On the last segment we
left and David we were talking
00:00:13.64\00:00:16.70
about you grabbed a gun
and put it up to your chin,
00:00:16.73\00:00:19.53
everybody is screaming,
they think you are dead,
00:00:19.56\00:00:22.32
your son called
911, your mom came over.
00:00:22.35\00:00:28.29
In all that chaos take
us to what happened next.
00:00:28.33\00:00:33.16
Well the sheriff's
department showed up,
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of course and the paramedics.
00:00:35.36\00:00:36.72
They called Nashville, to
a trauma center to try to get
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a helicopter to come out
and get me, but they couldn't
00:00:40.99\00:00:45.17
get a helicopter to get
me because he was picking
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somebody else up.
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The other guy
couldn't fly in bad weather.
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They decided to take
me to a local hospital.
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My sheriff, and some
of the deputies there,
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said they had wrote
me off for being dead.
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We didn't think you
could make it because of the
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injuries were so severe.
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So everything was
broken in-your-face and
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half your face was...
00:01:03.38\00:01:04.41
My right side of my face
was actually touching the
00:01:04.44\00:01:07.87
middle of my right shoulder.
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Cheri: nose was gone
and all that was gone.
00:01:09.55\00:01:11.54
My nose was gone, and I
can't see out of this eye
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anymore, or hardly anything.
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The paramedics said my
eye ball was actually moved,
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it wasn't in the same spot.
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It really freaked all of
them out and most of them
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hadn't seen, and I
live in a little area.
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I have seen the pictures
and they freaked me out.
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Yeah so you can
imagine them guys that day.
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One of the officers told
me he actually had a panic
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attack, he said, I
had to leave the room.
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They don't see that many
gunshot victims were I live.
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So they took me to
that local hospital,
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my family was holding out hope,
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the doctors told my
wife we have to get him to
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Nashville, to a trauma center.
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We are afraid he is going
to die, we are not equipped
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for this kind of injury.
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So they decide to take me 2
and 1/2 hours in an ambulance.
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When they told Amy that
she was in so much shock
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she don't remember
seeing any blood and
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she was covered in it.
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She said what you
mean he's going to die,
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he was just
talking to me at home?
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And the doctor just told
her, the sheriff's department,
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there is no way
that he talked to you.
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They said the tip of
his tongue is blown off,
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the rest of my
tongue was split in 2,
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and the roof of my
mouth was disintegrated.
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Cheri: and every bone
in your face was broken.
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David: right and they
said how could he talk,
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but I did.
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I talked to the
paramedics, the police,
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I talked to my wife, my mother.
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The only way I can
explain that, in my own mind,
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was God gave me the
ability that day to tell those
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2 women I was sorry.
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When I woke up 3
days later in Nashville,
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it took me 2 months to learn
how to start speaking again.
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And about a year
before you could understand
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everything that I say.
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It was the ambulance
ride that was the greatest
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ride of my life.
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It was in that ambulance
that 2 and 1/2 hours because,
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I didn't know it at the
time, that was my Damascus Road
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to where I met our
Savior in that ambulance.
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Cheri: I wish I would be,
you know when somebody says,
00:02:53.64\00:02:56.22
a fly on the wall, I
wish I was in that ambulance
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because I bet God
just loved on you.
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David: oh yeah He did and
that is what changed my life.
00:03:01.24\00:03:06.45
I haven't been
the same man since
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I came home from that hospital.
00:03:07.86\00:03:09.14
They actually woke me
up 13 hours later after I
00:03:09.17\00:03:13.03
finally made it to
Nashville, and told my wife they
00:03:13.06\00:03:16.24
had worked on me a number
of hours, they would lose me
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and bring me back.
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But 13 hours later is when they
woke me up, I don't remember
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that, I don't
remember nothing for 3 days.
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My wife, my sister and my
cousin Debbie, 3 women around
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the bed and they give
me a notebook and a pen.
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Fox news, out of Minneapolis,
wanted to do a special
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on the things I wrote,
which surprised me that the
00:03:34.94\00:03:37.69
secular media, they would
want to do that but I let them
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do the story on it.
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The first thing I
wrote in big letters was
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Jesus loves you all.
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Then I wrote, Peter, Paul,
and John and upside down cross,
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and a regular cross and I
wrote some people's names.
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I cannot explain why I
wrote them, I don't remember
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nothing, but I wrote EV Hill.
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What really amazed
me was I asked my wife,
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who is EV Hill?
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She said that is a black
preacher that use to come
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on TV that she would watch.
00:04:00.74\00:04:01.93
I would come in
and be cursing the guy.
00:04:01.96\00:04:04.59
Anything that had to do
with God, I wanted to reject and
00:04:04.62\00:04:08.71
would say why are
you watching this junk?
00:04:08.74\00:04:10.34
Cheri: but it
stayed in your head,
00:04:10.38\00:04:12.63
David: No! I did not
remember him, but it stayed in
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my wife's head, so I
didn't remember, I had no idea.
00:04:16.29\00:04:19.85
I asked her who is EV Hill and
00:04:19.89\00:04:21.52
she explained it to me later.
00:04:21.56\00:04:23.13
But what amazed me,
EV Hill died 3 days after
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I shot myself, the day
I came back to my senses,
00:04:26.71\00:04:30.19
EV Hill passed away.
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That has always
fascinated me, why I would write
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his name, why it
would be on my mind at that
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particular time,
I can't explain it.
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Cheri: you know what is
amazing about all that is that
00:04:41.71\00:04:44.95
as people talk about, or when
say they want to minister to
00:04:44.99\00:04:48.20
somebody that is
completely out to lunch.
00:04:48.23\00:04:50.84
Frying on drugs,
lost in their addictions,
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and it is amazing
to me what stays in.
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Those seeds that we think
really find no ground at all,
00:04:56.27\00:04:59.72
and you say you know
what don't even try to guess,
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God will use that in
the middle of a coma.
00:05:03.20\00:05:06.32
You know what I thought
was funny the first time
00:05:06.35\00:05:09.24
I heard your testimony,
or you speak, is that at one
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point you decide,
laying there, face blown off
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and they are trying to
reconstruct everything,
00:05:14.39\00:05:16.63
I think I'm not
going to do drugs anymore.
00:05:16.66\00:05:18.86
I'm like Amen!
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Medically right now you are.
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Yeah I'm pretty slick aren't I?
00:05:24.34\00:05:27.01
But all of heaven
must think, you think!
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Well hey, I was in the
hospital with a guy that was
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paralyzed from his
neck down going after Meth.
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And me and him was
both at the crossroads,
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my face blown
off, and him paralyzed,
00:05:40.54\00:05:42.40
but yet I decided to ask
God into my heart and ask
00:05:42.43\00:05:46.74
Him please help change my heart,
00:05:46.77\00:05:48.91
forgive me for what I've done.
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I would cry and cry, the
guilt of my kids would flash
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over me, but he, we
was both at the crossroads.
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I've prayed to God that
he finally seen the light,
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because his wife was going
to get him Meth and bring it
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to the rehab center and
put it in his stomach tube.
00:06:02.72\00:06:05.15
He had told her there
was no way he could stop.
00:06:05.18\00:06:07.58
What has to happen
to a man to change him,
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what has to happen?
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I had hung myself, I've
been shot once before because
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of drugs and alcohol, years
earlier in my right shoulder
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with a 38, it didn't change me.
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Cheri: as you speak we
are going to show a graphic of
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you in the hospital and
them reconstructing your face.
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Because they literally
had to reconstruct your face,
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build you a nose, talk about
some of that kind of stuff.
00:06:33.11\00:06:37.56
Well over the last 5 and 1/2
years I have had 30 surgeries
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or more, I don't even know now.
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I just have won
a couple weeks ago.
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They actually built my
nose from my forehead and when
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I first came home, I had
wrote on a notebook the 6th
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day in the hospital, I
wrote to my wife I want to tell
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people the truth about drugs.
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God had put that on my
heart from the first week
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I was in the hospital.
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When I first came home
and Amy kept saying are you
00:07:00.49\00:07:02.89
going to talk to people?
00:07:02.93\00:07:04.00
I'd said, not yet
because the doctors told me one
00:07:04.03\00:07:06.44
day they would be able to
make me look pretty normal.
00:07:06.48\00:07:08.68
When I first came home I
didn't have a nose at all,
00:07:08.71\00:07:10.88
not even any holes to
breath out of and I was
00:07:10.91\00:07:13.27
embarrassed
about the way I looked.
00:07:13.30\00:07:14.76
Amy kept saying don't
wait until they fix you.
00:07:14.79\00:07:18.21
She said, go now
and let them see what
00:07:18.25\00:07:19.29
it has done to you.
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Tell them what it has
done to our family and
00:07:20.38\00:07:22.26
you hope they get
help before it kills them.
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If they haven't stopped
maybe they will stop before
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it kills them, if
they haven't started
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maybe they won't start.
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I realized Amy was right.
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I am no longer embarrassed
about the way I look.
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I felt bad about
that way in the beginning,
00:07:37.70\00:07:39.67
but I'm just thankful to
God that I am still here.
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They eventually took skin
off my forehead and built my
00:07:42.54\00:07:45.27
nose, and took bone out of my
hip, that's the bone in my nose.
00:07:45.31\00:07:48.11
I have had 5 bone graphs, 2
out of each hip, and one out of
00:07:48.15\00:07:50.92
my rib into my face, a
bone where my teeth go on
00:07:50.95\00:07:54.82
the bottom and top.
00:07:54.86\00:07:55.89
One day they will put
implants in eventually.
00:07:55.92\00:07:57.55
I have had skin grafts off both
my legs and one off the back
00:07:57.58\00:08:01.76
of my ear into my
face in different areas.
00:08:01.80\00:08:04.84
I have got over 30 titanium
plates and screws to hold
00:08:04.87\00:08:08.42
hold my sinus in
and my face together.
00:08:08.45\00:08:10.36
When I first started
speaking, going out to churches
00:08:10.40\00:08:13.51
and stuff, I used to have
a tracheae that stuck out of
00:08:13.54\00:08:16.10
my throat and I would hold
that tracheae and be able to
00:08:16.13\00:08:18.51
talk to the kids otherwise
all the air would run out.
00:08:18.55\00:08:20.89
Since then they have
taken the tracheae out.
00:08:20.92\00:08:24.85
In the beginning it
was hard to understand me.
00:08:24.88\00:08:27.65
Cheri: I hate to
interrupt but do you know,
00:08:27.68\00:08:30.38
I want to say, is David
you are so handsome to me.
00:08:30.42\00:08:32.77
I think that what God
has done in your life,
00:08:32.80\00:08:34.51
and the fact that you
have a passion to educate kids,
00:08:34.54\00:08:37.51
that there is going to
be children not using drugs
00:08:37.55\00:08:40.48
because of meeting you.
00:08:40.52\00:08:41.79
I just think how cool are you.
00:08:41.83\00:08:43.61
The fact that
nothing stops you from that.
00:08:43.64\00:08:46.65
You have even educated
yourself on drugs and Meth
00:08:46.68\00:08:50.27
and some things that we
need to know, I would like
00:08:50.30\00:08:53.48
you to share a little
bit of that with us too.
00:08:53.52\00:08:56.26
So what have you found
out about this drug beyond
00:08:56.30\00:08:59.08
what you knew even in
your own little circle?
00:08:59.11\00:09:01.96
Some of the things
that I have learned from the
00:09:02.00\00:09:04.81
researches,
things like the dopamine,
00:09:04.85\00:09:07.60
where Meth affects the
dopamine in our brains,
00:09:07.64\00:09:10.01
floods our brain with dopamine,
00:09:10.04\00:09:11.73
which is very
damaging to the brain cells,
00:09:11.77\00:09:14.35
for one thing.
00:09:14.39\00:09:15.72
Cheri: it tells us
everything is great.
00:09:15.75\00:09:17.41
We could be
seconds before death and
00:09:17.44\00:09:19.06
we think we're doing great.
00:09:19.09\00:09:20.12
David: absolutely, it
is what makes us feel good.
00:09:20.15\00:09:22.85
Just like for example,
if you took a good peach
00:09:22.88\00:09:25.61
and take a bite
out of peach and say,
00:09:25.64\00:09:27.31
mmmm that peach is good.
00:09:27.35\00:09:28.83
That is the dopamine
has kicked into your brain.
00:09:28.86\00:09:31.04
Some of the experts, from
the studies that I've done,
00:09:31.08\00:09:34.64
says that once it
damages that dopamine that you
00:09:34.67\00:09:38.07
will never feel good
about anything again.
00:09:38.10\00:09:40.02
I don't agree with that,
because I believe our God is
00:09:40.05\00:09:43.98
the great Healer
and that He can heal.
00:09:44.01\00:09:46.11
I know nowadays I can
take a bite out of a peach and
00:09:46.14\00:09:49.97
it is the same as before.
00:09:50.01\00:09:51.25
Cheri: You can
laugh at your children.
00:09:51.28\00:09:52.84
David: I laugh at
my kids and have fun,
00:09:52.88\00:09:54.37
watching movies with
them and I feel better than
00:09:54.40\00:09:57.31
I have ever felt before.
00:09:57.34\00:09:58.48
Some of the other
research, that was really
00:09:58.51\00:10:00.58
fascinating to me
that I came across,
00:10:00.62\00:10:02.37
was how Meth is such
an epidemic world wide.
00:10:02.40\00:10:05.08
I used to think it was
just a drug here in the
00:10:05.12\00:10:07.37
United States, but
when I found out is that it
00:10:07.40\00:10:09.31
didn't even originate
here in the United States.
00:10:09.35\00:10:11.23
It's not, like I
thought, our drug.
00:10:11.26\00:10:13.72
It originated, they
believe, with Japan and Germany
00:10:13.76\00:10:19.31
during World War II.
00:10:19.34\00:10:20.67
They actually had amphetamines
before that, but the
00:10:20.71\00:10:23.50
methamphetamine was
created during that time period.
00:10:23.54\00:10:26.29
Cheri: To keep
soldiers up at night.
00:10:26.33\00:10:27.67
David: yeah they started
using it with the soldiers.
00:10:27.71\00:10:29.69
Japan, they said, would
use it not only with soldiers,
00:10:29.72\00:10:31.67
but with factory workers.
00:10:31.71\00:10:33.21
Adolph Hitler, they claim,
used it every day just about.
00:10:33.24\00:10:36.81
He would have injections,
had chocolates outside of his
00:10:36.84\00:10:40.37
room, his office that is.
00:10:40.41\00:10:42.33
Cheri: I just got back
from the Czech Republic and
00:10:42.36\00:10:44.20
really popular
over there with dancers,
00:10:44.23\00:10:46.99
with people that
like partying and go
00:10:47.02\00:10:49.75
the whole dance scene.
00:10:49.78\00:10:51.14
Everybody, well not
everybody, but tons of
00:10:51.18\00:10:54.29
young people are
strung out on Meth.
00:10:54.32\00:10:56.41
David: and they use
it with the soldiers.
00:10:56.44\00:10:58.65
They said it worked
pretty well in the beginning
00:10:58.68\00:11:01.37
because, being a
stimulant, they would fight for
00:11:01.41\00:11:04.06
days at a time without a break.
00:11:04.10\00:11:05.50
Some of my research
said it was so effective with
00:11:05.54\00:11:08.89
Germany that the United
States government and Britain
00:11:08.92\00:11:11.94
government actually started
to give it to our soldiers
00:11:11.98\00:11:14.97
during World War II.
00:11:15.00\00:11:16.03
But they said in a short
period of time they would
00:11:16.06\00:11:18.18
become paranoid
schizophrenic, and of course you
00:11:18.21\00:11:20.53
can't control a guy
with a machine gun that's
00:11:20.56\00:11:22.84
going to act like that.
00:11:22.88\00:11:23.91
We actually stopped
using it, and by the time
00:11:23.94\00:11:25.58
by the time Japan outlawed
it, it was plum up in the 1950's
00:11:25.62\00:11:30.96
from what I
remember, but it was too late,
00:11:31.00\00:11:33.17
this thing had
spread like wildfire.
00:11:33.21\00:11:35.91
Some of the first ones
in the United States to
00:11:35.94\00:11:38.31
actually start pushing
this drug was the Hells Angels.
00:11:38.34\00:11:41.44
Most of those guys, in
that biker gang, the leaders,
00:11:41.47\00:11:44.54
was ex-military
men from World War II.
00:11:44.57\00:11:46.94
That is where we got
the name crank, they would
00:11:46.97\00:11:49.73
hide it close to the
crankshaft of their motorcycles.
00:11:49.76\00:11:52.34
That is where the
word crank came about.
00:11:52.38\00:11:54.05
Once the Hells Angels and
Bambinos, lot of the biker gangs
00:11:54.08\00:11:59.28
out Southwest, was
running the Meth labs.
00:11:59.32\00:12:01.73
Once the Internet came around,
00:12:01.76\00:12:03.69
that's when I think
it really spread around.
00:12:03.72\00:12:05.99
In my research, I haven't
actually seen nothing that
00:12:06.03\00:12:08.69
said that, but just from
following it over the years,
00:12:08.73\00:12:11.18
and the research you can
see when the Internet got a
00:12:11.21\00:12:13.63
hold of the recipes,
here is how you make it.
00:12:13.67\00:12:17.38
Right my now there's
198,000 recipes on how to
00:12:17.41\00:12:21.09
manufacture Meth.
00:12:21.12\00:12:22.26
Of course most of them are
wrong, and I tell kids they
00:12:22.30\00:12:25.18
either have steps missing,
or backwards and this stuff
00:12:25.22\00:12:28.07
is so at explosive
if you have it wrong,
00:12:28.10\00:12:29.88
it's going to kill you.
00:12:29.92\00:12:30.95
Once the Internet got a
hold of those recipes, that
00:12:30.98\00:12:33.95
seems like when it just
exploded across the country.
00:12:33.99\00:12:37.06
Now I have been from
one corner of the nation,
00:12:37.09\00:12:40.10
and I'm going to New
York here again in another
00:12:40.13\00:12:42.69
month or two, then I
will be in New Mexico,
00:12:42.72\00:12:45.24
and Canada, and California.
00:12:45.28\00:12:46.73
Every corner I have been at
there's methamphetamine use.
00:12:46.77\00:12:50.85
You go back 20 years ago,
just 20 years, it wasn't like
00:12:50.89\00:12:54.93
that as far as this drug here.
00:12:54.97\00:12:57.66
This drug has really
taken over, and we ought to be
00:12:57.70\00:13:00.71
really afraid of it.
00:13:00.75\00:13:01.78
Any drug that will
take a person on 20 bucks,
00:13:01.81\00:13:05.80
take a teenager and keep
them awake for 2 or 3 days.
00:13:05.84\00:13:08.46
It's a very dangerous
drug because any teenager
00:13:08.49\00:13:11.70
can come up with 20 bucks.
00:13:11.73\00:13:13.03
And you can ask a teenager,
we asked some one time in
00:13:13.07\00:13:16.22
an audience of about 1500
teenagers, how fast would it
00:13:16.25\00:13:19.36
take you to get some Meth?
00:13:19.40\00:13:21.14
One boy said 5
minutes, all I have to do is go
00:13:21.17\00:13:23.43
walk to the lockers.
00:13:23.47\00:13:25.24
We have asked another
group of about a 1000,
00:13:25.28\00:13:27.99
9th graders in Texas,
have you been affected by Meth,
00:13:28.03\00:13:30.99
by either somebody using
it, somebody close to you,
00:13:31.02\00:13:33.95
or someone you know?
00:13:33.98\00:13:35.01
95% of them put up their hands.
00:13:35.04\00:13:37.02
It really shocked the
newspaper people in that town
00:13:37.06\00:13:39.73
down in San Angelo.
00:13:39.76\00:13:41.01
They just couldn't
believe that the percentage
00:13:41.04\00:13:43.25
was that high.
00:13:43.28\00:13:44.31
It did not shock me at
all because this is really
00:13:44.34\00:13:46.55
a drug of that
generation has embraced.
00:13:46.58\00:13:49.39
For one thing in our society
it is all about go, go, go.
00:13:49.43\00:13:53.05
We've got fast food, movies
and all this stuff that is
00:13:53.08\00:13:56.67
about going and going.
00:13:56.70\00:13:58.63
So this drug fits
right into this generation,
00:13:58.66\00:14:02.07
culture and it is
really terrifying to see.
00:14:02.10\00:14:05.47
For us who have been
through it we know how fast it
00:14:05.50\00:14:08.69
will damage a person.
00:14:08.72\00:14:10.24
If you have any love it
all in your heart for people,
00:14:10.28\00:14:14.62
you are going to feel
emotionally affected by watching
00:14:14.65\00:14:18.96
young people destroy themselves.
00:14:19.00\00:14:20.78
Cheri: we have to have
you back on because I want
00:14:20.82\00:14:23.76
that you have all kinds
of research on Meth houses,
00:14:23.79\00:14:26.70
on children that are
raised in Meth houses,
00:14:26.74\00:14:28.75
and what is
happening in their communities.
00:14:28.78\00:14:30.72
I want to cover all that,
but what I want to ask you
00:14:30.76\00:14:35.28
before we open
it up for questions.
00:14:35.31\00:14:36.59
I want to ask you
why does the church need
00:14:36.63\00:14:38.70
to know about this?
00:14:38.73\00:14:39.76
David: because the church
has the answer to the problem.
00:14:39.79\00:14:44.14
God has the answer to any
problem there is an life and I
00:14:44.18\00:14:48.59
think we all agree,
from our experiences,
00:14:48.62\00:14:51.58
that God is the answer.
00:14:51.62\00:14:53.15
The church has
the greatest weapon,
00:14:53.18\00:14:55.10
but fact is they are
the spear to go into this.
00:14:55.13\00:14:58.50
I believe it's the devil's
drug, and the church should
00:14:58.53\00:15:01.00
be the spear to
go into the devil,
00:15:01.03\00:15:03.12
to make a change
in our communities.
00:15:03.15\00:15:04.79
Cheri: we need to
educate ourselves.
00:15:04.83\00:15:06.39
We need to understand
that we are the answer,
00:15:06.43\00:15:08.51
and this is
hopeless unless we step in.
00:15:08.55\00:15:11.22
David: you watch any
other tragedy in our country,
00:15:11.26\00:15:13.48
Katrina the hurricane.
00:15:13.51\00:15:15.14
What would have
happened to those people if the
00:15:15.18\00:15:18.06
Christian community
hadn't stepped in to help?
00:15:18.10\00:15:20.91
It is the same with drug
addiction, if the Christian
00:15:20.95\00:15:24.25
community does
not step in to help,
00:15:24.28\00:15:27.09
then there is no
hope for them at all.
00:15:27.12\00:15:29.86
For communities to sit back,
I has seen some communities
00:15:29.90\00:15:33.30
that don't want to
admit they have a problem.
00:15:33.33\00:15:34.73
They say it is
not that bad here.
00:15:34.77\00:15:36.35
I lived in a community
like that and what I tell them
00:15:36.39\00:15:38.91
is that our communities
are no different than an
00:15:38.94\00:15:41.40
alcoholic and until we
admit there is a problem
00:15:41.44\00:15:43.98
in our area, there is
no fixing that problem,
00:15:44.01\00:15:46.52
and we won't know where to go.
00:15:46.55\00:15:48.48
Cheri: but as soon as we admit
00:15:48.52\00:15:50.38
David: but as soon as we
admit it and start looking
00:15:50.41\00:15:51.76
for solutions, and
start praying about it,
00:15:51.80\00:15:53.61
and having the church involved.
00:15:53.65\00:15:55.48
The Black communities
did this with crack cocaine,
00:15:55.51\00:15:58.03
and I admired
them so much for that.
00:15:58.06\00:16:00.14
Crack cocaine is a drug
that devastated so many young
00:16:00.18\00:16:04.21
black men and women in
the 1980's when I was a
00:16:04.24\00:16:07.47
teenager in the inner
cities, but yet some of the
00:16:07.51\00:16:10.71
churches in these
inner cities stepped in.
00:16:10.74\00:16:12.60
They turned their churches
into places where they were
00:16:12.63\00:16:15.57
take in the orphans.
00:16:15.61\00:16:16.94
And drug education,
and now here we are this
00:16:16.98\00:16:20.11
many years later from
the 80's and there is a lot
00:16:20.14\00:16:23.35
of black youth that
wouldn't touch crack cocaine
00:16:23.39\00:16:26.79
with a 10 foot pole
because of the church leaders
00:16:26.83\00:16:30.19
and their congregation, those
sheep that stepped in and made
00:16:30.23\00:16:34.20
a stand to protect
those young people.
00:16:34.23\00:16:36.28
They are the ones
that made a difference,
00:16:36.31\00:16:38.29
and we have to the same
thing with methamphetamine.
00:16:38.32\00:16:42.74
Cheri: because
we are the answer.
00:16:42.78\00:16:44.77
I'm going to open up the floor.
00:16:44.81\00:16:46.73
I know that we
have some questions,
00:16:46.77\00:16:49.48
Susan you had some questions.
00:16:49.52\00:16:50.88
I do have a question,
first thank you for your
00:16:50.91\00:16:53.58
testimony, it
has been a blessing.
00:16:53.61\00:16:54.73
I too am an ex-Meth
user, and for me and
00:16:54.76\00:16:58.47
my recovery was forgiveness.
00:16:58.51\00:17:00.01
At what point were you
able to, because you talked
00:17:00.05\00:17:02.78
about earlier in the
beginning of your story how you
00:17:02.81\00:17:05.55
felt guilty about things,
when were you able to reach that
00:17:05.59\00:17:08.29
point of forgiveness,
and was it a turning point
00:17:08.33\00:17:10.87
for you in your life?
00:17:10.90\00:17:12.01
Cheri: so you're even
saying forgive himself?
00:17:12.04\00:17:13.89
Susan: correct!
00:17:13.92\00:17:14.95
David: I found that not
only with me, but with so many
00:17:14.98\00:17:18.35
other people, whether
you are a Meth addict,
00:17:18.39\00:17:20.67
alcoholic or
whatever it is addiction,
00:17:20.70\00:17:23.05
it seems like its hardest
for us to forgive ourselves.
00:17:23.08\00:17:26.78
I wish I could give you
a point in time where I had
00:17:26.82\00:17:30.49
forgiven myself,
it's been 5 and 1/2 years.
00:17:30.52\00:17:32.94
Right when I think I
have forgiven myself,
00:17:32.97\00:17:35.35
then I will start
feeling bad again.
00:17:35.39\00:17:37.77
Cheri: something else comes up.
00:17:37.80\00:17:39.12
David: another memory
comes up and I have to deal with
00:17:39.15\00:17:41.89
that, but we have
to finish the race,
00:17:41.93\00:17:45.74
run the race and
we go day by day,
00:17:45.77\00:17:49.52
and we deal with those
issues as they come up.
00:17:49.55\00:17:51.79
Right now I feel really
good, and I feel like I have
00:17:51.82\00:17:54.64
forgiven myself because
I know God has forgiven me.
00:17:54.67\00:17:57.44
my children have
forgiven me and that is how
00:17:57.47\00:17:59.81
I am able to get up in
front of so many people.
00:17:59.85\00:18:02.11
When teenagers say how
can you get up and talk about
00:18:02.15\00:18:04.52
how you slapped your wife
and neglected your children,
00:18:04.55\00:18:06.89
isn't that hard?
00:18:06.93\00:18:08.22
I said well it seems hard,
it was hard in the beginning
00:18:08.25\00:18:10.91
just getting up in front
of people, but when you know
00:18:10.94\00:18:13.54
that you have been forgiven,
and you know your wife and
00:18:13.57\00:18:16.08
kids have forgiven you, and
you know you are trying to do
00:18:16.11\00:18:18.59
help somebody, it
makes it so much easier.
00:18:18.62\00:18:20.84
God has blessed me with
the boldness to be able to do
00:18:20.87\00:18:23.76
that, but I do have days
and times when I'm in Hotels
00:18:23.79\00:18:26.48
a by myself that some of
those feelings will come back
00:18:26.52\00:18:29.18
of sadness and guilt.
00:18:29.21\00:18:30.75
It always makes me feel
better to read my Bible,
00:18:30.79\00:18:33.96
or call my wife and
talk to her and the kids and
00:18:34.00\00:18:37.14
listen to them tell
me how they love me.
00:18:37.17\00:18:39.82
Cheri: so you actually
have to go to the word of God,
00:18:39.86\00:18:41.83
and the word of God
says, I don't remember,
00:18:41.87\00:18:44.39
this I don't
hold this against you.
00:18:44.43\00:18:46.60
I have taken all of
your sins, onto myself,
00:18:46.64\00:18:49.44
so please don't
carry that yourself,
00:18:49.48\00:18:50.66
so you really have to reaffirm
that forgiveness for yourself?
00:18:50.69\00:18:54.13
David: absolutely!
00:18:54.16\00:18:55.19
Cheri: because I love when
you say, in a hotel I go back
00:18:55.22\00:18:56.77
to the word of God, and say,
00:18:56.80\00:18:57.83
it says right here
that I am forgiven,
00:18:57.86\00:18:59.54
ask and I will forgive you,
00:18:59.58\00:19:02.24
confess your sins to
Me and I will forgive you.
00:19:02.28\00:19:04.36
David: yes, we have
to feed on the word.
00:19:04.40\00:19:06.82
I feed on the word daily,
if not, I'm afraid I'll starve
00:19:06.86\00:19:10.96
to death, so I feed daily.
00:19:11.00\00:19:12.64
Cheri: I know John
that you had a question.
00:19:12.68\00:19:15.12
John: I do and thank
you for sharing with us.
00:19:15.16\00:19:18.36
What stuck out to me
is the ambulance ride and
00:19:18.39\00:19:21.52
specifically the experience
you had were you felt like,
00:19:21.55\00:19:25.43
Christ just came to you.
00:19:25.47\00:19:27.03
I relate to it because
my experience wasn't so much
00:19:27.07\00:19:30.61
that I woke up one day and
said, wow my life's a mess,
00:19:30.64\00:19:33.78
I think I need to get it
together and then it happened.
00:19:33.81\00:19:37.44
I felt like God gave me
a gift, is that the similar
00:19:37.48\00:19:40.64
experience that you had,
God came to you first and then
00:19:40.68\00:19:44.26
you decided, oh thank
you God, or was it different.
00:19:44.30\00:19:47.84
Am I misunderstanding?
00:19:47.88\00:19:48.95
David: it may be
a little different,
00:19:48.98\00:19:51.13
for example did
you want to quit?
00:19:51.16\00:19:53.24
John: I did but I
never really could get it,
00:19:53.28\00:19:56.31
and so I feel like God
handed it to me and said,
00:19:56.34\00:19:59.34
here is what I
want to offer you.
00:19:59.38\00:20:00.80
I pleaded with God and
said, I can't do this God,
00:20:00.84\00:20:03.14
I don't know what to
do, You have to help me,
00:20:03.17\00:20:06.02
and at that moment I
didn't really want to quit,
00:20:06.06\00:20:08.87
I didn't want to
keep going either.
00:20:08.91\00:20:10.82
I just wanted it to be over.
00:20:10.85\00:20:12.33
Cheri: you
wanted the pain to stop
00:20:12.37\00:20:13.79
John: yes and I feel
like God just did it for me
00:20:13.82\00:20:17.12
and once He did it,
it opened up the door and
00:20:17.15\00:20:20.40
I said okay now I can
do it because I know that
00:20:20.44\00:20:23.65
God is in it with me.
00:20:23.68\00:20:24.86
So I guess that is
what stuck out to me,
00:20:24.90\00:20:28.05
in the ambulance story.
00:20:28.08\00:20:29.17
David: well I wanted
to quit real bad and had
00:20:29.20\00:20:32.23
tried a number of
times and would always fail.
00:20:32.27\00:20:37.38
In that experience I
think that God did come in
00:20:37.41\00:20:42.47
and help me, but with
recovery it seems like our
00:20:42.50\00:20:47.53
recovery is all different.
00:20:47.56\00:20:50.30
Just like all of
us are different.
00:20:50.34\00:20:51.90
I have people say that God
came in and He took it away,
00:20:51.94\00:20:54.27
just like that
and all the desire.
00:20:54.30\00:20:55.79
Then you have other people
like me that wanted to quit,
00:20:55.82\00:20:58.87
and I had given my life
to God, but yet I still had
00:20:58.90\00:21:01.91
cravings for almost a year.
00:21:01.95\00:21:03.24
I didn't ever think I
was ever going to go back to
00:21:03.27\00:21:05.79
the drug, but I had
cravings and would get in my
00:21:05.83\00:21:08.31
bedroom and cry.
00:21:08.35\00:21:09.38
My wife and kids will
get around me and hug me,
00:21:09.41\00:21:11.78
and would start
praying in my ears,
00:21:11.81\00:21:13.03
and that always seem to help.
00:21:13.07\00:21:14.81
I would get into the
word but I still had cravings
00:21:14.85\00:21:17.32
for almost a year.
00:21:17.35\00:21:18.38
I have talked to
people who have been sober
00:21:18.41\00:21:20.08
a couple of years and
say, I still have a craving
00:21:20.12\00:21:22.40
every once in awhile.
00:21:22.43\00:21:23.46
So I think all of us
have different experiences
00:21:23.49\00:21:26.53
like some, it will
be gone just like that,
00:21:26.57\00:21:29.16
and have no
cravings, then there's others,
00:21:29.20\00:21:31.62
there is still
going to be a little bit
00:21:31.65\00:21:34.03
of a struggle there.
00:21:34.07\00:21:35.57
The faithful thing is
what I kept telling myself
00:21:35.60\00:21:39.44
over and over, is that
God will never put nothing on
00:21:39.47\00:21:42.77
me I can't handle, and He
will never allow nothing to
00:21:42.81\00:21:46.07
be put on me
that I can't handle.
00:21:46.11\00:21:47.65
I think that bad things,
any bad things comes from our
00:21:47.68\00:21:52.33
God because I think He is
good, and He's good all the
00:21:52.37\00:21:55.67
time, but sometimes things
are allowed to be put on us.
00:21:55.70\00:21:58.97
I believe it made me
a stronger person by not
00:21:59.01\00:22:01.61
taking it completely away.
00:22:01.64\00:22:03.02
But my experience
was similar to yours,
00:22:03.05\00:22:05.95
I wanted to quit
and the pain to go away.
00:22:05.98\00:22:08.85
I couldn't seem
to do it on my own.
00:22:08.88\00:22:10.90
Cheri: I heard you say,
not particularly on this
00:22:10.94\00:22:13.72
program, but another
time I heard you speak,
00:22:13.75\00:22:17.63
in the ambulance you
literally felt Christ
00:22:17.66\00:22:21.50
look at you and smile at you.
00:22:21.53\00:22:23.88
That has got to
be life-changing.
00:22:23.91\00:22:26.37
David: yeah that is
definitely a life-changing
00:22:26.40\00:22:31.03
experience for me.
00:22:31.07\00:22:33.25
Cheri: with
forgiveness in His eyes,
00:22:33.29\00:22:35.51
with all love in His eyes.
00:22:35.55\00:22:36.70
And you know even
John, what you're saying,
00:22:36.73\00:22:40.66
is just the fact that
it was a tremendous gift
00:22:40.69\00:22:44.59
to give an
addict that is afraid.
00:22:44.62\00:22:46.10
I don't know I'm
going to do this.
00:22:46.13\00:22:48.08
I don't even
have a face right now,
00:22:48.12\00:22:49.76
you know and all
that kind of stuff.
00:22:49.79\00:22:51.67
I know that God
is smiling at me.
00:22:51.71\00:22:53.38
David: I know that He loves me,
00:22:53.42\00:22:55.02
I didn't think that God
loved me up to that point.
00:22:55.05\00:22:57.52
I thought how could God love me,
00:22:57.56\00:23:00.02
how could anybody
love a guy like me,
00:23:00.05\00:23:02.48
as selfish and as mean as I was.
00:23:02.51\00:23:06.19
How could anybody love me,
00:23:06.22\00:23:07.98
but God loves us
right where were at.
00:23:08.01\00:23:09.63
You know what I
love is to tell people,
00:23:09.66\00:23:11.21
don't worry about
straightening yourself up.
00:23:11.25\00:23:14.02
I had a young
lady tell me one time,
00:23:14.06\00:23:16.64
she said one of these
days I'm going to straighten
00:23:16.67\00:23:18.49
myself up and I told her,
if people in the church are
00:23:18.52\00:23:21.90
telling you to straighten
yourself up and then come,
00:23:21.93\00:23:25.28
they are telling you
wrong because that is not
00:23:25.32\00:23:27.63
what our Bible tells us.
00:23:27.67\00:23:28.72
He said, to me come as you are.
00:23:28.76\00:23:30.38
I've washed you
clean you with My blood,
00:23:30.42\00:23:32.97
and that is how Jesus
loves us right where we are.
00:23:33.00\00:23:35.48
He doesn't love anyone
anymore than the other.
00:23:35.51\00:23:38.31
Cheri: you know we're
out of time, I hate that.
00:23:38.34\00:23:41.10
I just want to say
David thank you so much
00:23:41.14\00:23:44.10
for being on the program.
00:23:44.14\00:23:45.53
Thank you so much for allowing
God to work in your life.
00:23:45.57\00:23:49.67
And thank you so much
for giving your testimony,
00:23:49.71\00:23:52.68
going out and leaving
your family to share with us.
00:23:52.72\00:23:55.65
David: well
thanks for having me,
00:23:55.69\00:23:57.16
it is really my
honor to be here.
00:23:57.19\00:23:58.60
Cheri: incredible,
we are going to go ahead
00:23:58.63\00:24:01.38
and take a short
break, but stay with us.
00:24:01.42\00:24:04.13
I just always, I
have a crush on God.
00:24:04.17\00:24:07.37
I can't even help it.
00:24:07.41\00:24:08.44
I love Him, I love
what He does in our lives,
00:24:08.47\00:24:10.38
and I love recovery.
00:24:10.41\00:24:12.16
Stay with us
we'll be right back!
00:24:12.20\00:24:13.91