Welcome back!
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I got to say that one
of my favorite chapters,
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in the Bible is Psalm 51.
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Psalms 51 goes into
the reality of who we are.
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Man I'm a mess, and
I just can't believe
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You can wash me clean.
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You can take all
this stuff and change me.
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The first time I
read it I just wept.
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Everybody, you know I
try to act like a grown up
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when I read the Bible,
but some parts of this,
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some of the promises
that God is telling us,
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it absolutely
will cause you to weep.
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And the one part of Psalms
51 talks about, I have been
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guilty since the womb.
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I've been guilty my
whole life, my parents were
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born and sin and
guilt and addiction.
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I'm telling you, I
don't know if anybody has this
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experience but, for 3 or
4 generations my family have
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been out to lunch
and doing all this stuff.
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And so it says, whatever
you decide about Me is fair.
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I'm like, oh man!
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And I had to know in my heart,
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and that's absolutely the truth.
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God said, I decide
that I want you in recovery.
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I decide that I
want you to have a life.
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He goes on to Psalms 51
and it says, create in me a
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clean heart, renew
a right spirit in me.
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God says I'll do that,
all you have to do is stay in
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communication with Me.
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We are talking about
prayer and you can label it
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whatever you want, we
have labeled the prayer.
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It's communication with
God, create in me a new heart,
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don't take what I am learning
away from me and help me
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to walk out of all this junk.
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A one introduce you to a
friend of mine Matthew Gamble.
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I just love you, I have
loved you since the first time
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I found you on the web.
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I was like, this
is the real deal.
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This is a guy that I
could actually go up to and just
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say this is what I'm
dealing with, can you help me?
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I want you to tell us
who you are and why would an
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addict feel that way about you?
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That I'm real - yes!
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Well that is a great question.
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I just think that I
have been around the block
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a little bit with,
if you want to call it,
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being out in the world.
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Now being a
follower of Jesus Christ.
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I've been in the church -
you could tell us that you
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wouldn't have said it that way.
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Well I just saying
that, even being in the church
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when I first came into
a relationship with Jesus
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it seem like I was
hit over the head with
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a bunch of rules or regulations.
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So I tried to live that
life and just trying to live,
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in essence, a perfect life.
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It is almost like I
replaced my bad behavior with
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good behavior, but I
was still leaving God out of
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the picture, if
that makes sense.
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God just kept working
on my heart and revealing
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to me Matthew you
don't have it all together
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like you may think you do.
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I think that is why
people find me to be real is
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that I tried to be as
authentic as I can before God,
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first and foremost,
and with other people that
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I come in contact with.
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God just brought me to
that place where I recognize,
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look I'm no
better than anybody else.
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So when you say that
is like the story I talked
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about with the addict,
and all the sudden the addict
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comes from all this
stuff and gets on his knees
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and says, bestow on me.
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Right! Yeah you come
and start doing things,
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and I feel like it is
really an important thing for
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people to hear, that God
doesn't want us just to replace
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our bad behaviors with now
what bunch of good behaviors,
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and that's our
ticket for salvation.
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It's much more, it's
having a relationship with Jesus
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Christ, that's the
first and foremost.
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That's the
untwisting kind, coming out of
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all that junk, so you are new.
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Right! That you are
actually walking as an
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authentic person before God.
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So where did you come from?
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I was born outside
of Boston Massachusetts
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to 2 parents,
Bill and Susan Gamble.
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It was kind of a home
that was loosely Catholic.
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I say loosely because
we went to church on Easter
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and Christmas every
year, and that was about it.
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We would always be
the last ones to church,
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and the first ones to leave.
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Church was not a
big part of our lives.
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We never prayed
together at home.
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We never read the Bible at home.
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I remember at one point
seeing a Good News Bible
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up on the shelf, but
church and God just was
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never really part of our lives.
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At the age of 5, this is
the first time I ever remember
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sinning, which was a
big deal for a 5-year-old.
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But I am 5 years old
and I'm at the grocery store
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with my mom and we
are in the checkout line.
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She is putting the
groceries up on little belt,
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to bring the groceries
to check out, and I see
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the Tic Tacs on the candy row.
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- And they put it
right kids eye level.
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Exactly, and so I am
sitting there looking at,
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staring at these
candies, and I want the candies.
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If the craziest thing
because in my journey as a
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follower of Christ, a
look back on this point.
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It was a pivotal
point my life as a sinner,
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as an addict, as a
rebellious person because the
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very same emotion,
feelings, everything that was
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going in my 5-year-old
brain then, still happens
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when I'm tempted to this day.
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- That's
interesting - it really is!
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So I'm looking at these candies,
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and I'm mommy I want the candy.
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She said, no you can't
have the candy you'll have
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too much sugar, you
don't eat the candy.
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So she is checking out, or
whatever the groceries down
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the conveyor belt, and
all of a sudden my heart rate
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started going up and I
started looking around...
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- your casing out the place.
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I want to have that candy.
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So a long story short,
I grabbed the Tic Tacs and
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threw them in my
pocket, and I had a sense
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right there, a kind of
rush, man I got the candy.
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I'm victorious, I won
and I've got the candy.
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I'm going to have it.
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We are walking out of the
store and my mom, if you are
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ever, if you are ever
going to steal as a kid, don't
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steal Tic Tacs, because
they make noise when you walk.
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So she's like
Matthew, what are you doing?
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What's in your pocket, and
guess what my response was?
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Nothing in my pocket mama.
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So now I've not only
stolen these Tic Tac's,
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but now my mom, I'm
lying straight to her face
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trying to cover my tracks.
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But I was caught
because she heard them.
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There it began, my
journey into just rebellion.
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If there are rules
around or regulations around,
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I was at times,
quick to break them.
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If I was told I
couldn't have something,
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it almost made me or
enticed me that much more.
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- how am I going to get this?
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So some years past and
we moved down to Atlanta
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and I was rolling around
one day on my BMX with my
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buddies and we stumbled
onto a construction site.
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We were just playing on
the cranes, it was a Sunday
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afternoon, playing on
the heavy equipment and I
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stumble onto this
stash of pornography.
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There's just
magazines in the cab of this big
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Caterpillar truck
and even right then.
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Same thing heart rate
goes up, nobody ever told me
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what pornography was, I
had never seen it before.
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But it really
triggered something in me...
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- and you were how old again?
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I'm guessing, I've gone
through a lot of counseling,
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we are tracing it back
to about 7 or 8 years old.
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Statistics are saying
now that with the Internet,
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that kids are seeing,
boys are seeing pornography,
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on an average, at the age of 5.
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So for people that are
hearing this, I just highly
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encourage you to have
blockers on your Internet.
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It is just a terrible
thing to be played with.
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- because once you're
heart is stolen, you will figure
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out a way to get at that
need, get those Tic Tacs.
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Right, exactly!
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Whatever it is in your
life, so just seeing that
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pornography, it's like
coming to find out later as
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I was studying about it, that
serotonin release, even in my
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7 or 8-year-old brain,
it triggered something.
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That heart rate goes up.
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The excitement goes up, but
I knew inherently in me that
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this stuff was wrong
because me and my buddies we put
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it into a Hefty trash bag
and threw it out the woods.
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Why would you take something,
if something is good you
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are not going to put it in
the trash bag and go hide it.
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So here we are hiding this
stuff, so pornography enters
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in my life at a
pretty young age.
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Sometime goes on, I'm
cheating through school
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and et cetera.
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By the time I'm 13,
we've moved back up to
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Massachusetts and now onto
St. Louis, which is actually
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not too far from here,
and my parents for the first
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time they said, listen you
need to get your life together.
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We are sending you to a
Catholic private school just
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outside of downtown St. Louis.
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- I could see a 13, you
need to get your life together.
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- You've got issues.
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- and you know when somebody
is locked into that stuff
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you can see really early
on and say if we could jump in
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right now we can stop
a lot of pain for you.
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Right, exactly!
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It was an interesting
transition I have to say
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because now I'm going
from playing out in the woods
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in Massachusetts with all
these apple orchards and stuff
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to now we are living
right downtown in the city.
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A woman was shot and
killed 2 blocks from my house
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within a couple
weeks from living there.
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It was just a major transition.
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Now I'm at the school
and kind of going through the
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motions, but it just wasn't,
I couldn't feel anything.
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It looked like it was make
believe, this whole God thing.
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Having left my
friends, I fell into a deep
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depression again,
not again but just having
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moved so many times in my life.
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- you could really
feel that physically.
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Yeah it's just terrible,
sometimes I would bounce back
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and not have a problem,
but when you have good close
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social net of friends
and you are a teenager,
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when you move it can be
pretty dramatic and traumatic.
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So I was in this
funky state of mind where
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I just didn't want to live.
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I would actually pray
to God, God if you hear me,
00:11:03.63\00:11:07.51
if you can hear me right
now let somebody else live.
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Let this woman who just
got shot, let somebody like
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that live because
I don't want to live.
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So I didn't know really
what depression was all about,
00:11:19.84\00:11:23.14
but I was certainly
depressed and was suicidal.
00:11:23.17\00:11:26.30
Then just how Satan
tends to work, about a year
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into living there a
buddy of mine is taking me
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under his wing.
00:11:35.15\00:11:36.36
He was a little bit older
and introduced me to alcohol.
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- oh man, I'm like
stop don't do that.
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Well if you're
depressed - exactly
00:11:43.97\00:11:46.47
- taking a
depressant doesn't help you much
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- but at first
you think it helps.
00:11:48.80\00:11:51.39
Yeah, exactly, there is that
again, that rebellious side.
00:11:51.42\00:11:55.98
The excitement of sin.
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A lot of Christians, they
don't want to talk about the
00:11:57.77\00:12:01.42
fact that there's actually
some joy involved, or happiness,
00:12:01.45\00:12:05.59
or excitement
when it comes to sin.
00:12:05.62\00:12:09.06
I mean that's what
entices us - for a little while
00:12:09.09\00:12:10.40
- for a little
but it is diminishing.
00:12:10.43\00:12:12.40
But anyway I'm kind of
going off the deep end with
00:12:12.43\00:12:16.38
drinking on the
weekends, start smoking.
00:12:16.41\00:12:18.38
- weed or cigarettes?
00:12:18.41\00:12:21.54
Not weed yet, you're
jumping the gun on me.
00:12:21.57\00:12:24.15
- you know anytime somebody
smokes, I'm thinking why
00:12:24.18\00:12:26.26
bother with cigarettes,
are you smoking weed yet?
00:12:26.29\00:12:28.19
- Exactly! But anyway at
this point, it's an important
00:12:28.22\00:12:35.53
point in my life
because I really pushed God out.
00:12:35.56\00:12:38.36
I just said look
I'm tired of the fa÷ade,
00:12:38.39\00:12:41.50
I'm tired of going
through the motions,
00:12:41.53\00:12:43.80
none of this stuff makes sense.
00:12:43.83\00:12:45.40
I can't imagine there's a
God out there that actually
00:12:45.43\00:12:47.69
loves me or loves this
world when He permits so much
00:12:47.72\00:12:51.74
pain and suffering to go on.
00:12:51.77\00:12:53.36
So I just completely
denied the existence of God.
00:12:53.39\00:12:58.89
At 16 my parents came to
me and say, listen, this time
00:12:58.92\00:13:04.64
they thought they
would ask, but they said look
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we are wanting
to move to Florida.
00:13:07.57\00:13:09.33
I was excited because we
had a bunch of family there,
00:13:09.36\00:13:12.01
so we moved down to
St. Augustine Florida.
00:13:12.04\00:13:15.08
Within a week of living
here, this is where the weed
00:13:15.11\00:13:19.40
comes in, my cousin and
his best friend were driving
00:13:19.43\00:13:25.90
around in the car
and they tell me to
00:13:25.93\00:13:28.82
pull down this back alley.
00:13:28.85\00:13:30.21
I'm like this is kind of
awkward, we are on the beach,
00:13:30.24\00:13:32.23
close to the beach in
St. Augustine Florida.
00:13:32.26\00:13:34.75
And they tell me to
pull down this dirt road
00:13:34.78\00:13:37.49
where no one else is at.
00:13:37.52\00:13:39.04
I'm thinking this is weird.
00:13:39.07\00:13:40.18
They pull out this can
and go through these things
00:13:40.21\00:13:42.77
and they load this can up
with this green substance,
00:13:42.80\00:13:47.08
which at that time I
really, I know I was 16, but I
00:13:47.11\00:13:49.91
really had no clue what
in the world they were doing.
00:13:49.94\00:13:52.26
Then they started smoking
this stuff out of the can and
00:13:52.29\00:13:55.26
handed it to me and I laugh.
00:13:55.29\00:13:58.15
I start laughing
because it looks silly to me.
00:13:58.18\00:14:00.86
I'm holding this canned
to my face with a lighter
00:14:00.89\00:14:03.38
in my hand, and I blow
this green leafy substance,
00:14:03.41\00:14:08.38
now it's stuck to the
ceiling of the car, and it's all
00:14:08.41\00:14:11.10
over the floor and
they are punching me.
00:14:11.13\00:14:12.93
I'm truly oblivious, but
when I smoked this stuff,
00:14:12.96\00:14:16.80
and again take it or leave
it, I can't tell you anything
00:14:16.83\00:14:21.02
but the truth and the
truth of the matter is that when
00:14:21.05\00:14:24.70
I got high it relieved
this burden of depression.
00:14:24.73\00:14:30.91
I hate to say it because...
00:14:30.94\00:14:33.24
- well because of the
chemistry, the neurochemistry
00:14:33.27\00:14:35.52
that happens, dopamine
get set up, serotonin get set
00:14:35.55\00:14:38.52
up and all that kind of stuff.
00:14:38.55\00:14:40.20
Then somebody says it
doesn't work, for a lot of us
00:14:40.23\00:14:43.09
that have depressions
and have junk, it's so works.
00:14:43.12\00:14:47.59
Unfortunately nobody
taught us about jogging or
00:14:47.62\00:14:51.63
windsurfing and doing
things they can do the same
00:14:51.66\00:14:54.02
thing but in a
healthier way. - Exactly!
00:14:54.05\00:14:56.07
But to say it doesn't
work, we lie to folks.
00:14:56.10\00:14:59.03
Right! That is very true.
00:14:59.06\00:15:00.71
I think it does do a crime
from the church end of things
00:15:00.74\00:15:05.52
to tell people this
stuff is ridiculous, which I do
00:15:05.55\00:15:09.76
believe it is ridiculous
but there is a component of
00:15:09.79\00:15:12.69
it that obviously -
there's a biochemical change
00:15:12.72\00:15:15.29
- exactly!
00:15:15.32\00:15:16.36
So I started smoking weed
and I felt, just like with the
00:15:16.39\00:15:19.38
alcohol, I didn't just
drink a little I drank more than
00:15:19.41\00:15:22.61
everybody else.
00:15:22.64\00:15:24.00
With the weed thing, it
was not just on the weekends,
00:15:24.03\00:15:27.26
it was morning noon and night.
00:15:27.29\00:15:28.82
With marijuana often
comes a musician by the name of
00:15:28.85\00:15:33.67
Bob Marley, a Reggae
artists from Jamaica.
00:15:33.70\00:15:37.23
Listening to Bob Marley
all the time, smoking...
00:15:37.26\00:15:42.54
- everyone knew that he
smoked weed all time and that
00:15:42.57\00:15:45.32
was his whole lifestyle.
00:15:45.35\00:15:46.67
- Yeah it's part of their
religion, Rastafarian religion.
00:15:46.70\00:15:49.03
So would you know though that
even in a lot of his lyrics.
00:15:49.06\00:15:53.69
I'm not trying to encourage
you to go out and listen
00:15:53.72\00:15:56.91
to it, but in a lot of
his lyrics he references
00:15:56.94\00:16:00.43
Scripture throughout.
00:16:00.46\00:16:02.21
So here I am
listening to this stuff,
00:16:02.24\00:16:04.02
I'm an atheist,
not believing in God.
00:16:04.05\00:16:08.08
Smoking weed every day,
cheating through school,
00:16:08.11\00:16:10.81
skipping school and
then I finally graduate.
00:16:10.84\00:16:15.97
Which was a
miracle in and of itself.
00:16:16.00\00:16:17.96
I really didn't deserve
the diploma, quite frankly.
00:16:17.99\00:16:20.72
So I am 18 years old
and leave to Orlando to go
00:16:20.75\00:16:23.69
to Community College.
00:16:23.72\00:16:25.25
I work full time for
a year while going to
00:16:25.28\00:16:27.62
community college
full-time, while smoking weed
00:16:27.65\00:16:30.06
and partying full-time.
00:16:30.09\00:16:32.32
So I am 18, 19
and the summer hits.
00:16:32.35\00:16:35.53
I quit my job and am out
of school for the summer.
00:16:35.56\00:16:38.58
I do not know what
came over me, but I said,
00:16:38.61\00:16:43.16
look tomorrow
I'm going to Jamaica.
00:16:43.19\00:16:46.18
- you kidding me?
00:16:46.21\00:16:47.50
No, I'm sitting in my
apartment and remember the day
00:16:47.53\00:16:50.00
vividly, I'm sitting on
my couch in my apartment in
00:16:50.03\00:16:54.01
Orlando and I'm
going to Jamaica.
00:16:54.04\00:16:57.49
Because I want to understand,
I really love marijuana
00:16:57.52\00:17:01.18
so much that if these
Rastafarians smoke it as
00:17:01.21\00:17:04.14
part of their religion,
- I want that religion.
00:17:04.17\00:17:06.36
I want that
religion, hook me up.
00:17:06.39\00:17:08.44
I wanted to understand
what it was about marijuana,
00:17:08.47\00:17:12.40
because, I did have
this sense that there was
00:17:12.43\00:17:15.94
something spiritual,
just a spiritual realm that I
00:17:15.97\00:17:19.12
wasn't connecting into and
I wanted to be a part of it.
00:17:19.15\00:17:21.87
So I called my dad and
said, dad I need my tent,
00:17:21.90\00:17:25.54
sleeping bag and backpacks.
00:17:25.57\00:17:28.33
I drove home to St.
Augustine, I booked the flight,
00:17:28.36\00:17:31.41
drove home to St.
Augustine, loaded up my tent,
00:17:31.44\00:17:34.78
sleeping bag, backpack
and drove down to Miami,
00:17:34.81\00:17:37.27
got in the plane, flew
to Jamaica, get out of the
00:17:37.30\00:17:41.68
plane, standing
now in customs...
00:17:41.71\00:17:43.48
- do you know
anybody in Jamaica?
00:17:43.51\00:17:44.92
No, I had actually been
there for a few hours on a
00:17:44.95\00:17:48.24
cruise when that
was like 7 or something.
00:17:48.27\00:17:50.57
- that's what I love
about druggies, they don't even
00:17:50.60\00:17:52.08
think of that, that's
beside the point, I'm going.
00:17:52.11\00:17:54.79
So now I'm there and literally
in customs and the lady
00:17:54.82\00:17:58.84
is saying to me, before
we let you into the country,
00:17:58.87\00:18:01.88
where are you going? You
know where are you staying?
00:18:01.91\00:18:05.28
- I'm going to find some weed.
00:18:05.31\00:18:06.55
but I'm like I
remember looking down because
00:18:06.58\00:18:10.13
you could see out, the
airport is fairly small.
00:18:10.16\00:18:12.82
I said I probably try to get up
00:18:12.85\00:18:14.93
to that mountain tonight.
00:18:14.96\00:18:16.80
You know that's
were I'm going to stay,
00:18:16.83\00:18:18.52
and she's like look you
got to get a reservation
00:18:18.55\00:18:20.57
and we have to know
where you're at, so I made a
00:18:20.60\00:18:23.61
reservation on
the courtesy phone,
00:18:23.64\00:18:26.27
that I never went to.
00:18:26.30\00:18:28.34
But that night I got into
a taxi, that night I pitched
00:18:28.37\00:18:32.66
my tent on the beach
in the Grill, which is a
00:18:32.69\00:18:35.06
touristy area of Jamaica.
00:18:35.09\00:18:37.34
I'm on the beach and I
met some local guys and
00:18:37.37\00:18:40.40
they were Rastafarians.
00:18:40.43\00:18:43.13
You can see them a lot,
it's in style to dread your hair
00:18:43.16\00:18:46.35
I would do it if I
had it, but I don't.
00:18:46.38\00:18:48.95
but a lot of these people have
dreads, well that is a part of
00:18:48.98\00:18:52.77
their religion is
to not cut their hair.
00:18:52.80\00:18:54.87
So it naturally
forms these dreadlocks.
00:18:54.90\00:18:58.91
So I'm talking to the
Rastafarians, had a good time
00:18:58.94\00:19:03.25
that night and the next
day and walking down the
00:19:03.28\00:19:05.25
street and a car pulls up.
00:19:05.28\00:19:06.65
God as my witness, this
car pulls up with a dread
00:19:06.68\00:19:10.76
or Rasta in the driver's seat,
which is on the right hand side.
00:19:10.79\00:19:14.13
He says, listen get in the car.
00:19:14.16\00:19:16.55
So like any smart,
white, 19-year-old American,
00:19:16.58\00:19:21.81
I climbed in
the back of the car.
00:19:21.84\00:19:23.43
This guy
immediately starts telling me,
00:19:23.46\00:19:26.44
listen I can get you,
they call marijuana, ganja,
00:19:26.47\00:19:29.70
but I can get you as much
ganja as you can get rid of.
00:19:29.73\00:19:34.38
I said, well as much ganja
as you can get me I can get
00:19:34.41\00:19:39.38
rid of, so we had a
business relationship.
00:19:39.41\00:19:42.27
We went back to my tent
and wrapped it up and drove
00:19:42.30\00:19:44.99
out to the
countryside where he lived
00:19:45.02\00:19:46.69
with his wife and daughter.
00:19:46.72\00:19:47.94
There I stayed for 2 weeks.
00:19:47.97\00:19:50.40
What I found what
the Rastafarian religion,
00:19:50.43\00:19:54.23
as with almost any
religion, there's people on
00:19:54.26\00:19:58.48
all sides of the
spectrum with what they believe,
00:19:58.51\00:20:02.92
and how they practice.
00:20:02.95\00:20:04.50
But with the Rastafarian
religion, it's so ambiguous,
00:20:04.53\00:20:08.86
there is really
not a strict teaching,
00:20:08.89\00:20:11.35
there's no real documentation
of what to believe or why.
00:20:11.38\00:20:14.77
They accept the Old
Testament, but not the New
00:20:14.80\00:20:17.49
Testament, because they
believe that the Old Testament
00:20:17.52\00:20:20.64
predicts this Messiah,
which we as followers of
00:20:20.67\00:20:23.19
Christ believe that
Jesus is the fulfillment
00:20:23.22\00:20:26.18
of those prophecies.
00:20:26.21\00:20:27.69
Which is evident
time and time again.
00:20:27.72\00:20:29.58
But they point to this
gentleman named, Haile Selassie,
00:20:29.61\00:20:33.20
and Ethiopian emperor,
and this is important because
00:20:33.23\00:20:37.31
2 weeks later I fly back
to Miami with 2 wooden statues
00:20:37.34\00:20:42.02
- full pot? - full of weed.
00:20:42.05\00:20:44.61
I hadn't seen it, but
they told me it was in there
00:20:44.64\00:20:48.57
coming in the Islands,
you will see a lot of wooden
00:20:48.60\00:20:50.83
carvings and a
detailed birds and whatnot.
00:20:50.86\00:20:53.77
Sure enough that's what I
had was about a 2 and 1/2 foot
00:20:53.80\00:20:57.24
tall, 2 of them wooden
birds that he told me on the
00:20:57.27\00:21:01.84
inside was marijuana.
00:21:01.87\00:21:03.85
I knocked all over it and
looked at it, like its stained
00:21:03.88\00:21:07.76
and it's detailed, - I can't
tell, -and if I get caught I'll
00:21:07.79\00:21:13.12
just say I didn't know
it was in there and risk,
00:21:13.15\00:21:16.09
it because at that point
in my life, 19 I just couldn't
00:21:16.12\00:21:18.92
care less about life.
00:21:18.95\00:21:20.38
I mean, really if I
lived great, if I died great.
00:21:20.41\00:21:24.50
If I was in jail, so be
it, I just was at that point
00:21:24.53\00:21:28.03
where was at the end of my rope.
00:21:28.06\00:21:29.58
So I fly into Miami
and have a drug dog on me,
00:21:29.61\00:21:33.71
I go through customs
and the next thing I know
00:21:33.74\00:21:35.99
I'm walking through,
the dog didn't smell it.
00:21:36.02\00:21:39.58
No nothing and so now
here's my turning point,
00:21:39.61\00:21:44.14
I call it my triple a
method and you will see
00:21:44.17\00:21:46.55
why in a minute.
00:21:46.58\00:21:47.61
But I go from atheist
or agnostic almost right
00:21:47.64\00:21:50.95
as I'm walking through
customs in Miami International,
00:21:50.98\00:21:53.52
because now I believe
that there is this higher power
00:21:53.55\00:21:57.12
watching out for my...
00:21:57.15\00:21:59.86
- I don't know what it
is yet, but somehow I got
00:21:59.89\00:22:01.96
through customs, so
there's got to be something.
00:22:01.99\00:22:04.17
Right, now I started immediately
giving glory to Jaria
00:22:04.20\00:22:07.91
Justafaria, which the
Rastafarians worshiped as God
00:22:07.94\00:22:11.38
and Hallie Selassia, where
ever you are look me up man.
00:22:11.41\00:22:15.97
Thank you so much for
saving me and protected me.
00:22:16.00\00:22:19.96
You are the best, I got
in my car and I was just
00:22:19.99\00:22:21.73
praising whoever it
was that just protected me.
00:22:21.76\00:22:25.90
- like Yahoo, I can see it now.
00:22:25.93\00:22:31.37
Yeah but I get back to
Orlando and word just spread,
00:22:31.40\00:22:35.75
our network, the people I
was doing a little dealing
00:22:35.78\00:22:38.89
then as well, so it
just spread like wildflower
00:22:38.92\00:22:42.23
and I got nervous.
00:22:42.26\00:22:43.45
I went back home to St.
Augustine and word spread
00:22:43.48\00:22:46.77
around there, I actually
ended up with 3 pounds of
00:22:46.80\00:22:52.38
marijuana that summer.
00:22:52.41\00:22:53.67
It went down twice and
came back, which I don't
00:22:53.70\00:22:57.01
know if that means
anything to anybody,
00:22:57.04\00:22:58.63
but that is a
significant amount,
00:22:58.66\00:23:00.04
you can go to
prison for a long time.
00:23:00.07\00:23:02.12
I would never be leaving
the country again for certain.
00:23:02.15\00:23:04.71
I mean this
would've been a major crime.
00:23:04.74\00:23:08.42
So I buried this stuff in
the beach, but during this time
00:23:08.45\00:23:14.83
I started really
in my agnostic state,
00:23:14.86\00:23:18.34
I really started searching.
00:23:18.37\00:23:20.38
So I would be out
on the beach and yeah,
00:23:20.41\00:23:22.96
I was smoking weed, but
while I was out in nature,
00:23:22.99\00:23:26.22
God starts revealing
Himself more and more to me.
00:23:26.25\00:23:30.81
- How incredible is that!
00:23:30.84\00:23:32.06
My favorite authors of
all time, and keep in mind I
00:23:32.09\00:23:35.86
didn't read at all before I
became a follower of Christ,
00:23:35.89\00:23:38.89
but now I love reading.
00:23:38.92\00:23:40.59
One of my favorite authors
of all time, Ellen White.
00:23:40.62\00:23:44.03
She says in this book,
Steps to Christ, and if you
00:23:44.06\00:23:46.63
want a copy of the book
please find a way to contact me,
00:23:46.66\00:23:50.43
or Cheri and we will get it.
00:23:50.46\00:23:52.08
- we did a whole season on
Steps to Christ - oh you did!
00:23:52.11\00:23:54.32
My first season and sent
out hundreds and hundreds
00:23:54.35\00:23:56.97
of Steps to Christ
because I had the same reaction
00:23:57.00\00:23:59.26
and it's incredible.
00:23:59.29\00:24:00.40
- It's a great book, so I
read the first line in that book
00:24:00.43\00:24:03.88
and it says, nature and
Revelation alike testify of
00:24:03.91\00:24:07.32
God's love and sure enough
at that time I didn't know.
00:24:07.35\00:24:10.29
but God was using the things
of nature, even the book of
00:24:10.32\00:24:13.44
Romans refers to this.
00:24:13.47\00:24:14.89
A person doesn't have
an excuse not to believe
00:24:14.92\00:24:17.67
in God, because God's
invisible attributes are clearly
00:24:17.70\00:24:20.76
seen through the
things that are made.
00:24:20.79\00:24:22.99
So even though we
are on a fallen planet,
00:24:23.02\00:24:25.17
still you can see
God's beauty and His Majesty
00:24:25.20\00:24:29.28
through the things of creation.
00:24:29.31\00:24:31.27
So I'm looking at the
beach and thinking about the
00:24:31.30\00:24:34.75
tide that rolls in.
00:24:34.78\00:24:36.39
It's on this 6 hour
cycle, 70% of the water,
00:24:36.42\00:24:40.07
our world is underwater.
00:24:40.10\00:24:41.73
I am just baffled, and
maybe only a weed-head would
00:24:41.76\00:24:46.56
be thinking this way, but
I'm looking at this stuff and
00:24:46.59\00:24:48.67
am like, how is it that
the water stops right here?
00:24:48.70\00:24:51.82
I mean my house,
we were living right
00:24:51.85\00:24:53.73
on the ocean at that time.
00:24:53.76\00:24:55.04
I was renting a room on
third Street in St. Augustine
00:24:55.07\00:24:58.12
and how is it that the
water stops right here and
00:24:58.15\00:25:01.89
doesn't wipe us out?
00:25:01.92\00:25:03.47
Then the moon would come
up at night, the full moon.
00:25:03.50\00:25:05.95
I love looking at the full moon.
00:25:05.98\00:25:08.01
I would just stand there
in awe looking at this thing
00:25:08.04\00:25:11.48
and I would wake up in
the mornings, sometimes early,
00:25:11.51\00:25:14.07
and go see the sunrise.
00:25:14.10\00:25:16.06
I'm like, this is unbelievable
and so now I started
00:25:16.09\00:25:20.62
getting angry at God because
I'm like God you are full on,
00:25:20.65\00:25:25.58
like for real, how did I
miss this, this whole time?
00:25:25.61\00:25:29.26
- and you know I just like
to say for anybody watching,
00:25:29.29\00:25:32.03
or anybody at the Café is
the first time I realized,
00:25:32.06\00:25:34.66
looking in the Bible
there is a place I think in
00:25:34.69\00:25:37.11
Psalms where it says, I've
put those in space, all that
00:25:37.14\00:25:40.40
was so that you would
remember that I am God.
00:25:40.43\00:25:43.79
I thought you put that
for me so every time I see the
00:25:43.82\00:25:46.44
moon or the sun traveling
across the sky, God said
00:25:46.47\00:25:48.47
I put that for you.
00:25:48.50\00:25:49.53
- Yeah, and we get so
busy in our lives, we get
00:25:49.56\00:25:52.26
on the TV or computer
or video games or what ever
00:25:52.29\00:25:55.34
in our life, work, we
get so distracted that we
00:25:55.37\00:25:59.59
often don't just stop.
00:25:59.62\00:26:00.97
- Exactly so you are
sitting there on the beach
00:26:01.00\00:26:03.61
- I'm sitting there begging
God and I literally prayed
00:26:03.64\00:26:06.92
for a boulder, because
maybe I watch too many cartoons,
00:26:06.95\00:26:10.46
but I'm like God, if You
are there, whoever you are,
00:26:10.49\00:26:14.65
wherever you are, at this point.
00:26:14.68\00:26:15.99
I've extended my
prayer, communication and my
00:26:16.02\00:26:20.79
sending out to God,
Jesus, Jaa, Halie Selassie,
00:26:20.82\00:26:27.52
Buddha, to pan Sam, Martians.
00:26:27.55\00:26:29.44
Wherever you are, whoever
you are will you please drop a
00:26:29.47\00:26:33.53
boulder in front of my face?
00:26:33.56\00:26:35.06
Hook me up, and I
literally sat there expecting a
00:26:35.09\00:26:38.87
boulder to come out of
the sky and land in front of
00:26:38.90\00:26:41.18
my face on the
beach, but it never came.
00:26:41.21\00:26:43.94
Then I would go back to
my room and I am a little bit
00:26:43.97\00:26:46.68
sad, I would stand there
in front of the mirror and
00:26:46.71\00:26:49.92
even just looking, I know
it's uncomfortable at lease
00:26:49.95\00:26:53.00
for me to look at
myself in the mirror.
00:26:53.03\00:26:54.75
I would stand there and
look at my face and just think
00:26:54.78\00:26:57.75
of my nose, or think of
my ears, or think of my eyes
00:26:57.78\00:27:02.14
and if you really stop
and think and look at your
00:27:02.17\00:27:05.29
eye, it is just an
incredible mechanism.
00:27:05.32\00:27:09.63
- and potheads could
do that for long time,
00:27:09.66\00:27:11.94
- exactly! - look at this thing.
00:27:11.97\00:27:13.81
So I just, my faith in
God and this Creator was just
00:27:13.84\00:27:19.39
falling through the roof.
00:27:19.42\00:27:20.79
I didn't know where to
turn, so I went to the library.
00:27:20.82\00:27:22.81
I'm researching Halie
Selassie in the Encyclopedia
00:27:22.84\00:27:26.69
and he's got a little paragraph.
00:27:26.72\00:27:29.35
So I keep looking and
thinking well what about Jesus?
00:27:29.38\00:27:33.28
Maybe I'll read about
Jesus, and I'm reading about
00:27:33.31\00:27:35.62
Jesus, in the
Encyclopedia, in the library and
00:27:35.65\00:27:40.40
its just page after
page after page that
00:27:40.43\00:27:42.70
I'm reading about this guy.
00:27:42.73\00:27:43.94
I'm saying to myself, well
these people are worshiping
00:27:43.97\00:27:47.16
a guy that according to his
life there is really nothing
00:27:47.19\00:27:50.91
here that would
testify to me that this is God.
00:27:50.94\00:27:53.75
Halie Selassie is God.
00:27:53.78\00:27:55.59
Conversely when I read
about Jesus, I'm like this
00:27:55.62\00:27:58.40
guy looks like He might
have something to offer.
00:27:58.43\00:28:01.46
His transformed the world.
00:28:01.49\00:28:03.50
I end up going to
Maryland, because my brother had
00:28:03.53\00:28:07.15
met a girl, and they were
engaged, and they got married in
00:28:07.18\00:28:10.88
this church, keep in mind
I had never gone to church.
00:28:10.91\00:28:14.35
I don't know the
first thing about the Bible.
00:28:14.38\00:28:17.72
But I'm on a quest, and I
met the Pastor of that church,
00:28:17.75\00:28:22.17
his name is Rob Vanderman.
00:28:22.20\00:28:23.85
This happened to be the
Spencerville Seventh-day
00:28:23.88\00:28:26.18
Adventist church, a
huge church in Maryland,
00:28:26.21\00:28:29.61
outside of Silver Springs
Maryland in Spencerville.
00:28:29.64\00:28:32.82
I met this guy and I
said look I'm on a quest,
00:28:32.85\00:28:38.02
I am just looking
for truth, can we meet?
00:28:38.05\00:28:40.74
So we met and I'm
sitting in his office,
00:28:40.77\00:28:43.86
I tell him my life story,
and he's a little bit like
00:28:43.89\00:28:46.34
what's going on here?
00:28:46.37\00:28:48.83
I'm telling him everything I've
told you, he just turns and says
00:28:48.86\00:28:54.43
Matthew I just
want to give you a book.
00:28:54.46\00:28:56.85
I said come on
man, let's dialogue!
00:28:56.88\00:29:00.53
He said I want to give
you a book and hands me
00:29:00.56\00:29:03.74
Gene Peterson's
paraphrase of the Bible called,
00:29:03.77\00:29:07.21
The Message. - incredible!
00:29:07.24\00:29:08.27
At that time, this
would've been 94, 95, this
00:29:08.30\00:29:13.42
would've actually been
95, it was only the New
00:29:13.45\00:29:17.36
Testament with
Psalms and Proverbs.
00:29:17.39\00:29:18.96
My name Matthew in the
first book in the New Testament
00:29:18.99\00:29:22.25
was Matthew so I get home
and start reading Matthew.
00:29:22.28\00:29:26.51
I caution you if you've
never read the Bible before,
00:29:26.54\00:29:29.65
if you start in Matthew
it's a little bit scary because
00:29:29.68\00:29:33.50
you are reading
about people, just babies,
00:29:33.53\00:29:35.74
like people having babies.
00:29:35.77\00:29:37.39
And they are names you
do not understand, like you
00:29:37.42\00:29:40.10
would never curse your
own child with that name.
00:29:40.13\00:29:43.45
But you're just
reading this list, but then I
00:29:43.48\00:29:46.80
started reading
and it gets to Jesus.
00:29:46.83\00:29:49.26
There was Jesus, so I
start reading about this guy,
00:29:49.29\00:29:52.52
Jesus, out of the
gospel according to Matthew.
00:29:52.55\00:29:55.27
Long story short
the light comes on.
00:29:55.30\00:29:58.50
I traveled back home to
Florida and my dad picked
00:29:58.53\00:30:02.85
me up from the airport
in Jacksonville and we are
00:30:02.88\00:30:07.09
driving home and he
said, how was your trip?
00:30:07.12\00:30:09.50
So now at this point I am
20 years old, I've gone down
00:30:09.53\00:30:13.17
to Jamaica twice and my
parents knew the whole thing.
00:30:13.20\00:30:15.51
My family knew and all my
friends knew that whole thing.
00:30:15.54\00:30:17.93
I had thought I'd
found the key to life.
00:30:17.96\00:30:20.70
I thought I was could
retire rich at 19 and live
00:30:20.73\00:30:24.20
down in Jamaica,
but God had other plans.
00:30:24.23\00:30:27.05
So my dad says,
how was your trip?
00:30:27.08\00:30:29.31
I remember just saying, look
I don't know everything about
00:30:29.34\00:30:34.08
this Jesus guy, but what I
do know I want to know more.
00:30:34.11\00:30:39.63
I just want to know more.
00:30:39.66\00:30:41.61
For better or for
worse, I just couldn't hang out
00:30:41.64\00:30:46.84
with the same crew.
00:30:46.87\00:30:48.55
I love them dearly, and wouldn't
you know, now years later,
00:30:48.58\00:30:52.28
about 12 years later I am
still really good friends,
00:30:52.31\00:30:55.16
better friends, I did a
baby dedication for one of
00:30:55.19\00:31:00.12
my close friends, and I
did his wedding a year ago,
00:31:00.15\00:31:03.09
and then the baby dedication.
00:31:03.12\00:31:04.61
- cause you now are Pastor?
00:31:04.64\00:31:06.66
Yeah, but let me go back
because I just wanted to get
00:31:06.69\00:31:11.31
to know Jesus, but
I did have to cut off.
00:31:11.34\00:31:14.40
I pretty much isolated
myself in my room, I would go
00:31:14.43\00:31:19.43
out and eat, this that
and the other, but I was
00:31:19.46\00:31:22.03
just devouring the word of God.
00:31:22.06\00:31:23.52
I was devouring it
in the Bible says...
00:31:23.55\00:31:25.97
- I just want to say to
people that are watching,
00:31:26.00\00:31:27.99
because that's the
biggest thing for a lot of us
00:31:28.02\00:31:30.07
coming from one
lifestyle to the next is to
00:31:30.10\00:31:33.62
get into the word of God.
00:31:33.65\00:31:35.11
And I don't care what
preconception you have of the
00:31:35.14\00:31:37.40
Bible or Christianity,
but it is the living Word
00:31:37.43\00:31:39.75
of God and God will
speak to you through this word.
00:31:39.78\00:31:42.85
Sometimes people will
say, the Bible and I don't know
00:31:42.88\00:31:46.26
how to do that, get a
translation that makes sense,
00:31:46.29\00:31:49.11
the message is amazing,
I've got the New Living,
00:31:49.14\00:31:51.64
there's King
James, New King James.
00:31:51.67\00:31:53.20
I mean you can get all
different kinds of translations
00:31:53.23\00:31:55.41
and if you can't understand
it ask God through prayer.
00:31:55.44\00:31:59.47
We have been
talking about prayer.
00:31:59.50\00:32:01.44
God help me to
understand what this says.
00:32:01.48\00:32:02.96
Then just start and its
amazing, it's life transforming.
00:32:02.99\00:32:06.37
- The Bible says that
spiritual things are spiritually
00:32:06.40\00:32:09.23
understood, right so you
will find when you pick up
00:32:09.26\00:32:14.88
the Bible and start reading it.
00:32:14.91\00:32:16.27
You're reading it and it
can be overwhelming at times.
00:32:16.30\00:32:19.99
You can read
stuff, even to this day...
00:32:20.02\00:32:22.64
- had to stop smoking
pot at that time - yeah!
00:32:22.67\00:32:24.29
That was part of my
whole isolation thing.
00:32:24.32\00:32:26.89
God really, I hate to
say sometimes the temptation
00:32:26.92\00:32:32.38
still comes back, but God really
00:32:32.41\00:32:34.65
removed the temptation from me.
00:32:34.68\00:32:36.98
He removed the profanity,
I was cussing like a sailor.
00:32:37.01\00:32:40.65
He removed the
profanity out of my mouth.
00:32:40.68\00:32:43.07
- forgive us if you are a
sailor, we always say that
00:32:43.10\00:32:47.04
and the sailors like,
I never cussed at all.
00:32:47.07\00:32:49.13
I have good friends in the Navy.
00:32:49.16\00:32:51.54
But that was a
Sunday I came back.
00:32:51.57\00:32:56.21
On Monday I picked up
the phone and now all I knew
00:32:56.24\00:32:59.38
was a Seventh-day
Adventist church which I had
00:32:59.41\00:33:01.86
never heard of in my life.
00:33:01.89\00:33:03.28
So I go to the phone
book and look up the closest
00:33:03.31\00:33:06.51
Seventh-day
Adventist church to my house.
00:33:06.54\00:33:08.57
It happen to be in the
hood where I used to hang out.
00:33:08.60\00:33:11.43
I used to, there were 4
of us that really spent a lot
00:33:11.46\00:33:15.23
of time together and 2
of our crew were from the
00:33:15.26\00:33:19.00
projects in St. Augustine.
00:33:19.03\00:33:20.70
There was a corner
store where we would go by our
00:33:20.73\00:33:23.62
malt liquor every weekend.
00:33:23.65\00:33:25.65
So I knew the street well.
00:33:25.68\00:33:27.59
It's LM King Boulevard
and there is this church
00:33:27.62\00:33:31.24
down there,
Seventh-day Adventist.
00:33:31.27\00:33:32.76
So I called it up on Monday and
00:33:32.79\00:33:34.70
a lady answers the phone.
00:33:34.73\00:33:35.76
Praise the Lord, I
said okay, she said,
00:33:35.79\00:33:39.62
how can I help you?
00:33:39.65\00:33:40.86
I said my name is Matthew
and I live in St. Augustine
00:33:40.89\00:33:44.32
and I would like to
come, all that's wonderful we
00:33:44.35\00:33:46.02
will be here
Saturday, come out I believe
00:33:46.05\00:33:49.61
it was eleven o'clock.
00:33:49.64\00:33:50.88
So I said fine.
00:33:50.91\00:33:51.94
I show up on this
road, I knew the road,
00:33:51.97\00:33:53.99
but I couldn't find the place.
00:33:54.02\00:33:56.10
Is this small little
white building and I just
00:33:56.13\00:33:58.49
couldn't, there are big
churches, small little building.
00:33:58.52\00:34:02.18
Finally I find it, I
come in and I'm late and the
00:34:02.21\00:34:05.33
Pastors up at the pulpit, he
grabs the side of the pulpit.
00:34:05.36\00:34:09.10
I come through these, almost
bar doors that swing in and
00:34:09.13\00:34:12.95
out, that's the
back of this church.
00:34:12.98\00:34:14.79
I come in through these
push doors and the first
00:34:14.82\00:34:18.37
thing I realized is that
I am the only colored person
00:34:18.40\00:34:21.04
person in the building.
00:34:21.07\00:34:22.32
This is an all-black church,
which I felt like I was at
00:34:22.35\00:34:25.36
home because I loved
being in Jamaica and all that.
00:34:25.39\00:34:28.73
Then the Pastor stops
from the pulpit and says,
00:34:28.76\00:34:32.32
we want praise the Lord
for sending Matthew to us
00:34:32.35\00:34:35.95
today, and my jaw dropped.
00:34:35.98\00:34:38.69
Because I'm like
how does this guy,
00:34:38.72\00:34:40.92
I never met this guy my life.
00:34:40.95\00:34:42.91
I made one call on
Monday, how does this guy even
00:34:42.94\00:34:45.91
know my name, and
apparently I sound white enough
00:34:45.94\00:34:48.99
that this lady said,
look if a white dude comes
00:34:49.02\00:34:52.27
walking through the
back door, you will probably
00:34:52.30\00:34:55.16
know that this is Matthew.
00:34:55.19\00:34:57.00
Then he said, let's get
up and welcome one another
00:34:57.03\00:35:02.58
in the name of Jesus Christ.
00:35:02.61\00:35:04.04
I'm like alright because
I'm still in the backdoor way.
00:35:04.07\00:35:08.19
I hadn't even walked in
and now the whole Church is
00:35:08.22\00:35:11.11
standing up hugging on
each other, and little kids
00:35:11.14\00:35:13.65
running towards me, and
people running towards me
00:35:13.68\00:35:16.50
and started grabbing me.
00:35:16.53\00:35:18.88
I'm used to, I'm not trying
to bash the Catholic Church,
00:35:18.91\00:35:23.56
my parents are devout Catholics,
and I believe there is
00:35:23.59\00:35:27.16
Catholics that love
Jesus with all their heart.
00:35:27.19\00:35:29.94
But in the Catholic tradition,
when we did the greeting,
00:35:29.97\00:35:34.38
I just remember
peace be with you.
00:35:34.41\00:35:36.94
Peace be with you and you
do a 360 in the pew and sit
00:35:36.97\00:35:43.84
down and that was
the end of the greeting.
00:35:43.87\00:35:46.77
Not in this church,
these people were up, day were
00:35:46.80\00:35:50.52
grabbing me and I remember
thinking to myself, because it
00:35:50.55\00:35:53.46
was kind of a tear out
of one eye and laughing.
00:35:53.49\00:35:55.56
It was just kind of a dichotomy,
my lips are twittering
00:35:55.59\00:36:00.92
and I'm like
what is going on here.
00:36:00.95\00:36:04.50
I'm obviously not a
relative that just came home
00:36:04.53\00:36:07.54
from the military or
was lost and now was found.
00:36:07.57\00:36:10.95
What is happening?
00:36:10.98\00:36:13.83
That church loved me right
in that day, after the sermon
00:36:13.86\00:36:21.15
that the preacher
preached this message.
00:36:21.18\00:36:22.85
I thought he was
preaching just to me.
00:36:22.88\00:36:24.95
But I came to find out
that all these people need to
00:36:24.98\00:36:28.57
hear the gospel of
Jesus Christ and the good news
00:36:28.60\00:36:31.70
that is found in Jesus.
00:36:31.73\00:36:32.84
All of us do, no matter
how long you have been in the
00:36:32.87\00:36:36.07
church we need to
hear that good news.
00:36:36.10\00:36:37.64
We go to this thing called
potluck, I'm eating things.
00:36:37.67\00:36:40.93
Dumplings, I don't
know if you've ever
00:36:40.96\00:36:43.24
had dumplings, but
it's like they boil it down
00:36:43.27\00:36:46.45
and it is hard as a rock?
00:36:46.48\00:36:48.44
Anybody had dumplings?
00:36:48.47\00:36:49.73
You don't know a
dumpling from the Caribbean,
00:36:49.76\00:36:52.33
the harder the better it
is, I mean plastic forks just
00:36:52.36\00:36:57.51
ricocheting off this thing.
00:36:57.54\00:36:59.90
You go through
about 5 plastic knives.
00:36:59.93\00:37:02.17
I have eaten this food
I had never eaten before,
00:37:02.20\00:37:05.01
but these people are so
filled with love and the
00:37:05.04\00:37:07.98
Pastor came to me
and said, look I sense
00:37:08.01\00:37:11.10
you want to study the Bible?
00:37:11.13\00:37:12.49
I said, yeah, he said, I
will make arrangements for this
00:37:12.52\00:37:14.96
week and you can meet and
I said no, today's the day.
00:37:14.99\00:37:17.86
Hey I want to study - I
don't want to be sent away
00:37:17.89\00:37:20.25
with the book right now.
00:37:20.28\00:37:21.31
I want to set down and dialogue.
00:37:21.34\00:37:22.89
- I want to get
into it - talk to me.
00:37:22.92\00:37:24.61
I had been reading this
thing and so we sat that day
00:37:24.64\00:37:28.24
from 2 o'clock until 7 in
their little trailer school.
00:37:28.27\00:37:31.93
At these little
desks, 5 hours straight,
00:37:31.96\00:37:35.41
studying the word of God.
00:37:35.44\00:37:36.70
Next week it was the
same thing, I found out they
00:37:36.73\00:37:38.87
had a school and start
volunteering at the school.
00:37:38.90\00:37:41.14
They had prayer
meeting during the week.
00:37:41.17\00:37:43.24
I was just
starving for this stuff.
00:37:43.27\00:37:45.12
This was October of 95.
00:37:45.15\00:37:46.83
So you know we are
going to take a break and come
00:37:46.86\00:37:49.77
back but I want what
you found, first that God
00:37:49.80\00:37:54.13
was real, that there
is a God, that there is a
00:37:54.16\00:37:57.17
communication a
current communication.
00:37:57.20\00:38:00.81
Not just a book to read
but God will speak to you
00:38:00.84\00:38:03.82
through nature or
whatever, and then there is
00:38:03.85\00:38:06.48
a body of Christ
that you can hook up to.
00:38:06.51\00:38:08.08
For people that are
doing recovery that is
00:38:08.11\00:38:10.55
going to be a big thing.
00:38:10.58\00:38:11.65
We are going to go ahead
and take a break and come
00:38:11.68\00:38:13.46
back because I want to
ask you some more questions
00:38:13.49\00:38:15.58
and then we will
close the program.
00:38:15.61\00:38:16.98
But I want you to
know that everyone has,
00:38:17.01\00:38:20.14
not a similar
story, but a similar walk.
00:38:20.17\00:38:22.93
There is a point where
we come to God with all our
00:38:22.96\00:38:25.42
stuff and say God who
are you, do you know that I'm
00:38:25.45\00:38:29.45
here, how are we going to
communicate to each other.
00:38:29.48\00:38:32.01
Because if I can't hear
you and you can't communicate
00:38:32.04\00:38:34.91
with me, if I can't
speak what is on my mind,
00:38:34.94\00:38:37.94
if you are not real enough
to direct me I am lost here.
00:38:37.97\00:38:40.70
With depression and
smoking pot and all that stuff.
00:38:40.73\00:38:43.50
And God says I am
so real, I am so real.
00:38:43.53\00:38:47.04
And we will make it, we
are going to walk through this.
00:38:47.07\00:38:49.66
So we'll be right
back, stay with us!
00:38:49.69\00:38:51.52