Welcome to Celebrating
Life In Recovery and I am
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Cheri your host and
today is going to be a little
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intense because I'm so
proud of God and the fact that
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He heals us, so come join
us and you will love this show.
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Well a lot of people talk
about recovery and they talk
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about recovery from
drugs, alcohol and those things.
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Cigarettes, some kind of
chemical thing, but when I talk
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about recovery, I talk
about recovery from everything.
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Sometimes people need recovery,
we had a guy on the show
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that was in 8 foster homes,
he had Cerebral Palsy as a kid,
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his mother was
alcoholic. His recovery with
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recovery from all that never
been loved or not knowing who he
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was, not knowing how he
fit in, or how his disease was.
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So when I talk about recovery,
I talk about recovery in
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every aspect,
mentally, spiritually,
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and physically,
all those things.
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When somebody told me one
time that addiction is like
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cancer, in cancer one
cell is out of control, right?
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All cancers have this one
cell out of control, whether it
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is breast Cancer, or colon
cancer, or lymphoma or skin
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cancers, any of that stuff
it is one cell out of control.
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Addiction it is the same
way, regardless of what the
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addiction is it is usually
one thing out of control.
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Some of us are lucky
enough to have many addictions.
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So that is a lot of things
out of control, but it is the
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same kind of thing
when you get into recovery.
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It's the same thing
because recovery is recovery.
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What works for one addiction
is the same for another
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addiction, when you go to a
12 step group or an addiction
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group or a recovery
group they will tell you
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one day at a time.
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It doesn't matter what
the addiction is, one day at a
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time, do this,
do the right thing.
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When I started exercising
and eating right because
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I am a heroine addict in
recovery and so somebody said
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drink a lot of water, take
some showers make sure that
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you eat right
and all those things.
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So my physical addiction
from a heroine started to feel
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better right? But
so did my depression.
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I'm thinking I can't believe
this I am actually feeling
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better psychologically.
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When I started working on
being honest with myself, my
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relationships improved and
I'm thinking how fun is that?
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So one thing will lead to
another and all addiction is
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is the same and
recovery is the same.
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Were going to interview
Fred Stoeker again today.
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Fred I love you, the last
time we were on the show we
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had e-mails from
everyone on the planet I think.
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And most emails were
from people that wanted help
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so that was incredible.
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We have Pastor Richard,
Pastor Richard keeps me in line
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on every one of the
shows and I appreciate that.
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We have Dan Somers, I
always call you curly just
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because, and in the show
just look at his face and try
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to figure out
why I call him that.
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And Valerie, you are new
in recovery. Angie thank you
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for coming and I love you
from Oklahoma and Sam you have
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a testimony that you are
going to cover on another show,
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but in the café
we have a number of
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people from different places.
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What is funny about
that, is most of them will have
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their own recovery stories
and we are not going to cover
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them all today, but every
single person on this show has
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recovery stories and
every person you see on the show
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if you get connected with
them at all pray for them.
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We are all
dealing with something.
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I want to give a demonstration
and it is my favorite
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demonstration, it is so
much my favorite demonstration
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that I have to do it.
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Every time I say I'm going to do
that the whole staff here says
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oh please don't do it,
it's terrible, it's gross and it
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really is but bear with me.
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There is a message
that you will love.
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I have $100
bill, can you see that?
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It is fairly new, I
have wrinkled it a little bit
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carrying it around,
but it is $100 bill right?
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Does everybody see it? I
want to ask, does anybody
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want this hundred dollar
bill, just raise your hand?
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Oh Val come on be
honest just raise your hand.
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So I've got this
hundred dollar bill.
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What if I take this $100
bill and just crinkle it up?
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And I'm going to try to
crinkle it up as much as I can.
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Because it doesn't really
look like $100 bill anymore.
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But does anybody
want it still? umhumm.
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What if I, if I dunk it in
your water, throw it on the
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floor, step on it and
smash it into the ground?
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You know I have horses
and I wear these shoes out
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sometimes to deal with my
horses and so I probably have
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a little horse stuff on my foot.
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Do you still want
this? Yes! Alright.
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Okay now I'm going to
open it up just to see if it is
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still $100
bill, man it still is.
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Okay now I'm going to
spit on it, does anybody, I was
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trying to get Angie to do
that for me but she was like
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no way I'm not
hocking" a huge on a $100 bill.
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But now it is dripping
and wet and it's disgusting,
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does anybody still want
this hundred dollar bill?
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Sure! Yep. Why is that?
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The value, it's
still $100 bill, right?
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What I want to say it is
when God looks at us we could
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be a mess, we could be
trashed, we can be twisted, we
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could be abused from the
time we came out of the womb.
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But when God looks at us
we are still His children.
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Just like this hundred
dollar bill is still $100 bill.
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We do not lose value to
God no matter what we have been
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through and I
don't care what it is.
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You can look at somebody
and say, even that guy or that
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girl if you are breathing
you are of value to God and
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at that value has never
changed and will never change.
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Trust Him, turn it over
to Him and let Him so fill
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you up that you are
for ever in recovery.
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With all your stuff because
in God's eyes nothing has
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ever changed with Him.
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We are going to do something
a little bit different in
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this show, instead of
having the introductions we
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usually do and having the
teaching like we usually do
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we are going to break and
come back and do the interview
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sooner because I want to
give Fred as much time as
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you need to cover the
issues he wants to cover.
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So stay with us, we will be
right back and this is going
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to be absolutely amazing,
it is absolutely too cool
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so hang in there.
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Think you've seen
it all? Think again.
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Cheri Peters is back
for a second season of
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Celebrating Life In
Recovery with more lives
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more stories and more miracles.
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Watch the shocking,
inspiring, and the incredible.
00:07:06.08\00:07:10.13
Check your local
listings to find out when
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Celebrating Life In
Recovery comes to you and get
00:07:12.68\00:07:16.17
ready for another dose
of reality, Cheri style.
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I am so excited to do this
show, the last time Fred was
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on, Fred first of all I
have to say thank you for
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coming back. -
it's great to be here.
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The last time you were
on we did a show on sexual
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addictions, we did a
show on recovery from that and
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we did a show with your
wife Brenda, about her take on
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healing when you find out
that your spouse is lost in
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sexual stuff and
I got e-mails from
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everybody on the planet.
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I get e-mails from pastors
that were saying, you have
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given me the courage to
get out of this addiction and
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to step into recovery
which I immediately called and
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left a message. I
can't even believe this.
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When I got that, and if
the pastor is watching I just
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want to say you blessed
me, you so blessed me because
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shows about that, listening
up and getting courage to
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step out of your addiction,
and what ever it is, sex,
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drugs, rock 'n roll just to
be able to step out of that.
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We had responses from everyone.
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This time we want you to
come back, you did another
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book called, 'Tactics'.
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Explain that book and let's
get into all that other stuff.
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Well when I wrote my first
book 'Every Man's Battle' I
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had been talking about
the physical side of the
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addictions to some extent
the chemical reactions in the
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brain when we are
looking at porn and
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sensual things
in our environments.
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I had talked about defending
ourselves from more of a
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physical standpoint, guarding
in our eyes, guarding our
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mind and keeping our
hearts pure so that we can cut
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off the addictive
part of sin in our life.
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You said even making a
covenant with your eyes,
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I think about that now
when I see something that draws
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me or any part of
my addiction I think of
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a covenant with your eyes.
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That was such a
cool thing to learn.
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Well the eyes are really
the gateway into your soul and
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one of the things we need
to make sure of is that our
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eyes are really being kept pure.
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One of things I find my
own recovery process is that
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guarding my eyes and mind
took me about 80 to 85% of
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the way home in terms of
getting completely broken free
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and a total victory.
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But the other thing that
I found was really necessary
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was for me to move from
a position of conforming
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to the truth to
actually being transformed,
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thinking more like Christ
when it comes to my sexuality
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and how I treat women.
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What I wanted to do is to teach
guys how to take that next step
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and get really intimate
with the Heavenly Father
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really intimate with Christ,
with your brothers in Christ
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as an army together
you can fight this battle.
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What I found in my own
particular case is that as the
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intimacy with the Father
grew, my own desire for sexual
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sin dissipated
completely almost.
00:10:15.25\00:10:17.72
And over time it is gotten
to the point where that whole
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temptation battle
where you are first fighting
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this battle is always
this oh should I do that
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or shouldn't I, temptation
pops up and its oh no.
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There is a place in God
where you can get where those
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temptations
aren't like that anymore.
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You can walk through your
life in peace and you don't
00:10:36.05\00:10:38.58
have to worry that
something is going to pop up
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and scare you anymore.
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I have to say and I noticed
this on the last show that
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we had done a radio show
together and my background
00:10:45.10\00:10:47.95
is that I was homeless
and strung out and all that so
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when I came into the church,
even coming to the church
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I didn't find a
lot of men that had
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that kind of integrity.
00:10:55.83\00:10:57.25
In fact every once in a
while I would see somebody
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looking at me in a certain
way or whatever and I never
00:10:59.78\00:11:02.98
felt completely safe, I still
checked on people's motives.
00:11:03.01\00:11:06.17
There was one time you
said that a woman walked into
00:11:06.21\00:11:08.65
your office and she was
kind of cute, she was dealing
00:11:08.68\00:11:11.73
with her issues and at
one point you realized that
00:11:11.77\00:11:14.78
you are safe with her.
00:11:14.81\00:11:16.18
When you said that, it was
almost like you said that and
00:11:16.22\00:11:19.14
I want to stop and say
God thank you because I didn't
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think You were
going to get me here.
00:11:22.10\00:11:23.47
Well see, I really feel like
as a Christian man I need to
00:11:23.51\00:11:28.39
be heroic in the way
that I treat other people.
00:11:28.43\00:11:30.97
And I think heroic, you
think back to the knights in
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shining armor, or
the sheriff that saves
00:11:36.86\00:11:40.62
the town and you are
always thinking in terms of that
00:11:40.65\00:11:44.38
guy is protecting everyone.
00:11:44.41\00:11:47.00
It is his job to be a protector.
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I feel like as the men we
should be heroic in the way we
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treat women, and children
in that women and children
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should be
completely safe around us.
00:11:55.13\00:11:56.80
They don't have to worry
about us looking them up and
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down and stealing from
them for our own pleasure.
00:11:59.54\00:12:02.05
Kids should never have
to worry about, if they are
00:12:02.09\00:12:04.53
bouncing on our knees,
what we might be thinking inside
00:12:04.56\00:12:07.01
our heads, and it is one
thing to say that and another
00:12:07.04\00:12:09.46
thing to become that.
00:12:09.49\00:12:10.91
My whole goal in my ministry
is to help men not to just
00:12:10.95\00:12:13.71
seem to be Christians,
because they go to church and
00:12:13.75\00:12:16.06
they look good and they
bounce kids on their knees.
00:12:16.10\00:12:18.34
I want men to actually be
Christians through and through
00:12:18.37\00:12:21.25
so the kids are safe,
women are safe, and they are
00:12:21.29\00:12:23.57
actually living free as
they go through their lives.
00:12:23.60\00:12:26.89
- but as a damaged
woman coming into the church,
00:12:26.93\00:12:29.79
I so thought everybody
was going to be that way.
00:12:29.82\00:12:32.61
Do you know what I mean?
In my heart I felt like this
00:12:32.64\00:12:35.21
was going to be a safe place
and I can let down all this
00:12:35.24\00:12:38.19
guard and now I see more
and more, and hopefully with
00:12:38.22\00:12:41.56
books like 'Every Man's
Battle', more men and women
00:12:41.60\00:12:45.47
both saying we really
can get victory over this.
00:12:45.51\00:12:48.95
It's such a hopeful
thing, I don't have to be
00:12:48.98\00:12:52.38
locked in this for ever.
00:12:52.42\00:12:53.59
There are a lot of people
that take Paul's words that say
00:12:53.62\00:12:57.40
I do what I don't want to
do, and the things I do want
00:12:57.43\00:13:01.17
to do I don't do and a
lot of people take those
00:13:01.21\00:13:03.76
scriptures and say look
because of that we know we can
00:13:03.79\00:13:06.75
never really be free of
sexual sin and it's always going
00:13:06.78\00:13:09.54
to be something like a
parrot on your shoulder speaking
00:13:09.58\00:13:12.31
in your ear and drawing you.
00:13:12.34\00:13:13.74
But what I found
in my own life is that
00:13:13.78\00:13:15.69
is simply not true.
00:13:15.73\00:13:17.14
If you look at the
rest of Paul's words
00:13:17.17\00:13:19.14
- does anyone want to say Amen?
00:13:19.17\00:13:21.83
I think it is
important for people
00:13:21.86\00:13:24.44
- to know that you're not
going to struggle the rest of
00:13:24.48\00:13:27.17
your life, that God
will give you victory.
00:13:27.20\00:13:28.93
- well you see I didn't
know that there was that kind
00:13:28.96\00:13:31.12
of freedom, when I began to
fight the battle for freedom
00:13:31.16\00:13:33.28
I have one thing in mind.
00:13:33.31\00:13:34.70
My heart was so broken over
the distance that I had from
00:13:34.73\00:13:37.98
God at the time but I
just wanted to be able to look
00:13:38.01\00:13:41.22
Him in the eye again.
00:13:41.25\00:13:42.32
You know when you go to
God some 400 times and say
00:13:42.35\00:13:45.94
I'm going to stop this
and you don't, after a while
00:13:45.98\00:13:49.54
you can't hardly
lookup when you go to prayer,
00:13:49.57\00:13:52.33
you are just broken.
00:13:52.37\00:13:53.98
Here He is my Father and
He loves me and I can't even
00:13:54.01\00:13:57.60
look Him in the eye and so
I wasn't trying to improve my
00:13:57.64\00:14:02.39
sex life with my wife or really
to do any thing for myself
00:14:02.43\00:14:06.17
or any of that, I was just
looking to just be able to sit
00:14:06.20\00:14:09.91
in His lap again
and to look in His face.
00:14:09.95\00:14:11.88
The thing is there was
so much more than what I was
00:14:11.91\00:14:16.79
expecting, I thought I could
get in there and get connected
00:14:16.83\00:14:20.26
with Him and feel free
just from that feeling of guilt.
00:14:20.29\00:14:23.20
If I was freed just from
the feeling of guilt I was going
00:14:23.24\00:14:26.83
to be happy, but what it
has turned out to be is that
00:14:26.86\00:14:30.33
I can go now traveling
in hotel rooms and not have
00:14:30.37\00:14:33.81
a single temptation all night.
00:14:33.84\00:14:35.26
I can walk through the
halls of a business and see
00:14:35.29\00:14:39.64
beautiful women and not
have a temptation, I don't even
00:14:39.68\00:14:42.23
care if I look at them
or even think about it.
00:14:42.26\00:14:45.37
I can raise my children to
be free and I don't have to,
00:14:45.41\00:14:48.50
I used to look at my son,
he just got married, he's 23.
00:14:48.54\00:14:51.60
When he was two I used
to look into his eyes and
00:14:51.63\00:14:53.94
he would paddle up to me
on his little legs and have
00:14:53.97\00:14:56.24
a pacifier
hanging out of his mouth.
00:14:56.28\00:14:57.66
And when he would look in
my eyes I knew what he was
00:14:57.70\00:15:00.13
saying, he was saying
daddy you are my hero and
00:15:00.17\00:15:02.36
I'm going to be just
like you when I grow up.
00:15:02.40\00:15:04.53
I used to look back into
his eyes sometimes and actually
00:15:04.56\00:15:08.03
burst out crying because
I knew that I did not know
00:15:08.07\00:15:11.25
how to keep him from getting
into the same trap that my
00:15:11.29\00:15:14.76
grandfathers were in and I
was in and my dad, all of us
00:15:14.79\00:15:18.22
were hooked on porn.
00:15:18.26\00:15:19.48
And I knew as I looked him
in the eye there was no way
00:15:19.52\00:15:21.29
I could save you from this.
00:15:21.32\00:15:22.80
I don't not help myself
and I can't help you son.
00:15:22.83\00:15:25.42
I am not your hero and
it would kill me but what
00:15:25.46\00:15:29.46
I've found is that
once you learn and you teach
00:15:29.50\00:15:33.05
those principles to
your son early he can go
00:15:33.08\00:15:36.60
through his whole life free.
00:15:36.63\00:15:37.86
My son just got married at
the age of 23 and he had his
00:15:37.90\00:15:42.23
first kiss with
the woman at the altar.
00:15:42.26\00:15:44.96
So you're saying genera-
tional things can be broken.
00:15:44.99\00:15:50.12
People will tell you
know, they really can't.
00:15:50.16\00:15:53.04
You can manage them
but they can't be broken.
00:15:53.08\00:15:55.89
What I have seen is
something completely different.
00:15:55.93\00:15:59.46
At one time I had four
girlfriends and was sleeping
00:15:59.49\00:16:02.32
with three of them and I
was engaged to be married
00:16:02.36\00:16:05.15
to two of them.
00:16:05.18\00:16:06.56
You go from there in just
one generation to a guy that
00:16:06.60\00:16:10.24
had his first kiss
on his wedding day,
00:16:10.28\00:16:13.08
God can do anything.
00:16:13.12\00:16:15.08
Didn't you just
weep? Well not really.
00:16:15.12\00:16:17.86
- because you're a man,
did your wife just weep?
00:16:17.90\00:16:21.08
You know we have come to
believe so strongly in what God
00:16:21.11\00:16:25.53
can do in this area that
it was more of a celebration
00:16:25.56\00:16:29.57
for us, it was like there
is our beloved son in whom
00:16:29.61\00:16:33.59
we are well
pleased kind of a thing.
00:16:33.62\00:16:35.17
All we could do was
just clap with everyone else,
00:16:35.21\00:16:38.06
it was an exciting day.
00:16:38.10\00:16:39.23
Can I ask you something?
What I found in my own recovery
00:16:39.26\00:16:42.82
is that I really struggled
with trying to do the right
00:16:42.86\00:16:46.38
thing and not fall
into temptation and to learn
00:16:46.41\00:16:48.44
something else, to go to another
Bible study, or whatever.
00:16:48.48\00:16:51.87
Until I found the Holy
Spirit, until I found that part
00:16:51.91\00:16:55.27
of recovery I didn't realize
that I could have recovery
00:16:55.31\00:16:58.35
without the struggle and
I think there is a change.
00:16:58.38\00:17:02.17
The big change, I know for
me and this will sound real
00:17:02.20\00:17:05.67
simple but, I really believe
the Scriptures are simple.
00:17:05.71\00:17:09.07
I don't believe that God
wanted this whole thing to be
00:17:09.10\00:17:12.41
all that hard, it was
hard for Him because He had to
00:17:12.45\00:17:15.83
send His Son to die, but
He wanted it easier for us.
00:17:15.87\00:17:19.19
He wanted us to be able
to accept Christ, move in and
00:17:19.23\00:17:22.20
He was the 	who put the
Holy Spirit in us so that
00:17:22.24\00:17:25.18
we could walk in
the divine nature
00:17:25.21\00:17:26.60
as it says in 1 Peter.
00:17:26.64\00:17:28.19
He wanted to give us life
and the power we needed to
00:17:28.23\00:17:33.65
walk like this and I guess
for me what that entailed was
00:17:33.68\00:17:37.87
getting tightly connected
and it was as simple as this.
00:17:37.90\00:17:42.22
I heard on the radio one
day, it was a pastor and he was
00:17:42.26\00:17:45.95
saying he never goes in
to prayer without first going
00:17:45.99\00:17:49.65
into worship, I had
never heard that before.
00:17:49.68\00:17:51.97
I thought I guess if he
could do that I can do that,
00:17:52.00\00:17:56.28
I didn't know really what
to expect but it was something
00:17:56.31\00:18:00.18
that he said that made
his prayer life more exciting.
00:18:00.21\00:18:03.33
Like more then that he
gave him a deeper intimacy with
00:18:03.37\00:18:06.45
God and it was something
I really felt I needed.
00:18:06.49\00:18:08.67
So I got a boom box and took
it down in the basement that
00:18:08.71\00:18:12.88
first day and took my music
down and it was really hard
00:18:12.91\00:18:16.43
at first, I know people
laugh and say it's a guy thing
00:18:16.47\00:18:19.95
but for me it really felt goofy.
00:18:19.98\00:18:21.76
To be singing out loud, by
myself in the basement walking
00:18:21.79\00:18:25.90
back and forth
singing out loud to no one,
00:18:25.93\00:18:28.55
for all intents and
purposes of people looking in.
00:18:28.59\00:18:31.70
I remember I would look
out the basement window to see
00:18:31.73\00:18:34.59
if anybody was looking in
to see what this crazy guy was
00:18:34.62\00:18:37.52
doing and I would look up
the stairs to see if my kids
00:18:37.55\00:18:40.59
were looking around because
it just felt funny at first.
00:18:40.63\00:18:44.05
I kept saying to myself,
I know God has to love this.
00:18:44.09\00:18:48.40
I know I like it, it feels
funny but I know it is right.
00:18:48.43\00:18:53.55
The strangest thing was
after about three weeks the Lord
00:18:53.59\00:18:58.68
began to show up in
ways that He hadn't been.
00:18:58.71\00:19:01.19
We began to have some
tremendously romantic times,
00:19:01.23\00:19:06.12
not in the sense we
think sexual obviously,
00:19:06.16\00:19:08.45
but just these intimate
times where we so having
00:19:08.49\00:19:12.89
such a good time together.
00:19:12.93\00:19:14.15
I began to really understand
more and more about who
00:19:14.18\00:19:18.37
He is and what He is made of.
00:19:18.40\00:19:20.67
But for people who never
felt that connection with God
00:19:20.71\00:19:24.54
in the sense of He is so
present, He is so with me and
00:19:24.57\00:19:28.33
right now understanding exactly
where I am and letting me know
00:19:28.37\00:19:31.85
exactly where He is.
00:19:31.88\00:19:33.74
Explain to them how
important that is in recovery?
00:19:33.77\00:19:38.61
The reason why it is so in
important, it is really hard
00:19:38.64\00:19:41.85
to describe, you have been
through it so you know what
00:19:41.88\00:19:45.05
is hard to describe -
but it changes everything.
00:19:45.09\00:19:47.97
It does change everything
and I can try to use a few
00:19:48.00\00:19:50.85
stories to help explain.
00:19:50.88\00:19:52.51
If you are sitting next
to a computer and something
00:19:52.54\00:19:57.11
pops up on the screen,
you instantly turn it off and
00:19:57.15\00:20:01.73
go your way because the
Lord is so real to you and has
00:20:01.77\00:20:06.32
become so connected
to you that it feels like
00:20:06.36\00:20:08.56
adultery to do that.
00:20:08.59\00:20:10.07
Let's say you are walking
down and somebody has left
00:20:10.11\00:20:13.47
a Playboy magazine on the
top of an ice machine in a
00:20:13.50\00:20:17.68
motel and what happens is
you, in the old days, before
00:20:17.72\00:20:21.09
you had that connection
with the Lord, you would be
00:20:21.12\00:20:24.05
thinking should I look
at this or not look at it.
00:20:24.09\00:20:26.98
Should I save it for later?
00:20:27.02\00:20:29.50
Now you just look at it
and go well I have been bought
00:20:29.53\00:20:33.79
at a price, I know who my
Lord is and I am connected to
00:20:33.82\00:20:38.04
Him and I will see Him
tomorrow morning bright and
00:20:38.08\00:20:41.41
early singing, I don't
have a right to look at this.
00:20:41.44\00:20:45.01
The question
should I or shouldn't
00:20:45.05\00:20:46.90
I doesn't even
make sense anymore.
00:20:46.93\00:20:48.75
There's a transformation
of the mind where you are so
00:20:48.79\00:20:52.40
submitted to the Lord
once you become connected that
00:20:52.44\00:20:55.51
intimately with Him
there is just a mindset that
00:20:55.55\00:20:58.59
changes more than
almost anything else.
00:20:58.62\00:21:01.08
At least that's how
it feels like to me.
00:21:01.12\00:21:03.51
When I read in the Bible
that you're very desires will
00:21:03.55\00:21:06.88
change, I would sit there
and think what does He mean by
00:21:06.92\00:21:10.22
that, how is He
going to do that?
00:21:10.25\00:21:11.56
Does that mean He is
going to change my very desires,
00:21:11.60\00:21:14.36
because I'm so twisted,
my background I'm twisted.
00:21:14.40\00:21:17.09
God says one day you will
laugh at that because the things
00:21:17.13\00:21:20.57
you get excited about you
won't get excited about anymore.
00:21:20.60\00:21:24.01
That is what you are
saying, get into an intimate
00:21:24.04\00:21:26.33
relationship to where they
don't even draw me anymore.
00:21:26.37\00:21:29.02
The Bible talks
about transformation.
00:21:29.06\00:21:31.43
The Bible talks about conforming
to the word and it also talks
00:21:31.47\00:21:34.81
about being transformed by
the word and really those are
00:21:34.84\00:21:38.27
connected obviously but they
are also two different things.
00:21:38.31\00:21:41.65
And I can conform to the
word and spent all my life just
00:21:41.68\00:21:44.61
white knuckling it and go
into why I don't want to sin
00:21:44.65\00:21:47.31
today - and without the
Holy Spirit I think you do that.
00:21:47.34\00:21:50.23
But with the Holy Spirit, as
you get intimately involved and
00:21:50.27\00:21:53.86
that comes not just through
worship but it comes through
00:21:53.90\00:21:56.86
reading the Bible, comes
through the prayer times and
00:21:56.89\00:21:59.75
all the things we normally
associate with devotions.
00:21:59.79\00:22:03.03
As that happens, and as
that connection deepens that
00:22:03.07\00:22:06.27
transformation of the
mind begins to happen and
00:22:06.31\00:22:09.05
you begin to actually
have the mind of Christ where
00:22:09.09\00:22:11.80
you actually think like He does.
00:22:11.83\00:22:13.60
Not just because
you trained yourself to,
00:22:13.64\00:22:17.27
it just becomes
part of who you are.
00:22:17.31\00:22:20.00
That is the part of recovery,
that is why if you go to
00:22:20.03\00:22:25.30
let's say more of a
secular psychology University or
00:22:25.33\00:22:29.35
whatever, they will teach
that you cannot do anything
00:22:29.39\00:22:33.37
but manage your addictions.
00:22:33.40\00:22:36.50
They will say that all away
to the bank, but what I found
00:22:36.53\00:22:40.92
is that Christianity has a
higher level of what would you
00:22:40.96\00:22:44.75
say, psychology in the sense
that God takes your mind and
00:22:44.78\00:22:48.54
just puts a new one in there.
00:22:48.57\00:22:50.22
He transforms it to be
like Christ and then you are no
00:22:50.26\00:22:54.83
longer the same
person in a sense.
00:22:54.86\00:22:56.81
I don't want to sound
too overly mystical or spooky
00:22:56.85\00:22:59.98
about that, you just are.
00:23:00.01\00:23:01.73
What's interesting to me
is that unless you experience
00:23:01.77\00:23:07.28
that you don't
know how cool it is.
00:23:07.32\00:23:09.10
Like I can while about
recovery now and I love to take
00:23:09.13\00:23:12.31
a breath, I love to look
around and I love to laugh.
00:23:12.34\00:23:15.87
It is that connection
with God and the freedom that
00:23:15.90\00:23:19.73
He gives you it is so
cool and I think without the
00:23:19.77\00:23:23.56
Holy Spirit, without
the intimacy with Christ
00:23:23.60\00:23:26.11
it's almost like
people believe it is going
00:23:26.15\00:23:28.63
to be a dreaded thing.
00:23:28.67\00:23:29.91
Oh I'm going to
give up one more thing.
00:23:29.94\00:23:31.42
Do you know what I mean?
00:23:31.46\00:23:33.15
Oh I do understand
because I was there.
00:23:33.19\00:23:35.05
When you first decide to
fight the battle you're saying
00:23:35.08\00:23:39.17
to yourself - I'm never
going to enjoy life again.
00:23:39.20\00:23:43.32
Well yeah, but you find
that you hate the results of the
00:23:43.35\00:23:46.24
sin enough that you are
willing to make that big brutal
00:23:46.28\00:23:49.70
sacrifice, but fact is once
you get into it and you start
00:23:49.74\00:23:53.19
seeing things like things
happening you didn't expect.
00:23:53.23\00:23:56.65
Like blessings in a
marriage bed with your wife.
00:23:56.68\00:23:59.91
The blessings with your
children where you don't have
00:23:59.94\00:24:02.49
to worry about them falling
into the same curse of sin.
00:24:02.52\00:24:06.26
Then it's just ridiculous
to think about there is some
00:24:06.29\00:24:09.45
kind of sacrifice, because
it was no sacrifice at all.
00:24:09.48\00:24:13.34
It's a funny feeling to be
able to walk out of a hotel
00:24:13.37\00:24:17.16
room in the morning for me,
and to be totally rested by not
00:24:17.19\00:24:20.98
having fought off temptations,
or looking at R-rated
00:24:21.02\00:24:23.82
movies all night, it is
just a wonderful, wonderful
00:24:23.86\00:24:26.62
freedom. - and even blessings.
00:24:26.66\00:24:28.24
You so blessed me even
without knowing it just that you
00:24:28.27\00:24:31.66
were safe if you
know what I mean?
00:24:31.70\00:24:33.53
Women just being blessed
that I can have a friendship
00:24:33.56\00:24:35.91
with you and not have to
worry that it is going to go
00:24:35.94\00:24:38.73
somewhere else so that I
have to watch how I say this or
00:24:38.77\00:24:41.85
what I do, I can know
that you as a man of God and as
00:24:41.89\00:24:44.93
Brenda's husband, you
are just a man of God.
00:24:44.97\00:24:47.92
And it works both ways
because for me, what I like is
00:24:47.96\00:24:51.99
being able to go into a
group of mixed of men and women
00:24:52.03\00:24:56.02
and they are all the same to me.
00:24:56.06\00:24:58.48
I don't have to worry
about she's hot and I better not
00:24:58.52\00:25:02.35
look at her, she is just
a person, a fellow heir to
00:25:02.39\00:25:06.19
the kingdom of Christ.
00:25:06.23\00:25:07.70
And again I don't want
people to think I'm suddenly
00:25:07.74\00:25:12.76
weird, actually what I
all of a sudden am is normal.
00:25:12.79\00:25:17.60
Normal in the way that
Christ was normal, the Lord
00:25:17.63\00:25:21.47
would say, the Father
would say He was the most normal
00:25:21.50\00:25:25.30
man that ever walked
the face of the earth.
00:25:25.34\00:25:26.83
The way that He treated people,
the way He moved, the way
00:25:26.86\00:25:30.09
He thought and for us as
Christians really our goal,
00:25:30.12\00:25:34.33
we call it sanctification
but in some ways, I don't want
00:25:34.36\00:25:38.53
to take this too
far, but in some ways what
00:25:38.57\00:25:40.15
sanctification is
becoming normal like Christ was.
00:25:40.19\00:25:43.37
Moving towards being
more like Him, working out our
00:25:43.41\00:25:46.53
salvation so that we look
and practice like we say we are.
00:25:46.56\00:25:50.50
Like the Bible
says we should be.
00:25:50.54\00:25:52.98
So 'Tactics', is that basically
what 'Tactics' is about?
00:25:53.01\00:25:56.84
Well 'Tactics' is about really
helping people connect with
00:25:56.87\00:26:00.67
the Father, first of all
I really want to let people
00:26:00.70\00:26:04.40
understand His heart for us.
00:26:04.43\00:26:06.52
Your example of $100
bill is a perfect example.
00:26:06.56\00:26:10.27
I don't use $100 bill,
you can put one in my book.
00:26:10.30\00:26:14.18
But I would buy it if
you did. - I bet you would.
00:26:14.22\00:26:18.06
I'd buy that hundred
dollars for 15 bucks.
00:26:18.09\00:26:21.01
What I want them to
understand is that when we fail,
00:26:21.05\00:26:25.12
which a lot of times
early in the process when we are
00:26:25.16\00:26:29.19
recovering and
walking again in those ways,
00:26:29.23\00:26:31.85
and affirming the word and
moving towards transformation,
00:26:31.88\00:26:34.25
and we fail sometimes
and we will stumble or trip.
00:26:34.29\00:26:37.64
The first thing I want to
do in this book was really help
00:26:37.67\00:26:41.21
people understand His heart
towards us, He is not going
00:26:41.24\00:26:44.75
anywhere, He just
is not going anywhere.
00:26:44.78\00:26:47.24
Not because He has to not
go, He wants to stay with you.
00:26:47.27\00:26:51.89
He's just part of the
deal, He loves us that much.
00:26:51.92\00:26:54.67
Then the second part is where
it talks about here is His heart
00:26:54.70\00:26:58.60
for us now how do you
connect with that heart?
00:26:58.63\00:27:00.32
How do you connect with
His heart so that you can have
00:27:00.36\00:27:02.61
that freedom that I talk about?
00:27:02.64\00:27:05.54
Amen, you know I think
once I got a clearer picture of
00:27:05.57\00:27:10.82
who God is and
what He thinks about me,
00:27:10.85\00:27:12.73
it changed my whole life.
00:27:12.76\00:27:14.37
And not that I knew
what to do with the junk,
00:27:14.41\00:27:17.17
the Holy Spirit had
to guide me in that.
00:27:17.20\00:27:18.82
It's so changed my life
because I thought He really is
00:27:18.85\00:27:21.99
crazy about me, He
really does want my best.
00:27:22.03\00:27:24.72
I have another son and his
name is Michael and he is 15.
00:27:24.76\00:27:27.93
He is a football player
and a couple years ago he came
00:27:27.97\00:27:31.11
to me and said dad -
where does he get that from?
00:27:31.15\00:27:33.14
Who knows right! So he
comes to me and says dad can you
00:27:33.18\00:27:38.15
teach me how to lift weights?
00:27:38.18\00:27:39.42
Well I had been waiting
for that question of course my
00:27:39.45\00:27:42.41
whole life and I said you bet.
00:27:42.44\00:27:44.33
So we began to lift weights
together and we began to work
00:27:44.36\00:27:48.05
out and this is actually
when he was 13 and in 8th grade.
00:27:48.09\00:27:52.61
So we get to the football
season and the first night,
00:27:52.65\00:27:57.22
just before that first
game, I told him look there
00:27:57.26\00:28:01.80
is something I need to tell you.
00:28:01.83\00:28:03.16
When you get into this
game you are not going to be
00:28:03.19\00:28:05.76
playing against B team
players like you do in practice.
00:28:05.80\00:28:08.35
These are going to be A
team guys and you should have
00:28:08.39\00:28:10.91
seen the look on
his face, like hahhhh.
00:28:10.94\00:28:13.03
Like I hadn't
thought of that dad.
00:28:13.06\00:28:15.07
I said don't worry about
it because you have everything
00:28:15.10\00:28:18.63
you need inside you and
I patted him on the chest.
00:28:18.67\00:28:21.22
You have worked hard, you
have lifted weights, and they
00:28:21.26\00:28:23.56
can't take that away from
you now you have everything
00:28:23.60\00:28:26.09
you need inside you to own
the field to do a good job.
00:28:26.13\00:28:29.42
Well we get out to the game
that first night and my wife
00:28:29.46\00:28:32.22
looks across at the other
team and says, oh man they are
00:28:32.25\00:28:34.98
bigger than us and she
sees this guy number 99.
00:28:35.02\00:28:37.40
I said awe pads will
make anyone look big.
00:28:37.43\00:28:39.74
She said no you better
go check, I want you to make
00:28:39.77\00:28:41.62
sure they are okay.
00:28:41.65\00:28:43.03
So I went over and this
guy was bigger, he's in eighth
00:28:43.06\00:28:45.68
grade and taller than I was.
00:28:45.71\00:28:47.03
This was a big mess, well
anyway the game starts and
00:28:47.06\00:28:50.04
guess who lines up against
my son Michael, number 99.
00:28:50.07\00:28:53.27
And the whole first quarter
they are hitting each other
00:28:53.31\00:28:56.38
like the Discovery channel,
grizzly bears in slow motion.
00:28:56.42\00:28:59.46
This is like oh man it's
like the war of the worlds.
00:28:59.49\00:29:02.59
Well after the first
quarter the other kid number 99,
00:29:02.62\00:29:05.94
was starting to get
tired of Michael and you could
00:29:05.97\00:29:09.25
tell his will to win had fallen
and Michael stepped up even
00:29:09.28\00:29:12.69
though he was shorter and not
as big, he controlled that spot.
00:29:12.73\00:29:16.10
Every game was like that
because Michael was late getting
00:29:16.14\00:29:19.41
to puberty and by the
fourth game it was getting
00:29:19.44\00:29:22.72
ridiculous, this guy head
hairs sprouting out everywhere.
00:29:22.75\00:29:25.47
Guy 99- no this was a
different number but he was
00:29:25.51\00:29:28.58
a guerrilla and in that
game it was Michael got kicked
00:29:28.62\00:29:34.23
all over the field the
first half of the game.
00:29:34.27\00:29:36.57
I can see Brenda
saying that is my child.
00:29:36.60\00:29:39.20
He was getting kicked around
and as he came off the field
00:29:39.24\00:29:43.62
at the end of the second
half he glanced up into the
00:29:43.66\00:29:47.73
stands and I knew what
he was wanting to know.
00:29:47.77\00:29:50.07
My dad has been working
out with me, my dad has been
00:29:50.11\00:29:53.15
helping me and telling
me everything he knows.
00:29:53.19\00:29:55.06
I just got kicked
all over the field,
00:29:55.10\00:29:57.20
what does my father think of me?
00:29:57.23\00:29:59.26
He glanced up at me
and do you know what I did?
00:29:59.29\00:30:01.87
because you know
what he did get kicked
00:30:01.91\00:30:08.17
around the field that
night, but you know what?
00:30:08.20\00:30:10.14
Eighth grade is eighth grade,
ninth grade is ninth-grade
00:30:10.18\00:30:13.38
any good father knows
that and what was my reaction?
00:30:13.41\00:30:16.31
Son you are commitment and
that is the important thing.
00:30:16.35\00:30:19.75
You are fighting with everything
you have, the next game
00:30:19.79\00:30:23.16
I will tell you some
more and we will get out
00:30:23.19\00:30:24.76
there and fight again.
00:30:24.79\00:30:26.22
You see that is
our Heavenly Father.
00:30:26.26\00:30:28.85
He is not looking down
and going or scowling at you.
00:30:28.89\00:30:32.65
He isn't going to go to
someone else to work with from
00:30:32.69\00:30:36.42
then on, no He is
with you and smiling.
00:30:36.46\00:30:38.77
It is not that you missed
the mark again, but come on
00:30:38.81\00:30:41.87
I'm going to teach you
some more and we will win this
00:30:41.91\00:30:44.94
thing by the time you
are a senior you will win.
00:30:44.97\00:30:47.04
Like I would say to my son,
by the time you are a senior
00:30:47.07\00:30:50.21
you may be all state, but
right now you got kicked around
00:30:50.24\00:30:53.34
but you are still my son
and I'm not going anywhere.
00:30:53.37\00:30:56.72
If we don't understand
that first about the Father,
00:30:56.76\00:31:00.07
He is in this for the long haul.
00:31:00.10\00:31:02.31
He is in is to transform
us, He doesn't just want to
00:31:02.34\00:31:06.29
forgive us, that's
not where He stops,
00:31:06.33\00:31:09.04
He wants to restore us. -A
lot of people stop right there.
00:31:09.08\00:31:12.20
It hurts them in two ways,
one of the biggest reason it is
00:31:12.23\00:31:15.32
we just don't get to go
fully into full restoration
00:31:15.35\00:31:19.01
because they stop, He's
going to forgive me anyway so
00:31:19.04\00:31:22.66
I can keep sinning so
everything is fine because
00:31:22.70\00:31:25.56
the blood covers it all.
00:31:25.60\00:31:26.60
Well that is not where God
stops, and if you stop there
00:31:26.63\00:31:29.23
you don't get to go to
where He wants to take you which
00:31:29.27\00:31:31.84
is into full restoration.
00:31:31.87\00:31:33.35
He didn't come here so that
we can limp safely home into
00:31:33.38\00:31:37.36
heaven, no He came here
so He can make us Olympic
00:31:37.40\00:31:40.09
champions, He talks about
sports in the Bible and being
00:31:40.12\00:31:44.53
like Olympic champions and
just lining up to Scripture
00:31:44.57\00:31:48.94
with everything in
us and being heroic
00:31:48.98\00:31:51.71
as we talked about earlier.
00:31:51.74\00:31:53.04
If we don't get that picture,
we don't get to step into
00:31:53.08\00:31:56.56
that. - because we are
the light of the world.
00:31:56.59\00:31:58.41
We are the light of the
world and He says we are
00:31:58.44\00:32:00.58
supposed to be shining
stars in our dark universe.
00:32:00.62\00:32:02.69
Was Jesus Christ a shining
star in His dark universe of
00:32:02.72\00:32:06.49
that day with that culture? Yes!
00:32:06.53\00:32:08.50
If we are walking like
Him we will be a shining star
00:32:08.54\00:32:12.33
in this dark universe.
00:32:12.36\00:32:13.91
We are going to break for
questions because I know people
00:32:13.94\00:32:16.24
have questions, but Fred
I know that you know this.
00:32:16.28\00:32:20.03
I had no idea that it
was so cool to be free.
00:32:20.07\00:32:23.36
I had no idea that it is
just so cool, that God does not
00:32:23.40\00:32:27.98
want us, like you
said stumbling around.
00:32:28.02\00:32:30.18
He does not want us to fight
so hard and to work so hard
00:32:30.22\00:32:34.16
at this because He said
I won this battle is over.
00:32:34.19\00:32:38.10
I just want to pour that
into you and let you bring
00:32:38.13\00:32:41.66
comfort to someone else.
00:32:41.70\00:32:43.01
So we are going to take
a break and come back for
00:32:43.04\00:32:44.83
questions and I hope you've
been blessed because I have.
00:32:44.86\00:32:48.62
We will be right back.
00:32:48.65\00:32:49.89
Cheri Peters uses the
book, 'Coming Of The Comforter'
00:32:53.62\00:32:56.83
as a guide for the second
season of Celebrating Life In
00:32:56.87\00:33:00.46
Recovery, written by Lee
Roy E. Froom is a 320 page book
00:33:00.50\00:33:04.06
that offers every
sinner the knowledge that the
00:33:04.09\00:33:06.30
Holy Spirit is available to all.
00:33:06.33\00:33:08.81
3ABN now offers this book
to you for a suggested donation
00:33:08.85\00:33:12.48
of only $13
postpaid within the US.
00:33:12.52\00:33:15.43
Call 3ABN at 618-627-4651
or go online to 3ABN.org.
00:33:15.46\00:33:22.38
You know I just want to
say for one thing thank you for
00:33:36.08\00:33:39.73
coming back and we have
covered a lot of things.
00:33:39.77\00:33:42.00
Some of them are sensitive
issues, and I say sensitive
00:33:42.04\00:33:45.51
but Fred you know what?
00:33:45.55\00:33:47.01
I get so excited about God
and who He is and what He is
00:33:47.05\00:33:50.30
capable of doing in our
lives that I want to stand on
00:33:50.33\00:33:53.43
the tallest building and
say you know what, I don't care
00:33:53.46\00:33:56.25
what your addiction is,
God doesn't care what it is.
00:33:56.28\00:33:59.03
He just wants you
well and laughing out loud.
00:33:59.07\00:34:01.37
Loving on each other, to
jump into this family of God
00:34:01.41\00:34:04.93
and just enjoy life, so that
is what I am hoping for you.
00:34:04.96\00:34:08.45
Right now we are going
to open it up for questions.
00:34:08.49\00:34:10.62
Does anybody have a
question or comment.
00:34:10.66\00:34:13.38
When you ask it just
say your name and ask away.
00:34:13.42\00:34:17.58
My name is Sam Tani I
would like to ask you Fred,
00:34:19.35\00:34:23.27
or make a comment anyway.
00:34:23.30\00:34:27.15
From my own experience
for years of addiction to
00:34:27.18\00:34:33.79
pornographic materials,
first thing I had to do was to
00:34:33.82\00:34:39.09
get rid of all the
materials from the house.
00:34:39.13\00:34:43.66
If I didn't do that I didn't
feel that God could hear me.
00:34:43.69\00:34:49.93
Second, when I was recovering
I'm praying to God and
00:34:49.96\00:34:58.01
asking Him to help me
get over this feeling.
00:34:58.04\00:35:04.40
You know, even though I
was asking God to help me get
00:35:04.44\00:35:10.90
over, someplace in the
corner of my heart I was wishing
00:35:10.94\00:35:17.36
to hang on to it.
00:35:17.40\00:35:18.75
Now do you see
that as a common thing.
00:35:18.79\00:35:22.98
Do you see my grin? It
is a very common thing.
00:35:23.01\00:35:27.09
There is a duality in us
as people and we are afraid
00:35:27.13\00:35:32.26
sometimes to give up that
thing that we have been leaning
00:35:32.30\00:35:36.13
on and if you really look
at what's behind sexual sin,
00:35:36.16\00:35:39.74
you'll see that it is not
trust a physical addiction.
00:35:39.77\00:35:43.42
Where we are looking at
something and having a chemical
00:35:43.46\00:35:46.63
reaction in our brain that
feels good so we want it again.
00:35:46.66\00:35:50.10
There is also some emotional
addictions to it where if we
00:35:50.14\00:35:54.30
are under stress we will
run to porn to feel that quick
00:35:54.33\00:35:58.46
vacation from the stress.
00:35:58.49\00:36:00.68
If we are really angry,
maybe our girlfriend broke up
00:36:00.72\00:36:04.92
with us we will run to porn
to show we have control over
00:36:04.95\00:36:09.12
our lives and we are real men.
00:36:09.15\00:36:10.83
There is a lot of issues
with that and if we don't have a
00:36:10.87\00:36:14.50
real trust built up in the
Lord yet, where it is really
00:36:14.53\00:36:17.75
strong, there is going to
be some of that pullback and
00:36:17.78\00:36:21.60
parts of us are going to
be saying, not so sure I want
00:36:21.64\00:36:25.42
to get rid of that.
00:36:25.46\00:36:26.62
But the fact of the
matter is as we push forward,
00:36:26.65\00:36:30.75
just like my son when I
said you had everything inside
00:36:30.79\00:36:33.77
you that you need, you have
that strength inside of you.
00:36:33.81\00:36:36.75
The apostle Peter told us
we have everything we need
00:36:36.78\00:36:39.92
inside through the power
of the Holy Spirit to walk in
00:36:39.95\00:36:43.05
the supernatural
divine nature and to escape
00:36:43.09\00:36:45.83
the corruptions of this world.
00:36:45.87\00:36:47.85
We really can do that,
but there will be some battles
00:36:47.88\00:36:52.06
first because the
flesh is fighting the spirit,
00:36:52.09\00:36:54.27
but I will say it is something
that we have the strength
00:36:54.31\00:36:58.23
inside to win if we will
simply set our minds and not
00:36:58.26\00:37:02.15
worry so much that
that pull is still coming.
00:37:02.18\00:37:05.07
Still press into God
and press into the victory.
00:37:05.10\00:37:08.66
Does that help? What I
think about just now is that
00:37:08.69\00:37:12.21
I think about
when I was smoking.
00:37:12.25\00:37:14.45
I tried to quit smoking
and I was dying because I love
00:37:14.48\00:37:17.98
to smoke, but it hurts my lungs.
00:37:18.02\00:37:20.68
It trashes my throat and
those things and I think there
00:37:20.72\00:37:23.79
is a real sense in coming
out of porn and a lot of our
00:37:23.82\00:37:27.71
addictions is to say God
I beg you to let me see the
00:37:27.75\00:37:31.63
destructiveness of this
addiction because I know the
00:37:31.67\00:37:35.52
pleasure and the draw.
00:37:35.55\00:37:37.06
I know it creates in me
the sense that I need that,
00:37:37.09\00:37:39.65
but give me some insight into
the other part of it because
00:37:39.68\00:37:43.24
it is not balanced yet.
00:37:43.27\00:37:44.77
I think the Lord will
answer that and give us some of
00:37:44.81\00:37:48.94
that insight, but I know
for me really what He wanted me
00:37:48.98\00:37:52.74
to understand is that this
is not good for you because
00:37:52.77\00:37:58.38
I say so and for me the
reason why He was saying that
00:37:58.41\00:38:03.98
was not so much
like our dads would say.
00:38:04.02\00:38:06.62
You're going to do what
I say because I said so.
00:38:06.66\00:38:09.16
He was saying that
because He made us,
00:38:09.20\00:38:11.21
He knows what's good for us.
00:38:11.24\00:38:12.72
He says look you need to
trust Me in this, this is going
00:38:12.76\00:38:15.73
to hurt you and this is hurting
you and you need to stop.
00:38:15.76\00:38:19.39
That is really the basis
of where we need to get to is
00:38:19.43\00:38:23.17
that we trust Him enough
that we understand and the
00:38:23.21\00:38:26.88
second side of that is we
understand that sin separates.
00:38:26.92\00:38:30.46
We don't want to be
separate from God, like I said
00:38:30.50\00:38:33.16
earlier I don't want
to be separate from Him,
00:38:33.20\00:38:34.75
I want to be close to
Him and so that aspect of it
00:38:34.79\00:38:37.78
we need to understand as well.
00:38:37.81\00:38:39.35
Does that answer it for
you Sam? - yes, perfectly.
00:38:39.39\00:38:43.10
Anything else? - I
have another comment.
00:38:43.13\00:38:44.86
Fred says that when he goes
to ice machine, if he happens
00:38:44.90\00:38:49.87
to see a Playboy magazine
or something he will wonder
00:38:49.90\00:38:54.84
whether he should look
at it or leave it alone.
00:38:54.88\00:38:57.78
I got to the point where
if I see anything like that,
00:38:57.81\00:39:02.51
I don't want someone
else to be tempted so I go and
00:39:02.54\00:39:07.20
throw it away. -
Amen, I love that.
00:39:07.24\00:39:10.95
So you have to
walk in front of Fred.
00:39:10.99\00:39:14.67
Boy, I'm right with you.
00:39:14.70\00:39:17.83
But isn't that incredible
saying I know what a hard
00:39:17.86\00:39:20.78
struggle that is so I don't
want anyone else to have to
00:39:20.82\00:39:23.70
struggle with
that. That is way cool.
00:39:23.74\00:39:26.51
That just shows your heart.
00:39:26.55\00:39:28.08
Any other comments or questions?
00:39:28.11\00:39:30.46
I have a question, I married
a Methodist minister who just
00:39:30.49\00:39:37.13
happen to have problems.
00:39:37.16\00:39:39.52
I met this Methodist
minister's son and I am worried
00:39:39.55\00:39:47.25
about my son ever, hereditary
like picking up any of those
00:39:47.29\00:39:54.95
habits or becoming sick
with this type of disease.
00:39:54.99\00:40:01.09
I can tell you that from my
own experience that there is a
00:40:01.13\00:40:07.39
spiritual component to this.
00:40:07.43\00:40:09.55
I can just tell you a quick
story, sometimes I would find
00:40:09.58\00:40:14.11
myself in the very act of
lusting and looking at these
00:40:14.14\00:40:18.63
things, even masturbating.
00:40:18.67\00:40:20.37
It would be early on
Sunday mornings where I would be
00:40:20.40\00:40:23.58
looking at lingerie ads in
the Sunday morning ad inserts.
00:40:23.61\00:40:26.74
There were many times where
my wife would suddenly awake
00:40:26.78\00:40:30.62
upstairs and I would hear
her rush out of bed and rush
00:40:30.66\00:40:34.47
downstairs and I would
quick put everything away.
00:40:34.50\00:40:37.73
She would come in, Fred,
Fred I had the worst nightmare
00:40:37.77\00:40:42.33
I was in this room and it
was dark and Satan was there
00:40:42.37\00:40:45.79
and I was running down
all the hallways and looking
00:40:45.82\00:40:48.63
into every room looking
for you to protect me and
00:40:48.66\00:40:51.43
I couldn't find
you. I couldn't find you!
00:40:51.47\00:40:53.64
Where were you? And
she would fall down into
00:40:53.67\00:40:55.81
my arms crying hysterically.
00:40:55.84\00:40:58.01
I knew where I had been I
had been nowhere near her.
00:40:58.04\00:41:03.02
One of the things I learned
through that was that as I'm
00:41:03.06\00:41:07.13
in involved in sexual sin I
am compromising my spiritual
00:41:07.16\00:41:11.20
authority over my home.
00:41:11.24\00:41:12.71
I knew that was going on
and it was one of the things
00:41:12.74\00:41:16.36
that really drove me
in the other direction.
00:41:16.39\00:41:19.28
One of the things we know is
that with the enemy involved,
00:41:19.31\00:41:23.14
as he captures the one
that is in charge, he has also
00:41:23.17\00:41:31.23
a foothold into that home.
00:41:31.26\00:41:33.34
What I found in my life
was that until I stood up and
00:41:33.37\00:41:37.59
said no, this
far and no farther.
00:41:37.63\00:41:40.85
Until I stood up and I drove
the stake in the ground and
00:41:40.88\00:41:44.21
said this far and no
farther, before this the name
00:41:44.24\00:41:47.89
Stoeker meant corruption,
pornography, drunkenness,
00:41:47.93\00:41:50.91
alcoholism or what ever,
but from this day forward
00:41:50.95\00:41:53.90
the name Stoeker is
going to mean purity.
00:41:53.93\00:41:56.49
Holiness, heroism, and
until I made that decision
00:41:56.52\00:42:00.28
Satan really had
his way in my home.
00:42:00.32\00:42:03.69
- he had permission to come in.
00:42:03.72\00:42:05.31
- he had permission to
come in and once I took all
00:42:05.35\00:42:07.58
that permission
away he couldn't do that.
00:42:07.61\00:42:11.11
One of the things I
found, which has been an amazing
00:42:11.15\00:42:14.77
thing to me, I
never expected this.
00:42:14.81\00:42:17.10
I should have expected it
from reading the Bible but I
00:42:17.14\00:42:20.89
didn't, what I found is
that my children have grown in
00:42:20.93\00:42:25.12
purity in my home, and
that generational curse snapped
00:42:25.15\00:42:28.55
when I stood up and
drove that stake in the ground.
00:42:28.58\00:42:31.91
They have naturally grown
in purity in spite of the fact
00:42:31.94\00:42:35.10
that they go to public school,
they live in America which
00:42:35.14\00:42:39.40
is a very sensual culture,
and somehow because we broke
00:42:39.44\00:42:43.17
that curse and my wife
and I teamed up to teach these
00:42:43.20\00:42:46.90
principles to our kids,
they have grown up holy.
00:42:46.94\00:42:49.67
You know when you say that
I want to say ow not somehow,
00:42:49.70\00:42:52.53
God honored your
choice and I love that.
00:42:52.57\00:42:54.86
And I know that you met
that and I just want to say,
00:42:54.90\00:42:57.72
God honored your choice and
for anybody listening because
00:42:57.76\00:43:02.05
I know because of the
show before there are a lot of
00:43:02.09\00:43:04.96
people listening that God
will break generational curses
00:43:04.99\00:43:07.83
and all that generational
stuff when you make the
00:43:07.87\00:43:11.10
choice and say no more, no more.
00:43:11.13\00:43:13.36
That's exactly it, but
amazing thing for me was that
00:43:13.39\00:43:17.11
there was a time during
that time I was deciding am I
00:43:17.15\00:43:20.84
going to fight
this battle or not?
00:43:20.87\00:43:22.02
Am I going to drive a
stake into the ground or not,
00:43:22.06\00:43:24.96
that the Lord spoken to my
heart, it wasn't audible or
00:43:24.99\00:43:27.13
anything, but He spoke
very clearly into my heart.
00:43:27.17\00:43:29.27
He said something
that I had to respond to.
00:43:29.31\00:43:32.88
He said, are you going to
be the one that drives this
00:43:32.92\00:43:36.63
stake into the ground, or
are you going to leave it for
00:43:36.66\00:43:40.33
a better man than you
somewhere down the line?
00:43:40.37\00:43:42.48
He didn't say it in a
mean way, He didn't say it in
00:43:42.51\00:43:46.92
a challenging way, He
just asked me a question.
00:43:46.96\00:43:51.30
I couldn't face having to
leave that to my sons or my
00:43:51.33\00:43:55.53
grandsons, I have to
do this and that is when
00:43:55.56\00:44:00.14
I stood up and it was at
that point okay I'm in Father,
00:44:00.17\00:44:05.54
I'm going to be about
your business in this deal.
00:44:05.57\00:44:08.80
That's when everything
began to break and there was a
00:44:08.83\00:44:12.41
time shortly, it had to
be a few years down the line,
00:44:12.45\00:44:16.00
when my son was in
junior high and I talked
00:44:16.03\00:44:18.22
to him about porn and
the dangers of it and how
00:44:18.25\00:44:20.40
it affects you like cocaine.
00:44:20.44\00:44:22.04
Three weeks later his
friends brought porn to school
00:44:22.07\00:44:25.38
for the first time, he
told me that much of the story
00:44:25.42\00:44:29.18
and I was just petrified,
thinking what did he do?
00:44:29.22\00:44:32.91
Will he be like every other
Stoeker, so what did you do?
00:44:32.94\00:44:37.48
He said well I walked
away like you said dad.
00:44:37.51\00:44:39.96
I say could the cracks
before forming in this wall?
00:44:39.99\00:44:45.05
Will this generational
wall fall? It has! It has!
00:44:45.09\00:44:50.12
I love that, I really love that.
00:44:50.15\00:44:52.40
Pastor Richard do
you have a question?
00:44:52.43\00:44:54.33
Yes I do, I
actually have two of them.
00:44:54.37\00:44:56.19
One is that I have two children,
a nine-year-old daughter,
00:44:56.23\00:44:59.61
and a 7-year-old son.
00:44:59.64\00:45:01.51
You spoke up about the
generational, how safe is it
00:45:01.55\00:45:06.65
for us to start educating when
it comes to sexual correctness
00:45:06.68\00:45:10.89
if I could use that term?
00:45:10.93\00:45:12.25
I guess that would be the
best way I can put it, how safe
00:45:12.29\00:45:18.40
is it for us to already
start him at seven or nine?
00:45:18.43\00:45:21.03
If he saw that stuff.
00:45:21.07\00:45:22.04
Yeah that's what
I'm referring to.
00:45:22.05\00:45:23.50
Yeah well what I've found
is that first of all statistics
00:45:23.53\00:45:27.63
show 50% of American boys
see their first pornography
00:45:27.67\00:45:31.73
before the age of 11.
00:45:31.77\00:45:33.48
So one thing we need to
understand is that we need to
00:45:33.52\00:45:36.19
get to this issue
fairly early in their lives.
00:45:36.22\00:45:40.12
I really started
with my girls and boys
00:45:40.15\00:45:42.74
at around 10 or 11, but a
lot of people ask if they can
00:45:42.78\00:45:46.62
go earlier and I think
if we go on a factual basis,
00:45:46.65\00:45:50.42
a simple basis on their age
I think that's a good thing.
00:45:50.45\00:45:53.84
Somebody says if they're
asking a question answer it
00:45:53.88\00:45:57.23
factually not so much
with sensuality in it but
00:45:57.27\00:46:01.32
just factually, when
they are asking about where
00:46:01.35\00:46:05.37
baby comes from tell them.
00:46:05.40\00:46:07.27
We know from brain development
anyway that kids have
00:46:07.31\00:46:11.25
a tough time doing any
abstract thinking until
00:46:11.28\00:46:13.78
the ages of 11 or 12 anyhow.
00:46:13.81\00:46:15.53
It is really during that
time frame that they really
00:46:15.57\00:46:18.25
start understanding
themselves in relation to others
00:46:18.28\00:46:20.93
sexually, in any way
that they can comprehend
00:46:20.96\00:46:24.16
and processed properly.
00:46:24.20\00:46:26.08
I'm not saying they can't
have sex earlier than that
00:46:26.11\00:46:28.90
because they can, that
is a warping time for them
00:46:28.93\00:46:31.68
to go through that at that time.
00:46:31.72\00:46:33.32
You told a story one
time on one of your previous
00:46:33.35\00:46:36.12
interviews about your
son and Victoria Secrets.
00:46:36.15\00:46:39.28
Talk about that, because
we really need to educate
00:46:39.32\00:46:42.42
our kids because they
are going to see stuff.
00:46:42.45\00:46:45.12
And that is exactly why
we need to start earlier.
00:46:45.15\00:46:47.75
I was working on book
deadline so my wife was getting
00:46:47.79\00:46:51.05
tired of all that and she
was just wanting to get the
00:46:51.08\00:46:53.95
kids out and went to a
mall with my two daughters and
00:46:53.99\00:46:56.83
son Michael that I
talked about earlier.
00:46:56.86\00:46:58.60
He was 11 at the time, maybe 10.
00:46:58.64\00:47:00.95
They got home that night
and I heard all the packages
00:47:00.98\00:47:05.01
clunk on the floor, I was
in the basement and I knew
00:47:05.05\00:47:09.04
they all had a great time.
00:47:09.08\00:47:10.19
What I came to find out
later is that as the two girls
00:47:10.23\00:47:14.97
ran upstairs to play, Michael
hugged my wife from behind.
00:47:15.00\00:47:19.71
She turned around and
said Michael I love you too.
00:47:19.74\00:47:22.69
She really didn't know
where it was coming from.
00:47:22.72\00:47:25.60
He looked her in the eye
and asked her this question.
00:47:25.63\00:47:28.36
Mom how do you get pictures
of women in their underwear
00:47:28.40\00:47:31.09
out of your head?
00:47:31.13\00:47:32.62
Of course she answered
like any woman would, that's
00:47:32.66\00:47:36.88
a good question for
your dad. - ask your dad.
00:47:36.92\00:47:40.03
Before you go tell
me what kind of pictures
00:47:40.06\00:47:43.14
are you talking about?
00:47:43.17\00:47:44.48
She was completely confused,
he was a boy that really
00:47:44.51\00:47:46.97
didn't know a girl from
a bale of hay at the time.
00:47:47.01\00:47:49.68
He wasn't interested
in girls on that level and
00:47:49.71\00:47:52.35
he certainly wasn't
out looking to lust.
00:47:52.38\00:47:55.87
So what he said was this,
we were walking down the Mall
00:47:55.90\00:47:59.95
today and walking by that
secret store, he called it.
00:47:59.98\00:48:03.99
We all know that
means Victoria Secrets.
00:48:04.03\00:48:05.98
He said I glanced into
that window and I haven't been
00:48:06.02\00:48:09.05
able to get those
pictures out of my mind all day.
00:48:09.08\00:48:12.20
Meaning those views of
those women in their underwear.
00:48:12.23\00:48:16.46
The fact is that we know
from research that when a man
00:48:16.50\00:48:20.23
looks at something sensual,
there is a chemical reaction
00:48:20.26\00:48:23.96
I spoke of earlier and
it locks that image into
00:48:24.00\00:48:26.59
his brain forever and
he was for the first time
00:48:26.63\00:48:29.18
experiencing that in a way that
00:48:29.22\00:48:31.19
he can
articulate to someone else.
00:48:31.23\00:48:33.13
It was just a natural
thing, now one of the things
00:48:33.16\00:48:36.00
I like to say
about that is this.
00:48:36.04\00:48:37.96
If it is true we are built
this way, we cannot afford to
00:48:38.00\00:48:41.89
attach shame to
this whole issue.
00:48:41.92\00:48:43.91
This was a young guy, he
is a spiritual young guy and
00:48:43.94\00:48:47.12
was walking down the Mall
not paying attention glanced
00:48:47.16\00:48:50.31
up and boom that happens.
00:48:50.34\00:48:52.03
We need to understand if
we don't teach our son's early
00:48:52.06\00:48:55.01
about this - and our
daughters. - and our daughters.
00:48:55.04\00:48:57.91
But if we don't teach
them early about this they are
00:48:57.94\00:49:00.89
going to just by naturally
walking through a central
00:49:00.93\00:49:02.63
society they are going to
get hooked on these things,
00:49:02.66\00:49:04.91
so two things I would say.
00:49:04.94\00:49:07.13
First of all we cannot
attach shame to this, all young
00:49:07.16\00:49:10.72
men, all young women as
they grow they have to learn to
00:49:10.75\00:49:14.24
get their
sexuality under control.
00:49:14.28\00:49:17.23
They have to learn to own
their sexuality as opposed to
00:49:17.27\00:49:20.27
their sexuality owning
them, that's just a natural part
00:49:20.30\00:49:23.05
of growing up, no shame to
that just some they have to do.
00:49:23.08\00:49:25.79
So with your son you
literally sat down and
00:49:25.83\00:49:28.14
taught him some things.
00:49:28.17\00:49:29.33
I taught him about the
eyes and how the eyes work.
00:49:29.37\00:49:32.72
That's exactly what happens
son, you glanced up and the
00:49:32.76\00:49:35.10
chemical reaction hit and you
couldn't get it out of your mind
00:49:35.13\00:49:37.08
and I taught him
how to guard his eyes
00:49:37.11\00:49:38.61
and talk to him about a
few of those principles.
00:49:38.64\00:49:41.75
So what I would say it is
not only do we need to not
00:49:41.79\00:49:44.64
attach shame to it but
to recognize it as a part of
00:49:44.67\00:49:47.39
growing up as a Christian
boy to learn how to guard his
00:49:47.43\00:49:50.11
eyes, but he needs to
have a father and a mother,
00:49:50.15\00:49:53.91
and the girl needs to have
a father and a mother talking
00:49:53.95\00:49:56.71
to them and showing them,
if somebody doesn't teach them
00:49:56.75\00:49:59.52
they are going to naturally
look, and naturally have that
00:49:59.55\00:50:02.28
reaction and
naturally get hooked.
00:50:02.32\00:50:04.09
It's like falling off a
log it won't be hard and
00:50:04.13\00:50:06.05
they will be
doing it on purpose and
00:50:06.09\00:50:07.76
little by little get ensnared.
00:50:07.80\00:50:09.60
That is why we
need to start early.
00:50:09.63\00:50:11.99
To me another thing that's
interesting about that if nobody
00:50:12.02\00:50:17.00
teaches me a standard
or what is right, then I'll
00:50:17.03\00:50:20.15
never know when I am
deviating from that standard.
00:50:20.18\00:50:23.67
So I think it really equips
us when somebody says this
00:50:23.70\00:50:27.22
is how cool it is, this is
the gift that God has given
00:50:27.25\00:50:31.10
us and this is who we are
and how to guard yourself.
00:50:31.13\00:50:35.30
I think the earlier, I
was bad because with my past
00:50:35.34\00:50:39.48
Jackie is like six
months old and I said Hon,
00:50:39.51\00:50:42.42
so you really do want
to be age-appropriate.
00:50:42.45\00:50:46.07
I think should not be
ashamed or afraid or shame
00:50:46.11\00:50:49.54
someone but do it as
early as that child can and as
00:50:49.57\00:50:52.97
they are asking questions.
00:50:53.01\00:50:54.42
Exactly, and of course
he was asking a question,
00:50:54.46\00:50:56.58
how do you get those
pictures out of your head?
00:50:56.61\00:50:58.66
Well okay let's talk about
that I think it is important
00:50:58.70\00:51:01.85
like you said standards
are important to be set.
00:51:01.88\00:51:05.14
Really the word of God has
given to us for that purpose.
00:51:05.18\00:51:08.16
Paul told us that if the word
hadn't been given to us none
00:51:08.20\00:51:11.15
of us would know
what was right or wrong.
00:51:11.19\00:51:12.95
And God first of all
needed to help us know what was
00:51:12.98\00:51:15.77
right or wrong so we can
understand what not to do
00:51:15.80\00:51:18.55
to fall into
these kinds of traps.
00:51:18.59\00:51:20.59
The word can help and
tell us in a lot of ways,
00:51:20.63\00:51:23.03
as I mentioned earlier
about the Scripture in 1 Peter
00:51:23.06\00:51:26.96
talking about the fact that
we have everything inside of us
00:51:26.99\00:51:30.21
that we need to win.
00:51:30.24\00:51:31.21
I think it is really important
for us to understand that
00:51:31.22\00:51:34.79
truth, one thing I want to
be clear of is that I am not
00:51:34.82\00:51:38.41
talking about anything
magical here, mystical or
00:51:38.44\00:51:41.42
anything like that, but
fact is the Lord has simply
00:51:41.45\00:51:44.37
given us the Holy
Spirit that will speak to us,
00:51:44.40\00:51:47.25
guide us and we need to under
stand that we have what we need.
00:51:47.28\00:51:51.75
The only reason I bring
that up is that we don't have to
00:51:51.79\00:51:55.01
fear, we don't have to fear
like my son did that I don't
00:51:55.04\00:51:58.22
have the strengths
to block this number 99.
00:51:58.26\00:52:00.68
We have all we need to
block off the enemy, to put the
00:52:00.71\00:52:05.01
principles in place and to
follow the rules to walk in
00:52:05.05\00:52:08.74
God's ways, we can do it
that it's all God is saying.
00:52:08.78\00:52:12.51
The Bible is so fun when
it says resist the devil and
00:52:12.54\00:52:16.24
he will flee from you,
he has to run from you.
00:52:16.28\00:52:18.67
So as I got that understanding
is that with the Holy
00:52:18.71\00:52:22.68
Spirit, with God, all the power
and the victory is here and
00:52:22.71\00:52:26.83
I just have to say okay
what do I do right now because
00:52:26.86\00:52:29.31
right now I feel like
I'm going to fall and God can
00:52:29.35\00:52:31.76
educate me in the devil flees.
00:52:31.80\00:52:33.38
I have victory again in
every victory gives me a little
00:52:33.41\00:52:37.06
bit stronger legs.
- yes it really does.
00:52:37.10\00:52:39.04
How cool is that?
00:52:39.07\00:52:40.16
I've seen it over and over
again, I've been amazed at how
00:52:40.20\00:52:43.35
true the Scripture is and
we really need to see Scripture
00:52:43.38\00:52:47.57
as truth because the more we
believe it, that the more we can
00:52:47.61\00:52:51.77
expand our minds in
understanding what is possible.
00:52:51.80\00:52:53.60
- and live free. - yes.
00:52:53.64\00:52:55.07
You have one more
question. - yes I do.
00:52:55.11\00:52:57.05
This one I do get quite a
bit, I have a lot of youth
00:52:57.08\00:53:00.20
leaders that are calling
me asking me how do we address
00:53:00.24\00:53:03.33
this issue in their
youth study group's.
00:53:03.36\00:53:06.74
The youths are saying
listen the psychologists are
00:53:06.77\00:53:11.59
telling us that this
practice of self stimulating is
00:53:11.63\00:53:16.01
safe for us and we can
do this at night and it is
00:53:16.04\00:53:20.39
actually good for us.
00:53:20.43\00:53:21.96
How do we really approach
this situation, especially
00:53:21.99\00:53:25.55
within the youth context
when we have an authority like
00:53:25.59\00:53:29.21
that saying that it is
good and we know beyond a shadow
00:53:29.25\00:53:32.84
of a doubt that it is not.
00:53:32.87\00:53:34.31
Even psychology books and
those kind of things is that
00:53:34.35\00:53:37.42
people from all over are
staying it is no big deal.
00:53:37.46\00:53:41.06
And that is true and if
you want to do this sort of
00:53:41.10\00:53:44.10
thing with the self stimulation
you are going to look
00:53:44.14\00:53:47.10
for the authorities
that will give the okay.
00:53:47.14\00:53:49.27
A lot of times they are
going to want to look at them
00:53:49.31\00:53:52.41
but the fact of the
matter is when we look at
00:53:52.44\00:53:55.07
the research and what is
going on with it these days,
00:53:55.10\00:53:58.54
I don't think you can clearly
say that it is good at all.
00:53:58.58\00:54:01.62
As a matter of fact I talk
about that a lot of my book,
00:54:01.65\00:54:05.24
'Tactics' what I'm
finding as I looking around that
00:54:05.27\00:54:08.82
self stimulation does
becomes very habitual.
00:54:08.86\00:54:12.68
It starts to happen more
and more often and what tends
00:54:12.71\00:54:16.15
to happen is that it
changes your sexuality over time
00:54:16.18\00:54:20.22
where your focus begins to
be more upon the intensity of
00:54:20.26\00:54:24.49
the experience sexually
as opposed to the passage of
00:54:24.53\00:54:28.73
intimacy and what God
designed it to be for.
00:54:28.77\00:54:31.47
So yes you can say that
today maybe it is not going to
00:54:31.50\00:54:36.17
hurt you in a visible way
and people are going to go ahh
00:54:36.20\00:54:40.83
I know what you just
did or whatever else.
00:54:40.87\00:54:43.13
You may not notice it as
it happens over time but there
00:54:43.17\00:54:47.44
is a very clear change in
male sexuality when they get
00:54:47.47\00:54:51.71
involved in these practices
and it completely changes the
00:54:51.74\00:54:55.73
way they view women and the
way they view their sexuality,
00:54:55.76\00:55:00.15
and how they view their
partners experience, pleasure.
00:55:00.18\00:55:05.50
And women too because as a
woman I can say the things that
00:55:05.54\00:55:09.30
we think about, but things
that go through your mind when
00:55:09.33\00:55:12.61
you are self stimulating
are usually a little twisted.
00:55:12.64\00:55:15.89
They are about other
people, they are about other
00:55:15.92\00:55:18.14
situations you or someone
else and who you disassociate
00:55:18.18\00:55:21.20
from what is real and you
become addicted to the event or
00:55:21.23\00:55:24.43
the pleasure that you are
getting and Satan will get you.
00:55:24.46\00:55:27.40
Satan will get you in a way
that it doesn't feel like it is
00:55:27.43\00:55:30.15
harmful and pretty soon you're
locked in to an addiction.
00:55:30.19\00:55:33.23
Exactly and 'Every Young
Man's Battle', we actually do
00:55:33.27\00:55:36.28
six whole
chapters on this topic.
00:55:36.31\00:55:38.46
The whole point is the
Lord said that when we even
00:55:38.49\00:55:42.07
look at a woman with lust
it is sin and we know that
00:55:42.11\00:55:45.65
sin corrupts and it
breaks us down over time.
00:55:45.69\00:55:48.45
She is right too from the
standpoint of what you are
00:55:48.49\00:55:51.48
thinking about, it is a
corrupting thing obviously and
00:55:51.51\00:55:54.47
changes again the
way we look at women.
00:55:54.50\00:55:56.60
We don't look to them as
fellow heirs of the kingdom
00:55:56.64\00:55:59.40
of grace anymore, we
look at them as an interesting
00:55:59.44\00:56:01.82
collection of body
parts. - for our pleasure.
00:56:01.85\00:56:05.28
That's right. -
that's for men or women.
00:56:05.32\00:56:06.77
Absolutely it goes both
ways, in fact it is going more
00:56:06.81\00:56:09.46
and more both ways these days.
00:56:09.50\00:56:10.81
I've seen some things I
never thought I would see.
00:56:10.85\00:56:13.24
I was at Bible
school, not too long ago when
00:56:13.28\00:56:14.65
they did a survey of the
student body before I came
00:56:14.68\00:56:17.40
in to speak for a weekend.
00:56:17.43\00:56:19.01
They found that 100% of
the guys were looking at porn
00:56:19.05\00:56:22.82
regularly now was
involved in self stimulation.
00:56:22.86\00:56:25.23
87% of the girls on that
campus, it was a Bible school,
00:56:25.26\00:56:29.66
were involved in
looking at porn regularly.
00:56:29.69\00:56:32.84
I couldn't believe my ears.
00:56:32.88\00:56:34.20
I want to say first of all
we are at the close of the show
00:56:34.24\00:56:38.64
and I think you for joining
us, but I want to say that
00:56:38.67\00:56:42.66
a lot of times we are so
afraid of saying these things
00:56:42.70\00:56:46.65
out loud and I think
that is the devil himself.
00:56:46.69\00:56:49.61
When we say them out loud
it gives us the ability for
00:56:49.65\00:56:52.55
maybe the first time to
look at what is right, what is
00:56:52.58\00:56:56.32
normal, what actually is
good for us and what is going
00:56:56.36\00:56:59.38
to bring us to a right
relationship with each other and
00:56:59.41\00:57:02.39
especially with people we love.
00:57:02.43\00:57:04.10
But the devil has us quiet
and I'm thinking don't be quiet.
00:57:04.14\00:57:08.20
When you talk about a
school, a Bible school and 100%
00:57:08.23\00:57:11.72
of the males and 87% of
the women have been involved in
00:57:11.75\00:57:15.20
some kind of sexual
thing, I think somebody
00:57:15.24\00:57:17.34
needs to talk to them.
00:57:17.37\00:57:18.57
I want to say the next time
you go, I want to go with you
00:57:18.60\00:57:20.58
I'll talk to the guys,
I'll talk with the girls,
00:57:20.61\00:57:24.58
you talk to the guys.
00:57:24.61\00:57:25.61
We have covered a lot
of things on this show.
00:57:25.65\00:57:29.16
We have covered sexual
addiction and coming out of that
00:57:29.20\00:57:31.82
impurity and the fact
that God wants us to be free.
00:57:31.85\00:57:34.41
If you are struggling with
this I'm telling you there is
00:57:34.44\00:57:38.62
so much hope and
there is a way out.
00:57:38.65\00:57:42.18
There is a direction out
and if you have to get a hold
00:57:42.21\00:57:45.85
of Fred, get his book 'Tactics',
00:57:45.88\00:57:47.44
get 'Every Young Man's Battle'
and 'Every Woman's Battle'
00:57:47.47\00:57:50.62
by another
author, get something.
00:57:50.65\00:57:52.61
Get people around you to keep
you accountable and don't be
00:57:52.64\00:57:56.12
locked in this junk, because
it never ever will bring you
00:57:56.16\00:57:59.61
to a place of laughing out loud.
00:57:59.64\00:58:01.50
It will never bring you to
a place where you will feel
00:58:01.54\00:58:03.63
good about yourself
or the people around you.
00:58:03.67\00:58:05.08
God says I want you to have
life, I want you to have joy,
00:58:05.12\00:58:08.46
I wanted to be abundant and
I want you laughing out loud.
00:58:08.49\00:58:11.83
So that is it for this show,
always remember that God is
00:58:11.86\00:58:15.48
crazy about you and know
too that we are crazy about you.
00:58:15.52\00:58:19.10
I'm crazy about you and
we will see you next time on
00:58:19.14\00:58:21.66
Celebrating Life In Recovery.
00:58:21.70\00:58:23.75