Welcome to
Celebrating Life In Recovery.
00:00:11.12\00:00:12.50
I'm Cheri your host!
00:00:12.53\00:00:13.62
Have you ever done something
that you can't take back?
00:00:13.65\00:00:15.85
It is done, the
consequences are here.
00:00:15.88\00:00:17.97
What does God do with that?
00:00:18.00\00:00:19.48
I think that it's exciting.
00:00:19.51\00:00:20.99
Come in and join us at
the Café and I think you are
00:00:21.02\00:00:23.20
going to be so
blessed on this one.
00:00:23.23\00:00:24.92
We talk about self-esteem,
self image and I came off of
00:00:52.53\00:00:58.31
the streets and off of all that.
00:00:58.34\00:00:59.52
I started working in a
mental health hospital.
00:00:59.55\00:01:01.99
I should have been a
patient, but I wasn't.
00:01:02.02\00:01:04.56
I was working there.
00:01:04.59\00:01:05.62
I start to realize that
people were talking about what
00:01:05.65\00:01:09.04
you think about and
what goes through your head.
00:01:09.07\00:01:11.69
So I started to do some
kind of research and at the time
00:01:11.72\00:01:15.56
they were saying that you
need to have affirmations and
00:01:15.59\00:01:19.78
tell yourself some cool things.
00:01:19.81\00:01:21.20
Like somebody told me,
Cheri just look in the mirror
00:01:21.23\00:01:25.38
and say, I am sweet.
00:01:25.41\00:01:27.21
I thought oh, gag me, and
I hate to say that because
00:01:27.24\00:01:30.75
I can't even say that
because it didn't work for me.
00:01:30.78\00:01:33.54
To some people sweet
may sound good to them,
00:01:33.57\00:01:35.48
it didn't sound good to me.
00:01:35.51\00:01:36.57
It sounded crazy and
then I realize that every time
00:01:36.60\00:01:40.46
I said something good,
I am okay, I'm beautiful,
00:01:40.49\00:01:45.88
I'm whatever, I'm a woman.
00:01:45.91\00:01:48.68
I could say
something, a simple truth,
00:01:48.71\00:01:50.61
and all of a sudden
00:01:50.64\00:01:51.93
my mind would be flooded
with all these negative things.
00:01:51.96\00:01:54.91
What is really funny to me
is that now I know there is a
00:01:54.94\00:01:57.92
research center a UCLA.
00:01:57.95\00:01:59.56
It is stories high, fifteen
stories high and the entire
00:01:59.59\00:02:03.78
research Center is studying
the brain and what we tell
00:02:03.81\00:02:07.95
ourselves, the things that
we let just go into our minds.
00:02:07.98\00:02:12.53
We speak every minute
about 150 to 200 words a minute.
00:02:12.56\00:02:17.91
Right? I could speak that much.
00:02:17.94\00:02:19.49
I probably could
speak more than that, but!
00:02:19.52\00:02:21.17
But we think about
1300 words a minute.
00:02:21.20\00:02:25.29
So most of those
thoughts, I'm going to ask you,
00:02:25.32\00:02:28.06
are most of them
positive or negative?
00:02:28.09\00:02:29.75
Because it is really
weird, I used to ask people,
00:02:29.78\00:02:31.76
in the mental health hospital
that I worked in, pretend you
00:02:31.79\00:02:34.66
have a beeper on and every
time you say something about
00:02:34.69\00:02:37.77
yourself that is not
good, the beeper goes off.
00:02:37.80\00:02:40.85
I say, what does
your beeper sound like?
00:02:40.88\00:02:42.79
Somebody said it's
nonstop, it like lit up.
00:02:42.82\00:02:46.42
I'm thinking what if you
are walking through a mall,
00:02:46.45\00:02:48.84
what would it sound like?
00:02:48.87\00:02:50.28
They said, nonstop
again, it just would be lit up.
00:02:50.31\00:02:52.70
So the object, when I was
in mental health, was to stop
00:02:52.73\00:02:56.48
the beeper from going off,
to stop the negative thinking.
00:02:56.51\00:02:59.44
I thought that we
could do that on our own.
00:02:59.47\00:03:02.07
What I realized is that we
need to do that with God's help.
00:03:02.10\00:03:05.67
That our self image, our
self talk, or self-esteem is
00:03:05.70\00:03:09.05
also a gift from God.
00:03:09.08\00:03:11.04
I can't figure it out,
because I am so tweaked,
00:03:11.07\00:03:13.73
I'm just so tweaked.
00:03:13.76\00:03:16.98
Let me introduce my guest
first and then I want to tell
00:03:17.01\00:03:21.14
you a story, Barbara Wise.
00:03:21.17\00:03:22.36
Thank you so much
for being on the program.
00:03:22.39\00:03:24.22
- Thank you for having me here.
00:03:24.25\00:03:25.43
When I say that about our
self talk, does that make sense?
00:03:25.46\00:03:29.08
What we tell
ourselves - yes it does.
00:03:29.11\00:03:31.31
I deal with the self talk
all the time and I have in my
00:03:31.34\00:03:35.85
past had all those messages
going on, that I didn't even
00:03:35.88\00:03:40.05
realize until you have some big
events in your life that make
00:03:40.08\00:03:43.47
you aware of all the negative
things you are saying and
00:03:43.50\00:03:46.31
how much that is destroying all
the joy that God has for you.
00:03:46.34\00:03:50.60
- totally destroyed
- it just destroys you.
00:03:50.63\00:03:53.24
Somebody says, does
it make a difference?
00:03:53.27\00:03:55.17
I was in Florida one time
doing a youth event, and what
00:03:55.20\00:03:59.89
you tell yourself
you're whole body will respond.
00:03:59.92\00:04:02.94
I was doing a youth event
and I was the first speaker in
00:04:02.97\00:04:05.20
the morning and I'm
getting up around seven o'clock
00:04:05.23\00:04:08.20
even earlier because
the Sun hadn't got up.
00:04:08.23\00:04:10.80
In Florida, I had not
been to Florida and there was a
00:04:10.83\00:04:12.78
camp ground in Florida, so
it looks like I was in a jungle.
00:04:12.81\00:04:16.38
They had these big old
tropical plants and I'm thinking
00:04:16.41\00:04:19.23
how cool is it and I are
walking to where I am supposed
00:04:19.26\00:04:22.10
to talk and it felt like
about a half a mile away.
00:04:22.13\00:04:26.04
It probably wasn't that
far but I just felt like it was
00:04:26.07\00:04:28.13
and I was walking in this jungle
thing and thinking this is
00:04:28.16\00:04:31.30
cool and the sun is not
up, how amazing is this and
00:04:31.33\00:04:34.38
I am having a great time.
00:04:34.41\00:04:35.83
All of a sudden a lion about
five feet away just roared,
00:04:35.86\00:04:41.57
and I'm thinking
I'm going to be killed.
00:04:41.60\00:04:44.39
I didn't even know
they had lions in Florida.
00:04:44.42\00:04:46.54
I could feel my whole,
I feel my pupils dilate,
00:04:46.57\00:04:50.08
I could feel my
heart just pounding.
00:04:50.11\00:04:52.30
I knew I was going
to be ripped to shreds.
00:04:52.33\00:04:54.66
I'm walking and thinking
this is so crazy, and I am an
00:04:54.69\00:04:57.70
addict, so I
immediately think what do I do.
00:04:57.73\00:05:01.71
Do I throw myself on the
ground? No, that's a bear.
00:05:01.74\00:05:04.45
If I throw myself down
on the ground with a lion it
00:05:04.48\00:05:06.62
would just drag me
away so I'm not doing that.
00:05:06.65\00:05:09.19
So I'm thinking of all the
stuff and the only conclusion
00:05:09.22\00:05:12.72
I could came to is that I would
pretend I didn't hear that.
00:05:12.75\00:05:15.45
So I kept walking, and
then it roared again and
00:05:15.48\00:05:21.66
I thinking it is right
there, it couldn't of been
00:05:21.69\00:05:24.70
5 feet away from me.
00:05:24.73\00:05:25.86
Behind a tree just right there.
00:05:25.89\00:05:27.40
I'm dying, by the time I
got to were the building was I
00:05:27.43\00:05:32.46
am so freaked out I want
to just get into the building
00:05:32.49\00:05:35.58
so that it wouldn't eat me.
00:05:35.61\00:05:37.24
So you know that eats the
speaker and the teenager show
00:05:37.27\00:05:39.99
up and your
ripped up on the porch,
00:05:40.02\00:05:41.67
it would just be disgusting.
00:05:41.70\00:05:43.22
I'm trying to get in and
the door is locked and I'm
00:05:43.25\00:05:45.97
thinking are you kidding me?
00:05:46.00\00:05:47.42
I'm dying, I'm dying
and the door is locked.
00:05:47.45\00:05:51.38
I'm thinking these poor
kids and I'm going to be killed.
00:05:51.41\00:05:53.73
My heart is just pounding
when all of a sudden somebody
00:05:53.76\00:05:56.72
pulls into the driveway
in the parking lot and I run
00:05:56.75\00:05:59.37
over and it's this guy Martin.
00:05:59.40\00:06:02.33
He is this incredible
speaker and he had invited me,
00:06:02.36\00:06:06.84
and I said, did you hear that?
00:06:06.87\00:06:09.82
Because it had just
roared again, did you hear that?
00:06:09.85\00:06:12.30
What are we going to do, you
didn't tell me there was lions.
00:06:12.33\00:06:15.85
I'm talking a hundred miles
an hour and he starts laughing.
00:06:15.88\00:06:19.06
I'm thinking what
are you laughing at?
00:06:19.09\00:06:20.91
This is not funny, this is
not funny I'm having, this is
00:06:20.94\00:06:23.91
horrible, I'm dying here
and I don't want to be killed.
00:06:23.94\00:06:27.63
I didn't realize I
didn't want to be killed,
00:06:27.66\00:06:29.21
but when a lion is
that close you realize that.
00:06:29.24\00:06:31.27
He starts laughing and says,
Cheri, the zoo is right there.
00:06:31.30\00:06:34.69
I'm thinking oh
man, so the lion is just
00:06:34.72\00:06:39.85
waking up, it's in a cage.
00:06:39.88\00:06:41.37
All of a sudden
my self talk changed.
00:06:41.40\00:06:44.18
But I had one moment where
I thought I was going to be
00:06:44.21\00:06:47.44
killed, the next moment
I knew that we are all safe
00:06:47.47\00:06:49.56
and this is silly.
00:06:49.59\00:06:50.98
But most of us go through
all our lives with this talk
00:06:51.01\00:06:56.00
that is horrible, I am
not worth anything, if anybody
00:06:56.03\00:07:00.78
knew, and you leave that
kind of underlying thing that
00:07:00.81\00:07:03.68
you tell yourself.
00:07:03.71\00:07:05.00
We don't think it affects us,
00:07:05.03\00:07:06.31
it affects every
part of who we are.
00:07:06.34\00:07:08.22
There is a point in our
recovery that I have to say God,
00:07:08.25\00:07:11.42
I don't even know the lies
I told myself, I don't even
00:07:11.45\00:07:15.03
know what is going on with
all that kind of stuff, but
00:07:15.06\00:07:18.20
as a gift from You, please
start teaching me who I am.
00:07:18.23\00:07:22.87
Not who I think I am, not
who other people think I am,
00:07:22.90\00:07:27.33
but who am I?
00:07:27.36\00:07:28.90
As soon as I started
doing that, and God said you are
00:07:28.93\00:07:32.97
my child, you
are incredible to Me.
00:07:33.00\00:07:35.10
Everything that I
delighted in you are.
00:07:35.13\00:07:38.50
I want a relationship with you.
00:07:38.53\00:07:41.65
As I started letting that
soak in, I could stand up in
00:07:41.68\00:07:47.36
the holy of Holies,
in the presence of God
00:07:47.39\00:07:49.33
and belong there, live there.
00:07:49.36\00:07:51.84
You have blessed me in
so many different ways,
00:07:51.87\00:07:56.30
so many different ways.
00:07:56.33\00:07:57.72
As a woman of God I want to
say that I am glad you are here.
00:07:57.75\00:08:04.07
I know that your
Ministry is powerful.
00:08:04.10\00:08:06.77
Let us know a little bit
about where you came from, and
00:08:06.80\00:08:09.79
then we are
going to do something
00:08:09.82\00:08:10.85
a little bit different.
00:08:10.88\00:08:11.91
I want to then step off
of the set altogether and let
00:08:11.94\00:08:17.13
you do a presentation that I
have seen and was blessed by.
00:08:17.16\00:08:20.62
I would like to have
you do it for us and then
00:08:20.65\00:08:23.06
I'll come back
and talk about that.
00:08:23.09\00:08:24.63
But who are you?
Where are you from?
00:08:24.66\00:08:26.50
My name is Barbara Wise.
00:08:26.53\00:08:28.16
I'm from Denver
Colorado and I have been sharing
00:08:28.19\00:08:33.14
my personal story
for the last six years.
00:08:33.17\00:08:35.75
I have spoken to hundreds
of thousands of young people,
00:08:35.78\00:08:39.40
all ages all across
the country, in Europe.
00:08:39.43\00:08:43.02
It is really a
message of how God sees me,
00:08:43.05\00:08:48.30
how God has said
who I am in Christ.
00:08:48.33\00:08:51.80
It's not always how
you have seen yourself.
00:08:51.83\00:08:53.76
Not always I've seen myself
in Christ, I had a different
00:08:53.79\00:08:57.22
picture and because of
the picture I had of myself,
00:08:57.25\00:08:59.68
and the thoughts I believed
about myself and my identity
00:08:59.71\00:09:04.08
and who I was, I acted
and made choices that just
00:09:04.11\00:09:08.12
lived out what I
was thinking basically.
00:09:08.15\00:09:11.45
Now that Christ has helped
me to see who I am, it just
00:09:11.48\00:09:17.81
started changing my
thoughts and I keep my focus on
00:09:17.84\00:09:20.66
His love, and His view of me.
00:09:20.69\00:09:22.70
I can bring a very hopeful
story, even though there is
00:09:22.73\00:09:27.07
all of these things in
my story that may not seem
00:09:27.10\00:09:29.27
hopeful, there is so much hope.
00:09:29.30\00:09:31.17
And what's really fun when you
even say that is I know there
00:09:31.20\00:09:35.49
is different parts in the Bible
that I love and one of them
00:09:35.52\00:09:37.72
is this image, I
think it is Zephaniah 3:17,
00:09:37.75\00:09:42.15
where it talks about,
I sing over you at night.
00:09:42.18\00:09:46.49
I'm like stop, are you
kidding me, You sing over me?
00:09:46.52\00:09:51.42
My husband is a musician so
I am surrounded by musicians
00:09:51.45\00:09:54.39
and vocalists, but I
never thought that God being so
00:09:54.42\00:09:59.66
delighted in who we
are as His children,
00:09:59.69\00:10:01.97
that He can't stand
first just to go to bed.
00:10:02.00\00:10:04.45
He says I want to tuck
you in and sing over you.
00:10:04.48\00:10:07.64
I want you to feel that
peace and the only thing that
00:10:07.67\00:10:10.63
stops us from feeling
that is our own barrage
00:10:10.66\00:10:14.59
of negative stuff.
00:10:14.62\00:10:16.21
He says let Me
take that from you.
00:10:16.24\00:10:18.12
Let Me, all the lies, all
the stuff that the world has
00:10:18.15\00:10:21.36
said about you, all the
stuff that even in a crisis
00:10:21.39\00:10:24.50
people are saying about
you, let Me take that from you
00:10:24.53\00:10:28.04
and let Me speak into your life.
00:10:28.07\00:10:29.65
We're going to go ahead
and break, I want to come back
00:10:29.68\00:10:34.92
Barb, and have you do the
presentation that I have seen
00:10:34.95\00:10:38.70
you do, and you do all
over the world and I want you
00:10:38.73\00:10:42.30
to be blessed by it.
00:10:42.33\00:10:43.42
This is one of those stories,
journeys, testimonies that
00:10:43.45\00:10:48.88
when I heard it,
it changed my life.
00:10:48.91\00:10:51.97
When I met them I just
thought, I want everyone else to
00:10:52.00\00:10:57.16
go away I don't want to share
their time at all with anybody.
00:10:57.19\00:11:00.30
But today we are
going to share with you,
00:11:00.33\00:11:02.77
so stay with us we
will be right back!
00:11:02.80\00:11:04.27