If you feel like you
are totally a mess and there
00:00:10.20\00:00:13.48
there is no hope, I've been
damaged, you don't even know.
00:00:13.51\00:00:16.62
This program is
for you and I know that
00:00:16.66\00:00:18.72
you are going to be
blessed. So come in!
00:00:18.76\00:00:20.79
Did you ever grow up in a
home where you never measured
00:00:48.44\00:00:51.01
up, where you were mistreated,
where you were maligned?
00:00:51.04\00:00:53.58
As a result you
felt that God could never
00:00:53.62\00:00:56.69
approve of you?
00:00:56.73\00:00:57.76
Have you committed some
hidden sin, harbored hatred,
00:00:57.79\00:01:00.45
and I mean hatred.
00:01:00.48\00:01:01.74
There are times in my
own recovery and my own life
00:01:01.78\00:01:04.80
that I just felt
like, you know what
00:01:04.83\00:01:07.36
I am just angry at everyone.
00:01:07.39\00:01:09.27
I remember when I first got
into recovery, I am thinking
00:01:09.31\00:01:13.29
I just think I'm crazy, I
think I have so much junk.
00:01:13.32\00:01:17.02
My parents are addicts,
most of you know that already
00:01:17.06\00:01:20.73
and my mom was 14
years old when she had me.
00:01:20.76\00:01:24.46
I grew up in all that
kind of stuff, and I get into a
00:01:24.49\00:01:27.28
Christian life and
every has, or appears to have,
00:01:27.31\00:01:30.06
this normal background.
00:01:30.09\00:01:31.77
I'm just filled with
rage, I'm filled with anger.
00:01:31.80\00:01:35.29
I don't even know it yet.
00:01:35.33\00:01:37.00
First time I went to a
counselor he sat there and said,
00:01:37.04\00:01:39.77
you have a lot of stuff
in your background, have you
00:01:39.80\00:01:42.50
ever been angry?
00:01:42.54\00:01:43.57
I said, No I don't think
so. He's like, Oh my goodness.
00:01:43.60\00:01:46.15
Because
obviously I am in denial.
00:01:46.18\00:01:49.34
So have you ever felt
like you have so much junk, so
00:01:49.37\00:01:52.82
much anger, so much
hatred, so much unforgiveness,
00:01:52.86\00:01:56.27
that even God can't forgive you.
00:01:56.31\00:01:58.72
You are fully persuaded
that God is going to somehow
00:01:58.76\00:02:02.72
reject you because of
all this kind of stuff.
00:02:02.76\00:02:06.74
Oh man, I felt like
that more than anything.
00:02:06.77\00:02:10.69
I was really afraid that if
God really knew my stuff, if
00:02:10.72\00:02:14.03
He really knew what I was
thinking, if He really knew the
00:02:14.06\00:02:17.33
things that I thought about.
00:02:17.37\00:02:19.32
My dad molested me from 3
months old on, I don't know
00:02:19.35\00:02:23.24
what it feels like to be normal,
in a normal relationship.
00:02:23.28\00:02:26.04
My dad dies in a crack
house, strung out sexually.
00:02:26.08\00:02:28.58
The more I was surrounded
by normal people, that wanted
00:02:28.62\00:02:33.46
me to be normal desperately,
you know what I mean?
00:02:33.50\00:02:36.40
I came in and they just
said, sit down and be normal.
00:02:36.44\00:02:40.11
The more that anger
stuff came up and that wanted
00:02:40.15\00:02:43.79
someone to pay and
all those kind of things.
00:02:43.82\00:02:46.73
I just felt like I got
more and more twisted in that.
00:02:46.77\00:02:51.55
As God started to love
me, and I love in John 4:8,
00:02:51.59\00:02:56.62
is one of my favorite text.
00:02:56.65\00:02:58.50
It is tiny, it
says, "God is love".
00:02:58.53\00:03:00.87
So as revealed Himself, not
that He made it up, not that
00:03:00.90\00:03:05.85
all of a sudden He came up
and said, Cheri I'm going to
00:03:05.88\00:03:08.14
muster up love for you.
00:03:08.17\00:03:10.10
It's like it's who I
am, let me show you who I Am
00:03:10.13\00:03:12.79
because in that you
are going to start to heal.
00:03:12.82\00:03:15.06
As He started doing that for me,
00:03:15.09\00:03:17.43
it was absolutely unbelievable.
00:03:17.46\00:03:19.16
I watch Him over
and over and over again
00:03:19.19\00:03:21.50
doing that for other people.
00:03:21.53\00:03:22.60
I want to tell you one
story that just to talk about
00:03:22.63\00:03:26.04
the love of God that I
saw recently that was amazing.
00:03:26.07\00:03:28.82
I am working with this kid and
00:03:28.85\00:03:30.33
he is a really damaged kid.
00:03:30.36\00:03:32.97
I met him the first time
he is like, I don't know 13.
00:03:33.00\00:03:36.08
Then I met him at 15,
and then I met him at 17.
00:03:36.11\00:03:39.59
He is smoking weed and
angry, parents are druggies,
00:03:39.62\00:03:45.14
and he is just
not the nicest kid.
00:03:45.17\00:03:48.65
But he adores me, do you
know what I mean, I just know
00:03:48.68\00:03:52.05
it, I knew it when we first
met him it was like for some
00:03:52.08\00:03:54.62
reason, I think
it was the God in me.
00:03:54.65\00:03:56.67
You know what I mean, for
some reason I trust you and I
00:03:56.70\00:03:59.82
really want a life and I
think that maybe you are saying
00:03:59.85\00:04:02.33
that I can have a life.
00:04:02.36\00:04:03.47
So every time I met him,
every time I traveled through
00:04:03.50\00:04:06.87
California, that
is where he is at.
00:04:06.90\00:04:08.24
Every time I traveled through,
I was just couldn't wait,
00:04:08.27\00:04:11.01
I couldn't wait to
sit down and hang out.
00:04:11.04\00:04:13.35
See how are you doing
and you know I love you.
00:04:13.38\00:04:16.73
The first thing he would
say to me is something like,
00:04:16.76\00:04:18.85
you know I am
still smoking weed?
00:04:18.88\00:04:20.24
I still love you and somebody
may say, you know Cheri,
00:04:20.27\00:04:23.18
can you love somebody
smoking weed? Absolutely!
00:04:23.21\00:04:25.67
You know what I
mean, that God does or else
00:04:25.70\00:04:28.06
we would be in trouble.
00:04:28.09\00:04:29.12
But anyhow so I
invited him here not long ago.
00:04:29.15\00:04:33.01
I said, I am doing some
things at 3ABN, would you come?
00:04:33.04\00:04:35.77
Somebody that is smoking
weed that is really trashed,
00:04:35.80\00:04:38.99
they look at you
like is that allowed?
00:04:39.02\00:04:42.34
I'm thinking, just
sneak in the back, you know!
00:04:42.37\00:04:45.63
Yes I want you to come,
I want you to be my guest.
00:04:45.66\00:04:48.37
So he comes and I'm thinking
that for him to come was
00:04:48.40\00:04:52.39
a big deal, he came with
a group of foster kids and
00:04:52.42\00:04:54.44
all that kind of stuff.
00:04:54.47\00:04:55.60
The foster kids and the
foster families were having a
00:04:55.63\00:04:58.10
great time about being here.
00:04:58.13\00:04:59.47
We are at the church, we
are having an event and he
00:04:59.50\00:05:03.44
sneaks in the back.
00:05:03.47\00:05:04.50
Sits in the very back row.
00:05:04.53\00:05:06.32
He is sitting there and
he doesn't want to be seen by
00:05:06.35\00:05:10.43
anyone because he
is still smoking weed.
00:05:10.46\00:05:12.79
He is in the back row
and he is just adorable kid,
00:05:12.82\00:05:16.56
adorable kid.
00:05:16.59\00:05:17.67
There was a little
girl, a little tiny girl and
00:05:17.70\00:05:20.97
she is sitting here and
he is sitting and she is in
00:05:21.00\00:05:22.79
front of him.
00:05:22.82\00:05:24.37
She turns around
and looks at him.
00:05:24.40\00:05:27.17
And then turns around
and starts playing with toys,
00:05:30.28\00:05:34.12
she is like 7.
00:05:34.15\00:05:35.36
He is stop looking at me.
00:05:36.95\00:05:38.27
She is doing something
and she turns around an
00:05:38.30\00:05:42.57
looks at him, then she
turns around and starts
00:05:43.57\00:05:46.98
playing again,
coloring and stuff.
00:05:47.01\00:05:49.12
He is like stop
looking at me and by this time
00:05:49.15\00:05:52.46
he can't hardly
concentrate on the concert and
00:05:52.49\00:05:54.73
things going on stage
because this little girl
00:05:54.76\00:05:56.72
would keep looking at him.
00:05:56.75\00:05:57.96
As he is thinking don't
look at me, his palms start
00:05:57.99\00:06:01.70
sweating, and he
doesn't know why his palms are
00:06:01.73\00:06:04.00
sweating, it's
just a little kid.
00:06:04.03\00:06:05.08
I don't even know her.
00:06:05.11\00:06:06.14
She turns around and
she looks at him again,
00:06:06.17\00:06:08.46
and he is like
stop looking at me.
00:06:08.49\00:06:10.86
She is drawing on this
piece of paper and pretty soon
00:06:10.89\00:06:13.43
she drops the
paper on the ground.
00:06:13.46\00:06:15.09
She takes her
toe and she scoots it
00:06:15.12\00:06:18.63
all the way across to him.
00:06:18.66\00:06:21.80
Right by his toe.
00:06:21.83\00:06:22.88
She looks at him, and
he is like, I don't want to
00:06:22.91\00:06:25.83
look down, I don't
want to even look down.
00:06:25.86\00:06:27.96
She just has her toe
there, and she is looking
00:06:27.99\00:06:31.26
right at him, and
he is looking at her,
00:06:31.29\00:06:33.26
and his palms are sweating.
00:06:33.29\00:06:35.68
He says the entire
room feels like he is just,
00:06:35.71\00:06:38.40
what is going on
and he grabs the paper.
00:06:38.43\00:06:41.87
It is a picture of
him sitting in a chair.
00:06:41.90\00:06:44.54
Underneath it, it says,
God loves you no matter what.
00:06:44.57\00:06:47.78
He said, I felt myself heal.
00:06:47.81\00:06:51.91
I felt myself heal.
00:06:51.94\00:06:54.00
This little girl had no
idea, but God used her to say to
00:06:54.03\00:06:57.72
this kid smoking weed, in
rebellion, is that I love you.
00:06:57.75\00:07:02.20
I don't love you because I
have to, I love you because
00:07:02.23\00:07:04.97
it is my nature.
00:07:05.00\00:07:06.10
It is who I AM!
00:07:06.13\00:07:07.16
I wanted to say, I had
just finished this book.
00:07:07.19\00:07:09.38
It's kind of a fictional
book, but in this book it has a
00:07:09.41\00:07:14.13
description of God talking
to somebody about their pain.
00:07:14.16\00:07:17.74
He said, you know a blue
bird flies in the window,
00:07:17.77\00:07:21.45
and they are
looking at this blue bird.
00:07:21.48\00:07:23.33
He said it is the nature
of that blue bird to fly.
00:07:23.36\00:07:26.74
The guy is looking at
the blue bird absolutely,
00:07:26.77\00:07:31.29
and when a bird is
injured, most birds.
00:07:31.32\00:07:34.93
When they are
injured and they don't fly,
00:07:34.96\00:07:36.91
they are handicapped.
00:07:36.94\00:07:39.66
It is their nature, they
will always have something in
00:07:39.69\00:07:42.28
their nature that says,
hey I am suppose to fly.
00:07:42.31\00:07:44.82
When they see other
birds fly by, it is like, I am
00:07:44.85\00:07:46.93
suppose to be flying.
00:07:46.96\00:07:48.10
Just like that bird, it
is our nature to be loved.
00:07:48.13\00:07:53.13
It is absolutely our nature.
00:07:53.16\00:07:55.15
So we are born in situations
where and places where
00:07:55.18\00:07:58.05
all of a sudden people
who are in our lives do
00:07:58.08\00:08:00.39
not know how to do that.
00:08:00.42\00:08:01.56
We will never forget that
part of our nature because
00:08:01.59\00:08:05.50
it is our nature to be loved.
00:08:05.53\00:08:06.74
It is our nature to soar
that way, it's in our nature to
00:08:06.77\00:08:09.86
be unfolded in that way by love.
00:08:09.89\00:08:12.80
So when we get damaged,
when something comes into our
00:08:12.83\00:08:17.40
life and we are mistreated,
abused in anyway, we have
00:08:17.43\00:08:23.17
parents that were never
loved themselves so they don't
00:08:23.20\00:08:25.14
know how to speak that into us.
00:08:25.17\00:08:26.81
We are handicapped,
severely handicapped.
00:08:26.84\00:08:31.17
God said, because I AM
God, I know that about you.
00:08:31.20\00:08:34.51
I know that in this
area you need to heal.
00:08:34.54\00:08:38.53
Not in all the addictive
stuff, in the area you are able
00:08:38.56\00:08:43.90
to bring in and receive
love into your life, because all
00:08:43.93\00:08:46.78
the other stuff will
fall when you get there.
00:08:46.81\00:08:49.22
So because I know it is
your nature, I know that
00:08:49.25\00:08:51.93
I need to heal that part.
00:08:51.96\00:08:54.43
What is amazing to me is
that analogy as I am thinking
00:08:54.46\00:08:57.77
about that, I'm
thinking I have trust issues.
00:08:57.80\00:09:01.35
So what if God one day
decides He doesn't love me?
00:09:01.38\00:09:06.12
Because I am not lovable,
and He says, His nature can't
00:09:06.15\00:09:09.13
do that, He is love!
00:09:09.16\00:09:11.45
So it is not that someday
He is going to see too much of
00:09:11.48\00:09:14.04
us, or that He is going to
understand too much about us,
00:09:14.07\00:09:16.20
or that we are going to
be too much for Him and He is
00:09:16.23\00:09:18.85
going to stop loving.
00:09:18.88\00:09:19.96
God is LOVE!
00:09:19.99\00:09:21.02
He is not reliant on us to
muster that up, it's His nature.
00:09:21.05\00:09:24.29
The only thing He says to
us is that do you trust Me
00:09:24.32\00:09:27.79
enough, and if you don't
let me deal with that even.
00:09:27.82\00:09:30.88
Just walk this direction,
just come towards Me and I
00:09:30.91\00:09:34.23
will promise you that I
will unfold for you all the
00:09:34.26\00:09:36.88
different things in your life.
00:09:36.91\00:09:38.03
I will get you into a
place where you can stand in
00:09:38.06\00:09:40.44
front of Me and just be blessed.
00:09:40.47\00:09:44.87
Just for maybe the first
time, open up and feel what
00:09:44.90\00:09:48.99
it feels like to actually
walk in your true nature which
00:09:49.02\00:09:52.37
is to be loved, and adored,
and accepted, spoke into and
00:09:52.40\00:09:58.85
all that kind of stuff.
00:09:58.88\00:10:00.43
We are going to talk, on
this program, to a gentleman
00:10:00.46\00:10:03.62
you are going to love.
00:10:03.65\00:10:04.68
About his life and where
he came to a place where he
00:10:04.71\00:10:07.04
could say to God, Okay God
I am done, I don't even know
00:10:07.07\00:10:10.50
what else to do, please help me.
00:10:10.53\00:10:12.30
I think all of heaven
celebrates, all of heaven turns
00:10:12.33\00:10:15.90
around and says you know
what, I was hoping you would
00:10:15.93\00:10:18.24
ask that today.
00:10:18.27\00:10:19.42
I am hoping you
will ask that today.
00:10:19.45\00:10:21.12
We'll be right
back, stay with us!
00:10:21.15\00:10:22.55