Participants: Cheri Peters (Host), Charley Romani, Sarai Romani
Series Code: CLR
Program Code: CLR000048B
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00:13 One of my favorite scriptures, that's funny because
00:15 I say that about all of them, I think they all are my 00:17 favorites, but in 2 Corinthians 5:17 it says something 00:21 like therefore anyone in Christ Jesus, anyone with a 00:26 relationship, anyone who has called out in the name 00:29 of Jesus to come and just please help me. 00:32 We are a new creature and I think the old is passed, 00:36 the new has come. 00:37 God comes in and just changes so many different things, 00:42 and it even goes on to say that we are 00:43 ambassadors in Christ. 00:44 As if we were pleading with people like us to reconcile 00:48 themselves back to God. 00:50 I'm thinking when I first got into recovery, how 00:52 amazingly cool is that He can take somebody like myself, 00:56 Sarai, I like you and your situation, and you call out 00:59 and He is like, you know what I have been so waiting 01:02 for you to call out because I love you and I want to 01:04 pour everything into you. 01:05 So I want you to continue what you are saying. 01:08 We are going to talk about recovery. 01:09 How did God come in and just turn all that around? 01:13 Well you know what, the first thing my sister said 01:16 to me after I gave my life over to the Lord was, 01:18 Sis you don't get cleaned up take a bath. 01:22 Cheri: Amen, Amen, you know you read one of the same 01:24 books that I read, Redeeming Love, by Francine Rivers. 01:27 Oh my favorite book. 01:29 But in that book is this prostitute that goes in and 01:33 tries to clean herself and literally pulls up the rocks 01:36 from the riverbed and washes her skin to where she's 01:39 bleeding because she can't get clean enough. 01:41 For most of us when we come to Christ, like you said, 01:43 it's like how do I get clean enough - right! 01:46 So I didn't get clean enough and I wasn't going to try, 01:48 I was a prostitute, that's what I did. 01:50 So I went back to the brothel - you got discouraged 01:53 and went back? 01:55 I didn't get discouraged that's just what I was. 01:56 I was a prostitute is so after I left, my week was 02:00 over I went back to the brothel. 02:03 I had just picked up the Bible, I didn't know anything. 02:06 I just knew that Jesus was now, I believed that He loved 02:10 me, I believe that there was a God and His name was 02:14 Jesus and that He loved me. 02:16 That is the first time that I ever felt loved, 02:18 other than that messed up love I had from my mom. 02:21 So that is my starting point, alright? 02:24 I went back to the brothel and I had bought a Bible. 02:28 I have bought an Amplified Bible - not even 02:30 understanding that somebody may think that this is odd. 02:33 Sarai: no - I love that, I guess I love that image 02:36 - it's like my repentance was not just, I guess I didn't 02:40 see, I saw myself as the victim. 02:42 It was the first time I had any inkling that maybe I was 02:47 part of the perpetrator, is when I became a Christian. 02:50 So you have to understand I didn't see myself that way. 02:53 This was just what I have become, what choice did I have? 02:58 I had my husband's approval to be a prostitute, 03:01 he was more than happy about it. 03:02 If things were going to change it was going 03:06 to have to be God. 03:07 I had my Amplified Bible, I went back to the brothel 03:10 for two, three days straight I read my Bible. 03:14 I mean I can just tell you the Holy Spirit led me. 03:17 I didn't get picked and I was the highest picked call 03:21 girl, me and one other gal. 03:23 The two hottest picked girls and for 3 days I 03:27 didn't get picked, I just read my Bible and the girls 03:29 would say, why are you bringing that Bible in here? 03:31 Don't you know that's offensive to us, Gee from what 03:33 I'm reading we're the ones offensive to God, 03:35 what are you talking about? 03:36 It says right here - but I'm sitting there with 03:40 my joint, my booze, you know I'm doing my thing but 03:44 reading the word of God and God was really 03:46 getting through to me. 03:47 By the end of that 3rd day I didn't want to do this anymore. 03:52 I was like whoa, wait a minute this is a choice, 03:55 I have a choice. 03:57 God started pulling back the curtains, pulling off 04:00 the garb that was over my eyes and my heart that just 04:05 I had not seen at all. 04:06 So that is really where the healing began. 04:09 I finally got picked about a week later and it was a man, 04:15 I took him back and I was praying the whole time. 04:18 What am I going to do, what am I and going to do? 04:19 It was like I don't want to do this. 04:21 Cheri: this is not who I am anymore - it's not who 04:24 I am, exactly, but I negotiated, went through the 04:28 negotiations did the whole thing and everything and 04:31 I'm thinking I can't do this, but when is it going to 04:34 come that I will have the guts to say I can't do this? 04:36 We did all the way to the hot tub and the man asked me, 04:40 so what is your story? 04:42 You know they do that when they are nervous. 04:44 It was like okay I'm going to give him the truth, 04:47 I'm going to tell him my story. 04:48 Cheri: no way - I told him I just become a Christian 04:50 and all of this stuff and it turns out he was a 04:53 backslidden pastor - how funny is that? 04:58 He starts quoting the Psalms that says, where can I 05:01 hide from God, I don't know from some Psalms or where 05:05 it is but however if you could go to the depths of Hell 05:07 and I'll still be there, I'll go anywhere, and he goes, 05:10 this is unbelievable. 05:11 This is unbelievable and he goes, you need to leave, 05:14 you need to leave this place. 05:15 Cheri: did you turn around and say can you come with me? 05:18 No, I didn't, I said would you pray with me? 05:21 And there we were on the floor in my room and we were 05:24 praying and he left without a word and paid the money. 05:27 Nothing, I mean nothing happened. 05:28 But he goes, God has an incredible plan for your life. 05:32 He left and later that night this man comes in. 05:36 He was bald from head to toe, had tattoos and 05:39 I'm telling you to me he represented Satan himself. 05:41 I got picked and I said I can't do this and I went 05:45 to my boss, and said I can't do this. 05:47 This is it, and the Lord said it's now or never! 05:50 What are you going to do? 05:52 The guy says that you will never work here again, I will 05:54 call your husband and make sure he kills you. 05:55 You know typical because they don't want you to leave 05:58 the business and making money for them. 06:00 It was like, you know what I don't care! 06:03 If my life is in Christ I don't care, kill me I'm ready. 06:06 I walked out the door and I was done. 06:10 I went back to my sisters, and you have to understand 06:16 everybody please bear with me. 06:18 I can't give chronological perfect memory of everything, 06:24 I can give what I remember because it is so chopped up 06:27 and so scattered so I may fill in the blanks but its not, 06:30 there is no exaggeration on purpose. 06:32 I know that I went to live with my sister. 06:36 She found me a small little duplex and I waitress at Denny's 06:39 Started go to church at 6 AM and was at the church whenever 06:43 the doors were open, if I wasn't at work. 06:45 I was so in love with God, I was so on fire, 06:48 I was walking on air. 06:50 I am so in love with Him and I was so, you know 06:56 there are people that have incredible life because 06:59 their parents love them, they are raised in a good 07:01 Christian family, I wouldn't trade what I went 07:04 through for anything, because most of them don't 07:06 know Jesus like I know Jesus. 07:08 You know it reminds me of Magdalene saying 07:11 the same thing, as she followed Christ the rest of her 07:13 life, because it was so huge what He had given her, 07:16 and that is what I am hearing from you. 07:18 It is so huge, it is so big that He gave you everything, 07:21 not only your life, because you never had a life. 07:23 He said I'm going to start all over - He loved me. 07:26 He gave me an identity, that's something I have never 07:28 had was an identity. 07:30 It wasn't because I had cried out to Him really. 07:33 It really wasn't because of anything I did, 07:35 I didn't go searching for Him, I didn't go 07:37 looking for Him, in my opinion. 07:39 He did it all for me, He set it up to save me. 07:43 He gave me a life and you would think I would be really 07:48 grateful and never sin again, but that didn't happen. 07:50 I ended up meeting a guy who was just incredible. 07:53 Fell in love with him, but I ended up falling with him 08:00 in a way because of the disorders that I had and I 08:04 didn't want to go there, but I turned him away and 08:07 said you know what. 08:08 I felt like I had committed spiritual suicide, 08:11 because I blew it, I'd sinned - sexually active 08:14 and all that kind of stuff so - just once! 08:16 And I said I love you with all my heart but I love 08:18 Jesus more and I am out of here, I can't do this. 08:20 I turned him away and that was after leading him to 08:23 the Lord and him seeing how she was in love with Jesus, 08:26 and she showed me Jesus and a whole new way, but I knew 08:28 that there was something really messed up with me. 08:31 I was still disassociating, I was still playing catch 08:34 up and I couldn't deal with stuff. 08:35 I fell with him and say you know what I need Jesus. 08:38 Long story short, he ended up crying over me and 08:43 wasn't able to see the road when he was driving and 08:46 rolled his car and was decapitated and died. 08:49 His friend was thrown from the car and survived enough 08:55 to tell me that the reason he is dead, is because he 08:57 was crying over you and I lost it at that point. 09:02 I went in to what is called a catatonic state, it is 09:05 when you completely shut down, for those people who do 09:08 not know, you are still there but you are completely 09:12 nonresponsive to any stimuli whatsoever. 09:14 Cheri: even to the point, because I worked in Psych and 09:16 you can take somebody that is catatonic and move their 09:19 arm in their arm will stay there for hours. 09:21 I don't know I don't remember being in that state - 09:24 it's like this plastic, you are looking at a mannequin almost. 09:29 I was like that for months and was taken to a Christian 09:32 psychiatric hospital in that state, it was the final 09:37 thing after the death of my mom and going through that, 09:40 her suicide and then now David's death. 09:43 It was what set me over the edge. 09:45 When I did finally come to, I had been apparently 09:50 speaking and my therapist who was assigned to me was 09:54 tape recording everything that was being said. 09:57 They realized that I had multiple personality disorder 10:01 by the different voices, and the different identities 10:04 that were coming out were being spoken unconsciously. 10:06 That is how I got confronted with the fact that I had 10:10 it dissociative identity disorder, that I was multiple 10:13 personality - can I ask you where did you meet Charlie? 10:16 Where did he come in? 10:17 At the Christian psychiatric hospital that I was in. 10:19 As an employee or as a patient? 10:24 I was in there is a patient myself - ah man! 10:27 So she came in with multiple and you were in... 10:30 I was in for major depression - okay ouch. 10:34 I was a retired Los Angeles police officer and faced a 10:39 lot of trauma down there and then all lot of abandonment 10:41 rejection issues of my own. 10:43 I was in there for help, because I was suicidal 10:47 myself and then I met her in there. 10:50 I saw a lot of awful people on the streets of Los 10:53 Angeles, but I've never seen anybody as wounded and 10:56 messed up as she was. 10:57 I felt like God put on my heart pray for her, 11:02 and I started praying for her. 11:03 and then He said I want you to love her. 11:04 I said love her, you have to be kidding all I know is 11:09 how to be hurt or hurt other people. 11:11 He said I want you to love her, and I said if you want 11:13 me to love her then your going to have to teach me 11:14 how to love her. 11:15 I then also I saw that she was so wounded and so 11:18 devastated, and I had been a Christian for several years 11:19 and in some form of Ministry as well, and I say God You 11:23 blew this one and I'm pushing You away I'm her messiah now 11:26 and I'm going to rescue her and help her. 11:27 That wasn't the best way to get started, but in spite 11:30 of that she thought I was a self-righteous cop. 11:33 - well he was, he was really arrogant, and he was Mr. 11:36 lay pastor and all that and everything, and the rest 11:39 of us are just really messed up, broken, wounded people, 11:41 and he acts like I'm just in here for some depression 11:44 and would keep to himself. 11:46 I'm going to be your messiah you messed up Jesus I'm 11:48 going to fix her now and I thought he was arrogant. 11:50 I saw how broken he really was. 11:53 We used to joke because I thought he was a self- 11:57 righteous pig and he thought I was a demon possessed 11:59 woman and we were both right. 12:01 And God said I want you guys to love each other, it was 12:05 like what we don't want to not only did we not like each 12:08 other, we did not love each other or nothing. 12:10 I was a rescuer anyway, so I went right into the rescue 12:14 mode and stopped working my own self. 12:17 So you're depression could lift - sure - so you could 12:18 fix yourself - sure, taking care of someone else again. 12:20 But I did think Lord if you could take two people as 12:24 wounded and messed up as the two of us are and 12:26 heal us and mold us and put us back together, 12:29 then at some point we could be a real light for You, 12:33 a witness and a testimony. 12:34 And I know I'm jumping ahead here but that is really 12:36 what He has done. 12:37 He has taken two crushed, and devastated, broken lives, 12:40 that met in a Christian psychiatric hospital, 12:42 put us together, and we have four beautiful boys now 12:45 and are involved in the full-time lay ministry. 12:47 Only God can do that, only God can look at both of 12:52 you and say, you know what is wounded as you are, 12:54 I have a plan in the plan may seem ridiculous to the 12:58 entire planet, but I am going to step in and bring 13:02 some healing into your life. 13:04 And He did, He use Charlie to bring me the demonic 13:05 deliverance that I needed because we went to 13:07 mega-church after mega-church seeking demonic 13:10 deliverance for me because we knew I was possessed. 13:12 We knew I had issues and God does that slowly, 13:15 I was presented with all kinds of issues, 13:17 from cutting to alcoholism still, the drugs, 13:21 all of these different things, the disassociation. 13:25 I had the religious side they got saved, but I had 13:30 all this other junk that needed to be healed too. 13:32 I want to say that, if I can, for anybody that is out 13:35 there that has been through any kind of my background, 13:38 that has disassociative disorders and wants to come to 13:43 the Lord and wants to get healed to realize that God 13:46 heals slaying one dragon at a time. 13:48 He does not take the whole ball of wax and fix it all 13:50 at once it is slowly. 13:52 You have to go through demonic deliverance for the 13:55 nightmares, you have to go through deliverance or 13:58 healing, learning to have tools - the Christian word that most 14:01 people will not know, what is deliverance, 14:04 what do you mean by that? 14:06 The avenues that you have opened up, the Bible says 14:08 is sin, if the Bible says it's sin and you have opened 14:11 up that door and willingly gone into it, you need to 14:13 say Satan I'm serving you warning right now. 14:16 I believe what God says, He is truth, this is what is 14:18 righteous to do and I want to live His way and I refuse 14:22 to walk in this anymore in my life and any entrance I 14:25 gave you I'm telling you I'm done. 14:27 Get out of my life in Jesus name and then you plead 14:30 the blood of Jesus and what He did for you, 14:32 and you know what the demons have to go. 14:34 What is really interesting to me is I didn't even 14:37 realize that as being able to say that what Satan 14:41 meant for harm, or even my mom's rejection, 14:43 I will just want God to put His blood on that 14:45 and claim that back in Jesus name. 14:47 And literally say it out loud so that you just know 14:50 this is a done deal. 14:51 One thing at a time, one issue at a time as it 14:53 comes up God will heal you. 14:55 He will be faithful, He is the One who called you 14:57 to begin with - He will even show you the issue. 14:59 He will even show you how to do it. 15:00 It has been 18 years, it's been a rough 18 years, 15:03 but we have always seen God taking us one step further 15:07 healing and healing so it is always kept us motivated 15:09 to keep going on and forward for 18 years now. 15:12 We are more in love all the time and more caring and 15:15 compassionate and the character and nature of God is 15:17 developing in the two of us. 15:19 And now where are we - well now we are in the 15:21 full-time Ministry, real life television affiliate 15:25 - just 3ABN affiliate in the United States and 15:28 we get to be on TV. 15:30 We get to do this, we get to do shows so this 15:34 is where God takes you. 15:35 Cheri: I have been blessed because I have seen this like 15:39 what you have presented it is all this kind of darkness, and 15:42 someday I would like to hear your story Charlie too. 15:45 Because I know that God has really blessed you in your 15:48 own recovery and your recovery together, but I have 15:50 been blessed by having you on the program and I want 15:52 to say thank you for sharing that. 15:54 Thank you for trusting God and I want to say God, 15:57 thank you for blessing this couple and I pray that 15:59 He continues to do that. 16:01 For anybody liked Sarai was saying, if you are out 16:05 there and wondering how you do that, is ask God what 16:08 are we working on today, and don't make it too big. 16:11 What is today, what is it all about, what am I looking 16:13 at this moment, and come back because we are going to 16:18 talk a little bit about that before we end the program 16:19 so see you in a few seconds. |
Revised 2014-12-17