Welcome to
Celebrating Life In Recovery,
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I'm Cheri your host.
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Today we will look at
what to do with doubt.
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This is a huge issue,
come on in and join us.
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Today we are going to
cover what to do with doubt.
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In the natural world we are
constantly are surrounded by
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mysteries that
cannot be fathomed.
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Even the smartest scientists
can't answer all the questions.
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On our first show,
Doctor David Gentry, was on.
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He is a creation
scientist and he was good but he
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is still searching the
incredibleness of God and the
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Cosmos even in the human body.
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There are folks getting millions
of dollars worth of grant
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money, and they
can't find all the answers.
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They are powerless to explain
everything, some things are
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just beyond the ability
for finite minds to understand.
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But God, through the Holy
Spirit gives us the answers
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we need, the Bible says,
ask and you will receive.
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That is John 16:24.
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Before we get to all the
stories and the different things
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we are going to cover today,
I'd like to say that at the
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Café today there are
some friends of mine that have
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incredible stories of how
God has held them up and kept
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them through the worst
of the worst of the worst.
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And I hope this show you
will fall in love with God and
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really get a good
idea of when we can't,
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when we can't figure out
what to do with our doubt,
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we will get a good
idea of what to do then.
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But I want to
introduce you to Annette,
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Annette I love you. -
Good to be here Cheri.
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This is exciting for me to
be up and at them again after
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two years flat on my back.
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Almost dead for a while
that time. - almost, starting
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probably November
26, two years ago.
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There were times that I
walked in your house that
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I thought, you know what?
She is not going to survive
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the day or the week
and God has blessed you.
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You are a fighter. - I
must be, but I think the
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thing is I had
God fighting for me.
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And the beautiful thing
is there are so many natural
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things fighting for us,
even if you are not a Christian.
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There are things like just
thinking 10 positive thoughts
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a day and giving thanks for
10 things, even if you don't
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believe in a God, just
giving thanks to something,
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it re-energizes your body.
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You know what I got to
say? Those are great things and
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let's cover some of those
on the show, but I've got a hat
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for you, and a lot of
people aren't going to know that
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your hair, before you
actually got hit with cancer,
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because that is what has
kept you in bed for the last
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couple years. Before you
got hit with cancer your hair
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was down past
your behind. - waist.
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My hair was 3 and 1/2 feet long.
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This hat says, has
anyone seen my hair?
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I. what you do have
this. - all right I love it.
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I will wear this.
- isn't that funny?
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It's lovely, thank you. - I
want to say thanks for being
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on the show and I know
that because of what you are
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dealing with, even
today you are in pain.
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You are having a lot of
struggles with the cancer even
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though it has
gotten much better.
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You may not be able to
stay with us the whole time and
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I totally understand, so
if you have to leave just know
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that I love you. - thank you.
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- thank you for
being on the show.
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I'm going to talk about
different things because when
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I first came to Christ I
had been homeless for 10 years.
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I was an addict, I was
illiterate and had a difficult
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time reading and so I really
had to rely a lot on trying to
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figure out who God was and
deal with my own doubts about
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everything, but I didn't
have any lot of skills to
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actually go to the Word of
God, study, memorize Scripture,
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keep it in my heart
and all those things.
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I had to really
rely on God and nature.
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So when I was a little
girl, and I said this on another
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show, I was standing, and
this was in the middle of abuse,
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in the middle of dysfunction.
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My family have all
kinds of addictions that
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they have dealt
with, I was homeless by the
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age of 12 or 13 years old.
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So when I was younger than
that standing by this fountain,
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I was watching people throw
quarters into the fountain.
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I thought how cool is
that? When nobody is looking I'm
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jumping in there and
getting me some quarters.
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So I asked my
uncle, what are they doing?
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He said, Oh you make a
wish and then you throw it in.
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I thought, get out. So he
gave me a quarter and I threw
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it in and I wished
for cotton candy skies.
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You know because
I'm a kid, right?
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That night I saw a sunset
for the first time in my life.
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It was orange and pink
and I couldn't even breathe.
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I thought how powerful is that?
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I remember this abused
little girl standing there,
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understanding for the first
time that something happened.
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Something happened! I
believe that something was God.
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Did I know it at the
time? No! Not a clue.
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When I first got into
recovery, I one time looked at
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a rainbow and someone said,
did you know that the rainbow
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was a promise from
God. A promise from God.
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He is involved in our lives.
I would look at the rainbow
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and thought are those
the colors from heaven?
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Is that the color from
heaven? How cool is that?
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So now I look at the
rainbow and it's the same thing.
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When I have doubt and all
of a sudden I see a rainbow,
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I don't care if the rainbow
is a reflection from my watch
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on the windshield
of my car, I take it.
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This is from God
and it is for me.
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God uses animals with
me a lot, I'm not sure if
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He does that with a lot of
people, but He uses animals.
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I'm in recovery, the
first week of my recovery I am
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withdrawing from
heroin, I'm shaky, I am not sure
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I can make it. I have
teeth missing in the front of my
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mouth, I'm less than
100 pounds and I am a mess.
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I'm sitting outside in the
foothills of the Sierras in
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California, I'm sitting
outside and I'm wanting to weep.
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This is too big for me.
I cannot get through this.
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This is killing me. I am
not smart enough and my body
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is aching and I can't do this.
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All of a sudden a bluebird
lands on a branch by me.
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Just lands there.
He's preening himself.
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Have you ever seen a bird
do that? Where he takes his
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feathers and goes all the
way down with his beak and
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cleans himself up. But what
is weird about this bluebird
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is that I can almost
reach out and touch it.
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It was that close to me.
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I'm thinking why is
this bird not afraid of me?
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When I said that in my head
I heard the Holy Spirit say,
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because I am protecting that
bird, and I'm protecting you.
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I promise you that I am
God, and I am here with you.
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So God does, for me,
those kind of things.
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When I got into ministry,
we're going to jump ahead,
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when I got into ministry
and I started to look around and
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there were people
that I loved, I loved.
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They would have huge doubts.
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I was working in
Indianapolis Camp Meeting.
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This Camp Meeting was amazing,
we started out with a few kids.
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The Holy Spirit was so
present and for Christians they
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know exactly
what I mean by that.
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The Holy Spirit was so
present that I was watching kids
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lives change right in
front of me, it was so fun.
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So as the Camp Meeting rolled
along I was there all week.
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The little group of kids
that we had to start with grew.
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People started coming, I
even had one kid to give us his
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bag of weed, you know
what I mean? I love that.
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You know you are really
doing good when somebody hands
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their drugs to you, you
know here's my cigarettes.
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Here's my weed, I want to
repent, but it was so amazing.
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Even at the end of Camp Meeting
somebody asked me, Cheri what
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would you do if you could
do anything, what could you do
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right now for these kids,
what would you want to do?
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I said, I want five pastors
to come to this tent and do
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anointing for healing,
spiritual healing for these kids
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People were concerned
that maybe kids don't know what
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they are asking for when
asking for Spiritual healing
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and anointing, for
someone to lay hands on them for
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healing, and I said ask them.
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These kids were asking
for, one kid said, when I was
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three years old, my
dad left her in a divorce.
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I felt abandoned, I started
hearing voices at that time.
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I've heard voices in my
head ever since that are
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condemning me, they are
condemning, they're horrible.
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I want you to lay hands on
me and pray for those voices
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to go away. These kids
knew exactly what they were
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asking for, and so
we had this anointing.
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Five pastors and we prayed
together before we did it,
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we came to the tent, we
anointed kids for healing
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for hours, it was so
amazing, it was so amazing.
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Afterwards, one of the
girls on the worship team that I
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worked with all
week long, all week long.
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Her name is Angela McPherson,
so if she is listening to
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this I have to say I so
love you, you know I love you.
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But she comes up to me
and says, she was scared and
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wanted to talk to me.
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If you have ever done ministry,
by the end, of the end,
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of the last night
you are pretty tired.
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And it was a high night
because we did the anointing
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and all that, but the way
she said, can we talk was so,
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I knew that she really did
need to process some stuff.
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So I said, you know
what let's go into the car.
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Because nobody can disturb
us there, just you and I.
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We had one more breakfast
meeting which was the next day
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to do, but we can
talk a little bit before
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we go to bed tonight.
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So we go in the car and
she starts crying, this is
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a homeschooled kid that
had been born and raised in the
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church and had been in
church every day of her life
00:10:00.92\00:10:03.83
just about and two or
three Camp Meeting a year.
00:10:03.86\00:10:06.19
I mean she is the, I would
think, the perfect Christian
00:10:06.22\00:10:11.63
kid, loves God, I thought.
00:10:11.66\00:10:15.56
We got in the car and she
says, I don't even know if
00:10:15.59\00:10:18.75
I believe in God
anymore and I am scared.
00:10:18.78\00:10:21.95
I'm thinking shut up,
you were on the worship team.
00:10:21.98\00:10:27.15
You have been my strength
this week, what do you mean
00:10:27.18\00:10:31.35
you don't know if
you believe in God?
00:10:31.38\00:10:33.11
What do you mean that you
are doubting that He exists?
00:10:33.14\00:10:35.07
Or that you are doubting
for sure that He loves you?
00:10:35.10\00:10:37.37
Because she is doing
something that maybe 18-year-old
00:10:37.40\00:10:40.00
kids do, she's starting
to do her hair different,
00:10:40.03\00:10:43.14
dressing a little cooler or
whatever and someone told her
00:10:43.17\00:10:45.91
keep that up and you'll
lose your relationship with God.
00:10:45.94\00:10:49.33
All she was doing was trying
on a different color maybe,
00:10:49.36\00:10:51.90
if you know what I mean?
00:10:51.93\00:10:53.04
So she was afraid, and the
whole time she is saying, Cheri
00:10:53.07\00:10:57.11
I need you to tell me something.
00:10:57.14\00:10:58.56
I need you to
share with me something.
00:10:58.59\00:11:01.86
I'm thinking, man,
that is a lot of pressure.
00:11:01.89\00:11:06.42
You know I have two brain
cells, I don't know if I can
00:11:06.45\00:11:10.61
share with her anything.
00:11:10.64\00:11:12.17
So I prayed, God give me
something to share with her.
00:11:12.20\00:11:14.88
Do you know what He
told me to share with her?
00:11:14.91\00:11:17.19
It was crazy. Angela,
tonight you and I are going to
00:11:17.22\00:11:22.35
pray together before we
leave, we are going to pray
00:11:22.38\00:11:25.04
together tonight
before we go to sleep.
00:11:25.07\00:11:26.92
Me at my hotel you at
your house and in the morning
00:11:26.95\00:11:28.92
we are going to pray
together in the morning.
00:11:28.95\00:11:30.42
You at your house, and me
at my hotel that God tells
00:11:30.45\00:11:32.90
you a joke
tomorrow. She was like what?
00:11:32.93\00:11:36.21
My whole life is falling
apart and you're saying that God
00:11:38.14\00:11:41.72
is going to tell me a
joke? Does God even tell jokes?
00:11:41.75\00:11:44.01
I could see this in her,
she was like I want words of
00:11:44.04\00:11:48.46
wisdom, I want you
to say, the Bible says.
00:11:48.49\00:11:51.49
And I said that is what I feel
like God has said, to let Him
00:11:51.52\00:11:56.72
tell you a joke. She was
like, okay and we separated.
00:11:56.75\00:12:00.59
I pray like crazy
that night, because that is
00:12:00.62\00:12:02.71
the craziest council I
think I have ever given.
00:12:02.74\00:12:04.90
So she goes home, she prays
and the next day she gets up
00:12:04.93\00:12:08.66
and her mom wants to
go to Wal-Mart before
00:12:08.69\00:12:11.40
she comes back to Camp Meeting.
00:12:11.43\00:12:12.91
So she ends up going over
there, her mom is shopping.
00:12:12.94\00:12:17.34
Angela decides she is a
little bored walking along
00:12:17.37\00:12:20.47
with her mom so she goes
to the video section and going
00:12:20.50\00:12:22.89
through some videos just
looking at titles and stuff.
00:12:22.92\00:12:25.83
This little boy
comes running up to her.
00:12:25.86\00:12:27.74
Hey! He's like five, six years
old. Do you have a quarter?
00:12:27.77\00:12:32.16
Angela is, what?
Do you have a quarter?
00:12:32.19\00:12:36.05
She says, did your mom
say she wouldn't give you
00:12:36.08\00:12:39.19
a quarter? He says,
yeah but do you have one?
00:12:39.22\00:12:41.09
She said, you are like
a genius. If my mom said
00:12:41.12\00:12:45.17
I couldn't get a quarter I
just thought I didn't have a
00:12:45.20\00:12:47.65
quarter, but are you going
to ask everybody in Wal-Mart?
00:12:47.68\00:12:49.41
Pretty soon you will
probably be a millionaire,
00:12:49.44\00:12:52.16
you are going to run
for President someday,
00:12:52.19\00:12:54.06
that is the coolest
thing I've ever seen.
00:12:54.09\00:12:56.11
After she said all of this,
this little kid is standing
00:12:56.14\00:12:59.40
there waiting for his quarter.
00:12:59.43\00:13:00.97
She says, I don't have a
quarter. He was like, I waited
00:13:01.00\00:13:04.55
through all of this and
you don't even have a quarter?
00:13:04.58\00:13:06.96
He walks away, and she said
he was so cute that she said
00:13:06.99\00:13:11.24
I have a quarter, so he
runs back up and she gives him
00:13:11.27\00:13:14.18
a quarter and he runs away.
00:13:14.21\00:13:17.30
So she says, she just laughed
at that and goes and gets
00:13:17.33\00:13:20.71
her mom, they get in the
car and stop in a Taco Bell or
00:13:20.74\00:13:23.90
something, they get a burrito.
00:13:23.93\00:13:25.36
While she was in line, she
says I hear God say through
00:13:25.39\00:13:29.50
the Holy Spirit;
Angela, I have quarters.
00:13:29.53\00:13:33.11
She says, but why
would You give them to me?
00:13:33.14\00:13:35.89
He says, because you are
so cute, all you have to do
00:13:35.92\00:13:39.78
is asked Me, and she
started laughing so loud.
00:13:39.81\00:13:42.78
She came running up to
Camp Meeting, running across the
00:13:42.81\00:13:47.35
grass to the tent I was in.
00:13:47.38\00:13:49.17
Cheri, God has quarters.
I thought how funny is that?
00:13:49.20\00:13:54.47
It changed her
life. It changed her life!
00:13:54.50\00:13:58.22
This kid now, a couple of
years later, is into evangelism
00:13:58.25\00:14:02.21
and she is talking at churches.
00:14:02.24\00:14:04.28
She is so on fire for
God, it is unbelievable.
00:14:04.31\00:14:07.34
Somebody may not agree
with the next thing she did,
00:14:07.37\00:14:10.13
she loves the Hanson
brothers, I don't even know who
00:14:10.16\00:14:12.43
they are but it is a
boy band. She loves them and
00:14:12.46\00:14:15.44
thinks they are
adorable and she has tickets
00:14:15.47\00:14:17.42
to go see the Hanson brothers.
00:14:17.45\00:14:19.05
She said how fun is this,
I had these tickets and it is
00:14:19.08\00:14:22.52
so cool and now she is so
living her life for God that
00:14:22.55\00:14:25.52
it is amazing, and she
feels like the book we have been
00:14:25.55\00:14:29.04
going through,' Steps To
Christ', she feels like she
00:14:29.07\00:14:31.32
wants to give that book to
one of the Hanson brothers.
00:14:31.35\00:14:35.02
You know this is a huge
band, so she may not even talk
00:14:35.05\00:14:38.57
to them for sure, there
are thousands of kids going to
00:14:38.60\00:14:41.80
this concert and God
says, sign it to him.
00:14:41.83\00:14:44.39
Sign it to him! So she
goes ahead and signs it to him
00:14:44.42\00:14:48.13
and puts the book in her
bag and goes to the concert.
00:14:48.16\00:14:50.47
Forgets the bag, and her
and her friends are walking
00:14:50.50\00:14:53.95
towards the door and
she said I forgot my bag.
00:14:53.98\00:14:56.88
She goes back, everybody
else goes on to find their seats
00:14:56.91\00:15:00.44
and she is going back
to the car to get her bag.
00:15:00.47\00:15:02.22
She gets her bag and
she remembers the book
00:15:02.25\00:15:05.24
she was going to give to
the guy and laughs at herself.
00:15:05.27\00:15:07.80
I'm never going to see this
guy how stupid it is to sign
00:15:07.83\00:15:11.42
a book and think
that I'm going to see him.
00:15:11.45\00:15:13.89
She grabs the bag and
turns around and the tour bus
00:15:13.92\00:15:16.95
pulls up, the tour bus pulls up.
00:15:16.98\00:15:21.07
The first person that walks
off the tour bus is the one
00:15:21.10\00:15:25.51
guy that she wrote the
book to. 'Steps To Christ'
00:15:25.54\00:15:28.82
she had signed it already,
and she started laughing.
00:15:28.85\00:15:31.44
She wanted to sob because
she wanted to say, God how good
00:15:31.47\00:15:34.72
are You to us?
How much You love us.
00:15:34.75\00:15:37.20
We don't even have a clue.
00:15:37.23\00:15:38.56
So she tells the guy, you
are not going to believe this
00:15:38.59\00:15:41.30
but I have a book for you,
I actually signed it thinking
00:15:41.33\00:15:43.91
I would run into you and
thinking how stupid that is.
00:15:43.94\00:15:46.75
Angela talks even more
than I do, faster than I do.
00:15:46.78\00:15:49.59
She's going through this
whole thing, and the guy says
00:15:49.62\00:15:51.70
you didn't sign it already.
No I did. He says, show me.
00:15:51.73\00:15:55.94
So she gives him the book,
it is already signed to him.
00:15:55.97\00:15:59.64
He is a Christian.
00:15:59.67\00:16:01.09
They talk about
Christ for about 20 minutes.
00:16:01.12\00:16:03.57
Angela said when they were
done she goes into the concert
00:16:03.60\00:16:06.67
and sits and says she doesn't
remember the concert at all.
00:16:06.70\00:16:09.07
The whole time I
was just glorifying God.
00:16:09.10\00:16:12.79
God who knows who I am, who
knows this 19 year old girl,
00:16:12.82\00:16:16.88
18 year old girl knows
exactly where she is at.
00:16:16.91\00:16:19.60
Knows that she
needed a joke, just a joke.
00:16:19.63\00:16:22.38
Tell me You are there and
that you know how many hairs
00:16:22.41\00:16:25.04
are on my head, even as
they are falling out Annette.
00:16:25.07\00:16:28.53
We are going to bring in
our guest and we are going
00:16:30.25\00:16:33.41
to talk about who God is,
what do we do with our doubts?
00:16:33.44\00:16:38.20
The guest that I'm going
to bring in is Becky Olsen and
00:16:38.23\00:16:40.92
Sharon, and I'm not going
to try to say the last name.
00:16:40.95\00:16:44.62
She will tell us
when she comes on.
00:16:44.65\00:16:45.93
So Becky wrote a book called,'
The Hat That Saved My Life.'
00:16:45.96\00:16:49.27
I love that, so stay
with us and you will find out
00:16:49.30\00:16:52.48
what the book is all about
and who these two ladies are.
00:16:52.51\00:16:55.27
We want to introduce
you to a beautiful book
00:17:00.40\00:17:02.59
called 'Steps To Christ'.
00:17:02.62\00:17:04.28
Each program in this
series is based on a different
00:17:04.31\00:17:06.76
chapter showing you how
to become a Christian and
00:17:06.79\00:17:09.77
gain victory
over your addictions.
00:17:09.80\00:17:11.64
'Steps To Christ' is our
gift to you free of charge.
00:17:11.67\00:17:15.12
Just call us at:
00:17:15.15\00:17:17.41
Welcome back, when faced with
doubt, how do you handle it?
00:17:33.81\00:17:36.64
What about when you are
told that you have a life
00:17:36.67\00:17:39.82
threatening disease? An illness.
00:17:39.85\00:17:42.01
Becky Olsen and Sharon Henison
are here to tell us their
00:17:42.05\00:17:44.52
story and how faithful God is.
00:17:44.55\00:17:46.82
Becky and Sharon, I want
to say thank you so much for
00:17:46.85\00:17:50.38
coming on the show. - thank you.
00:17:50.41\00:17:52.12
You have an organization
called Best Friends and that is
00:17:52.15\00:17:54.33
how we met Becky.
- yeah, yeah we do.
00:17:54.37\00:17:56.38
But before we go there
I have tell you a story.
00:17:56.42\00:17:59.10
When you were talking
about the cotton candy clouds
00:17:59.14\00:18:01.56
earlier, it reminded me
of something that happened
00:18:01.60\00:18:04.20
recently. I do a lot of
speaking around the country.
00:18:04.23\00:18:07.26
I was on the third leg of
a very long tour I was doing.
00:18:07.29\00:18:10.20
I missed my connection and
ended in is very little tiny
00:18:10.23\00:18:13.10
town in Kansas. So they
had to fly me to Wichita.
00:18:13.14\00:18:15.64
I was really frustrated, I
was tired, I was getting cranky
00:18:15.68\00:18:19.02
and I got in the rental
car and had to drive 200 miles
00:18:19.05\00:18:22.36
yet. - 200 miles? - 200 miles.
00:18:22.40\00:18:25.10
It was I thought okay,
Lord I know things happen for
00:18:25.14\00:18:29.37
a reason, and I am not
quite getting this one.
00:18:29.40\00:18:32.10
I was trying to
figure out what was going on.
00:18:32.14\00:18:34.77
I said Lord show me a
blessing, I know it is here.
00:18:34.80\00:18:37.42
I know there is blessings
and I am not seeing this one.
00:18:37.46\00:18:39.73
Would You just share it with me?
00:18:39.76\00:18:41.23
Moments later, I mean seconds
later the sky opened up and
00:18:41.26\00:18:44.66
I saw the most beautiful
sunset I had ever seen in my
00:18:44.70\00:18:48.54
life, those pink beautiful
clouds and I said, thank you.
00:18:48.58\00:18:51.81
I was actually able to use
that in my speech the next day.
00:18:51.84\00:18:55.04
It was great. - and you
know what is fun about that?
00:18:55.07\00:18:57.74
Is that, were you overwhelmed
with worship? - yeah.
00:18:57.78\00:19:00.74
- just like you know that
God spoke to me, I know He is
00:19:00.78\00:19:03.74
present, and that for
somebody who hasn't felt that
00:19:03.77\00:19:06.70
I just ask, pray about it
and ask God because I think
00:19:06.74\00:19:11.10
He wants to do
that for us every day.
00:19:11.13\00:19:13.39
When we actually get used
to hearing the sound of His
00:19:13.42\00:19:16.48
voice, how He speaks
to us, and in what way?
00:19:16.52\00:19:18.73
It is not only through the
Scriptures, even though the
00:19:18.76\00:19:21.17
word of God is powerful,
but it is through nature,
00:19:21.21\00:19:23.55
through our friends, and
all of that that God will say,
00:19:23.58\00:19:26.75
ask Me and then look.
00:19:26.78\00:19:29.00
I am talking to you. You
know Becky I know you're whole
00:19:29.03\00:19:34.16
story, and I love you, but
can you tell us what happened?
00:19:34.19\00:19:38.43
Where did you come from?
When you were diagnosed, I know
00:19:38.46\00:19:42.66
you were diagnosed
with cancer, what happened?
00:19:42.69\00:19:45.19
But first set us up, who were
you prior to this diagnosis?
00:19:45.22\00:19:49.08
Well I was working in a
very large corporation, I was
00:19:49.12\00:19:52.80
a salesperson and my whole
focus at that point in time was
00:19:52.83\00:19:56.78
just been a very
successful salesperson.
00:19:56.82\00:19:58.94
I was actually commuting
for a while, my family lived
00:19:58.98\00:20:02.56
about 275 miles
from where my job was.
00:20:02.59\00:20:05.58
So I had to commute.
- that's a huge commute.
00:20:05.61\00:20:08.17
That's huge yeah, and I went
up on Sunday to work and then
00:20:08.20\00:20:11.26
I went home on Friday and it
was tough because during that
00:20:11.30\00:20:15.13
time, I would focus on
work 14-16 hrs a day, every day.
00:20:15.16\00:20:19.07
I had no other reason not
to, and then I would drive home
00:20:19.11\00:20:22.43
and see the kids and leave
on Sunday and would be pulling
00:20:22.47\00:20:25.75
at my heartstrings, mommy
don't go, mommy has to go.
00:20:25.79\00:20:28.53
Because at that time I
was the sole support, I have
00:20:28.56\00:20:31.23
myself, my husband, and five
kids so I had to really work
00:20:31.27\00:20:34.40
hard to make that happen.
00:20:34.43\00:20:35.75
I really develops bad habits.
- I'm sorry I have to say
00:20:35.78\00:20:38.84
five kids? - yeah. -
ouch. That is a lot of kids.
00:20:38.88\00:20:43.10
Yeah that is quite a
few, but. - okay go ahead but
00:20:43.14\00:20:47.29
I just had to say something.
- I've got three grandkids
00:20:47.33\00:20:49.59
now too and they are beautiful.
00:20:49.63\00:20:50.63
But anyway, so I did that
commute and I really build
00:20:50.66\00:20:53.55
some bad habits so when we
finally did move the family
00:20:53.58\00:20:56.71
up, I was so focused on my
job and the job was the only
00:20:56.74\00:20:59.83
thing that mattered to me.
00:20:59.87\00:21:00.97
Every morning I would go
in, I checked the numbers,
00:21:01.01\00:21:03.29
they would always post
the sales results on the wall.
00:21:03.32\00:21:05.56
The only thing that mattered
was that I was number one.
00:21:05.59\00:21:07.80
It was very, very
wrong of me to be that way,
00:21:07.83\00:21:10.93
but that is how I was. -
that was your personality,
00:21:10.97\00:21:13.09
you were out there
driven? - totally, totally.
00:21:13.13\00:21:15.46
Completely, so that is
where I was and when I got
00:21:15.49\00:21:17.75
diagnosed with breast
cancer, it came out of the blue.
00:21:17.79\00:21:20.64
- did you go in
because you felt some lumps,
00:21:20.67\00:21:23.67
did you go in
because you were concerned?
00:21:23.70\00:21:26.63
No not at that point, I
was actually concerned because
00:21:26.66\00:21:28.76
I had some weight issues
and I was going in to work with
00:21:28.79\00:21:31.81
a naturopathic physician
and she wanted to do an exam.
00:21:31.84\00:21:34.83
She did a breast
exam, a clinical exam.
00:21:34.86\00:21:37.25
She said Becky when
was your last mammogram?
00:21:37.28\00:21:40.45
I said seven years ago,
because I had found a lump 7
00:21:40.49\00:21:42.71
years ago and they
said, it was fibrous tissue
00:21:42.74\00:21:44.76
and don't worry
about it. So I didn't.
00:21:44.79\00:21:46.91
They didn't mean ever,
don't ever look at this again.
00:21:46.94\00:21:49.83
I didn't worry about
this, but what happened was that
00:21:49.86\00:21:52.71
tumor. - you know I
just have to say for anybody
00:21:52.74\00:21:55.50
listening, is that get exams,
get your examinations done.
00:21:55.54\00:21:58.95
Because you know what I
used to do? A doctor would look
00:21:58.99\00:22:02.24
at me serious and say,
Cheri when was your last exam?
00:22:02.28\00:22:05.50
I would say, oh last
year. Well I never had one.
00:22:05.53\00:22:08.20
I don't know why we have
to lie to them, but it is like
00:22:08.24\00:22:10.98
being able to say,
those things are important.
00:22:11.01\00:22:13.18
So go on, I just wanted to know,
if someone is listening, those
00:22:13.21\00:22:18.74
early interventions are
really a big deal. - they are.
00:22:18.77\00:22:21.70
They are because over the
seven year period, if I had
00:22:21.73\00:22:24.77
been checked once a year
during that time, they probably
00:22:24.81\00:22:27.82
would have found it
starting to develop.
00:22:27.85\00:22:29.63
A little tumor had developed
and gotten quite large.
00:22:29.66\00:22:32.38
My nurse practitioner had
concerns about the way it felt.
00:22:32.41\00:22:35.59
So she wouldn't let me
leave without the appointment.
00:22:35.62\00:22:39.16
I had the appointment
scheduled for first thing in the
00:22:39.20\00:22:42.26
morning, I had my suit on
and everything ready to go.
00:22:42.29\00:22:44.55
- I've got to go to
work. - I've got a go to work.
00:22:44.59\00:22:46.78
I've got an appointment at
9:30, let's get this thing over
00:22:46.81\00:22:49.48
with, and then when they kept
me there, and kept me there.
00:22:49.51\00:22:52.02
The Doctor wants to get
another view and we are going to
00:22:52.05\00:22:54.85
do an ultrasound. Then
they put me on the ultrasound
00:22:54.88\00:22:57.64
machine and I saw what they saw.
00:22:57.67\00:23:00.23
It look like this alien
monster with little fingers and
00:23:00.27\00:23:03.39
it was attached, it was quite
large and it just scared me.
00:23:03.42\00:23:06.51
So badly, and I was so
focused on career and job that
00:23:06.55\00:23:11.59
really didn't
have time for this.
00:23:11.62\00:23:13.98
But when it finally hit
me, it knocked me to my knees
00:23:14.02\00:23:17.79
literally, it brought me
probably for the first time in
00:23:17.82\00:23:21.04
awhile to my knees, when I
prayed and said, why me God?
00:23:21.07\00:23:24.76
It was really, really hard,
and if it wasn't for friends.
00:23:24.80\00:23:28.45
You know what is really
amazing, and I don't want to
00:23:28.49\00:23:32.44
discount what you felt at
that time, but God is so gentle
00:23:32.48\00:23:35.86
that He doesn't give
us the list of why me?
00:23:35.89\00:23:37.63
We asked that question,
he says, well you're a type A
00:23:37.67\00:23:40.84
person, you have not taken
care of yourself, you're not
00:23:40.87\00:23:44.01
eating right for
the last 10 years.
00:23:44.04\00:23:46.08
You know I think He is gentle
with us because He lets us
00:23:46.12\00:23:49.06
ask those questions.
00:23:49.10\00:23:50.65
What did I do wrong? Why
not somebody that doesn't have
00:23:50.68\00:23:55.16
a career? But
your thing is why me?
00:23:55.20\00:23:59.14
Did you end up going in
to work, or did you go home?
00:23:59.18\00:24:02.18
I went home, I actually set
out my car and waited for the
00:24:02.22\00:24:04.90
tears to stop so I could call
my husband on my cell phone.
00:24:04.94\00:24:07.52
I told him and he offered
to come get me, but I said no,
00:24:07.56\00:24:10.11
I will see you at home.
00:24:10.14\00:24:11.11
It was really quite
intense, it wasn't a good thing.
00:24:11.12\00:24:15.93
I don't know where it really all
kind of turned around for me,
00:24:15.96\00:24:20.74
but my friend
Sharon had a big part.
00:24:20.77\00:24:23.90
I have to say Sharon, you
had gone through breast cancer
00:24:23.94\00:24:27.08
before you guys were friends.
00:24:27.11\00:24:28.72
- right three years before.
00:24:28.76\00:24:30.30
Okay, so talk about that.
She called you for support.
00:24:30.34\00:24:33.08
Yeah, basically what
happened to me, I was diagnosed
00:24:33.11\00:24:35.82
two weeks after I
turned 40 and I was one of the
00:24:35.86\00:24:39.96
first one in my circle
of friends to be diagnosed
00:24:39.99\00:24:44.06
with something like this.
00:24:44.10\00:24:45.34
And I had amazing support
at first. Lots of well-wishers.
00:24:45.38\00:24:51.79
You know cards, flowers,
everything at the hospital,
00:24:51.82\00:24:55.01
but unfortunately we
all get busy in our lives.
00:24:55.04\00:24:59.70
Especially I've worked
right alongside of Becky in that
00:24:59.74\00:25:03.05
same kind of
stressful environment.
00:25:03.08\00:25:05.13
Absolutely! So it's a
completely different kind of
00:25:05.16\00:25:09.43
environment and when you
are put into that situation,
00:25:09.47\00:25:13.84
all of a sudden you are
diagnosed with something like
00:25:13.87\00:25:18.30
this, it allows you, and
I believe God allows us to
00:25:18.33\00:25:21.93
reflect on our life at
that point because what really
00:25:21.97\00:25:26.06
is important and how you
are going to continue on in
00:25:26.09\00:25:30.15
your life from there.
00:25:30.18\00:25:32.85
So anyway, three years
later Becky was diagnosed with
00:25:32.88\00:25:36.69
breast cancer and I knew
how it felt to go through that.
00:25:36.72\00:25:40.49
And so I did a few
little things for her that were
00:25:40.53\00:25:45.46
helpful, bringing over a
milkshake, then she's going to
00:25:45.49\00:25:49.68
discount that. - What did
she do what did she offer you?
00:25:49.71\00:25:52.87
I know it probably seems
little when you think about it,
00:25:52.91\00:25:55.65
but it is the little things
that add up that makes such
00:25:55.69\00:25:58.40
a huge difference.
She was there for me.
00:25:58.43\00:26:00.40
She called me all
the time to check on me.
00:26:00.44\00:26:02.33
She would bring thee
milkshakes on chemotherapy days
00:26:02.37\00:26:04.87
because it was the
one thing I could stomach.
00:26:04.90\00:26:07.63
Well let me ask you
Sharon, to explain why?
00:26:07.67\00:26:10.33
Because when I talk with
you the first time Becky,
00:26:10.36\00:26:13.33
one of the things you
said is that people will say,
00:26:13.36\00:26:16.93
if you need anything call
me. - right, right, right.
00:26:16.97\00:26:20.50
And we don't, we
don't call anybody.
00:26:20.53\00:26:23.16
I don't say, you know what
I don't even think I'm going
00:26:23.20\00:26:26.40
to survive today, I
don't think I'm going to get
00:26:26.44\00:26:28.99
through the day, I'm so
scared and I call nobody,
00:26:29.02\00:26:31.54
I can sit there by myself.
00:26:31.57\00:26:32.90
You knew she was going
to do that. - absolutely!
00:26:32.93\00:26:35.59
To talk about that you guys.
00:26:35.62\00:26:37.07
Okay, I won't tell a
little bit about her situation
00:26:37.10\00:26:40.19
because I was her friend,
cancer which is so foreign
00:26:40.23\00:26:43.28
to me and the concept
of cancer was foreign.
00:26:43.32\00:26:45.25
I was one of those
wonderful friends who said with
00:26:45.28\00:26:47.93
every best intention,
Sharon and let me know
00:26:47.96\00:26:50.16
if there's anything
I can do to help, okay?
00:26:50.19\00:26:52.32
Absolutely! - and she
said, she didn't call me and
00:26:52.35\00:26:55.15
I'm thinking she didn't
call me she must be okay.
00:26:55.19\00:26:57.92
She must have friends, people
that are meeting those needs.
00:26:57.95\00:27:01.11
She has a husband and a
daughter but during the day
00:27:01.15\00:27:03.46
they are at work and
school and Sharon is home alone.
00:27:03.50\00:27:05.89
But I didn't think about
what that would feel like
00:27:05.92\00:27:08.28
because I had no
clue, I just had no clue.
00:27:08.31\00:27:10.61
So when I was
diagnosed, she knew and
00:27:10.65\00:27:12.88
I am a very social person,
I like to talk to people.
00:27:12.92\00:27:15.34
You know you sit around
and wait for the phone to ring
00:27:15.37\00:27:17.76
and actually hope a
telephone solicitor calls
00:27:17.79\00:27:20.04
because somebody cares, oh ouch!
00:27:20.07\00:27:23.83
But she would call me and
come by with those milkshakes
00:27:23.87\00:27:26.94
as I mentioned and, in
fact we were in school together.
00:27:26.98\00:27:30.31
We were both taking classes
at college and we continued
00:27:30.34\00:27:33.34
taking algebra together
but I didn't want to go out in
00:27:33.37\00:27:36.34
public and we had to
get math out of the way.
00:27:36.37\00:27:38.53
I did want to go out in
public because of my hair.
00:27:38.57\00:27:40.96
My hair loss for me was
really huge, a big deal.
00:27:41.00\00:27:43.10
And Annette I just
value what you said so much,
00:27:43.14\00:27:45.21
I just wanted to add that.
00:27:45.24\00:27:46.55
It was really a big deal for
me, so Sharon continued to go
00:27:46.58\00:27:51.43
to class and she would
come to my house the next day
00:27:51.46\00:27:53.40
and teach me what she learned.
00:27:53.44\00:27:54.87
I would do my homework
and she would turn in for me.
00:27:54.90\00:27:57.54
The teacher said as long
as we could both make it back
00:27:57.57\00:28:00.18
for the finals then he
would be okay with that.
00:28:00.21\00:28:02.04
We did. That was incredible.
00:28:02.07\00:28:04.98
She was a very good
teacher, she just really stayed
00:28:05.02\00:28:06.69
there for me and
was always there.
00:28:06.73\00:28:08.41
She sent out e-mails,
this is a simple thing to do.
00:28:08.44\00:28:11.00
She sent out a group
distribution e-mail to every
00:28:11.04\00:28:13.56
body on the company e-mail list.
00:28:13.60\00:28:15.36
My address, my phone number,
to say that Becky is going
00:28:15.39\00:28:18.54
through this right now,
and she got my permission first
00:28:18.57\00:28:21.33
of course, but she would
send this out and people would
00:28:21.36\00:28:24.34
start sending me cards
and letters and just amazing
00:28:24.37\00:28:27.32
contacts that I
would not have had,
00:28:27.35\00:28:28.99
hadn't she done that.
00:28:29.03\00:28:30.00
A simple little gesture
that made such a difference.
00:28:30.01\00:28:32.80
You know, the show
was talking about doubt.
00:28:32.84\00:28:36.35
Where you guys
Christian prior to this event,
00:28:36.38\00:28:39.82
and what did you do on
the days you doubted whether
00:28:39.85\00:28:42.62
God was even paying attention?
00:28:42.65\00:28:44.66
Did God know the number of
hairs on your head even as they
00:28:44.69\00:28:48.28
were falling out,
was He still counting?
00:28:48.31\00:28:50.08
Oh yeah, but I forgot though
because I got so wrapped up
00:28:50.11\00:28:54.34
with work, I really
wasn't walking the way I should
00:28:54.38\00:28:57.45
have been walking and I
think that in the beginning
00:28:57.48\00:29:00.26
of my cancer diagnoses it
was really a struggle for me
00:29:00.29\00:29:03.03
because I did ask, why me?
00:29:03.07\00:29:05.09
It was very selfish to ask
that but I just wanted to know.
00:29:05.13\00:29:09.24
But over time. - I don't
even know if that is selfish
00:29:09.27\00:29:12.92
because I just want to say
even when I get blessed I want
00:29:12.96\00:29:16.57
to say God why me? So I
think the question is okay.
00:29:16.60\00:29:21.99
It might feel selfish
I'm sure. - yeah and it did.
00:29:22.03\00:29:27.35
It did when I was going
through that, but when I started
00:29:27.38\00:29:30.31
seeing the love
surrounding me, and I did pray.
00:29:30.34\00:29:33.56
I prayed for blessings,
I prayed for healing, and
00:29:33.59\00:29:36.74
I would be blessed with
little things that would happen
00:29:36.78\00:29:39.26
throughout the day, God
would send people my way or
00:29:39.30\00:29:41.72
He would send a phone call
my way, or send a letter my way.
00:29:41.75\00:29:44.85
Just the right
message at the right moment.
00:29:44.88\00:29:47.17
Okay stop right now, what
about when He sent you a hat?
00:29:47.21\00:29:50.23
I want to hear that story?
00:29:50.27\00:29:52.28
That was really great,
well as I said, I struggled with
00:29:52.31\00:29:54.57
the hair loss. I
have a friend Patty.
00:29:54.60\00:29:56.61
I love Patty to death.
She called me one day it was
00:29:56.65\00:29:58.81
the fourth of
July, Independence Day.
00:29:58.85\00:30:00.39
Which was a unique
day to have this happen.
00:30:00.43\00:30:02.32
She said Becky are you
going to be home in an hour?
00:30:02.36\00:30:04.53
I said yeah, why? She
says I have a gift for you.
00:30:04.56\00:30:06.70
I said great, I'm
here and I had my scarf on.
00:30:06.73\00:30:10.43
So she came over to my
house and she hands me this bag
00:30:10.47\00:30:13.25
and is holding it like this.
00:30:13.28\00:30:14.77
She says I'm not going
to give this to you until
00:30:14.81\00:30:16.27
you promise you will take
this with a sense of humor.
00:30:16.30\00:30:18.60
Well now I'm
going ah, what is it?
00:30:18.63\00:30:21.31
She say will my husband
found it in a catalog, and I
00:30:21.35\00:30:24.55
know her husband and he is
crazy, fun crazy, love him.
00:30:24.59\00:30:28.00
I thought oh if Dennis found
it, my gosh I couldn't think
00:30:28.04\00:30:31.28
what it would be.
00:30:31.32\00:30:32.52
So she hands me this sack
and I opened it up and started
00:30:32.56\00:30:35.01
to get a lump forming
in the back of my throat.
00:30:35.04\00:30:36.99
What I saw inside this bag,
it just took my breath away.
00:30:37.03\00:30:41.07
I looked at the thing
and ran to the bathroom and
00:30:41.11\00:30:43.63
pulled off my scarf and
pulled this hat out of the bag,
00:30:43.67\00:30:46.45
I wish I had it with me.
00:30:46.48\00:30:47.45
It was in little white
and black baseball cap.
00:30:47.46\00:30:50.17
Has stick figures of
bald-headed people on it,
00:30:50.20\00:30:53.48
all over it. There
is spacey cadet looking.
00:30:53.51\00:30:56.75
And it said no
hair day in the front.
00:30:56.78\00:30:58.79
I put that hat on my head
and for the first time I was
00:30:58.83\00:31:01.81
able to look at my reflection
in the mirror and smiled
00:31:01.84\00:31:05.33
back. - Amen. So what is
really interesting is that
00:31:05.36\00:31:08.04
I have not been able to
find that hat ever since.
00:31:08.07\00:31:10.68
Talk about when you went
to the store with that hat on.
00:31:10.71\00:31:13.32
You know the very next
day I got up and actually got
00:31:13.36\00:31:15.66
dressed and put some
makeup on, put my dress on,
00:31:15.70\00:31:17.93
and put my hand on and I
walked into the grocery store.
00:31:17.96\00:31:20.26
- it was the first time
that you really ventured out.
00:31:20.29\00:31:23.19
- yes, and I thought I don't
know what's going to happen
00:31:23.22\00:31:26.08
but I am brave and
I'm going to do this.
00:31:26.11\00:31:27.91
I went into the store, people
were smiling as they walked
00:31:27.94\00:31:30.94
by my cart and they
would kind of smile.
00:31:30.97\00:31:32.76
Instead of talking about
me they would actually look
00:31:32.80\00:31:36.49
at me any knowledge it.
00:31:36.52\00:31:37.93
I was standing in the
line at the store and there was
00:31:37.97\00:31:39.81
this man standing in
front of me, I won't go
00:31:39.84\00:31:41.41
into all that detail.
00:31:41.45\00:31:42.42
But he turned around and
looked at me and he said,
00:31:42.43\00:31:44.48
cool hat but why
did you shave your head?
00:31:44.52\00:31:47.40
I'm trying to capture my
sense of humor that was coming
00:31:49.86\00:31:52.47
back to me and I looked at
him and said, well I didn't
00:31:52.50\00:31:55.08
actually shave
it, Captain chemo did.
00:31:55.11\00:31:57.06
I began trying to be funny,
and he goes oh and he turned
00:31:57.10\00:32:01.46
his back to me,
completely turned away from me.
00:32:01.49\00:32:03.54
You could feel the pressure
in the line. - that was too
00:32:03.57\00:32:06.19
much for people. - oh too
much for everybody and then
00:32:06.23\00:32:08.81
he turned back and
he said, is it working?
00:32:08.85\00:32:11.45
And I said hey, so far so
good. And I do believe again
00:32:11.49\00:32:15.07
that things happen for a
reason and I think that whole
00:32:15.11\00:32:17.94
conversation that took
place happened for the woman at
00:32:17.97\00:32:20.77
the counter because
the gal that worked at
00:32:20.81\00:32:23.03
the checkout as a clerk,
when I got up there she said
00:32:23.07\00:32:25.59
you got a great attitude.
I said hey, it's the hat.
00:32:25.62\00:32:28.26
She said my mom is going
through breast cancer and she
00:32:28.29\00:32:30.90
is losing her hair
and is really depressed.
00:32:30.93\00:32:32.50
Where did you get your
hat? So I pulled it off my head
00:32:32.54\00:32:35.37
in the middle of the
store, I would not have done
00:32:35.41\00:32:37.08
that the day before.
00:32:37.12\00:32:38.38
We are looking at the
label trying to find it and
00:32:38.42\00:32:40.41
we have never
been able to find it.
00:32:40.45\00:32:42.45
The really neat thing
that kind of launched from that
00:32:42.49\00:32:44.95
was the always thought
when did it have been great if
00:32:44.98\00:32:47.24
I could have gone out to
my car, said I would be right
00:32:47.28\00:32:49.60
back, got her a hat and
brought it in a gave it to her?
00:32:49.64\00:32:51.92
That launched our hat's project.
00:32:51.96\00:32:54.09
We had also shortly after
that, you guys got together
00:32:54.13\00:32:57.88
and decided to do a
ministry called Breast Friends.
00:32:57.91\00:33:00.95
Tell us a little bit about
that and how it got started.
00:33:00.98\00:33:03.98
Absolutely, and
Becky had a scare in 2000.
00:33:04.02\00:33:08.86
We were sitting at lunch
waiting for the results of her
00:33:08.90\00:33:12.89
biopsy. - this was after
the original cancer starting.
00:33:12.92\00:33:16.88
- right. - then you
come through that and now
00:33:16.91\00:33:19.65
you are looking at
maybe it coming back. - yes.
00:33:19.68\00:33:22.43
Exactly, and of course
it is a very scary thing.
00:33:22.47\00:33:25.15
So we were sitting and having
one of those conversations
00:33:25.18\00:33:30.12
about the meaning of life,
and why did God allow us to
00:33:30.15\00:33:35.05
survive this really?
00:33:35.09\00:33:37.14
We decided at that point
that Breast Friends needed to
00:33:37.17\00:33:42.72
be born right then.
00:33:42.76\00:33:45.54
It was one of those situations
where the information about
00:33:45.57\00:33:49.98
support just wasn't there
for women and their friends and
00:33:50.02\00:33:54.39
family, they
didn't know how to help.
00:33:54.43\00:33:56.38
Nobody knows what
to say, what to do.
00:33:56.41\00:33:58.21
They don't know
what to say, exactly.
00:33:58.24\00:33:59.96
Do I come over a lot,
are you tired, do you want me
00:34:00.00\00:34:02.96
not to come over, I mean people
really have all those questions.
00:34:03.00\00:34:06.39
Totally fear and they
don't want to intrude which is
00:34:06.42\00:34:09.68
important too but at the
same time if you're going to say
00:34:09.72\00:34:12.91
things like call me if you
need something, and then they
00:34:12.95\00:34:16.10
don't call, you think
they are okay like Becky did.
00:34:16.14\00:34:19.16
And they are not - they are not.
00:34:19.20\00:34:22.86
They are very lonely and
probably going through some
00:34:22.89\00:34:25.23
depression. - you know
what is very interesting,
00:34:25.27\00:34:27.87
even I went in and got
a total hip replacement,
00:34:27.91\00:34:30.44
and I'm thinking I was
going to go in and get the hip
00:34:30.48\00:34:32.87
replaced and get back in
the cab and get to the airport,
00:34:32.90\00:34:35.36
I come back home and
everything was going to be fine.
00:34:35.40\00:34:37.83
I really am so
grandiose, it's horrible.
00:34:37.86\00:34:39.99
But I didn't know that I
literally was going to be laid
00:34:40.03\00:34:43.96
up. At first walking with
the walker and trying to do
00:34:43.99\00:34:47.89
all that stuff,
and I was lonely.
00:34:47.93\00:34:50.35
And my Pastor lived on
the other side of me, right?
00:34:50.39\00:34:53.59
Down the street from me,
drove by my house every day
00:34:53.62\00:34:56.52
but didn't know that I
wouldn't call and say come in.
00:34:56.55\00:34:59.41
I really want
someone to pray for me.
00:34:59.45\00:35:01.69
I want someone to tell me
that I'm not going to feel like
00:35:01.72\00:35:04.62
a Mack truck has hit me every
day for the rest of my life.
00:35:04.66\00:35:07.40
That's right, and you know
it is interesting that along
00:35:07.43\00:35:09.97
that line I was speaking at
a church and there was a woman
00:35:10.01\00:35:12.50
there that came up to me
afterwards, and she told me that
00:35:12.54\00:35:15.00
nobody from her church
stepped up to help her.
00:35:15.03\00:35:17.75
I said, did the church
know? - Did you tell them?
00:35:17.78\00:35:20.43
She said, no. I said so, I
felt for that, I mean you have
00:35:20.46\00:35:24.87
to tell somebody, but nobody
in the women's Ministry knew
00:35:24.90\00:35:29.28
that she even had cancer
and so no one knew she needed
00:35:29.32\00:35:33.38
the help, so sometimes I
think as survivors ourselves,
00:35:33.42\00:35:37.44
we have talked this
through, there is two sides.
00:35:37.48\00:35:39.96
As a survivor we need
to be able to reach out
00:35:39.99\00:35:42.40
and know that it is okay to
reach out, and when people do
00:35:42.44\00:35:45.32
offer help, we really encourage
women to accept that help
00:35:45.35\00:35:48.20
because when the help
is offered, we mean it.
00:35:48.24\00:35:50.88
When I said to her call me
if you need me, I really meant
00:35:50.92\00:35:54.16
that and I would have loved to
have done something for her but
00:35:54.19\00:35:57.80
I was busy and she didn't
call so I figured she was okay.
00:35:57.83\00:36:01.42
We are not okay, even if it
just comes down to praying for
00:36:01.45\00:36:05.02
the person and let God provide
the right person for them.
00:36:05.06\00:36:08.59
There are so
many things we can do.
00:36:08.63\00:36:10.95
You know I want to find
out if anybody in the café has
00:36:10.99\00:36:13.61
any questions, and we
are going to open that up.
00:36:13.64\00:36:16.95
Or comments, I know Mike
you have really dealt with
00:36:16.98\00:36:20.42
this in your life, cancer
in your own life, it wasn't
00:36:20.45\00:36:23.85
breast cancer but you
did get hit pretty hard.
00:36:23.88\00:36:26.18
Yeah Cheri, in 1999 my
daughter Arianna came down with
00:36:26.22\00:36:29.91
brain cancer, and
we were devastated.
00:36:29.94\00:36:32.59
For the first couple days
we didn't know what to do.
00:36:32.62\00:36:36.18
The why question
came up quite a bit.
00:36:36.22\00:36:39.77
I feel for the other two
ladies here when they are
00:36:39.80\00:36:43.57
talking about
loosing their hair.
00:36:43.60\00:36:44.74
My daughter through radiation
started losing her hair.
00:36:44.77\00:36:46.28
The doctors had her on steroids
to reduce swelling of the brain,
00:36:46.32\00:36:50.89
the tumor was pushing
on the six cranial nerves
00:36:50.93\00:36:53.53
so her eyes were crossing
and should begin to look like an
00:36:53.56\00:36:56.51
anomaly and people
would look at her differently.
00:36:56.55\00:36:58.33
She noticed that and picked
up on it and she discerned that.
00:36:58.37\00:37:02.67
We would go to church, her
brother and her friends would
00:37:02.71\00:37:06.17
go up for children's story,
and she wouldn't go up because
00:37:06.20\00:37:09.63
she knew how people
were looking at her.
00:37:09.66\00:37:11.26
It was very difficult as
a Father, and as a mother
00:37:11.29\00:37:14.86
sitting in the pew watching
your daughter not wanting to
00:37:14.89\00:37:17.98
go up to the children's
story, she just sat there and
00:37:18.02\00:37:21.13
watched her brother and
her friends listen to the story
00:37:21.17\00:37:24.25
and yet have a
smile on her face.
00:37:24.29\00:37:26.15
You begin to ask that
question, why, why, why?
00:37:26.18\00:37:30.80
Throughout this process
the Lord started working on
00:37:30.83\00:37:34.53
my heart through
the life of my daughter.
00:37:34.57\00:37:37.87
She was the window to
help me see Him better.
00:37:37.91\00:37:41.18
During that time I saw
things I never really would have
00:37:42.99\00:37:47.14
seen before, though you
read in the Bible, and you hear
00:37:47.17\00:37:51.29
it from other people,
unless you experience it
00:37:51.33\00:37:53.07
you really can't have
your feelings attached to it.
00:37:53.10\00:37:57.87
And when she went into her
comma, she was six days into
00:37:57.91\00:38:01.31
a comma and the doctors
said she would go into a comma
00:38:01.35\00:38:04.95
only for 24 hours and
the blood starts slowing down
00:38:04.98\00:38:08.55
pumping throughout the body.
00:38:08.58\00:38:09.84
She went into her comma, and
we waited 24 hours, 48 hours,
00:38:09.88\00:38:13.67
72 hours and she didn't
pass and we were wondering what
00:38:13.71\00:38:17.47
was going on. We were
praying for a miracle because we
00:38:17.51\00:38:21.21
knew that the Lord is strong
enough even at that point,
00:38:21.24\00:38:24.91
He could heal
her if He so chooses.
00:38:24.94\00:38:29.58
The hardest part is not knowing
what His decision is going
00:38:29.61\00:38:34.13
to be, and what took place
was I woke up Thursday morning
00:38:34.16\00:38:38.65
six days later and looked
at her and she was blue-gray.
00:38:38.69\00:38:42.35
A hospice nurse said that
her heart was slowing down and
00:38:42.39\00:38:46.02
not pumping the
blood and then she passed.
00:38:46.05\00:38:48.18
A couple of days later, August
2, we put her in the grave.
00:38:48.22\00:38:52.55
On that day, part of
my son, her older brother,
00:38:52.58\00:38:56.69
apart my wife, and a
part of myself has died.
00:38:56.73\00:39:00.77
There is an empty hole in
her heart this side of the grave
00:39:00.80\00:39:04.19
until that great morning.
00:39:04.22\00:39:06.25
People at the funeral,
when I was there, they asked the
00:39:06.29\00:39:09.76
question, they were saying why?
00:39:09.79\00:39:10.99
One thing God taught me through
the process is that I had
00:39:11.03\00:39:14.61
to say, why not? Which
is very difficult to learn.
00:39:14.64\00:39:19.07
Here His Son was on the cross,
here His prophets have been
00:39:19.11\00:39:22.91
killed, here throughout the
whole word of God we are told
00:39:22.94\00:39:26.45
we will have trials and
tribulations, yet we don't think
00:39:26.48\00:39:29.96
it is going to happen
to us or our loved ones.
00:39:29.99\00:39:32.72
What I have learned is that
when doubts come, if you have
00:39:32.75\00:39:39.38
a vertical relationship
with Jesus, though you may not,
00:39:39.42\00:39:46.02
your questions may not
be answered at that time,
00:39:46.06\00:39:49.99
if you know that He
is faithful and true,
00:39:50.02\00:39:53.01
He will walk you through it.
00:39:53.04\00:39:54.66
If you have placed your
hand in the palm of His hand and
00:39:54.69\00:39:58.49
you know Him every day,
He will walk you through.
00:39:58.53\00:40:01.87
That is what got me through
watching my daughter pass,
00:40:01.90\00:40:07.80
was knowing that Jesus
loved her more than I did.
00:40:07.84\00:40:12.87
Every shot that she
took, He felt the pain.
00:40:12.90\00:40:15.25
Every hair that fell
out of her head, He counted.
00:40:15.29\00:40:19.46
Every time she got on the
radiation table for therapy,
00:40:19.49\00:40:22.44
He was there with
her, when I couldn't be.
00:40:22.48\00:40:24.97
I can place my faith and
my trust in my Savior knowing,
00:40:25.01\00:40:28.36
knowing that
He'll take care of her.
00:40:28.39\00:40:32.06
The way I deal today, even
as a Pastor, the way I deal
00:40:32.09\00:40:35.76
with the situation is I
open up to that great chapter in
00:40:35.79\00:40:40.15
Revelation 21 where it
says there will be no more pain.
00:40:40.18\00:40:44.50
No more sorrow, no more tears.
00:40:44.54\00:40:47.60
She is going to be brought
back some day with no scars.
00:40:47.63\00:40:50.37
She is going to be
brought back to us with no eye
00:40:50.41\00:40:53.66
crossing. She is not
going to be overweight from the
00:40:53.69\00:40:56.53
steroids. I don't need
steroids to get overweight,
00:40:56.57\00:40:59.31
but she did. She is
going to be brought back and
00:40:59.35\00:41:01.83
I don't ever have to
worry, I have a promise and
00:41:01.87\00:41:04.82
I have the security and I
have the predictability of
00:41:04.86\00:41:08.51
the character of God
which He tells me today that
00:41:08.54\00:41:12.16
no one will
touch her ever again.
00:41:12.19\00:41:14.21
She is sealed for
eternity. No one will ever say a
00:41:14.24\00:41:16.42
harmful word to her and she
does not have to be raised in
00:41:16.46\00:41:19.61
this society that will violate
her one way or the other.
00:41:19.65\00:41:22.77
That is how I
deal with my doubt.
00:41:22.80\00:41:24.94
You know I have to say
Pastor that this is an amazing,
00:41:24.97\00:41:28.53
an amazing
thing that you shared.
00:41:28.56\00:41:32.00
I know that you are on
another show and I heard this
00:41:32.04\00:41:34.83
testimony and it has so touched
my heart, actually changed
00:41:34.86\00:41:38.50
the way I view God, and the
way I view even my own self as
00:41:38.53\00:41:42.00
a parent and I want to say
thank you for sharing that with
00:41:42.04\00:41:45.49
us, and thank you for bringing
back to the reality that
00:41:45.53\00:41:48.94
some people will not make it.
00:41:48.98\00:41:50.62
Some people have diseases
that we will not come through.
00:41:50.65\00:41:53.28
You know like Becky and
Sharon have come through your
00:41:53.31\00:41:55.90
breast cancer, some of
us don't come through and
00:41:55.94\00:41:59.44
God is still God,
God is still faithful.
00:41:59.48\00:42:01.69
There is that promise,
you know what, there will be
00:42:01.72\00:42:04.07
a time when all of that is done.
00:42:04.10\00:42:05.66
When I had the biggest
doubt, even about my own
00:42:05.70\00:42:09.75
psychological pains and
hurt that I know that there is a
00:42:09.79\00:42:13.45
time that no child will be
molested, no child will die,
00:42:13.48\00:42:16.73
no family will be torn
apart with all these things.
00:42:16.77\00:42:19.98
I have to say, in my
doubt God keep me there
00:42:20.01\00:42:26.34
and help me to remember that.
00:42:26.38\00:42:27.94
Annette we are talking about all
these difficulties in dealing
00:42:27.98\00:42:34.45
with our faith in Christ,
and our faith in God during an
00:42:34.48\00:42:37.20
illness, you are not in
the middle of your battle with
00:42:37.23\00:42:42.15
cancer, but close to that,
still battling, still getting
00:42:42.19\00:42:47.07
up every day with this battle.
00:42:47.11\00:42:48.77
Talk to us a little bit
about that and do you have any
00:42:48.81\00:42:52.25
comments or questions
you have for Becky or Sharon?
00:42:52.28\00:42:55.65
Cheri just listening to
Mike and these ladies tell their
00:42:55.69\00:42:58.88
experiences, and you are
asking me if I have questions.
00:42:58.92\00:43:03.27
Once you have been through
this, you hear people answering
00:43:03.31\00:43:07.26
all the questions you want
to ask because the experience,
00:43:07.30\00:43:11.22
while they are vastly
different, are vastly similar.
00:43:11.25\00:43:16.02
So much of what you have
said, I have lived as though
00:43:16.06\00:43:20.80
we had already
shared the same body.
00:43:20.83\00:43:22.28
I was watching a special
on the French Revolution with
00:43:22.32\00:43:25.76
Marie Antoinette and a quote
that she said, "tribulation
00:43:25.79\00:43:29.20
makes us know who we are."
00:43:29.23\00:43:32.10
I remember the day that Jay
came home to tell me because
00:43:32.14\00:43:35.83
the doctors called him
first to tell him what was wrong
00:43:35.87\00:43:39.17
with me, I knew I had been
sick and been in bed and that
00:43:39.21\00:43:42.48
I could walk anymore.
00:43:42.51\00:43:43.49
The doctors had called
him and he came home and said,
00:43:43.52\00:43:48.04
sweetie the Doctor called
and there is nothing they can
00:43:48.08\00:43:52.56
do for you, it is
out a man's hands.
00:43:52.60\00:43:54.70
You know you always
wonder what you are going to do
00:43:54.74\00:43:56.82
when you hear those words.
00:43:56.85\00:43:58.59
I figure probably had 60
or 80 days left and amazingly
00:43:58.63\00:44:03.66
the first thought flashed
through my mind was good.
00:44:03.69\00:44:08.96
- about time. - good,
because man's hands mess up
00:44:08.99\00:44:14.24
everything they touch.
I am in imperfect hands.
00:44:14.28\00:44:19.45
I am in the hands of the
being that knows my timetable.
00:44:19.49\00:44:25.38
Who knew me before I
was born. Who knew the days
00:44:25.42\00:44:28.32
He laid out for me.
00:44:28.36\00:44:30.25
He knows whether He wants
me to go to rest and see Him,
00:44:30.29\00:44:34.74
or He wants me to carry
on in some way or another.
00:44:34.78\00:44:38.17
Well that was like being
dropped off the building.
00:44:38.20\00:44:41.52
You know in surviving, if you
survive the fall, you made it.
00:44:41.56\00:44:45.70
Once I hit the ground the
next thought was I'm alive
00:44:45.74\00:44:49.40
and chances are
pretty good I'm going
00:44:49.43\00:44:51.84
to be alive
tomorrow too. Guess what?
00:44:51.87\00:44:54.21
Tomorrow I don't even
have, we'll have this little gap
00:44:54.24\00:44:57.76
of time that we live in,
a little millisecond between
00:44:57.80\00:45:01.29
thought and action.
00:45:01.32\00:45:03.37
So what I think and do and
say today builds my reality for
00:45:03.40\00:45:07.23
tomorrow, our words are so
powerful when we are in doubt.
00:45:07.27\00:45:10.72
They are the building blocks
that we construct our future
00:45:10.76\00:45:14.90
from. - so it sounds like
what you are saying is that
00:45:14.94\00:45:19.01
even having hope make sure
you talk to yourself and really
00:45:19.05\00:45:23.00
hold on to God, because I
just fell from a building and
00:45:23.03\00:45:26.95
the only thing I
know is hey, I'm alive.
00:45:26.98\00:45:29.07
That's it I'm alive. -
really, really know that today
00:45:29.11\00:45:32.11
I'm going to put that
faith in God. - that's right.
00:45:32.15\00:45:35.47
I love the story of
hope that I heard one time.
00:45:35.50\00:45:38.75
There was a little boy standing
in a department store and
00:45:38.78\00:45:41.36
he is watching the handle
of the escalator as it goes
00:45:41.39\00:45:43.93
around and around and around.
00:45:43.97\00:45:46.69
And a salesperson came
up to him and asked him,
00:45:46.73\00:45:48.73
Sonny are you lost, are
you okay? What are you doing?
00:45:48.76\00:45:52.16
Well I am okay, I'm fine
and he is watching it go around
00:45:52.20\00:45:55.56
and she says what are you doing?
00:45:55.60\00:45:57.39
He says, I'm waiting
for my gum to come back.
00:45:57.42\00:45:59.61
That's hope, I'm
waiting for my gum to come back.
00:46:02.08\00:46:04.85
So I use my words every
day to build that hope, to hang
00:46:04.88\00:46:10.97
on, because the Bible
says, our words will snare us or
00:46:11.01\00:46:17.06
our words will build
us, life and death are in
00:46:17.10\00:46:20.58
the power of the tongue.
00:46:20.62\00:46:22.23
There are many references
to that, and it is very true
00:46:22.26\00:46:25.65
if you want to tap into that
power when you are in doubt,
00:46:25.68\00:46:29.03
or dread or fear, you
have to fight the battle.
00:46:29.06\00:46:33.93
For me I was very blessed
because after I got my diagnosis
00:46:33.97\00:46:37.43
the first place I went was
to the bathtub because that
00:46:37.47\00:46:40.90
is where read the Bible.
00:46:40.93\00:46:42.25
I said if anybody every
invents a waterproof Bible,
00:46:42.29\00:46:45.93
I am buying stock
in the company, in fact
00:46:45.97\00:46:48.58
I will own the company.
00:46:48.62\00:46:49.93
I'm in the bathtub up to
my neck in water with my poor
00:46:49.96\00:46:53.44
little Bible that is falling
apart from all the steam over
00:46:53.48\00:46:57.25
the years and I am saying,
God do You have a word for me?
00:46:57.29\00:47:00.43
I know that you are good
God, I know that you meant to
00:47:00.46\00:47:03.73
heal people what it is Your
will, because you gave a self-
00:47:03.76\00:47:07.00
healing bodies, you
gave us an immune system.
00:47:07.03\00:47:09.56
I also know that when it is
a time to go, it is our time to
00:47:09.59\00:47:12.31
go, will You give me
something to hang on to.
00:47:12.34\00:47:15.66
I opened the Bible to Psalms
30 where it says I will extol
00:47:15.69\00:47:18.52
thee oh Lord because you lifted
me up and You brought me back
00:47:18.55\00:47:21.34
from the grave and You
have not sent me to the pit.
00:47:21.38\00:47:23.32
It goes on to talk about
joy comes in the morning and all
00:47:23.36\00:47:28.67
about turning our mourning
into dancing, and our sackcloth
00:47:28.70\00:47:33.98
into gladness and all
these kinds of things.
00:47:34.01\00:47:36.87
And I said, that's pretty
encouraging, then I said Lord,
00:47:36.91\00:47:38.78
what if that is
just a coincidence?
00:47:38.82\00:47:41.84
He kept leading me through
to four scriptures, and each one
00:47:41.88\00:47:45.50
was the first time I
opened up so that it gave me
00:47:45.54\00:47:47.72
something to hang on to
in those moments of doubt.
00:47:47.75\00:47:49.86
That's amazing, what I am
hearing from people at the café
00:47:49.90\00:47:54.44
today is that there are
things that hit us, and hit us
00:47:54.47\00:47:58.97
hard and we do not
escape what's out in the world.
00:47:59.01\00:48:02.06
We do not escape car
accidents, cancer diagnosis,
00:48:02.09\00:48:05.23
and death of children,
we don't escape marriages
00:48:05.27\00:48:08.38
falling apart and
those kinds of things.
00:48:08.41\00:48:10.31
But in that, what Annette
is saying, there is something
00:48:10.35\00:48:13.90
to hold on to,
and to hold onto God.
00:48:13.93\00:48:16.51
He loves my children more
than I love my children, that
00:48:16.54\00:48:20.11
even if it means laying
them down I will see them again.
00:48:20.15\00:48:23.68
I need to
understand that with doubt,
00:48:23.72\00:48:26.60
when it's overwhelming
to me, somehow I need to get
00:48:26.63\00:48:30.27
back into the hands of
God, somehow I need to get back
00:48:30.31\00:48:33.91
into the place of God.
00:48:33.95\00:48:35.50
We've got a few more minutes
and I want you to talk about,
00:48:35.54\00:48:40.43
when I can't do that, what
can friends do, people around me
00:48:40.46\00:48:44.96
do to put me on a stretcher
and carry me until I can do
00:48:44.99\00:48:49.45
that again for myself?
00:48:49.49\00:48:51.10
You know before I answer
that, I was very inspired by
00:48:51.13\00:48:54.66
Annette's story and I want
to share something along the
00:48:54.70\00:48:58.20
line of hope, but gum
I will never forget that.
00:48:58.23\00:49:01.29
I met a woman one time who
was diagnosed with stage four
00:49:01.32\00:49:04.25
breast cancer, which
means that it had metastasized,
00:49:04.28\00:49:07.17
her Doctor gave her
three months to live.
00:49:07.21\00:49:09.23
A second Doctor, she
went for second diagnosis and
00:49:09.26\00:49:11.92
he said the same thing,
you know you have three months
00:49:11.95\00:49:14.58
and this is very
advanced and that is it.
00:49:14.61\00:49:16.49
I wish that I had known
that woman during that time
00:49:16.53\00:49:19.17
because I would like to
know how she dealt with it.
00:49:19.20\00:49:21.80
I didn't meet her
until 27 years later.
00:49:21.84\00:49:24.34
I like to share that
story with people, because if
00:49:24.37\00:49:28.21
you are ever trying to
grab on to hope, I mean this was
00:49:28.24\00:49:30.93
a woman who was told this is it.
00:49:30.97\00:49:32.92
Your life is over by the doctors
and the medical community.
00:49:32.96\00:49:36.18
I am not disrespecting
them, they probably gave her the
00:49:36.22\00:49:39.41
best information
that they had available,
00:49:39.45\00:49:41.83
but God had a different idea.
00:49:41.87\00:49:43.29
Now I have to go on we are
talking about physical illnesses
00:49:43.32\00:49:46.40
and diagnosis of
some serious illness.
00:49:46.43\00:49:49.50
I was diagnosed with attachment
disorders and bonding disorders
00:49:49.53\00:49:52.64
and so as I learned to
read, and as I looked into
00:49:52.68\00:49:57.30
medical books or psych
books and what that means the
00:49:57.34\00:50:01.93
prognosis for that is horrible.
00:50:01.96\00:50:04.83
You never get better,
you never have a normal
00:50:04.87\00:50:07.83
socialization life, you
never connect in relationships
00:50:07.86\00:50:11.33
and God says one thing you
have to know about everybody's
00:50:11.37\00:50:14.80
opinion is that I
am bigger than that.
00:50:14.84\00:50:16.77
So when I doubt, when I am
hit with something that even
00:50:16.81\00:50:20.43
every single book, and
every single expert is saying
00:50:20.46\00:50:23.41
one thing, I have to say
that God is bigger than that.
00:50:23.45\00:50:26.36
So now friends, how
do we hold people up when
00:50:26.39\00:50:29.57
they can't hold themselves up?
00:50:29.61\00:50:31.03
Well it is important to make
sure that you understand that
00:50:31.06\00:50:34.57
whether it is breast Cancer,
a different kind of cancer,
00:50:34.61\00:50:39.08
if you have lost a child
like Mike has, many times these
00:50:39.12\00:50:43.56
are a long-suffering
kinds of situations.
00:50:43.60\00:50:46.02
It is really important to
understand that they need your
00:50:46.06\00:50:49.42
support all the way
through that journey.
00:50:49.46\00:50:52.05
You can do little things
like we talked about earlier.
00:50:52.08\00:50:56.22
Whether it is just bringing
over a meal, or just being
00:50:56.25\00:51:00.44
there, take a person to
the movies, or whatever they're
00:51:00.47\00:51:04.63
recreation happens to
be that they like to do.
00:51:04.66\00:51:08.17
You know Sharon I heard
Mike say, not on this show,
00:51:08.21\00:51:10.35
but at a different time I
heard Mike say that after the
00:51:10.38\00:51:13.71
funeral he physically felt
the prayers of his church and
00:51:13.74\00:51:17.03
friends and families
stop. He physically felt that.
00:51:17.06\00:51:19.96
So as people when they are
losing loved ones, don't stop
00:51:19.99\00:51:23.94
praying right away, don't
stop all that because this is
00:51:23.97\00:51:27.88
a long process for some folks.
00:51:27.92\00:51:29.89
It's like she said in the
beginning, she had all that
00:51:29.92\00:51:32.35
supported the very beginning
and as soon as she was home
00:51:32.38\00:51:35.35
from the hospital, it's
like she's fine now she is home
00:51:35.38\00:51:37.94
from the hospital and
surgery is done and she is going
00:51:37.97\00:51:40.49
to be okay, but that
is really when it started.
00:51:40.53\00:51:43.28
Chemo is when it really
starts really take a toll.
00:51:43.32\00:51:45.99
I just want to say we
are running out of time,
00:51:46.02\00:51:48.93
so I want to say thank
you so much for coming on.
00:51:48.97\00:51:51.48
I thank you for letting
God stand you up with Breast
00:51:51.51\00:51:54.01
Friends and all
that kind of stuff.
00:51:54.04\00:51:55.43
Just for people, if
you are concerned about me,
00:51:55.46\00:51:58.73
I'm psychologically trashed so
you can bring a casserole over
00:51:58.76\00:52:01.71
to me just
anytime, oh I am sorry,
00:52:01.75\00:52:04.26
I guess that is inappropriate.
00:52:04.30\00:52:06.19
You know what, I just
want that this is amazing,
00:52:07.77\00:52:10.26
we have talked about
some pretty heavy things and
00:52:10.29\00:52:13.22
very sad things, but
know that God is faithful and
00:52:13.25\00:52:16.14
He will hold you up.
00:52:16.18\00:52:17.19
God has held Mike up, and
Mike is now going into the
00:52:17.22\00:52:20.76
pastoral to hold
somebody else up.
00:52:20.79\00:52:23.03
And Matt you are still
walking a couple years after
00:52:23.06\00:52:26.33
diagnosis of cancer and
you guys look beautiful and
00:52:26.36\00:52:29.60
are comforting so I
want to say trust God.
00:52:29.63\00:52:32.78
When you are in doubt
take it to God, take it to some
00:52:32.82\00:52:36.29
friends and let them carry you.
00:52:36.32\00:52:37.57
Stay tuned because
we will be right back.
00:52:37.61\00:52:39.61
Amazing stories, real people
in real situations discussing
00:52:44.49\00:52:48.06
issues that really matter.
00:52:48.10\00:52:49.62
A complete first season of
Celebrating Life In Recover is
00:52:49.65\00:52:52.91
now available on DVD and
can be ordered by calling 3ABN
00:52:52.95\00:52:56.17
or online at 3ABN.org
hosted by Cheri Peters.
00:52:56.21\00:52:59.38
This season follows
principles of the book
00:52:59.41\00:53:02.55
'Steps to Christ'.
00:53:02.59\00:53:03.92
See for yourself how
God changed the lives of the
00:53:03.96\00:53:05.93
convicted and the accused
and victims of terrible crimes.
00:53:05.97\00:53:09.14
You won't want to miss a moment
of these powerful interviews.
00:53:09.18\00:53:12.32
We have talked about a
lot of things on this show.
00:53:14.93\00:53:17.88
We have talked about
Mike, the death of your daughter
00:53:17.92\00:53:21.23
which was intense and that
your illness of both Sharon
00:53:21.26\00:53:25.48
and Becky's breast cancer
and I thought about when I was
00:53:25.52\00:53:30.07
diagnosed not long ago
with hepatitis A B&C, and I have
00:53:30.11\00:53:35.17
been in my relationship with
God in my Christian walk since
00:53:35.20\00:53:40.23
1979, so for years I
have not done drugs since 79.
00:53:40.27\00:53:44.32
I have not stuck needles
in my arms, I have not been
00:53:44.35\00:53:47.53
homeless, I have a great
life and I am married to an
00:53:47.56\00:53:51.09
incredible man and I have
an 18-year-old daughter, 17
00:53:51.12\00:53:54.62
almost 18-year-old daughter
and now I'm getting diagnosed
00:53:54.65\00:53:57.74
with hepatitis A B&C and
am more or likely going to die
00:53:57.78\00:54:00.84
of liver cancer and
those kind of things.
00:54:00.87\00:54:03.46
I thought, you know wow,
the Doctor had tears in his eyes
00:54:03.50\00:54:08.31
telling me that diagnosis
and this Doctor loves me
00:54:08.35\00:54:10.62
and doesn't know my
background and was even like
00:54:10.65\00:54:12.89
Cheri, what's up?
And I had to tell him.
00:54:12.92\00:54:16.86
I honestly came by all
this, I can't really say this
00:54:16.90\00:54:21.47
wasn't my own making.
00:54:21.51\00:54:22.92
For a lot of us our
diseases, even our own making,
00:54:22.95\00:54:25.77
God says I don't even
care about that, I love you.
00:54:25.80\00:54:28.58
I will walk you through this.
00:54:28.62\00:54:30.20
But I got prayed
for by a lot of people.
00:54:30.23\00:54:33.77
I started every time I
turned around and someone knew
00:54:33.80\00:54:36.78
that I had these disorders,
they would lay their hands
00:54:36.81\00:54:39.55
on me, they would pray for
me and I had people sending
00:54:39.59\00:54:42.29
me e-mails saying
you are in my prayers.
00:54:42.32\00:54:44.11
I had a radio show that
was international and people
00:54:44.14\00:54:46.92
from that, that listen to
that show would actually start
00:54:46.95\00:54:49.65
praying for me. And one
time I thought I better go and
00:54:49.68\00:54:52.35
just as the
Doctor to check it again.
00:54:52.38\00:54:55.03
Maybe I am healed, he
said Hon, you don't get healed
00:54:55.06\00:54:59.34
from this, you just
don't get healed from this.
00:54:59.37\00:55:01.80
I thought you know, tell
God because I think I'm healed.
00:55:01.83\00:55:07.37
I'm feeling better, so he
did the test and didn't find
00:55:07.40\00:55:12.15
anything, didn't find
anything. How funny is that?
00:55:12.19\00:55:16.87
And what was odd to me, is
when he didn't find anything
00:55:16.90\00:55:21.54
I felt a little grief, I
didn't feel that when I got
00:55:21.57\00:55:26.18
diagnosed at first
with the hepatitis A B & C,
00:55:26.21\00:55:28.86
I didn't feel sad
or grief or anything.
00:55:28.90\00:55:30.92
I always take things back to
God and say, God what's up with
00:55:30.96\00:55:34.45
that? What's up with that?
00:55:34.49\00:55:36.15
I got on my knees and
praying and I'm asking God,
00:55:36.19\00:55:39.78
you know what? I feel a
little sad that I'm not coming
00:55:39.82\00:55:43.02
home, that they're not
going to lay me down to rest,
00:55:43.05\00:55:46.22
and I'm not going
to sleep this one out.
00:55:46.26\00:55:47.85
Because you know as good as
this earth is, it's overrated
00:55:47.89\00:55:51.52
I think, but anyway while
I'm thinking of that God said
00:55:51.56\00:55:55.20
to me, from childhood,
from being neglected as a child,
00:55:55.24\00:55:58.91
and from being not loved,
the molest issues, all the
00:55:58.95\00:56:02.58
junk that I have
been through in my life,
00:56:02.62\00:56:04.73
the homelessness,
trying to figure out where
00:56:04.76\00:56:06.84
I fit in the world.
00:56:06.87\00:56:08.24
Do I fit in a Christian church?
Do I not? Do I have belong here,
00:56:08.27\00:56:11.68
do I not? He said, you have
never given up that sense of
00:56:11.72\00:56:15.21
being even suicidal, the
sense of not wanting to be here.
00:56:15.24\00:56:18.69
He said you never in
your life chosen to live.
00:56:18.73\00:56:21.49
I want you to
choose to live for Me.
00:56:21.53\00:56:24.63
Oh man, I don't know if I
can do that. I don't know if
00:56:24.66\00:56:29.05
I can do that, I'm not sure
I have it in me to choose to
00:56:29.08\00:56:33.43
live because I
don't want to be here.
00:56:33.47\00:56:34.78
He said, not be here,
choose to live for Me.
00:56:34.82\00:56:37.81
As a woman of God, as a
man of God, no matter what hits
00:56:37.84\00:56:41.85
you, walk in that with faith.
00:56:41.89\00:56:45.16
Get rid of all the doubt,
we are here and the Lord says,
00:56:45.20\00:56:48.81
the day is like
a thousand years.
00:56:48.85\00:56:50.49
I calculated that out
once, we are here for maybe
00:56:50.52\00:56:53.21
15 minutes each. So for 15
minutes live with what ever
00:56:53.25\00:56:57.83
you got and get rid of doubt.
00:56:57.86\00:57:00.42
Fight all the fear you
have, all the dread you have,
00:57:00.45\00:57:03.20
walk with what you have in
your aging, in whatever it is.
00:57:03.24\00:57:07.35
What ever it is, what ever
the devil has thrown at you,
00:57:07.38\00:57:11.17
walk with it in the joy
of the Lord, let that be your
00:57:11.20\00:57:15.39
strength and don't forget,
don't forget hold on to God,
00:57:15.43\00:57:18.90
and hold on to friends and
they will give you strength.
00:57:18.93\00:57:22.30
Next time on Celebrating
Life In Recovery we are going
00:57:22.33\00:57:25.21
to be talking about some
great stuff so stay tuned.
00:57:25.25\00:57:28.06
But until then, I want you
to know that God is faithful.
00:57:28.09\00:57:32.54
If you start doubting,
if you start being afraid,
00:57:32.58\00:57:36.08
get on your knees and beg Him.
Tell Him to tell you a joke.
00:57:36.11\00:57:39.45
Because He will do it.
Tell Him to show you something
00:57:39.49\00:57:43.29
in the stars, He will do it,
but until then always remember
00:57:43.32\00:57:46.63
that God is crazy about
you. And I have got to tell you,
00:57:46.66\00:57:49.93
I am too. See ya next time.
00:57:49.97\00:57:53.02