Welcome to
Celebrating Life In Recovery,
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I'm Cheri your host and
today were going to look at five
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things about early recovery,
especially if you get this
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your recovery will be a blast.
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If you get this you
can teach someone else.
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Come join us!
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In an earlier show we
talked about a guy named Tim.
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And Tim, a sales man,
comes home late at night only
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because he did not want
to spend the night in another
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city, and in another hotel.
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He drives home gets in
his car accident on the way.
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His car flips, he's on
the side of the road thinking
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he's okay, thinking
I'm fine, nothing is wrong.
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He realizes when he tries
to move that he cannot move.
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He can't do
anything so he lays there.
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Now he is coming in
and out of consciousness.
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An older couple was driving
across the state and their
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headlights happened to
hit the metal on his car.
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So they come back and stop.
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They see the car had
just happened to see this guy
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laying there, and they
walked up and when they looked
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at him, he knew that
he was seriously hurt.
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The color drained from
their face and they knew this
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guy was dying and they
ended up getting him to the
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hospital as quick as they could.
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He was almost dead, he
was bleeding to death on the
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side of the road.
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His leg was broken in a
number places and it was so
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swollen they
couldn't even cast him up.
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His head was cut open
they had to do stitches
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and shave his head.
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His healing process, I
love this, his healing process
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took time, he ended up
going home from the hospital
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with his wife and with
all the care of the doctors
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they ended up when the
swelling went down they could
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put the cast on.
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He said he didn't know
for was harder for him limping
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all over the place, or
when he looked in the mirror
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and had this goofy haircut.
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Had this normal haircut
on one side and then shaved
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on the other side.
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Time went by and the cast
came off, he strengthen the
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muscles in his leg,
and the limp went away.
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Of course he got his hair
cut and had a normal haircut.
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After a while the only
thing that shows on him
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is a few scars, right?
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He said the scars
were hardly noticeable.
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As I was reading this, I
read it in a book called,
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'The Search For
Significance' by Robert McGee.
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An incredible book,
but as I'm reading that
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I'm thinking
about my own recovery.
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I'm a heroine addict,
strung out on the bed in a drug
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house trying to kill
myself when I meet God.
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I had no idea how
damaged I was, even physically.
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The first time I met
the person that helped me
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in recovery, her name was Donna.
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An incredible Adventist
woman, she was just amazing.
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A thousand years old, a
vegan vegetarian and I'm
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withdrawing from heroine
and looking for anything.
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She would let me stay at
her house and I was looking
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for coffee, tea, do
you have any chocolate?
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Do you have any
heroine somewhere in a drawer?
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I was just withdrawing
and this woman's husband was a
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dentist and I had been
beaten by some motorcycle gang
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and had some teeth knocked
out the front of my mouth.
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So I needed some teeth.
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As he is looking at my
teeth he realizes that my face
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is rotted, right? So he
has to literally cut into my
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face and scraped my
jawbone to get the infection out
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of my face before he
could deal with the teeth
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I didn't have and hope
that I could hold the teeth
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that I will have.
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The whole time I'm thinking
God, you are so cool and
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this is so amazing that
You work with folks like this.
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So this recovered was
one step at a time, just like
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the guy in the
accident one step at a time.
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Most of my stuff
was emotional recovery.
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I didn't have to wait
for cast go off, but I
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definitely had no idea
how to interact with folks.
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I had no idea, the first
time I got invited to sit
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with somebody at
potluck at a church.
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I was so scared.
My palms were sweating
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I sat down and they were
talking about normal stuff.
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My heart started beating
because I knew the conversation
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was coming to me and I thought
I do not know how to talk.
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And you look so normal,
I can't do this and it kept
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coming to me and I'm thinking
oh don't, don't come to me.
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I wanted to push the
conversation away but
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it came to me.
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The only thing I could
think of to say, hi my first
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suicide attempt
was when I was eight.
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Nobody was even talking
suicide, but that was the only
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thing I can think of to say.
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So in my recovery I
even had to learn to talk,
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to socialize, not to
just bleed all of the place.
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I don't mean physically
bleed, I mean emotionally
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bleed because it
was just where I was at.
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That took years, and so
we are going to talk about
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some things in recovery
that you just need to know.
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You need to know in
order to just do it.
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And if you don't get
this, it is really tough to get
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the rest and so pay
attention, write it down.
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As I'm introducing the
guest grab a paper and a pencil
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or a pen and write some
of this stuff down because
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it is good stuff.
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We have a number of the
people at the café today.
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We have Tara and Kevin
and we are going to hear your
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whole story
today and I love that.
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We have some folks that
are just coming in because
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we grabbed them off the streets.
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As we go on the show hopefully
you'll see they're smiling
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faces and I want to say
I'm so glad you're here.
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I want to just talk about
the five things that you need
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in recovery, and some
people try to skip stages.
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One of the things you
need in recovery is honesty.
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Honesty is important because
we can't even apply any of
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our healing to ourselves
until I know I need healing.
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Have you ever met someone,
raise your hand if you know
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I'm telling the truth,
have you ever met somebody so
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angry and have this range
disorder, out to lunch and
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you will ask them if
they have any issues?
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They're like no, why do you ask?
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And they're mad at you because
you asked, they don't even
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think they have anger so
until a person understands that
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they have anger issues,
they won't even get any help.
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So until I understand I
need help, I don't even reach
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for help, so it's not honesty
is I need to learn how to
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be honest which
for me was a big thing.
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I lied my head off, I
don't know if anybody does that.
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On the street
you play everybody.
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I was homeless for 10
years so I played everybody.
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When I came into the church
I figured out who you wanted
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to sit next to you,
and I was that person.
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I would lie or what
ever to convince you I was
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that person because I
didn't know who I was,
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do you know what I mean?
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I'm not talking about that
kind of honesty, I'm talking
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about honesty in my own self.
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What do I need to deal
with? What are my issues?
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I had manipulation,
relationships issues,
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addiction issues, I
didn't know how to allow anyone
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to even touch me.
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Somebody would sweep by
an accidentally touch me and
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I would think what's
up? What do you want?
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It could have been a male
or female because it didn't
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matter, I was homeless by
13 years old so I had been
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abused in many ways by
both sexes so it didn't matter
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I couldn't even be touched.
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I had to honestly
look at some of that stuff.
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Some people's issues
are lighter than that,
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do you know what I mean?
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When I say lighter, some
people's issues are being
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perfectionists, or
they are hypochondriac.
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Do you know anybody like that?
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Everything is wrong
with them all the time and
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they don't even know that.
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In an earlier show you
saw one of my good friends,
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Misty, Misty was
ragging about her step parents,
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and not step
parents but her in-laws.
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And they weren't treating
her right by her issue was
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she was so insecure
and she had so much stuff
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that no matter what
someone did around her
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it could hurt her feelings.
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Finally I said Misty this
is your stuff, this is not
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their stuff and she
looked at me like what?
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What are you talking
about? She was almost mad at me.
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She was almost mad at me. Did
I tell you what they said to me?
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I'm thinking Hon, it's
your stuff and it really
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affects you so deeply
that you cannot let it go.
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It has to be
something from your past.
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So honestly being able to
look at that is a huge deal.
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I met another woman, she
is married to a Vietnam vet.
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On the first season
we covered their story.
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A Vietnam vet, with rage
disorder, murdered someone when
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he was 17, this guy was crazy.
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I love him so, if
you're watching the show
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you know I love you.
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By love him and he is
just nuts, he went through this
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whole rage thing and she
would say something to him and
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he could go off on a
rage for three or four months.
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She said I just
have to leave him.
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I would bring them over
to my house, stay at my house
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for awhile because we
really do need to get some
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serious one to one
counseling and stuff.
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So they came over to my
house and I find out that she
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is so codependent that
she really enables his rage.
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So I said to her at one
point, I said his problem is
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maybe 30% of the issue,
you are 70% of the problem.
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If she had a knife I
think I would have been stabbed.
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She was so mad at me
that she started screaming.
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You know I didn't come over
here for you to tell me that,
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I didn't come over here
for you to say it's my fault.
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I tried everything. I
try to do the right thing.
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I try to be right, there
is nothing, nothing I haven't
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done to make his life better.
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When he gets angry I
try to smile and just
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be a good Christian wife.
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She is going on and on and
on as saying Hon, slow down.
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We find out after talking
that she's tried everything
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since she was two years
old, she's try to make it right
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that she was two years old.
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She had tried everything
with her family, she tried
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everything with her children,
she tried everything with
00:10:02.36\00:10:04.53
her husband, but she never
learned to be herself and she
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never learned to be real.
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So honesty is about
being able to look at who am I?
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Who am I? What are the issues?
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What does my
dysfunction look like?
00:10:14.67\00:10:16.64
For 14 years I
prayed for my husband.
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I married this guy
that was normal, right?
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I'm from this crazy background
and he was a Boy Scout
00:10:20.74\00:10:23.30
until he was 18
years old, Eagle Scout.
00:10:23.34\00:10:26.75
His father was an ambassador
for the United States,
00:10:26.78\00:10:29.70
but he has issues, right?
00:10:29.74\00:10:31.27
But the whole time I married
I'm telling God to fix him.
00:10:31.31\00:10:34.80
Finally God says, fix yourself.
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Soon as I got that and
honestly look back some of my
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real issues about
intimacy and relationships
00:10:39.75\00:10:43.32
he got fixed right
away, I was so in his way.
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Okay so honesty is the
first thing, the next thing,
00:10:46.89\00:10:49.74
once you can honestly
look at yourself and start to
00:10:49.77\00:10:52.58
bring some of the
junk to the surface.
00:10:52.62\00:10:55.03
Some of the junk, molest
issues, depression, anger,
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insecurities, not being
able to love our be loved,
00:10:58.98\00:11:02.49
trusting someone, all
those things that are so core.
00:11:02.52\00:11:05.49
The next thing is finding
an affirming relationship.
00:11:05.52\00:11:08.45
I mean an affirming.
00:11:08.49\00:11:11.07
I want someone to set
next to me and say you know
00:11:11.11\00:11:13.13
Cheri, I absolutely love you.
00:11:13.16\00:11:14.78
I absolutely love you, you
are so cool, you are a good
00:11:14.82\00:11:18.44
friend, but you know when
you lie like that it makes me
00:11:18.47\00:11:22.06
mad because I just
don't feel like I can connect.
00:11:22.09\00:11:24.67
I don't know what to say
because I know you are lying.
00:11:24.71\00:11:26.83
Do you know what I mean?
00:11:26.87\00:11:27.92
I can turn around
to that friend and say
00:11:27.96\00:11:29.70
what do you mean lying?
00:11:29.74\00:11:30.91
If she is a good friend,
she will not back down, right?
00:11:30.95\00:11:34.04
Because she is
going to affirm whom I am,
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but be honest about my junk.
00:11:37.17\00:11:39.40
If I'm spending too
much, anybody is spend-a-holic?
00:11:39.43\00:11:45.26
When you get
stressed go out to the mall.
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Oh you guys come on,
anybody raise your hand.
00:11:47.79\00:11:50.19
And I love that because I
look cute but my bills at the
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end of the month are horrible
if you know what I mean.
00:11:54.19\00:11:57.57
Those are addictions so I
need someone that loves me
00:11:57.61\00:12:00.83
that says you know what,
every time you get stressed
00:12:00.87\00:12:04.05
you get a new
wardrobe but then you complain
00:12:04.09\00:12:06.86
about being broke, right?
00:12:06.90\00:12:09.03
There is a book that I
loved, one of my favorite books
00:12:09.07\00:12:11.57
early on in recovery called,'
Caring Enough To Confront'
00:12:11.60\00:12:14.07
do I care about the
person standing next to me
00:12:14.10\00:12:17.31
to confront them? Not to
confront them by grabbing
00:12:17.35\00:12:20.53
them by the collar
and saying hey buddy
00:12:20.56\00:12:22.14
what's wrong with you?
00:12:22.17\00:12:24.32
But confronting them as a
friend, you are my brother
00:12:24.36\00:12:27.35
or sister in Christ, my
brother and sister in recovery,
00:12:27.38\00:12:30.11
I don't want to see you
relapse, I don't want to see
00:12:30.14\00:12:32.83
you dysfunctional so
deal with your stuff.
00:12:32.87\00:12:36.06
With my husband, I
wanted chaos, I'm an addict,
00:12:36.09\00:12:40.57
I want chaos and I
want some noise in my house.
00:12:40.61\00:12:44.80
I'm a very abnormal
person so I have to pretty much
00:12:44.83\00:12:48.08
trip him walking down
the hall to get a reaction.
00:12:48.12\00:12:51.30
And I am willing to do
that, but there were times that
00:12:51.33\00:12:55.59
I would be so ahh and he
would say Cheri I think that
00:12:55.62\00:12:59.84
your stuff. Oh shut up!
00:12:59.88\00:13:02.16
I would want to grant him
and say I don't want to hear
00:13:02.20\00:13:05.15
that, I'm PMS-ing I want
some chaos and I don't care
00:13:05.18\00:13:08.09
if it's my stuff.
But he would so honestly
00:13:08.13\00:13:11.10
say, it's your
stuff. I love you.
00:13:11.14\00:13:12.68
I'm just so do not know
where to go with that when you
00:13:12.71\00:13:16.05
go there, and
after a year or two,
00:13:16.09\00:13:18.40
he might even say five.
00:13:18.44\00:13:20.17
But after a year or
two I finally got it.
00:13:20.20\00:13:22.68
He cared enough to confront
me on my stuff and not go there
00:13:22.72\00:13:27.37
with me, not interact
and all that stuff with me.
00:13:27.41\00:13:29.79
That is such a cool thing.
00:13:29.83\00:13:31.61
Sometimes if you don't
have a personal relationship
00:13:31.65\00:13:34.20
you can grab
somebody is a friend that can
00:13:34.23\00:13:36.69
just hang out with you.
00:13:36.72\00:13:37.96
AA is an incredible place,
I didn't do recovery there
00:13:37.99\00:13:40.98
but the incredible thing
about AA is that you get an
00:13:41.02\00:13:43.98
accountability
partner, you get a sponsor.
00:13:44.01\00:13:47.04
Someone that actually you
can call anytime, and if you
00:13:47.07\00:13:50.77
call them and you are
whining about something and
00:13:50.81\00:13:53.57
it is not healthy,
that person tells you.
00:13:53.60\00:13:56.03
It's such a gift, so getting
an affirming relationship
00:13:56.06\00:13:59.14
where someone can honestly
tell you where you are at,
00:13:59.18\00:14:02.22
and where you are not at.
00:14:02.25\00:14:03.55
I had a person were finally
had to say you know what?
00:14:03.58\00:14:06.43
I'm starting to see your
phone number on my cell phone,
00:14:06.47\00:14:09.29
and I don't want
to answer the phone.
00:14:09.32\00:14:11.17
She was like, why not?
Because you are always negative.
00:14:11.20\00:14:16.36
Your always whining, you know.
00:14:16.39\00:14:18.02
I think she wanted to cuss
me out actually, but it was
00:14:18.05\00:14:22.54
the truth and everybody
looks at their cell and doesn't
00:14:22.58\00:14:25.88
answer the phone for her
anymore, doesn't want to talk
00:14:25.91\00:14:28.62
with her anymore, but somebody
has to love her enough to
00:14:28.66\00:14:31.33
say, you are always
whining, what's up with that?
00:14:31.36\00:14:35.01
If she is honest with herself,
going back to that first
00:14:35.04\00:14:38.38
step she can look at that
and turn it over to God and
00:14:38.42\00:14:41.72
ask for some wisdom
with that and move on.
00:14:41.76\00:14:44.32
Or even ask her
friend, how can we get together
00:14:44.35\00:14:47.63
and not have me whine?
00:14:47.66\00:14:49.71
I have a friend that says
that she can call me anytime
00:14:49.74\00:14:52.40
she wants to day or
night, I don't care what time.
00:14:52.44\00:14:55.12
I will talk with her as
long as she wants to talk as
00:14:55.15\00:14:57.80
long as it is not negative.
00:14:57.83\00:14:59.93
I have another friend
that I would talk to as long
00:14:59.96\00:15:02.68
as she wants as long,
as she's not gossiping
00:15:02.72\00:15:05.41
about someone else,
because gossip trashes us.
00:15:05.44\00:15:08.06
Raise your hand if you
know what I'm saying, it trashes
00:15:08.10\00:15:11.20
us and we don't even
think that it trashes us.
00:15:11.23\00:15:14.07
And she is the funniest
gossip ever, she is fun.
00:15:14.11\00:15:18.09
She'll say Cheri, guess
what? I so want to say what
00:15:18.12\00:15:21.57
because she is so fun and
when she rags on somebody,
00:15:21.61\00:15:25.02
oh Man she has a
great sense of humor.
00:15:25.06\00:15:27.68
She gets every single detail
just right but it's funny.
00:15:27.71\00:15:31.02
We laugh our head off, we
can laugh about one person
00:15:31.06\00:15:34.33
stuff for an hour.
00:15:34.36\00:15:36.05
But one time when I
left there, I just felt ugly.
00:15:36.08\00:15:39.94
Do you know what I mean?
I felt like this is not good
00:15:39.98\00:15:43.91
for me and I had to break
the friendship off for awhile
00:15:43.94\00:15:47.36
before I could go back to
her and tell her you cannot talk
00:15:47.39\00:15:50.90
about anybody around me
because it is not good for me.
00:15:50.94\00:15:54.11
And I didn't want to tell
her, you're not allowed to
00:15:54.15\00:15:57.61
gossip anymore, but when
you and I are together in this
00:15:57.64\00:16:01.07
friendship,
please it's just ugly.
00:16:01.11\00:16:03.12
So it is that honesty in
an affirming relationship with
00:16:03.15\00:16:06.23
someone and it is not
always easy to do that.
00:16:06.27\00:16:08.99
Sometimes we just walk away
from people rather than tell
00:16:09.02\00:16:11.80
them the truth about themselves.
00:16:11.84\00:16:13.87
Don't walk away, tell them
the truth, or listen to some
00:16:13.91\00:16:16.97
body that tells you the truth.
00:16:17.00\00:16:18.07
Ask people, be honest with
me. Not when you are PMS-ing.
00:16:18.11\00:16:22.59
But be honest with me
and tell me what you see?
00:16:22.62\00:16:26.92
What is up? That is incredible.
00:16:26.95\00:16:29.52
Affirming relationships
can be one to one friendships.
00:16:29.55\00:16:32.20
They can be groups, a
lot of people go to AA and
00:16:32.24\00:16:35.18
celebrate recovery, and
they go to church groups.
00:16:35.22\00:16:38.25
Anywhere they can get
someone to be honest with them.
00:16:38.29\00:16:41.29
Anywhere, so just find that.
00:16:41.32\00:16:43.32
So the other one is right-
thinking, many of us have no
00:16:43.36\00:16:46.76
idea how twisted we
are, absolutely no idea.
00:16:46.80\00:16:50.35
I thought I was thinking
right, and even today there are
00:16:50.39\00:16:54.48
things that come up I
wish I could tell you.
00:16:54.52\00:16:56.64
I can't even tell you one
of them because it's so bad.
00:16:56.67\00:16:59.56
But my daughter is 10 years
old and she wants to play a
00:16:59.60\00:17:02.14
game and we are supposed to
say something bad about each
00:17:02.17\00:17:06.09
other, you are so ugly you
look like a guppy head fish.
00:17:06.12\00:17:10.00
So she is a little kid
and she is saying that.
00:17:10.04\00:17:12.02
You wouldn't believe what
I told her you looked like.
00:17:12.05\00:17:15.70
She said you win. I'm
not playing with you anymore.
00:17:15.73\00:17:19.69
I mean it was something
awful, it was wrong, so wrong.
00:17:19.72\00:17:23.28
So right-thinking, the
only way we are going to find
00:17:23.31\00:17:26.38
right-thinking is if we
actually get into the Word of
00:17:26.41\00:17:29.15
God and some people when
they first come to church the
00:17:29.18\00:17:31.88
Word of God
sounds crazy to them.
00:17:31.91\00:17:34.04
Get into the Word of God
because it will teach you how
00:17:34.07\00:17:37.04
to think right, it will
teach you especially Proverbs,
00:17:37.08\00:17:41.20
any of those where it says
don't lie, think about this
00:17:41.24\00:17:44.82
and all that stuff, there
are all kinds of places where
00:17:44.85\00:17:48.40
it will teach you
what is right and wrong.
00:17:48.44\00:17:49.95
I didn't know, the 10
Commandments, when I learned the
00:17:49.98\00:17:52.25
10 Commandments I was
thinking oh man, I think
00:17:52.29\00:17:54.97
I broke all those today.
00:17:55.00\00:17:57.06
It was just like I would
look at those kind of things
00:17:57.10\00:18:00.57
about lying and stealing
or whatever and I couldn't let
00:18:00.60\00:18:04.04
the offering plate go by in
church, it will go by packed
00:18:04.07\00:18:07.06
with money, I need that money.
00:18:07.10\00:18:09.88
I couldn't let go by and I'm
thinking maybe it's in the back
00:18:09.92\00:18:13.79
and I can sneak in there
while the guys are doing the
00:18:13.82\00:18:16.02
sermon and the pastor
would say something funny
00:18:16.06\00:18:19.05
that could be a
little off colored and
00:18:19.09\00:18:21.10
I would start busting up.
00:18:21.13\00:18:22.38
I would try not to
laugh and then I would look at
00:18:22.41\00:18:24.80
everybody real serious
with their Bible, and they would
00:18:24.84\00:18:27.19
not be laughing, and
I would laugh harder.
00:18:27.22\00:18:29.33
Like I would think am I
ever going to get through this?
00:18:29.37\00:18:31.75
I have gotten
through this, not 100%,
00:18:31.79\00:18:35.00
if you asked my daughter,
my husband they will say no
00:18:35.04\00:18:36.82
don't lie because
I am working on that.
00:18:36.85\00:18:39.22
It is like God will teach
you to untwist and that is
00:18:39.25\00:18:43.09
just the right-thinking.
00:18:43.12\00:18:44.27
The last one, there are
two more I want to talk about.
00:18:44.30\00:18:47.23
I'm going to talk about
them at the end of the show.
00:18:47.27\00:18:50.16
But right now we're
going to break for the
00:18:50.19\00:18:51.80
interview, it is incredible,
recovery is incredible.
00:18:51.84\00:18:55.28
It is so nice to stand up
and know that I am who God
00:18:55.31\00:18:58.72
created me to be, all
the twisted stuff that is
00:18:58.75\00:19:01.74
obvious to me now when
it comes up and I actually
00:19:01.78\00:19:04.74
get to laugh out loud.
00:19:04.77\00:19:06.28
What is really funny,
is that I love who I am.
00:19:06.31\00:19:09.37
I don't mean to sound
in a vain way about that,
00:19:09.41\00:19:12.40
I just love who I am, I
love who my husband is, I love
00:19:12.44\00:19:15.01
who my child is, I love who my
friends are and I can start to
00:19:15.05\00:19:18.96
really appreciate other people.
00:19:19.00\00:19:20.66
I can appreciate their
gifts and what they offer.
00:19:20.69\00:19:22.90
I can now appreciate
myself and what I can offer.
00:19:22.94\00:19:25.37
I definitely appreciate
God and what He offers.
00:19:25.41\00:19:27.80
Stay with us, we
will be right back!
00:19:27.84\00:19:29.56
Think you've seen
it all? Think again.
00:19:34.26\00:19:37.25
Cheri Peters is back
for a second season of
00:19:37.28\00:19:40.98
Celebrating Life In
Recovery with more lives
00:19:41.02\00:19:44.68
more stories and more miracles.
00:19:44.72\00:19:47.74
Watch the shocking,
inspiring, and the incredible.
00:19:47.78\00:19:51.87
Check your local
listings to find out when
00:19:51.91\00:19:54.23
Celebrating Life In
Recovery comes to you and get
00:19:54.26\00:19:57.75
ready for another dose
of reality, Cheri style.
00:19:57.78\00:20:01.23
You know we are
talking about different things,
00:20:16.42\00:20:18.10
Hebrews 4:12-13 says.
00:20:18.13\00:20:20.76
The first time I saw
that I was thinking oh man.
00:20:35.05\00:20:37.22
Don't be judging
my heart right now.
00:20:37.26\00:20:39.06
What was cool about that
is that as I got to know God
00:20:39.09\00:20:42.89
as I got to know who He
is, who I am, what this whole
00:20:42.93\00:20:46.54
thing is about I realized
when God judges our hearts,
00:20:46.58\00:20:50.16
when God looks at all
that stuff is not in the
00:20:50.20\00:20:52.44
same way we judge each other.
00:20:52.47\00:20:54.15
It is a way that the
more He can reveal about us,
00:20:54.18\00:20:57.05
the more I can step into
recovery, so He loves me.
00:20:57.08\00:20:59.88
When He brings something
to the surface, He is bringing
00:20:59.92\00:21:02.34
it to the surface like
Hon, don't be afraid of this.
00:21:02.37\00:21:05.09
Trust Me because when we
get rid of this you will be
00:21:05.13\00:21:07.81
able to be a little bit lighter.
00:21:07.84\00:21:09.79
Your shoulders are
going to come down,
00:21:09.82\00:21:11.19
you are going to be able
to laugh with people more
00:21:11.22\00:21:12.81
honestly those kind of things.
00:21:12.84\00:21:14.70
When God says I knew
everything about you,
00:21:14.73\00:21:16.85
don't be afraid because
He is the safest person ever.
00:21:16.88\00:21:21.52
Universe, Cosmos, all
universes and all that stuff.
00:21:21.56\00:21:26.17
So I'm going to
introduce you to the guests,
00:21:26.20\00:21:27.45
Tara and Kevin, thank you
so much for coming on the show.
00:21:27.48\00:21:30.92
Thanks for having us.
00:21:30.96\00:21:32.49
Kevin you are a camera
guy here, so you work on
00:21:32.52\00:21:37.24
Celebrating Life
In Recovery - yeah.
00:21:37.27\00:21:39.08
- Your favorite show
obviously. - oh totally!
00:21:39.12\00:21:42.65
I don't know if
that's true or not.
00:21:42.69\00:21:46.24
He's got to say
it because I'm here.
00:21:46.28\00:21:49.15
- no, it is my
favorite show actually.
00:21:49.18\00:21:51.99
He definitely likes
it because he comes home
00:21:52.02\00:21:54.71
and tells me all the
stories and I'm like, wow!
00:21:54.74\00:21:57.36
So the first time we met
was here while I was filming
00:21:57.39\00:22:00.80
something and I
heard your testimony.
00:22:00.84\00:22:02.44
I felt like your testimony
so clearly showed how God
00:22:02.48\00:22:06.40
leads us and the stuff we
get into and how He takes us
00:22:06.44\00:22:10.29
into recovery so I begged you to
please come and tell everyone.
00:22:10.33\00:22:15.36
He said yes and I
want to thank you for that.
00:22:15.39\00:22:17.83
Tell them what you told me.
00:22:17.86\00:22:20.86
Well I grew up in an Adventist
home with my mom, my dad,
00:22:20.89\00:22:26.37
and my brother,
and my parents divorced
00:22:26.41\00:22:29.09
when I was about eight.
00:22:29.13\00:22:30.67
My dad was remarried
within six months after that.
00:22:30.70\00:22:33.74
My mom got remarried six
months after that so within one
00:22:33.77\00:22:37.01
year my parents
are split up and both
00:22:37.05\00:22:40.58
remarried to separate people.
00:22:40.61\00:22:42.27
But my mom
married a wonderful guy,
00:22:42.30\00:22:44.39
Jim and he is my
stepfather today.
00:22:44.42\00:22:46.44
My dad however was married
four times so there was never
00:22:46.47\00:22:50.39
any stability in any of
his relationships, in an out of
00:22:50.43\00:22:54.31
stepmothers and
that kind of thing.
00:22:54.35\00:22:56.43
That was really hard,
step brothers, and different
00:22:56.46\00:22:58.44
stepsisters so
it was really hard.
00:22:58.48\00:23:02.20
Growing up in that I became
kind of rebellious, my dad
00:23:02.24\00:23:06.81
wasn't really around.
00:23:06.84\00:23:08.38
So I was with my mom and I
didn't like her at the moment
00:23:08.42\00:23:11.34
I would run away
to my dad's house.
00:23:11.38\00:23:13.21
If I was with my dad I would
run away from him and moved in
00:23:13.24\00:23:17.57
with my mom again, so I
did that frequently until one
00:23:17.60\00:23:22.00
I got into high school.
00:23:22.04\00:23:23.77
Eventually I ran away
for good, I stayed with other
00:23:23.80\00:23:25.84
families, there was
like two different families.
00:23:25.88\00:23:28.38
- when you finally ran
away for good old were you?
00:23:28.42\00:23:30.85
How is a junior in high
school, actually I was probably
00:23:30.89\00:23:34.45
my senior year, probably 17, 18.
00:23:34.49\00:23:38.30
So I ran away and lived
with the family for my senior
00:23:38.33\00:23:42.61
year and then when I did
get into college I would stay
00:23:42.64\00:23:46.85
with a different family, it
was pretty hard moving around.
00:23:46.88\00:23:53.47
I think a lot of people
don't realize that all of a
00:23:53.50\00:23:57.29
sudden, especially Christian
homes, I see this all the time
00:23:57.33\00:23:59.67
where everything is stable,
everything is perfect, and
00:23:59.70\00:24:02.57
you are in church and all
that and then your whole world
00:24:02.61\00:24:05.44
changes and for a child
nothing is real any more.
00:24:05.48\00:24:09.22
Nothing to be trusted,
nobody's going to actually be
00:24:09.25\00:24:12.96
there for me anymore, really.
00:24:13.00\00:24:14.81
So they are acting now,
not that you knew and of that,
00:24:14.84\00:24:18.15
the acting out I
see all the time.
00:24:18.19\00:24:19.98
It is like all of a
sudden everybody is crazy,
00:24:20.02\00:24:21.92
the kids are
crazy they think okay.
00:24:21.96\00:24:24.52
I was really rebellious
and did not want to be
00:24:24.55\00:24:26.62
controlled by
anybody, my parents.
00:24:26.65\00:24:28.34
I didn't want to
be told what to do.
00:24:28.37\00:24:29.99
So that caused me a lot of
trouble, it did because when
00:24:30.02\00:24:35.44
I got into college. - did
you get into drugs or alcohol
00:24:35.47\00:24:40.86
or any of that kind of stuff?
00:24:40.89\00:24:42.11
When I got into college I
got into alcohol and smoking
00:24:42.14\00:24:45.31
the legal stuff called
the stuff we are allowed to do
00:24:45.34\00:24:48.47
but it is not
really good for us anyway.
00:24:48.51\00:24:50.35
I got into that but my
main thing was that I got into a
00:24:50.39\00:24:53.73
lot of relationships, a
lot of different relationships,
00:24:53.77\00:24:56.71
different guys, jumping
around, getting intimate with
00:24:56.74\00:24:59.64
a lot of them.
00:24:59.68\00:25:01.57
And that really burned
me. - trying to fill that up
00:25:01.61\00:25:05.51
I was just so empty and
when I was 21 I got pregnant
00:25:05.55\00:25:09.42
with my first child
and I had a daughter.
00:25:09.45\00:25:11.89
But it was while because I
was 21 and I thought hey I'm
00:25:11.93\00:25:15.71
doing good because there is
some people they get pregnant
00:25:15.75\00:25:19.60
at 13, or 12 and I was 21
so I'm doing so much better.
00:25:19.64\00:25:24.09
And I wasn't really seeing
that I was really deep in sin.
00:25:24.12\00:25:28.54
I was so far from God
and doing my own thing.
00:25:28.58\00:25:30.91
So I got pregnant and had
my daughter and I thought to
00:25:30.94\00:25:35.33
myself, if I'm going to
have this child I need to take
00:25:35.37\00:25:39.72
care of her and I
need to go back to school.
00:25:39.75\00:25:41.27
So I went back to school
and did nursing and I graduated.
00:25:41.31\00:25:45.57
After I graduated, she was
about 18 months old, we moved
00:25:45.61\00:25:49.43
to Maryland where my dad
was because I wanted to rekindle
00:25:49.46\00:25:53.25
a relationship with him.
00:25:53.28\00:25:55.25
So we move down there,
and at the time he was single.
00:25:55.28\00:25:59.28
- so where you still in your
relationship addictions were
00:25:59.31\00:26:03.27
you still doing all that stuff?
00:26:03.31\00:26:04.58
Well actually I couldn't
because nursing was so intense.
00:26:04.62\00:26:08.46
So I couldn't at that point
in my life I did need a man
00:26:08.49\00:26:12.29
anyway, too much for me anyway.
00:26:12.33\00:26:15.16
But one I'm moved to Maryland
and got my first job it came
00:26:15.19\00:26:19.53
back, I started dating
around in the hospital and there
00:26:19.56\00:26:23.87
was there was one guy I
dated that was married and
00:26:23.90\00:26:25.90
I didn't care, I didn't care.
00:26:25.93\00:26:27.59
Fooling around with them
outside in the parking lot,
00:26:27.63\00:26:31.37
in the car, that kind of thing.
00:26:31.40\00:26:33.12
There was a guy that I
dated that was twice my age.
00:26:33.16\00:26:37.64
I just what to say Tara,
because sometimes when somebody
00:26:37.68\00:26:43.36
says that there will be a
feeling that someone is going
00:26:43.40\00:26:49.05
to judge you,
right? - absolutely.
00:26:49.09\00:26:51.37
Absolutely so it is hard
to say, but I want to say out
00:26:51.41\00:26:54.80
loud, because I've been
through that, I was that girl
00:26:54.84\00:26:58.97
and worse and I want to say
that it is so sad for me now
00:26:59.01\00:27:03.10
when I look at
behaviors like that.
00:27:03.14\00:27:04.66
I know that that person is
so lost, so lost, trying to
00:27:04.70\00:27:08.72
find love anywhere and I
think in God's eyes, God is
00:27:08.75\00:27:12.23
never judging, God is
just saying Hon find it in Me,
00:27:12.26\00:27:15.70
find it in Me.
00:27:15.74\00:27:17.34
But you were out of
control still? - right!
00:27:17.38\00:27:20.43
And what is really sad is
with people not staying and it
00:27:20.47\00:27:24.02
happened over and over
and over so the search and the
00:27:24.06\00:27:27.54
desperation for a relationship
gets more and more intense.
00:27:27.58\00:27:30.51
Right, the only thing that
was getting me through this
00:27:30.54\00:27:33.44
interview is knowing
that I might be helping
00:27:33.47\00:27:35.88
somebody come to Christ.
00:27:35.91\00:27:37.95
Going through all that,
and Kevin works here 3ABN so I.
00:27:37.98\00:27:42.59
- You don't
what to say all this.
00:27:42.62\00:27:45.04
No surprises here.
00:27:45.07\00:27:46.99
Absolutely there is
someone out there that is going
00:27:47.03\00:27:51.25
through what I went through,
they can know that they can
00:27:51.28\00:27:54.49
find peace in Christ.
00:27:54.53\00:27:56.15
- and God loves you,
absolutely. And I love you.
00:27:56.18\00:28:00.22
So that is why a lot of
people do not realize that some
00:28:00.25\00:28:05.13
of the stuff is hard to say.
00:28:05.17\00:28:06.44
One time when I asked God,
I said what do I cover when
00:28:06.48\00:28:10.08
I cover interviews on my story?
00:28:10.12\00:28:12.08
God said if you're not going
to cover it all, don't cover
00:28:12.12\00:28:14.43
any, and I thought why is that?
00:28:14.47\00:28:16.14
Because I don't want to tell
anybody all the stuff I did.
00:28:16.18\00:28:18.91
He said, it's like the
demoniac in the Bible, the guy
00:28:18.95\00:28:21.29
foaming at the mouth,
filled with a thousand demons,
00:28:21.33\00:28:23.92
angry and cutting on
himself and beating people up.
00:28:23.96\00:28:26.55
If he would have went back
to town after Jesus said go
00:28:26.58\00:28:29.03
tell them what happened,
tell them what I did for you.
00:28:29.06\00:28:31.66
If he went back to town and
said you know I had a little
00:28:31.70\00:28:34.26
problem with anger,
get out, he was a mess.
00:28:34.30\00:28:38.31
God had to intervene for
this guy to survive or he would
00:28:38.35\00:28:42.32
have killed and
injured more people.
00:28:42.36\00:28:44.34
So you were a mess,
obviously a mess and emotionally
00:28:44.38\00:28:47.91
and empty trying to find
some thing that was going to
00:28:47.94\00:28:51.44
stay with you,
somebody that stay with you.
00:28:51.47\00:28:54.57
And it wasn't happening,
but the funny thing is that I
00:28:54.61\00:28:59.30
grew up in the church so I
should have known how I could
00:28:59.33\00:29:03.99
have turned to God. -
did you just say that?
00:29:04.02\00:29:07.96
Let me just say one thing,
the divorce you were how old?
00:29:07.99\00:29:12.50
I was eight. - 8 years old
you should have been able to
00:29:12.54\00:29:16.30
process all that kind of
stuff, the abandonment stuff.
00:29:16.34\00:29:19.39
If you watched a film about
a little girl eight years old
00:29:19.42\00:29:22.66
going through all that,
you would cry for her, yet for
00:29:22.70\00:29:25.98
ourselves we demand that we
somehow we figure it out and
00:29:26.01\00:29:29.19
don't mess up, I should have
known, I had all this truth.
00:29:29.22\00:29:32.36
You know what? Truth
means nothing when you are in
00:29:32.39\00:29:35.29
emotional pain
and have been trashed.
00:29:35.33\00:29:36.91
So one thing I want you to
get clear is that you don't
00:29:36.94\00:29:39.90
know anything at eight
other than my whole world has
00:29:39.93\00:29:42.86
changed and
nothing is real anymore.
00:29:42.89\00:29:46.16
Four marriages with your dad,
so your dad obviously didn't
00:29:46.20\00:29:49.77
have a lot of time for you.
00:29:49.81\00:29:51.29
So the men in your life
were not there and all that
00:29:51.33\00:29:53.39
stuff, I didn't mean
shut up you know I didn't.
00:29:53.42\00:29:56.06
You know I love
you. Right absolutely!
00:29:56.10\00:29:59.30
I should've known
growing up in the church that
00:29:59.34\00:30:02.85
I should've gone to Christ,
I should've gone to God to
00:30:02.89\00:30:06.02
help heal that, all that
pain that I was feeling but
00:30:06.06\00:30:09.16
being at that
point I didn't know.
00:30:09.20\00:30:11.72
I should have
known, but I didn't know.
00:30:11.76\00:30:13.57
Your parents should have
known and stayed together.
00:30:13.60\00:30:19.08
No I'm sorry,
somebody should have known.
00:30:19.12\00:30:22.26
So you are in the hospital,
you've had your first child,
00:30:22.29\00:30:26.24
you're in a relationship
with a married guy, did that
00:30:26.28\00:30:30.19
last? - no, no it didn't last.
00:30:30.23\00:30:34.55
I don't know if you fell
in love during that time or
00:30:34.58\00:30:37.47
you thought you
had fallen in love.
00:30:37.50\00:30:39.43
I did, Lucy was about 2
and 1/2 and I met a guy.
00:30:39.47\00:30:42.89
I was working in hospital
and he was a correctional
00:30:42.92\00:30:46.31
officer, one of my
patients was an inmate.
00:30:46.34\00:30:49.16
So I met him that way
and he asked me out on a date
00:30:49.20\00:30:53.77
and I felt woo hoo.
00:30:53.80\00:30:55.46
You scared me I thought you
fell in love with the inmate
00:30:55.49\00:30:56.78
and I was oh no that's terrible.
00:30:56.82\00:30:59.32
No he was a correctional
officer, and I really did,
00:30:59.35\00:31:03.12
I fell in love with him
and he had asked me out.
00:31:03.16\00:31:07.44
I went out with this guy
and within the first month
00:31:07.47\00:31:11.72
I got pregnant
again, so here I am.
00:31:11.75\00:31:14.29
I'm still single, I'm
not married and I have nobody
00:31:14.32\00:31:17.61
who has any kind
of commitment to me.
00:31:17.64\00:31:19.90
This guy could have
walked, which he did eventually.
00:31:19.93\00:31:23.62
But I had a 2 and 1/2
year old and I was pregnant.
00:31:23.66\00:31:28.04
This relationship just
wasn't turning out the way
00:31:28.07\00:31:32.41
I thought it was going to be.
00:31:32.45\00:31:33.53
He said that he loved me
and wanted to marry me and all
00:31:33.56\00:31:36.89
those good things I
wanted to hear, right?
00:31:36.92\00:31:38.56
I wanted that hole to be
filled so I wanted somebody
00:31:38.60\00:31:42.12
to love me and he was
saying all those things.
00:31:42.15\00:31:44.43
So I thought it was going
to happen and we were going
00:31:44.47\00:31:47.23
to get married, but he wanted
to take me to Vegas to get
00:31:47.27\00:31:50.00
married, which I found
out later the reason why.
00:31:50.03\00:31:52.35
So anyway I wanted to break
up with him because I thought
00:31:52.39\00:31:56.05
he is not following through
with anything he is saying.
00:31:56.08\00:31:59.91
It is hurting me, and my
mom met him and she was saying
00:31:59.95\00:32:02.85
you really need to work
things out with this guy because
00:32:02.88\00:32:05.74
you are pregnant and you
have a little one and your
00:32:05.78\00:32:08.86
by yourself, you
really need to work it out.
00:32:08.90\00:32:11.00
So I thought, okay
we'll give him a chance.
00:32:11.03\00:32:13.06
I had an ultrasound planned,
I was five months pregnant
00:32:13.10\00:32:16.65
at this point and I told
him I have an ultrasound planned
00:32:16.68\00:32:20.20
would you want to go with me?
00:32:20.23\00:32:21.44
He said yeah
absolutely I'll go with you.
00:32:21.48\00:32:22.97
Well at this time, and on
this day and he was supposed
00:32:23.00\00:32:28.29
to meet me at my
house and he didn't show up.
00:32:28.33\00:32:30.17
- did you wait? I was
waiting, I was waiting for him.
00:32:30.21\00:32:33.61
You know, before I left I
was thinking I have to cut this
00:32:33.65\00:32:37.02
off because it was
hurting me too much.
00:32:37.05\00:32:38.81
So I called his cell
phone and left this message.
00:32:38.85\00:32:41.86
I said you don't care about
me and you don't care about
00:32:41.90\00:32:44.97
the baby, a so
just leave us alone.
00:32:45.01\00:32:47.22
At that point my life was
a mess because I was hurting.
00:32:47.25\00:32:51.88
I really loved this guy
and I was pregnant again.
00:32:51.91\00:32:55.37
So I reached out to the
Lord, like Lord I know I am
00:32:55.40\00:32:58.82
making a mess of my
life and I don't know what
00:32:58.86\00:33:00.78
I'm supposed to
do, what should I do,
00:33:00.81\00:33:02.70
tell me what I should do?
00:33:02.73\00:33:04.16
Talk to me, I really need
to hear Your voice and tell me
00:33:04.20\00:33:07.11
what I should do this time.
00:33:07.15\00:33:08.61
Within two days of praying that
prayer I came home from work
00:33:08.64\00:33:13.07
and there was a message
on my answering machine.
00:33:13.10\00:33:15.50
It was a woman's voice
whom I had never heard before.
00:33:15.54\00:33:18.65
She said that she was
looking for Tara because she was
00:33:18.69\00:33:21.77
pregnant with her
husband's child. - oh stop!
00:33:21.80\00:33:24.95
At this point I don't remember
anything else that happened
00:33:24.98\00:33:28.70
on the message because at
that point I was hysterical.
00:33:28.74\00:33:32.43
But the Lord answered my prayer.
00:33:32.46\00:33:35.38
That goes back to the
honesty thing, God got you to a
00:33:35.42\00:33:39.81
place where you can finally
look at your life and say man,
00:33:39.84\00:33:41.90
what am I doing?
00:33:41.94\00:33:43.54
The fact that he was married,
I can hardly believe that
00:33:43.57\00:33:46.59
when you said that I'm
thinking, oh stop, just stop!
00:33:46.62\00:33:49.60
So what happened with that?
00:33:49.64\00:33:51.07
Did you totally
turn it over to God?
00:33:51.11\00:33:54.17
Did you just beg
Him, don't even let me do
00:33:54.21\00:33:56.94
anything myself anymore?
00:33:56.98\00:33:58.93
At that point I broke it
off, of course he told his wife
00:33:58.96\00:34:04.02
that I was a crazy girl
and it only happened one time.
00:34:04.06\00:34:09.09
He said a whole
bunch of things about me.
00:34:09.12\00:34:10.97
- she's stalking me. -and
that's exactly what he said and
00:34:11.01\00:34:13.89
it was funny
because I had met her.
00:34:13.92\00:34:16.33
She had come up to meet me
she said you know you're not
00:34:16.36\00:34:19.96
even his type, he
doesn't like white girls.
00:34:19.99\00:34:22.58
He was Hispanic and made me
feel pretty good, because if
00:34:22.62\00:34:26.78
he's not going to like
white girl at least he liked me.
00:34:26.81\00:34:30.93
Right? - right!
00:34:30.97\00:34:32.40
After that I broke up with
him and here I am still with
00:34:32.43\00:34:37.03
a 2 and 1/2 year old daughter,
five months pregnant and
00:34:37.06\00:34:40.70
I got evicted from my
apartment because at that point
00:34:40.73\00:34:44.70
I was having financial
problems and I got evicted.
00:34:44.73\00:34:48.62
My dad had got remarried
for the fourth time and his wife
00:34:48.66\00:34:54.97
didn't want me
living there with children.
00:34:55.01\00:34:57.15
I bumped up with a friend,
well not really even a friend.
00:34:57.19\00:35:02.53
She was more of an
acquaintance from work.
00:35:02.57\00:35:04.93
I stayed there for a couple
of weeks and finally the Lord
00:35:04.96\00:35:09.86
was impressing me you
need to go home to your mom.
00:35:09.89\00:35:13.08
Were you praying? During
that couple of weeks were you
00:35:13.12\00:35:16.28
just saying
what's going on? - yeah.
00:35:16.31\00:35:18.25
My life is totally a mess
and I didn't know what to do.
00:35:18.28\00:35:21.20
I think Lord will can
I do? What shall I do?
00:35:21.23\00:35:24.64
I wanted to stay at my
job because I felt like I was
00:35:24.67\00:35:27.41
doing good, so I
didn't want to quit.
00:35:27.45\00:35:29.54
- somewhere I'm
doing the right thing.
00:35:29.57\00:35:31.59
I didn't want to quit
and I thought if I quit then
00:35:31.63\00:35:35.28
I would be a quitter all
my life, but the Lord was
00:35:35.31\00:35:38.93
really impressing me to go home.
00:35:38.96\00:35:40.35
That was where my
security was with my mom and my
00:35:40.39\00:35:43.71
stepfather and I did.
00:35:43.75\00:35:45.50
I moved back home and I
had my son Garrett in May.
00:35:45.53\00:35:49.52
For some crazy reason
after I had him I felt that
00:35:49.56\00:35:53.68
I needed to inform the
father that he was born.
00:35:53.72\00:35:57.77
So I called him and said I had
the baby, and then it started
00:35:57.81\00:36:02.72
all over, I love you, I'm
going to come see the baby.
00:36:02.75\00:36:06.07
I'm so vulnerable at this point.
00:36:06.11\00:36:08.24
I'm single and I had two
kids now, but I wanted him
00:36:08.28\00:36:13.32
back, I'm so crazy.
00:36:13.36\00:36:15.58
The guy was married and I
knew it and all the things
00:36:15.61\00:36:18.40
he said about me and yet
he told me he loved me so
00:36:18.43\00:36:21.18
I wanted to have him back.
00:36:21.22\00:36:23.30
Let me just bring a break-in
because the lot of people
00:36:23.33\00:36:25.82
will say why do women go back?
00:36:25.85\00:36:27.30
Why do we
continuously get abused?
00:36:27.34\00:36:29.15
The only person I can
say that it's somebody that
00:36:29.19\00:36:32.26
doesn't realize how
empty and alone and abandoned
00:36:32.30\00:36:35.16
child feels and that is
the only person that can say
00:36:35.20\00:36:38.03
why did you want him back.
00:36:38.06\00:36:39.55
Because for me I couldn't
believe the different people
00:36:39.58\00:36:42.27
I had in my life, and as
long as you said I love you,
00:36:42.30\00:36:44.79
you could do anything,
you could abuse me in anyway
00:36:44.82\00:36:47.28
because I so needed to be loved.
00:36:47.31\00:36:49.61
I didn't know what love felt
like because I had never met
00:36:49.65\00:36:52.66
God and so right now you
are saying, I just need to be
00:36:52.69\00:36:55.49
loved and I'm scared, I'm
alone and I had these babies.
00:36:55.52\00:36:59.53
He did, he told me everything
that I wanted to hear.
00:36:59.56\00:37:03.54
He promised he was
going to come up and visit.
00:37:03.57\00:37:06.89
Here we go again I'm waiting, he
is coming to see me and the baby
00:37:06.92\00:37:14.02
and he didn't show up.
00:37:14.06\00:37:15.38
Okay so I forgave him
again, well you know something
00:37:15.42\00:37:20.68
happened and he would find
really elaborate things to tell
00:37:20.72\00:37:23.67
me come like why
he couldn't come.
00:37:23.71\00:37:25.26
Why he didn't show up,
so okay I forgave him again.
00:37:25.29\00:37:31.14
Two months after
that, in July when he was
00:37:31.17\00:37:34.03
supposed to come up again to
a girlfriend's wedding with me.
00:37:34.06\00:37:37.22
You know he just
did not show up again.
00:37:37.26\00:37:40.53
It was again and my mom
finally said, Tara you need to
00:37:40.56\00:37:44.04
dust your feet and walk on.
00:37:44.07\00:37:45.88
And that was the Lord, I
feel that the Lord uses people
00:37:45.92\00:37:49.26
to like to say things to
us, that was the Lord saying
00:37:49.29\00:37:52.60
that through my mom.
00:37:52.64\00:37:54.04
When you go back to affirm
a relationship should have to
00:37:54.08\00:37:56.27
have somebody around you
to be honest and say you know
00:37:56.31\00:37:58.46
you are acting
like nut, don't do it.
00:37:58.50\00:38:01.80
Don't wait for him,
this guy is not a good guy.
00:38:01.84\00:38:04.58
As much as that hurts
somebody that has put all their
00:38:04.61\00:38:08.14
hopes on a relationship,
is you have to somehow shake
00:38:08.18\00:38:11.67
them, I love
you, dust your feet.
00:38:11.70\00:38:14.21
She told me Tara,
he doesn't love you.
00:38:14.24\00:38:16.20
When she said that I was
like Man, you know he doesn't.
00:38:16.23\00:38:19.62
If he did he would be here.
00:38:19.65\00:38:21.45
So okay I go on with my
life, my son is three months old
00:38:21.48\00:38:25.47
and I go back to work.
00:38:25.50\00:38:26.76
I think Garret was maybe 7 or 9
months around that time period.
00:38:26.79\00:38:33.40
And the guy
calls me at work. - no!
00:38:33.43\00:38:35.33
Just out of the blue. -
somebody has to shoot this guy.
00:38:35.37\00:38:39.15
No I'm sorry, is that
recovery? Alright I'm sorry.
00:38:39.19\00:38:43.20
So he calls me at work
and he was like Hi Tara, and
00:38:43.24\00:38:47.22
I knew right off
the bat who it was.
00:38:47.26\00:38:50.39
He said do you know who
this is, and I said yeah.
00:38:50.42\00:38:52.69
He goes who? I go Hector.
00:38:52.73\00:38:55.02
He said yes, how are you?
00:38:55.06\00:38:57.29
And I'm thinking
shut up, are you kidding?
00:38:57.32\00:39:00.13
- what did you say,
you probably said fine.
00:39:00.17\00:39:02.91
No, I actually said at
this point what do you want?
00:39:02.95\00:39:07.29
What do you want, so he
wanted to see how I was doing.
00:39:07.33\00:39:11.40
He wanted to see how the
baby was and it was ironic that
00:39:11.43\00:39:14.65
he knew I worked there,
he had called my home first.
00:39:14.69\00:39:17.91
At that point I had gotten
my own apartment and my mom
00:39:17.95\00:39:21.14
was home watching the
kids and she talked to him.
00:39:21.18\00:39:23.58
So he had went through her
first, and she said you haven't
00:39:23.62\00:39:26.74
sent a dime Dah, Dah, and these
children, blah, blah, blah.
00:39:26.77\00:39:29.48
She put him through the
ringer, - everything that moms
00:39:29.52\00:39:32.19
are supposed to say.
00:39:32.23\00:39:33.69
- absolutely and he still
calls me at work, for what
00:39:33.72\00:39:36.84
reason I don't know.
00:39:36.87\00:39:38.42
Anyway he was going to
come up again and at this point
00:39:38.45\00:39:41.98
I knew he wasn't going to
come, so when he called to
00:39:42.02\00:39:45.29
tell me I'm not coming,
or you know my mom is in the
00:39:45.32\00:39:48.56
hospital, that was
the excuse this time, my
00:39:48.59\00:39:50.52
mom was in the hospital.
00:39:50.55\00:39:52.08
I said, you know I
don't want you in my life,
00:39:52.12\00:39:55.51
and Garret doesn't want you
in his life, we don't need you.
00:39:55.54\00:39:58.36
But what I really should
have said was you need Jesus
00:39:58.39\00:40:00.40
because he needed something.
00:40:00.43\00:40:04.19
I don't know what he was
looking for, but I wasn't at
00:40:04.22\00:40:08.12
that point, I was
at the point where
00:40:08.16\00:40:09.88
you're not going to hurt me.
00:40:09.91\00:40:11.15
- what I would like to
find out is when did you get to
00:40:11.19\00:40:13.24
that point? Because
I'm done with Hector.
00:40:13.28\00:40:15.42
I am so done with that
guy, so when did you get to that
00:40:15.46\00:40:21.39
point, when did you finally
say God I need some insight.
00:40:21.43\00:40:27.32
I need some
change, I cannot do this?
00:40:27.36\00:40:30.54
When did you get back
to church, any of that.
00:40:30.57\00:40:34.11
Well I was, when I moved
back to Massachusetts I was
00:40:34.14\00:40:37.44
going back to
church. - with your mom?
00:40:37.47\00:40:38.75
With my family yes,
my mom and my stepfather.
00:40:38.79\00:40:40.84
I think the first time I
reached out to the Lord was when
00:40:40.87\00:40:44.10
he didn't show up for the
ultrasound, like the first time.
00:40:44.14\00:40:48.23
Then after I had Garret the
first few times he was going
00:40:48.26\00:40:52.96
to come up and then he gave
me a time where the Lord was
00:40:52.99\00:40:57.66
really working it out for me.
00:40:57.69\00:40:59.11
You know time heals, so
that time being away from him,
00:40:59.15\00:41:03.75
it started to heal me.
00:41:03.79\00:41:06.57
So the third time when he
called me I knew at that point,
00:41:06.61\00:41:10.54
I knew he is not going to
be anything that I need him to
00:41:10.58\00:41:14.47
be or want him to be.
00:41:14.51\00:41:16.10
It was really changing for
me, but the Lord really was
00:41:16.13\00:41:21.32
working it out for me.
00:41:21.36\00:41:22.60
When I was at work too,
it was the devil tempting me
00:41:22.63\00:41:26.29
or the Lord testing me
because I had guys asking me out
00:41:26.33\00:41:30.15
from work, and at that point
I said hey I'm a single mom
00:41:30.19\00:41:33.41
and I've got two kids and I
need to be selective this time.
00:41:33.45\00:41:36.64
Okay Tara get your act
together, you need a guy,
00:41:36.67\00:41:39.91
you need a man to
bring Christ into your life.
00:41:39.94\00:41:43.10
- so I'm looking for a
Christian man, somebody that
00:41:43.14\00:41:48.14
actually has it
together more than the people
00:41:48.17\00:41:51.00
I have been choosing?
00:41:51.04\00:41:52.32
Exactly, and there was
a doctor at the hospital.
00:41:52.36\00:41:55.70
He didn't wear a ring or
anything and he said to me one
00:41:55.73\00:41:59.07
day we should
really go out for a drink.
00:41:59.11\00:42:02.46
I didn't drink but I
thought to myself, I'm trying to
00:42:02.49\00:42:05.64
make excuses, so I thought
maybe I should go out with him
00:42:05.67\00:42:08.78
and find out who he is.
00:42:08.82\00:42:10.42
I felt like the Lord
impressed me to ask him
00:42:10.45\00:42:15.18
if he was married?
00:42:15.22\00:42:16.37
Now why would a
married man ask someone out?
00:42:16.40\00:42:19.99
So I said to
him, are you married?
00:42:20.02\00:42:22.57
Said, ahh yeah. I said
what? I can't go out with you.
00:42:22.60\00:42:26.79
He was like oh no,
no, no, just friends.
00:42:26.82\00:42:29.30
It was like I was an idiot,
so for the first time I was
00:42:29.33\00:42:34.32
able to stand up for
myself. - good thought! - yeah.
00:42:34.35\00:42:39.30
- it's about time.
00:42:39.33\00:42:41.69
But then he says to me,
oh no just friends so I felt
00:42:41.72\00:42:44.90
like an idiot, but I was
like no I'm not going to get
00:42:44.93\00:42:48.08
played again, I'm not.
00:42:48.11\00:42:49.53
You know we talk about as
God steps us, it is really
00:42:49.56\00:42:53.94
so subtle but God steps
us to give us skills and you
00:42:53.97\00:42:57.68
really needed to learn
how to say no to somebody.
00:42:57.72\00:43:01.39
Even though you
wanted to be loved.
00:43:01.42\00:43:04.33
I want a man in my life, I
want my kids to have a father.
00:43:04.36\00:43:07.32
All that kind of stuff but
this guy, as good as he looked,
00:43:07.35\00:43:10.81
it was the devil in disguise,
he was Hector's interview.
00:43:10.84\00:43:14.26
Yeah exactly. At
this point I was done.
00:43:14.30\00:43:19.21
I was done with the bad
guys and I was done messing
00:43:19.24\00:43:22.06
around and I decided
that I was going to keep going
00:43:22.09\00:43:24.87
to church for my
children and for myself.
00:43:24.91\00:43:27.56
I needed that relationship
with the Lord and I dedicated
00:43:27.59\00:43:31.28
myself at that point to my
children and to bring them up
00:43:31.32\00:43:34.97
in our faith so I
kept going to church.
00:43:35.00\00:43:38.14
I was hoping that the
Lord was going to send somebody
00:43:38.17\00:43:42.64
to me, but I didn't know.
00:43:42.68\00:43:44.04
But I just kept going and
hoping and trusting that He
00:43:44.08\00:43:47.77
would bring somebody to me.
00:43:47.80\00:43:49.33
So one Sabbath I was sitting
in the back row with the kids
00:43:49.36\00:43:53.01
because sometimes
they get a little rowdy and
00:43:53.05\00:43:55.35
I can slip out the back door.
00:43:55.39\00:43:57.07
So I was sitting there
in the service had started.
00:43:57.11\00:44:00.04
In comes a latecomer
into the back door and so.
00:44:00.07\00:44:02.96
- is that you late again?
00:44:03.00\00:44:05.12
I'm always on time.
00:44:05.16\00:44:06.70
I turned around and I saw
him and we had gone to AUC
00:44:06.74\00:44:10.61
together, Atlantic Union
College, up in Massachusetts.
00:44:10.64\00:44:14.48
We knew of each other
- so that was years ago?
00:44:14.51\00:44:18.59
- It was like
five years earlier.
00:44:18.63\00:44:19.93
Yeah it was five years earlier.
00:44:19.97\00:44:21.20
We weren't friends, we
just knew of each other.
00:44:21.24\00:44:25.80
I thought to
myself, hey I know him.
00:44:25.84\00:44:28.50
I always thought she
was cute, because I remember
00:44:28.54\00:44:30.89
she was in my English class.
00:44:30.92\00:44:32.97
So I remember that part.
00:44:33.01\00:44:34.99
So after the service he
came over to talk to me and
00:44:35.02\00:44:40.17
I went and talked to him
and I felt like it was the Holy
00:44:40.21\00:44:43.74
Spirit because I didn't
know him and his name rolled off
00:44:43.78\00:44:47.28
my tongue, oh
you are Kevin right?
00:44:47.31\00:44:48.96
He knew my name, he
said oh, you are Tara right?
00:44:48.99\00:44:51.81
- that's too funny, so even
though he was late you really
00:44:51.84\00:44:55.48
were right on
time? - perfect timing.
00:44:55.52\00:44:57.59
God's timing, it was awesome.
00:44:57.62\00:45:00.67
So you guys
obviously fell in love?
00:45:00.70\00:45:03.35
Well I didn't know if it was
going to happen because at that
00:45:03.38\00:45:07.21
point, we start talking and
I said to myself I like him.
00:45:07.25\00:45:10.80
I like talking to him, he
seems like he has his head on
00:45:10.84\00:45:13.55
his shoulders and he came
to church so that's a good
00:45:13.58\00:45:16.26
point, but all of a
sudden he bolted and said,
00:45:16.29\00:45:19.09
I got to go and
he goes out the door.
00:45:19.13\00:45:21.36
I thought all man
nothings going to happen.
00:45:21.40\00:45:23.74
So the next week I was having
trouble with my three-year-
00:45:23.77\00:45:27.31
old, you know they say
terrible twos, it's not really
00:45:27.35\00:45:30.80
twos it's threes because at
that point they are talking,
00:45:30.83\00:45:33.66
they know what they want,
and they want to be independent
00:45:33.69\00:45:36.48
and not do what you say.
00:45:36.51\00:45:38.20
I was having trouble with
this child and I was on the bed
00:45:38.24\00:45:42.46
and pleading with the Lord
and I was crying because I had
00:45:42.49\00:45:46.68
been a single mom for
almost 4 years, and I said
00:45:46.71\00:45:49.16
Lord I want to be a good
mom, can you send somebody into
00:45:49.19\00:45:53.25
my life to help
me with this child?
00:45:53.29\00:45:55.11
Can you send somebody
that's going to love me and love
00:45:55.14\00:45:57.54
them and that will help
bring Christ into our lives,
00:45:57.58\00:46:01.08
can You send somebody?
00:46:01.11\00:46:02.35
I'm crying to read
Child guidance you know.
00:46:02.38\00:46:06.04
- sent me some help will You?
00:46:06.07\00:46:08.35
I'm saying I can't do
that, I don't know what to do.
00:46:08.39\00:46:12.15
Can You just
explain it or write it out
00:46:12.19\00:46:14.18
ABC, you need to do this.
00:46:14.21\00:46:16.32
That book is awesome
but it was generalized.
00:46:16.36\00:46:20.17
But I said I need instruction.
00:46:20.20\00:46:23.01
I need to know what I
have to do with this child.
00:46:23.05\00:46:25.62
That day, since I
didn't go to church.
00:46:25.65\00:46:28.53
- it's actually
an interesting story.
00:46:28.57\00:46:31.38
The week before she said I
kind of bolted in the middle
00:46:31.42\00:46:34.35
the conversation, I
had been done looking for
00:46:34.38\00:46:36.79
relationships at that point.
00:46:36.83\00:46:37.80
I have been with a girl,
a great girl for five years.
00:46:37.83\00:46:41.31
We just couldn't work
out certain issues in our
00:46:41.35\00:46:43.14
relationship, so we ended
that and that was a five year
00:46:43.18\00:46:46.17
relationship, it is a long time.
00:46:46.20\00:46:48.50
It had been quite a while
after that, and of course I got
00:46:48.53\00:46:51.35
to the point again where
wanted to be with someone but
00:46:51.39\00:46:53.99
I got so tired of the whole
looking for the right woman
00:46:54.02\00:46:56.59
thing, it was sickening me.
00:46:56.63\00:46:58.26
I said you know God, every
time I look I end up with the
00:46:58.29\00:47:01.24
wrong woman, every time I
don't look people are telling me
00:47:01.27\00:47:03.98
you need to go out and look
so I finally left it to God.
00:47:04.01\00:47:06.68
If You're going to
bring somebody into my life,
00:47:06.72\00:47:08.50
it's going to be all You.
00:47:08.53\00:47:09.76
So when we were in the
middle of a conversation it
00:47:09.80\00:47:11.62
occurred to me that once
again it was the same looking.
00:47:11.66\00:47:15.07
So I chopped conversation
off, and said I you know what?
00:47:15.11\00:47:18.13
I'll leave now because if you're
going to work it out Lord,
00:47:18.17\00:47:21.15
it will be all You.
00:47:21.19\00:47:22.36
So that is why I cut the
conversation off, it was like
00:47:22.40\00:47:24.56
was nice seeing
you bye and I took off.
00:47:24.60\00:47:25.99
- that is too funny.
00:47:26.03\00:47:28.01
I wanted it to be the
Lord, I did want it to be of my
00:47:28.04\00:47:30.07
making, so any way a
week later on Sabbath,
00:47:30.10\00:47:33.85
I have usually gone to
New York on occasions on the
00:47:33.88\00:47:37.93
weekend because my
family is in New York.
00:47:37.96\00:47:39.45
So I was driving my BMW
to New York but I decided
00:47:39.49\00:47:43.69
to leave real
early in the morning
00:47:43.73\00:47:45.13
so I can get to
New York on time.
00:47:45.17\00:47:46.51
I couldn't pack early on
Friday night so I was going
00:47:46.54\00:47:49.24
to get there on
time to make it to church
00:47:49.28\00:47:50.42
all the way into New York.
00:47:50.45\00:47:51.55
So I'm cruising and almost
ready to get on the highway
00:47:51.59\00:47:53.98
and I get pulled
over by this cop.
00:47:54.02\00:47:55.37
Now I have gone to Southern
College in Tennessee for a
00:47:55.41\00:47:57.65
while and I still
have my Tennessee license.
00:47:57.69\00:47:59.61
Of course I had for so long
that you can barely read the
00:47:59.65\00:48:02.31
numbers on it, so after
the cop finally figured out the
00:48:02.35\00:48:04.98
numbers on the license
plate he ran it and apparently
00:48:05.02\00:48:07.24
my license had
expired like the year before.
00:48:07.28\00:48:09.15
Oops, and the other
problem was apparently my BMW
00:48:09.19\00:48:12.98
inspection sticker
was bad which I well knew.
00:48:13.01\00:48:16.50
But I was driving it
anyway and apparently the
00:48:16.54\00:48:19.63
registration for the
car had expired also.
00:48:19.67\00:48:22.69
And apparently I had some
other tickets up in Vermont.
00:48:22.73\00:48:26.02
- apparently you must've
just escaped from prison and
00:48:26.06\00:48:29.32
they are looking for me.
00:48:29.35\00:48:30.76
It's like man, you
have a lot of apparentley's.
00:48:30.79\00:48:33.20
So this whole thing
comes crashing down and the cop
00:48:33.24\00:48:35.50
basically ended up on the
side of the highway, right
00:48:35.53\00:48:37.76
before you get on the
highway with my luggage and they
00:48:37.79\00:48:40.18
towed the car and impounded
the car and I'm sitting along
00:48:40.21\00:48:42.56
the side of the
highway. - praise the Lord!
00:48:42.59\00:48:44.11
God was working this
whole thing out and I was angry.
00:48:44.14\00:48:46.86
I thought this Sabbath is
going to be absolutely ruined.
00:48:46.90\00:48:49.61
But the cop let me use his
phone so I called my friend
00:48:49.64\00:48:52.28
Ross, and he picked me
up and brought me back home.
00:48:52.32\00:48:54.97
When he was dropping me
off I thought I'm not going to
00:48:55.00\00:48:57.33
let this run my Sabbath,
I'm not going to ruin the
00:48:57.36\00:48:59.66
Lord's day so I said just
drop me off at church and I'll
00:48:59.69\00:49:02.03
let the Lord
figure out how I get home.
00:49:02.07\00:49:03.15
So I go to church and I sit
down next to this lady I kind of
00:49:03.19\00:49:06.39
recognize and I wasn't
really sure who she was.
00:49:06.43\00:49:08.25
Turn out it was Tara's mom.
00:49:08.29\00:49:09.63
So we are sitting in service
and church is over and I'm
00:49:09.66\00:49:13.11
trying to figure out
how I'm going to get home.
00:49:13.15\00:49:14.40
So I felt impressed to ask her.
00:49:14.44\00:49:16.52
She said you
know who I am right?
00:49:16.56\00:49:18.61
I said no don't remember you.
00:49:18.64\00:49:20.90
She said on the financial
aid director at AUC and it
00:49:20.93\00:49:23.56
all came back, but I still
didn't know was Tara's mom.
00:49:23.59\00:49:26.50
So said would you be able
to give me a ride back to my
00:49:26.54\00:49:29.31
apartment today? I didn't
want to explain what happened.
00:49:29.35\00:49:32.09
I was like I was just
dropped off at church.
00:49:32.12\00:49:35.52
- police just towed
my car and my license.
00:49:35.55\00:49:38.88
So she dropped me off and
on the way home she says you
00:49:38.92\00:49:43.91
know that I'm Tara's mom right?
00:49:43.94\00:49:45.69
I said oh wow, I didn't
know you were Tara's mom.
00:49:45.73\00:49:48.03
Yeah you should call
her. - she said that?
00:49:48.06\00:49:50.76
She said yeah
you should call her.
00:49:50.80\00:49:52.01
Oh that is too funny.
00:49:52.05\00:49:53.32
And I'm thinking here we
go again someone is going to
00:49:53.36\00:49:55.23
try to push relationship
and I was like okay.
00:49:55.27\00:49:57.67
So she gave me her number,
or she said her number was
00:49:57.70\00:49:59.69
in the phone book.
00:49:59.73\00:50:00.97
So I look it up and said
I'm not going to call her.
00:50:01.01\00:50:04.25
But God keeps impressing
me that whole day to give her
00:50:04.28\00:50:07.51
a call, and so was like at
the same exact time she was
00:50:07.54\00:50:10.74
pleading for God to
send someone into her life.
00:50:10.77\00:50:13.20
Of course the phone rings
and it's me on the other end.
00:50:13.24\00:50:15.27
We start talking -while you were
going through Child guidance?
00:50:15.31\00:50:18.63
Oh I love God, people
don't think that He's that
00:50:18.66\00:50:22.65
personal, I tell them
that He's that personal.
00:50:22.69\00:50:26.65
He wants to help
us in every part.
00:50:26.68\00:50:28.61
So now with the answer to
your prayer, but He actually
00:50:28.64\00:50:32.10
wanted to have a woman of
God and to have a relationship
00:50:32.14\00:50:35.22
that is God centered so He
answers everybody's prayer.
00:50:35.26\00:50:38.49
Not that that wasn't
obvious, but I had to say it.
00:50:38.53\00:50:41.69
It wasn't my ideal to date a
girl that had children because
00:50:41.73\00:50:45.31
I had that opportunity before
and it seemed complicated.
00:50:45.34\00:50:48.86
I don't mean to be harsh,
but you have children of every
00:50:48.89\00:50:53.35
color? Yeah. - so what's
funny is when you see that.
00:50:53.38\00:50:57.77
We have a well rounded family.
It represents the whole world.
00:50:57.81\00:51:00.99
For someone that would actually
kick in a judgment thing?
00:51:01.02\00:51:04.17
So you really had to
look at a lot of stuff.
00:51:04.20\00:51:07.25
Yeah, but that didn't
bother me, the different
00:51:07.28\00:51:10.29
backgrounds
didn't bother me at all.
00:51:10.32\00:51:12.00
It was the simple
fact that she had kids and
00:51:12.03\00:51:14.19
I know that was
kind of complicated but
00:51:14.23\00:51:16.35
I have been working
for five years at a place
00:51:17.75\00:51:19.90
called Perkins in Massachusetts.
00:51:19.94\00:51:21.52
I was doing behavioral
management with kids from
00:51:21.56\00:51:24.54
grade school all with
high school, so like for five
00:51:24.58\00:51:27.49
years I have been managing
kids with behavioral problems,
00:51:27.53\00:51:29.30
acting out. I will put
them in holds and all this.
00:51:29.34\00:51:31.09
- No way. So I was burnt out.
00:51:31.12\00:51:33.84
I was totally burned out,
but when I look back, God had
00:51:33.87\00:51:37.14
actually been preparing me
for the trouble she was having
00:51:37.18\00:51:40.14
with her children, not that
I'm going to rough them up or
00:51:40.18\00:51:43.11
nothing but that wasn't
where God was leading me.
00:51:43.14\00:51:46.89
Growing up my father
lacked very much in discipline,
00:51:46.93\00:51:50.60
looking back on my life I
realize that some of the things
00:51:50.64\00:51:52.90
I struggle with today are
because my dad didn't discipline
00:51:52.93\00:51:55.70
me enough, most sons or
daughters say that but only when
00:51:55.74\00:51:58.47
they get older in life.
00:51:58.51\00:51:59.48
Discipline as far
as setting boundaries.
00:51:59.51\00:52:02.01
Got really prepared me for
life with her, though I was
00:52:02.04\00:52:06.24
ready to be a disciplinarian
father, a loving father.
00:52:06.28\00:52:10.25
So God really led and so
we ended up going for a walk
00:52:10.28\00:52:13.45
that day in the woods, I
had actually brought her to a
00:52:13.48\00:52:15.81
state park and did not
realize it was hunting season.
00:52:15.85\00:52:18.21
We're in the middle of the
park and was walking in the
00:52:18.25\00:52:21.92
snow and I turn around and
looked on a tree and it said
00:52:21.96\00:52:25.60
hunting during
the dah, dah, dah.
00:52:25.63\00:52:27.20
I thought oh not
going to mention that.
00:52:27.23\00:52:29.18
Figure out being in the
forest with kids during a
00:52:29.21\00:52:32.06
hunting season going on.
00:52:32.09\00:52:33.50
It was awesome because God loved
me so much that He fulfilled
00:52:33.53\00:52:37.53
everything that I
needed, but it was when I gave
00:52:37.56\00:52:42.69
everything to Him and I
said I'm not going to do it my
00:52:42.73\00:52:45.74
way anymore I need
You to find somebody and
00:52:45.78\00:52:47.70
sent him to me.
00:52:47.73\00:52:49.63
And at that point He
gave me everything I wanted.
00:52:49.67\00:52:51.70
- first step to
recover is that I can't do it.
00:52:51.73\00:52:53.69
I'm out of control, I need
a God that loves me and can
00:52:53.73\00:52:57.14
change things, that is so cool.
00:52:57.17\00:52:58.78
So you guys actually
grew spiritually and in love?
00:52:58.81\00:53:03.70
That was one of the first
things we started doing when we
00:53:03.74\00:53:07.12
dated, we started going
through 'The Desire of Ages'.
00:53:07.15\00:53:10.50
Actually being brought
up in an Adventist home.
00:53:10.54\00:53:14.43
- for people that don't know
The Desire of Ages is a book
00:53:14.46\00:53:17.17
about Christ that leads
you through the life of Christ.
00:53:17.20\00:53:19.52
It leads you right to the
Bible to tell you how incredible
00:53:19.56\00:53:22.11
God is, how much He loves
you, what forgiveness is about.
00:53:22.15\00:53:24.66
What
justification by faith is about.
00:53:24.70\00:53:27.50
How He wants to grow us
and change us and our thinking.
00:53:27.54\00:53:30.68
It covers all of that.
00:53:30.71\00:53:32.16
My car was in the impound lot so
she had to pick me up from work
00:53:32.19\00:53:35.10
and make me dinner at
night. - you didn't have a car.
00:53:35.13\00:53:38.17
Right, it was good.
Oh yeah it was great.
00:53:38.21\00:53:39.53
This was the first time I
had read this book though.
00:53:39.57\00:53:43.72
- so it's a
romantic story. - it is.
00:53:43.75\00:53:45.86
It's about how God loves
us and then it brought us to
00:53:45.90\00:53:48.86
love each other
and it was awesome.
00:53:48.89\00:53:52.02
God really worked it out and
now we have a beautiful child
00:53:52.06\00:53:55.30
of our own too, he is one
year old. - he's adorable.
00:53:55.33\00:53:58.88
We love our kids to death.
00:53:58.92\00:54:00.81
And I have met all
your kids and each one is so
00:54:00.84\00:54:04.17
incredible and God has blessed.
00:54:04.21\00:54:06.98
We have one minute
to end this interview.
00:54:07.01\00:54:11.08
The show is about recovery
and we have covered that
00:54:11.11\00:54:14.13
through the different steps
of recovery and being honest,
00:54:14.16\00:54:16.57
looking at yourself,
and turning it over to God.
00:54:16.61\00:54:19.00
But this show is also
about the Holy Spirit, has the
00:54:19.04\00:54:21.39
Holy Spirit been a
part of your journey at all?
00:54:21.43\00:54:23.89
Absolutely, absolutely, our
lives became a mess every time
00:54:23.92\00:54:26.61
we didn't rely on the Lord.
00:54:26.64\00:54:27.76
We all struggle with
that, we are born in sin so our
00:54:27.79\00:54:30.52
hearts are constantly have
a tendency to fall away from
00:54:30.55\00:54:32.90
God and if we don't put the
Holy Spirit first in our lives
00:54:32.93\00:54:35.24
our families start
having issues. - kids act out.
00:54:35.28\00:54:38.59
Without the Holy Spirit we
can't work those issues out.
00:54:38.63\00:54:40.94
Without the Holy
Spirit were nothing here
00:54:40.98\00:54:42.85
I want to say thank
you so much for joining us.
00:54:42.89\00:54:44.92
I'm crazy about you
guys, it is way fun.
00:54:44.95\00:54:48.14
I thank God for the way
He works with us in recovery.
00:54:48.18\00:54:51.42
All of the things that we
have to learn about ourselves,
00:54:51.46\00:54:55.40
we think it's just the guys,
even with Tara the guys are
00:54:55.44\00:54:59.94
a problem, but it was her
own lack, her own abandonment
00:54:59.98\00:55:04.09
issues, going from person
to person and God saying let
00:55:04.13\00:55:08.21
Me love you, let Me
fill you up so much that when
00:55:08.25\00:55:11.64
you get a partner it's
going to add to you and not
00:55:11.68\00:55:15.04
because you have a lack.
00:55:15.07\00:55:16.30
We saw Him do that in her
testimony and her life and with
00:55:16.34\00:55:19.85
her kids, so if you have any
of those issues, know that there
00:55:19.89\00:55:23.37
are steps to go in recovery,
but the most important step
00:55:23.40\00:55:26.39
is to trust God.
00:55:26.42\00:55:28.11
He knows exactly who you
are and has known who you are
00:55:28.15\00:55:30.85
from the womb and He loves you.
00:55:30.89\00:55:32.51
We'll be right back stay tuned!
00:55:32.54\00:55:34.13
Cheri Peters uses the
book, 'Coming Of The Comforter'
00:55:38.71\00:55:41.60
as a guide for the second
season of Celebrating Life In
00:55:41.64\00:55:44.99
Recovery, written by Lee
Roy E. Froom is a 320 page book
00:55:45.03\00:55:48.35
that offers every
sinner the knowledge that the
00:55:48.38\00:55:50.68
Holy Spirit is available to all.
00:55:50.72\00:55:53.18
3ABN now offers this book
to you for a suggested donation
00:55:53.21\00:55:56.74
of only $13
postpaid within the US.
00:55:56.78\00:56:00.20
Call 3ABN at 618-627-4651
or go online to 3ABN.org.
00:56:00.24\00:56:07.07
I love testimonies, what I
love about them is you can see
00:56:21.13\00:56:25.43
so clearly how God takes
us and all of our damage, and
00:56:25.47\00:56:29.35
all of our junk even when
we think we are doing the right
00:56:29.38\00:56:33.33
thing and He will work as
long as He has to just to show
00:56:33.37\00:56:37.28
us how it has been injuring us.
00:56:37.31\00:56:39.03
Then He just gently
shows us the right way to act.
00:56:39.07\00:56:41.84
I love that and I'm
going to read some Scripture.
00:56:41.88\00:56:44.62
Can I use your Bible real quick?
00:56:44.66\00:56:46.03
The scripture for
this season is in Psalms.
00:56:46.07\00:56:48.84
I'm going to read Psalms
51:7 and Psalms 51:7 says,
00:56:48.88\00:56:52.79
"Purify me with Hyssop
and clean me up, and I shall
00:56:52.83\00:56:57.73
"be clean, wash me and I
shall be whiter than snow. "
00:56:57.77\00:57:02.61
I love that because we are
such a mess and trashed He says
00:57:02.64\00:57:06.46
He will clean you up. "Make
me hear joy and gladness and
00:57:06.50\00:57:09.87
"be satisfied, let these
bones that were once broken,
00:57:09.91\00:57:13.25
"let them be
healed. " Let them dance.
00:57:13.29\00:57:16.35
I love that stuff and God
says I will so come into your
00:57:16.39\00:57:19.88
life and bring healing
that you won't even know it.
00:57:19.91\00:57:22.86
So we talked about
being honest with our stuff.
00:57:22.90\00:57:25.48
Finding good relationships,
get yourself in a group
00:57:25.52\00:57:28.07
in a church and have a friend.
00:57:28.11\00:57:30.00
Use the Bible for
instruction, the Holy Spirit for
00:57:30.03\00:57:33.86
teaching and the Holy
Spirit will show you things
00:57:33.90\00:57:36.58
that you will say I
don't even want to see that.
00:57:36.62\00:57:39.24
Don't be afraid of what you
see because God wouldn't show
00:57:39.27\00:57:42.39
you anything that it is
not going to benefit you.
00:57:42.43\00:57:46.47
The other thing that Tara
talked about is time, all this
00:57:46.51\00:57:50.16
takes time, time for Tim
to heal, if there is broken
00:57:50.20\00:57:53.14
stuff it is going to take
time for you to heal with your
00:57:53.17\00:57:56.33
broken relationships and
spiritual stuff and emotional
00:57:56.37\00:57:59.49
stuff, it takes time.
00:57:59.52\00:58:00.79
You know what, it is amazing,
it's absolutely amazing.
00:58:00.82\00:58:04.10
Until next week always
remember that God is crazy about
00:58:04.14\00:58:07.39
you, and you know what?
00:58:07.42\00:58:08.86
Remember that we are too
because if we don't support each
00:58:08.90\00:58:11.54
other in that way, then we
will not get it in recovery.
00:58:11.58\00:58:14.19
See you next time and God bless.
00:58:14.23\00:58:15.95