Welcome to Celebrating Life in Recovery! 00:00:10.17\00:00:11.55 I'm Cheri your host. 00:00:11.58\00:00:12.61 Have you ever felt like what you have done in your past, 00:00:12.64\00:00:15.03 what you have done in your life, that you don't even 00:00:15.07\00:00:17.45 want to bring up to God? 00:00:17.48\00:00:18.56 You know that nobody is going to accept that, 00:00:18.59\00:00:20.04 not even God Himself. 00:00:20.07\00:00:21.42 You are going to be blessed by this program because 00:00:21.45\00:00:24.17 God can heal anything, come join us! 00:00:24.21\00:00:26.76 Welcome back! 00:00:53.07\00:00:54.10 You know my first journey with God just cracked me up, 00:00:54.13\00:00:56.84 I was such a mess and I'm coming out of all that. 00:00:56.87\00:01:01.30 I'm trying to figure out how to do the right things, 00:01:01.33\00:01:04.60 say the right thing, be the right thing and I couldn't. 00:01:04.64\00:01:07.88 I just didn't get it and God was really gentle. 00:01:07.91\00:01:11.98 He would teach me, like when I was manipulating 00:01:12.01\00:01:16.01 somebody, or lying about something, and He would say, 00:01:16.05\00:01:18.36 you know what hon, how about don't lie. 00:01:18.40\00:01:22.36 I would think, oh come on! 00:01:22.39\00:01:24.19 I'm not really lying, I'm just trying to get 00:01:24.23\00:01:27.22 them to do this. 00:01:27.25\00:01:28.31 He says, that is manipulating, 00:01:28.35\00:01:29.92 how about not manipulating them? 00:01:29.96\00:01:31.50 I'm like what? 00:01:31.54\00:01:33.56 I couldn't get it, so somebody led me to the Bible which 00:01:33.59\00:01:39.40 is a good place to be led to. 00:01:39.43\00:01:40.99 It is really funny for somebody that is a mess, we don't 00:01:41.02\00:01:45.23 even know how to hold the Bible right. 00:01:45.26\00:01:46.66 If you are out there watching this, then you understand 00:01:46.70\00:01:49.30 this, it's like holding the Bible and you think this is 00:01:49.34\00:01:51.91 way too holy, do you know what I mean? 00:01:51.94\00:01:54.21 I'm way too much of a mess, so you hold it carefully. 00:01:54.25\00:01:57.02 I had a friend and I love this, this friend used to 00:01:57.06\00:01:59.70 smoke weed all the time and somebody talked him into 00:01:59.73\00:02:02.34 opening the Bible. 00:02:02.37\00:02:03.40 So he is opening up the Bible and doing this Bible 00:02:03.43\00:02:06.72 study, and he is smoking and says, "Man this is good 00:02:06.75\00:02:09.69 stuff", when all of a sudden and ash from the joint 00:02:09.72\00:02:12.63 fell and hit the Bible and burned the page. 00:02:12.66\00:02:15.53 When a book is holy He was like, 00:02:15.56\00:02:18.13 "oh! I can't believe I did that. " 00:02:18.17\00:02:20.70 I said what did you do? 00:02:20.74\00:02:22.09 He said, "well I switched to a pipe right away. " 00:02:22.13\00:02:24.13 And you know what is funny I don't want to sound like 00:02:24.16\00:02:28.91 I am somehow putting down the process, but God starts 00:02:28.95\00:02:33.66 us out when we don't even know anything. 00:02:33.69\00:02:35.58 We are not smart enough to even know that you shouldn't 00:02:35.62\00:02:38.95 do a line of Meth and study the Bible, or smoke weed 00:02:38.98\00:02:42.27 and study the Bible. 00:02:42.31\00:02:43.34 God says, you know what? open the book where-ever 00:02:43.38\00:02:46.04 you're at, what ever place you are at where you can 00:02:46.08\00:02:48.71 finally start looking at what is right. 00:02:48.74\00:02:50.50 What is not right, what is going to bring you 00:02:50.53\00:02:52.34 out of all this stuff, just open the book. 00:02:52.38\00:02:54.11 That is where I was at, so I opened the book and I'm 00:02:54.15\00:02:57.57 thinking I will go right to the Ten Commandments. 00:02:57.60\00:03:00.98 Because that is where God took me. 00:03:01.02\00:03:03.26 I'm thinking how funny is that! 00:03:03.29\00:03:05.46 Because the Ten Commandments for people who are coming 00:03:05.50\00:03:10.44 out of addiction, we just do not like authority. 00:03:10.48\00:03:13.27 I don't want somebody to tell me what to do. 00:03:13.30\00:03:16.02 God says I am not really trying to tell you what to do, 00:03:16.05\00:03:18.55 I'm trying to show you how to get victory in your life. 00:03:18.59\00:03:21.35 I just want you to stay with Me on this, because I have 00:03:21.39\00:03:24.40 a crush on God right now and I have been say that a lot 00:03:24.44\00:03:27.39 lately, but I just love the way He says, you are in 00:03:27.43\00:03:30.35 bondage to all your junk. 00:03:30.38\00:03:32.46 You are in bondage to your lies and your drugs and 00:03:32.49\00:03:35.38 addictions and you don't even know that it is twisting 00:03:35.42\00:03:38.27 around your throat. 00:03:38.30\00:03:39.56 We don't even know that until we are not breathing, 00:03:39.59\00:03:41.76 you know what I mean it is taken us down and we are 00:03:41.80\00:03:43.91 actually defining death from it and God is saying, 00:03:43.94\00:03:46.02 He wants to get that all untwisted for you. 00:03:46.05\00:03:48.77 For the first Commandment is what you guys? 00:03:48.80\00:03:51.49 Yeah, I'm the Lord your God, right? 00:03:51.52\00:03:57.77 The first one starts out I am the Lord your God who 00:03:57.80\00:03:59.94 took you out of all that stuff. 00:03:59.98\00:04:02.80 Out of heroine addiction, and sexual addiction, and 00:04:02.84\00:04:05.82 relationship addiction and all that kind of junk. 00:04:05.85\00:04:08.80 I took you out of all that stuff. 00:04:08.83\00:04:10.41 I'm the Lord your God so you know what, 00:04:10.44\00:04:12.62 don't put any other gods before Me. 00:04:12.66\00:04:14.77 I was so in love with God because He, I meet Him in 00:04:14.80\00:04:18.32 a drug house trying to kill myself, teeth missing, 00:04:18.36\00:04:21.85 illiterate and just a mess. 00:04:21.88\00:04:23.69 He put His hand on me and said, 00:04:23.72\00:04:26.02 "I love you and I will keep you safe. " 00:04:26.05\00:04:28.11 I felt that with everything in me so I thought okay 00:04:28.14\00:04:30.98 that's good, I can do that one. 00:04:31.02\00:04:33.98 The second one was not to bad either, 00:04:34.01\00:04:36.34 the second one is what? 00:04:36.37\00:04:37.40 Don't have any graven images. 00:04:37.43\00:04:39.71 Don't have any graven images and I'm thinking, 00:04:39.74\00:04:42.36 you know what I don't even have any as I'm looking 00:04:42.39\00:04:44.64 around my house, I'm thinking there's no little idols 00:04:44.67\00:04:46.89 set up, there's no Buddha's or whatever. 00:04:46.92\00:04:49.34 I don't have any of that kind of stuff so I'm okay 00:04:49.37\00:04:51.35 with that and the Holy Spirit says, 00:04:51.39\00:04:52.99 well images can be anything. 00:04:53.02\00:04:55.17 And I'm, what? 00:04:55.21\00:04:57.10 Anything and then through the Holy Spirit I saw them 00:04:57.14\00:05:00.86 everywhere, I did have some stuff to work on that one. 00:05:00.90\00:05:04.89 The third one was don't say the Lord's name in vain. 00:05:04.92\00:05:09.11 Don't lightly, and I know everybody knows what I'm 00:05:09.15\00:05:12.28 talking about when I said that so I don't have to 00:05:12.31\00:05:14.53 repeat it, in fact I would probably get fired if 00:05:14.56\00:05:16.74 I gave you some examples. 00:05:16.78\00:05:18.16 Don't say the Lord's name in vain, don't use God and 00:05:18.19\00:05:22.56 Christ to joke about. 00:05:22.59\00:05:24.08 I did that every other sentence and not even realizing 00:05:24.12\00:05:29.84 it, I would just like oh, and thinking ouch, was that one? 00:05:29.88\00:05:34.77 I've would feel like all the angels would say yes that 00:05:34.80\00:05:39.66 was one, but it was so gentle. 00:05:39.69\00:05:42.49 The fourth Commandment is the Sabbath day. 00:05:42.52\00:05:45.06 That was a cool one for me because it said every week, 00:05:45.09\00:05:48.25 put a day aside, and just hang out with Me. 00:05:48.28\00:05:52.05 I am very relational and didn't have a lot of that 00:05:52.08\00:05:55.01 growing up, so for me, for God to say I want to 00:05:55.05\00:05:57.66 hang out with you, I thought how cool are You. 00:05:57.70\00:06:00.25 I thought how are we going to hang out and He said, 00:06:00.28\00:06:03.57 you love to be outside, you love to be with friends, 00:06:03.60\00:06:06.24 so hang out with your family and hang out outside. 00:06:06.27\00:06:08.87 So that was an easy one and the next one. 00:06:08.91\00:06:11.65 I don't even want to say, I wanted to say, I can't do 00:06:11.68\00:06:16.93 the next one are you kidding me? 00:06:16.96\00:06:19.72 And the next one is what? 00:06:19.75\00:06:20.89 Jordan, Jordan: honor your father and your mother. 00:06:20.92\00:06:23.48 Cheri: honor your father and mother. 00:06:23.51\00:06:25.38 Are you kidding me? 00:06:25.41\00:06:27.57 I don't know if anybody has a father and mother that 00:06:27.61\00:06:30.56 just wasn't there for you. 00:06:30.59\00:06:33.14 My mom tried to self abort and she was a mess herself. 00:06:33.18\00:06:36.77 The more I get into healing the more I understand she 00:06:36.81\00:06:39.92 was a mess herself, but still how do you honor that. 00:06:39.96\00:06:42.76 My dad molested me most of my life and left really 00:06:42.79\00:06:45.56 early, and the other dad is a bartender 00:06:45.59\00:06:48.61 that was an alcoholic. 00:06:48.65\00:06:50.46 I'm thinking God, God what are You talking about? 00:06:50.49\00:06:54.82 That one was a tough one for me. 00:06:54.86\00:06:56.98 It was really interesting because when I got to that 00:06:57.02\00:06:59.63 one I had to say God, You are going to have to do that 00:06:59.66\00:07:02.24 for me, right, because I don't know how to do it. 00:07:02.27\00:07:04.88 I don't know what to do, I don't know what it means to 00:07:04.91\00:07:07.40 honor someone, what does it mean, honor? 00:07:07.44\00:07:10.71 I really had to pay attention, what does it mean? 00:07:10.75\00:07:14.47 God was so cool, He even said, for a while can you 00:07:14.51\00:07:18.20 picture your mom as a little tiny girl? 00:07:18.24\00:07:19.73 I did I pictured her as a 3- year-old, because I had a 00:07:19.76\00:07:22.56 little picture of a 3- year-old and that was the only 00:07:22.59\00:07:25.35 time my mom ever looked normal to me. 00:07:25.39\00:07:27.58 He said, can you honor her then and forgive her for 00:07:27.61\00:07:32.58 everything that will happen to her in her life that will 00:07:32.61\00:07:35.32 call certain not to be able to love her children? 00:07:35.36\00:07:37.42 I thought, oh man, oh man okay. 00:07:37.45\00:07:40.88 So He's teaching me how to honor your parents and how you do that 00:07:40.92\00:07:43.81 I even called them up, it was just amazing I really feel 00:07:43.85\00:07:47.74 like asking God how to do it and He started doing that. 00:07:47.77\00:07:51.99 If anybody has ever felt twisted, you are just inside. 00:07:52.02\00:07:56.20 You know that I can dress it up. 00:07:56.24\00:07:57.91 I can look normal. 00:07:57.95\00:07:58.98 I can look healthy, but inside I'm a mess, I'm a mess. 00:07:59.01\00:08:02.96 As God started teaching me I felt like the inside was 00:08:02.99\00:08:07.06 becoming untwisted. 00:08:07.10\00:08:08.37 Next Commandment, we had honor father and mother, 00:08:08.41\00:08:10.70 what is the next one? 00:08:10.74\00:08:11.77 Thou shalt not kill! 00:08:11.80\00:08:12.83 Thou shall not kill that was easy for me. 00:08:12.86\00:08:14.28 I thought about killing people but I never actually 00:08:14.31\00:08:16.81 killed people so I thought that was an easy one. 00:08:16.85\00:08:19.28 Then Jesus messed me up because in the New Testament it 00:08:19.32\00:08:23.17 says, I don't even want you to be angry with someone. 00:08:23.21\00:08:28.14 Oh stop, have You lived down here, and He was like yes. 00:08:28.18\00:08:33.08 And I was like oh yeah, alright so we got that. 00:08:33.11\00:08:35.68 Not only being angry but deal with your what you allow 00:08:35.72\00:08:39.28 your head to experience. 00:08:39.31\00:08:41.26 It says you can be angry about a situation that comes 00:08:41.30\00:08:44.59 up, but don't let anger or rage or definitely murder 00:08:44.62\00:08:47.88 enter the picture. 00:08:47.91\00:08:49.14 I was like, that is a hard one for me. 00:08:49.18\00:08:51.04 It took me years of letting God deal with my anger 00:08:51.08\00:08:55.20 stuff because I didn't realize if I could kill a few 00:08:55.24\00:08:59.32 people, I would. 00:08:59.36\00:09:01.05 You know I would have and I want to say that in 00:09:01.09\00:09:04.43 a way, that I do not know if I acknowledged that when I was 00:09:04.46\00:09:08.27 first in recovery, but God showed my heart in me and 00:09:08.30\00:09:11.85 there was a few, you know what I mean because 00:09:11.89\00:09:14.87 I had this horrible life. 00:09:14.91\00:09:16.39 I had to deal with that when, the next one is what? 00:09:16.43\00:09:18.29 Not commit adultery. 00:09:18.32\00:09:20.07 Oh man not commit adultery and I wasn't even married 00:09:20.11\00:09:23.50 so I was easy on that one, but He said don't even 00:09:23.53\00:09:26.58 sleep with your neighbor and I'm, like what? 00:09:26.62\00:09:29.38 So okay and I'm thinking don't even, and Christ took it 00:09:29.41\00:09:35.67 even further and He said don't even lust for someone. 00:09:35.70\00:09:37.91 Don't even watch somebody walked by and think 00:09:37.94\00:09:40.91 about their body parts as if they are not 00:09:40.95\00:09:44.05 connected to a person. 00:09:44.09\00:09:45.65 I'm thinking this is impossible. 00:09:45.68\00:09:49.65 I remember looking at the Ten Commandments one time 00:09:49.68\00:09:52.11 and said, you know, this is impossible, you know God. 00:09:52.14\00:09:54.54 And I wanted somehow for Him to explain to me, 00:09:54.57\00:09:58.22 how do you do that? 00:09:58.26\00:09:59.46 How do you do that, how do you get to a place where 00:09:59.49\00:10:03.03 you are so far out. 00:10:03.06\00:10:05.09 Jeremiah talks about we are so far out in our lust 00:10:05.13\00:10:08.44 in our junk and our sin that we don't even know 00:10:08.47\00:10:11.75 how to blush anymore. 00:10:11.79\00:10:12.82 We don't even know if it's right or wrong anymore. 00:10:12.85\00:10:14.75 I feel like I was right there, I didn't know 00:10:14.79\00:10:17.39 how to be pure. 00:10:17.42\00:10:21.33 Even because of where I came from that word was 00:10:21.37\00:10:25.90 looked at as lame, that's lame, that's not cool. 00:10:25.93\00:10:30.12 If you look at any movie, video game, if you look at 00:10:30.15\00:10:34.30 what's been joked about in comic books. 00:10:34.34\00:10:36.93 When you look at somebody that is pure, that person 00:10:36.96\00:10:40.88 just looks lame, so to me and my mind I looked at 00:10:40.91\00:10:44.67 purity, or Holiness, or going in that direction as 00:10:44.70\00:10:48.35 not cool and being out here and being this or that 00:10:48.38\00:10:51.99 was hipper, or more enlightened. 00:10:52.03\00:10:54.48 God just said that is killing you. 00:10:54.52\00:10:56.91 I wanted to say that out loud over and over as many 00:10:56.94\00:11:00.20 times as I can say, as a society, as a people, as my 00:11:00.23\00:11:03.46 friends, IT IS KILLING US. 00:11:03.49\00:11:05.58 We need to allow God to take us back to a place where 00:11:05.61\00:11:09.71 I can say okay, but I am so far from that place that 00:11:09.74\00:11:13.80 You have to teach me. 00:11:13.84\00:11:15.00 I promise you I can't even, there is nothing I can pull up 00:11:15.03\00:11:18.43 in myself to even let me know what that means. 00:11:18.46\00:11:21.65 This is an example, I was feeling like I was not 00:11:21.69\00:11:24.45 attractive and I had been married for while. 00:11:24.48\00:11:27.58 I was like God you know I just want someone 00:11:27.62\00:11:30.68 to flirt with me. 00:11:30.72\00:11:31.86 God is like hello! I can't do that for you. 00:11:31.89\00:11:36.38 I remember thinking that it was my birthday and I'm 00:11:36.42\00:11:39.83 getting older and I know my husband loves me, 00:11:39.87\00:11:42.90 but I just want someone to flirt with me a little so 00:11:42.93\00:11:45.99 I know that I'm still cute [and you can send me an 00:11:46.03\00:11:49.05 e- mail if you, no I'm kidding]. 00:11:49.08\00:11:50.69 I'm driving down the street one day and I look up and 00:11:50.73\00:11:54.18 I see a billboard that is huge, it's huge. 00:11:54.22\00:11:56.73 There is an insurance guy and he is kind of cutie, 00:11:56.76\00:11:59.45 and he is smiling, looks like he is smiling at 00:11:59.48\00:12:02.14 all the cars going by. 00:12:02.17\00:12:03.56 I looked up and the Holy Spirit said, is that good? 00:12:03.60\00:12:06.09 because that's the best I can do? 00:12:06.13\00:12:08.63 I just wanted to crack up that even God knows, 00:12:08.66\00:12:12.23 even in our healing that we still has those draws that 00:12:12.27\00:12:17.11 are pulling in stuff that is not healthy for us. 00:12:17.14\00:12:20.89 For me, even asking God, can You arrange this for me? 00:12:20.93\00:12:24.98 Because I am feeling insecure. 00:12:25.02\00:12:26.46 God is just saying if you can get this one, 00:12:26.50\00:12:28.86 I promise you that I will bring you to a place 00:12:28.90\00:12:31.81 where you can stand in integrity as a woman and 00:12:31.85\00:12:35.21 just be at rest, at peace in your own skin. 00:12:35.25\00:12:38.54 So I am thinking okay, that when I do not understand 00:12:38.57\00:12:41.39 at all, and to this day, He is still walking me through 00:12:41.42\00:12:44.21 that one, but initially coming into recovery, 00:12:44.24\00:12:46.74 I didn't know anything, I really didn't know what 00:12:46.78\00:12:49.24 God was asking me. 00:12:49.27\00:12:50.56 What is really fun about the Commandments, as I was 00:12:50.60\00:12:53.99 learning the Commandments, is that He was just saying, 00:12:54.03\00:12:56.03 every single time that you get any part of this, 00:12:56.06\00:12:58.42 every time you figure out any of this, 00:12:58.45\00:12:59.98 you are going to get some victory. 00:13:00.01\00:13:01.46 Okay the next one, so we have adultery, 00:13:01.50\00:13:03.40 and the next one is? 00:13:03.44\00:13:04.47 Do not steal, don't even let me go in your bathroom if 00:13:04.50\00:13:08.32 I'm a guest because I will be looking at your stuff. 00:13:08.36\00:13:12.22 I hate that, and raise your hand if you know what 00:13:12.26\00:13:16.09 I am saying and be honest. 00:13:16.12\00:13:17.38 Okay so what really is interesting with do not steal, 00:13:17.42\00:13:21.74 I have since I was a little kid, stole. 00:13:21.78\00:13:26.58 My parents were addicts and my friends were thieves. 00:13:26.61\00:13:29.75 When I was homeless we were taught to do that and the 00:13:29.79\00:13:32.89 better you did that the better you were. 00:13:32.93\00:13:35.87 I was groomed for that and taught that and 00:13:35.90\00:13:38.81 I thought normal people weren't. 00:13:38.84\00:13:41.36 You just watch anybody do their taxes, no I'm kidding, 00:13:41.39\00:13:45.55 no I am not kidding, we all have that stuff at different 00:13:45.58\00:13:49.38 levels and God is saying let me teach you about being 00:13:49.42\00:13:53.18 honest and not stealing, and not taking. 00:13:53.22\00:13:55.97 Let the offering plate go by without trying to take 00:13:56.01\00:13:59.24 something from it and all that kind of stuff. 00:13:59.28\00:14:01.08 I'm like okay, but I don't know how to do that one either. 00:14:01.11\00:14:05.51 It was real interesting because my first reaction to 00:14:05.54\00:14:08.56 God was, I'm not a thief, I don't steal. 00:14:08.59\00:14:11.09 He started to just pointing out when I had the urge, 00:14:11.12\00:14:14.62 when in I wanted to, when I actually looked at something 00:14:14.65\00:14:18.11 as if I could I would have it. 00:14:18.14\00:14:20.96 When I cheated on my taxes, when I lied to Brad about, 00:14:20.99\00:14:24.98 my husband, what I spent money on and all that kind 00:14:25.02\00:14:28.94 of stuff, so He just said let Me show you that kind of thing. 00:14:28.97\00:14:32.61 I promise you that you will get freedom stepping away 00:14:32.65\00:14:36.65 from that, what is the next one? 00:14:36.69\00:14:37.80 Steal - false witness. 00:14:37.84\00:14:39.95 Oh man, false witness and don't talk about people 00:14:39.99\00:14:44.36 in a false way, don't lie and I'm like, oh man. 00:14:44.39\00:14:48.28 I wish I could say to the entire world, to anybody 00:14:48.32\00:14:52.17 watching us, have you ever lied? 00:14:52.21\00:14:55.08 And just have our hands go up and God just saying, 00:14:55.12\00:14:59.03 I am going to teach you to be honest. 00:14:59.06\00:15:02.44 To be trustworthy, to have your word mean something. 00:15:02.47\00:15:05.93 I thought, just kill me because I will never get that 00:15:05.97\00:15:09.64 one and God is so funny because, He just so lovingly 00:15:09.67\00:15:12.99 He grabbed me on the face and said, you'll get this one. 00:15:13.02\00:15:16.30 I will be faithful to help you get there. 00:15:16.34\00:15:18.61 I'm like, but God and God is saying I promise you. 00:15:18.64\00:15:24.90 What is the last one there is one more? 00:15:24.93\00:15:27.18 Don't covet - don't covet. 00:15:27.21\00:15:29.64 Don't envy things that other people have. 00:15:29.68\00:15:31.72 Don't covet their house, their property, their wives, 00:15:31.76\00:15:36.20 their husbands, their children, their pets and all 00:15:36.24\00:15:40.64 that kind of stuff don't covet it. 00:15:40.68\00:15:41.74 I just started saying, God You're going to have to do that. 00:15:41.78\00:15:45.19 My journey was that I came into the church all messed 00:15:45.22\00:15:48.51 up and God said let Me show you a standard, not that 00:15:48.55\00:15:51.58 you are going to feel ever in your life that you will 00:15:51.62\00:15:54.49 meet this standard, but that you and I are going to start 00:15:54.53\00:15:57.36 working on you and you will be blessed. 00:15:57.40\00:16:00.34 And man I have been. 00:16:00.37\00:16:02.44 We are going to be talking through this program about 00:16:02.48\00:16:05.53 God bringing us out of one place, showing us something 00:16:05.57\00:16:08.49 so we can actually move on to another place and I want 00:16:08.52\00:16:11.41 to be praying for you too! 00:16:11.44\00:16:12.52 To let Him show you that and we will be right back. 00:16:12.55\00:16:15.32 Stay with us! 00:16:15.36\00:16:16.42