Welcome to
Celebrating Life In Recovery
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I'm Cheri your host.
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If you want to see recovery
looks like with skin on it,
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this is the program for you.
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You are going to be
blessed, come in and join us!
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Welcome back, you know
we are going to talk about
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something we talked
about in the first season.
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We were talking about
the stages of recovery.
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I love learning about
addiction, I love learning
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about what happens when
somebody finally decides they
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are going to step into
recovery, that they are going
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to stop using drugs.
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One of the reasons I
love so much is that when I
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first came in to recovery,
when I first met Christ,
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when I first
realized it was God that said,
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you know what Cheri, I
love you and I can help
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you walk through all this.
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When I first realized
that I'm like yeah Hoo,
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how fun is that?
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Everything in me was thrilled.
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I was loved for the
first time my life and
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somebody had plans for me.
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For the first time in my
life somebody was going to
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show me how to
live a healthy life.
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But I was told pretty
quickly that all you have
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to do is stop using
heroine, not by God, because
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God said all you
have to do is love Me and
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everything else will fall away.
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His whole recovery program
was different but all you have
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to do is stop using heroine,
so I stopped and I'm thinking,
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I am still like such a mess.
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I thought ok, well I'm still
lying, and sleeping around,
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and messing up, and I
manipulate, and I want to steal
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the money out of the
offering plate, and it was like
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there was
nothing right about that.
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So I'm going to go
through the stages recovery,
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for one for people who
need to know about that, for
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addicts, for other people
out there that somebody lied
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you, said all you
had to do is stop.
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If you just stop and
never do anything else, your
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life can be so incredibly
painful, that you will be
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using in a short period
of time just to deal with it.
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So recovery is more than
just stopping, and one of the
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books I adore is called,
Passages to Recovery, and the
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author says stopping sobriety,
abstinence and all that stuff,
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is just the
ticket into the movie.
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So if I stop, just like
the ticket into the movie,
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it's definitely not the
movie you're going to see,
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it's just the ticket
to get you in the door.
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Stopping your
addiction is just what gets
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you in the door.
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If you stop going
online and looking up porn,
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it is going to help you,
but it is not what you need
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as far as recovery,
there is a lot of character
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stuff that needs recovery.
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So we are going to
start with the first stage,
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the transition stage and
it's really called transition.
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I'm going to transaction from
my addiction whatever it is.
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Whether it is
stealing, workaholism, religious
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addictions, I think
that is a funny one,
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but they are out there.
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Religious addictions,
gambling, drugs, alcohol,
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and chemicals are
not the only addictions.
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I mean addictions
come in all kinds of
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eating disorders,
cutting so I going to
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transition from that
into recovery, right?
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But the first stage, I
step in, and I tell myself
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I am a prescription
drug abuser and I like pain
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medications, but instead of
taking ten because I'm going
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into recovery I'm
only going to take two.
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That's not recovery, it
is that first transition
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stage is saying that I
can kind of control it.
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If I am a gambler, I'm
only going to gamble on Fridays.
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right? I'm only going
to gamble once a month,
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so I have control.
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I'm not going to loose
the entire mortgage payment,
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I may lose some of
it, but not all of it.
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If I may have an eating
disorder, I'm only going to
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over-eat at dinner time,
I'm going to control some of it.
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So that transition stage,
that first page is saying that
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I have somehow
control, which is such a lie.
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It is such a lie, you have
no control over addictions.
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Addictions will grab you
every time, in every way.
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For a lot of us we don't believe
that, every time every way.
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The next stage is stabilization,
and I love that because
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just imagine that you are like
so, I can't even find balance
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and that is that stage.
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The next stage is an I'm
out of control, and I can't
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find balance, and I don't
know who I am, and I don't
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know what I'm doing, and
I can't control these drugs
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or the sexual
addiction, this eating disorder,
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this cutting I
can't control anything.
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And that is that stage
where you start to admit to
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yourself, and hopefully
somebody else, that I can't
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control this I
am out of control.
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And if you don't have
anyone to admit that to, for one
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admit it to God,
because He so knows.
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He knows you are not
fooling Him with anything,
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but if you have
somebody, a friend, a church.
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A church that you have
never even walked into, walk
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into it now and just tell
some one I am out of control
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and I need some help.
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So it is just being
enabled at the that point just
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stabilizing, just
realizing that there is nothing
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I can do to actually
deal with this addiction.
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The next part of recovery
is the early part of recovery.
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And in the early part
of recovery it's like this
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internal change.
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The internal change, let
me go back to stabilization
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because here is where a
lot of people miss the mark, is
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stabilization, not only am
I stabilizing some things in
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my life, not only am I
trying to find some balance, I
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may even drink
water rather than tequila.
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Shut up, what a concept!
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Do you know what I mean?
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When somebody tells me,
well I can't stomach water, I'm
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like you can down any kind
of alcohol on the planet, but
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don't give me water, because
you will acquire a taste for it.
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That it is like during that
time, during that time there
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is always a neuro chemical
stabilization that happens,
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that I have been tweaked,
my serotonin, melatonin my
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neuro chemistry is out of whack.
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I have pathways in my brain
that will lead me to places
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that are so awful that I
have to have my brain rewired.
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I hate to even say this
out loud, for non-addicts it
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just kills them to hear
this, especially family members,
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especially somebody's mom.
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It usually takes from 8
to 18 months to stabilize
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neuro chemically, to
get your mind back, to get
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out of that kind of
chemical fog, because we
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have tweaked everything.
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The reason I want to say
that out loud is somebody
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around you, the
people around you, the church
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around us wants us to
step in, come up to the altar
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accept Christ and then be good.
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I want too but it
doesn't happen and you know we
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can be better, we can
have our hearts changed, we can
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desire this more than
anything, but there is a time
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factor in recovery.
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There is that internal
stuff that literally starts
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changing, and you know
I've seen God do miracles in
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somebody has just
got poof right away.
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I want to kick that
person, no I'm sorry,
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but it doesn't happen,
that doesn't happen every time.
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For most of us, God allows
us in His mercy to walk out
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of recovery and I think
that is so we can get spiritual
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legs underneath us, and
we can love on somebody that
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has to walk out their recovery.
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Because we have
some empathy for them.
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So that stabilization
period, there is more to it
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than just a behavioral
stabilization, we are getting
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our body back, we are
getting our liver back,
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We're getting our spleen back,
our arteries and everything are
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clogged up, we haven't been
eating right, thinking right,
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drinking water, we
haven't done any of that.
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During that stage
hopefully you have somebody that
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is really good around you,
mentoring you, they are going
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to tell you take care to
yourself during this stage.
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Eat and Apple, well you
know I don't like apples,
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Krispy Kremes, eat an Apple!
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you know what I
mean and this is like,
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so that stage is just like that.
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The next stage is
mental recovery and this is
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external change,
this is the recovery that
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everybody on the
planet is waiting for.
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Where we walk up to
somebody and say you know,
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I'm sorry for stealing
your car, you know what I mean?
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It's that stage and it
may not be stealing your car,
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I'm sorry for having an
affair, I'm sorry for the way
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I have been manipulated and
lied to you your whole life.
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I'm sorry from stealing
from you, I'm sorry I blamed
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you my whole life, that I
always thought we your fault.
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And I'm sorry for that,
it's a stage where in a recovery
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program they
call it making amends.
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It's that place where you
come up in just realize that,
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man I think it was me.
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It is such a healthy
place to be, and it doesn't
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feel good at first.
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I mean for an addict when
we get to a stage where we
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realize it might have
been me, we want to use.
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I want to do something to
make that pain go away when
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I realize that every
single thing I put on you,
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I think it was
me and I'm so sorry.
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That external thing is
where I'm going to start
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coming out, and I'm
going to start on the outside
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trying to make it right.
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On the outside
trying, where I can, and don't
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do it everywhere.
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If it is going to hurt
somebody for you to make it
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right, if you have, I
met somebody that stabbed and
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raped a woman and in
their amends they wanted to go
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back and deal with this
person's family, don't do that,
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Because you know they have
struggled, and been in pain
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and have dealt with this
their whole life and it may not
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be appropriate
for you to do that.
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If the Holy Spirit leads
you in that way go in that
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direction, but if He
doesn't, don't do that, just
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make amends where you
can and leave it with God in
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places where you can't.
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But it is really a
place to look at the external
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relationships, it's a place
to also even developed some
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of that, it is so fun to
be able to say, you know what
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I'm sorry and I love you.
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I love you and you are
saying that not only to your
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spouse's you are saying
that to your mom, your dad,
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your sisters, your friends,
the person at the corner
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store that you use
to rip off every week,
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you are saying that to them.
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You are kind of going
around and doing that and
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somebody says why
do I have to do that?
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Because it is good for
you, it's good for them too,
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and I don't want
to discount that part.
00:11:08.75\00:11:10.22
It is good for them for
somebody to all the sudden
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hear you say and acknowledge
the fact that you know it
00:11:13.28\00:11:16.24
wasn't okay, but it is
good for you to say it.
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And when somebody responds
to you, you get to feel that
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gratitude, it is good for
you to learn to receive that.
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I mean there is something
I think that God puts in our
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recovery process that
as we do it you can feel,
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this is what health feels like.
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All of a sudden you look
at somebody that you have
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apologized to, that you
are, I don't have to prove
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myself to you and that
rebellion comes up and I say
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do I have to
prove myself to them?
00:11:47.07\00:11:48.34
Not really but you
really have to kind of show them
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that you are trustworthy
now, and as you do that the
00:11:51.95\00:11:55.13
respect comes to you
there is something that happens
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to us when we learn
how to receive respect,
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or receive love.
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A friend of mine had a
prison, Maranatha Prisons
00:12:02.82\00:12:06.17
in California, his
name is Terry Morlan.
00:12:06.21\00:12:07.84
Terry if you're out
there you know I love you.
00:12:07.88\00:12:09.49
But he had this prison
in California and one of the
00:12:09.53\00:12:12.20
first things he did,
because he's a Christian Guy
00:12:12.24\00:12:15.36
an incredible guy, is
he put the persons name,
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every inmate had
their name on there.
00:12:18.52\00:12:20.80
If the guard didn't call
them Mr. Smith, Mr. Rodriguez,
00:12:20.84\00:12:26.24
Mr. whatever, if the
guard called them inmates,
00:12:26.27\00:12:28.93
they would be fired.
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This is a human being
call them by their name.
00:12:30.11\00:12:33.97
It was, the theory was if
I can teach you to receive
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respect, and you feel
what that feels like, you will
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long to give it.
00:12:41.74\00:12:42.77
It is not that I am going
to demand respect from you
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because you don't know
how to do that, I am going to
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teach you to receive it.
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So that is that stage and it
is really an incredible stage.
00:12:48.59\00:12:52.82
Late recovery, I love this
and at this point in recovery
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I want to kiss God on the face.
00:12:57.10\00:12:58.58
I wanted to say, you
know what, how cool are You?
00:12:58.62\00:13:01.42
Because you know what at
first I thought recovery was
00:13:01.45\00:13:04.22
that I just get to walk
away from all this junk.
00:13:04.25\00:13:07.37
I get to be free from
the bondage of lying, and
00:13:07.41\00:13:10.45
manipulating, and depression,
and generational junk that
00:13:10.49\00:13:13.76
has just been thrown at my
family, I am free from that.
00:13:13.79\00:13:17.03
I'm thinking whew,
thanks, but that is not it.
00:13:17.06\00:13:21.21
Late recovery God is
going to show you who you are.
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What life is about, how to
laugh out loud, how to feel
00:13:24.95\00:13:28.67
good your own skin, and I'm
thinking are you kidding me?
00:13:28.71\00:13:32.39
Are you kidding me I
took piano lessons and drawing
00:13:32.43\00:13:35.84
lessons, I'm getting
in a kayak this year.
00:13:35.88\00:13:38.16
I'm learning how to
play golf, I learned how to
00:13:38.20\00:13:42.07
actually be present
with my husband and be in a
00:13:42.11\00:13:45.95
relationship that is amazing.
00:13:45.98\00:13:47.64
I have gotten to be
married 20 years and I know
00:13:47.67\00:13:49.96
what it feels like to
be a healthy woman of God,
00:13:50.00\00:13:52.25
in love and enjoying life.
00:13:52.29\00:13:54.78
I wouldn't trade
my life or anything,
00:13:54.82\00:13:56.25
but this is late recovery.
00:13:56.29\00:13:57.70
This is the recovery
process where God just gets to
00:13:57.74\00:14:00.42
show you what happens
if you were never damaged.
00:14:00.45\00:14:03.76
What happens if you
never got involved in the
00:14:03.80\00:14:07.54
addictions, the
dysfunctions in early childhood,
00:14:07.57\00:14:11.28
what happens if that
was all gone for you.
00:14:11.32\00:14:13.74
What is really fun is that
it is amazing, if you haven't
00:14:13.77\00:14:16.56
got there yet ask the
Holy Spirit, take me there.
00:14:16.59\00:14:20.67
And if you still have
work to do, if you still have
00:14:20.70\00:14:24.23
stuff to do in your recovery,
spend ten minutes a day
00:14:24.26\00:14:28.49
on that and the rest of
the time learning who you are,
00:14:28.52\00:14:32.21
because you know we spend
all the time learning about
00:14:32.24\00:14:35.43
our addictions, looking at
our junk, looking at molest,
00:14:35.47\00:14:38.45
and I think all of heaven
just says, I can't wait till
00:14:38.48\00:14:41.42
we are done with this.
00:14:41.46\00:14:42.87
At least a little bit
done what this because you know
00:14:42.90\00:14:45.44
what you had have
the best laugh ever.
00:14:45.47\00:14:47.83
I love the way you
think about things.
00:14:47.86\00:14:50.05
I love the
talents I've given you.
00:14:50.09\00:14:52.20
I love who you are and I
want to show you some of that
00:14:52.24\00:14:54.81
because you don't know.
00:14:54.85\00:14:55.89
So that is that part,
maintenance is I am learning to
00:14:55.92\00:14:59.58
balance life, I am learning
to live life day and day
00:14:59.61\00:15:02.94
without addictions,
without all that kind of stuff.
00:15:02.98\00:15:05.80
I'm laughing out loud,
I'm learning what I'm good at,
00:15:05.83\00:15:09.28
I'm also edifying and
lifting people up around me,
00:15:09.31\00:15:12.73
because I want them
to know what they're good
00:15:12.76\00:15:14.26
at and about life.
00:15:14.29\00:15:15.43
If I have people who
are addicts in my life,
00:15:15.47\00:15:17.96
my heart breaks for them.
00:15:17.99\00:15:20.00
I used to want to use,
I see someone smoking a
00:15:20.03\00:15:23.17
cigarette and I would
think oh man I just wish they
00:15:23.20\00:15:25.31
give me one of those, but
now I want to save their lungs,
00:15:25.35\00:15:29.55
to actually say you can do
some things with those lungs
00:15:29.58\00:15:33.75
that are fun.
00:15:33.78\00:15:35.14
Or you can
trash them either way.
00:15:35.17\00:15:37.77
But it's like you get
to a point where you your
00:15:37.81\00:15:39.59
maintain all that.
00:15:39.63\00:15:40.84
I want to introduce you to
some acquaintance, I want to
00:15:40.88\00:15:44.67
call them friends because
I see the Holy Spirit in them
00:15:44.71\00:15:48.00
and God in them, but I want
to introduce you to a friend
00:15:48.03\00:15:51.56
of mine that you will kind
of see in his life, you will
00:15:51.59\00:15:55.08
see you will see
this whole process.
00:15:55.11\00:15:58.31
We're not going to stop
and go over the stages, we are
00:15:58.35\00:16:00.72
not go look at all that
kind of stuff but you'll see
00:16:00.75\00:16:03.63
the process of recovery
in his story and you will see
00:16:03.66\00:16:06.51
how God has just loved on him.
00:16:06.54\00:16:08.24
So stay with us because
you are going to be blessed,
00:16:08.28\00:16:10.84
Blessed I'm telling you.
00:16:10.88\00:16:12.99