,"
00:47:43.81\00:47:45.27
you know, deep inside this armor
00:47:45.30\00:47:47.05
that I'm just a human being
00:47:47.08\00:47:48.80
who's gotten hurt
and trying to heal.
00:47:48.83\00:47:50.83
And that's very, very real.
00:47:50.86\00:47:52.50
And I think that
in what God says is
00:47:52.53\00:47:56.32
"I want you to know that
you have to be that real."
00:47:56.35\00:48:00.58
And when we talk
about emptying self,
00:48:00.61\00:48:02.61
you know, you empty that out,
00:48:02.64\00:48:04.36
I think that we are sometimes
unclear about what that means,
00:48:04.39\00:48:07.24
but it's just get to the point
00:48:07.27\00:48:08.89
where the core
issues are the core issues.
00:48:08.92\00:48:11.47
Because if I'm
even going to a doctor
00:48:11.50\00:48:13.80
and I'm just telling him
all the superficial stuff,
00:48:13.83\00:48:15.95
he can keep
trying to get to heal me.
00:48:15.98\00:48:19.69
But eventually
he's gonna have to know,
00:48:19.72\00:48:21.22
"Oh, it's my heart."
00:48:21.25\00:48:22.62
You know, and
God says, you know,
00:48:22.65\00:48:24.02
these core issues
are really a big deal."
00:48:24.05\00:48:26.01
You know, in that
segment we're talking about,
00:48:26.04\00:48:29.09
Ashley is a friend
of mine from church and,
00:48:29.12\00:48:31.79
you know, we were
talking and she's, you know,
00:48:31.82\00:48:33.91
she's raised by her
grandparents, you know,
00:48:33.94\00:48:35.80
she's in and out
of different things,
00:48:35.83\00:48:37.83
she's got step family,
she's doesn't fit in anywhere,
00:48:37.86\00:48:40.90
she gets so angry by
the time she goes to school
00:48:40.93\00:48:44.33
that she's thinking
nobody is gonna accept me that,
00:48:44.36\00:48:46.61
the people don't accept her.
00:48:46.64\00:48:48.01
Because you're
angry and you're you know,
00:48:48.04\00:48:49.41
you act that way
and you're mad at us
00:48:49.44\00:48:51.49
and we didn't do anything
and so then she gets angrier
00:48:51.52\00:48:54.66
and she doesn't fit in
and then starts doing drugs
00:48:54.69\00:48:57.64
and then she gets into this
whole culture called vampirism.
00:48:57.67\00:49:02.92
Have you heard of
that? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
00:49:02.95\00:49:04.85
And so you know, where literally
00:49:04.88\00:49:06.52
they are drinking
each other's blood
00:49:06.55\00:49:08.17
and cutting
each other and so now
00:49:08.20\00:49:10.79
not only does she not
fit in, but she's getting
00:49:10.82\00:49:13.11
deeper and deeper and
deeper into this kind of satanic
00:49:13.14\00:49:17.18
subculture and so you know,
how does she come to a place
00:49:17.21\00:49:21.95
that she gets free of that?
00:49:21.98\00:49:24.72
And you know, God
just says, you know,
00:49:24.75\00:49:26.37
we want to look at
the behavioral stuff.
00:49:26.40\00:49:28.22
We really want
to come in and say,
00:49:28.25\00:49:30.99
you know, well,
you can't do drugs
00:49:31.02\00:49:33.01
and you can't
drink someone's blood.
00:49:33.04\00:49:34.87
You know, there are clubs that
you can go in and order blood.
00:49:34.90\00:49:39.54
I mean, it's just
bizarre how big that culture is,
00:49:39.57\00:49:41.85
but you can't do
that or you can't do drugs
00:49:41.88\00:49:44.58
or you can't beat your
wife or you can't whatever.
00:49:44.61\00:49:47.46
But you know, for her,
the bottom line as soon as
00:49:47.49\00:49:50.01
things started
dropping away and she realized
00:49:50.04\00:49:53.03
that she was going to trust God,
00:49:53.06\00:49:55.36
is she was so afraid
and so--feeling so unloved
00:49:55.39\00:49:59.33
and like I don't belong anywhere
00:49:59.36\00:50:01.08
and first of all God
had to fill--fix that wound
00:50:01.11\00:50:04.70
and then she had
to step into a church
00:50:04.73\00:50:06.33
and trust that
the people around her
00:50:06.36\00:50:08.69
are going to help
her with that wound.
00:50:08.72\00:50:10.85
You know, it's
interesting because
00:50:10.88\00:50:12.77
in this particular segment,
00:50:12.80\00:50:14.17
you had two individuals
who because of the lifestyle,
00:50:14.20\00:50:18.31
you know, you can look
at some individuals and say,
00:50:18.34\00:50:19.91
you know, bad, Ashley, bad, bad,
no drinking blood, you know.
00:50:19.94\00:50:22.37
You know, it's
bad, bad, it's very bad.
00:50:22.40\00:50:24.97
Or we can say,
what's driving this?
00:50:25.00\00:50:28.37
Where's the real pain?
Because this is just a band-aid.
00:50:28.40\00:50:31.62
You know, this is
Satan reaching out
00:50:31.65\00:50:33.16
and taking your dysfunction
00:50:33.19\00:50:34.81
and using it for
your destruction.
00:50:34.84\00:50:37.04
Let's get to the real issue.
00:50:37.07\00:50:38.78
And she found that,
00:50:38.81\00:50:40.58
you know, she came in
timid and she praised God,
00:50:40.61\00:50:44.30
came to a fellowship
that accepted her as--
00:50:44.33\00:50:47.25
people bring, you know,
we've talked about this.
00:50:47.28\00:50:49.09
Well, people bring
junk. People bring stuff.
00:50:49.12\00:50:51.03
Nobody comes in whole. yeah.
00:50:51.06\00:50:53.06
And we can't sit back and say,
00:50:53.09\00:50:54.46
"Oh my God, you
bad, bad person."
00:50:54.49\00:50:56.19
We gotta say "How could Jesus
00:50:56.22\00:50:59.30
use me as an
instrument to help you?"
00:50:59.33\00:51:02.02
And that's-- How can
I speak life into her?
00:51:02.05\00:51:03.62
Precisely, yeah.
00:51:03.65\00:51:05.02
The next one is
David Casey, you know,
00:51:05.05\00:51:06.77
and you talked about that
and you know he's out of prison,
00:51:06.80\00:51:09.37
he's been in and
out his whole life.
00:51:09.40\00:51:10.83
The longest he was out
was couple weeks at a time
00:51:10.86\00:51:12.98
and he's got so much rage
that his power is his rage.
00:51:13.01\00:51:16.93
And now the Bible
says, "Don't be angry." Yeah.
00:51:16.96\00:51:20.35
What? What do you mean?
00:51:20.38\00:51:22.20
Because that's
where I got my power.
00:51:22.23\00:51:23.77
That's why people
respect me because I'm angry.
00:51:23.80\00:51:26.33
Right. I could take them out.
00:51:26.36\00:51:28.00
And, yeah, now God is saying,
00:51:28.03\00:51:29.55
"I want you to
surrender that to me."
00:51:29.58\00:51:32.09
And now he has to say,
00:51:32.12\00:51:34.14
"But underneath
that anger is fear.
00:51:34.17\00:51:37.04
Even though I'm a big guy,
00:51:37.07\00:51:39.08
people pay attention
when I walk in the room,
00:51:39.11\00:51:40.78
but I've got this
stuff" and that's the healing.
00:51:40.81\00:51:43.40
The deep healing
is gonna be that.
00:51:43.43\00:51:46.61
Shelley, you know, I
know her and I love her
00:51:46.64\00:51:50.42
and you know, she is just an
00:51:50.45\00:51:52.33
incredible woman
of God in ministry
00:51:52.36\00:51:54.20
and but you know, she
was raised with her mom
00:51:54.23\00:51:57.25
with mental illness, she
dealt with perfectionism,
00:51:57.28\00:52:00.41
always had to be
perfect and do the right thing
00:52:00.44\00:52:03.12
even to the point of
having to look at God and say,
00:52:03.15\00:52:05.89
"God, do you expect that of me?"
00:52:05.92\00:52:08.37
And when I let go
of that perfectionism,
00:52:08.40\00:52:12.88
what do I do? yeah.
00:52:12.91\00:52:14.28
Who am I? Right, yeah.
00:52:14.31\00:52:15.68
And you know,
and we're thinking,
00:52:15.71\00:52:17.08
"No it's good that
you're working so hard."
00:52:17.11\00:52:18.71
Well, it's not. It's not.
00:52:18.74\00:52:20.39
You know. Yeah, yeah.
00:52:20.42\00:52:21.79
It probably looks
better than me slamming heroin,
00:52:21.82\00:52:24.17
but we're in the same bondage.
00:52:24.20\00:52:25.69
Yeah, but it's still
dysfunction, it is. Yes.
00:52:25.72\00:52:27.18
You know, so go back to
David, just a little bit.
00:52:27.21\00:52:32.30
In listening to your
description of the show
00:52:32.33\00:52:36.32
and also in talking with
him on a couple of occasions,
00:52:36.35\00:52:40.49
it's like Samson's
strength was his hair
00:52:40.52\00:52:44.32
and when his hair was
cut, he had no strength.
00:52:44.35\00:52:47.08
David's strength
was his rage. Yeah.
00:52:47.11\00:52:49.77
And now, when
you come to the Lord,
00:52:49.80\00:52:52.98
the Lord--that's the
first thing He takes away.
00:52:53.01\00:52:54.58
He takes away that anger.
00:52:54.61\00:52:55.98
So now you don't
have any strength.
00:52:56.01\00:52:57.77
You have no motivation.
00:52:57.80\00:52:59.21
And I thought about that,
here's this really huge guy
00:52:59.24\00:53:02.88
who is
intimidating just by his form,
00:53:02.91\00:53:05.34
but he said it "When
I went on a prison yard,
00:53:05.37\00:53:07.47
nobody messed with me." Yeah.
00:53:07.50\00:53:08.87
Didn't say anything to me.
00:53:08.90\00:53:10.27
It was like this guy
will just take you out.
00:53:10.30\00:53:11.67
He will kill you.
00:53:11.70\00:53:13.07
So now he didn't have that rage,
00:53:13.10\00:53:14.47
so now where does my
life force come from?
00:53:14.50\00:53:17.14
Where does my energy to get up
00:53:17.17\00:53:19.04
and face the
challenges each day,
00:53:19.07\00:53:20.46
because it's not rage anymore.
00:53:20.49\00:53:22.18
Now I'm surrendered,
00:53:22.21\00:53:23.82
so now I got to get
a new motivating force.
00:53:23.85\00:53:26.36
And I've got a really tap
into the power of Jesus Christ.
00:53:26.39\00:53:29.46
And that's where he
finds himself, you know,
00:53:29.49\00:53:32.15
sort of making
that connection-- Amen.
00:53:32.18\00:53:34.06
To tapping into the power
of Jesus Christ and I told him,
00:53:34.09\00:53:37.60
when we talked
on Sabbath, I said,
00:53:37.63\00:53:39.00
"God's got
something good for you, man.
00:53:39.03\00:53:40.85
Just walk with Him,
it's coming, it's coming.
00:53:40.88\00:53:43.75
Let the Lord use you."
He's showing you who you are.
00:53:43.78\00:53:45.15
Yeah, he was showing,
00:53:45.18\00:53:46.55
because he doesn't
know who he is now.
00:53:46.58\00:53:47.95
I've been a
prisoner all my life,
00:53:47.98\00:53:49.35
I've been the big dog.
00:53:49.38\00:53:50.75
Not a big dog anymore, I'm
just a servant of the Lord.
00:53:50.78\00:53:52.90
That's a different
role for him. Child of God.
00:53:52.93\00:53:54.30
Child of God, yeah.
00:53:54.33\00:53:55.70
We'll be right
back, stay with us.
00:53:55.73\00:53:57.39