Hello and welcome to
Celebrating Life In Recovery.
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I am Cheri your host and
today we will be looking at
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the importance of
coming out of hiding.
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Saying out loud
to God I am a mess.
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Come in and join us.
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The Bible says that he
who covers his sins shall not
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prosper, but whoever confesses
for his sake walks away
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stops doing it will have mercy.
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That is in Proverbs 28:13.
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I love that because when I
first came to Christ, I'm a
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mess, I'm a heroin addict,
I was in a drug house trying
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to kill myself, and I have
so many different things that
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were just were wrong.
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There was nothing that I
could pull from and say but
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this part of my life is okay.
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I came to God, and the
more I brought to Him, the more
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that I said to Him, you
know I am such a mess here
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and I need help here.
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I never felt condemned,
what I felt like is that He just
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took all that and said, I
love you and I can walk you out
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of that, and I forgive you.
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We're going to talk
about this on this show.
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We're going to talk about
confession, we are going to
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talk about what do I bring to
God, what don't I bring to God?
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What is God's response
to what I put on the table?
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It is so amazing, and if
you get this you will not be
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afraid to work on
any of your issues.
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But before we get started
I want to introduce you to
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who is at the café today.
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I have some incredible folks
here, some friends of mine.
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Fa'asoa, and I know that
you are in the seminary now and
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going to be a Pastor so
I'll call you Pastor Fa'asoa.
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So now before you get your
Pastorate, I want to confess
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a bunch of
stuff, No! I'm kidding.
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Mark is from the Oklahoma
conference, the treasurer,
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the most important person
at the conference, I think.
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Leticia, you are a R.N.
and married to Fa'asoa and just
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not just had a
baby, recently had a baby.
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Susan I love you and we
are going to be talking about
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all your stuff on
another show, I love that.
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Cliff and Freddie Harris,
I just want to say thank you
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so much for coming.
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Where actually going to do
your testimony Cliff, and you
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are going to tell us a little
bit, or a lot about how God
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brought you to place of healing.
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Then, what you are doing
with that, so I'm going to
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be blessed by that.
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Before we get into that, I
want to talk to you a little
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bit about confession.
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You know I like that because
when I met God, like I said,
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I was such a mess and
I'm strung out on heroin.
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I was depressed, I was so done.
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I had lived 10 years on the
street and was involved in a
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ton of different things and
I didn't believe there was a
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decent person on the planet.
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I have to say that a lot
because I was on the street for
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10 years and if I'm in a
Pastor or if I met a Doctor,
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met somebody that was in a
legitimate field, I met them
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because of darker addictions.
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I met them because they
had either sexual addictions or
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drug addictions, or they
wanted to walk on the darker
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side and those things.
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I didn't meet a lot of
people who are dishonest
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about who they were.
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So when I met God and realized
that He just wanted me to
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come to Him just as I am.
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I know there is a song,
and that might sound a little
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trite to say, but He said
come to me just as you are.
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I was sitting, like I said,
on a drug bed in a drug house
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trying to kill myself
and God was so incredible.
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He really did look at me
and said you are lovely to Me.
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I was such a mess, I was
such a mess and I remember
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sitting there thinking what
do you mean I'm lovely to You?
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You know I was molested all
my life, my father was caught
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the first time when
I was three months old.
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There was never a time
that I had some healthy stuff
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growing up and from that
going on the streets at 13 years
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old, getting into drugs,
had a pregnancy at 12 years old.
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Lost some twins, got into
stripping clubs in dealing
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drugs and all that stuff.
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I'm sitting there and feel
like the presence of God is
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there and He is saying, I
adore you, you are lovely.
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I'm thinking this can't
be God because I would think
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that God would be pointing
His finger at me and saying
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you know what, you are a mess.
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You have to clean up and every
thing about you is not good.
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You are not good, that is
what I expected God to say.
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He didn't, He said I so
love you, don't hurt yourself
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anymore, you don't
need to do this anymore.
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I remember just
feeling so amazingly loved.
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I even got a vision from
God that I was innocent in His
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eyes and I started to weep
because I thought innocent!
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I've never been innocent,
I'm angry and full of junk.
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He said you know what? You
have always been that way to
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Me and I promise you, if
you stand up and trust Me,
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I will walk you into
this relationship, this image
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I was showing you.
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I'm thinking, I would give
anything, if what You're saying
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is true, I would give anything.
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I started to come to
Christ and I remember thinking,
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this was so crazy, I remember
thinking I do trust You.
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As I read the Bible, the
Bible says God is going to give
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me a new mind and the
new heart and all that.
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I do not have even one thing
that I think about, and Cliff
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you are going to know this
is true and say the same thing
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I am sure, but one thing I
thought about that was normal.
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The things that went into my
head, this example, the first
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time I went to church, I
meet God, I turn it over,
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I trust Him that He is
going to help me in recovery.
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I go to church and I'm
sitting there and the offering
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plate goes by, I think
I really need some money.
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I could really use that,
and it took me five years to
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let the offering plate go
by without stealing something.
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It was like you know 20
bucks who is going to miss it?
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It was just like everything
I thought about was bad.
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And every single time I
would cry, I would be in prayer
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and just cry and
say God, you know what?
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Nothing, I can't even, the
Pastor with say something that
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I think could be taken a
little in an off-color way.
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I would be busting up
and people were looking at me
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like what do you think He said.
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I said you don't
even want me to say.
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And just an example of
that, there were soccer moms
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watching a soccer game and
I had a little girl and she
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was just so cute, in soccer.
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People with say
Cheri, why you so quiet?
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I was thinking because
everything I think is a little
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twisted, so I don't want
to just say a lot of things.
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They were saying no just
say whatever comes to your mind.
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They said, I just don't want to.
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So they had a whole soccer
team that got held up behind
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a train, right?
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So they get hold up behind
a train and they are late for
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the soccer game,
everybody is waiting for them.
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So when they got there,
everybody ran out into the field
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and people were talking
on the sidelines about times
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they had gotten held up
and were late for some things.
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I'm listening and
trying to be normal.
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When I try to be normal it's
really funny, because is this
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normal, or maybe this is
normal, I bet this is normal.
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I don't know how to be normal,
I will have to forget that.
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So I started laughing and
somebody said what's so funny?
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Oh you don't want to know.
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Oh we want to know. I
said no, no you don't.
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Come on Cheri we
want to know. I said okay.
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One time I was stuck at a
light, and I remember being
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stuck there and sat
there for the longest time.
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I changed radio stations,
I did whatever and then the
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sun started coming up,
and I thought I've been here
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a long time, about six hours.
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Somebody said six hours
you are stuck at a light?
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Well I was high on
acid, they said what!
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It was like all the
normal moms was just like maybe
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you shouldn't say anything.
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But God was never like that,
He said just tell Me stuff.
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If you have things you need
to share with Me, things about
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drugs, inappropriate thinking,
or wanting to steal from
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the offering
plate, or what ever.
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I couldn't drive down the
street after I got in recovery,
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I had 42 traffic
warrants for my arrest
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when I got in recovery.
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So for years and years and
years I constantly looked in
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my rearview mirror and if
there was a police officer
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there, and now you have
to know I'm a Christian and
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legit and doing
everything right.
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I got a nursing degree and
went back to school, but if a
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police officer pulled behind
me, my heart would just race.
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Oh I'm going to
prison, this is terrible.
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I wasn't even doing anything
wrong, but God just said
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confess it to
Me, bring it to Me.
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I'm not going to ask you to
do like a thousand repentative
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prayers about something,
I'm not going to ask you to be
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good for the next year and
then I'll forgive you, I will
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forgive you as soon as
you bring it up to the table.
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As soon as you bring it to
the table I am not going to
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make you spill
your own blood for that.
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I've already done that,
you don't have to do it and I
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promise you I will put
My hand on you and heal you.
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I thought no way, and I start
bringing things to the table,
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not the ugly stuff
first, you know what I mean?
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First of all I
brought the drug addiction.
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Oh no I didn't, I brought
all my victims stuff first.
00:10:07.44\00:10:10.81
Things that were
done to me, because it was
00:10:10.84\00:10:12.65
somebody else's fault, first
I put molest, the fact that
00:10:12.68\00:10:16.21
my mom didn't love me, the
fact that I never learned to
00:10:16.24\00:10:19.28
trust anybody, the fact
that I had detachment disorders
00:10:19.31\00:10:22.19
and bonding disorders and
didn't know how to socialize
00:10:22.22\00:10:25.37
because I'm
underdeveloped socially.
00:10:25.40\00:10:27.02
And I put that stuff on
the table and He would do this
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incredible thing, He would
clear the table and set this
00:10:29.74\00:10:33.72
banquet, the stuff wouldn't
stay on the table very long.
00:10:33.75\00:10:37.42
I thought how did You do that?
00:10:37.45\00:10:39.05
So then I started putting
the darker stuff on there,
00:10:39.08\00:10:41.29
the things I was ashamed about,
the things that I probably
00:10:41.32\00:10:44.44
won't even share here in
the café because some things are
00:10:44.47\00:10:47.18
between you and God.
00:10:47.21\00:10:48.52
That stuff I will put on
the table, and I will put it on
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the table with my hands
shaking, I'm so afraid because
00:10:51.95\00:10:54.92
I can't stand it because if
You don't accept me, I don't
00:10:54.95\00:10:58.50
know what I am going to do.
00:10:58.53\00:10:59.50
If You can't forgive this, I
don't know what I'm going to do
00:10:59.51\00:11:02.38
when I put it on the
table and I felt His smile.
00:11:02.41\00:11:04.93
I can forgive all of it,
there is nothing that you have
00:11:04.96\00:11:08.29
or have ever done,
then I cannot forgive.
00:11:08.32\00:11:11.37
I thought man, how
cool is He! How cool is He!
00:11:11.40\00:11:15.95
I felt like that
with every single thing.
00:11:15.98\00:11:18.13
One time I was driving down
the street, and I was having
00:11:18.16\00:11:22.63
an incredible time with God.
00:11:22.66\00:11:24.36
I was loving Him and
singing some worship songs and
00:11:24.39\00:11:27.73
I had the radio on.
00:11:27.76\00:11:29.00
The song came on 'I can
only imagine', you guys know
00:11:29.03\00:11:31.56
that song? Café audience: yes!
00:11:31.59\00:11:32.67
I can only imagine, what
will I do when I'm walking
00:11:32.70\00:11:36.03
with Christ, when I'm standing
there and looking at Him?
00:11:36.06\00:11:39.20
How cool, will
I be able to sing?
00:11:39.23\00:11:41.66
Will I stand in
awe? Will I be silent?
00:11:41.69\00:11:43.65
Nobody that knows me thinks
I will be silent, but I may
00:11:43.68\00:11:46.77
be, it's like
you never can tell.
00:11:46.80\00:11:49.03
Then there is a line
that they keep repeating,
00:11:49.06\00:11:51.89
Will I dance for you
Jesus or in awe of You be still?
00:11:51.92\00:11:55.56
I was a stripper in a
club when I was 13 years old.
00:11:55.59\00:11:59.73
I've seen some really
dark stuff when I was young.
00:11:59.76\00:12:03.48
I started crying when I
heard that line, I started just
00:12:03.51\00:12:07.24
weeping because I thought
that was the worst part of my
00:12:07.27\00:12:10.16
past that I could think of.
00:12:10.19\00:12:11.77
Of course I am not going to
bring that to heaven with me.
00:12:11.80\00:12:14.26
Through the Holy Spirit, He
silently said, you will dance
00:12:14.29\00:12:17.68
for Me and it will be
amazing, it will be holy.
00:12:17.71\00:12:20.76
I will give all that back
and you will be full of joy.
00:12:20.79\00:12:23.81
I have forgiven
you Cheri, let that go.
00:12:23.84\00:12:26.60
I thought God, how good are You?
00:12:26.63\00:12:29.23
So I want to say that we
are going introduce you to the
00:12:29.26\00:12:32.51
guests and have a testimony,
but I want to tell you:
00:12:32.54\00:12:34.66
you know what, have you
ever heard of bankruptcy court?
00:12:42.44\00:12:45.39
In bankruptcy court is
when you are overwhelmed with
00:12:45.42\00:12:50.28
bills, and you can afford
to pay the bill's you have.
00:12:50.31\00:12:53.31
There are laws in place
to step in and help you out.
00:12:53.34\00:12:57.14
I'm not suggesting bankruptcy,
but listen to this analogy.
00:12:57.17\00:13:00.33
It's going to be weak
compared to heavenly things.
00:13:00.36\00:13:03.02
I think it explains a lot.
00:13:03.05\00:13:05.18
In bankruptcy court if I
come up and give you the credit
00:13:05.21\00:13:09.28
cards, and give you the
debt and show you where I am
00:13:09.31\00:13:11.74
stuck at in
medical bills and stuff.
00:13:11.77\00:13:14.65
The judge can only
forgive what I have given them.
00:13:14.68\00:13:18.37
The laws say that they
will, anything I give them they
00:13:18.40\00:13:21.96
will forgive, but if
I forget some things,
00:13:21.99\00:13:24.19
those things aren't forgiven.
00:13:24.22\00:13:26.48
God says get this, all of heaven
wants you to bring everything
00:13:26.51\00:13:32.96
to God, every single thing.
00:13:32.99\00:13:35.21
Everything that you
think, everything you have done,
00:13:35.24\00:13:38.13
everything you have tried
to hide in your life bring
00:13:38.16\00:13:40.68
it to God, do not
let the devil play with
00:13:40.71\00:13:43.06
you with it anymore.
00:13:43.09\00:13:44.37
Don't let your own
head play with you anymore.
00:13:44.40\00:13:46.40
God says, I want to take
it from you, I want to forgive
00:13:46.43\00:13:50.93
you, and if you need it
back, sometimes we have so much
00:13:50.96\00:13:54.51
damage, sexual
damage and all that stuff.
00:13:54.54\00:13:57.02
God says I created you to be
a sexual beings and I want to
00:13:57.05\00:14:00.67
give you that back, but
let me clean it up and give it
00:14:00.70\00:14:03.05
back and you will
be amazed, it's cool!
00:14:03.08\00:14:05.68
You won't have all that
dark stuff with your addictions.
00:14:05.71\00:14:10.63
God says, I promise you
that whatever you give to Me,
00:14:10.66\00:14:13.65
I will forgive, and a
lot of times God says, I will
00:14:13.68\00:14:17.15
forgive you before it
even comes out of your mouth.
00:14:17.18\00:14:19.27
I am waiting for
you to bring it out.
00:14:19.30\00:14:21.01
I know what's there and I
know it's keeping you tied up.
00:14:21.04\00:14:23.71
I want to forgive you.
00:14:23.74\00:14:25.52
So we are going to
go ahead and break.
00:14:25.55\00:14:27.52
I want to introduce you
to Cliff and Freddie Harris.
00:14:27.55\00:14:30.30
They are amazing and Cliff
has been through some stuff.
00:14:30.33\00:14:34.75
Probably Freddie too,
because she married him.
00:14:34.78\00:14:37.39
So stay tuned
will be right back.
00:14:37.42\00:14:40.29
We want to introduce you
to a beautiful book called
00:14:44.87\00:14:47.59
'Steps to Christ', each
program in this series is
00:14:47.62\00:14:50.59
based on a different chapter
showing you how to become
00:14:50.62\00:14:53.17
a Christian and gain
victory over your addictions.
00:14:53.20\00:14:56.13
'Steps to Christ' is our
gift to you, free of charge.
00:14:56.16\00:14:59.40
Just call us at:
00:14:59.43\00:15:00.86
During regular
business hours, or write to:
00:15:04.27\00:15:06.14
A man that I have a privilege
of presenting to you today,
00:15:28.79\00:15:31.16
has a long history
of success in his field.
00:15:31.19\00:15:33.75
His accomplishments are many,
first of all he is an honor
00:15:33.78\00:15:37.17
graduate from
Colorado State Penitentiary.
00:15:37.20\00:15:39.64
Received his bachelor's
degree in burglary in 1977.
00:15:39.67\00:15:43.16
He returned in 1983 and
received a Master's Degree in
00:15:43.19\00:15:46.75
larceny and prior to
completing his higher education,
00:15:46.78\00:15:50.49
he enrolled in numerous
institutes, including the Denver
00:15:50.52\00:15:54.21
County Jail, Arapahoe
County Jail, Adams County Jail
00:15:54.24\00:15:58.38
Lake Alford Florida County
Jail, Long beach California
00:15:58.41\00:16:02.62
County Jail.
00:16:02.65\00:16:03.62
His Elementary School
includes a Dallas City Jail,
00:16:03.63\00:16:06.63
Overland Ohio
Jail, Denver County Jail,
00:16:06.66\00:16:10.59
and Aurora City Jail.
00:16:10.62\00:16:13.18
His professional experience
includes 10 years as a
00:16:13.21\00:16:15.93
heroine addict, 8 years
as a cocaine addict, with
00:16:15.96\00:16:18.92
20 years of
marijuana use in 5 years of
00:16:18.95\00:16:21.55
amphetamines and barbiturates.
00:16:21.58\00:16:23.76
He is direct experience
includes robbery, IV drug
00:16:23.79\00:16:27.59
addiction, burglary,
extortion, assault and battery,
00:16:27.62\00:16:30.84
larceny, contempt of court,
filthy language, trespassing,
00:16:30.87\00:16:34.67
and possession of narcotics, but
00:16:34.70\00:16:37.67
he comes to you today
as a new creature in Christ
00:16:37.70\00:16:40.18
with 21 years of
sobriety, a new wife and family,
00:16:40.21\00:16:43.36
owner of a home, President
of a drug alternative program,
00:16:43.39\00:16:46.21
and an author of a
book called 'Death Dance'.
00:16:46.24\00:16:48.75
It is my great pleasure to
introduce to Doctor, Ah, well
00:16:48.78\00:16:53.19
maybe Doctor of all that junk.
00:16:53.22\00:16:55.44
Cliff Harris, I just want
to say thank you for coming.
00:16:55.47\00:16:57.58
Thank you for joining us,
and Freddie Harris, I want to
00:16:57.61\00:17:00.39
ask you, is all that true?
00:17:00.42\00:17:03.49
It's all true, but I
met him after the fact.
00:17:03.52\00:17:06.64
Okay Cliff you have
to tell us what's up.
00:17:06.67\00:17:09.77
How did all that start?
00:17:09.80\00:17:11.59
How did you get into
sobriety with all that?
00:17:11.62\00:17:13.78
Well, I guess some of you
are wondering where I became
00:17:13.81\00:17:20.70
a Christian, came into
the church and was born and
00:17:20.73\00:17:24.08
raised, I'm a third generation
of Seventh-day Adventist.
00:17:24.11\00:17:28.07
Cheri: no way!
00:17:28.10\00:17:29.36
You know my father always
took us to prayer meeting,
00:17:29.39\00:17:33.97
and he always took
us to Sabbath school.
00:17:34.00\00:17:37.15
I even attended
Pine Forge Academy.
00:17:37.18\00:17:40.57
I have had cousins who
are Presidents of Conferences.
00:17:40.60\00:17:44.85
I have a cousin who was
a President of the Union.
00:17:44.88\00:17:47.37
But all that means nothing
unless we have a personal
00:17:47.40\00:17:53.66
relationship with
Jesus Christ. Cheri: Amen!
00:17:53.69\00:17:57.13
The bottom line, one thing
I want you to get out of this
00:17:57.16\00:18:01.50
story is how much
Jesus really loves us.
00:18:01.53\00:18:07.68
When we are not
even thinking of a Jesus.
00:18:07.71\00:18:11.40
It's like Jesus who?
00:18:11.43\00:18:13.47
As a teenager I wouldn't
let you smoke in my car.
00:18:15.74\00:18:20.57
I wouldn't let you drink
in my car, but I ran with the
00:18:20.60\00:18:26.10
wrong group of guys, I
wanted to be one of the fella's.
00:18:26.13\00:18:30.20
Didn't want to be left
out, I can remember those guys
00:18:30.23\00:18:34.78
when they introduce that
marijuana to me I got mad.
00:18:34.81\00:18:37.49
I got upset, what are you
guys doing smoking that dope?
00:18:37.52\00:18:40.50
But I wanted to be part
of, so I sucked on the weed.
00:18:40.53\00:18:47.34
Marijuana is okay, have
you ever heard of anyone dying
00:18:47.37\00:18:51.38
or OD ing from
smoking too much weed?
00:18:51.41\00:18:54.46
No, marijuana is cool,
marijuana makes you laugh at
00:18:54.49\00:18:59.20
everything, makes you eat
up everything in the house.
00:18:59.23\00:19:03.18
Marijuana is okay, but pretty
soon marijuana is not good
00:19:03.21\00:19:08.79
enough, me stick
a needle in my arm?
00:19:08.82\00:19:14.00
I came from a Christian
family, a Seventh-day Adventist
00:19:14.03\00:19:18.18
family but I've got 2
marks on this arm and I've got 2
00:19:18.21\00:19:23.16
marks on this arm.
00:19:23.19\00:19:25.04
And it will be
there the rest of my life.
00:19:25.07\00:19:28.76
When you start doing heroine,
this is how you look when
00:19:28.79\00:19:33.78
you do heroin, in
the chair motionless,
00:19:33.81\00:19:40.55
don't want to move, just
enough to bring the cigarette
00:19:40.58\00:19:45.02
up to your mouth,
that is your high.
00:19:45.05\00:19:48.19
But pretty soon, has
anybody ever been to jail?
00:19:48.22\00:19:51.08
Cheri raises her hand, Okay.
00:19:51.11\00:19:53.75
Let's take a room maybe
half this size packed with men,
00:19:53.78\00:19:59.82
packed, no windows, no
benches and there would be one
00:19:59.85\00:20:03.83
toilet in that corner.
00:20:03.86\00:20:06.14
How would you like to
go to the bathroom with an
00:20:06.17\00:20:08.21
audience of this size?
00:20:08.24\00:20:10.04
You will brother if you
mess around, and pretty soon
00:20:10.07\00:20:14.20
a man will holler on
the loudspeaker, strip!
00:20:14.23\00:20:17.38
That means take off all
your clothes, socks included
00:20:17.41\00:20:21.49
if you have any on,
and you will wait another
00:20:21.52\00:20:24.04
4 or 5 hours
before he processes you.
00:20:24.07\00:20:27.05
Changes because I want
to feel good, because I want
00:20:27.08\00:20:33.01
to be one of the fella's.
00:20:33.04\00:20:34.60
I wanna to tell you just
one little story of my son.
00:20:35.98\00:20:42.59
Every time I tell this it
hurts because you have to go
00:20:42.62\00:20:46.93
back, it is not that
you just sit here and tell
00:20:46.96\00:20:50.87
a story, you have to relive it.
00:20:50.90\00:20:53.65
My son was just 12
years old, he was just 12.
00:20:56.65\00:21:03.02
I was downstairs in the
basement and I had a syringe
00:21:03.06\00:21:10.02
in my arm and he came
running down the steps and he
00:21:10.05\00:21:18.89
stopped at the second
step that made him eye-level
00:21:18.92\00:21:22.14
with me and he pointed
his finger at me and said,
00:21:22.17\00:21:26.96
daddy that's what you
went to jail for last week.
00:21:26.99\00:21:31.29
And I know it's nothing
but the Holy Spirit speaking
00:21:34.03\00:21:36.91
through him saying,
Clifford get it together.
00:21:36.94\00:21:39.83
I'm not ready yet Jesus, I
have to get high one more time.
00:21:39.86\00:21:47.38
Do you know what it's like
to live with a drug addict?
00:21:52.65\00:21:55.77
Your wife comes home
from work and she goes in her
00:21:55.80\00:22:00.35
bedroom and shuts the door.
00:22:00.38\00:22:02.40
Your kids come home from
school and they go in their
00:22:02.43\00:22:05.15
bedroom and shut the door.
00:22:05.18\00:22:07.18
And you are sitting in
the chair out, looking crazy,
00:22:07.21\00:22:11.53
because I want to feel good.
00:22:11.56\00:22:14.99
Because I want to
be one of the fella's.
00:22:15.02\00:22:18.97
You know I sold
my daughters bicycle.
00:22:24.07\00:22:27.42
She comes home from
school and her bicycle is gone,
00:22:29.58\00:22:32.35
but that's okay,
your daddy, daddy.
00:22:32.38\00:22:37.17
When you do drugs brother,
you're dead, you're dead.
00:22:40.26\00:22:46.31
Drug's become the
number one factor in your life.
00:22:46.34\00:22:52.53
You don't care about your
mama, you don't care about
00:22:52.56\00:22:56.62
your children, you
don't care about your wife,
00:22:56.65\00:22:58.92
you don't care about yourself.
00:22:58.95\00:23:00.74
Nothing else matters.
00:23:02.77\00:23:05.20
To tell you how bad you
get, I wouldn't tell this
00:23:10.40\00:23:14.19
for a long time, you know
I even tried to sell the dog.
00:23:14.22\00:23:21.23
When nobody would buy him
I threw him out of the car.
00:23:24.21\00:23:26.92
You see these two
fingers, nothing but Jesus.
00:23:35.65\00:23:40.90
A guy shot me because I
beat him out of his drugs.
00:23:40.93\00:23:46.61
When he knew I beat him
out of his drugs, he came in
00:23:46.64\00:23:50.38
and went out to the car and
got his pistol and came back
00:23:50.41\00:23:54.52
in and put his
hand down like that.
00:23:54.55\00:23:58.00
He just brought his hand
down a little further he would
00:23:58.03\00:24:01.68
have gotten me in the
side, but Jesus, when we are not
00:24:01.71\00:24:07.03
even thinking about a Jesus.
00:24:07.06\00:24:09.98
I love you Clifford, I love you.
00:24:10.01\00:24:15.37
But you know what, I'm
going to jump ahead a little
00:24:19.94\00:24:29.18
because there is a lot in
this story, it's the things
00:24:29.21\00:24:34.97
you do to your children.
00:24:35.00\00:24:36.24
I remember one
time I was out on bond.
00:24:40.00\00:24:49.51
My mother, she had
cancer and she was dying.
00:24:49.54\00:24:55.53
My mother lived in
Florida and I was in Colorado.
00:24:59.69\00:25:05.25
My ex-wife let me, I
wanted to go see my mama,
00:25:08.01\00:25:12.03
I knew it was going back
prison, I knew there was no way
00:25:12.06\00:25:17.76
you going to get
probation, you have to go.
00:25:17.79\00:25:20.37
You're going, well I
thought about it like this.
00:25:20.40\00:25:26.89
I got to go see my mama
because what if my mama dies
00:25:26.92\00:25:31.57
when I am in prison, I
could never live that down.
00:25:31.60\00:25:36.51
All these things
go through your mind.
00:25:36.54\00:25:38.56
I come from a
good mama, a good mama.
00:25:38.59\00:25:42.47
Well my ex-wife let
the kids go with me.
00:25:42.50\00:25:49.65
I think I have maybe $20
to drive all the way from
00:25:49.68\00:25:53.76
Colorado to
Florida to see my mother.
00:25:53.79\00:25:57.53
I drove there on a stolen
credit card, got to Florida.
00:25:59.74\00:26:06.05
Went to jail
there to see my mother.
00:26:09.21\00:26:14.28
You know what
my mama said to me?
00:26:16.19\00:26:17.81
I'll never forget
these words, never.
00:26:17.84\00:26:21.97
My mama, this is what
my mama is telling me.
00:26:22.00\00:26:26.48
She is on her
deathbed and do you know what
00:26:26.51\00:26:28.78
she said to me?
00:26:28.81\00:26:30.21
She wasn't angry, Clifford
I wish you had never come
00:26:30.24\00:26:36.20
to see me because I knew
you were still on that stuff.
00:26:36.23\00:26:41.31
This is what my
mama is saying to me.
00:26:41.34\00:26:45.54
Your mother is telling
you I don't want to see you.
00:26:45.57\00:26:48.91
Well, do you know I
lived a double life?
00:26:52.85\00:26:57.08
I had a family, three
children and I bought my home
00:26:59.89\00:27:04.51
when I was 21, my wife
couldn't even sign because
00:27:04.54\00:27:09.18
she wasn't old enough.
00:27:09.21\00:27:10.58
You see I didn't start
doing drugs until I was married
00:27:10.61\00:27:13.18
and had three children,
didn't do nothing like that.
00:27:13.21\00:27:19.08
Because I wanted to do
what my father did, my father
00:27:20.84\00:27:23.88
took care of the
family, that was it.
00:27:23.91\00:27:28.19
I wanted to do it my
father did, but got off track.
00:27:28.22\00:27:33.72
Satan grabs a hold, and
you let him grab a hold.
00:27:33.75\00:27:38.29
Well I decided that I would
00:27:38.33\00:27:47.61
change my life and start
00:27:47.64\00:27:56.85
looking at myself,
look where you are.
00:27:56.88\00:27:59.81
The second time a
friend of mine, I want you to
00:27:59.85\00:28:06.03
understand this because
I'm going to jump way ahead,
00:28:06.06\00:28:08.84
we don't have a lot of
time and there's a whole lot of
00:28:08.87\00:28:11.08
stuff in between there.
00:28:11.11\00:28:12.83
You see are thing about
our lives is about decisions.
00:28:12.86\00:28:20.87
See we as Christians,
everybody, not just Christians.
00:28:20.90\00:28:26.53
We as human beings only
have two choices in life.
00:28:26.56\00:28:30.16
Two choices, that is you
are either on Satan's side
00:28:30.19\00:28:33.17
or on Christ's, that's
all you got, that's it.
00:28:33.20\00:28:37.62
All human beings only
have two choices in life.
00:28:37.65\00:28:42.01
Now which choice
are you going to make?
00:28:42.04\00:28:44.38
What is it, it's decision
time, do you understand?
00:28:44.41\00:28:49.12
A friend of mine named
Jerome, Jerome comes to me
00:28:49.15\00:28:56.42
and says hey Harris we
can pull this burglary.
00:28:56.45\00:29:00.70
I'm like no man, I don't
want to do that because if
00:29:00.73\00:29:06.98
we get caught I'm going
back to the penitentiary.
00:29:07.01\00:29:11.15
No man, we ain't going
to caught, we've got this in
00:29:11.18\00:29:14.92
the bag, no problem.
00:29:14.95\00:29:17.65
So I have to make a
decision now, he is telling me
00:29:17.68\00:29:21.11
you know your wife is
looking at you crazy and you
00:29:21.14\00:29:24.50
need to take care of some bills.
00:29:24.53\00:29:26.52
Cheri, I'm over here
saying tell him no, no.
00:29:26.55\00:29:28.67
And I'm like no man because
if we get caught I'm going
00:29:28.70\00:29:35.03
back to the
penitentiary and they don't
00:29:35.06\00:29:37.60
give you probation, no.
00:29:37.63\00:29:39.92
That being no problem, it
took me three days to make
00:29:39.95\00:29:46.33
a decision, you think I'm
thinking about some bills to
00:29:46.36\00:29:49.06
pay, I'm thinking about
all the cocaine I could have.
00:29:49.09\00:29:52.23
Let me tell you, we did it
and I made the wrong decision
00:29:53.73\00:29:59.14
in my life, the wrong decision.
00:29:59.17\00:30:02.79
Let me tell you we did it
and the police came down on us
00:30:02.82\00:30:09.17
like you see on TV.
00:30:09.20\00:30:11.42
I will never, never forget it.
00:30:11.45\00:30:16.14
He had me lying down in
a mud puddle, Colorado mud.
00:30:16.17\00:30:23.13
He had his foot on
the back of my neck.
00:30:23.16\00:30:26.19
He had a shotgun at my head
and every time I try to rise
00:30:26.22\00:30:29.52
up to breathe he'd
shoved me back down.
00:30:29.55\00:30:32.94
Changes, because I want
to feel good because I wanted
00:30:34.98\00:30:39.84
to be one of the fella's.
00:30:39.87\00:30:42.94
I said to myself, well
here you go again Harris.
00:30:42.97\00:30:47.79
Here you go again and it
happened exactly like I said.
00:30:47.82\00:30:54.74
I went back to the penitentiary
and they gave Jerome
00:30:54.77\00:30:58.82
probation, and I don't
want you to forget that name.
00:30:58.85\00:31:02.36
I said to myself, look at
you Harris, here I was 20 years
00:31:04.95\00:31:12.09
do you hear me, 20 years
of my life wasted for what?
00:31:12.12\00:31:21.71
Year's that I could never
get them back, they are gone.
00:31:24.06\00:31:27.86
But I can't worry about
that right now because I have
00:31:27.89\00:31:31.51
Jesus in my life now and I
have to move on with Jesus.
00:31:31.54\00:31:36.75
You know what I did? I
went into the penitentiary,
00:31:39.08\00:31:44.17
and you know the
penitentiary is nothing like
00:31:44.20\00:31:49.58
no city or county jail.
00:31:49.61\00:31:52.49
When you going to the
penitentiary they give you a
00:31:53.26\00:31:54.62
number up here, you know I
refused to remember my number.
00:31:54.65\00:32:01.36
Had it right here on the
clothes, I don't know it.
00:32:01.39\00:32:04.74
When you go back a second time,
00:32:04.77\00:32:07.05
they give you the same
number again, same number.
00:32:07.08\00:32:10.76
Cheri: so what they are
saying now is you are a nobody.
00:32:14.82\00:32:17.56
You know when I went in, I
got to say this, you see it's
00:32:20.54\00:32:29.12
like this, when I
went in I had nothing.
00:32:30.94\00:32:36.25
I had one pair of
underwear, they were mine,
00:32:36.28\00:32:42.13
that was mine,
it belonged to me.
00:32:42.16\00:32:45.04
They were holey
but they were mine.
00:32:45.07\00:32:47.10
Do you hear me,
that was all I had.
00:32:47.13\00:32:50.42
Cheri: I hear you but
that's more information than
00:32:50.45\00:32:53.18
I wanted I think.
00:32:53.21\00:32:54.83
They were holey
but they were mine.
00:32:54.86\00:32:57.94
Well I got to thinking,
while I'm in the penitentiary
00:32:57.97\00:33:02.90
now, I'm in the there and
my family, everybody in my
00:33:02.93\00:33:08.59
family are Adventist, everybody.
00:33:08.62\00:33:12.50
Nobody, everybody, I
didn't want my family to
00:33:12.53\00:33:19.75
know, but they knew.
00:33:19.78\00:33:21.46
Well I called my
sister, stole from her.
00:33:21.49\00:33:25.76
I called my sister, now they
are getting ready to release
00:33:27.70\00:33:30.64
me, and I called my sister
because once they release you
00:33:30.67\00:33:37.13
they want to know where
you're going to stay, who you're
00:33:37.16\00:33:39.72
going to stay with, how
many times you're going to the
00:33:39.75\00:33:42.17
bathroom, they want to
know everything about you.
00:33:42.20\00:33:46.58
Cheri: it's very
true. Clifford: it's true.
00:33:46.61\00:33:48.78
They want to know,
well I called my sister.
00:33:48.81\00:33:52.79
My niece answered the phone
and the first thing, she went
00:33:52.82\00:33:57.21
and got her mother, and the
first thing my sister said to
00:33:57.24\00:33:59.97
me, she picked up that
phone and she said I love you,
00:34:00.00\00:34:05.35
I love you.
00:34:05.38\00:34:09.55
Well while I was in the
penitentiary I went to the
00:34:09.58\00:34:18.51
prison library, the only reason
I went to the prison library,
00:34:18.54\00:34:23.83
there was a woman in there
and I want to see the woman.
00:34:23.86\00:34:29.49
She was ugly
but she was a woman.
00:34:29.52\00:34:33.46
Wanted to see a woman.
00:34:35.08\00:34:37.17
Cheri: I love you,
did I tell you I love you?
00:34:37.20\00:34:40.93
Well when I went in there
I found this book in there
00:34:42.49\00:34:46.40
called the 'Desire of Ages'.
00:34:46.43\00:34:48.39
Well I knew what the book
was, I knew was a book on the
00:34:48.42\00:34:52.54
life of Jesus Christ.
00:34:52.57\00:34:54.10
I check the book out and
brought it back to my cell and
00:34:54.13\00:34:58.62
put it on my table.
00:34:58.65\00:34:59.64
Never opened the book.
00:34:59.67\00:35:01.85
When it was time to take
it back, I took it back and
00:35:01.88\00:35:05.58
check it right back out
and brought back to my cell,
00:35:05.61\00:35:08.19
put it on the table
and never opened the book.
00:35:08.22\00:35:11.15
It's Holy Spirit working,
not that He wasn't working
00:35:11.18\00:35:15.92
before, but I'm hearing now.
00:35:15.95\00:35:17.56
Cheri: open the book.
00:35:17.59\00:35:19.24
You know I ain't
opening the book.
00:35:19.27\00:35:21.04
So I got to thinking, I
wonder who is the Pastor at the
00:35:24.57\00:35:29.67
church right now, I wonder
what is happening at prayer
00:35:29.70\00:35:37.01
meeting right now?
00:35:37.04\00:35:38.86
Wishing I was at prayer
meeting, because if I was at
00:35:38.89\00:35:41.45
prayer meeting I could go
home after prayer meeting.
00:35:41.48\00:35:44.92
Do you
understand what I'm saying?
00:35:44.95\00:35:47.44
Well when it came time to
be released, I made a decision
00:35:51.92\00:35:56.83
while I was
there, while I was there.
00:35:57.74\00:35:59.77
You know what, when I get
out of here I'm going to go
00:35:59.80\00:36:02.00
to church, I'm
going to go to church.
00:36:02.03\00:36:04.87
They released me
early one Sunday morning.
00:36:09.37\00:36:12.67
Jerome came and picked me up,
00:36:15.11\00:36:16.86
you remember Jerome don't you?
00:36:16.89\00:36:18.23
Cheri: he got
probation. Cliff: yeah!
00:36:18.26\00:36:20.54
Cheri: and it was
his idea. Cliff: yeah!
00:36:20.58\00:36:22.55
Cheri: I hate that.
00:36:22.58\00:36:24.47
I went to my sisters and I
got a whole week, now I made
00:36:27.03\00:36:30.20
a decision now is
going to go church right?
00:36:30.24\00:36:31.99
Talk back to me
ye all, am I right?
00:36:32.02\00:36:34.67
Yeah, I made a decision,
I'm going to go back to church.
00:36:34.71\00:36:38.11
While I have a whole week
to go before it's time to go
00:36:38.15\00:36:44.17
to church, the first Sabbath
morning my sister comes to
00:36:44.21\00:36:49.33
me, and she says, Clifford
are you going to Sabbath school
00:36:49.36\00:36:54.45
this morning? No,
not going to Parkhill.
00:36:54.49\00:36:58.73
Not going over there because
those people are going to be
00:36:58.77\00:37:01.78
asking me where I have
been and what I have been doing.
00:37:01.81\00:37:04.79
I do want to hear that.
00:37:04.82\00:37:06.45
She didn't give me no
lecture, she didn't say nothing.
00:37:06.49\00:37:12.34
Her and her husband
just went on out the door
00:37:12.37\00:37:15.60
and went on to Sabbath school.
00:37:15.63\00:37:17.94
Now I don't care what you
think, I don't care what you
00:37:17.98\00:37:22.53
think, I don't care what
you think and I don't care what
00:37:22.56\00:37:27.07
you think, I know
He didn't send Gabriel.
00:37:27.11\00:37:32.87
I know Jesus came to me, it
wasn't that I had to see Him,
00:37:32.91\00:37:40.78
or I heard His
voice, it was from within.
00:37:40.82\00:37:45.13
It was from within, in
Jesus said to me, hey boy,
00:37:47.47\00:37:53.08
you know I have watched
over you, I have been there for
00:37:55.52\00:37:59.98
you, I have protected
you, now it's decision time.
00:38:00.01\00:38:05.10
Now if you don't
take it, you know that
00:38:05.14\00:38:09.37
you are going to die.
00:38:09.41\00:38:11.32
You know I was ready in five
minutes to get Sabbath school,
00:38:11.35\00:38:14.63
and I have been going to
Sabbath school ever since.
00:38:14.66\00:38:16.85
And I want to say to you
out there, when the Holy Spirit
00:38:19.72\00:38:23.74
speaks to you brother or
sister, you better take heed.
00:38:23.78\00:38:29.05
You see I know, I know that
if I had not gone to Sabbath
00:38:29.09\00:38:34.33
school that Sabbath
morning, I would be dead today.
00:38:34.36\00:38:38.35
I would be dead today,
you see because I was the kind
00:38:38.38\00:38:42.33
of drug addict like this.
00:38:42.37\00:38:44.04
If you're spending $50,
I'm spending a hundred and
00:38:44.07\00:38:47.68
I am not giving
you any of my drugs.
00:38:47.72\00:38:49.85
You see drugs to me was
a job, everyday, every day
00:38:49.89\00:38:56.93
just like you go
to work everyday.
00:38:56.96\00:38:58.28
Just like you go to
your job to the conference
00:38:58.32\00:39:00.35
office everyday, right?
00:39:00.39\00:39:02.04
Am I right? Guests: yes
00:39:02.08\00:39:03.66
and you sit down there
and do those numbers and
00:39:03.70\00:39:06.28
whatever you do,
that is everyday right?
00:39:06.31\00:39:08.98
You have to be there
are certain time, right?
00:39:09.02\00:39:10.56
Well every day
I'm stealing everyday.
00:39:10.60\00:39:14.61
Do you know I have been
arrested in just the Denver area
00:39:14.64\00:39:20.13
over 40 times, that doesn't
include all them other places.
00:39:20.16\00:39:25.62
But I'm going to tell
you something, Jesus is good.
00:39:27.84\00:39:34.30
Do you hear me? Jesus is good.
00:39:34.33\00:39:38.70
There is a lot in the
story that I have left out.
00:39:38.73\00:39:40.90
Cheri: do you know what I
want to ask you a couple of
00:39:40.94\00:39:43.07
things, and if anybody
else has any questions.
00:39:43.11\00:39:45.56
I want to ask you did you
get the sense when God finally
00:39:45.59\00:39:49.17
said, you know what Cliff
this is decision-making time.
00:39:49.20\00:39:52.80
When Jesus said you have to
decide and you got up and got
00:39:52.83\00:39:55.94
dressed, did you get the
sense of how much He loved you?
00:39:55.98\00:39:59.05
Even through all that junk?
00:39:59.09\00:40:00.72
It wasn't so much Jesus and
I wanted to pray and study the
00:40:02.61\00:40:10.32
word, my whole thinking
was go to church, just sit down
00:40:10.35\00:40:18.02
on the pews, sit down.
00:40:18.06\00:40:20.46
I didn't want to be there,
but people all knew me from
00:40:20.49\00:40:24.25
the teenage days, they
didn't want me they are either.
00:40:24.28\00:40:29.31
I'm serious, this one
lady she knew me in the first
00:40:29.34\00:40:34.33
Sabbath I'm there she
comes up to me and says,
00:40:34.36\00:40:36.68
what you doing here?
00:40:36.72\00:40:39.04
I looked at her and said
I'm doing the same thing you're
00:40:39.07\00:40:42.27
doing here, you see
she wanted to judge me.
00:40:42.30\00:40:47.00
But Jesus says, you do
the loving and leave the
00:40:47.04\00:40:51.70
judging up to me.
00:40:51.74\00:40:53.07
It doesn't matter
if I go there 17 times,
00:40:53.11\00:40:56.89
you except me every time I come.
00:40:56.92\00:40:59.23
Jesus will handle
the judging of me.
00:40:59.26\00:41:01.74
Do you understand
what I'm saying today?
00:41:01.77\00:41:03.73
Cheri: I understand
that more than anything.
00:41:03.76\00:41:05.64
So that was my concept,
every time the church door was
00:41:05.68\00:41:08.75
opened, prayer meeting, Sunday
morning meeting any kind of
00:41:08.79\00:41:11.82
meeting I'm
sitting down, I'm in here.
00:41:11.86\00:41:15.07
Boom, just be here.
00:41:15.10\00:41:17.57
So does anybody
have any questions?
00:41:17.60\00:41:19.42
Before the question I
want you to see how we met.
00:41:19.46\00:41:22.99
He came to church, he saw
me on Sabbath, that Sabbath.
00:41:23.02\00:41:28.57
He proposed to me on Sunday.
00:41:28.60\00:41:30.95
Cheri: shut up there is no way.
00:41:30.99\00:41:33.26
I said yes and three
months later we were married
00:41:33.30\00:41:37.09
so with all this rebellion,
coming out of jail, and all
00:41:37.12\00:41:41.48
that stuff, you meet him,
and what made you think that
00:41:41.51\00:41:45.83
he was ready for marriage?
00:41:45.87\00:41:47.40
Because I had spent a year
with the Lord, without dating,
00:41:47.44\00:41:49.92
and I just said Lord, if
you want me to have a husband
00:41:49.96\00:41:52.96
I'll have one, and when I
saw Cliff, He said he's the one.
00:41:53.00\00:41:55.96
And my son
introduced us in the lobby of
00:41:56.00\00:41:59.97
the Denver Parker church.
00:42:00.00\00:42:01.41
One thing, when I got
out, I knew not to get involved
00:42:01.44\00:42:08.64
with a female,
don't even go there.
00:42:08.68\00:42:11.29
I remember her girlfriend,
but I never saw her at church.
00:42:11.33\00:42:15.30
Her girlfriend try to talk
to me and I was, no, because
00:42:15.33\00:42:19.50
I have to go this direction,
this is what I got to do.
00:42:19.54\00:42:23.43
And if I get involved with
a female that would take me
00:42:23.46\00:42:27.31
off track.
Cheri: even an ugly one.
00:42:27.35\00:42:29.05
Even an ugly one.
00:42:29.08\00:42:30.50
Freddie: but I did know
him, he's saw me in the Lord
00:42:30.54\00:42:33.12
impressed him the same
thing, that I was the one.
00:42:33.16\00:42:36.39
The Holy Spirit told
each one that that's the one.
00:42:36.42\00:42:39.24
That's why, I've been in
Adventist all my life and
00:42:39.27\00:42:42.02
never drank, smoked, I would
ever and out the front door.
00:42:42.05\00:42:44.80
But I just had peace and
knew that this was the guy.
00:42:44.84\00:42:47.82
Because all of a sudden I think
that he comes into the church
00:42:47.85\00:42:50.55
and you are so beautiful
and had this incredible
00:42:50.59\00:42:52.90
background and God just
said, you know what you guys are
00:42:52.94\00:42:56.07
together and that's how I
think He blesses us with that.
00:42:56.10\00:42:59.19
Fa'asoa, did
you have a question?
00:42:59.23\00:43:00.74
Yeah, I'm sitting here
listening to Cliff and I am
00:43:00.77\00:43:04.87
thinking, Cliff I am that
12-year-old boy looking you in
00:43:04.90\00:43:10.55
the eye and probably in
tears saying, daddy this is what
00:43:10.59\00:43:16.20
got you in jail.
00:43:16.23\00:43:18.48
Because your dad
was dealing drugs.
00:43:18.51\00:43:20.67
You remind me so much of my dad.
00:43:20.70\00:43:22.79
And you know I was sitting
here thinking, I want to throw
00:43:22.82\00:43:26.83
this glass at you, I really
do, but I'm not going to do
00:43:26.87\00:43:31.63
that because at two years
of age I seen, when you asked,
00:43:31.66\00:43:36.39
when you asked about
living with the drug addict.
00:43:36.42\00:43:39.51
I know firsthand what
it's like to live with the drug
00:43:39.54\00:43:43.55
addict, and then I was thinking,
Jesus has saved me from
00:43:43.59\00:43:47.56
my junk and Jesus is
still working on my dad.
00:43:47.60\00:43:53.69
I shouldn't give up on my
dad because Jesus doesn't give
00:43:56.12\00:43:59.33
up on us that
easily, that quickly.
00:43:59.36\00:44:01.81
Cliff: Jesus doesn't give
up on us, we give up on Jesus.
00:44:01.85\00:44:08.02
We push the Holy Spirit
away, we have to choose,
00:44:08.06\00:44:13.69
He always has His
hand out there for us.
00:44:13.73\00:44:17.75
All we have to do is
grab it, it's simple.
00:44:17.79\00:44:21.75
We pray that your father
will grab His hand one day.
00:44:21.78\00:44:24.80
Now one other thing I want
to say to you, and put this in
00:44:24.84\00:44:29.74
the right perspective, my
mother never saw the results of
00:44:29.78\00:44:34.67
her prayers, she never saw
me get clean, she never did.
00:44:34.70\00:44:39.55
But she never
stopped praying for me.
00:44:39.59\00:44:41.68
But my dad saw it, you
see, and you understand?
00:44:41.71\00:44:46.36
My daddy told me one time
when we were sitting at the
00:44:46.39\00:44:49.28
breakfast table, because I was
the one out of all my brothers
00:44:49.31\00:44:52.06
and sisters, I was the
one that took care of him.
00:44:52.10\00:44:56.30
And he said to me one
time, Clifford who would have
00:44:56.34\00:44:59.88
thought that you would be
the one to take care of me
00:44:59.92\00:45:03.43
after all the
trouble you gave me?
00:45:03.46\00:45:05.74
Getting you out of jail
and all that stuff and loads
00:45:05.77\00:45:09.17
of other stories, but
he said your momma would've
00:45:09.20\00:45:12.56
been proud of you.
00:45:12.59\00:45:13.97
- My question Cliff, is what has
become of your 12-year-old son?
00:45:14.01\00:45:19.66
I'm glad you asked that.
00:45:19.69\00:45:21.70
My children love me.
Freddie: they never did drugs.
00:45:21.74\00:45:30.60
I have the best
relationship with my children
00:45:32.45\00:45:35.35
and my grandchildren.
00:45:35.39\00:45:39.02
Let me tell you
something about us males,
00:45:39.06\00:45:42.38
about us addicts.
00:45:42.42\00:45:44.01
We deal with this a lot in
our program, because the men
00:45:44.04\00:45:48.79
they come in, this is one
problem they will not let go of.
00:45:48.83\00:45:53.54
Do you know what
that is? Their children.
00:45:53.57\00:45:57.13
Wife can go, momma can go,
anybody else can go, but their
00:45:57.17\00:46:02.71
children, there is
something important about their
00:46:02.74\00:46:07.69
children that they don't
want to lose them, it's part of
00:46:07.73\00:46:11.84
them so they're always
worried about their kids.
00:46:11.88\00:46:16.75
So that is something I
treasure the most because my
00:46:16.78\00:46:21.87
daughter told me once,
when she was married, that her
00:46:21.90\00:46:26.96
daughter was in the hospital.
00:46:26.99\00:46:30.17
And I was married to Freddie
then, and my daughter said
00:46:30.21\00:46:33.69
to me, we was in the
cafeteria of this hospital.
00:46:33.73\00:46:37.61
She said to me daddy I want
you to go on with your life.
00:46:37.65\00:46:42.86
I don't want to get too close
to you because I don't want
00:46:42.90\00:46:48.08
you to hurt me no more.
00:46:48.11\00:46:49.85
I didn't say nothing to
her, I didn't give no, well I'm
00:46:49.88\00:46:55.67
going to do this and
I'm going to do that.
00:46:55.71\00:46:58.36
None of that, I just lived
the life, didn't do nothing
00:46:58.39\00:47:04.80
extra, I'd gave her no
money and trying to convince her
00:47:04.83\00:47:10.14
no, all we have to do if
you want to let somebody know
00:47:10.18\00:47:14.91
something, that's what
witnessing is, live the life.
00:47:14.95\00:47:20.22
Because she saw the change
in me, now it is daddy when
00:47:20.25\00:47:24.09
are you coming to get the
kids, daddy when, you know.
00:47:24.12\00:47:27.92
Cheri: you can be trusted now.
00:47:27.96\00:47:29.11
You see now she can love me
and that security is in there.
00:47:29.15\00:47:34.82
And that's what we addicts
have to do, we have to get back
00:47:34.86\00:47:40.50
to having respect for yourself.
00:47:40.53\00:47:44.24
That is with God in
the center of your life.
00:47:44.28\00:47:49.12
I still have drug addict
behavior, look at me I'm kind of
00:47:49.15\00:47:53.11
fat, I've got it up
there because of food.
00:47:53.15\00:47:58.63
To have to say to myself,
Harris, because I weighed lot
00:47:58.66\00:48:03.92
more than now, I
said you know what?
00:48:03.96\00:48:06.62
If you can conquer or
the Lord can help you get off
00:48:08.66\00:48:13.46
those drugs can deal with food,
you have became a food addict.
00:48:13.50\00:48:17.83
Cheri: because an addiction is
an addiction, is an addiction.
00:48:17.87\00:48:19.73
But I want to say before we
have other questions come up
00:48:22.19\00:48:25.85
before we leave my parents
are addicts, Fa'asoa is that
00:48:25.89\00:48:29.75
every day I know and have
so much faith that God is going
00:48:29.79\00:48:32.90
to do something in the
family that I just keep them in
00:48:32.94\00:48:35.98
prayer, and is God walks me
into recovery I pray like crazy
00:48:36.02\00:48:40.87
over them, but it's
hard to forgive and pray,
00:48:40.90\00:48:44.86
and all that stuff.
00:48:44.89\00:48:46.04
If anybody out there has
people around them that are
00:48:46.08\00:48:49.30
using, just pray like crazy.
00:48:49.33\00:48:51.39
Mark you had a question?
00:48:51.42\00:48:52.93
Yes I would like to go back
to your statements about your
00:48:52.97\00:48:56.30
youth, you made a statement
that was very interesting.
00:48:56.33\00:49:00.24
You were surrounded by family
of Adventists, and yet none
00:49:00.28\00:49:03.69
of that did any good
without a personal relationship
00:49:03.72\00:49:07.10
with Jesus, now
my question is this.
00:49:07.13\00:49:08.93
I'm sure in our viewing
audience we have many parents
00:49:08.96\00:49:12.83
who are trying to raise
their children to be Christians.
00:49:12.87\00:49:16.84
They're conscientious,
they are praying, can you give
00:49:16.87\00:49:23.09
them any advice about how
to avoid the decisions that
00:49:23.13\00:49:28.08
you made, you said your
parents were very conscientious.
00:49:28.11\00:49:33.03
Was there anything they
could have done perhaps?
00:49:33.07\00:49:35.49
No, you see I get a lot of
calls all the time from parents
00:49:37.97\00:49:44.60
parents or, this is a tactic
that Satan gets on one of us.
00:49:44.64\00:49:50.06
If he can get one in the
family, he has got everybody.
00:49:50.10\00:49:55.58
He's got the whole family,
it's all in a combination of
00:49:55.62\00:50:00.98
things, because I had one
lady one time tell me, I asked
00:50:01.01\00:50:06.34
her, she was
telling me about her son.
00:50:06.37\00:50:08.27
She said she would give
up her crown for her son.
00:50:08.30\00:50:11.80
Mark: yeah like Moses.
00:50:11.83\00:50:13.18
You don't give up your crown
for your son, oh no, do you
00:50:13.22\00:50:17.54
see this girl right
here, I love her to death.
00:50:17.58\00:50:19.65
But salvation is
an individual matter.
00:50:19.69\00:50:25.85
And parents when their
child goes astray, they get to
00:50:25.89\00:50:33.18
thinking, well
what did I do wrong?
00:50:33.22\00:50:36.60
If I hadn't spanked them, maybe
I didn't say the right word,
00:50:36.64\00:50:42.16
I should've done this
or should of done that.
00:50:42.19\00:50:45.79
No, because you have done
all you could do, and now it is
00:50:45.82\00:50:50.93
up to the child, you've raised
them the best way you know
00:50:50.96\00:50:56.04
how, you tell me.
00:50:56.07\00:50:57.21
Not a one of us as parents,
you have a young child and
00:50:57.24\00:51:01.71
you're going to make
mistakes, we all make mistakes.
00:51:01.74\00:51:06.17
But still it is their choice.
00:51:06.21\00:51:10.45
I chose, nobody put a
pistol up to my head and made me
00:51:10.49\00:51:16.58
do drugs, it was my choice.
00:51:16.62\00:51:19.01
Cheri: but you know I think
a lot of times parents would
00:51:19.05\00:51:22.59
love the answer to that,
Mark, is just saying know if you
00:51:22.63\00:51:25.52
do these five things your
child is going to work out just
00:51:25.56\00:51:29.14
perfect, and I want that
answer too because I have a 17
00:51:29.17\00:51:33.63
year old but there is no
magic thing to do or not to.
00:51:33.67\00:51:37.50
It's just a matter of
each person having their own
00:51:37.54\00:51:41.33
testimony to walk out.
00:51:41.37\00:51:42.53
You can train to people
the same way and one will
00:51:42.56\00:51:46.52
go totally opposite, I
never understand that but you
00:51:46.56\00:51:50.48
can train them
exactly, but like you said it's
00:51:50.51\00:51:52.33
back to choices.
00:51:52.37\00:51:53.92
So Susan did
you have a question?
00:51:53.95\00:51:55.72
Yes I'd like to ask the
question, when was it that
00:51:55.76\00:51:58.37
you really knew you hit rock
bottom, that God was knocking
00:51:58.40\00:52:02.70
on your heart, letting
you know that this is enough?
00:52:02.73\00:52:08.24
I think it all began when
I first was arrested for the
00:52:08.28\00:52:12.85
second burglary for the
time I was going back to the
00:52:12.89\00:52:17.43
penitentiary
for the second time.
00:52:17.46\00:52:19.05
When I really looked at
it, and going through all this
00:52:19.09\00:52:25.77
stuff and going back
into the penitentiary for
00:52:25.81\00:52:29.21
the second time, for what.
00:52:29.25\00:52:31.95
And when I went into the
penitentiary for the second
00:52:31.98\00:52:34.71
time, guys were coming up to
me saying hey Harris we've got
00:52:34.74\00:52:38.14
some weed over
here, man let's get high.
00:52:38.17\00:52:40.50
I'm like no, no thank
you, that's the reason
00:52:40.53\00:52:42.82
why I am in here now.
00:52:42.85\00:52:44.39
You see it was all about I
know that I'm beginning to look
00:52:44.42\00:52:50.14
at 20 years of it, I knew
there was something better than
00:52:50.17\00:52:55.85
where I was, to be in
this situation I'm in.
00:52:55.88\00:53:00.14
It just wasn't good and I
knew something better could go
00:53:00.17\00:53:04.27
on the rest of my
life, better than beside
00:53:04.30\00:53:06.92
in and out of jail all
my life, not having any
00:53:06.96\00:53:11.21
money, I used have a beard
out to here, hair on my head,
00:53:11.24\00:53:14.94
and keep the same
clothes on, can you hear me?
00:53:14.97\00:53:18.90
Same clothes on me for
two to three weeks at a time.
00:53:18.93\00:53:22.80
Would not even change
them, would not take them off.
00:53:22.83\00:53:26.66
Underwear crusted.
00:53:26.69\00:53:28.98
Cheri: that is more
information than we need.
00:53:29.01\00:53:32.08
No you have to look at
this, seriously you have to look
00:53:32.11\00:53:37.41
at this as sin, sin is ugly,
I don't care what degree we
00:53:37.45\00:53:44.07
put it, it's ugly without
Christ, sin and life is ugly.
00:53:44.10\00:53:50.69
Cheri: a you know I
want to say time has gone by
00:53:50.73\00:53:53.49
us too fast in a wanted
to say thanks so much for
00:53:53.52\00:53:56.25
being on the show.
00:53:56.29\00:53:57.38
I know that all this
stuff that you dealt with God
00:53:57.41\00:54:01.08
has been faithful in
your life and in your family
00:54:01.11\00:54:04.74
and in your Ministry.
00:54:04.78\00:54:06.47
So I'm praying and we
have you back on so we can hear
00:54:06.51\00:54:08.31
all about the Ministry.
00:54:08.35\00:54:09.97
Clifford: oh sure I
would be glad so much.
00:54:10.01\00:54:11.75
We'll be right
back stay with us,
00:54:11.78\00:54:13.84
Celebrating Life In Recovery
00:54:13.88\00:54:16.26
Amazing stories of real
people in real situations
00:54:21.83\00:54:24.48
discussing issues
that really matter.
00:54:24.51\00:54:26.59
The complete first season
of Celebrating Life In Recovery
00:54:26.63\00:54:29.69
is now available on DVD and
can be ordered by calling 3ABN:
00:54:29.73\00:54:32.76
Or order online at:
00:54:33.74\00:54:34.71
Hosted by Cheri Peters,
this season follows principles
00:54:36.33\00:54:38.98
from the book 'Steps to Christ'.
00:54:39.02\00:54:40.79
See for yourself, how
God changed the lives of the
00:54:40.83\00:54:42.89
convicted, the accused,
and victims of terrible crimes.
00:54:42.93\00:54:46.09
You won't want to miss a moment
00:54:46.12\00:54:47.83
of these powerful interviews.
00:54:47.87\00:54:49.54
Welcome back, in 'Steps
To Christ' It says that your
00:54:56.49\00:54:59.37
mass your sin has deadened
moral perceptions the wrongdoer
00:54:59.40\00:55:03.48
does not even discern the
defects of his character or
00:55:03.51\00:55:06.74
realize the enormity of his
evil he has committed unless
00:55:06.78\00:55:09.67
he yields to the convincing
power of the Holy Spirit.
00:55:09.70\00:55:12.56
He remains in
partial blindness to his sin.
00:55:12.59\00:55:15.15
His confessions are not
sincere or earnest to every
00:55:15.19\00:55:19.50
acknowledgment of his guilt,
he adds an apology or an excuse
00:55:19.54\00:55:23.58
of his course declaring
that if they had not been for
00:55:23.62\00:55:26.06
certain circumstances it
would've happened, if I didn't
00:55:26.10\00:55:28.51
have my parents
weren't such a mess this
00:55:28.55\00:55:31.18
wouldn't have happened.
00:55:31.21\00:55:32.23
If I wasn't molested
this would've happened.
00:55:32.27\00:55:33.83
If I didn't do
drugs this would happen.
00:55:33.86\00:55:36.10
If I didn't have all
this stuff thrown at me,
00:55:36.14\00:55:38.79
it wouldn't have happen.
00:55:38.82\00:55:39.79
You know what, I felt the
same way, I used to say the same
00:55:39.80\00:55:42.37
thing and I read in the Bible
which was hysterical to me.
00:55:42.40\00:55:45.56
I read in the Bible in
Genesis where it says that Adam
00:55:45.59\00:55:48.72
and Eve starts out perfect.
00:55:48.75\00:55:50.99
God created them
perfect in this garden
00:55:51.03\00:55:52.62
and it's so amazing.
00:55:52.66\00:55:53.63
He walks up to this tree
and this snakes says, hey baby,
00:55:53.64\00:55:58.17
have an Apple and he
convinces her you're going to be
00:55:58.21\00:56:02.78
wiser, your can be
prettier, or whatever it is.
00:56:02.81\00:56:04.56
He seduced her and
she takes the Apple.
00:56:05.45\00:56:06.72
Then she says her husband oh
man, hey baby, have an Apple.
00:56:06.75\00:56:11.67
So all this stuff
happens and then God comes and
00:56:11.71\00:56:15.07
immediately Eve says, you know
what the snake made me do it.
00:56:15.11\00:56:18.27
He convinced me
of all this stuff.
00:56:18.30\00:56:20.30
And Adam says the woman that
You made for me, she made me
00:56:20.33\00:56:24.14
do it and it is like
everybody blames everybody.
00:56:24.17\00:56:27.01
Finally it's like, you
know what, God I think it's Your
00:56:27.04\00:56:30.92
fault and God says no, no, no.
00:56:30.95\00:56:33.00
You know what I want to
help you, I want to help you.
00:56:33.04\00:56:36.39
I want to transform
your life, I want to give you
00:56:36.42\00:56:39.70
forgiveness, all you have
to do is tell Me hey I'm sorry.
00:56:39.74\00:56:44.90
I'm a mess I need your help.
00:56:44.93\00:56:46.51
I'm in jail again, I hit
my wife again, I'm looking at
00:56:46.54\00:56:50.26
porn again, what ever it is.
00:56:50.30\00:56:52.00
I'm angry again, I'm
critical again or whatever.
00:56:52.04\00:56:54.39
God says you know
what, just tell me.
00:56:54.42\00:56:56.93
Okay, I did it, I need
help, you need to be free from
00:57:02.62\00:57:06.42
this junk in the Bible says:
00:57:06.46\00:57:07.99
it is so amazing for me to
think about a God who created
00:57:16.53\00:57:20.67
everything, a God that put
everything into existence and
00:57:20.71\00:57:24.81
says you know what
I want to heal you.
00:57:24.85\00:57:26.42
I theme text Isaiah 57: 18
it says I know all your stuff
00:57:26.46\00:57:30.36
I know all your junk and
I want to heal you anyway.
00:57:30.39\00:57:33.03
So you know what
I'll see you next time.
00:57:33.07\00:57:34.93
Next time we'll be
covering some topics on steps to
00:57:34.97\00:57:37.85
recovery, but until then
remember, always remember that
00:57:37.88\00:57:40.73
God is crazy
about you, and me too.
00:57:40.76\00:57:43.04
Come back again!
00:57:43.07\00:57:44.57