Participants: Cheri Peters (Host), C.A. Murray
Series Code: CLR
Program Code: CLR000001
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00:35 Hi, I'm C. A. Murray and with me is Cheri Peters.
00:38 And we are on the set of a brand-new and exciting program 00:41 called Celebrating Life in Recovery. 00:44 When I think about this show words come to mind like 00:49 edgy, cutting edge, bold, aggressive, relevant, no equal 00:53 in television, I don't think we're doing anything like 00:56 this and no other station is doing anything like this. 00:59 This is a brand-new show touching, Cheri, subjects that 01:01 sometimes we like to keep hidden under the rug. 01:04 Right, but I think as long as we hide them they are going 01:07 to eat us up, they're going to destroy us. 01:08 So when I first got a vision from God about doing this, 01:12 I was so excited because I travel all over the place and 01:16 meet hundreds of thousands of people in various places 01:19 in the world that are struggling with addictions. 01:22 They are addictions they do not say out loud, 01:24 so when I first thought of this I wonder if I could, 01:29 on 3ABN talk about sex addictions, drug addictions, 01:34 workaholism and religious addictions, and molestation 01:39 and all those things. 01:40 At first I was thinking probably people do not want to 01:43 hear that stuff, they don't want to look at it. 01:46 At the time I had just found out that my father had died. 01:50 My real father died in a crack house, strung out and he 01:54 was doing so horrible throughout his life and he dies 01:58 and he is unrecognizable. 01:59 When I find out I am so sad, grieving because I hadn't 02:03 seen him in like 18 years and I was grieving and having 02:07 a horrible time trying to figure out how I'm going to 02:10 deal with this and luckily John Lomacang had just lost 02:13 his father, so I worked with him on that. 02:16 I remember in worship one morning saying God I am so sad 02:20 and I don't know how to get over that. 02:22 I hear through the Holy Spirit God's say, you know what? 02:25 I feel that way over every sinner that dies outside my 02:28 relationship and when you die outside of relationship 02:31 because of these addictions, these things have so 02:34 kept us in bondage. 02:36 I'm thinking we have a God that says I, the theme text 02:40 for this series, is Isaiah 57:18 and it says, 02:43 that I know all your junk, I know all your stuff and 02:46 I want to heal you anyway. 02:48 We have a God that says I know all your stuff, I want to 02:50 heal you anyway, don't die in that. 02:52 Don't get lost in your addictions and so I want to ask 02:57 even the audience, if you're not used to hearing things 03:00 like sexual addictions, and molestation, and all that 03:04 kind of stuff, please, please give me permission to talk 03:07 about those things because there are people in and out of 03:10 the church that are dying. 03:11 I know that God wants to heal them. I know that! 03:14 That's great, a number of things come to my mind. 03:17 I had a younger brother, 36 years of age died in 03:20 Los Angeles, drug addiction, running from the family, 03:22 running from the Lord, running from me. 03:24 I don't know what happened during his last moments, 03:26 but if we could have gotten to him in time and got 03:28 some help and he didn't have to stay in the closet. 03:30 As you know I have pastored in New York City for 30 years. 03:32 In my book I wrote about people who had addictive 03:36 problems, they had problems. 03:38 - You had a crack addict that you wrote about. 03:40 - she was in bondage twice, one she was in bondage to 03:43 her addiction, but she was also in bondage to the fear 03:47 that if the religious folk in the church found out about 03:50 it should be ostracized, she wouldn't be loved, 03:52 she wouldn't be taken care of. 03:53 That is why I think this program is so vital, because one 03:58 it strips off the fa÷ade, I got stuff, you got stuff, 04:02 all God's children got stuff. 04:04 So we need to talk about that stuff so that we can free 04:07 ourselves from that stuff. 04:08 The answer to all that stuff is Jesus, but if you never 04:11 talk about that stuff, you never get to the answer. 04:14 - Exactly, and I think as soon as I realized, like I met 04:18 Christ in the drug house trying to kill myself. 04:20 I was homeless for 10 years and have a background 04:23 of heroin addiction. 04:24 So I meet Him trying to kill myself and the only sense 04:28 I get from God Himself, is that He absolutely adores me. 04:32 He delights in me, I'm thinking wait a minute. 04:34 I'm sitting there, I'm illiterate, I'm strung out, 04:37 I have teeth missing from getting beat one time, 04:39 my teeth were knocked out. 04:41 God just says, I adore you. 04:42 I think that to the church He is telling the church the 04:45 same thing, and in our addictions in the building. 04:47 I have to show you something, not show you but tell you 04:51 something I think is amazing. 04:52 There is a reality, there is a reality in, 04:58 let me find it. 05:00 There is a reality that I found out about that I thought 05:04 was incredible, because I always work with dysfunction. 05:07 I work with sex addicts, drug addicts, alcoholics and 05:11 religious addictions, perfectionism and all kinds of 05:16 junk, just junk. 05:17 But I find out that in the United States alone, we are 05:20 not talking worldwide, but in the United States alone 05:22 5 billion tranquilizers are taken every year. 05:28 5 billion barbiturates 05:30 3 billion amphetamines 05:32 16,000 tons of aspirin 05:34 we are not real happy. - no, no we are trying to 05:38 medicate ourselves through life. 05:39 - we are medicating ourselves and I think, you know what? 05:42 If that is true, even in a normal population, or quote 05:45 normal population, we are trying to medicate ourselves 05:48 then something is not okay. 05:50 I want to talk to those people too, I want to talk to 05:53 people that are dying with prescription drugs. 05:56 That are dying in the church building itself. 05:59 It is not just the addict it is strung out on the street. 06:01 It is not just the person that has made it all the way to 06:04 jail, because I coming from heroin addiction, 06:08 homelessness, I come out and find a God that gives me 06:11 a life that is absolutely incredible. 06:14 I wouldn't trade my life for anybody and that is what 06:17 I think God wants to do for each one of us. 06:19 To have so delight in our own skin that I don't want 06:22 to trade that off for anybody. 06:24 - in New York City there are some 475,000 drug users, 06:31 half a million. 06:32 - but we are not talking about normal drug users, 06:37 physicians, doctors? 06:39 - no these are the ones, we are not talking about the 06:41 hidden ones and some of those folks go to church every 06:44 week, they are in church. 06:46 275,000 homeless individuals, so what we are figuring, 06:50 what we are seeing Cheri, what is outside of the church 06:54 is inside of the church. 06:56 Because when we come to the Lord we bring that stuff with 06:58 us and then we have to begin the healing process. 07:00 That is why this program is so vital, so important 07:04 because it talks about those things, I don't know. 07:06 There are some folks out there now that are getting 07:09 a little squeamish, I don't know if I want to hear that. 07:11 We you know, there is somebody there who needs to hear 07:13 that, and maybe you need to hear that because somebody 07:15 who needs to hear that will only hear you. 07:17 So when you hear it, you can transport that to somebody else. 07:20 So this program, it is vital, it's new, it is edgy, 07:22 it is going to talk about some things that are going to 07:24 make people cry a little bit. 07:26 It's going to make people feel a little uncomfortable. 07:28 But maybe it is time for that Cheri, because God is 07:31 coming soon and these things have to be dealt 07:33 with before Jesus comes. 07:34 - we are in the great controversy. 07:36 We are just in the tail end of that and I think the world 07:39 it's not going to get better, it's actually going to get 07:41 worse so when people come in the building they have 07:44 struggles that are unbelievable. 07:46 When they come in and look at us, we are afraid to let 07:49 them talk because we don't know what to do. 07:51 It scares them, please tell me you can give me an answer. 07:54 That's why I think that even if you don't have the same 07:57 issues that we are talking about, listen up because 08:00 there somebody may be in front of you, like you said 08:02 at one point, and you will have an answer to tell them. 08:05 The church is what is going to bring health to the world, 08:08 I think, especially as they walk in our doors. 08:10 When I was into recovery I went through 'Steps to Christ' 08:15 in a heroin addiction just flown into rehab and I wept 08:19 like a baby, because I thought oh man, because the first 08:23 chapter in Step to Christ says things like, that God is 08:27 God, God is the God that created the entire universe. 08:31 Spoke and the universe came into existence. 08:34 I'm thinking, oh, that guy is the one that 08:37 wants to change my life, and He Spoke the 08:39 Universe into Existence. 08:41 I am thinking, I all of a sudden I thought, let's go through 08:44 every chapter with different issues, every single chapter 08:48 to stay with that book. 08:49 So this program, the first segment is going 08:52 through 'Steps to Christ'. 08:53 Like I said the first show, like this show understanding 08:56 that God is God and He spoke the world into existence. 08:59 When I was a little girl I was trashed, I'm trashed. 09:02 I was abused, my parents were drug addicts, and it was 09:05 right before I ended up homeless. 09:07 I was standing by a wishing well in Chinatown, and I am 09:10 with my uncle and everybody is throwing quarters into 09:14 this wishing well. 09:15 I am thinking man, I want those quarters. 09:18 It was like, what are they doing? 09:20 I want to jump in and gather stuff up and he said no. 09:24 When you throw quarter in your wish will come true. 09:27 I'm like shut up, are you kidding me. 09:30 No, so he gives me a quarter, and I'm thinking what 09:32 would my wish be? 09:34 I thought of one and I threw a quarter in. 09:37 The wish I thought of was I wanted the skies turn to 09:40 cotton Candy, well that night was the first time I 09:44 had seen a sunset it was pink and orange and beautiful. 09:47 For whatever reason, I knew there was 09:50 something bigger than me. 09:52 I think that God does that, He not only spoke the world 09:55 into creation but He says, you know what? 09:57 Give Me a chance and I will use the very creation to tell 10:00 you that I love you, to walk you through your recovery. 10:02 So going through 'Steps to Christ' is being able to say 10:05 let's get something underneath us in the first part of 10:08 recovery, find out who God is, find out who Christ is, 10:12 find out what things He offers us as far as His ability 10:16 to bring healing into our lives. 10:19 I'm so excited because I felt it, I know who God is. 10:22 I know what He is going to bring to the table. 10:24 So the only thing for anybody strung out, and addict, 10:27 porn addict, or if you are addicted to any kind of stuff. 10:30 I want to tell you, we will talk about everything. 10:33 The first couple of shows on confession, on repentance, 10:37 those kind of things. 10:38 The first couple of shows, let me look at this, 10:41 repentance, confession and consecration. 10:43 We are going to talk about first, a friend of mine is 10:46 coming on, Fred and Brenda Stoeker, and they are 10:49 absolutely amazing folks. 10:51 Fred wrote a series called 'Every Man's Battle'. 10:54 I need to just jump in Cheri because when we talk about 10:57 these issues, repentance, confession, consecration, 11:00 they seem like regular little Bible study things. 11:03 One of things we need to tell our folks is that we are 11:06 going to put some tough legs on these issues. 11:09 We are talking repentance, repentance for what? 11:11 What have I done that I need to repent of? 11:13 So we talk about every man's battle, 11:15 what are we talking about? 11:16 Were talking about severe sexual addictions. 11:18 Like this guy at one time was not only addicted to porn 11:20 but was sleeping with everybody on the planet I think. 11:24 His life, before coming a Christian, that was like the 11:27 macho thing to do, all his friends were like, your the man. 11:30 Then he becomes a Christian and realizes I don't want to be 11:33 that and what happened to him was the saddest thing. 11:37 What happens to a lot of us coming into the church, is we 11:39 don't want to be that, but all that stuff is in our head. 11:42 We've developed an appetite now and you have to deal 11:45 with that appetite because you have been bending the tree 11:47 this way for so long, and now you want to straighten it 11:49 up, how do you do that? 11:51 It's repentance for us in a nice way to look at it 11:54 very superficial, just saying I understand my sin and I'm not 11:59 going to do it anymore. 12:00 But that is not what repentance is. 12:02 Repentance is understanding the whole dynamics of that. 12:06 Like what you're putting out there, like Fred Stoeker 12:09 said, he wasn't safe around any woman no matter what age, 12:12 because he would go there in his head. 12:14 Now as he understood the sin, as he understood what 12:17 holiness is, who Christ is, he said I could stand in 12:21 the presence of any young woman and be safe. 12:24 Not only be safe but be a man of integrity, a man of God 12:27 and bring that health to them. 12:29 When he says that he cries, because God has brought him 12:32 through repentance, amazing stuff. 12:34 - and that, Cheri, needs to be talked about because if 12:36 Fred had it, someone else has it. 12:38 Several thousand people have it and they need to hear 12:40 I can get out of this. 12:42 One of the things that happens with addiction is that 12:45 you spiral down so far that it becomes your whole world. 12:47 No light is getting into that black hole. 12:50 - The devil says if they find out you are in trouble. 12:53 You are going to be so ashamed so you hide it more 12:56 and more and more. 12:58 This show will allow light to come in, and the world to open 13:04 up again because we are discussing it. 13:06 In discussion there is healing. 13:08 - Amen, not only healing, but like Fred and Brenda when 13:12 they come on, Fred has written a number of books. 13:15 One of them is called 'Tactics', and it is about how 13:17 to stay off addiction. 13:18 How do you find accountability? 13:20 How do you do those things? 13:22 So it is not only here's the issue, here's Christ. 13:25 Here are some really practical things to do. 13:28 Brenda Stoeker, she is this normal Christian woman 13:31 and finds out her husband is all strung out on porn. 13:33 I'm telling you there are some off there right now 13:36 just watching this part that says, 13:38 I don't understand that. 13:39 If you knew what was in your community, you would know 13:43 that you need to understand this. 13:45 Cliff and Freddie Harris are going to be on one of 13:47 the shows on confession. 13:49 He has a horrible background of drug addiction and being 13:52 out there, and it's not so much that I want people to 13:55 hear the backgrounds, but I want you to understand that 13:59 when Christ comes in there is such a joy when you see 14:02 the mercy of God and what He wants in our lives. 14:05 The way He walks us into recovery. 14:06 When you talk about confession, is confession like this 14:10 superficial God forgive me for lying. 14:14 God says no, there is something in your character that 14:19 allows lying, but let's look at the character stuff. 14:22 Let's go deep into that, and when someone says character 14:26 stuff, you don't even know how dark that gets. 14:29 God does, God does and He, going back toward theme text, 14:33 I know all your stuff and I love you anyway, 14:35 and I will heal you anyway. 14:37 I'm thinking there are some people who are getting a little 14:40 squeamish because they just don't, I don't have those 14:43 problems, I don't have that kind of thing. 14:44 I have a sermon, one of the things I say is that 14:47 sometimes we get the victory through senility. 14:49 Were just too old to bogey. 14:52 We forget what it was like we were young. 14:54 Yet there is a sphere of influence of young people around 14:57 you who may need to hear what you have to say who are 15:00 stuck and these things and that is why this is so 15:03 important, even though this may not be your life, 15:06 someone near you it is their life. 15:09 The Lord may be calling you to minister to them through 15:11 the like this kind of program, this is vital, this is 15:14 good, this is edgy, this is good television, 15:16 but more than that it is relevant television because 15:19 it touches the hearts and lives of those we see today. 15:22 In my last church we found needles down in the 15:25 basement of the church. 15:26 Deacon came up and said where did these come from? 15:29 Needles in the church. 15:30 People with porn addictions in the church. 15:32 There was one organization that had a group of pastors 15:36 come in for Pastoral conference and I don't remember 15:39 what denomination, there were 7000 pastors. 15:43 In the area hotels, the rentals for porn went up 15:47 in a huge way, I think most the pastors who were in 15:50 these rooms renting these movies probably didn't think 15:53 anyone would know. 15:54 The rental was so significant that people actually said 15:57 when this group comes into town there's more junk on TV. 16:01 So being able to say that, I don't say that in order to 16:04 shame anyone, I just say that in order to say we don't 16:07 have to be stuck there, we don't have to be stuck there. 16:10 On the first set of serious there is a guy coming on. 16:13 He is a normal Christian guy and his name is Ed McClure. 16:17 His wife Ann, they are amazing, but when he realized 16:20 he was in trouble, I love this because we are in such 16:23 denial, when he realized he was in trouble he was 500 16:25 pounds, so his addiction was food. 16:30 But it started out with an early molest, and it was 16:34 something he just blocked, so to be able for him to come 16:38 out, when he went to the doctor, he was lucky 16:41 enough to find a doctor that said to him, do you 16:44 have any emotional issues? 16:46 Rejection, unforgiveness, any of that kind of stuff? 16:49 That tends to show up in eating disorders. 16:52 So let's talk about that instead of dealing with any 16:55 of his foodstuff, he had him on his knees in his office 16:58 praying for forgiving people in his life. 17:01 So we will talk about the, what are the connections 17:05 with physical issues and those things. 17:07 What I love about those connections is the fact that, 17:11 I just want to run some things by you I think is real 17:15 interesting, there is a guy that wrote a book called 17:18 'Deadly Emotions', also Ellen White talked a lot about 17:22 90% of our diseases are from stress or emotional junk. 17:25 So this guy wrote this book 'Deadly Emotions. ' 17:28 One of the things he says, for one you have to understand 17:34 the mind-body spiritual thing. 17:36 That there is a connection and you can overcome that. 17:39 So I want to say that before I get into any of this. 17:41 You can overcome that, another thing I want to talk about 17:45 is anger and hostility causes hypertension, coronary 17:49 heart disease, resentment, bitterness, unforgiveness, self 17:54 hatred, autoimmune disorders, arthritis, lupus, multiple 17:59 sclerosis, anxiety, irritated bowl syndrome, panic 18:03 attacks, heart palpitations, repressed anger, tension, 18:06 migraine headaches, chronic back issues. 18:09 - physically you're killing yourself by holding onto 18:11 that grudge, sure. 18:12 And I have to say, fibromyalgia is a big thing, people 18:16 who have fibromyalgia or chronic fatigue syndrome. 18:20 That is all repressed anger. 18:22 So when people say, we don't you talk about all this. 18:26 I just want to say any where I travel, 18:29 anywhere I travel I go to a church and by the time I'm 18:32 out of that church I have been there six or seven hours 18:35 doing one to one with people. 18:37 We're talking about things that are killing them. 18:39 I just want to say to people please, don't be afraid to 18:42 bring the stuff to God, don't be afraid to look at it 18:45 because it is killing us one way or another. 18:47 - Yes, yes that is so exciting, again to not discuss these 18:52 things is to hurt ourselves. 18:54 You know that old adage, what you don't know won't hurt you. 18:57 What you don't do, what you don't discuss maybe killing 19:00 you, yeah, yeah and we are bringing healing by bringing 19:04 light to these subjects. 19:05 I like, I really like that text that God knows your stuff 19:11 and He wants to heal you anyway. 19:12 Is really, really exciting, God is not turned off by 19:15 these things and God's people shouldn't be turned off. 19:17 They don't surprise Jesus and they don't surprise the 19:20 devil, the only time a person is really surprised 19:22 sometimes it's us, but God is not surprised. 19:24 The devil is not surprised because he causes a lot of it. 19:26 So it needs to be talked about. 19:28 Exactly, exactly. 19:29 But before we talk about this much further we have a 19:31 break coming, stay by we will be right back. 19:40 We want to introduce you to a beautiful book called 19:43 'Steps To Christ', each program in this series is based 19:46 on a different chapter showing you how to become a 19:49 Christian and gain victory over your addictions. 19:52 'Steps To Christ' is our gift to you, free of charge. 19:55 Just call us at: 19:59 During regular business hours, or write to: 20:22 Hi, C. A. Murray and Cheri Peters and we are talking 20:25 about Celebrating Life In Recovery, this brand-new show 20:29 that you don't want to miss. 20:30 You really don't want to miss this one because it deals 20:33 with real-life, real-life issues, life as it is not as we 20:37 want it to be, as we find it, how God takes us, and where 20:40 we are makes us what He wants us to be. 20:42 - Exactly, you know it is like even not long ago I sat 20:46 with a 10-year-old prostitute. 20:47 10 years old and her parents are in prison for 20:50 prostitution, her mother. 20:52 She is now put in a foster care system and was picked up 20:55 by a Christian family which really has in their mind that 20:59 they want to do everything for her. 21:01 But she is in the mindset, this little girl, her mindset 21:04 is that she has to find every perpetrator in her 21:06 environment, in the church at the school and play them. 21:09 She was talking to me about that this is who I am. 21:13 This is what I know and so what was incredible I think is 21:17 that God put her next to me. 21:19 Because I could sit there and walk her into being able to 21:22 give that up and see herself different, maybe even do in 21:25 that paradigm shift to were instead of seeing herself as 21:28 this little prostitute, to see herself as somebody that 21:31 God can actually heal. 21:32 So I think when we talk about these things, they are out 21:35 there, I just got back from Christian University. 21:37 It is really an incredible University. 21:40 I talked about a girl being date raped, I talked with 21:43 another girl, she had tried ecstasy for the first time. 21:46 It was the first time she felt normal, she was ADD 21:49 and she was getting lost with that. 21:51 And with this series my hope is, not only I want to just 21:55 beg people for permission to say all this stuff out 21:58 loud, because my hope is they will meet the guy I met 22:01 in the drug house trying to kill myself. 22:03 God said I have such incredible plans for you, 22:06 and it's not to be in bondage with all this. 22:09 I think that for most of us we think if we don't talk 22:13 about it, it will go away. 22:14 - Yeah, and it's not going to go away. 22:16 It's not going to go away. 22:17 - It's going to get worse and the prison walls get thicker 22:19 and thicker, the bars get tighter and tighter if we 22:22 try to keep silent and not deal with these things. 22:25 - Right, so anybody that is out there listening even to 22:28 this show, and you are keeping silent, 22:31 no you do not have to. 22:32 Know that there is a movement, even in the Christian church 22:38 that says we are done being silent. 22:40 Now we are done being silent because we want to shock 22:42 everybody, we are done being silent because there is 22:45 victory in Christ and I know what. 22:46 People are getting where they are starting to depend so 22:49 much on the Holy Spirit and victory comes through that 22:52 dependence and it is like being able to say in something 22:55 like this that we are not white knuckling it through recovery. 22:58 We are celebrating life in recovery. 23:01 You know Cheri lets make a pledge, let's not be shocked 23:04 anymore, no more shock. 23:06 When somebody says I'm smoking this, I'm snorting this, 23:09 I have had this, no more shock. 23:11 One because the devil's not shocked, he causes the stuff. 23:15 Jesus not shocked because He has seen it before. 23:17 The only people that are shocked are us. 23:19 So let's not be shocked anymore, let's be like Christ. 23:21 Let's go to that woman at the well who has had seven 23:23 husbands, were not shocked we love you. 23:25 Because God loves you. 23:26 That is what this program does, it says no more shock. 23:29 I love even what you said, Christ was with the woman at 23:31 the well, and she is dancing around the fact that she 23:34 is not with, married to the guy she's with. 23:38 And God never condemned her, and it is amazing. 23:40 I worked with this one guy, and I love him. 23:43 He has been on 3ABN with me before and he has 15 piercings 23:47 on its face, dragons tattooed all over his head, 23:49 strung out on everything, and he meets Christ, and God 23:52 slowly convinces him to let the piercings go. 23:57 To let his hair grow out so you can't see the Dragon. 24:00 So God is such an incredible recovery partner. 24:03 We have to let Him be that. 24:06 One thing about Celebrating Life In Recovery is this idea 24:10 I have sat in counseling sessions and have had people say 24:14 things and inside my heart is going, you have got to be. 24:18 But you have to be stone faced because when a person has 24:21 gotten their life so beat up that they are coming to you 24:24 and exposing all this stuff, the last thing they need is 24:26 Cheri how did you let that happen to you? 24:29 That's what this show does, it doesn't waste time saying 24:34 girl, how did you let that happen to you? 24:36 Did you pray about it yet? 24:38 It goes right to, this is what you got, now we need to 24:41 find Jesus so you can get some healing. 24:43 That is what is redemptive and is the most exciting about 24:45 this show, because it doesn't just address problems, 24:47 it redresses them and it says this is what's happening, 24:50 this is how we fix it, here's Jesus. 24:52 When Jesus meet your problem, healing happens. 24:54 Let's look at a little bit of the clip from the guy with 24:59 the sex addiction, Fred and Brenda Stoeker. 25:02 Also we are going to see a clip on Cliff and Freddie 25:05 Harris and Ed McClure on changing their life. 25:08 And you're going to love all of them, 25:10 so let's just watch that. - Great 25:13 Can you tell us a little bit, in just a nutshell, 25:16 your testimony and then I will ask Brenda how did 25:18 she deal with all that. 25:20 In college I got hooked on pornography pretty deeply. 25:24 Then I was chasing women and had four girlfriends. 25:27 I was sleeping with three of them and was essentially 25:30 engaged to be married to two. 25:32 Honestly, I thought he was making it up and I laughed. 25:35 I said, you have got to be making this up. 25:37 This is too weird. - He came and told you? 25:39 Yes he told me about the struggles he had been having 25:41 and he was explaining to me some of the ways men are 25:44 different from women. 25:45 It was so different from what I understood. 25:48 So I had to learn quite a lot on the differences 25:53 between men and women. 25:54 This type of betrayal for women is extremely painful. 26:00 My son was just 12 years old, he was just 12. 26:08 I was downstairs in the basement and I had a syringe 26:15 in my arm, and he came running down the steps and he 26:21 stopped at the second step that made him eye level with 26:27 me and he pointed his finger at me and said, daddy 26:32 that is what you went to jail for last week. 26:38 I know it was nothing but the Holy Spirit speaking 26:41 through him saying, Clifford get it together. 26:45 I'm not ready yet Jesus, I've got to get high one more time, 26:57 do you know what it is like to live with a drug addict? 27:02 Your wife comes home from work and she goes in her 27:05 bedroom and shuts the door. 27:07 Your kids come home from school and they go to their 27:09 bedroom and shut their door. 27:11 And you are sitting in the chair out, looking crazy. 27:16 Because I want to feel good, because I want to be 27:21 one of the fellows. 27:27 When you do drugs brother, drugs become the number one 27:31 factor in your life. 27:34 You don't care about your mama, you don't care about 27:38 your children, you don't care about your wife, 27:40 you don't care about your self. 27:44 Nothing else matters, I made the wrong decision in my life. 27:50 I am sitting here listening to Cliff and I am thinking 27:54 Cliff, I am that 12-year-old boy looking you in the eye. 27:59 Probably in tears, saying daddy this is what got you in jail. 28:06 Cheri: because your dad was dealing drugs. 28:09 - you remind me so much of my dad, and you know I was thinking 28:12 sitting here thinking, I want to throw this glass at you. 28:17 This use to be my daily wear, and I used to stuff myself 28:20 into this, close to 500 pounds and really miserable. 28:25 The weight was the least of my problems it seemed because 28:28 I had chronic, severe, severe depression. 28:31 Anxiety for years, heart arrhythmia, high blood pressure, 28:36 oozing knarred psoriasis that nobody could contend with. 28:40 - even all that is just a symptom of toxins and poisons 28:44 oozing out of your body. - absolutely, 28:46 outward manifestations of inward conditions. 28:49 Medications, I was on chronic medications, 7 different 28:53 medications that quote you never get off, 28:56 you never stop taking them, they are with you for ever. 28:59 In one year we dropped right at 200 pounds. 29:02 It really took 15 months to get off all the medication, 29:06 and I've stayed off the medications and 29:08 it has been amazing transition. 29:10 Cheri: you are half the man you used to be! 29:12 Well yeah, about 2/3rd's, oh 3/5, 60% of the man I use to be. 29:20 I wish that you could see everybody on these shows. 29:22 I wish the whole entire audience could meet them 29:25 personally because they are amazing. 29:26 It is amazing where they have come from. 29:28 As you saw, it is amazing what they have dealt with, 29:31 and it is also amazing what God has done in their life. 29:34 Now they are reaching out to other people, 29:36 teaching other people to have the victory they've gotten 29:39 which is incredible. 29:41 - it really is. - I didn't want to say amazing again. 29:43 It's incredible. 29:45 It is both amazing and incredible, one that you can get 29:49 healing for this stuff. 29:50 That you do not have to stay in the hole. 29:53 If you have enough sense to call Jesus has enough love to 29:57 answer Cheri, you know that because a lot of these 29:59 stories are your stories, you have been there and done 30:02 that and seen it and lived it. 30:03 Even when you severely change, your body neuro-chemically, 30:08 you change your mind, and all that stuff in your 30:11 addictions, and God says again that is nothing, 30:14 I created the entire world, I created everything, 30:17 spoke it into existence, trust Me with your life. 30:20 So being able to say in Celebrating Life In Recovery 30:23 in the first place I want to get to, and the first place 30:25 I want everybody to get to is that we have a God that is 30:29 says understand who I Am, and trust Me with your stuff. 30:33 When these shows are being taped, we here at 3ABN have 30:36 to get used to some stuff because you brought young 30:40 people in who didn't look like Sabbath school kids. 30:45 They brought their affect with them and we had to learn 30:48 you don't go by the outer appearance because they are in 30:51 different stages of growth, and in different stages of 30:55 change, and I'm so glad, so glad that Jesus can pull us 30:58 out, Jesus can change us, Jesus can make take us the way 31:02 we are and make us something He wants us to be. 31:04 We will see that on these shows, 31:06 and that is very, very exciting. 31:07 I have to tell you something I thought was very amazing. 31:09 I asked God one-time, I said God who do work with? 31:13 I mean do You work with the child molester? 31:16 Do You work with a gay guy down the street? 31:19 Do You work with the one strung out on porn? 31:21 Do You work with the, the hardest one for me is the 31:24 religious addict judging everybody. 31:26 Do You work with a person that is a workaholic and 31:28 driving you crazy? 31:30 Type A, okay God just tell me, who do You work with? 31:34 Through the Holy Spirit, He said I'll make it real 31:37 simple, and I'm thinking okay because I have two brain 31:40 cells simple is good. 31:42 He said get a mirror, a little mirror, and put it under 31:47 their nose and if it steams up, if it fogs up, work with them. 31:52 So if somebody is breathing, if they're breathing God 31:55 says they are My child and I died to reconcile them. 31:59 Reconcile them in a sense that some day God will come 32:02 back and take them, but to reconcile them today, to have 32:06 them be filled with joy today, to delight in who they are 32:09 today because they have met God. 32:10 If we could see that in the church, that in the church 32:13 God says heal first here and once you get an 32:17 understanding of who I Am, I will flood the building with 32:20 people and people who want you to have the right answer. 32:23 How do I get, you know I'm dying, physically, mentally, 32:27 spiritually I'm dying. 32:28 Please address all those things, don't just don't feed me 32:31 some brown rice, bring me in an address all those things. 32:34 Let God heal me. -except me for that which I have. 32:38 You want me to the whole, but I am not whole. 32:41 So you have to take me where I am and move me along 32:43 that road to wholeness. 32:45 The guy with the facial piercings that I talked about, 32:48 what was interesting is I bring him into the church, 32:50 it was the funniest thing, bring him into the church and 32:53 he doesn't even know how to sit. 32:55 He's nervous sitting, he doesn't know how to eat with 32:58 somebody, I sent him to the pastor to be baptized. 33:00 You have to picture this, he goes over there and comes 33:03 back over and says, that pastor is lucky I didn't just 33:06 bash his face in, that guy is a nut. 33:09 He is screaming and yelling and says the only reason I didn't 33:12 bash in his face is because he's your pastor and I love you. 33:16 I am thinking man, he is just furious. 33:19 What did he say to you? 33:22 He said you know the dude I accepted, Jesus? 33:25 He said that dude was three dudes in one. 33:29 I thought how funny is that, and so this is somebody 33:32 that doesn't even know basic things we think 33:35 we will need to teach them. 33:37 He doesn't even know anything, and he was saying I am 33:40 so lost, I don't know how to be a parent. 33:43 We have one show talking about him, he doesn't know how 33:46 to be a parent and when his kids were crying, 33:48 when they were little, he was so strong out on drugs, 33:51 he would put pillows over their face till they passed 33:54 out so he could get some sleep. 33:56 In his drug state, he thought that was okay. 34:00 As God is healing him, as God is bringing around healing 34:04 he says, I keep this image of some of the things I've 34:08 done, horrendous this things, horrible things. 34:10 At the same time I get this image, I hear God say, 34:14 I forgive you and he cries like a baby. 34:17 Because that is who God is, and God is saying as a church 34:20 be that for each other and you would heal like crazy. 34:23 - praise God, you know we are talking about experiences, 34:25 and one of the reasons I think this show is so valuable, 34:28 I look back at my own Ministry years ago Cheri. 34:30 My first church I had a fellow come to me and said, 34:33 pastor my sister is a prostitute and she's working for 34:35 this guy and we got to go get my sister. 34:38 Like we have to go to the house and get her. 34:40 So we dress up like ninja's, black jeans, black 34:43 everything and we go to the house and we said at 34:46 11 o'clock you have to be at that door. 34:47 And you have to jump through the window and we will 34:49 catch you and we're going to runaway. 34:51 To start with I'm in my early 20's, we did it, I put on my 34:55 black jeans and a black hood and we were there at 11 o'clock. 34:58 She comes to the window and throws out her suitcase. 35:01 We go through this whole thing, we get her into church 35:04 and while I was there I tried to stay with her. 35:06 But after a left that church I found out she went right 35:08 back, because she didn't find nurturing, she was ashamed 35:11 of her life, and the good people in church never embraced 35:14 her, they never called her into the circle. 35:17 So she found her way her right back to that same guy. 35:19 And what is really good about Celebrating Life In 35:22 Recovery, and I want to scream this on the top of the 35:25 biggest building, is one of the things I promise you, 35:29 you will learn as a church throughout these next coming 35:32 segments, not the first series because that is all about 35:35 who God is, that basic foundation. 35:38 But as the show develops is teaching the church how to 35:42 speak to someone like that. 35:43 Sometimes people will say the only reason I don't speak 35:45 is because I don't know what to say. 35:46 I don't know if somebody comes up with those kind of 35:49 issues, I don't even know what to say. 35:52 What is the next step? 35:53 I don't know how to sit with them, so I avoid them. 35:55 It is like oh, I'm so excited to be able to say is stay tuned 36:00 and watch because we will show you some of that stuff. 36:02 I go back to it, it is good to be able to say I got 36:05 stuff and you've got stuff. 36:06 When you share your stuff, I can say hey I've got 36:09 stuff like that, so maybe we can help each other through 36:11 this stuff because you are not alone. 36:13 If you've got it, I've got it, all people 36:15 have got some stuff. 36:17 We have some shows on what happens when it's not your 36:19 stuff, somebody comes in and their addiction, or their 36:22 anger just takes everything from you. 36:25 We interviewed this one woman, Joy Swift and this 14-year- 36:28 old kid comes over, because he doesn't like the fact 36:30 they have so much love in their family and he kills all 36:33 of her children, all four of her children and it changed 36:36 everything in her life. 36:37 On this next roll and I want to show you some more clips. 36:41 He talks about joy, it talks about a Vietnam vet who has an 36:44 rage disorder and married co-dependent and that is 36:47 a whole another issue. 36:48 We've had criminologist and had an interview with her, 36:51 and a convicted sex offender. 36:53 Talking about the sex offender, how do you keep people 36:57 around you comfortable and safe? 37:00 How do you get accountability in the church, how do you 37:02 keep yourself accountable so you don't reoffend? 37:04 It is just an interesting show, a lot of times people 37:08 don't like you covering that stuff, but when we cover it 37:11 we get educated and we also know then what to do to keep 37:14 everyone in recovery and safe. 37:17 At the end when everything is said and done, you look at 37:21 God and think Wow, You are amazing. 37:23 So just take a look at this next clip. 37:28 I went to play Bingo at the American Legion and we left 37:31 the four healthy children at home alone. 37:33 Steve was 14, Gregg was 12, Tonya was 3, and Stacy was 37:38 17 months old, and while we were gone, a 14-year-old 37:42 neighbor boy came in and shot and killed all 4 of them. 37:46 - oh no! - yes they were murdered. 37:48 You're trying to suggest in your head what happened? 37:51 - right, I needed to see the kids to face the reality. 37:55 I am a person that needs to get things done. 37:58 George went into shock immediately and basically shut 38:03 down, I needed to get things done. 38:05 I needed to go in the house, I needed to make sure my 38:07 kids were okay, I needed to see the bodies to accept 38:09 the reality, and I was not given that option. 38:13 Instead I was pulled away, and everything that I needed 38:16 for my healing, to accept and begin to heal right away, 38:20 was taken away from me. 38:22 By the time we got home, police cars and ambulances 38:25 were everywhere, and they would not let us in. 38:28 We were actually taken to the police station that night 38:31 and endured... 38:32 - they wouldn't let you in the house? 38:34 - I never went into my house ever again, I was 38:37 never allowed in again. 38:39 We were put in patrol car and taken to the police station 38:42 and went through seven hours of interrogations, strip 38:45 searches, we were the suspects. 38:48 - Oh no! - in the murders. 38:50 We were very poor and I got involved with another friend 38:55 in a homicide which involved a cowboy and we made 39:02 it and he didn't. 39:03 - he picked you up, you guys decided to rob him, for what 39:09 ever, and beat him up and he ends up dying. 39:11 That led to some lockup time, not long because they 39:15 eventually came down and offered me military service. 39:19 Which they do not do any more, military service in 39:22 exchange for dropping a felony for the rest of your life. 39:24 What year was that? 39:26 That was 1967. -so the military service was Vietnam? 39:30 They sent me to Vietnam which now they taught me how to 39:35 kill the right way, if there is a right way. 39:37 And we know there is not, but that created more anger, 39:40 more frustration, and the smallest little thing would set 39:44 me off, and I think I had the most article 15's of 39:48 anybody in my company. 39:49 what is an article 15? 39:51 It is a military discipline action, you forfeit your pay, 39:53 loss of rank, and extra duty. 39:57 Pretty soon, I think when I was in a war situation making 40:02 the five level of rank I had pay and overseas duty pay, 40:08 and combat duty pay, I was only making 258 a month. 40:13 So that led into more drugs, dealing in the 40:16 black market situation. - to increase your income? 40:19 To increase income, and have more drugs, and more medication, 40:22 covering up actually what you were doing every day. 40:26 You've been cutting yourself, burning yourself, how long? 40:31 for six years. 40:33 In the short time that we work together this is the 40:35 first time I think I have heard you talk about having 40:38 some hope that it will be over some time? 40:41 - yeah, I have a hope because it has been easier, it is 40:47 getting easier and easier for me to stop for a certain 40:53 duration of time that I will not do it. 40:57 Then I will have a relapse, but then I always have a hope 40:59 that I can keep going. 41:01 Well, you talk about my story, a testimony, there is no 41:04 reason to share a testimony unless it is going to be a 41:07 blessing to someone else. 41:08 And every person has a testimony that is unique. 41:11 This is a tough one that we shared years ago, 41:14 and it was a tough one. 41:16 I am guilty of being a child molester. -convicted? 41:22 Convicted child molester from 1992, but praise God 41:28 He has delivered me from that. 41:30 I have absolutely no urges for molesting children anymore, 41:33 and that is only because of God, only because of God. 41:37 - just like any addict, it's a day to day program? 41:40 But just because that code of conduct is now set up in 41:44 my life, doesn't mean that God doesn't bless and bring 41:48 people into our lives who need to hear this story. 41:51 They need to hear that it is possible to be in recovery 41:56 and not have those urges anymore. 41:59 I mean praise God, that's completely Him. 42:04 Those particular clips, those folks came in and everybody 42:09 like I said, were going through 'Steps to Christ'. 42:11 They went through faith and acceptance with Joyce Swift. 42:14 On the test of discipleship, growing up in Christ, 42:16 and the work in the life, so it was all talking about 42:19 different parts of our recovery with the basic 42:23 foundation of Christ. 42:24 What I think is amazing, even faith and acceptance. 42:28 How do I accept what comes my way? 42:30 You know if somebody says, just pray about it, sometimes just 42:34 pray about it, that may be the ultimate thing, but it's 42:38 sounds so you give me more than that because right now I'm 42:41 dying, like when Joy said, somebody just killed all 42:44 four of my children, I have prayed. 42:48 So give me something more than that, what is faith and 42:51 acceptance actually mean? 42:52 What does surrender actually mean? 42:54 What is it mean to turn it over to God really? 42:57 I didn't even realize in my own surrender when God says 43:01 surrender the fact, I want to be normal my whole life. 43:04 I still do, if anybody has a clue on how to do that, 43:08 just send me an e-mail. 43:10 But I wanted to be normal my whole life, got the self- 43:13 help books, and all that kind of stuff and finally one 43:15 time I heard the Holy Spirit say Cheri, you will be 43:18 normal when I come back. -Yeah, yeah. 43:20 I'm thinking shut up, are You a back tomorrow? 43:22 Because if you're not coming back tomorrow that is not 43:25 enough and I remember just feeling that really strong. 43:29 Then I started to grieve that, because I'm thinking, 43:31 wait a minute, C. A, gets to be normal. 43:34 Well not really because I know him. 43:37 So it's like something else gets to be normal, and you 43:39 point out somebody in the church and you think they look 43:41 normal, they look like they have it all together. 43:43 God just said, He so impressed upon me Cheri, just accept 43:47 the fact that when I come back you will never struggle 43:50 with anything, any of this ever again. 43:53 You'll never hold a molester kid, there won't be another 43:56 drunk driver, nobody will be critical, nobody will be 43:58 judgmental, all that stuff, that all changes. 44:01 When I come back, so until then please deal with what ever 44:05 what is on your plate to the best of your ability. 44:07 Surrender it to Me, and when I heard the word surrender 44:11 at first it sounded like such an easy thing to do. 44:13 All of a sudden when God wanted me to give up this sense 44:17 of wanting to be normal, thinking my life was going to 44:20 all of a sudden come to a place for our would have it all 44:23 together, I gave it to Him, and grieved that for a while, 44:26 it was like a death. 44:27 When I was finally able to give it to Him, I felt so 44:31 amazing, so it's being able to say to get through 44:34 these different steps in your recovery so you can work 44:40 with whatever is on your plate, whatever it is. 44:42 Whether it is something you caused by your own addiction, 44:44 somebody inflicted that onto you because of life 44:47 circumstances, God says, either way it doesn't matter to Me 44:51 It is like Solomon said in Ecclesiastes, that which was 44:54 is there is nothing new under heaven. 44:56 A number of things jump out at me, Joy Swift, faith and 45:00 acceptance, you get four children murdered. 45:02 One of the things it says to me is the next time I break 45:06 a fingernail, or even hit a deer with my car, I should 45:08 think the world is coming to an end because there is 45:11 somebody out there who lost four children and had to 45:15 deal with that, had to find a reason to get up the next 45:18 morning and then accept the person and forgive the 45:22 person who did that. 45:23 So my life when I break a fingernail, -or even more than 45:27 that, the reason I had Joy on the show, the reason I 45:31 brought her on the show, is in my own recovery, 45:32 is my own parents were addicts. 45:34 They had kids when they had me. I was homeless by a certain age. 45:37 The first time I heard of Joy Swift, she wrote a book called 45:39 'They Are All Dead Aren't They?' 45:41 The first time I read her book it gave me permission 45:44 to forgive my mom, do you know what I mean? 45:48 So it is not just about the people who are being 45:51 presented on this show, it gave me permission to say 45:55 I don't want to walk around with all this unforgiveness, 45:58 anger and the stuff that is killing me. 46:00 There is a way for God to teach us how to forgive. 46:04 - Praise the Lord, and even those that we tend to rate 46:07 and rank sin, because the wages of all sin is death. 46:10 But when you talk about child molestation, there are some 46:13 things we say is really nasty, nasty that is really bad. 46:15 We don't want talk about it, we don't want to be around 46:18 them, we don't want to believe that God can even forgive 46:21 and except and heal that sin because it is so orneriest to us 46:24 We hate it so much we figure that God must hate 46:28 them too, and listening to this story says to me, 46:31 hey, God can forgive them, God to love them, 46:33 God can heal him, Yes! 46:35 What is really interesting to me about the love of Wayne 46:38 God so adores him and Wayne delights in that forgiveness, 46:42 and he wants to talk to every molester out there and say if 46:46 you could understand the joy I feel in the forgiveness I have 46:49 and the fact that God is untwisting all the twisted 46:52 stuff that I so used to enjoy. 46:55 God is untwisting that and giving me clean desires and 46:58 holy desires and in his excitement he wanted 47:02 to tell other molesters that. 47:04 But even on this show, this was a hard show to do and 47:07 people walked off the set, people on the camera, 47:09 and directing the show walked off and said I don't know 47:13 what I feel about that. 47:14 So even here looking at his joy, it was difficult. 47:17 So some of these topics are going to be difficult but the 47:20 reality is all of heaven says please don't judge them. 47:24 I am trying to bring healing to places that are so 47:27 twisted, and God is saying you have to give 47:30 Me a chance to do that. 47:32 And when they come in the building, keep them accountable 47:34 but give them a chance to heal. 47:36 - Yes, yes, yes and if God can forgive the Wayne's of the 47:39 world, He can forgive the C. A.'s and the Cheri's, 47:41 because we are all in this thing together. -exactly! 47:44 That is great, that's great. 47:45 There is another clip that I want to bring in. 47:49 And in 'Steps to Christ' it goes in segments, or levels. 47:53 The first part of steps to Christ in recovery is figuring 47:57 out who God is, figuring out who Christ is, understanding 48:00 my predicament, I'm in trouble and I need a Savior. 48:05 I have one, God created the world, Christ died for me, 48:11 I have one, and He cares for me. 48:13 How cool is that! 48:14 So being able to take it around that He cares for me. 48:16 The second one is the different steps on that, acceptance, 48:20 and faith, and growing up in that. 48:23 When I say growing up in that, I love the fact that there 48:26 was an addict, and he is in recovery right? 48:27 And he was in recovery just 7 days and he goes in 48:30 to buy some cereal for breakfast. 48:32 He is not in a good mood, I've been in recovery 7 days, 48:35 don't talk to me I'm just buying some cereal. 48:37 He picks up a box of cereal, and on the next few aisle 48:40 he sees something he wants that and not the cereal. 48:43 So he puts the cereal on that shelf and walks away. 48:46 His conscience says, that's not where the cereal belongs. 48:49 He is like so what! So what! 48:52 He couldn't let it go, he had a go back and get the box of 48:55 cereal and go back to the right aisle and put it on the right 48:58 shelf, so He said that he is growing up in Christ. 49:00 Like so in the middle of 'Steps to Christ' how do you 49:02 grow in the Lord, how do you will learn to live in the 49:05 Lord, and the last part of the book talks about the 49:08 knowledge of who God is. 49:09 It's like when you get to a place and you absolutely think 49:12 I think God is so incredible that even as I 49:15 stumble around in this Christian walk, in this 49:18 recovery, God still, as I'm falling, tries to soften my fall 49:23 Why does He do that? Why doesn't He just let me smash 49:26 to the ground and learn my lesson? 49:28 Because God says I love you. 49:30 In Romans 2:4 it says, that the reason God does that, 49:33 that God does not come back so harshly and judge us, 49:36 because He knows that in His love and kindness 49:39 we are reconcile back to Him. 49:41 So we were talking about that and in this next roll in 49:45 I want you to look at, Leo Schrevan, who is a friend of 49:49 mine, he is amazing and he talks about how to get power 49:53 and strength in your walk. 49:54 Fa'asoa, he is a friend of mine, he is incredible. 49:58 He was raised by a family selling drugs and that type 50:01 of stuff and now he is going to teach the gospel. 50:04 We also did a show on cancer, different people affected 50:08 by cancer in different ways. 50:09 So watch this and see what you think. 50:13 Oh first of all it's a pleasure to be with you and I 50:14 appreciate what you are doing, what a joy. 50:16 Yeah it goes back to 1975, I was a messed up teenager. 50:20 Just born violent and out-of-control. 50:22 I made bad choices until I got to the age of 15 and my 50:26 mother began to pray for me. 50:27 There's nothing more dangerous than a praying mother you know. 50:28 You might as well give up, anybody out there, if your 50:30 mothers praying for you now, just give up and save 50:32 yourself a lot of pain. 50:34 So at any rate, yeah we had an experience. 50:36 Two guys came into the house and held us up for three 50:38 hours and try to kill us three times. 50:40 - First of all I have to say, you and your brother are 50:42 pranksters, you thought when the guys came in that your 50:44 brother... - no, no, it was my brother's girlfriend. 50:46 My brother had just flown in with his girlfriend Mary, 50:48 three hours before. 50:50 He is a terrible prankster, so when these two guys jump 50:53 in our house and blow the door open and are holding us 50:55 up, she thinks it's a joke. 50:57 So she walks right up to the one guy and is laughing, 50:58 this is really funny! 51:00 He said shut up lady and throws her down and it took us 51:03 10 minutes to convince her these guys are real. 51:04 When she realized it, she passed out. 51:07 We got off to a bad start. 51:09 They didn't like us from the get-go. 51:10 But that is how it started and I'm sitting there thinking 51:13 I'm going to die tonight, where am I going? 51:15 Anyway I wasn't going to heaven, that was a given. 51:16 So I figured I was going to hell, and it was a bad feeling. 51:20 You don't think about life and death when you're 15. 51:22 It lasted for three hours and they finally took us into 51:25 the garage and they're going to kill us. 51:26 They lined us up and my praying mother, a most amazing thing 51:30 she starts praying out loud and singing out loud. 51:31 These guys were trying to shoot her. - shut up! 51:33 It was amazingly unreal and to make a long story short 51:36 they couldn't pull the trigger three times, they tried. 51:40 That same night they went on and shot other people 51:41 after they left our house. 51:43 That was the night that I said I'm sick of my life. 51:45 I'm tired of doing it my way, there has to be a 51:47 better way of life than this. 51:48 That's the first time I decided to put God in my life 51:50 and the Bible, and I'll tell you it changed my life. 51:53 Cancer was just so foreign to me, the concept of cancer 51:57 was foreign, and I was one of those wonderful friends 52:00 who said with every best intention, Sharon, let me know 52:03 if there's anything I can do to help, okay? 52:05 Oh absolutely! 52:06 And I didn't, she didn't call me. 52:08 I'm thinking well she didn't call she must be okay. 52:10 - she has friends, people that are able. 52:13 She has a husband and a daughter, but during the day 52:16 they are at work and in school and Sharon is home alone. 52:18 But I didn't think what that would feel like because 52:21 I had no clue, I just had no clue. 52:23 So when I was diagnosed she knew, I'm a very social 52:26 person, I love to talk to people. 52:28 You sit around waiting for the phone to ring, actually 52:30 hoping a telephone solicitor calls because of the 52:33 one-time you don't care. 52:36 At two years old, my memory of two years old is when 52:40 is waking up in the middle of the night some time, with a 52:43 bright light on, my dad is arguing with my mother and he 52:47 comes over and grabs one of these rocks. 52:49 You have to understand the setting real quick. 52:51 On the islands were in our home, it is open and there is 52:55 no windows and so we slept in these mosquito nets. 52:59 They are triangular, so you have to have something to 53:02 hold them and keep them from flying all over the place. 53:05 So I see my dad coming over and grabbing one of these 53:07 things as he is screaming at my mother and she is 53:10 sleeping because she's tired. 53:12 It is way late at night, and smashing her face with 53:14 this rock, that is my two year old memory. 53:16 It was so traumatic that I still remember it as 53:21 if it was yesterday. 53:22 Growing up, the majority of the time when I see my 53:25 mother she was at the hospital, because my father had 53:28 just gotten drunk the night before or was high in dope. 53:32 He just beat her, so I would see my mother with scars 53:35 and bruises and broken things. 53:39 On some of these interviews is so difficult to even watch 53:42 or listen like on the cancer interview. 53:46 Pastor Mike lost a four-year-old daughter of brain 53:49 cancer, when he said that I had not heard that before. 53:52 He had said it on the set and I looked and thought I 53:55 don't know how to respond to that. 53:57 So I know as we cover some of these shows are pretty 54:01 intense, but they always have a way for you to look at 54:05 that and know that God is going to step in and 54:08 get you through that. 54:09 The difference between choosing recovery and not, 54:12 is having a life and not. 54:14 In watching our own production people here, some of 54:19 these programs really hit them hard. 54:21 At the end of the day they were really beat up because 54:24 of the emotion, because of the subject matter, and yet 54:27 there is always this ray of hope. 54:29 The people that we are interviewing, that are on your 54:33 show, have met the dragon and defeated him. 54:36 They are not victims anymore, they are on top. 54:39 I could be beat up without any hope. 54:41 Instead of beat up with hope. 54:43 You're going to get beat up anyway, so you might as well 54:45 have Jesus because there is always hope in Jesus. 54:48 That is one of the things that this show highlights, it will 54:51 say to you, even though you are in the midst of this, 54:54 even though you have had this experience, Jesus can still 54:58 find you, Jesus can still save you, Jesus can still heal 55:02 you, Jesus can take what you are and make you into 55:04 something that you may not even recognize you will be 55:07 so beautiful in Christ. 55:08 Stay with us we have a break and we will be right back. 55:12 Amazing stories of real people in real situations discussing 55:16 issues that really matter. 55:17 The complete first season of Celebrating Life In Recovery 55:20 is now available on DVD and can be ordered by calling: 55:27 hosted by Cheri Peters this season follows principles 55:30 of the book 'Steps to Christ'. 55:32 See for yourself how God changed the lives of convicted, 55:34 the accused, and victims of terrible crimes. 55:37 You won't want to miss a moment of these powerful interviews. 55:42 I want to thank you so much for letting us present 55:44 this show to you. 55:46 Celebrating Life In Recovery is one of, I think I could 55:50 die after this and be so fulfilled. 55:53 For people that are in recovery is going to be a God 55:56 thing, is going to bring in information and give them 55:58 encouragement, they are going to see a number of people 56:01 from various addictions that have recovered, that have a 56:04 life that are standing up and saying, you know what? 56:07 I didn't think I could walk through this, I thought the 56:09 images of porn and all this junk would be in my head 56:12 for the rest of my life and they are not. 56:13 People in the church are more equipped in what to say 56:16 and what not to say now, I'm not afraid people that are 56:19 from different lifestyles. 56:21 So I'm just so excited about this, but I want you to 56:24 know I started this too in a very personal way. 56:27 My father died of a crack addiction not long ago. 56:31 I remember that during the time I get a call from my 56:34 sister saying that your dad died. 56:37 She knows that I haven't seen him forever. 56:39 My dad was caught molesting me the first time I was 3 56:42 months old and it was a really difficult relationship. 56:45 He had a lot of damage in his life, I wish I could have 56:48 been able to reconcile with him. 56:52 I wish he could have found God, could have found joy in his life 56:56 I remember one time just crying and asking God why do 57:00 I feel so bad because I feel so bad and there is such a 57:03 ache in me that none of that happened for him. 57:06 He died in such a horrible way, crack House, 95 pounds, 57:11 his fingernails and hair all grown out, and that stuff. 57:14 God said to me one time in worship, through the Holy 57:18 Spirit, is that I grieve over every single person that 57:22 dies in their addictions, that dies outside of 57:25 a relationship with Me. 57:26 I'm thinking no way, so in a sense I felt in a small way 57:30 what God feels when any one of us dies in our stuff 57:34 because He said in Isaiah 57:18, I know all your stuff 57:37 and I want to heal you, I delight in healing you. 57:40 You do not have to die in your junk, and I want to say to 57:44 the church we need to be screaming that from the tops of 57:48 buildings, God doesn't want us to die in our stuff. 57:51 So I want to say that Celebrating Life In Recovery 57:53 is going to be an incredible show and we will see you next 57:57 time and until then remember, God is crazy about you. |
Revised 2014-12-17