Welcome to Celebrating Life In
Recovery, I'm Cheri your host.
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Today you are going to be so
blessed, we are going to look
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at how God grows us spiritually.
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How He leads us through
recovery, it is amazing.
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Come in and join us!
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I love this show, I love
what we are trying to do here.
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I love recovery, I love
how God says I know that every
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one of you are a mess,
and if you are watching and
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you are saying, "I
don't think I'm a mess,"
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it's because you are in denial.
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It's like all of us have
stuff and God says the best
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of the best of us
are like filthy rags.
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I can't even tell you
what the original language says
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because it is disgusting,
but I mean filthy rags.
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So it is like God is saying,
I really died for you because
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you need Me to die for you.
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I want to start with telling
you a story that I heard on a
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talk show, a daytime talk show.
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It was about a guy and his
gig, his job what he got paid
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to do was to get a
map of the United States.
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He literally gets this
map of the United States.
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He has a dart and
he throws the dart.
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Poof and it sticks. Wherever
it's sticks he goes to that
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city, and he goes to that
city and goes to a phone booth,
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any phone booth, he sees
one and opens up the phone
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book to any page and
puts his finger down.
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Then he goes to that house
with a film crew and knocks on
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the door and says, excuse
me, can you tell me a little bit
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about yourself? If they say
yes, he hears their testimony.
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He says everybody has a story.
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When he is done with that
one and he hears what has been
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blessed in their family,
from their story or what they
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have struggled with, and they
learned from their struggle.
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Then he goes back to the
map and takes his dart, poof!
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Goes to that city, goes to
that phone booth, goes to the
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phonebook and opens it
up and puts his finger down
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and goes right to a house.
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I'm thinking how funny is that?
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I want to see the reason I
want to set that up is this
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show is going to be a
little different than the rest
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of the shows we have done.
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We are going to listen to
the people sitting here at the
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café, and we are
going to hear their stories.
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If I could, I would switch
them out with the camera people
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and we would hear their
stories, and if I could I would
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switch them out with the
production team and we would
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hear their stories, and
if I could I would switch
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them out with you and
we would hear your story.
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It's amazing
because we all have a story.
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God says, you know
what I am crazy about you.
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My theme text Isaiah
57:18 I know that you are a mess
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and I'm going
to heal you anyway.
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I'm thinking I am
so ready, heal me.
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There are some things
that I don't even know I need
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healing from and He
says, that's all right.
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That's alright
I'm okay with that.
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So we are going to introduce
you to people on the set.
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I'm going to do it a little
different than we normally do.
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Some of you I'm going to
grab and just have you come up
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here, like Betty I want
you to come up here your first.
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I know when I said you're going
to be first you looked at me
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like no, not first.
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Tell us a little bit about
yourself and where you came
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from, because as you know,
and I got to say, doesn't she
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look like she would be a
teacher, she'd be my teacher
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and be perfect and never have
anything you struggled with?
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To me everything
about you seems perfect.
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Oh really! - yeah, so tell
the people at the café where
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you come from and what have
you struggled with in your life?
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Well I say the thing that
I struggled with the most was
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that I was adopted when
I was small. - how small?
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I was three years old - okay.
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So all my growing up
years, and even to this day,
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I struggle with the
feeling of loneliness and being
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alone and not having family.
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Did you remember at three, did
you ever remember your folks?
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- no! - did you ever see them?
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Yes, yes I have met them
several times and I know who
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they are. - what were they like?
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Um, they're both deaf and
dumb and so they just weren't
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able to care for us at
the time and that is why,
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I think the Lord lead
and I think God put me where
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He wanted me to be.
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It doesn't help when you
struggle with your loneliness
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right? - Yea, but I think
that God is the One who has
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helped me along because I
can remember even when I was six
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years old, I would go
out in the woods and climb up
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a tree and talk to God.
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God was like, I saw God
as my Father all the years.
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Whenever, whenever I was
really lonely and ran into
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problems I saw God as my
Father and the One that would
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always be there for me.
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You know what, could you just
imagine I saw you as a little
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girl and I need to get closer
to God so I'll climb this tree.
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I just want to kiss
you for that. - okay.
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So as you struggled, as
you grew up, as you looked at
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these issues God was
faithful during those times.
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Oh yes definitely. - never
struggled with anything else
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other than the adoption?
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No, I have struggled with
other things, but that is the
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biggest thing. - okay,
okay thank you for coming up.
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And I want, the next person,
Mark you can go ahead and
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stay sitting down,
you work for the church.
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You are married to
Betty - 25 years ago.
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25 years you have been married!
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Is she still climbing trees?
Ah she makes me climb trees.
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Let's both go find God,
lets both go up the tree.
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So who are you, and
who are you in Christ?
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Not only in your
marriage but just in your life.
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You mean now or
whenever? - whenever.
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Well I wasn't raised an
Adventist, I was raised in
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a nominal Christian
home in Washington, DC.
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I went to Sunday school
and was even an acolyte, but
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I came to the conclusion that
Christianity lost its power.
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Maybe way back in the early
centuries it was significant,
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had an influence but I didn't
see any influence, anything
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that impacted people's lives
in the church I was raised in.
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So by the time I was
16 I just lost interest.
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So it's not even real and I
do want to be here and I could
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care less. - I just
exited and I lived by the flesh.
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Wait! What does that mean?
Because you know what when I was
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on the street and I heard
somebody say I got out there
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in the flesh, I
thought what does that mean?
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Well one of the drawbacks it
is one of the things you think
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about today, but it
definitely was party life.
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Drinking and that kind of stuff?
- Yeah little bit of that.
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And women - but like you
say and women and we are not bad
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unless you make
us bad so go ahead.
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But you got out there?
Left Christ. - yes I did.
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But I had a good friend in
high school and he had a job,
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a summer job that paid quite
a bit more than I was getting
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paid so I thought out of
greed I said I want that job
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so I went and applied.
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It was at a sheet metal
shop, and I didn't realize this
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it took me several
times, I back four times.
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They said you really want
to work so they said that we'll
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hire you, but I realize
that the foreman of that shop
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was a Seventh-day Adventist.
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He wasn't just an Adventist,
he was an on-fire Adventist.
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He witnessed, and he took
an interest in us young guys.
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Now he seemed old, 31 years old,
he seemed old but he took an
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interest in us
young guys, I was 17.
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The about 17 and he would try
to show us how to do our work
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but he would tell us
what Christ has done for him.
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I had never heard anybody
talk about Jesus as a friend.
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Where His love have made
a difference in their lives.
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He said his wife and I
used to do all these parties and
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all these terrible things
he didn't like, but now we love
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each other, we have
a great family life.
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It has changed me, now we
drink but we drink lemonade on
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the back porch
and it's wonderful.
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So Mark you saw somebody
that finally took God and made
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Him real inside his life.
So God became real to you then?
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Well the other component
was the fact that he was truly
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a loving caring person.
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I had never met or
seen that in church.
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That really made an impression
on me, now at the time
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I wasn't really that interested.
I remember at the time saying Oh
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this is going to
interfere with the fun I am
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having, I don't want it.
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But I couldn't help but
listen, and God confronted me
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and I sort of put it on the
back burner and then went to
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the University of Maryland
and continued on with the life.
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But then I came to the point
I didn't feel very fulfilled
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with it and I started reading
the Bible and I remembered my
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friend and asked him if he
would study the Bible with me.
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And the funny thing was he
said okay, come on over and
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I came over on a Friday night.
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Now this is, this is a
Friday night and we had a Bible
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study and he went right
into Daniel and talked about,
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- no way. - he started
opening up the text talking
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about the little horn.
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I said I know who that is,
because I was a history buff.
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That's really interesting
to me though, is that you would
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get into somebody that
opens the book and actually gets
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into some really
heavy issues right away.
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So you needed
that? - I was interested.
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So I'm going to go onto
the next person, I just want to
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say how incredible that you
left the church, it wasn't real
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and somebody just stood in front
of you and pulls you back and
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you are blessed by it. -
just show you how ready I was,
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I went to church
the next day - no way?
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And I went in gathering
the next night. - no way!
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Now you work in
church and a ministry.
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After that I always kept
Sabbath after that. - wow.
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You have been a ministry
since then - since I was
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baptized in 1972, it
was a whole new world.
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I was totally not interested
in religion, or God or
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anything to do with God,
but when I finally, when I was a
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finally confronted with
His promises and His claims,
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I was overwhelmed.
- and the Holy Spirit.
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Okay let's move on, I
want to introduce you to Susan.
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Susan come on up. Susan
we met a little while ago.
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You are how old - 18- 18.
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I wish I was 18 again, I'm
so jealous go sit down. No!
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You and I have known
each other for a while.
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You deal with some
pretty heavy issues, so talk a
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little bit about where you
came from, first about your
00:11:05.37\00:11:08.97
family an outreach stuff
and where you came from and
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what you deal with.
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I was born in Guam and I
was a missionary kid and went
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to Indonesia and then I
got into the United States.
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It was pretty traumatic
coming into the United States
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after all that Aye!
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Yeah I went through
basically culture shock.
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It's really difficult for me
and it was about age 12 that I
00:11:30.86\00:11:37.28
started self abusing and I
dealt with it for six years now.
00:11:37.31\00:11:42.05
Self abusing for people
don't know what is that?
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Because there is a lot
of people when you say that
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they're not going to
have a clue, I don't know what
00:11:46.63\00:11:48.59
she's talking about.
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It's basically cutting,
burning, whatever, I mean it is
00:11:50.00\00:11:54.59
just different
methods for different people.
00:11:54.63\00:11:56.70
But trying to relieve almost
like the emotional pain you
00:11:56.74\00:12:01.67
feel with an outward
thing? - yes, just releasing the
00:12:01.71\00:12:06.47
pain from within, or distracting
yourself from what you
00:12:06.50\00:12:10.32
need to deal with and try to
avoid the problem altogether.
00:12:10.35\00:12:14.86
You have been cutting yourself,
burning yourself for how
00:12:14.90\00:12:19.37
long? - for six years.
00:12:19.41\00:12:21.83
Is God trying to get
you to stop? - yes - yes!
00:12:21.86\00:12:26.56
And when I say that
because I know, I watch even our
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relationship and different
people in your life, and God
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has been faithful with all
the things you have dealt with.
00:12:33.42\00:12:37.22
When you had gotten into
this, you've gotten into some
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pretty difficult situations
that have caused other things
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to pile up on you.
How you deal with that?
00:12:45.73\00:12:48.40
Well I was sexually
abused and all that and that is
00:12:48.44\00:12:57.94
basically how it
started, the cutting.
00:12:57.98\00:13:00.11
I just try to like avoid
thinking about the things and
00:13:03.42\00:13:10.17
try to think positive and
try to pray and do alternatives.
00:13:10.21\00:13:16.93
And you are in a support
group for the abuse issues?
00:13:16.97\00:13:21.51
Right - yeah -
how's that working out?
00:13:21.54\00:13:24.19
It has been good, it
has been very helpful.
00:13:24.23\00:13:27.51
I'm trying to deal with
the problem behind the reason
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I am hurting myself and
once that is through I think
00:13:32.42\00:13:37.17
I will be able to heal
and stop cutting altogether.
00:13:37.21\00:13:41.89
You know what is amazing to
me in our relationship, just
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knowing each other for
the short time we have.
00:13:44.96\00:13:47.15
Because we've known each other
for like three years or so,
00:13:47.19\00:13:49.17
right? - ah hmmm - the
short time we work together
00:13:49.21\00:13:51.72
is this is the first time
I think I have heard you talk
00:13:51.75\00:13:54.83
about having some kind of
hope that this will be over
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sometime? - yeah, I have
a hope because it has been
00:13:59.28\00:14:03.59
easier and it is getting
easier and easier for me to stop
00:14:03.63\00:14:07.70
for a certain duration
of time that I'll not do it.
00:14:07.73\00:14:14.36
Then I will have a relapse
and always have the hope that
00:14:14.39\00:14:17.06
I can keep going. - do you
feel like God forgives you?
00:14:17.09\00:14:22.21
Yeah. - I do too. And
this, and I'm just going to say
00:14:22.24\00:14:27.33
this right now
because it is amazing to me.
00:14:27.36\00:14:29.07
I worked with a girl
that was your age and she was
00:14:29.10\00:14:31.56
anorexic. She came in one
day and she was, she had taken
00:14:31.60\00:14:35.76
all kinds of laxatives and
she was trying to get herself to
00:14:35.80\00:14:39.02
throw up because her mom made
her eat and stuff like that.
00:14:39.05\00:14:42.23
You had anorexia at one
time right? Didn't you have
00:14:42.27\00:14:44.65
eating disorders
at one time? - yeah.
00:14:44.69\00:14:45.89
So she comes in to work
right, I had her working at the
00:14:45.92\00:14:48.93
Ministry Center and she
goes into the bathroom and
00:14:48.96\00:14:52.18
she is, I'm sorry if
this is disgusting to people
00:14:52.22\00:14:55.40
but you have to just
see this whole thing.
00:14:55.44\00:14:57.40
The laxatives were too intense,
she was like going everywhere
00:14:57.44\00:15:01.50
and she was also throwing up
and she came out and she felt
00:15:01.54\00:15:04.80
horrible, and I could tell
she had lost all the color and
00:15:04.84\00:15:08.48
she was sweating and I said
if Christ came back right now,
00:15:08.52\00:15:12.13
right now do you think
He would take you with Him?
00:15:12.17\00:15:15.36
Do you think that you
would be saved? Do you know what
00:15:15.39\00:15:18.48
she said? She started
weeping and can you imagine what
00:15:18.52\00:15:21.57
she said? No I don't
think He would take me back.
00:15:21.61\00:15:25.44
I said oh man, that is
where you have Him wrong.
00:15:25.47\00:15:29.23
He would take you back in
a second because sometimes we
00:15:29.26\00:15:32.35
are in all our mess, and
we feel overwhelmed by that,
00:15:32.39\00:15:35.44
but we have a God
that said I died for you
00:15:35.48\00:15:37.78
because you are a mess.
00:15:37.81\00:15:39.43
All of us, not just one of us,
not just you, not just me, not
00:15:39.46\00:15:43.60
just Betty with your adoption
issues and all at stuff.
00:15:43.63\00:15:47.06
Mark, I imagine you have some
other stuff that you are not
00:15:47.09\00:15:50.48
sharing with us, I'm kidding.
00:15:50.52\00:15:52.91
But you know not just
one of us up all of us and
00:15:52.94\00:15:55.16
God said I died for
you and I will walk with
00:15:55.19\00:15:57.37
you every step of the way.
00:15:57.41\00:15:58.95
Do you know of my
prayer is for you and I?
00:15:58.98\00:16:00.36
I get to see you when you are
on the other side of all this
00:16:00.39\00:16:04.09
stuff and you are
helping someone else.
00:16:04.12\00:16:05.94
I think that will be a blast.
00:16:05.98\00:16:08.15
I have a great dream to help
others and use my problems to
00:16:08.18\00:16:11.47
help those who are going
through the same thing I went
00:16:11.51\00:16:14.77
through. - and there are tons.
00:16:14.80\00:16:16.55
Cutting in school
how prevalent is it?
00:16:16.59\00:16:19.40
I have had friends that do
it, and I've had people that
00:16:19.44\00:16:27.24
are way worse off than I am.
00:16:27.27\00:16:29.75
Huge scars all
over their body. - yeah.
00:16:29.79\00:16:32.17
I just tried to, when I do
know people and when I do have
00:16:32.21\00:16:37.49
friends it's kind of like
trying to use it in a positive
00:16:37.52\00:16:42.77
way, like if you have a
friend that is dealing with
00:16:42.80\00:16:46.90
cutting and you are
dealing with cutting also,
00:16:46.93\00:16:50.96
then you want to try and
use that in a positive way to
00:16:51.00\00:16:56.60
get together and use the
hope and just try to support
00:16:56.64\00:17:02.21
each other in not
doing it, and not doing it.
00:17:02.25\00:17:05.71
Actually learning to do
something else, and the support
00:17:05.75\00:17:09.94
actually helps you. - it can
hinder you to know someone else
00:17:09.98\00:17:13.32
is cutting and you are
dealing with cutting, but it can
00:17:13.36\00:17:16.21
also be a positive experience
because you can pray for
00:17:16.25\00:17:18.71
each other, you can help
each other, you can lift each
00:17:18.74\00:17:21.16
other up and it is a
good thing if you use it
00:17:21.20\00:17:25.50
in a positive way.
00:17:25.53\00:17:26.90
Cutting actually becomes
an addiction in and of itself.
00:17:26.94\00:17:29.50
Does anybody know that? You
can get addicted to your own
00:17:29.54\00:17:32.97
body chemistry and so you
have to actually almost go
00:17:33.01\00:17:36.37
through recovery from your own
self as if you are addicted to
00:17:36.41\00:17:39.65
like heroin with cutting.
00:17:39.68\00:17:41.30
So you and I are actually
going to do a whole show on that
00:17:41.33\00:17:44.51
next season and we will
blessed with another woman named
00:17:44.55\00:17:47.69
Nikki Duffy so you
have to be tuned into that.
00:17:47.73\00:17:49.57
But right now I want to say
thank you for sharing with us.
00:17:49.60\00:17:52.07
And you know I'm
crazy about you? - yeah.
00:17:52.10\00:17:55.02
Okay you can sit down
now. Okay Valerie, come on up.
00:17:55.06\00:17:59.60
Okay Valerie you and
I just met. - yes, yes.
00:17:59.63\00:18:05.42
But I know your daughter in
law and your son, I've known
00:18:05.46\00:18:10.87
them for a while and I
didn't even know that Brad's mom
00:18:10.90\00:18:16.28
had a little issue of some kind.
00:18:16.32\00:18:18.17
So tell me, who are
you? What do you deal with?
00:18:18.21\00:18:20.47
Addiction,
alcoholism. - since how old?
00:18:20.50\00:18:25.98
Ah, 12- so what do you think
brought alcohol into your life
00:18:26.01\00:18:33.10
at 12 years old,
what was going on?
00:18:33.13\00:18:34.84
Trying to fit in maybe in
the right crowd, small town.
00:18:34.87\00:18:44.53
Sexual abuse - all
that stuff? - uhhhhhmmm.
00:18:44.57\00:18:49.38
How has alcoholism
interfere with your life and
00:18:49.41\00:18:53.84
why are you moving into
a relationship with God?,
00:18:53.87\00:18:58.26
what brought that about?
00:18:58.30\00:18:59.75
I need God, I can't
live any longer like this.
00:18:59.79\00:19:07.40
Amen, and you know
what I want to say is Dah,
00:19:07.44\00:19:15.02
No I'm sorry I
didn't really mean that.
00:19:15.06\00:19:17.88
It's like suicide, it's
suicide or God. - I'm so done.
00:19:17.91\00:19:25.63
Yeah! - I'm so sick of
this stuff that I want to kill
00:19:25.67\00:19:29.00
myself or want to change.
- yes, ya I have to have God
00:19:29.03\00:19:32.74
in my life or I just
can't keep going. I need Him.
00:19:32.77\00:19:36.29
You don't have it within
you to do it on your own aye?
00:19:36.32\00:19:40.00
Oh I can't. - Are you twisted
in your thinking? - Oh yeah.
00:19:40.04\00:19:44.13
Do you have crazies thinking?
- oh yeah, bad dreams, I cry
00:19:44.17\00:19:48.23
out to God in the night.
- do you know why say that?
00:19:48.26\00:19:50.96
Is because I was so twisted
and I was so crazy, but you
00:19:50.99\00:19:53.66
know what I want to say
to you, no not bragging.
00:19:53.69\00:19:56.79
I'm absolutely am incredible
right now, you know I have
00:19:56.83\00:20:01.27
a great life and love to
laugh and I love what I'm doing.
00:20:01.30\00:20:05.71
I don't feel afraid of
my own thoughts anymore.
00:20:05.75\00:20:08.23
I want to tell you to hang
on to God and don't let Him go
00:20:08.27\00:20:11.41
because He will get you to
a place where you will not be
00:20:11.44\00:20:14.55
afraid of your own thoughts.
00:20:14.58\00:20:15.95
You will actually stand
holy in a presence of a holy God
00:20:15.99\00:20:19.26
saying, Yahoo, life is good.
00:20:19.29\00:20:22.11
So hang in there and if you
need to just come stay at my
00:20:22.14\00:20:26.06
house for awhile, okay
anything else you want to share
00:20:26.10\00:20:31.52
with us? - No, I thank
God for listening to me in the
00:20:31.55\00:20:36.94
middle of the night
and sticking with me.
00:20:36.98\00:20:40.16
I mean He is there and He
does take us back when we fall.
00:20:40.20\00:20:43.80
Was He there during
your alcoholism do you think?
00:20:43.83\00:20:47.16
Yeah, I know He was because
I wouldn't be here today,
00:20:47.19\00:20:50.45
I should have wrecked my car
many times, yeah He is there.
00:20:50.48\00:20:55.23
What is amazing is that one time
I had overdosed on heroin and
00:20:55.26\00:20:59.98
I'm laying on the floor of a
drug house in my own feces and
00:21:00.01\00:21:04.29
I think God was
there during that time.
00:21:04.32\00:21:06.10
Somebody will say no,
no, no He is not there until
00:21:06.13\00:21:08.89
we say we want Him
or until we are saved.
00:21:08.93\00:21:11.49
God if we are
breathing, God is with you.
00:21:11.53\00:21:14.03
If we have breath in our
body God is working to reconcile
00:21:14.06\00:21:18.03
us back to Him.
00:21:18.07\00:21:19.23
Not saying that He loves
us drinking, but He loves our
00:21:19.26\00:21:22.70
liver, He doesn't want us
to damage our self, to trash
00:21:22.73\00:21:26.13
our brains and all that
stuff to cut our bodies.
00:21:26.17\00:21:29.28
I think Satan so wants to
destroy us and God does not.
00:21:29.32\00:21:32.37
He says if you are breathing,
I will be with you, all you
00:21:32.40\00:21:36.07
have to do is holler out
and that's what you say, is when
00:21:36.11\00:21:38.47
I relapsed I holler out.
00:21:38.50\00:21:40.12
You holler out in the night
when you are afraid of your own
00:21:40.15\00:21:43.16
dreams. - Amen - I thank
you for sharing that with us.
00:21:43.19\00:21:46.17
Go-ahead Valerie sit down.
00:21:46.21\00:21:48.86
If anybody is watching
this show, I beg you to pray for
00:21:48.90\00:21:54.59
the people you see on our show,
pray for me pray for yourself.
00:21:54.62\00:21:57.76
It is really important
that we actually know or realize
00:21:57.79\00:22:04.42
that God is working
with every single one of us.
00:22:04.45\00:22:07.40
On the next segment, when
we come back I want to show you
00:22:07.43\00:22:11.72
what God has taught me about
how He walks us into recovery,
00:22:11.75\00:22:16.00
and how He deals with all
these different things, all
00:22:16.04\00:22:19.36
these things that people
deal with and it is so amazing,
00:22:19.39\00:22:22.68
it is a so amazing
that you have to stay tuned.
00:22:22.71\00:22:25.00
We want to introduce
you to a beautiful book
00:22:28.47\00:22:30.81
Called 'Steps To Christ'.
00:22:30.84\00:22:32.45
Each program in this series
is based on a different chapter
00:22:32.49\00:22:35.08
showing you how to
become a Christian and
00:22:35.11\00:22:37.70
gain victory
over your addictions.
00:22:37.74\00:22:39.74
'Steps To Christ' is our
gift to you free of charge.
00:22:39.78\00:22:42.78
Just call us at:
00:22:42.81\00:22:44.98
Welcome back, this is my
favorite part of the show.
00:23:10.98\00:23:13.36
This show is a little bit
different because we are doing
00:23:13.40\00:23:15.60
it different, we have the
testimonies, you got to meet
00:23:15.63\00:23:17.80
everybody at the café
except for wait a minute,
00:23:17.84\00:23:21.34
Larry you got out from
having to say anything.
00:23:21.37\00:23:24.81
So I want to know who are
you? - okay well before I get
00:23:24.84\00:23:28.18
into that I want to say
something because I have been on
00:23:28.21\00:23:31.45
a few other shows and it
don't seem to get to say it is
00:23:31.49\00:23:34.64
that there is a way out,
no matter what comes your way.
00:23:34.67\00:23:38.49
Like in my case one of the
things that really bugged me
00:23:38.52\00:23:41.72
and I only just recently
spoke publicly about it was
00:23:41.75\00:23:45.64
molested as a child and
having the guilt feeling and
00:23:45.67\00:23:49.49
having the shame, God is there
and He'll take care of it for
00:23:49.52\00:23:52.13
us if we will just give it to
Him, I wanted to say that in the
00:23:52.16\00:23:54.73
onset because that is the
way my life started somewhere
00:23:54.76\00:23:57.84
between three and five I
had been molested when I was an
00:23:57.88\00:24:00.64
infant and my mother and
father separated when I was two
00:24:00.68\00:24:03.41
and they divorced.
00:24:03.44\00:24:05.19
Then when I was six was my
molestation and then later on
00:24:05.23\00:24:07.92
there was more and I joined
gangs and got into a lot of
00:24:07.95\00:24:10.61
things and had a lot of
different addictions and
00:24:10.65\00:24:13.63
the more it went
on the worse it got.
00:24:13.66\00:24:15.80
I couldn't trust people, I
joined motorcycle gangs later
00:24:15.84\00:24:21.84
on even in my 30's it
was still going, I came from
00:24:21.87\00:24:24.53
motorcycle
gangs into the church.
00:24:24.57\00:24:27.61
I heard you were hard-core
in gangs, in motorcycle groups?
00:24:27.64\00:24:32.08
I rode with some pretty
hard-core boys, Hells Angels,
00:24:32.11\00:24:36.27
the Barons, there was a
group called the Barons over in
00:24:36.30\00:24:39.51
Massachusetts all the
way down to Florida actually.
00:24:39.55\00:24:42.69
They were very bad, I wouldn't
join them because I didn't
00:24:42.72\00:24:45.97
like going out to hurt people.
00:24:46.00\00:24:47.87
If people came and wanted to
fight, okay I was ready for that
00:24:47.91\00:24:50.84
but I didn't want to go out
to just purposely hurt people.
00:24:50.87\00:24:53.93
Then I went out to Arizona,
I kind of felt like it was the
00:24:53.97\00:24:57.01
environment that was the
problem so I kept moving around.
00:24:57.04\00:25:01.00
I went down to Kentucky and
then I went out to Arizona and
00:25:01.03\00:25:04.67
got in some trouble out there
and went back to Kentucky and
00:25:04.71\00:25:08.23
that is when I first started
to, I'm jumping around a lot.
00:25:08.27\00:25:12.69
I didn't cover a lot of things
but that's when I realized
00:25:12.73\00:25:17.12
what I found out
about the power of prayer.
00:25:17.16\00:25:19.21
Now jumping way back in 1956
my grandfather brought us to
00:25:19.25\00:25:24.22
church for three years and I
was given a Bible for perfect
00:25:24.26\00:25:29.19
attendance and I carried
that Bible with me through
00:25:29.23\00:25:32.19
everything, through the gang
situation, even when I was in
00:25:32.22\00:25:36.44
a motorcycle gang. -
why did you carry it?
00:25:36.47\00:25:38.64
I didn't then but I believe
now, even in Vietnam I had
00:25:38.68\00:25:42.10
that Bible, I was a
machine gun on a helicopter and
00:25:42.13\00:25:45.52
I always had that Bible with me.
00:25:45.56\00:25:46.70
I believe it was the
only, I was very stubborn, very
00:25:46.74\00:25:50.55
hard to get through to, I
didn't trust anybody anymore.
00:25:50.58\00:25:54.36
All my life everybody
that I trusted that me down.
00:25:54.40\00:25:56.42
So I didn't trust anybody
anymore and that Bible was the
00:25:56.45\00:26:00.45
only thing, I think the only
connection that kept me with
00:26:00.48\00:26:03.70
God because I would pray, I
don't know why and I didn't know
00:26:03.73\00:26:06.92
who to but I didn't
realize the power of prayer and
00:26:06.95\00:26:09.79
I didn't realize how
much that Bible meant.
00:26:09.83\00:26:11.32
I would pick it up and
read it every once in while, but
00:26:11.36\00:26:15.13
it didn't make sense to me
until later on when I was back
00:26:15.16\00:26:18.90
down in Kentucky with my dad.
00:26:18.94\00:26:20.29
We were alongside a road
and we were putting pipe through
00:26:20.33\00:26:23.47
a road, underneath the
road and we see a solid ledge.
00:26:23.51\00:26:26.58
He wanted to try it again after
we tried it several times and
00:26:26.61\00:26:30.05
I'm saying this isn't going
to work, we are just wasting
00:26:30.09\00:26:32.32
time and I'm handling these
200 pound things and I don't
00:26:32.36\00:26:34.56
want to do this no more.
00:26:34.59\00:26:36.00
Oh we forgot to pray he
said. I said wait a minute
00:26:36.03\00:26:38.90
we are on a public
road here, we're going
00:26:38.93\00:26:41.77
to pray, well okay.
00:26:41.81\00:26:43.04
So he said kneel down,
were going to kneel down so
00:26:43.08\00:26:45.11
we kneel down and we pray and
I'm pray that nobody comes by,
00:26:45.15\00:26:48.76
I don't want anybody to see
me. Oh man I was embarrassed.
00:26:48.80\00:26:52.38
But we got down to put
the thing through and it hits
00:26:52.42\00:26:55.29
again and see I told you
this thing ain't going to work.
00:26:55.33\00:26:57.84
He said wait a second,
just wait a second he pulled it
00:26:57.87\00:27:00.35
back out a little bit and
put it back in and it went
00:27:00.39\00:27:03.08
through just like he was
going through hot butter and
00:27:03.11\00:27:05.53
that's when prayer
started to mean something to me.
00:27:05.57\00:27:07.96
From there on then
things started to change.
00:27:07.99\00:27:10.83
I didn't change right
then, I was still running with
00:27:10.87\00:27:14.16
motorcycle gangs, I did
actually finally join one down
00:27:14.20\00:27:17.46
there in Kentucky, but
things like the Sabbath,
00:27:17.49\00:27:19.69
I wouldn't do
anything on the Sabbath.
00:27:19.73\00:27:21.62
When it came Friday sundown
I told the boys I will see you
00:27:21.66\00:27:25.10
tomorrow night or something
but it started to work on me.
00:27:25.14\00:27:28.51
Then I start watching things
like Kenneth Cox tapes and
00:27:28.55\00:27:31.65
different things like that.
- I love him, do you love him?
00:27:31.69\00:27:34.76
Oh yeah it's fantastic.
00:27:34.79\00:27:36.23
And that is what brought me
into the situation I am in now.
00:27:36.26\00:27:39.94
I am so stubborn God literally
had to put me flat on my face
00:27:39.97\00:27:43.61
several times in my life,
I have been through several
00:27:43.65\00:27:46.22
careers because I am so
stubborn and I believe that now
00:27:46.25\00:27:48.79
is the reason, He
wanted to get my attention.
00:27:48.83\00:27:50.66
I wasn't giving it, having
a hard time trusting I think
00:27:50.70\00:27:55.50
was the major issue but
I would be doing good and
00:27:55.54\00:27:58.41
everything was going great
and wham, I'm literally flat on
00:27:58.44\00:28:01.15
my back with injuries.
I'm saying why me, why does
00:28:01.19\00:28:04.35
this have to happen to me?
00:28:04.39\00:28:05.70
I never blamed God, I always
looked to okay, what am I doing?
00:28:05.73\00:28:09.65
There is something I
am doing wrong so I never
00:28:09.69\00:28:12.32
blamed God even though
for a long time I didn't know
00:28:12.35\00:28:14.96
about Him. I never
blamed Him, I would talk to Him
00:28:14.99\00:28:17.56
and didn't know
who I was talking to.
00:28:17.60\00:28:19.07
During all that time during
that time you were running
00:28:19.11\00:28:22.47
and doing all this stuff
and God was present enough that
00:28:22.50\00:28:25.45
when you turned with Him
you knew that He was there.
00:28:25.48\00:28:28.35
And when I did turn to Him,
how do I know this is for real?
00:28:28.39\00:28:32.33
Then He started showing me
things in my mind and bringing
00:28:32.37\00:28:36.28
back things of times
when there was no other way
00:28:36.31\00:28:38.88
I could have came out of it.
00:28:38.91\00:28:40.34
I should be
alive today. - Exactly!
00:28:40.38\00:28:41.92
There is many times I
should have been dead.
00:28:41.96\00:28:43.29
Okay you want to hold that
because I want to get back to
00:28:43.33\00:28:45.49
you, okay Jeanette we
didn't hear about you.
00:28:45.53\00:28:48.49
I know, first of all I
know you're a criminologist,
00:28:48.53\00:28:52.34
you work with people in
recovery, you're an incredible
00:28:52.38\00:28:56.20
woman of God that works
in this area, but you have
00:28:56.24\00:29:00.03
your own story on top of that.
00:29:00.06\00:29:01.61
I have to say in the
stories that I heard here today
00:29:01.64\00:29:04.03
have been very interesting
and I also want the audience out
00:29:04.07\00:29:07.28
there to understand a lot
of times that just the denial
00:29:07.32\00:29:10.50
of something is what
makes the situation worse.
00:29:10.53\00:29:13.56
You know I have a
child, I have one daughter and
00:29:13.60\00:29:16.59
she will be 17 next month.
00:29:16.62\00:29:17.80
It's interesting because
I call her my miracle baby.
00:29:17.83\00:29:21.70
She came at a time where
most women my age would have
00:29:21.73\00:29:25.24
aborted, she was my senior
year college, I had a full
00:29:25.27\00:29:28.24
scholarship to law school
and I had to decide whether
00:29:28.28\00:29:30.81
I was going to go to law
school or have this baby when
00:29:30.84\00:29:33.34
I was a single mom.
00:29:33.37\00:29:34.85
The Lord let me know, the
Lord and I made an agreement
00:29:34.88\00:29:38.69
that if this child was going
to be my blessing, that God
00:29:38.72\00:29:42.48
was going to provide for
me until she was an adult.
00:29:42.51\00:29:45.95
I agreed that I was going
to go through with what God
00:29:45.99\00:29:49.40
wanted for me and
I gave birth to her.
00:29:49.43\00:29:51.30
She was born two months
early, she weighed 3 pounds and
00:29:51.34\00:29:56.48
everyone in that emergency
room, the prenatal unit,
00:29:56.52\00:30:01.38
intensive care unit was
worried about their children in
00:30:01.42\00:30:04.52
there because they're an
incubator they are so fragile
00:30:04.55\00:30:07.62
they are tiny and fit in
the palm of your hand and I was
00:30:07.66\00:30:10.41
the only mom that didn't care.
00:30:10.45\00:30:12.00
I would just walk in and
they would ask why do you feel
00:30:12.03\00:30:14.52
so confident, because God
doesn't give things to take them
00:30:14.55\00:30:17.23
away and they were surprised
that I would say that because
00:30:17.27\00:30:20.43
I was the new mom at the
time I was 25 years old and was
00:30:20.47\00:30:23.60
young and had
never had a child before.
00:30:23.63\00:30:25.78
I was so confident when I
walked into that unit and said
00:30:25.82\00:30:28.41
I would want to see my baby,
pull her out of the incubator
00:30:28.45\00:30:31.01
and wrapped her
around and cuddle her.
00:30:31.05\00:30:32.73
They would say aren't
you afraid she might die?
00:30:32.76\00:30:35.13
Like I said I serve a
God that doesn't take away
00:30:35.17\00:30:37.52
what He gives and I
was always very confident
00:30:37.55\00:30:39.87
throughout her childhood.
00:30:39.91\00:30:41.25
But as the years went by was
listened to Susan's story and
00:30:41.29\00:30:44.10
it was very impacting because
I think a lot of Christian
00:30:44.14\00:30:47.12
families are suffering
internally and not talking about
00:30:47.15\00:30:50.10
certain things that I
believe are really hurting.
00:30:50.13\00:30:53.38
Just recently about a
year and a half ago my daughter
00:30:53.41\00:30:57.26
started cutting herself
and its devastating when you're
00:30:57.29\00:31:01.08
a counselor and to find out
your sleeping a bedroom away
00:31:01.11\00:31:04.87
and find out that your
own child is doing this.
00:31:04.90\00:31:07.15
Jeanette do you feel like
you should have seen this,
00:31:07.18\00:31:09.81
should have seen some
signs, I should've been there?
00:31:09.84\00:31:12.58
My reaction, you know me
and you know how strong I am,
00:31:12.62\00:31:15.32
my daughter actually
had her friend come over so
00:31:15.35\00:31:18.57
she could have the
courage to show me her arms.
00:31:18.61\00:31:21.51
It's summertime and
she's wearing long sleeves and
00:31:21.54\00:31:24.40
she says mom we have
to tell you something.
00:31:24.44\00:31:26.49
So when I go back out to
see what she had to tell me
00:31:26.52\00:31:29.31
she rolls up her sleeves
and see her arms all cut up
00:31:29.35\00:31:32.25
and my reaction was to
run out of the room screaming.
00:31:32.28\00:31:35.15
This is not the
reaction you would have expected
00:31:35.18\00:31:37.56
a counselor to have but
the devastation of remembering
00:31:37.59\00:31:40.52
that day when she was born
saying God doesn't take away
00:31:40.55\00:31:43.44
what He gives you it
is like I was answering,
00:31:43.48\00:31:46.38
I was asking God
what is going on?
00:31:46.41\00:31:48.56
- knowing she could possibly
take herself out. - exactly.
00:31:48.59\00:31:51.68
So the interesting thing
about cutting is that it is
00:31:51.72\00:31:54.26
getting to the edge, not
necessarily killing yourself.
00:31:54.29\00:31:57.13
I didn't understand as
much about cutting at the time
00:31:57.16\00:31:59.96
and I started to do
more research on it.
00:31:59.99\00:32:01.79
The fear that I had was in
one of her cutting episodes
00:32:01.83\00:32:07.75
if she would cut a
vein and end up dying.
00:32:07.78\00:32:09.66
The idea of losing the only
child you have, any child for
00:32:09.69\00:32:13.24
that matter, it doesn't matter
if you have 10 or 12, this
00:32:13.28\00:32:16.80
is a child that I believed
was God was blessing me because
00:32:16.84\00:32:20.13
she was the one that
brought me back to the Lord.
00:32:20.16\00:32:21.69
I had left the church for
13 years and my daughter says
00:32:21.72\00:32:23.82
mom I'm getting baptized
and you need to be there.
00:32:23.86\00:32:25.92
I need your blessing.
00:32:25.96\00:32:27.47
She basically brought
me back to Jesus and I
00:32:27.51\00:32:30.86
felt this was God's tool and
I'm saying how could You bring
00:32:30.90\00:32:33.50
her in my life and then take
her away, something is wrong
00:32:33.53\00:32:36.10
and I just didn't know.
00:32:36.13\00:32:37.44
Immediately the human side
of you says, get her some help.
00:32:37.48\00:32:40.93
So the next day I am on
the phone, I call the church,
00:32:40.96\00:32:43.71
I call the school, and I
get the name of a therapist and
00:32:43.74\00:32:46.46
I get her in therapy right away.
00:32:46.49\00:32:47.98
Okay I'm feeling a little
bit better because I'm doing
00:32:48.02\00:32:50.31
something, just our
natural instinct. - you're not
00:32:50.34\00:32:52.57
feeling powerless. - I'm not
feeling powerless and she has
00:32:52.60\00:32:54.93
a therapist and I think I'm
doing something and it is good.
00:32:54.96\00:32:58.27
I'm talking to her and pray
with her saying okay God I need
00:32:58.30\00:33:01.74
You in this and God and I
we talked very down-to-earth.
00:33:01.77\00:33:05.17
I said God you have to
work with me on this one.
00:33:05.21\00:33:07.36
I had asked God that if I
was going to work with those
00:33:07.39\00:33:10.63
people that He felt was
my responsibility, which was
00:33:10.66\00:33:13.83
working with addicts as you
know, that He had to take care
00:33:13.86\00:33:16.58
of my only child and that
was the agreement God and I had.
00:33:16.62\00:33:19.31
I was saying okay
God have you failed me?
00:33:19.34\00:33:21.11
Have You come to the
point where I am so busy
00:33:21.15\00:33:23.54
working with other people
that you have forgotten me?
00:33:23.57\00:33:26.26
This is an agreement
you and I had. - You forgot
00:33:26.30\00:33:28.95
to take care of my baby.
00:33:28.99\00:33:29.97
You forgot to take care
of my baby, what is going on?
00:33:30.01\00:33:32.03
So the despair just gets
out of hand and you don't know
00:33:32.07\00:33:34.06
what to do and so I then
started taking her to therapy.
00:33:34.10\00:33:37.16
But the cutting
continued and I said okay God
00:33:37.19\00:33:39.33
you are not
listening. I'm talking about,
00:33:39.36\00:33:41.49
I'm screaming I'm
not even praying anymore.
00:33:41.52\00:33:43.79
Talk about come
boldly, I was screaming.
00:33:43.82\00:33:46.02
My family didn't even
recognize me because I isolated
00:33:46.05\00:33:48.56
myself because I am a
sociable person but when I get
00:33:48.60\00:33:51.04
into a situation like this I
don't want anybody around me.
00:33:51.08\00:33:52.83
So I am not even on my
knees, I have my head on the
00:33:52.86\00:33:56.78
floor going God this is it?
00:33:56.81\00:33:58.66
You either take
me, but please don't
00:33:58.70\00:34:02.48
let me see my child kill
herself because that is the
00:34:02.51\00:34:04.40
one thing I cannot bear.
00:34:04.43\00:34:05.56
So I came boldly before
Him and said Lord you had to
00:34:05.59\00:34:08.54
work with me. - as you're
talking what I want you to
00:34:08.58\00:34:11.49
think about too, and
I know you know this.
00:34:11.53\00:34:13.46
There is a lot of people
watching this show and a lot of
00:34:13.50\00:34:16.16
people that have kids acting
out and are out of control,
00:34:16.19\00:34:18.82
or drugs, cutting and
depressed or whatever.
00:34:18.85\00:34:22.61
Getting into lifestyles on same-
sex relationship or whatever.
00:34:22.64\00:34:26.14
They are feeling the same
way is that they want to throw
00:34:26.17\00:34:28.75
themselves on the ground
so as you're talking you know
00:34:28.79\00:34:31.33
that you are
talking to tons of folks?
00:34:31.36\00:34:32.85
Absolutely, and the interesting
thing was I took her to her
00:34:32.89\00:34:35.99
Doctor, who also
is a Christian Doctor,
00:34:36.02\00:34:38.00
and he prescribes
some antidepressants.
00:34:38.04\00:34:39.95
They tried one and it was
making her aggressive, for the
00:34:39.99\00:34:42.35
first time in her life she's
beating people up I'm going
00:34:42.39\00:34:44.86
okay Lord this is not
working out, work with me here.
00:34:44.90\00:34:47.27
So they changed her medication
and now she is suicidal.
00:34:47.30\00:34:50.23
Just for people that are
listening, for you guys, I know
00:34:50.27\00:34:53.46
her daughter and she is
so sweet and so when she says
00:34:53.49\00:34:56.65
it's not like
her, it's not like her.
00:34:56.68\00:35:00.13
Not at all, this child has
never had a fistfight and she
00:35:00.16\00:35:02.82
is having a fistfight over
lunch at school, over lunch.
00:35:02.85\00:35:06.23
She is fighting over food
and she weighs what 90 pounds
00:35:06.26\00:35:09.60
so it doesn't make any sense.
00:35:09.64\00:35:12.18
I said okay if the medication
and we decide to take her
00:35:12.21\00:35:14.96
off the medication and
change it to another medication.
00:35:14.99\00:35:17.56
This medication is making
her suicidal so the cutting is
00:35:17.60\00:35:19.95
getting worse and now she's
talking about ending her life
00:35:19.99\00:35:22.30
and I called the elders of
the church and they come and
00:35:22.33\00:35:24.61
pray with her and
I'll literally trying
00:35:24.64\00:35:26.26
everything at this point.
00:35:26.29\00:35:27.64
You have never seen a mother
so desperate then when your
00:35:27.67\00:35:30.76
child's life is at stake.
00:35:30.80\00:35:32.27
What I did finally is I said
okay Lord, I need Your help.
00:35:32.30\00:35:35.56
That night I kept
hearing the Lord speak to me and
00:35:35.60\00:35:38.71
He usually wakes me up at
the time when He knows I'm not
00:35:38.74\00:35:40.80
awake, four in the morning
the Lord keeps waking me up
00:35:40.84\00:35:42.83
and said okay Lord You have
to be talking to me because You
00:35:42.87\00:35:44.61
know I don't get up
at this time, what's up?
00:35:44.64\00:35:46.64
All He kept impressing me
was about anointing, get her
00:35:46.68\00:35:50.34
anointed, get her anointed
when all else fails try God.
00:35:50.38\00:35:53.55
Thinking to myself it's so
simple, it's what we tell every
00:35:53.59\00:35:56.74
body but sometimes the obvious
doesn't come to us Christians
00:35:56.77\00:35:59.89
as a first resort.
00:35:59.93\00:36:01.77
So here I was going okay
what am I going to do with my
00:36:01.80\00:36:04.35
child, so I actually
called the Pastor and the Pastor
00:36:04.39\00:36:06.79
said I don't think anointing
is the right thing to do.
00:36:06.82\00:36:09.71
I said excuse me, you
better bring the oil because
00:36:09.74\00:36:12.70
- bring that oil can I
want this kid - you bring
00:36:12.74\00:36:15.66
that oil over here
because because if you
00:36:15.69\00:36:17.06
don't anoint her, I will, some-
body is going to anoint her.
00:36:17.09\00:36:19.14
Son called one of the
female elders of the church
00:36:19.18\00:36:21.75
and she said I'll go and do it.
00:36:21.78\00:36:23.72
She was willing to do it
but she called the Pastor and
00:36:23.76\00:36:26.08
the Pastor said
okay fine I will go.
00:36:26.12\00:36:27.55
So he came over to the
house and he anointed her and
00:36:27.58\00:36:31.69
she has not cut
herself since Cheri.
00:36:31.72\00:36:33.31
I praise God for this, I
know there are times when we
00:36:33.35\00:36:37.12
start to blame ourselves,
our first reaction is to blame
00:36:37.15\00:36:40.89
ourselves, where did I
go wrong, what didn't I see?
00:36:40.93\00:36:44.08
But the bottom line, it doesn't
matter whose fault it is,
00:36:44.11\00:36:47.10
what the bottom line
is who can heal this body?
00:36:47.14\00:36:49.72
I and I have to say I love
my daughter dearly and if she is
00:36:49.76\00:36:53.25
watching she better know
this because to me that was
00:36:53.29\00:36:56.11
probably the most devastating,
I'm talking about even at
00:36:56.14\00:36:58.92
her birth being 3 pounds
didn't scare me as much as
00:36:58.96\00:37:02.61
seeing my child cutting herself.
00:37:02.64\00:37:04.19
That was more than I could
bear, so I can just imagine
00:37:04.22\00:37:07.93
what your family is going
through because honestly it is
00:37:07.97\00:37:10.93
devastating, even when I
hear other people talk about
00:37:10.96\00:37:14.01
cutting or even families
mentioning it I relive that
00:37:14.04\00:37:17.02
moment in my mind, it's just
devastating, it's devastating.
00:37:17.06\00:37:20.63
It is so devastating so I
just know that if there is an
00:37:20.66\00:37:23.38
audience out there that is
going through similar stuff,
00:37:23.41\00:37:26.15
they need to really put this
at the foot of the Jesus and
00:37:26.19\00:37:28.85
need to let God be the One to
take control because guess what?
00:37:28.89\00:37:32.08
He made you, He is the
only One that can fix you.
00:37:32.12\00:37:34.67
I said God if she is going
to be for Your glory You have
00:37:34.71\00:37:38.36
got to fix this child because
that is Your child, more than
00:37:38.39\00:37:42.01
my child, that is Your child.
00:37:42.04\00:37:43.43
Amen so this show, what's really
going to be interesting is we
00:37:43.46\00:37:47.02
are going to close out
this show in a different way
00:37:47.06\00:37:48.61
then we ever did before.
00:37:48.65\00:37:50.45
I want to go ahead and
teach on the Holy Spirit,
00:37:50.49\00:37:53.56
talk a little bit
about anointing and Jeannette
00:37:53.60\00:37:56.60
I would like you to sit up
here with me and if you want
00:37:56.64\00:37:58.68
to throw
anything in, just jump in.
00:37:58.72\00:38:00.79
But first of all I want to
start out with is I had chased
00:38:00.83\00:38:04.99
my recovery for a long time,
trying to do the right thing.
00:38:05.03\00:38:08.54
I'm a heroine addict, I
had depression, I have genetic
00:38:08.57\00:38:11.65
stuff, I have attachment
disorders, and bonding disorders
00:38:11.69\00:38:14.73
and don't know how to
trust and all that stuff.
00:38:14.77\00:38:16.78
Homeless for 10 years, I didn't
have any skills and didn't
00:38:16.82\00:38:19.93
have anything to pull from
and Betty you are talking about
00:38:19.96\00:38:24.24
that sense of being alone,
I thought Satan would nail me
00:38:24.27\00:38:28.51
with this image that I
was going to die homeless
00:38:28.55\00:38:31.95
on the streets of LA pushing
a shopping cart around and
00:38:31.98\00:38:34.44
I would be so afraid, I
don't want to die alone.
00:38:34.47\00:38:38.05
It was so scary to me
and it was so powerful and
00:38:38.09\00:38:41.08
I remember thinking
God, I'm okay I'll try this,
00:38:41.11\00:38:44.07
I'll try this next book.
00:38:44.11\00:38:45.77
I will read some more or
have somebody tell me some
00:38:45.81\00:38:49.86
thing and I will try
to figure something out.
00:38:49.89\00:38:51.50
And after 20 some years He
says, I want to empower you to
00:38:51.54\00:38:57.61
change your life, and I
started to really get that
00:38:57.64\00:39:00.65
empowerment to change
my life was to get anointed
00:39:00.69\00:39:03.63
and to get baptized through
the Holy Spirit to understand
00:39:03.67\00:39:07.67
what Christ meant when He
left and said, I'm leaving but
00:39:07.70\00:39:11.33
I want to send to you the
Holy Spirit to fill you up,
00:39:11.37\00:39:14.93
to help you get victory over
all this junk and I'm thinking
00:39:14.96\00:39:17.98
wait a minute I thought to
give victory overall this junk
00:39:18.02\00:39:21.31
was to get good counselor,
to get into a good 12 step
00:39:21.35\00:39:24.80
group, to get in a support
group or whatever and God says
00:39:24.83\00:39:28.44
you know what, I think God
told me I want to heal you.
00:39:28.47\00:39:31.26
I want to be your counselor,
I want to be your friend
00:39:31.30\00:39:34.05
I want to be what
brings you into recovery.
00:39:34.09\00:39:35.91
So I started to try to get
people to anoint me and I am so
00:39:35.94\00:39:39.10
ridiculous, I'm like an
addict in recovery and I'm out
00:39:39.13\00:39:42.26
lunch and a little flaky.
00:39:42.29\00:39:43.57
People don't want to work
with me, you know that, it is so
00:39:43.60\00:39:47.52
true, I am not exaggerating
so I'm telling people you know
00:39:47.56\00:39:51.44
what excuse me Betty
would you anoint me because
00:39:51.47\00:39:54.29
I want to be anointed.
00:39:54.33\00:39:55.43
They would tell me you
know I don't know can I do that
00:39:55.46\00:39:58.73
or whatever. Mark you
work for the conference would
00:39:58.76\00:40:01.99
you anoint me, just
pour some oil on me,
00:40:02.03\00:40:03.71
I would like to speak
in tongues too because
00:40:03.75\00:40:05.40
travel to different countries
00:40:05.43\00:40:06.80
and I need to know other
languages because I minister
00:40:06.84\00:40:09.32
to people and they are
looking at me like I don't know
00:40:09.35\00:40:12.47
I mean I grabbed people and
one time I am in a Christian
00:40:12.51\00:40:15.60
bookstore and I look
over on the shelf and
00:40:15.63\00:40:19.09
there is anointing oil.
00:40:19.13\00:40:20.31
Oh my goodness, you
wouldn't believe it.
00:40:20.35\00:40:23.98
I thought if I could
ever find someone to anoint me
00:40:24.01\00:40:26.21
I better have some oil just
in case they don't have some.
00:40:26.25\00:40:31.13
So I looked at the price
$4.95. Shut up how fun is that?
00:40:31.16\00:40:36.01
$4.95 so I buy some and now
when I say Mark excuse me would
00:40:36.05\00:40:40.90
you anoint me I had some
oil? I would say that to people.
00:40:40.94\00:40:44.88
Oh Jeanette we are friends,
I have some oil have you ever
00:40:44.92\00:40:48.42
anointed someone? And I
remember just having the oil and
00:40:48.46\00:40:51.82
kept it in the pockets of
my jeans or whatever I had on.
00:40:51.86\00:40:55.26
So I had it in my pocket
just in case and one day I get
00:40:55.29\00:40:58.45
called to do a mission
trip and I want to be anointed
00:40:58.49\00:41:01.58
before I go, I couldn't find any
one to anoint me yet, and I am
00:41:01.62\00:41:05.02
in the bathroom and I have
in my hand and I'm telling you
00:41:05.06\00:41:08.38
I wanted to be anointed because
I believe the Bible talks
00:41:08.41\00:41:11.49
about the power of the Holy
Spirit and what God wants to
00:41:11.52\00:41:14.57
pour into us, I
believe it is on every page.
00:41:14.60\00:41:16.66
I just wanted it, there
were something in me that just
00:41:16.70\00:41:19.32
wanted someone to anoint me.
00:41:19.35\00:41:20.70
I just felt like you know
what God? I'm going to anoint
00:41:20.73\00:41:25.03
myself, is that all right?
00:41:25.06\00:41:26.96
I don't even know if that is
legal, I don't know if you're
00:41:27.00\00:41:30.37
going to accept that but
I beg You please be here.
00:41:30.40\00:41:33.34
So in the bathroom of my
house I slap some oil on my
00:41:33.38\00:41:36.25
forehead and said a prayer,
on my hands because I said God
00:41:36.29\00:41:38.94
I want You to anoint everything
I touch, I want You to
00:41:38.98\00:41:41.59
anoint everything
I bring into my life.
00:41:41.63\00:41:43.49
I want you to change
me and all the things that
00:41:43.53\00:41:45.56
I fight with and struggle with.
00:41:45.59\00:41:46.86
I beg you, I beg you so I
anointed myself and I felt
00:41:46.90\00:41:51.35
fabulous. - I think it
is just the desire to give
00:41:51.39\00:41:54.71
ourselves entirely to
God, there have been times
00:41:54.74\00:41:58.03
when they pass
around the offering plate
00:41:58.07\00:42:00.27
I want to put
myself in the there.
00:42:00.30\00:42:01.65
It's like what can I give God
that He doesn't already have?
00:42:01.69\00:42:05.49
I would like to get
into the offering plate.
00:42:05.52\00:42:08.09
Yeah the deacons
can't carry that much weight
00:42:08.13\00:42:10.52
but honestly that is
how I feel sometimes.
00:42:10.56\00:42:12.88
You know being in God's
work you want to give so much
00:42:12.91\00:42:16.38
that what else can you give?
There is not enough in my purse
00:42:16.42\00:42:20.05
that I can give that God
would, as far as I am concerned,
00:42:20.08\00:42:23.68
be satisfied, He wants me.
00:42:23.71\00:42:25.25
That's why I am serious I just
want to jump in the offering
00:42:25.28\00:42:28.37
plate and say Lord I'm
here, it's all of me take it.
00:42:28.40\00:42:32.01
I know it's a little
dysfunctional and a little
00:42:32.05\00:42:33.70
ADD, but work with me.
00:42:33.74\00:42:35.59
Well you know what I'm finding
out, and were going to go
00:42:35.62\00:42:38.47
to this one, and
please I'm not a good teacher.
00:42:38.51\00:42:44.17
I'm not even thinking I'm a
good Christian, I just love God.
00:42:44.21\00:42:47.99
And He just loves me and
so we are going to go and talk
00:42:48.02\00:42:51.47
about what Christ said when
He left is that I want to give
00:42:51.51\00:42:54.37
you the Holy Spirit, I want
to fill you up, I want to give
00:42:54.41\00:42:57.14
you victory and the joy of
the Lord to be your strength.
00:42:57.17\00:43:00.97
I want to so fill you up that
every day you will so almost
00:43:01.01\00:43:04.77
thrilled just to be alive.
00:43:04.80\00:43:06.49
I want to delight in you,
sing over you when you sleep.
00:43:06.53\00:43:09.58
All of those things, so I
started to look at what is the
00:43:09.62\00:43:12.64
Holy Spirit,
what does that mean?
00:43:12.67\00:43:13.83
I'm just going to share
with you a little bit of what
00:43:13.86\00:43:16.46
God shared with me
when I got anointed.
00:43:16.49\00:43:18.45
The first place is Galatians
5:22, and 5:22 talks about
00:43:18.49\00:43:24.86
the Holy Spirit and
the fruit of the Spirit.
00:43:24.90\00:43:27.35
What is amazing to me about
that whole thing is that it
00:43:27.38\00:43:30.52
says in 22 "but the fruit
of the Spirit is love, Joy,
00:43:30.55\00:43:34.01
"peace, long-suffering,
kindness goodness, faithfulness,
00:43:34.05\00:43:37.50
"gentleness, and self-control,"
oh please give me some of
00:43:37.53\00:43:41.56
that, "Self-control and
against such there is no law."
00:43:41.60\00:43:45.59
And I started to look
into all of this stuff and
00:43:45.63\00:43:48.10
I get all kinds of books.
00:43:48.13\00:43:49.44
I want to know the original
language, what does that mean
00:43:49.47\00:43:51.95
by that, so I want to go over
some of the fruits of the Spirit
00:43:51.99\00:43:55.44
Because even with your daughter,
even with everybody that
00:43:55.47\00:43:58.50
has talked about doing recovery
and what they have dealt
00:43:58.54\00:44:01.56
with, being adopted, being
abandoned, and all that stuff
00:44:01.60\00:44:04.99
is that the first thing that
God says, if you asked Me to
00:44:05.03\00:44:08.39
fill you up with the Holy
Spirit, it is as if Christ is
00:44:08.43\00:44:12.09
literally living in
us, God living in us.
00:44:12.13\00:44:15.18
That is what helps
people to get victory.
00:44:15.21\00:44:18.19
So the first thing in the
Holy Spirit is love, right?
00:44:18.22\00:44:21.59
That is the first
fruit of the Spirit.
00:44:21.63\00:44:23.32
I thought what kind of
love, so you go back to the
00:44:23.36\00:44:26.39
original language on that
kind of thing and what kind of
00:44:26.43\00:44:29.00
love to you think they are
talking about? - Godly love.
00:44:29.04\00:44:31.54
Agape love, Godly love and so
I am thinking, I have never been
00:44:31.58\00:44:35.84
loved growing up, when I was
on the streets the love I saw
00:44:35.88\00:44:40.11
and the stuff I saw on
the streets, the relationship
00:44:40.14\00:44:42.47
addiction's and all the junk.
00:44:42.51\00:44:43.72
You see it every day and what
you do as far as counseling.
00:44:43.76\00:44:46.18
All that stuff I saw
was not agape love, right?
00:44:46.22\00:44:50.76
I for twenty something years
in the first part of my recovery
00:44:50.79\00:44:54.35
tried to find it, try
to find it within myself.
00:44:54.39\00:44:57.60
Finally the Holy Spirit
says you don't even have it in
00:44:57.63\00:44:59.86
yourself, it is
not something you have.
00:44:59.89\00:45:02.21
It is not something you
can pull up, but I will pour it
00:45:02.25\00:45:06.43
into you freely, freely.
00:45:06.47\00:45:08.86
I'm thinking, Oh
shut up, God freely?
00:45:08.89\00:45:12.47
You would give me
this as a free gift?
00:45:12.51\00:45:16.06
He said every day, every
day but you have to ask Me.
00:45:16.10\00:45:20.51
You have to ask Me every
day, not once every 20 years,
00:45:20.54\00:45:24.92
not when you first
get saved, but every day.
00:45:24.96\00:45:28.34
I think the only reason He
says that every day, is because
00:45:28.38\00:45:31.71
we forget we need it.
00:45:31.75\00:45:33.39
Every day agape love and He
says I will pour it into you
00:45:33.42\00:45:37.02
and it will change who you are.
00:45:37.05\00:45:39.09
This is amazing to me and
I've just got to read this.
00:45:39.12\00:45:42.94
This is 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
if you want to follow me on
00:45:42.98\00:45:46.76
that. It's talking about love.
00:45:46.79\00:45:48.91
"Love is very patient and
kind, never jealous or envious,
00:45:48.95\00:45:53.54
"never boastful or proud, never
haughty or selfish, or rude
00:45:53.58\00:45:58.13
"and love does not demand
its own way." - I need that.
00:45:58.17\00:46:01.15
Because you know I can
demand my own way at times.
00:46:01.19\00:46:04.10
"It is not irritable, or
touchy, it does not hold grudges
00:46:04.14\00:46:07.49
"and will hardly even
notice when others do it wrong."
00:46:07.53\00:46:11.02
That is amazing to me. "It
is never glad about injustice
00:46:11.05\00:46:14.97
"but rejoices whenever the
truth wins out. If you love
00:46:15.01\00:46:18.86
"somebody you will be loyal
to them no matter what the cost
00:46:18.89\00:46:22.36
"is, you will always believe
in him or her and always express
00:46:22.40\00:46:25.83
"the best for him or her
and always stand your ground
00:46:25.86\00:46:28.79
"to defend them."
00:46:28.82\00:46:29.97
And I'm thinking what an amazing
thing, what an amazing thing.
00:46:30.01\00:46:33.21
So love is the first thing
He gives us and I think in that
00:46:33.25\00:46:36.82
gift of love when God says
I pour in agape love, we start
00:46:36.86\00:46:40.90
feeling less lonely, more
connected to God and it is not
00:46:40.94\00:46:44.97
something I do or get
counseling of, or read about or
00:46:45.01\00:46:48.80
understand, is what happens
with the baptism of the Holy
00:46:48.84\00:46:51.91
Spirit, with the indwelling
of the Holy Spirit because
00:46:51.95\00:46:54.98
of this agape love.
00:46:55.02\00:46:56.51
It's amazing to me,
the next one is joy.
00:46:56.54\00:46:59.40
Hello, I smoked weed to get
joy but God says that joy that
00:46:59.43\00:47:03.72
you think you're going to
find by smoking weed, cutting on
00:47:03.76\00:47:07.75
yourself, getting on porn line
getting another woman that is
00:47:07.78\00:47:11.79
hot, I mean all that stuff,
that joy is never going to be
00:47:11.82\00:47:15.80
the same joy is
what I am talking about.
00:47:15.84\00:47:17.68
Your soul is looking for
the joy that I am talking about.
00:47:17.72\00:47:21.04
You don't have it within
you to muster it up, I will pour
00:47:21.07\00:47:24.19
it into you, I will give it
to you, that's second fruit.
00:47:24.23\00:47:27.31
The third is peace,
does anybody need some peace?
00:47:27.34\00:47:31.44
It is huge, absolutely
huge, so the next one is peace.
00:47:31.47\00:47:35.13
The next one after that
on the fruit of the Spirit is
00:47:35.16\00:47:38.78
long-suffering,
what does that mean?
00:47:38.82\00:47:41.03
That's why I think it is
funny because some of these
00:47:41.06\00:47:43.44
I don't even know the fruit
of long-suffering causes its
00:47:43.48\00:47:46.78
recipient to have forbearance,
self-restraint before they
00:47:46.81\00:47:50.57
proceed with actions, to
refrain from avenging ourselves.
00:47:50.60\00:47:53.88
You know long-suffering
with somebody, if somebody says
00:47:53.91\00:47:57.34
something that wrongs me
within my own nature I want to
00:47:57.37\00:48:00.76
pay them back, and sometimes
we pay them back by hurting
00:48:00.80\00:48:03.87
ourselves, sometimes we
pay them back by doing stuff
00:48:03.90\00:48:06.94
that absolutely is
destructive, absolutely.
00:48:06.98\00:48:10.12
God says I will pour into
you long-suffering, the ability
00:48:10.16\00:48:13.96
not to have to avenge
yourself, to give it to Me.
00:48:14.00\00:48:16.40
The next fruit He
talks about is gentleness.
00:48:16.44\00:48:18.77
That is so amazingly cool.
The quality of this gentleness
00:48:18.80\00:48:23.55
and kindness is
absolutely amazing.
00:48:23.58\00:48:25.64
The next one is goodness,
and to me I look at them as the
00:48:25.68\00:48:28.51
same thing and God says
they are really different and
00:48:28.55\00:48:30.99
I will teach you the
difference of what it means.
00:48:31.03\00:48:33.55
The next one is faith,
my absolute favorite one.
00:48:33.58\00:48:36.03
I will give you faith, a
deep abiding and firm conviction
00:48:36.07\00:48:40.88
in Me, in how God works,
and how all that stuff comes
00:48:40.92\00:48:44.70
about and works and God
says, I will give you that.
00:48:44.74\00:48:48.45
I will fill you up with
that, and what is really strange
00:48:48.48\00:48:51.91
to me? When I do something
like this, and I am so out of
00:48:51.94\00:48:55.12
my element, this is really
tough to put a show together
00:48:55.15\00:48:58.30
and have people come on
and everybody dealing with
00:48:58.33\00:49:00.32
different issues and people
being in different places in
00:49:00.35\00:49:02.57
their spiritual walk. -
That' were faith starts out.
00:49:02.61\00:49:04.76
That's where faith starts
out, God will pull it together.
00:49:04.79\00:49:08.12
It's amazing when I opened
up the halfway house there were
00:49:08.16\00:49:10.84
a lot of things, a lot of
challenges that we met up front.
00:49:10.88\00:49:13.53
But it is amazing
when you leap out in faith,
00:49:13.56\00:49:16.14
one of the first things I
did before I opened the doors
00:49:16.18\00:49:18.71
is I anointed the house.
00:49:18.74\00:49:20.19
I anointed the house but
not just the house, every single
00:49:20.23\00:49:24.26
bed, and the anointing was
that if this was going to be
00:49:24.29\00:49:27.77
for God that everyone
that came through there would
00:49:27.80\00:49:31.25
at least find
peace, if nothing else.
00:49:31.28\00:49:34.27
So as they come out it is
interesting because every single
00:49:34.31\00:49:37.24
person that has come out of
prison and has ended up in that
00:49:37.28\00:49:40.52
house will say, it's not
the Hilton but there is a lot of
00:49:40.55\00:49:43.91
peace here, and I said you
know what? that little bottle of
00:49:43.95\00:49:47.27
oil goes a long way.
00:49:47.30\00:49:48.79
Sometimes you think it has to
be a big event, but just that.
00:49:48.83\00:49:51.83
There's nothing magic
in oil, what is magic is in
00:49:51.87\00:49:55.77
the promise of
what the oil represents.
00:49:55.81\00:49:57.58
The oil represents a
dedication of something.
00:49:57.61\00:49:59.91
The Holy Spirit. -
absolutely you are dedicating
00:49:59.94\00:50:02.16
whatever or whomever it is
to the Lord in whatever we do.
00:50:02.20\00:50:06.11
It doesn't matter whether it
is a new car or house that you
00:50:06.15\00:50:09.50
just bought, even our home when
we buy, we dedicate our home
00:50:09.53\00:50:12.85
to God because everything
that we have belongs to Him.
00:50:12.88\00:50:15.68
That is what you are doing,
you are anointing yourself and
00:50:15.71\00:50:18.48
saying I belong to Him,
and everything I do is His.
00:50:18.51\00:50:21.49
Faith is something again we
can't muster up, can't muster up
00:50:21.52\00:50:25.02
When you're talking about
that when I read in the Bible,
00:50:25.05\00:50:28.52
and I wish I could
know offhand where this is,
00:50:28.55\00:50:30.92
but when I read in the Bible the
woman with the issue of blood.
00:50:30.96\00:50:34.67
This woman has been bleeding
for like 14 years, right?
00:50:34.71\00:50:39.33
14 years, in that culture when
you bleed even on your period,
00:50:39.36\00:50:42.87
you were considered unclean
and couldn't touch anyone and
00:50:42.91\00:50:46.09
couldn't be around anybody,
and I think of loneliness
00:50:46.13\00:50:49.13
and rejection issues at
all the junk I deal with.
00:50:49.17\00:50:52.58
This woman couldn't
even be touched for 14 years.
00:50:52.61\00:50:55.96
Couldn't be around her family,
couldn't have anybody say,
00:50:55.99\00:50:58.55
I'm so sorry what
you're going through.
00:50:58.58\00:51:00.46
Couldn't get any comfort
and she hears that Christ can
00:51:00.50\00:51:04.06
heal her, and He is going
by her and she knows she could
00:51:04.09\00:51:07.62
be stoned to death
if she even asked Him.
00:51:07.65\00:51:09.86
Excuse me but can You heal me?
00:51:09.89\00:51:11.83
So she says, if I
just fall on the ground and
00:51:11.87\00:51:15.93
somehow get to Him and
touch the Him I will be healed.
00:51:15.97\00:51:18.58
That's the gift of faith
that God poured into her.
00:51:18.62\00:51:21.16
She got on the ground and
she touched Him when He went by
00:51:21.20\00:51:24.37
just the hem of His garment,
just a little bit of the bottom
00:51:24.40\00:51:27.53
of His clothes and she
said I felt totally healed.
00:51:27.57\00:51:31.55
Christ turns around
and says, who touched me?
00:51:31.59\00:51:34.09
But that is the faith and God
said you cannot muster that up.
00:51:34.12\00:51:37.63
You can't bring that up within
yourself that kind of faith.
00:51:37.67\00:51:40.64
I have to give it to you as
a gift and it comes through the
00:51:40.68\00:51:43.76
Holy Spirit, but I died and
went back to My Father so you
00:51:43.79\00:51:46.84
could have the Holy
Spirit, so ask Me, ask Me!
00:51:46.87\00:51:49.03
It is all you have to do,
the Bible also says I so want to
00:51:49.07\00:51:52.94
give you the Holy Spirit
more than a parent wants to give
00:51:52.97\00:51:56.80
all good gifts
to their children,
00:51:56.84\00:51:58.53
I want to pour it into you.
00:51:58.57\00:52:00.01
That's what this whole
thing is about, for you to be
00:52:00.04\00:52:02.24
equipped with the Holy Spirit.
So faith is an amazing thing.
00:52:02.27\00:52:06.78
Meekness, mildness, and meekness
doesn't mean that I turn
00:52:06.82\00:52:11.29
into a wimp or something,
do you know what I mean?
00:52:11.32\00:52:13.82
The fruit of meekness brings
a mildness and forbearance
00:52:13.85\00:52:19.44
it is more of an inward grace.
00:52:19.47\00:52:21.58
It's like I actually...
The way Christ responded to
00:52:21.61\00:52:25.59
someone, that I actually
am gifted with the ability to
00:52:25.63\00:52:29.57
respond to somebody in that way.
00:52:29.61\00:52:31.35
What is amazing is all
those gifts of the Holy Spirit,
00:52:31.39\00:52:35.31
Jeanette what do you think
of all those gifts, the Holy
00:52:35.34\00:52:39.04
Spirit, the anointing and
what God has given us, will take
00:52:39.07\00:52:44.52
any of the issues we deal
with and make them not easier,
00:52:44.56\00:52:49.98
because issues are so
tough, but put hope in there.
00:52:50.01\00:52:53.26
For the first time in my
life, once I understand the Holy
00:52:53.29\00:52:56.21
Spirit and the giftings and
what God wants to do with that,
00:52:56.25\00:52:59.50
I have hope. - We talk about
faith and we talk about on the
00:52:59.53\00:53:03.12
surface because we put
more faith in the therapists and
00:53:03.15\00:53:06.70
medication then
in the One who heals.
00:53:06.73\00:53:09.12
And it's amazing that we
can have so much faith that if
00:53:09.15\00:53:11.55
I take this little pill
I'm going to feel better, or if
00:53:11.58\00:53:14.52
I go to this Doctor is to
make, but we don't put faith
00:53:14.55\00:53:17.45
in the Doctor of
doctors and say you know Lord,
00:53:17.49\00:53:20.23
You need to handle this.
00:53:20.26\00:53:21.94
We are literally running
out of time, we are so out of
00:53:21.97\00:53:25.02
time I want to say you know
what, you have to hear me with
00:53:25.05\00:53:28.06
this is that the only thing
that truly will actually heal
00:53:28.10\00:53:31.13
us, I'm not putting down
doctors, therapists or anything,
00:53:31.17\00:53:34.11
medications we all need
those at times and I understand
00:53:34.14\00:53:37.55
that but God says the Holy
Spirit and the death of Christ
00:53:37.58\00:53:40.62
and the blood of Christ and
all the promises I have given
00:53:40.66\00:53:43.67
you, that brings healing.
00:53:43.70\00:53:45.43
That brings healing and
not only temporary healing,
00:53:45.46\00:53:47.91
I would change the
very desires that you have,
00:53:47.94\00:53:50.66
and I would change the
stuff and anger that dwells
00:53:50.70\00:53:53.04
in you that makes you
want to cut, I will change
00:53:53.08\00:53:55.36
the things that get you
insecure enough or stressed out
00:53:55.39\00:53:58.49
where you need to be on porn.
00:53:58.52\00:53:59.86
I will change all the
junk because I will so fill
00:53:59.90\00:54:02.74
you up with these gifts that
you will be a man or woman of
00:54:02.77\00:54:06.69
God filled with
joy and loving life.
00:54:06.73\00:54:08.90
We will be right
back stay with us.
00:54:08.93\00:54:11.07
Amazing stories, real people
in real situations discussing
00:54:14.63\00:54:18.56
issues that really matter.
00:54:18.59\00:54:20.23
A complete first season of
Celebrating Life In Recover is
00:54:20.26\00:54:23.62
now available on DVD and
can be ordered by calling 3ABN
00:54:23.66\00:54:26.99
or online at 3ABN.org
hosted by Cheri Peters.
00:54:27.02\00:54:30.11
This season follows
principles of the book
00:54:30.14\00:54:33.19
'Steps to Christ'.
00:54:33.23\00:54:34.24
See for yourself how
God changed the lives of the
00:54:34.28\00:54:36.82
convicted and the accused
and victims of terrible crimes.
00:54:36.85\00:54:39.74
You won't want to miss a moment
00:54:39.78\00:54:41.38
of these powerful interviews.
00:54:41.42\00:54:42.98
I absolutely love the
topic of the Holy Spirit.
00:54:48.63\00:54:51.92
I love the way
God works with us.
00:54:51.95\00:54:53.16
I love the way God steps
into our life and it doesn't
00:54:53.20\00:54:56.22
matter the story
because everyone has one.
00:54:56.26\00:54:58.12
You heard everybody here on
the set, and I told you about
00:54:58.15\00:55:00.87
the guy that had the job
with darts and he threw them at
00:55:00.91\00:55:03.75
that map and each go anywhere
in the United States and
00:55:03.79\00:55:06.60
somebody would have a story.
00:55:06.63\00:55:07.82
God says the stories aren't
a big deal to Me, and I don't
00:55:07.85\00:55:10.61
want to discount what people
deal with, cutting is a huge
00:55:10.64\00:55:13.37
deal, depression, anger.
00:55:13.40\00:55:15.72
I have dealt with people
from domestic violence to
00:55:15.75\00:55:18.71
all the way to people who
have murdered their spouses and
00:55:18.74\00:55:21.03
all that stuff and God says you
know what? I want to heal you.
00:55:21.06\00:55:24.77
I want to heal you and you
don't have it in you to do this
00:55:24.80\00:55:28.23
so I need to pour my Holy
Spirit into you and I need to
00:55:28.27\00:55:31.45
change the very way you
think and all those things and
00:55:31.49\00:55:34.64
I want to do
that, I long to do that.
00:55:34.67\00:55:36.60
We want to judge each other
and say that so-and-so has gone
00:55:36.63\00:55:42.34
too far or whatever and
God says if you breathing
00:55:42.38\00:55:44.37
you have not gone too far.
00:55:44.40\00:55:46.63
I love the statements in
Steps To Christ, in Steps To
00:55:46.67\00:55:49.73
Christ it says, in the massive
gift of God's son, and I want
00:55:49.76\00:55:53.49
to say God's Son and the Holy
Spirit, God has encircled the
00:55:53.52\00:55:57.21
whole world with an
atmosphere of grace.
00:55:57.24\00:55:59.34
As real as the air that
circulates around the globe.
00:55:59.38\00:56:03.08
All who choose to breathe
this life-giving atmosphere will
00:56:03.11\00:56:06.69
grow into the statue of
men and women in Jesus Christ.
00:56:06.73\00:56:10.01
And she goes on to say as
the flower turns to the sun,
00:56:10.04\00:56:13.62
the bright beams of the sun
may bring out all the colors
00:56:13.65\00:56:17.16
and beauty and symmetry of this
flower we should turn to God and
00:56:17.19\00:56:20.78
say, God fill me up, fill
me up and change everything.
00:56:20.81\00:56:26.11
I want so much for You to
change me, I'm so twisted the
00:56:26.15\00:56:30.15
way I think is twisted, I
don't know how to deal with
00:56:30.19\00:56:33.34
anger, I don't know how to
do with any of that stuff and
00:56:33.37\00:56:36.49
I need You to heal me.
00:56:36.52\00:56:38.50
And when I talk about the
anointing of the Holy Spirit,
00:56:38.53\00:56:41.39
when we talk about baptism
of the Holy Spirit, it's simple,
00:56:41.43\00:56:44.37
all you have to do is by the
side of your bed kneel down and
00:56:44.41\00:56:47.17
say. I want You, I want
You to fill me up with the Holy
00:56:47.20\00:56:49.92
Spirit and I don't want
to deal with this anymore.
00:56:49.96\00:56:52.70
I want to go so far
beyond my original baptism that
00:56:52.74\00:56:55.45
I am forever changed.
00:56:55.49\00:56:56.61
And with the Holy Spirit
comes all the fruit of the
00:56:56.65\00:56:58.85
Holy Spirit and
that's love, joy, peace,
00:56:58.89\00:57:02.31
long-suffering, gentleness,
goodness, faith and meekness.
00:57:02.35\00:57:07.06
Wow! I just love that because
God says I am going to fill
00:57:07.09\00:57:10.72
you up, I'm going to change
you, I'm going to equip you
00:57:10.76\00:57:14.36
with everything you need
in order to have the life
00:57:14.39\00:57:17.07
you have always longed for.
00:57:17.11\00:57:18.62
Things that you try to
escape will never work but the
00:57:18.66\00:57:22.09
Holy Spirit of God will work
and you will feel the joy of
00:57:22.13\00:57:25.53
the Lord and it
will be your strength and
00:57:25.56\00:57:26.89
it will change everything.
00:57:26.92\00:57:28.04
We have to go and I want
you to know that I was blessed
00:57:28.07\00:57:32.24
by the show and I hope you were.
00:57:32.28\00:57:33.91
We will see you next
time and until then always
00:57:33.94\00:57:36.78
remember that God is
crazy about you, me too,
00:57:36.81\00:57:39.61
absolutely crazy about you.
00:57:39.65\00:57:42.17