Welcome to
Celebrating Life in Recovery.
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I'm Cheri your host!
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A lot of people have
a lot of ideas of what
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the secret to recovery is.
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How am I going to stay
clean, how do I avoid relapse?
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I think I have the secret
and I have been in recovery
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for a long time.
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So let me share with you
today come in and join us,
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it's incredible!
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So let's talk about
the secret of recovery.
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It is funny to me,
because there is all kinds
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of things people will tell you.
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They say you know what in
recovery you have got to watch
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your friends, and
watch what you do,
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and watch what you
think and all that stuff.
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I found that there's
more to it than that.
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I want to start with
there are some folks that are
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staying at the ranch
right now, our Ministry Center.
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I met her the first time,
let's say she's from New York,
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because I never want to
call somebody out the closet
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if they are not
ready to come out.
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So let's say she's from New York
and I met her the first time
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she was 12, 11 years old.
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Her father was just
indicted for molestation.
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He was a schoolteacher
and her mother had a psychotic
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break, went into
the hospital for months.
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Nobody told us kid anything.
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I can't believe that no
one said a word to this kid.
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So she all of a sudden
had to decide about the entire
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world based on what was
happening in her environment.
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Both parents are gone
and she is by herself.
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Friends got
pulled away from her.
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She belong to a church,
but you know all the sudden,
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nobody wanted their
kids playing with this kid,
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because what about their
parents and all the stuff
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that is going on in their life?
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I'm not even talking about
maybe what was happening in
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her home prior to
that, we are not going there.
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We are talking about this
crisis happened, and this kid,
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all the sudden has to
decide about the world.
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Seriously decides about
the world, makes vows about
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the world, whether
people can be trusted or not.
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Whether she is safe or
not, and all that stuff.
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So when she stumbles
finally into her addictions,
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oh and at the
time she goes deaf.
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No reason, and the
reason I want to say no reason
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is we physically are powerful.
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Do you know what I mean?
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I don't want to hear anything.
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I don't know what
the world means anymore.
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I don't know what to do anymore,
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so we literally shut down.
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When people get
sick all of a sudden,
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after divorce they get sick,
there's stats that are saying
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that people are literally
starting to die sometimes
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after a divorce,
after major tragedies.
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and I think we shut our own
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bodies down because
it is that powerful.
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So this kid goes into addictions
goes into all that stuff.
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Now I want to break from
that and I want to go into what
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I think some of the secrets are
when you come out of that stuff.
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You make vows, you
go into addictions.
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Let me just say
about addictions,
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we think we are
messed up before that.
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We've got all the family stuff.
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You know my family are
addicts and I've been molested
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since I was 3 months old.
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I have all that stuff.
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I ended up homeless by
the age of 13 years old.
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So when I got into my addiction,
in my addiction I thought
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was the solution not a
problem, know what I mean?
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So I'm thinking I
finally found something that is
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actually going to help me.
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So we fall into that kind
of stuff, so all of a sudden
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we start looking at recovery.
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It cracks me up in
recovery because I start looking
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at recovery and try
to figure out, let's see,
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what am I going
to do in recovery?
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I am taking this
mind, this twisted thinking.
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I have gotten myself so
twisted because of my pain
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and my hurt and
acting out in my rebellion.
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Somebody else's rebellion
and someone else's acting out.
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I'm coming to recovery
and thinking with this mind,
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I'm going to figure it out.
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I think all of
heaven is says, oh please!
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There's even a place
in the Bible that says,
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"don't lean on your own
understanding", don't do it.
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Because your
understanding is tweaked.
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It was tweaked from the
time you were a little girl,
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a little boy.
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All of a sudden when you
were molested the first time,
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you decided something about
the world and made vow's at
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that time that have
changed everything about you.
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You come into recovery
and you think you are going to
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figure it out,
please don't even do it.
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So now we are going to talk
about the secret of recovery
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is to learn to communicate
with the only person that
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actually can figure it
out for you, and that is God.
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So we are going
to talk about prayer.
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We are going to talk
about prayer, and people
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it cracks me up
because they did studies,
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most of us don't pray.
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I don't care if you been
a Christian for a million
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years, most of us don't pray.
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We will get up and give it
a few seconds, you know God
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hang out with me
today, thanks and that is it.
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Do you know what I mean?
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I don't even think for some
of us we get busy and we don't
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even give it that.
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So we are going
to talk about prayer.
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We were created in
the image of God, right?
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In the image of God and
I'm thinking, it is just not
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I just don't have His
nose, do you know what I mean?
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So what does that
mean, the image of God?
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Do I look like Him, what ever?
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We were created in the
image of God, this is a God that
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spoke the
Universe into existence.
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He spoke and it happened.
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I'm thinking, He
created me maybe when I speak
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it's a big deal, when I
speak vows against things.
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When I decide on something
and I start speaking all that
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stuff into my
life that is horrible.
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Nobody can be trusted,
I'm not worth anything.
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I am nothing but a
liar born to addicts.
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When I speak that is a
big deal, because I'm created
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by God, in His image.
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When He speaks things happen.
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So when I speak things
happen either positive or
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negative and God Himself
has to start teaching me that.
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I believe with everything
in me that the only way for
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recovery, the only way
for me to get from one place
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in my twistedness.
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Starting to untwist is
to understand who God is,
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and start asking Him,
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God I think I've messed it up.
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You know what's really
funny to me is when I think we
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get to that place all
of heaven says, you think.
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Do you know what I mean?
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I just feel like it is in such
love, day just think, you think!
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All of a sudden we ask,
that's all we have to do.
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We have had addicts on
this season who said the only
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thing I could say to God
for months was, please help me!
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Please help me!
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I don't even know, I don't
know how to, and I have talked
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about this story before.
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They're sending an
addict over to my Pastor's house
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one time, and we have a
couple pastures in the café
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today, I want to say welcome.
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But they sent this
addict to my Pastor's house,
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and this guy was angry
all the time, all the time.
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I'm thinking God
this guy just irritates me
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I can't believe that
he doesn't irritate You.
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God says, I love that
guy, do you know what I mean?
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I love him, but I sent
him over to my Pastor's house.
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He comes back over and
says, that guy is an idiot.
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I hate him and if you
knew what he believed you would
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not be in his church.
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And you know what he
says something, Cheri, what's
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incredible about that, he
will look at me and say, it's
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in the Bible.
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He said, and I grabbed
him by the shirt collar
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and I almost bashed his face
in and then I realized, wait a
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minute, this is
Cheri's Pastor, she likes him.
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So he decided not to hit him.
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I said, what did he say to you?
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What you knew the dude I
accepted, Jesus, I said, yeah.
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He said that dude
was 3 dudes in one.
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Oh Hon, sit down.
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When we come to God we don't
know a thing, we just don't
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know thing, we don't
even know what to ask.
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God said, you know what
sometimes the best you can do,
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is just say, HELP ME!
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Help me, help me to
untwist, help me to understand,
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help me to get out
from all this kind of stuff.
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God says, I will
speak life into you.
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I will speak in all the
damage that was done to you,
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I am not going to
come in with a Band-Aid,
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and a lot of
people try to do that.
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A lot of people come in
and say just go to a 12-step
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program, and I am not
knocking 12-step programs.
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Just go in and
learn about self-esteem.
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Just go in and start
dealing with your depression.
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All at stuff is good
but it's like Band-Aids.
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I need to change the
very core of who I am.
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I need to change what I think.
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I need to really realize
the vows I made in my life,
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and be able to surrender
those and give them back
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to God and say, how
to get away from those?
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How do I realize
that there is I can trust.
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I can step out of hiding
and I can step out of these
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addictions, I can heal.
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I actually can
do more than that.
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I'm a heroine
addict in recovery, right?
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When I came into my
recovery I was a 100 pounds,
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teeth missing and strung
out on heroine, illiterate.
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I stopped using heroin I
was like Yahoo, look at me!
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I'm a life not using heroin
and I thought I wanted to tell
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everybody that.
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Hi my name is Cheri, I
haven't used today at all.
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People are like, what
ever, do you know what I mean?
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Most people, every
addict in the room says Amen.
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Because sometimes if
I didn't use in the last
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15 minutes, it was good.
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But it was like, I
was so proud of that.
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God said, when you
were less than 1 year old,
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I was molested at
3 months old, right?
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Constantly, I shouldn't
say constantly, but frequently.
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So before I was a 1 old I
knew the world was not safe.
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Before I was a 1 year old.
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God and not only has to
take this heroine addict,
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or what ever
addiction you are dealing with,
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not only takes us out of
that but says can I step you
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out of that junk and let
you feels what it feels like
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to be out of hiding, to
be out of all the damage.
00:10:11.56\00:10:16.02
To all the sudden look up
and say, God, you know what,
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I am kind of glad
to be alive today.
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I was suicidal my
whole life and God says,
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can I step you up out of
that and show you that there
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is going to be a time in
your life that you are going to
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be glad you are alive?
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That you are going to
contribute back to the people
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around you, you are
actually going to bring life to
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people that are in
darkness in the same place
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you were in darkness.
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Every molested kid, I
want to will grab them and say,
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you know what, there is
a God that will take all
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that from you and
stand you up pure and holy,
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in the presence of a holy God.
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Where you love who you are.
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Where you can stay present
with the people in your life,
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especially with your
husband, and with your wife,
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all those kind of things.
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God does all that and so
how do I connect with that God?
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Through prayer, and we
always say that and think people
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will understand what we mean.
00:11:07.20\00:11:08.30
People don't understand
what we mean, what is prayer?
00:11:08.34\00:11:10.94
What does that mean, and
it literally is a dialogue,
00:11:10.97\00:11:13.53
conversation with God.
00:11:13.57\00:11:15.39
God, Cheri here, do
you know what I mean?
00:11:15.43\00:11:18.20
I don't even know
how to talk to You.
00:11:18.23\00:11:20.64
It's so funny, I
worked with this addict.
00:11:20.68\00:11:23.01
You have to just imagine
addicts because they are so
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funny, but I worked with
this addict, strung out for
00:11:25.69\00:11:28.93
ever, just out to lunch
and doesn't know anything.
00:11:28.96\00:11:32.16
Doesn't even
hardly, you can't trust him.
00:11:32.20\00:11:35.41
He opens his mouth and
his lips are moving but he
00:11:35.45\00:11:37.39
is lying to you about
something, you just know that.
00:11:37.43\00:11:39.34
He rips people off,
his first conscious act,
00:11:39.37\00:11:43.86
where his conscious
just peaked him and got
00:11:43.90\00:11:48.35
him to think about something.
00:11:48.39\00:11:49.46
He is in this store and
trying to do recovery and picks
00:11:49.50\00:11:51.83
up some cereal, because
he wants to get some cereal.
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He puts it in his cart and
then he goes a couple aisles
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over and says, you know
I don't even want cereal.
00:11:57.56\00:11:59.91
I want peanut butter,
so he gets peanut butter
00:11:59.95\00:12:01.99
and puts the cereal
where the peanut butter
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was and puts the peanut
butter in his cart and goes on.
00:12:04.04\00:12:06.36
All of a sudden he
hears the Holy Spirit say,
00:12:06.40\00:12:08.59
that is not
where the cereal goes.
00:12:08.63\00:12:10.35
He's like, oh shut up,
what do you mean that it's
00:12:10.38\00:12:13.86
not where the cereal goes?
00:12:13.90\00:12:15.25
Cereal is 2 aisles over.
00:12:15.28\00:12:16.56
God wants to clean us
up, so he is nice about that.
00:12:16.60\00:12:19.90
It's nice for you
to go put the cereal
00:12:19.94\00:12:21.98
back where it belongs.
00:12:22.01\00:12:23.20
This addict is saying,
last week I was ripping off
00:12:23.23\00:12:26.07
people's wallets,
you know what I mean?
00:12:26.11\00:12:28.37
This cereal is no
big deal, God says,
00:12:28.40\00:12:30.04
that is not
where the cereal goes.
00:12:30.07\00:12:31.64
So finally after he just
cannot stop thinking about
00:12:31.67\00:12:34.99
this, he goes back to
the aisle, gets the cereal
00:12:35.02\00:12:37.65
and goes back 2 aisles
and puts it on the shelf.
00:12:37.69\00:12:41.07
That is the connection
with God, how do you get from
00:12:41.11\00:12:44.00
that place to where you
are actually talking with God?
00:12:44.03\00:12:46.89
How do you do that?
00:12:46.92\00:12:47.95
How do you pray, how do
you start that dialogue?
00:12:47.98\00:12:49.97
With this addict he
starts, the first time
00:12:50.01\00:12:52.65
I heard him
pray it was so funny.
00:12:52.69\00:12:54.38
He gets on his knees,
serious and a he's a little bit
00:12:54.41\00:12:58.04
trembling, because he
doesn't know what he is doing.
00:12:58.08\00:13:00.10
Cheri, what do I say?
00:13:00.13\00:13:01.68
Say anything, you know
it's God and He loves you.
00:13:01.72\00:13:05.54
Alright, Cheri, I don't
know how can you just pray?
00:13:05.57\00:13:09.35
No it would be good
if you prayed, alright.
00:13:09.39\00:13:11.11
God bestow on me this
day, and I'm thinking where
00:13:11.14\00:13:15.52
did he get that, bestow on me?
00:13:15.55\00:13:17.46
It's really tough because
I wanted to just bust up,
00:13:17.50\00:13:20.44
I want to laugh out
loud, but somebody is trembling
00:13:20.48\00:13:23.38
and praying for
the first time you have
00:13:23.42\00:13:24.83
got to give them a break.
00:13:24.86\00:13:26.03
So I'm thinking, for a lot
of us, the secret to recovery
00:13:26.06\00:13:30.90
is our starting to
communicate with God.
00:13:30.93\00:13:33.28
To start to say, God
help me, help me not only with
00:13:33.31\00:13:36.76
learning to pray but
with my, the Bible calls them
00:13:36.80\00:13:40.22
strong holds, with
the stuff that has got
00:13:40.25\00:13:42.69
me all twisted up in bondage.
00:13:42.72\00:13:44.33
With the vows that I
made even sometimes before
00:13:44.37\00:13:46.40
I learned to speak,
help me with all that.
00:13:46.43\00:13:48.16
But I need to learn to
speak to God, and sometimes
00:13:48.19\00:13:50.64
you are going to want
to get on your knees and
00:13:50.68\00:13:53.09
you will want it to
be just a holy thing.
00:13:53.13\00:13:55.75
Just God I realize who you
are as somebody that created
00:13:55.79\00:13:59.23
the entire Universe and
created me and knows everything
00:13:59.26\00:14:02.67
about me and my family.
00:14:02.70\00:14:04.07
I want to stay in
just reverence of that.
00:14:04.10\00:14:06.18
There is other
times you are going to be
00:14:06.22\00:14:08.01
walking down the
street and hey man,
00:14:08.05\00:14:09.78
are you hanging out,
are you here with me?
00:14:09.81\00:14:12.80
It's going to be
a very casual thing.
00:14:12.83\00:14:14.62
There sometimes that I
have a friend that lays on the
00:14:14.65\00:14:17.66
ground and just puts her
arms out and lays flat on the
00:14:17.70\00:14:20.48
ground, because she feels
like she wants to do that.
00:14:20.52\00:14:23.08
So you can speak to God
just like you speak to any
00:14:23.12\00:14:25.52
friend, sometimes you
are going to be more serious,
00:14:25.55\00:14:27.92
sometimes you're not.
00:14:27.95\00:14:28.98
But God says however
you speak to Me, don't ever
00:14:29.01\00:14:31.54
for a minute think
that I don't hear you.
00:14:31.57\00:14:33.04
I hear every single
thing you say in my delight is
00:14:33.08\00:14:36.14
to bring you into
recovery, my delight is to help
00:14:36.18\00:14:39.14
you laugh out loud, to be
comfortable in your own skin,
00:14:39.18\00:14:42.17
to be able to stand up
and walk away from that junk,
00:14:42.20\00:14:45.16
not to look at the
junk the rest of your life.
00:14:45.19\00:14:47.08
You don't have to stay focused
on this the rest of your life.
00:14:47.12\00:14:49.77
God said I created
you for incredible things,
00:14:49.80\00:14:52.03
and you don't even
know the gifts you have.
00:14:52.07\00:14:54.17
I want to show you
that stuff, and that's
00:14:54.20\00:14:56.27
where it gets exciting.
00:14:56.30\00:14:57.34
So stay with us, we are
going to look at some of that
00:14:57.37\00:14:59.34
stuff and that is my favorite.
00:14:59.38\00:15:00.96
We will be right back!
00:15:01.00\00:15:02.08