Hello, and welcome to
Behold the Lamb presents.
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I'm Chris Shelton, your host.
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And I'm so thankful that
you have chosen to tune in
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for another Bible
study with myself,
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and Pastor Kenny Shelton today.
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Today's message is entitled,
"Improve Your Marriage."
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And it's number nine in
this lovely study guide,
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that is entitled,
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"Sharing God's
Love Makes You Happier,
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What the Bible says?"
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Brother Richard Bland,
from United Prison Ministries,
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put this together.
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And we liked it so much,
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as we've said in
previous programs,
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that we decided
to do an hour study
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on each one of
these Bible lessons
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that are in here.
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And in the very back,
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for those of you
who may be tuning in
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for the very first time,
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there are actually,
I haven't counted them,
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but there's several stories
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all the way from Genesis
to the Book of Revelation,
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with all the references
so you can go and say,
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"I wanna know about Lord
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or I wanna know about
Daniel in the lion's den."
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You can look in the back,
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and there's a quick
reference guide right there.
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So with every program
that you choose to purchase,
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or to donate a love
gift to the ministry
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'cause we really
don't sell anything,
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but we ask for a love
gift for these programs.
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We're gonna send
you one of these free
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every time you call and
order one of these messages.
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And again, I
mentioned that today's title is,
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"Improve Your Marriage."
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Improve Your
Marriage, you know, years ago
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someone told me
that marriage is a work.
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And, of course, being
young you think of work,
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that doesn't make sense.
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'Cause we're always
thinking about marriage
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as being some type of euphoria,
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just real
excitement, true happiness,
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finding the right
person, until reality sets in.
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And you're married,
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and things just aren't
exactly the way you think.
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And I remember
coming to the conclusion,
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you know, what?
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They were right.
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Marriage is a
work, and, you know,
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we can find
guidelines in the world.
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Other programs that may
help to build a good marriage,
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but there is only
one moral absolute,
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and that's the Bible.
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So we're so
thankful and grateful
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to be able to
open up God's Word,
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and read some of what
God has for His people.
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And I truly believe that
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if we would just
follow God's guideline,
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and we implement His guideline
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in the love that He
wants us to implement it with,
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then our lives
would be so much happier.
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Our homes would be,
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it would have the
atmosphere of heaven.
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And I know that you
would want that in your home,
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your children would be happy,
your spouse would be happy.
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I know, I'm happier
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when I can feel
God's presence in my home.
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So I hope you'll stay tuned
as we have this Bible study
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entitled again,
"Improve Your Marriage,"
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with Pastor Kenny Shelton.
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But first as always,
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we're blessed to go
the 3ABN Worship Center,
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and we're gonna listen to a song
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that is entitled "Satisfied."
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And it will be sung by
Donna Shurley and Jack Crosby.
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All my life long I had panted
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For a drink
from some cool spring
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That I hoped
would quench the burning
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Of the thirst I felt within
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Hallelujah, I have found Him
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Whom my soul so long has craved
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Jesus satisfies my longings
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Through His blood I now am saved
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Feeding on the husk around me
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Till my strength was almost gone
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Longed my soul
for something better
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Only still to hunger on
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Hallelujah, I have found Him
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Whom my soul so long has craved
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Jesus satisfies my longings
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Through His blood I now am saved
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Poor I was and sought for riches
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Something that would satisfy
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But the dust I gathered round me
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Only mocked my soul's sad cry
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Hallelujah, I have found Him
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Whom my soul so long has craved
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Jesus satisfies my longings
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Through His blood I now am saved
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Well of water ever springing
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Bread of life so rich and free
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Untold wealth that never faileth
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My Redeemer is to me
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Hallelujah, I have found Him
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Whom my soul so long has craved
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Jesus satisfies my longings
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Through His blood I now am saved
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Hallelujah, I have found Him
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Whom my soul so long has craved
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Jesus satisfies my longings
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Through His blood I now am saved
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Through His blood I now am saved
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Thank you for joining us
today here at Behold the Lamb.
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We very much appreciate
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all of your letters, your cards,
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and you know, just sending
in a letter of appreciation,
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or with questions
that you might have.
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We do our very best
to get back with you,
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I've often said,
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I'm pretty slow with
everything that's going on.
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But don't get discouraged,
'cause if you don't get,
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you know, answer
to your question,
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you can always write again,
you can always give a call.
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We really need that contact.
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Thank you for your love,
your prayers, and your support
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to help get this
message around the world.
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Today, we're
gonna be talking about,
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I think, it's a very,
very interesting subject.
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Some of you will
say, well, I don't,
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I'm not qualified for it,
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or I don't know
anything about it.
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But after we
study the Word of God,
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I think, you'll
understand a little better,
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as I do, after all
these years of marriage.
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We're gonna be
talking about marriage,
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and "Improve Your Marriage,"
that's the subject today,
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"Improve Your Marriage."
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And I wanna make it
clear before we begin,
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before I have prayer.
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What I'm talking about here,
we're talking about marriage.
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We are just talking
about improving your marriage,
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improving it.
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We're not talking
about, lot of people
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who may be having some real
difficult times in their lives,
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that'll be a little different,
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you know, subject
and different material
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that would be on there.
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We're talking about
somebody who just says,
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"I have a pretty good marriage,
I have a good marriage."
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But regardless there are ways
to improve that good marriage.
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And so, if you're
looking for ways to improve it,
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we're gonna be
studying that from Word of God.
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We're glad that you joined us.
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Let's pray together, shall we,
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as we study the Word
here before we study it.
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Loving Father in heaven,
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we truly thank
You for the prayer
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which we have
to study Your Word.
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We thank You for the power
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of Thy Holy
Spirit has promised to,
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where two or three
are gathered together
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in my name.
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Lord, we just ask
for the blessing to come,
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for those need to hear,
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those who would
be encouraged by it,
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and to maybe even
save a marriage today.
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Lord, you know who it is,
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and, you know what
needs to take place,
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we leave it in your
care and your keeping.
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Ask for forgiveness of any sin,
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anything that would
separate us from heaven,
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we need to hear it from heaven.
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We need to hear
Your voice, not man's.
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May we stand
behind the word today,
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and give you praise
in Jesus' name, amen.
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Always good to have your
Bible, pencil, and paper,
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so you can jot some things down
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as we move as, you
know, fast as we can.
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Three or four
minutes already passed by
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in just kind of the opening,
and there's a lot to cover.
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I mean, how can
you really cover topic,
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subject like marriage
maybe in 45 minutes or less?
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How can you really do that?
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There's so much in scripture
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that deals with
having a marriage,
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and what marriage is all about.
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So I think no
one probably doubts
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that a marriage can
be confusing at times.
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There are things
that maybe we encountered
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that we didn't intend to,
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we didn't really
realize we would get involved,
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maybe that deeply,
or we didn't realize
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what we're gonna
get involved with?
00:10:04.63\00:10:07.20
And it can be
confusing at times.
00:10:07.24\00:10:08.70
There's this little
story, I wanna just go over,
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I thought was
very, very interesting.
00:10:10.84\00:10:12.17
And this story is
about an eight-year-old boy.
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I thought as, you
know, an eight-year-old,
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seven, eight-year-old,
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they have got things
going through their mind too.
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And this eight-year-old
boy came to his...
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We call his girlfriend.
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You know, younger and younger,
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when I was
seven, eight years old,
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if somebody said
you have a girlfriend,
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that was all,
"Oh, man, absolutely,
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there's denial every time."
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Nine and ten years
old, you have a girlfriend,
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even though I might
have, it was denial every time
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because it's like, "Well,
you're not supposed to have,
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you know, girlfriends too young,
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somebody's gonna laugh."
00:10:38.10\00:10:39.43
But this young
man had a girlfriend,
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and so he asked his
eight-year-old girlfriend.
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He said, "You know what?
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I think we
ought to get married."
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Well, you know,
two eight year olds
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deciding they're
going to get married.
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And boy, I'm telling you,
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she asked him and, you
know what she just said?
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She turned him down cold.
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Well, he couldn't
believe it, heartbroken.
00:10:57.69\00:11:00.26
"What do you mean,
you turned me down?
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I thought we could get married."
00:11:01.66\00:11:02.99
She said, "No, we
can't get married."
00:11:03.02\00:11:04.36
"Why?"
00:11:04.39\00:11:05.99
"Well, because in
my family," she said,
00:11:06.03\00:11:08.30
"Only relatives marry."
00:11:08.33\00:11:12.97
He said, "I
don't understand that.
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Only relatives
marry in your family?
00:11:15.67\00:11:17.57
What... What does that mean?"
00:11:17.61\00:11:19.04
What does that
have to do with us?
00:11:19.07\00:11:21.38
I don't understand it."
00:11:21.41\00:11:22.74
He said, "Please
explain it to me.
00:11:22.78\00:11:24.98
What do you mean by that?"
00:11:25.01\00:11:27.25
She said, "Well, if me
and you were relatives,
00:11:27.28\00:11:29.95
we could get married."
00:11:29.98\00:11:32.69
He thought, "I
still don't understand,
00:11:32.72\00:11:34.06
I need more information."
00:11:34.09\00:11:35.46
But "Since we are
not, we can't get married."
00:11:35.49\00:11:38.93
He said, "Please explain
some more of what do you mean?"
00:11:38.96\00:11:42.56
She said, "Well, in my
family, let's take for instance,
00:11:42.60\00:11:45.17
my family, my
daddy married my mother.
00:11:45.20\00:11:48.57
My grandpa married my grandma."
00:11:52.17\00:11:56.64
He said, "What?"
00:11:56.68\00:11:58.01
And she said,
"Can you believe it?
00:11:58.05\00:12:00.52
All of my uncles are,
00:12:00.55\00:12:01.92
they're all
married to my aunts."
00:12:01.95\00:12:05.09
He said, "Wow."
00:12:05.12\00:12:06.45
So you see, we're not relatives,
00:12:06.49\00:12:08.52
we can't get married.
00:12:08.56\00:12:09.92
If we were relatives, we could."
00:12:14.30\00:12:17.50
Sometimes there's
things that crop up
00:12:17.53\00:12:18.93
that we don't
quite understand in life,
00:12:18.97\00:12:21.80
and even though someone
tries to explain them to us,
00:12:21.84\00:12:23.77
we still, we haven't
quite got it together.
00:12:23.81\00:12:27.18
This was the understanding
of an eight-year-old.
00:12:27.21\00:12:31.48
This other little comment,
a couple of lines I think,
00:12:31.51\00:12:35.02
it's very, very interesting,
00:12:35.05\00:12:36.38
and this is a
wedding that took place
00:12:36.42\00:12:38.72
many, many years ago.
00:12:38.75\00:12:40.09
And I like to think in terms of,
00:12:40.12\00:12:41.79
I call myself a
hillbilly, if that's all right.
00:12:41.82\00:12:44.93
Now people say, "You come
from the south, evidently,
00:12:44.96\00:12:46.59
because you have this
draw, you have this accent."
00:12:46.63\00:12:48.46
And so it's okay,
you can call me redneck,
00:12:48.50\00:12:50.57
if you want.
00:12:50.60\00:12:51.93
Call me hillbilly if
you want, it doesn't matter.
00:12:51.97\00:12:53.30
But this kind of took
place way down in Kentucky
00:12:53.34\00:12:55.60
years and years ago.
00:12:55.64\00:12:56.97
And they had just a
little bit of an accent,
00:12:57.01\00:12:58.34
and said the words
just a little bit different,
00:12:58.37\00:13:00.44
but it was interesting.
00:13:00.48\00:13:01.81
They, there's two
people who came together,
00:13:01.84\00:13:03.81
and they wanted to get married.
00:13:03.85\00:13:05.81
And they didn't want a
long drawn out wedding,
00:13:05.85\00:13:07.72
they want to get to
the point, I do, let's...
00:13:07.75\00:13:09.88
That's it, you know.
00:13:09.92\00:13:11.25
And so they came
together, got the preacher,
00:13:11.29\00:13:13.05
and they asked the preacher,
the preacher ask the bride.
00:13:13.09\00:13:15.16
He said, "Do you take
this man for better or worse?"
00:13:15.19\00:13:19.66
Kind of interesting.
00:13:19.69\00:13:21.06
"Would you take this
man for better or worse?"
00:13:21.10\00:13:23.73
Bride said, "I
take him as he's."
00:13:23.77\00:13:29.90
Preacher said, "What?"
00:13:29.94\00:13:32.04
"I take him as he's."
00:13:32.07\00:13:35.24
He said, "What do
you mean by that?"
00:13:35.28\00:13:37.91
Bride said, "Well,
he couldn't be no worse.
00:13:37.95\00:13:42.78
And there's really no
hope of him getting any better.
00:13:42.82\00:13:46.89
So I take him as he's."
00:13:46.92\00:13:49.72
Maybe smart.
00:13:54.00\00:13:57.63
You go a lot of
different directions with that,
00:13:57.67\00:13:59.40
but sometime we take
each other as we are.
00:13:59.43\00:14:04.04
"I take him as he is."
00:14:07.18\00:14:11.71
Today, we talk
about, this subject
00:14:11.75\00:14:13.48
is so, so important.
00:14:13.52\00:14:17.35
Improve your marriage
or really to make it better
00:14:17.39\00:14:20.19
that we talked about.
00:14:20.22\00:14:23.49
Can that really take
place? A person said...
00:14:23.53\00:14:25.99
I mentioned the
other night on the program,
00:14:26.03\00:14:27.80
just made a little comment.
00:14:27.83\00:14:30.00
He said, well, person once said,
00:14:30.03\00:14:32.67
"The grass is
greener where you water it."
00:14:32.70\00:14:36.07
The grass is what?
00:14:36.10\00:14:37.61
Greener where you water it.
00:14:37.64\00:14:40.28
So I'm asking today,
00:14:40.31\00:14:41.64
maybe we should do some watering
00:14:41.68\00:14:43.75
in our own backyard.
00:14:43.78\00:14:47.48
And there's a lot of
watering that we can do.
00:14:47.52\00:14:49.35
Your grass may
be somewhat green,
00:14:49.38\00:14:51.32
and it may be okay,
00:14:51.35\00:14:52.95
as far as referring
to your marriage maybe,
00:14:52.99\00:14:55.49
but it can be greener.
00:14:55.52\00:14:57.33
It can be richer.
00:14:57.36\00:14:59.73
There's things that can be done
00:14:59.76\00:15:01.20
to make it the way God
would like for it to be.
00:15:01.23\00:15:06.80
And studying for this,
00:15:06.84\00:15:08.17
I thought, it
was very interesting.
00:15:08.20\00:15:09.54
It's found that counseling,
you know, psychoanalysis,
00:15:09.57\00:15:12.97
they call it,
you know, counseling.
00:15:13.01\00:15:14.34
Counseling is good in
a lot of, lot of areas.
00:15:14.38\00:15:16.64
You can gather a
lot of good points.
00:15:16.68\00:15:18.45
You know, I like my counsel
naturally from the Word of God.
00:15:18.48\00:15:20.95
But there's
counseling, there's things,
00:15:20.98\00:15:22.72
there's points that can
help if we can pick them
00:15:22.75\00:15:24.45
and they all gel
with the Word of God.
00:15:24.49\00:15:26.45
But you know what? We find this.
00:15:26.49\00:15:28.22
It's good, counseling is really,
00:15:28.26\00:15:29.99
it works well sometimes
00:15:30.03\00:15:31.36
for people with personal issues.
00:15:31.39\00:15:35.06
But listen to this, but
when it comes to marriage,
00:15:35.10\00:15:39.63
it's shown to be a failure.
00:15:39.67\00:15:42.00
You say, "Well,
how does that...?"
00:15:42.04\00:15:43.37
Because most people
go to marriage counselor,
00:15:43.41\00:15:45.34
they have problems in
marriage, they go to counseling.
00:15:45.37\00:15:49.18
It's interesting,
'cause it talks about divorce.
00:15:49.21\00:15:52.31
It's interesting.
00:15:52.35\00:15:53.68
How long has marriage
counseling really been around?
00:15:53.72\00:15:57.75
Well, marriage
counseling as a profession
00:15:57.79\00:16:01.02
has been around
for over 100 years.
00:16:01.06\00:16:03.12
That means where they
might get paid for it,
00:16:03.16\00:16:04.59
or that's their
job, and that's...
00:16:04.63\00:16:06.53
They're gonna help out couple
of people who can't get along.
00:16:06.56\00:16:09.36
It's been around
for a very long time,
00:16:09.40\00:16:12.03
but the divorce rate
since that's been around,
00:16:12.07\00:16:14.20
the divorce rate
has went up 300%.
00:16:14.24\00:16:17.34
Now that's my argument.
00:16:17.37\00:16:19.37
You say, "Well, counseling
is good, it's got to be,"
00:16:19.41\00:16:20.81
but why is the divorce
rate then went up 300%?
00:16:20.84\00:16:24.91
Maybe there's
something lacking, you see,
00:16:24.95\00:16:26.61
that we're looking for
today to improve our marriage,
00:16:26.65\00:16:29.98
your marriage.
00:16:30.02\00:16:33.59
How do we improve? And
how could it be improved?
00:16:33.62\00:16:35.36
Can it really be improved
00:16:35.39\00:16:36.93
and does it really
need to be improved?
00:16:36.96\00:16:38.89
Most people will say, it
does need to be improved,
00:16:38.93\00:16:40.63
even though they are having
all kind of maybe problems,
00:16:40.66\00:16:43.40
they don't want to admit that
there can be some improvement.
00:16:43.43\00:16:47.27
And when you ask
a man or a woman,
00:16:47.30\00:16:50.21
and they give their
opinion, it's interesting,
00:16:50.24\00:16:53.04
sometimes the man sees
himself completely different
00:16:53.07\00:16:55.44
than the wife sees him.
00:16:55.48\00:16:56.81
And the wife sees,
you know, vice versa.
00:16:56.85\00:17:00.02
They just see things
differently in their spouse,
00:17:00.05\00:17:04.45
they see it
differently in their marriage
00:17:04.49\00:17:06.02
they just see
things differently.
00:17:06.05\00:17:08.72
And some time, it's
really completely different,
00:17:08.76\00:17:12.49
to where there seems no way out.
00:17:12.53\00:17:15.36
I always thought,
and I always thought,
00:17:15.40\00:17:16.73
marriage is...
00:17:16.77\00:17:18.10
When you got married,
it was a happy occasion.
00:17:18.13\00:17:19.47
Everybody seemed to be
happy, everybody got dressed up.
00:17:19.50\00:17:22.17
And, you know, they
had all these goodies,
00:17:22.20\00:17:23.54
and people went,
00:17:23.57\00:17:24.91
and people were taking pictures.
00:17:24.94\00:17:26.27
And people were smiling,
and everybody wanted to go,
00:17:26.31\00:17:28.28
and people would dress alike.
00:17:28.31\00:17:29.64
And they spent a lot of money,
00:17:29.68\00:17:31.31
and it's supposed
to be a happy time.
00:17:31.35\00:17:32.68
And so as I grew up
00:17:32.71\00:17:34.05
thinking marriage
would be a happy thing.
00:17:34.08\00:17:35.42
So I wonder today,
if we're thinking about,
00:17:35.45\00:17:37.25
what did you think
about when you were young,
00:17:37.29\00:17:39.49
especially the girls.
00:17:39.52\00:17:40.86
I may not, really,
a long time in my life
00:17:40.89\00:17:43.49
I ever thought
about marriage now.
00:17:43.53\00:17:47.03
But, you know, lot of times a
lot of young ladies, the girls,
00:17:47.06\00:17:49.40
they think 7, 8, 9, 10, 11,
12, they start thinking about,
00:17:49.43\00:17:52.43
when they grow up,
and when they get married,
00:17:52.47\00:17:55.57
and how the
marriage is going to be,
00:17:55.60\00:17:57.37
and how many
children we are going to have
00:17:57.41\00:17:59.21
and they plan a lot.
00:17:59.24\00:18:03.31
Did it really turn out
the way that you planned?
00:18:03.35\00:18:06.72
Did your dream
really find fulfillment?
00:18:06.75\00:18:11.72
Sometimes,
marriages are in trouble.
00:18:11.75\00:18:15.92
And the average couple
00:18:15.96\00:18:18.56
wait at least six years
before they go to find help.
00:18:18.59\00:18:23.67
If a marriage is in trouble
00:18:23.70\00:18:25.03
in the first
year or second year,
00:18:25.07\00:18:26.97
and you're waiting six years,
00:18:27.00\00:18:28.40
there's a lot of
trouble that's built up.
00:18:28.44\00:18:31.34
But this is on an average,
six years before seeking help.
00:18:31.37\00:18:37.41
In six years,
the honeymoon phase
00:18:37.45\00:18:42.08
is probably over.
00:18:42.12\00:18:44.29
It shouldn't be,
but many times it is.
00:18:44.32\00:18:50.73
And that's where division,
separation and problems begin,
00:18:50.76\00:18:54.53
because we no longer
hold each other in esteem
00:18:54.56\00:18:56.93
as we did in the beginning.
00:18:56.97\00:19:00.17
We no longer feel the same way.
00:19:00.20\00:19:02.47
We get occupied
00:19:02.50\00:19:03.84
with a lot of
things of this world.
00:19:03.87\00:19:07.14
So the honeymoon phase
would be over for some,
00:19:07.18\00:19:12.35
and that committed
relationship that you said,
00:19:12.38\00:19:14.78
"I've committed my life
to this person has faded."
00:19:14.82\00:19:19.02
It's not like it was.
00:19:19.05\00:19:20.89
And it becomes very obvious
that there are certain problems
00:19:20.92\00:19:27.53
about sharing your
life with another person.
00:19:27.56\00:19:31.63
Your life seemed pretty simple
when you were by yourself.
00:19:31.67\00:19:33.80
Now you're sharing
it with someone else,
00:19:33.84\00:19:35.20
and you thought that
they kind of was thinking
00:19:35.24\00:19:37.41
the way that you,
00:19:37.44\00:19:39.57
you know, the way
you thought about things.
00:19:39.61\00:19:41.11
But as time goes on,
00:19:41.14\00:19:43.28
all of a sudden
thoughts are different,
00:19:43.31\00:19:45.41
going down other roads,
00:19:45.45\00:19:49.42
and you begin to
say, I begin to say,
00:19:49.45\00:19:51.52
she begins,
somebody begins to say,
00:19:51.55\00:19:53.05
we're thinking a
whole lot different
00:19:53.09\00:19:54.66
than we used to.
00:19:54.69\00:19:57.66
See, Paul speaks to the church
00:19:57.69\00:19:59.19
in this verse in
1 Corinthians 10,
00:19:59.23\00:20:01.10
if you have your
Bible, 1 Corinthians 1:10,
00:20:01.13\00:20:05.17
he's speaking to the
church, but I want you to know
00:20:05.20\00:20:07.17
how this can speak to
your life and my life.
00:20:07.20\00:20:09.77
Remember, we have to
think about the Word of God.
00:20:09.80\00:20:12.11
There's a lot of people
in the world that they say,
00:20:12.14\00:20:14.08
they have a happy
marriage, it's a good marriage,
00:20:14.11\00:20:16.75
they don't have God in
it, you wonder how it can be?
00:20:16.78\00:20:19.91
But yet, is it how God
would have that marriage to be.
00:20:19.95\00:20:23.39
Can you have a real
marriage without God in it
00:20:23.42\00:20:25.62
and following God's counsel?
00:20:25.65\00:20:27.32
This is the big challenge.
00:20:27.36\00:20:29.36
We need God's Word,
we need His counsel.
00:20:29.39\00:20:32.59
This is where we
go for counseling,
00:20:32.63\00:20:34.40
but notice this
verse that Paul talks about
00:20:34.43\00:20:37.00
in 1 Corinthians 1:10,
00:20:37.03\00:20:40.77
he says, "Now I
beseech you, brethren,
00:20:40.80\00:20:42.54
by the name of
our Lord Jesus Christ,
00:20:42.57\00:20:45.01
that ye all," what?
00:20:45.04\00:20:46.88
"Speak the same thing,
00:20:46.91\00:20:50.08
that there would be
no divisions among you,
00:20:50.11\00:20:52.41
but that ye be
perfectly joined together
00:20:52.45\00:20:56.25
in the same mind and
in the same judgment."
00:20:56.28\00:21:00.09
We realized where
his mind was going,
00:21:00.12\00:21:01.92
and he was talking as
to the church as a group.
00:21:01.96\00:21:04.59
But I think individually,
00:21:04.63\00:21:07.00
if you want to
improve your relationship,
00:21:07.03\00:21:08.70
or your marriage,
00:21:08.73\00:21:10.07
or relationship
with one another,
00:21:10.10\00:21:12.03
or your friends,
00:21:12.07\00:21:13.40
this would be good
counsel to follow right here.
00:21:13.44\00:21:15.84
Sometime we need to be speaking,
00:21:15.87\00:21:17.31
especially in the marriage,
00:21:17.34\00:21:18.67
we need to be
speaking the same thing.
00:21:18.71\00:21:21.38
There needs to be no
division in the home,
00:21:21.41\00:21:23.31
you can have no division
00:21:23.35\00:21:24.68
when it comes to
raising children.
00:21:24.71\00:21:26.45
You can't have division
00:21:26.48\00:21:27.82
when it comes to
likes and dislikes,
00:21:27.85\00:21:29.28
and where he goes
and where she goes,
00:21:29.32\00:21:30.99
there has to be
some kind of a unity
00:21:31.02\00:21:32.55
that comes together in this
00:21:32.59\00:21:34.02
so that things
can be worked out,
00:21:34.06\00:21:35.69
that would be pleasing.
00:21:35.72\00:21:37.06
And that can
happen if we have the,
00:21:37.09\00:21:38.83
if we're joined together,
00:21:38.86\00:21:40.26
and we have the same mind,
00:21:40.30\00:21:41.63
and wind up
having the same judgment.
00:21:41.66\00:21:44.60
That sound like
perfection, doesn't it?
00:21:44.63\00:21:46.70
We need that.
00:21:46.74\00:21:48.07
Think about in a marriage,
00:21:48.10\00:21:49.44
if we had this
very same judgment
00:21:49.47\00:21:53.01
that your companion had,
00:21:53.04\00:21:54.91
if you had the same mind,
00:21:54.94\00:21:56.44
boy, it'd be easy to get along
with yourself, wouldn't it?
00:21:56.48\00:21:59.21
Somebody's not getting it?
00:21:59.25\00:22:02.55
Think about it, it'd be like
getting along with your likes
00:22:02.58\00:22:04.79
and your dislikes,
00:22:04.82\00:22:06.15
because we're
thinking the same here.
00:22:06.19\00:22:08.09
We live in an age of change,
00:22:12.46\00:22:15.53
and we realized in
this age of change,
00:22:15.56\00:22:18.03
as longer that we're single,
00:22:18.07\00:22:20.77
longer that we're
not joined together,
00:22:20.80\00:22:22.87
we become more and all...
00:22:22.90\00:22:24.41
This is for... This is
for all of us right here.
00:22:24.44\00:22:27.14
A change becomes more difficult.
00:22:27.18\00:22:29.54
The older I get,
change becomes more difficult.
00:22:29.58\00:22:32.81
Does that sound
like a fact? It is.
00:22:32.85\00:22:35.08
Because we
become more established
00:22:35.12\00:22:36.99
in what we've been doing
and how we've been doing it
00:22:37.02\00:22:38.85
for so long that you think
00:22:38.89\00:22:40.22
this is the normal
way in which to do it.
00:22:40.26\00:22:42.19
So change becomes difficult.
00:22:42.22\00:22:45.33
That means that
even sharing things
00:22:45.36\00:22:47.86
become more difficult,
00:22:47.90\00:22:49.23
because we haven't had to share.
00:22:49.26\00:22:52.97
It becomes more
difficult for us.
00:22:53.00\00:22:56.57
The longer I live,
sometime, and I say opinions,
00:22:56.60\00:22:59.31
and we love our opinions.
00:22:59.34\00:23:00.68
Opinion is not
good of ourselves,
00:23:00.71\00:23:02.04
it's what the Bible has
to say about the subject.
00:23:02.08\00:23:04.71
A lot of time we
just say our opinion
00:23:04.75\00:23:06.18
based upon surely
a Word of God here.
00:23:06.21\00:23:07.98
Our opinion sometime become,
boy, I'm telling you, ooh,
00:23:08.02\00:23:11.72
stronger as we go along.
00:23:11.75\00:23:14.99
If we're not used to sharing
those things and we simply...
00:23:15.02\00:23:17.99
Bottom line, we say,
I simply want it my way.
00:23:18.03\00:23:24.73
I want it my way.
00:23:24.77\00:23:26.10
Keep in mind, people who wait,
we've mentioned, keep in mind,
00:23:28.94\00:23:32.17
people who wait
at least six years
00:23:32.21\00:23:34.68
before seeking help,
00:23:34.71\00:23:37.48
keep this in mind,
and all notice this,
00:23:37.51\00:23:39.65
half of all marriages
end in the first seven years.
00:23:39.68\00:23:44.92
Did you get it?
00:23:44.95\00:23:46.29
Half of all marriages
end in the first seven years.
00:23:46.32\00:23:51.46
And what?
00:23:51.49\00:23:52.83
We are waiting six years
before we try to get help,
00:23:52.86\00:23:56.77
and sometimes
that's way too late.
00:23:56.80\00:24:00.07
That must be kept in mind.
00:24:00.10\00:24:03.84
God thus created us I
believe as I've studied this,
00:24:03.87\00:24:06.44
He created us to
be social creatures.
00:24:06.47\00:24:10.21
Is that true?
00:24:10.25\00:24:11.58
God created us to
be social creatures,
00:24:11.61\00:24:13.62
because the
Bible in Genesis 2:18,
00:24:13.65\00:24:16.89
the Bible is very clear.
00:24:16.92\00:24:18.25
I love this because
as God had created Adam
00:24:18.29\00:24:21.12
and He put him there,
00:24:21.16\00:24:22.49
I think He noticed
that there were something
00:24:22.52\00:24:23.93
like God knew
that there would be.
00:24:23.96\00:24:26.29
There's no
surprises with God, is there?
00:24:26.33\00:24:28.76
And the Bible simply
says here, Genesis 2:18,
00:24:28.80\00:24:31.93
"It is not good
that man should," what?
00:24:31.97\00:24:35.20
"Live alone.
00:24:35.24\00:24:36.57
I will make for him," what?
00:24:36.60\00:24:38.17
"I'll make a help
meet." Notice that.
00:24:38.21\00:24:42.31
God said, "It's not
good for man to live alone."
00:24:42.34\00:24:45.61
It's not good
and that's mankind.
00:24:45.65\00:24:47.52
That's women, that's
men, that's everybody.
00:24:47.55\00:24:49.48
Not to live
alone, God made us social
00:24:49.52\00:24:51.25
so we could
share with one another,
00:24:51.29\00:24:52.62
learn from one another.
00:24:52.65\00:24:56.06
He meant for
there to be marriage,
00:24:56.09\00:25:00.06
but He said, "I'm going to
make for Adam a help meet,"
00:25:00.10\00:25:02.56
and that's interesting.
00:25:02.60\00:25:03.93
That simply
means, help meet there
00:25:03.97\00:25:05.77
in the original language,
00:25:05.80\00:25:07.14
I'm going to
make an aid for him.
00:25:07.17\00:25:09.54
Why would a man need
aid? Because men need aid.
00:25:09.57\00:25:13.98
Somebody not with me.
00:25:14.01\00:25:17.21
Well, we got an amen out there,
00:25:17.25\00:25:18.65
but we'll wait should
you turn after a while.
00:25:18.68\00:25:23.42
Man needs help.
That's what a helper.
00:25:23.45\00:25:27.29
God says, "I'm going
to 'cause he needs help."
00:25:27.32\00:25:29.22
And man need help.
00:25:29.26\00:25:32.53
And the other part of
that help meet is, God said,
00:25:32.56\00:25:34.70
"I'm going to make a something
that will surround you."
00:25:34.73\00:25:39.27
See, men need to be
surrounded sometime,
00:25:39.30\00:25:42.77
and surrounded by
somebody who cares,
00:25:42.80\00:25:44.34
surrounded by love,
00:25:44.37\00:25:45.71
and you know, you're surrounded,
00:25:45.74\00:25:47.08
you voluntarily
accept that naturally,
00:25:47.11\00:25:49.88
but I'm gonna make a
surround for you, Kenny,
00:25:49.91\00:25:51.35
because you're gonna need it.
00:25:51.38\00:25:53.25
But how nice that is,
how thoughtful God is to us,
00:25:53.28\00:25:57.02
to each of us.
00:25:57.05\00:25:59.35
But you know, I
think down deep all of us,
00:25:59.39\00:26:02.62
have desire to find.
00:26:02.66\00:26:03.99
And we're thinking about
00:26:04.03\00:26:05.36
maybe those who are
looking for a husband or wife,
00:26:05.39\00:26:07.96
down deep, I think all
of us that thought about
00:26:08.00\00:26:10.27
one time or the other desire...
00:26:10.30\00:26:12.23
We want to find
the one perfect person,
00:26:12.27\00:26:16.24
the one perfect person,
00:26:16.27\00:26:17.61
the one that we
should have been praying
00:26:17.64\00:26:18.97
about a long time ago, right?
00:26:19.01\00:26:21.08
One wishes that
God's opening the doors,
00:26:21.11\00:26:22.91
but we want that
one perfect person
00:26:22.94\00:26:24.85
to spend the rest of
our lives with, we just...
00:26:24.88\00:26:26.92
We'd like to have it that way.
00:26:26.95\00:26:28.35
And, you know,
00:26:28.38\00:26:29.72
on some
occasions it seems though,
00:26:29.75\00:26:31.39
that some people find them,
00:26:31.42\00:26:35.06
did you notice that some
people seems to find them here.
00:26:35.09\00:26:37.66
And then, you know,
00:26:37.69\00:26:39.03
they find that
mate at first glance,
00:26:39.06\00:26:42.53
seems a little
different in my thinking.
00:26:42.56\00:26:44.67
But they say, the first
glance I went to some...
00:26:44.70\00:26:48.37
I went someplace and
I looked across the room
00:26:48.40\00:26:50.54
and I saw this person
00:26:50.57\00:26:51.91
and I knew right then and there,
00:26:51.94\00:26:53.54
they were to be my
husband or my wife.
00:26:53.58\00:26:56.88
Wow! Oh, man,
that's first glance.
00:26:56.91\00:27:01.08
And then you meet
00:27:01.12\00:27:02.65
and you come
together and all of a sudden,
00:27:02.68\00:27:04.29
you're talking
about the same things
00:27:04.32\00:27:05.89
and you have the same desires.
00:27:05.92\00:27:07.39
You have the same outlook,
00:27:07.42\00:27:09.12
you know,
everything seems to gel.
00:27:09.16\00:27:11.06
It seemed like you've
known each other all your life.
00:27:11.09\00:27:14.46
And some people just simply
say, "I found my soul mate."
00:27:14.50\00:27:17.70
I don't know if you've ever...
00:27:17.73\00:27:19.07
You've heard of that,
"I found my soul mate."
00:27:19.10\00:27:20.84
It was just like,
then you're thinking,
00:27:20.87\00:27:22.20
"Well, how can
it be so quick, man?
00:27:22.24\00:27:23.57
It took us six
years, took us five,
00:27:23.61\00:27:24.94
you know, took us a while."
00:27:24.97\00:27:26.54
But really what makes
people really compatible?
00:27:31.41\00:27:35.42
Is there something
in the Word of God?
00:27:35.45\00:27:36.82
Is there something
out there that we say
00:27:36.85\00:27:38.42
that makes us compatible
00:27:38.45\00:27:39.79
so that we can
live with each other?
00:27:39.82\00:27:42.19
We can gel with each other,
00:27:42.22\00:27:44.79
the life could be
happy for each other
00:27:44.83\00:27:46.66
and all those around us.
00:27:46.70\00:27:48.16
To be compatible for marriage.
00:27:52.43\00:27:55.70
Well, I've heard this,
00:27:55.74\00:27:57.07
people say, "I'm
looking for a wife.
00:27:57.11\00:27:58.44
So what are you doing?"
00:27:58.47\00:27:59.81
Well, sometimes
they go to wrong places.
00:27:59.84\00:28:02.04
Others, I've heard this a lot
00:28:02.08\00:28:03.48
and an
advertisement made people go to,
00:28:03.51\00:28:06.28
I call just a website.
00:28:06.31\00:28:08.95
They get on there
on their computers
00:28:08.98\00:28:10.32
and they fill out
little questionnaires.
00:28:10.35\00:28:12.99
And they write all
their information on there
00:28:13.02\00:28:15.29
and they're hoping
00:28:15.32\00:28:17.66
that somebody on the other
end will take that questionnaire
00:28:17.69\00:28:20.53
and all those questions,
00:28:20.56\00:28:21.90
and then
somebody else sends one in
00:28:21.93\00:28:23.26
and they're
going to look at this
00:28:23.30\00:28:24.80
and they're going to
look at that and say,
00:28:24.83\00:28:26.17
these two are a match.
00:28:26.20\00:28:29.84
We're gonna match them up.
00:28:29.87\00:28:32.01
Well, matched up on what?
00:28:32.04\00:28:33.98
On things they have in common.
00:28:34.01\00:28:36.41
That's what they say, well,
we have in common, we can last.
00:28:36.44\00:28:38.88
Sounds good,
00:28:38.91\00:28:40.25
but how long do these
relationships really last?
00:28:40.28\00:28:44.05
How long do they
really last that,
00:28:44.09\00:28:45.85
you know, they may have
things that are similar,
00:28:45.89\00:28:48.72
our interests are similar,
00:28:48.76\00:28:50.23
our little quirks that
everybody probably has.
00:28:50.26\00:28:54.73
Will it really last?
00:28:59.43\00:29:02.10
Well, one survey was done
on a couple married for years.
00:29:02.14\00:29:05.27
Here's what they said about,
00:29:05.31\00:29:06.64
they said that the compatibility
00:29:06.68\00:29:08.91
wasn't an issue.
00:29:08.94\00:29:10.65
I always thought you
need to be compatible.
00:29:10.68\00:29:13.78
So this person said,
00:29:13.82\00:29:16.15
"Compatibility was
really not the issue."
00:29:16.18\00:29:19.12
They said what made
their marriage work was them.
00:29:19.15\00:29:24.33
Just think, don't close it off.
00:29:24.36\00:29:28.20
They say, "We as a
couple made the marriage work
00:29:28.23\00:29:32.33
when there was differences."
00:29:32.37\00:29:35.70
It was not the compatibility
of their personalities,
00:29:35.74\00:29:40.51
but we worked at it.
00:29:40.54\00:29:43.78
They said their relationship...
00:29:43.81\00:29:45.51
Notice it, they said,
00:29:45.55\00:29:46.88
"Our relationship to one another
00:29:46.92\00:29:48.35
after years of marriage was,"
00:29:48.38\00:29:51.15
here's how they said it,
00:29:51.19\00:29:52.52
"sheer power of
their willingness
00:29:52.55\00:29:55.66
to have a good marriage."
00:29:55.69\00:29:59.79
Now you might look
at it little different.
00:29:59.83\00:30:01.93
This is their thought,
00:30:01.96\00:30:03.87
we can make it work
00:30:03.90\00:30:05.53
and we're going to make it work.
00:30:05.57\00:30:07.37
Three things they said,
00:30:07.40\00:30:08.74
"We want to have
a good marriage,"
00:30:08.77\00:30:10.11
number one.
00:30:10.14\00:30:11.47
Number two,
00:30:11.51\00:30:13.38
"We want to stay
in that relationship,"
00:30:13.41\00:30:15.24
number two.
00:30:15.28\00:30:16.61
Number three, they said,
one way in which to do it,
00:30:16.64\00:30:19.11
number three is
simply always, notice this,
00:30:19.15\00:30:21.62
and this is where
division comes and separation.
00:30:21.65\00:30:24.12
"We need to be concerned,
00:30:24.15\00:30:25.49
always be
concerned about the happiness
00:30:25.52\00:30:27.82
of the other more
than we're concerned
00:30:27.86\00:30:29.52
about our own happiness."
00:30:29.56\00:30:31.13
Now that takes
a selfless person.
00:30:31.16\00:30:34.90
Because we're born selfish,
00:30:34.93\00:30:36.77
it's hard to
get selfishness out.
00:30:36.80\00:30:38.63
And like I said,
longer lot of times
00:30:38.67\00:30:40.00
that we're by our
self or do whatever, dido,
00:30:40.04\00:30:42.37
we become more selfish.
00:30:42.40\00:30:45.24
God wants to social,
again, so we can share,
00:30:45.27\00:30:47.01
we'd be around others
and we learned to share
00:30:47.04\00:30:48.74
and to do, that's why tithing,
00:30:48.78\00:30:50.35
isn't it one of the things?
00:30:50.38\00:30:53.68
That God ordained it
00:30:53.72\00:30:55.05
so that we will
not become selfish,
00:30:55.08\00:30:57.59
that we will learn
to give, learn to share.
00:30:57.62\00:31:01.92
So I thought that was
just, it was interesting here,
00:31:01.96\00:31:04.36
always concerned.
00:31:04.39\00:31:05.73
Think about how many
arguments you would have
00:31:05.76\00:31:07.50
and
disagreements you would have,
00:31:07.53\00:31:09.10
if every time you were concerned
00:31:09.13\00:31:10.57
about the other one
being happy instead of worrying
00:31:10.60\00:31:12.33
about you being happy.
00:31:12.37\00:31:16.04
Probably most of us
wouldn't, they wouldn't be.
00:31:16.07\00:31:20.94
Because it's difficult
to get self out of the way.
00:31:20.98\00:31:24.18
That's life, and we need help.
00:31:24.21\00:31:27.98
But really, if
you want to improve
00:31:28.02\00:31:29.72
your marriage,
00:31:29.75\00:31:31.09
we have to
think along this line.
00:31:31.12\00:31:32.52
And so what we
can think about this.
00:31:32.55\00:31:34.79
One man said this,
00:31:34.82\00:31:36.16
I thought it was
very interesting.
00:31:36.19\00:31:37.53
He said, how a
couple, in other words, well,
00:31:37.56\00:31:40.20
his marriage has gotten...
00:31:40.23\00:31:41.56
For years they've been married
00:31:41.60\00:31:42.93
and they've had a good marriage.
00:31:42.96\00:31:44.30
He said this,
00:31:44.33\00:31:45.67
"How a couple interacts
00:31:45.70\00:31:47.80
is the single
most fundamental aspect
00:31:47.84\00:31:51.14
to create a
successful relationship
00:31:51.17\00:31:53.51
or marriage."
00:31:53.54\00:31:55.34
Did anybody get that?
00:31:55.38\00:31:56.91
How the couple
reacts to each other?
00:31:56.95\00:32:02.25
And then someone questioned
him a little bit more, and said,
00:32:02.28\00:32:03.95
"What do you mean
how a couple reacts?"
00:32:03.99\00:32:07.82
And he gave six things I
thought was very interesting.
00:32:07.86\00:32:10.96
Things like,
00:32:10.99\00:32:12.66
now listen to this,
this is true, this is true.
00:32:12.69\00:32:14.93
I understand it well
00:32:14.96\00:32:17.03
and still fall short many times,
00:32:17.07\00:32:18.60
and maybe you might
look at today and say,
00:32:18.63\00:32:20.34
"Well, I understand that too."
00:32:20.37\00:32:21.90
This man said here, he said,
00:32:21.94\00:32:23.71
"It's how you speak
and react to each other."
00:32:23.74\00:32:28.08
If you want a healthy
marriage, you have to be...
00:32:30.75\00:32:33.42
You have to recognize,
00:32:33.45\00:32:34.78
you have to be very
careful how you speak
00:32:34.82\00:32:36.95
and how you react to the other.
00:32:36.99\00:32:40.52
I thought that's a good one.
00:32:40.56\00:32:43.56
Two,
00:32:43.59\00:32:44.96
just simply how
well you get along.
00:32:44.99\00:32:47.50
Do you get along or
you're fussing all the time?
00:32:47.53\00:32:50.73
How well do you
really get along?
00:32:50.77\00:32:53.97
Number three, he said,
00:32:54.00\00:32:55.60
"It's how you move
through life together
00:32:55.64\00:33:00.31
in making adjustments."
00:33:00.34\00:33:02.24
See, marriage is what?
00:33:02.28\00:33:03.98
It's moving
through life together.
00:33:04.01\00:33:06.01
You're changing, she's changing,
00:33:06.05\00:33:08.95
you know, the marriage,
life is changing, the children,
00:33:08.98\00:33:11.75
grandchildren, things,
everything is changing.
00:33:11.79\00:33:14.12
And it's how
you make adjustments
00:33:14.16\00:33:15.92
to those changes to
whether your marriage
00:33:15.96\00:33:17.89
will be improved
or maybe it won't be
00:33:17.93\00:33:19.69
what it should be.
00:33:19.73\00:33:21.23
I think that
just makes good sense.
00:33:21.26\00:33:24.20
We have to make adjustments
00:33:24.23\00:33:27.34
and we're not ought
to and we should not
00:33:27.37\00:33:29.00
as husband and wife
00:33:29.04\00:33:30.37
try to worry about
pleasing somebody else
00:33:30.41\00:33:33.31
rather than your mate.
00:33:33.34\00:33:34.68
God first and then your
mate, and then it works down.
00:33:34.71\00:33:38.28
That's the way
that the Bible says
00:33:38.31\00:33:40.02
very clearly how it's
supposed to be put in.
00:33:40.05\00:33:42.82
Because when you
leave your mate out
00:33:42.85\00:33:44.19
and you're
making other decisions
00:33:44.22\00:33:45.55
and choices over
here, it's not a good thing.
00:33:45.59\00:33:48.59
It's not a good
healthy marriage at all.
00:33:48.62\00:33:52.16
Four, he said,
this is interesting too.
00:33:52.19\00:33:54.33
"In a marriage, if
you want to improve it,
00:33:54.36\00:33:56.36
really how have you
been supporting each other?"
00:33:56.40\00:34:00.24
Do you support each other
00:34:00.27\00:34:01.94
in the things
that they're doing?
00:34:01.97\00:34:03.41
Or is it that you might
feel, as I just mentioned,
00:34:07.11\00:34:09.04
that maybe you're caught
00:34:09.08\00:34:10.41
in the middle of
something sometime,
00:34:10.45\00:34:12.81
and you're almost forced
to make another decision.
00:34:12.85\00:34:15.52
The husband and the
wife must first of all
00:34:15.55\00:34:17.62
consider among themselves,
00:34:17.65\00:34:20.19
what decision needs to
be made for their marriage.
00:34:20.22\00:34:24.19
And what is best?
00:34:24.23\00:34:27.03
How well do you support that?
00:34:27.06\00:34:28.73
How well do you move
through life together?
00:34:28.76\00:34:30.63
And a couple of others I
thought was very, very good.
00:34:30.67\00:34:32.77
He said, "We need
to admire each other."
00:34:32.80\00:34:37.21
Two words I look at, he said,
"We need to admire each other."
00:34:37.24\00:34:40.21
And number three, R-E-S-P-E-C-T.
00:34:40.24\00:34:44.38
Somebody's not with me.
00:34:44.41\00:34:46.65
I'll tell you
what it is, respect.
00:34:46.68\00:34:49.18
You have to have respect.
00:34:49.22\00:34:50.99
I said admire,
00:34:51.02\00:34:52.35
what do you mean in relationship
00:34:52.39\00:34:53.72
you need to admire
the other, the others.
00:34:53.76\00:34:55.66
That means you have to have
high regard for that person.
00:34:55.69\00:34:57.56
If you don't have
high regard for that person
00:34:57.59\00:34:59.09
that you're going with
00:34:59.13\00:35:00.46
and thinking about
getting married to that person,
00:35:00.50\00:35:02.06
you need to think again.
00:35:02.10\00:35:04.20
Hope that makes sense,
00:35:04.23\00:35:06.53
if you don't have
high regard for them.
00:35:06.57\00:35:10.24
And really he is
talking about, admire her,
00:35:10.27\00:35:11.87
means, simply to like.
00:35:11.91\00:35:14.64
You can't say you love
someone and you don't like them.
00:35:14.68\00:35:17.68
I've heard people say that.
00:35:17.71\00:35:20.22
It's reverse,
00:35:20.25\00:35:22.25
you have to be able to
hold that person in high esteem,
00:35:22.28\00:35:25.15
not cutting them
down all the time,
00:35:25.19\00:35:26.79
not beating and banging on them,
00:35:26.82\00:35:28.16
but simply hold
them in high esteem.
00:35:28.19\00:35:31.36
That's admire.
00:35:31.39\00:35:32.83
And then the word respect,
that means to show honor,
00:35:32.86\00:35:37.03
show honor or esteem.
00:35:37.07\00:35:39.00
Show some consideration for.
00:35:39.03\00:35:43.30
And then the thought came
up with one individual said,
00:35:43.34\00:35:45.41
"Yeah, but you know, you
don't just respect a person
00:35:45.44\00:35:47.78
because you're
told to respect them.
00:35:47.81\00:35:51.01
You respect them
00:35:51.05\00:35:52.38
because they're
worthy of that respect."
00:35:52.41\00:35:56.85
And I think, well,
how far does that go?
00:35:56.89\00:36:01.42
They said,
00:36:01.46\00:36:03.93
in a survey that these
things fit into respect.
00:36:03.96\00:36:08.96
Number one, good reputation.
00:36:09.00\00:36:12.93
A good reputation.
00:36:12.97\00:36:14.30
Does your spouse, does
the one you're looking at,
00:36:14.34\00:36:15.94
they have a good reputation?
00:36:15.97\00:36:18.37
Maybe depends
on how you talk to.
00:36:18.41\00:36:20.94
And the second one I
thought I was interested,
00:36:20.98\00:36:23.75
you need to look
at this part here as,
00:36:23.78\00:36:26.38
is he or she decent.
00:36:26.41\00:36:28.92
I thought I used to hear
that growing up all the time,
00:36:28.95\00:36:30.62
"Well, are they decent?"
00:36:30.65\00:36:34.12
I have heard people say,
when they knock on the door,
00:36:34.16\00:36:35.49
they say, "You decent?
00:36:35.52\00:36:36.86
Can I come in?"
00:36:36.89\00:36:38.89
Somebody didn't get that.
00:36:38.93\00:36:42.13
Are you decent?
00:36:42.16\00:36:43.73
Yeah, you close on so and so,
00:36:43.77\00:36:45.33
kind of come on in
the house or whatever,
00:36:45.37\00:36:46.84
you decent.
00:36:46.87\00:36:49.10
So your spouse
00:36:49.14\00:36:50.47
that when you're thinking
about or getting married,
00:36:50.51\00:36:51.91
well, they need to
be a decent person,
00:36:51.94\00:36:54.24
that means reasonable.
00:36:54.28\00:36:58.18
And it's
interesting one word he said,
00:36:58.21\00:36:59.65
just adequate.
00:36:59.68\00:37:01.02
I mean, that's not
giving much credit,
00:37:01.05\00:37:02.38
but are they adequate?
00:37:02.42\00:37:05.69
Are they fair?
00:37:05.72\00:37:07.06
Number three, he
said, "Are they honest?"
00:37:07.09\00:37:08.86
Number four, "Are they good?"
00:37:08.89\00:37:12.16
Five, "Are they presentable?"
00:37:12.19\00:37:15.53
Are they somebody
that you can present
00:37:15.56\00:37:17.10
to mom and dad?
00:37:17.13\00:37:19.53
Are you ashamed and embarrassed
00:37:19.57\00:37:22.30
that you still want to
spend your life with them?
00:37:22.34\00:37:24.57
You might want to think again.
00:37:24.61\00:37:26.11
Six, "Are they
responsible person?"
00:37:26.14\00:37:29.78
Somebody you
want to get married,
00:37:29.81\00:37:31.15
they need to be responsible.
00:37:31.18\00:37:32.51
They need to take responsibility
00:37:32.55\00:37:34.38
for what's getting
ready to take place,
00:37:34.42\00:37:35.75
or if it is already taken place,
00:37:35.78\00:37:38.29
you still have
that responsibility.
00:37:38.32\00:37:40.46
Even though you've
been married for 40 years,
00:37:40.49\00:37:41.89
you still need
to be presentable,
00:37:41.92\00:37:44.16
you still need
to be responsible,
00:37:44.19\00:37:45.83
you still need to be good.
00:37:45.86\00:37:47.43
You need to be good,
have a good reputation.
00:37:47.46\00:37:49.30
You need to be
decent, you need to be honest.
00:37:49.33\00:37:51.90
And number seven, you
need to be dependable.
00:37:51.93\00:37:54.40
Nothing's worse than, mate,
00:37:54.44\00:37:55.77
trying to deal with
somebody who's not dependable.
00:37:55.80\00:37:58.47
Hello.
00:37:58.51\00:37:59.87
Isn't that true?
00:37:59.91\00:38:01.24
Pretty frustrating.
00:38:01.28\00:38:02.61
I've heard, they said,
"In order to love someone,
00:38:05.41\00:38:08.28
you must first basically
admire and respect them."
00:38:08.32\00:38:13.69
Did you get it?
00:38:13.72\00:38:15.06
In order to love
someone the way we should,
00:38:15.09\00:38:16.66
you first must admire
and respect that person.
00:38:16.69\00:38:21.33
You know, like
that person as it were.
00:38:21.36\00:38:23.80
If you can't admire,
if you can't respect,
00:38:23.83\00:38:26.43
if you can't trust a person,
00:38:26.47\00:38:29.40
you know, can you
really love them enough
00:38:29.44\00:38:31.24
to spend all your life with,
or are you asking for trouble?
00:38:31.27\00:38:35.81
How does the Word of God
00:38:35.84\00:38:37.18
really fit into
improving your marriage here?
00:38:37.21\00:38:41.75
Can a marriage really be
what it should be without God?
00:38:41.78\00:38:45.85
Turn with me, if you will,
in 1 Corinthians Chapter 13.
00:38:45.89\00:38:48.82
1 Corinthians Chapter 13,
00:38:48.86\00:38:50.49
we'll read just a couple
of quick verses down here.
00:38:50.53\00:38:52.53
You know this chapter well,
00:38:52.56\00:38:54.46
I'm sure you
read it all the time.
00:38:54.50\00:38:55.83
We've been
encouraged to read it every day,
00:38:55.86\00:38:57.67
and there's reason for that.
00:38:57.73\00:39:00.00
1 Corinthians Chapter 13,
I'm gonna read verse 4 quickly,
00:39:00.04\00:39:04.27
13:4.
00:39:04.31\00:39:05.87
Here's what the Bible says,
00:39:05.91\00:39:08.54
"Charity suffereth long,
00:39:08.58\00:39:09.94
and is kind,
charity envieth not,
00:39:09.98\00:39:13.45
charity vaunteth not
itself, is not puffed up..."
00:39:13.48\00:39:16.99
Then we know charity is what?
00:39:17.02\00:39:18.99
Certainly as charity is love.
00:39:19.02\00:39:20.46
First eight, skip on down.
00:39:20.49\00:39:21.82
They're all good,
you can read them all,
00:39:21.86\00:39:23.19
but it says,
"Charity never faileth,
00:39:23.22\00:39:24.89
but whether there be prophecies,
00:39:24.93\00:39:27.23
they shall fail,
00:39:27.26\00:39:28.60
whether there be
tongues, they shall cease,
00:39:28.63\00:39:31.07
whether there be
knowledge, it shall," what?
00:39:31.10\00:39:34.04
"Vanish away."
00:39:34.07\00:39:35.40
And verse 13 down quickly,
"And now abideth," what?
00:39:35.44\00:39:38.71
"Faith, hope,
charity, these three,
00:39:38.74\00:39:41.94
but the greatest of
these is charity or love."
00:39:41.98\00:39:45.38
Just remember, you read
that from the earliest time
00:39:45.41\00:39:47.28
I'm sure, but this is
very heavy duty right here.
00:39:47.32\00:39:51.92
Think about it,
this gives as we read...
00:39:51.95\00:39:54.62
If you read 1 Corinthians 13,
00:39:54.66\00:39:55.99
it gives to me a true
definition of real love,
00:39:56.02\00:40:00.03
of lasting love.
00:40:00.06\00:40:01.73
A love that will
improve your marriage
00:40:01.76\00:40:04.03
beyond maybe what
you thought it could be.
00:40:04.07\00:40:07.27
If we read that as we
counsel every day of our life
00:40:07.30\00:40:09.97
and apply it to
us and not your mate.
00:40:10.01\00:40:13.54
Apply it to self.
00:40:13.58\00:40:15.84
See, Paul in 1 Corinthians
13, he analyzes this.
00:40:15.88\00:40:19.21
I like the way
he analyzes things,
00:40:19.25\00:40:20.58
sometimes it gets a little deep,
00:40:20.62\00:40:21.95
may be hard to understand.
00:40:21.98\00:40:23.32
But it begins to
analyze what love is.
00:40:23.35\00:40:26.09
It's the characteristics
that's found in everyone
00:40:26.12\00:40:28.89
who truly loves.
00:40:28.92\00:40:30.49
The word love in this
world is so out of proportion,
00:40:30.53\00:40:34.96
it's nowhere near being right.
00:40:35.00\00:40:37.07
When they say love,
they say they love everyone,
00:40:37.10\00:40:38.87
we love... Well,
we love you, brother.
00:40:38.90\00:40:40.34
We love you...
00:40:40.37\00:40:41.70
First opportunity they get,
00:40:41.74\00:40:43.07
they're
stabbing you in the back,
00:40:43.10\00:40:44.44
they're saying,
gossiping, backbiting,
00:40:44.47\00:40:45.81
doing all kind of thing.
00:40:45.84\00:40:47.18
Paul here is doing
the characteristics
00:40:47.21\00:40:48.54
of what true love
is and he points it out
00:40:48.58\00:40:50.48
in a beautiful way.
00:40:50.51\00:40:51.95
He said, "One who
loves, a person who loves,
00:40:51.98\00:40:54.45
see if you
qualify, see if I qualify,
00:40:54.48\00:40:57.12
or if there's room for
me to grow in this area.
00:40:57.15\00:41:00.52
Person who loves is
always seeking to reveal,
00:41:00.56\00:41:03.02
feel..."
00:41:03.06\00:41:04.39
Notice this, "Reveal
it in word and deed."
00:41:04.43\00:41:07.33
When you say you love someone,
00:41:07.36\00:41:08.70
you're always
seeking to do what?
00:41:08.73\00:41:11.40
To reveal that love and what?
00:41:11.43\00:41:13.30
Not just, oh, I love,
I love, I love, I love.
00:41:13.34\00:41:15.77
Sometimes people
need to be like, grab up
00:41:15.80\00:41:17.67
and shake just a little bit
00:41:17.71\00:41:19.04
and say quit talking about
it and do something about it.
00:41:19.07\00:41:21.08
Think about it.
00:41:24.45\00:41:26.21
Love, they're
saying it is cheap,
00:41:26.25\00:41:28.55
but when we really
love we're gonna be doing
00:41:28.58\00:41:30.69
little things all the time,
it says we, it tells we love.
00:41:30.72\00:41:37.13
They always care
when you really love,
00:41:37.16\00:41:38.66
you care about the
feelings of others,
00:41:38.69\00:41:42.43
you try to promote
happiness, not sadness.
00:41:42.46\00:41:45.90
1 Peter 3:8 points it out.
00:41:45.93\00:41:47.30
We can't read it all,
the time is just going down,
00:41:47.34\00:41:48.84
13 minutes or so.
00:41:48.87\00:41:50.21
1 Peter 3:8,
points out our need,
00:41:50.24\00:41:52.37
"Once again, to be of one mind."
00:41:52.41\00:41:54.81
Notice that what?
00:41:54.84\00:41:56.18
"One mind, have
compassion and have love,"
00:41:56.21\00:41:59.18
notice that the Bible says,
"And be pitiful and courteous."
00:41:59.21\00:42:03.05
Pitiful here means
to be tenderhearted.
00:42:03.08\00:42:06.65
You can't have a hardhearted
individual in a marriage
00:42:06.69\00:42:10.13
and make it work.
00:42:10.16\00:42:11.63
It has to be tender,
00:42:11.66\00:42:12.99
it has to be able to
be reached and touched.
00:42:13.03\00:42:15.16
And it's not by
griping and complaining
00:42:15.20\00:42:16.87
but it's by love that's
shown that melts an individual.
00:42:16.90\00:42:20.94
Often said, growing up at
home I was very sassy mouth
00:42:20.97\00:42:23.74
and so on and so forth.
00:42:23.77\00:42:25.11
It wasn't the
whippings and corrections
00:42:25.14\00:42:28.04
that I got that did it.
00:42:28.08\00:42:30.18
You see, but it was the
love that was shown back to me,
00:42:30.21\00:42:34.75
that will break your heart,
00:42:34.78\00:42:36.82
and cause you to want
to do the right thing.
00:42:36.85\00:42:41.22
One mind, compassion.
00:42:41.26\00:42:44.49
See Jesus gives that,
00:42:44.53\00:42:45.86
you remember
how Jesus gave this,
00:42:45.89\00:42:47.73
you know, He talks about,
00:42:47.76\00:42:49.10
He's writing a new
commandment to them.
00:42:49.13\00:42:50.63
You remember a new
commandment I give you.
00:42:50.67\00:42:52.50
You remember in John
15:12, John 15:12, Jesus said,
00:42:52.53\00:42:56.10
"I'm gonna give
you a new commandment
00:42:56.14\00:42:57.47
that you do," what?
00:42:57.51\00:43:00.28
"That you love one another,"
this is what was lacking.
00:43:00.31\00:43:03.28
Everything that they were doing,
00:43:03.31\00:43:04.65
they were lacking this thing
called love, we have to love.
00:43:04.68\00:43:08.28
Also in Matthew
or is it John 17:22,
00:43:08.32\00:43:12.79
Jesus was praying here,
00:43:12.82\00:43:14.16
"That they may be
one as we are one,"
00:43:14.19\00:43:16.62
that we need to be one.
00:43:16.66\00:43:18.63
We need to quit
worrying about trying to be one.
00:43:18.66\00:43:20.66
Somebody listen.
00:43:20.70\00:43:23.20
We need to quit
worrying about being one
00:43:23.23\00:43:25.10
with somebody else out there,
00:43:25.13\00:43:26.60
but we need to worry
about being one with God
00:43:26.63\00:43:28.47
and one with our mate.
00:43:28.50\00:43:31.87
This is so, so important.
00:43:31.91\00:43:34.81
Jesus said,
that they may be one,
00:43:34.84\00:43:36.88
they become married, they said,
00:43:36.91\00:43:38.58
the Bible said,
they become what?
00:43:38.61\00:43:40.52
One flesh,
00:43:40.55\00:43:41.88
didn't say that
about any other thing,
00:43:41.92\00:43:43.25
any other individual,
didn't say it about children,
00:43:43.28\00:43:45.29
didn't say grandchildren.
00:43:45.32\00:43:46.65
It says, the husband and wife
00:43:46.69\00:43:48.02
become one flesh.
00:43:48.06\00:43:50.39
It must be taken
into consideration.
00:43:50.43\00:43:53.29
Many will throw that out
00:43:53.33\00:43:54.66
because they
don't want to hear it.
00:43:54.70\00:43:56.40
Many people say,
let's not talk about it,
00:43:56.43\00:43:57.77
let's talk about something more.
00:43:57.80\00:43:59.33
That's what the Bible says,
00:43:59.37\00:44:00.70
so we need to look
at it in that light.
00:44:00.74\00:44:02.67
1 John 3:23, The Bible
said, "We must believe on,"
00:44:02.70\00:44:06.34
you want a happy marriage,
00:44:06.37\00:44:07.71
you want your
marriage to improve, it says,
00:44:07.74\00:44:09.08
"We must believe
on Jesus Christ,"
00:44:09.11\00:44:11.01
and then it goes on
to say "Love," what?
00:44:11.05\00:44:13.21
"Love one another."
00:44:13.25\00:44:14.58
Believe on Jesus
and love one another.
00:44:14.62\00:44:19.42
Love never produces,
00:44:19.45\00:44:20.79
I want you to know
is love never produces
00:44:20.82\00:44:22.32
the idea of self importance.
00:44:22.36\00:44:26.06
Love never produces, right,
it does not seek for flattery.
00:44:26.09\00:44:30.57
Real love never
seeks for flattery,
00:44:30.60\00:44:32.23
you always gonna have to
flatter him all the time,
00:44:32.27\00:44:33.60
you gonna have to say something.
00:44:33.64\00:44:34.97
True love never
seeks for anything.
00:44:35.00\00:44:38.27
Jot that down,
00:44:38.31\00:44:39.64
if you don't get
anything out of true love,
00:44:39.67\00:44:41.01
love for your
spouse or your children,
00:44:41.04\00:44:42.78
it never seeks and
if you really love it,
00:44:42.81\00:44:44.75
you're not seeking anything,
00:44:44.78\00:44:49.05
but their happiness.
00:44:49.08\00:44:51.22
Man, that's a lot of
dying self there, isn't it?
00:44:51.25\00:44:53.72
Love gives, real love gives.
00:44:53.76\00:44:58.36
Well, you didn't, you
didn't, and you didn't,
00:44:58.39\00:45:01.10
and he didn't and you...
00:45:01.13\00:45:02.76
Love gives, not receive.
00:45:02.80\00:45:05.83
It's more blessed to
give than to receive.
00:45:05.87\00:45:12.11
The verses goes on
and it says what I said,
00:45:12.14\00:45:13.74
love is never uncivil.
00:45:13.78\00:45:16.51
I think I've
been uncivil sometime.
00:45:16.54\00:45:18.15
I don't think if
anybody's ever been uncivil.
00:45:21.58\00:45:25.19
That means,
uncivil means not civil.
00:45:25.22\00:45:28.29
Love is never
rude. I've been rude.
00:45:31.93\00:45:36.30
And you may be
never intended to be rude.
00:45:36.33\00:45:39.83
But you got rude.
00:45:39.87\00:45:41.60
Circumstances,
situations made you rude,
00:45:41.64\00:45:44.04
still not right.
00:45:44.07\00:45:46.51
Love is never unmannerly,
love never offends anybody.
00:45:46.54\00:45:51.01
I don't care if
you've been offended or not,
00:45:51.05\00:45:52.45
don't care if you've been hurt,
beat, knocked, banged, thumped,
00:45:52.48\00:45:54.98
it does not matter.
00:45:55.02\00:45:56.35
You're never to try to go
back and hurt the other person.
00:45:56.38\00:45:59.75
Isn't that interesting?
00:45:59.79\00:46:02.49
That's called
true love, isn't it?
00:46:02.52\00:46:05.43
You could say they deserve
it, look what they just did,
00:46:05.46\00:46:07.06
look what they said,
look how they've acted,
00:46:07.10\00:46:08.46
look what they did.
00:46:08.50\00:46:09.83
Bible doesn't teach you that.
00:46:09.86\00:46:11.23
And that's why our marriage
is getting into mess they do,
00:46:11.27\00:46:13.17
because no one
wants to turn that...
00:46:13.20\00:46:14.74
return that unconditional love.
00:46:14.77\00:46:16.17
Love always seeks
the happiness of others.
00:46:19.27\00:46:23.01
And so doing, notice
this, another key here.
00:46:23.04\00:46:26.28
We may have to,
00:46:26.31\00:46:27.65
Spirit of
Prophecy brings out clear.
00:46:27.68\00:46:29.12
We may have to,
we may have to avoid,
00:46:29.15\00:46:33.42
we may have to avoid anything
00:46:33.46\00:46:36.52
that might upset
someone else's joy.
00:46:36.56\00:46:41.53
We might have to,
what? What was the word?
00:46:41.56\00:46:44.53
Avoid anything that
might upset someone else's joy.
00:46:44.57\00:46:49.27
We're not saying,
God doing anything
00:46:49.30\00:46:50.64
that's not scripted
or anything that's wrong,
00:46:50.67\00:46:52.81
but there're just
certain things sometime
00:46:52.84\00:46:55.48
that you have maybe in
marriages and relationships.
00:46:55.51\00:47:00.45
That may be in
itself it's not bad,
00:47:00.48\00:47:02.38
but it's
cutting the joy, it's...
00:47:02.42\00:47:05.25
the other, is cutting the cord,
00:47:05.29\00:47:08.86
it's causing problems
and it doesn't have to be.
00:47:08.89\00:47:12.46
And sometime we just
have to avoid that situation
00:47:12.49\00:47:15.66
like all the other things
in life that causes trouble.
00:47:15.70\00:47:18.03
We may have to avoid
a lot of things in life.
00:47:18.07\00:47:19.77
The I want all the time must go,
00:47:23.20\00:47:26.57
thy need, I, me, my.
00:47:26.61\00:47:30.45
I mean, that's
tough for everybody.
00:47:30.48\00:47:32.71
Only Jesus help
can that take place.
00:47:32.75\00:47:36.45
Do you realize
true love never finds,
00:47:36.48\00:47:38.75
you know, and I've griped
and complained a lot of time,
00:47:38.79\00:47:40.46
true love never
find fault with anyone.
00:47:40.49\00:47:42.36
How many times that maybe
we found fault with someone.
00:47:45.96\00:47:51.07
True love doesn't
find fault with anyone.
00:47:51.10\00:47:54.97
Never tries to judge
another person's motives,
00:47:55.00\00:47:57.87
never.
00:47:57.91\00:48:00.58
True love can never
find happiness in sin
00:48:00.61\00:48:05.08
of any kind.
00:48:05.11\00:48:06.45
Are you still with me?
00:48:06.48\00:48:09.88
Verse 8, it said,
"Love never fails."
00:48:09.92\00:48:12.59
I think it's interesting.
00:48:12.62\00:48:13.99
And that means love never fails,
00:48:14.02\00:48:15.36
that means love never falls off,
00:48:15.39\00:48:16.83
'cause to us in our human mind,
00:48:16.86\00:48:18.19
we're getting so dark,
00:48:18.23\00:48:19.56
so far away from
the cross of Calvary,
00:48:19.59\00:48:21.10
from the real
love of Jesus Christ,
00:48:21.13\00:48:22.80
we just look at and say, "Yeah,
they did and that's why I did."
00:48:22.83\00:48:25.03
He said, love never falls off,
illustration, 1 Peter 1:24, 25.
00:48:28.47\00:48:32.71
Six, seven
minutes left, come on,
00:48:32.74\00:48:34.58
1 Peter 1:24, 25,
gives the illustration.
00:48:34.61\00:48:37.65
Now let's go there.
00:48:37.68\00:48:39.01
It says, "The grass withereth,
and the flower," what?
00:48:39.05\00:48:41.72
"Fades away."
00:48:41.75\00:48:43.08
Yeah, that means it
falls off, doesn't it?
00:48:43.12\00:48:45.99
But notice this,
00:48:46.02\00:48:47.36
"But the word of
the Lord endureth," how?
00:48:47.39\00:48:48.96
Verse 25, "Forever..."
00:48:48.99\00:48:50.83
Notice it, "So real
love does not fall off
00:48:50.86\00:48:53.80
like a leaf or a flower."
00:48:53.83\00:48:56.46
A flower gives
beauty and good smelling
00:48:56.50\00:48:59.37
and they look
beautiful beside the road
00:48:59.40\00:49:00.74
when you're going to work.
00:49:00.77\00:49:02.44
And you look and say,
00:49:02.47\00:49:03.81
"Man, this is a
beautiful thing."
00:49:03.84\00:49:05.17
They come in to
being and you see that
00:49:05.21\00:49:06.64
and they do their work,
00:49:06.68\00:49:08.01
they do what
they're appointed to do,
00:49:08.04\00:49:09.58
but the winter
comes and the rain comes
00:49:09.61\00:49:11.45
and they die.
00:49:11.48\00:49:14.15
They're no longer that way,
00:49:14.18\00:49:15.52
that's why you
see the smell is gone,
00:49:15.55\00:49:17.79
the plant withers and
it falls to the ground.
00:49:17.82\00:49:21.92
This does not happen
00:49:21.96\00:49:23.29
when two people
are really in love,
00:49:23.32\00:49:24.96
the way God
meant for them to love.
00:49:24.99\00:49:27.20
The winter time
comes, the blast,
00:49:27.23\00:49:28.96
the Arctic blast
00:49:29.00\00:49:30.33
will hit you sometime, isn't it?
00:49:30.37\00:49:31.70
The rain is going to come
and sometime it's a flood,
00:49:31.73\00:49:34.24
and we don't understand
why things are happening
00:49:34.27\00:49:35.87
the way they are.
00:49:35.90\00:49:37.24
Sometime a drought will come,
00:49:37.27\00:49:38.77
you know, that there
seemed like to be nothing.
00:49:38.81\00:49:40.24
There's not
even... Maybe no talking.
00:49:40.28\00:49:41.61
There's no action.
00:49:41.64\00:49:42.98
There's not
anything that's going on
00:49:43.01\00:49:44.35
that may happen.
00:49:44.38\00:49:45.71
Stress and strain will come.
00:49:45.75\00:49:48.48
But along with that
there's some stuff that's sweet
00:49:48.52\00:49:50.89
and stuff that's good.
00:49:50.92\00:49:52.25
There's some
real love maintains.
00:49:52.29\00:49:55.19
Real love never falls off.
00:49:55.22\00:49:56.89
A survey was taken
talking about husband and wife
00:50:01.26\00:50:04.30
and spending
their time together.
00:50:04.33\00:50:05.67
And it says, this
is just a recent one,
00:50:05.70\00:50:07.60
that says a husband
and wife both live longer.
00:50:07.64\00:50:11.97
Less strain
naturally, when they're married,
00:50:12.01\00:50:13.64
they live longer,
00:50:13.68\00:50:15.04
when they take at
least three weeks of vacation
00:50:15.08\00:50:17.45
together a year.
00:50:17.48\00:50:19.95
They actually live longer,
00:50:19.98\00:50:22.58
and they have a
happier marriage.
00:50:22.62\00:50:23.95
Why?
00:50:23.99\00:50:25.32
Because they
can leave the stress
00:50:25.35\00:50:26.69
and the strain where it belongs
and not take it with them.
00:50:26.72\00:50:32.13
You know, in some
ministries and work sometime,
00:50:32.16\00:50:34.30
it's seemed like
24/7, things go on.
00:50:34.33\00:50:37.47
There's times you
have to put it down
00:50:37.50\00:50:39.23
for just a little bit.
00:50:39.27\00:50:40.74
Its necessity is to put it down,
00:50:40.77\00:50:43.24
because if you don't you
get too wrapped up in that,
00:50:43.27\00:50:45.64
you forget that
you have a spouse.
00:50:45.67\00:50:48.61
You forget what was normal,
00:50:48.64\00:50:49.98
you forgot the
way that started out,
00:50:50.01\00:50:53.45
you forgot to
show that affection,
00:50:53.48\00:50:54.88
you forgot to
show how it once was.
00:50:54.92\00:50:57.55
True love can be
relied on at all the times,
00:50:57.59\00:51:00.26
I love that.
00:51:00.29\00:51:01.62
All the time.
00:51:01.66\00:51:02.99
True love solves all problems,
it can solve all problems.
00:51:06.23\00:51:10.13
Solomon said,
00:51:10.17\00:51:11.50
it's something
like this in Solomon,
00:51:11.53\00:51:12.87
Song of Solomon 8:6,
7, just paraphrasing here.
00:51:12.90\00:51:17.37
He said, "Love
is strong as death,"
00:51:17.41\00:51:18.74
I like that.
00:51:18.77\00:51:20.11
Love is what?
00:51:20.14\00:51:21.48
"Is strong as death,
00:51:21.51\00:51:22.84
jealousy is
cruel as the grave..."
00:51:22.88\00:51:24.95
Interesting.
00:51:24.98\00:51:26.31
He said, "Many
waters cannot quench love."
00:51:26.35\00:51:30.85
Solomon tells us that pure love
00:51:30.89\00:51:32.29
cannot be destroyed.
00:51:32.32\00:51:34.16
Pure love is invincible.
00:51:34.19\00:51:37.79
We want our
marriage to be better,
00:51:37.83\00:51:39.89
we want to be more enduring.
00:51:39.93\00:51:41.86
Proverbs 12:10 says
this, Proverbs 10:12,
00:51:41.90\00:51:46.37
"Hatred stirreth up strifes:
but love covereth all sins."
00:51:46.40\00:51:52.21
Did you get that? So,
so, so, so very important.
00:51:52.24\00:51:54.91
Hatred does what?
"Stirreth up strife."
00:51:54.94\00:51:58.41
And that means simply
dislike, you dislike someone,
00:51:58.45\00:52:00.65
you don't like
being around them.
00:52:00.68\00:52:02.02
I'll say, it's just
stirring everything they did,
00:52:02.05\00:52:04.29
they can't do anything right.
00:52:04.32\00:52:07.46
And then there's real problems.
00:52:07.49\00:52:10.79
Hatred motivates a
person to cause trouble,
00:52:10.83\00:52:14.76
while love forgives and forgets,
00:52:14.80\00:52:18.67
regardless the way
that you've been treated
00:52:18.70\00:52:21.47
and you didn't deserve it.
00:52:21.50\00:52:24.34
We still have to
forgive and forget.
00:52:24.37\00:52:27.71
Jesus said and know
what it says to husband,
00:52:27.74\00:52:29.54
love your enemies,
00:52:29.58\00:52:31.01
do good to them who
despitefully use you,
00:52:31.05\00:52:34.08
and say what?
00:52:34.12\00:52:36.79
False things against you.
00:52:36.82\00:52:39.92
Insult you, slander you.
00:52:39.95\00:52:42.72
Matthew 5:9 says,
"Blessed are the peacemakers,
00:52:42.76\00:52:47.03
for they shall be
called the children of God."
00:52:47.06\00:52:51.87
We won't have time,
00:52:51.90\00:52:53.23
I wish we did Ephesians 5:22-33,
00:52:53.27\00:52:57.61
because here is the
husband and wife relationship.
00:52:57.64\00:53:00.71
Paul hits on three
areas with relationship
00:53:00.74\00:53:02.88
between husband and wife,
between masters and servants.
00:53:02.91\00:53:06.48
To have a happy
home, last two minutes,
00:53:06.51\00:53:09.15
good marriage
and improve marriage.
00:53:09.18\00:53:12.02
We must follow God's plan.
00:53:12.05\00:53:13.39
There's no doubt
about it in my mind.
00:53:13.42\00:53:15.52
It's not gonna work the
way God wants it if we don't.
00:53:15.56\00:53:17.83
Verse 22, this
is interesting here,
00:53:17.86\00:53:20.56
and I should have
brought up my one testimony,
00:53:20.60\00:53:22.26
someone else can read from that.
00:53:22.30\00:53:23.90
Verse 22, "Wives,
00:53:23.93\00:53:25.27
submit yourselves
unto your own husbands."
00:53:25.30\00:53:28.60
We know that in
the job that you go to,
00:53:28.64\00:53:32.17
in the church that you attend,
00:53:32.21\00:53:34.01
wherever you go
in the government
00:53:34.04\00:53:35.64
and the service,
there's always some,
00:53:35.68\00:53:37.68
in the community what?
00:53:37.71\00:53:39.05
There must be a head.
00:53:39.08\00:53:41.45
The reason there had
to be a head we'd add
00:53:41.48\00:53:43.22
and put over the
woman is because well,
00:53:43.25\00:53:46.29
the woman's sinned.
00:53:46.32\00:53:47.92
If when they were created,
00:53:47.96\00:53:49.29
they were equal
in the beginning,
00:53:49.32\00:53:50.66
you know why?
00:53:50.69\00:53:52.03
Because there was no sin.
00:53:52.06\00:53:53.40
There was no selfishness.
00:53:53.43\00:53:54.76
There was no
desire to be on top.
00:53:54.80\00:53:56.13
Their mind was
one together with God,
00:53:56.16\00:53:57.50
you didn't need
it but when sin came,
00:53:57.53\00:53:58.87
God realized that you can't
have two heads in the family.
00:53:58.90\00:54:02.97
And God said to the
man in Genesis 3:16,
00:54:03.00\00:54:07.04
that the woman
would serve the man.
00:54:07.08\00:54:09.48
And we realized
that's in the right way.
00:54:09.51\00:54:10.95
And just don't
have time to talk about
00:54:10.98\00:54:12.68
all of that for sure.
00:54:12.71\00:54:14.15
But the principle
is permanent here.
00:54:14.18\00:54:16.28
And when there is,
00:54:16.32\00:54:17.65
I'll bring this up
here and you can read it
00:54:17.69\00:54:19.02
for yourself some time.
00:54:19.05\00:54:20.39
Ellen White
simply makes a comment.
00:54:20.42\00:54:21.99
He says,
00:54:22.02\00:54:23.36
"When there's a
difference in the home,
00:54:23.39\00:54:25.56
both of you are Christian."
00:54:25.59\00:54:27.36
Not talking about
somebody that's God.
00:54:27.40\00:54:29.76
I'm talking about
Christians this whole time.
00:54:29.80\00:54:31.83
It is, when there's a difference
00:54:31.87\00:54:33.20
and a decision has to be made,
00:54:33.23\00:54:34.57
the man is the
head of the house,
00:54:34.60\00:54:35.97
his wife is to submit
00:54:36.00\00:54:37.34
and to respect his
choice and decision.
00:54:37.37\00:54:39.54
They can talk about
it, they can discuss it,
00:54:39.57\00:54:41.64
but as the end result,
00:54:41.68\00:54:43.21
we had to follow
what God says in His Word.
00:54:43.24\00:54:45.51
And that's not
always easy to do.
00:54:45.55\00:54:47.85
But the man will love his
wife as Christ loved the church
00:54:47.88\00:54:50.42
and gave Himself for it.
00:54:50.45\00:54:51.79
Let's pray. Shall we, together?
00:54:51.82\00:54:54.92
Loving Father in
heaven, thank You for Your Word.
00:54:54.96\00:54:56.59
Thank You, that straightness
is pointed helped us to follow
00:54:56.62\00:54:58.73
that Word today.
00:54:58.76\00:55:00.10
Lord, we would be careful
to give You praise, honor,
00:55:00.13\00:55:01.50
and glory for those
who made right choices
00:55:01.53\00:55:03.16
and decisions
today in Jesus' name.
00:55:03.20\00:55:04.90
Amen.
00:55:04.93\00:55:06.27
Thank you very
much for joining us
00:55:06.30\00:55:07.64
and we'll see you next week.
00:55:07.67\00:55:11.07
Hello, and welcome back,
friends, improve your marriage.
00:55:11.11\00:55:14.64
I truly hope that you've been
blessed as you've studied along
00:55:14.68\00:55:17.81
with Pastor Kenny
Shelton on how to do just that.
00:55:17.85\00:55:21.12
In closing,
00:55:21.15\00:55:22.48
I want to share
just a few verses
00:55:22.52\00:55:24.05
from 1 Corinthians Chapter 13.
00:55:24.09\00:55:26.79
You can follow along
with me on your screen.
00:55:26.82\00:55:29.79
It reads,
00:55:29.82\00:55:31.16
"Charity suffereth
long, and is kind..."
00:55:31.19\00:55:34.50
And remember always
that the word charity
00:55:34.53\00:55:36.83
can be translated as love.
00:55:36.87\00:55:38.47
So if you like
the word love better,
00:55:38.50\00:55:41.17
if you can relate to
that, just substitute it.
00:55:41.20\00:55:43.71
"Love suffereth long, and
is kind, love envieth not,
00:55:43.74\00:55:49.68
love vaunteth not
itself, is not puffed up,
00:55:49.71\00:55:54.02
Doth not behave itself unseemly,
00:55:54.05\00:55:56.89
seeketh not her own,
00:55:56.92\00:55:58.25
and is not easily provoked,
00:55:58.29\00:56:00.06
think about that
true heavenly love
00:56:00.09\00:56:02.82
is not easily provoked,
00:56:02.86\00:56:05.13
thinketh no evil.
00:56:05.16\00:56:06.70
Rejoiceth not in iniquity,
but rejoiceth in the truth.
00:56:06.73\00:56:11.70
Beareth all things,
believeth all things,
00:56:11.73\00:56:14.44
hopeth all things,"
00:56:14.47\00:56:16.00
brothers and sisters,
love "endureth all things."
00:56:16.04\00:56:20.14
And I realize, as a
Christian on our own,
00:56:20.18\00:56:24.78
we cannot have this
type of heart change.
00:56:24.81\00:56:27.08
We cannot have these
types of reactions and actions
00:56:27.12\00:56:32.22
if it were not
for the Holy Spirit
00:56:32.25\00:56:34.16
coming into our heart,
00:56:34.19\00:56:35.96
and performing a heart
surgery that only God can do.
00:56:35.99\00:56:39.56
He wants to do that for you.
00:56:39.59\00:56:42.06
And if you allow
Him, you can implement,
00:56:42.10\00:56:44.67
you can claim these
verses in your life,
00:56:44.70\00:56:47.70
your home will change.
00:56:47.74\00:56:49.64
It'll be a little
bit of heaven on earth.
00:56:49.67\00:56:51.84
Your children will thank
you, your spouse will thank you.
00:56:51.87\00:56:55.24
I pray that you're
both working together
00:56:55.28\00:56:57.35
because that's how we
truly improve our marriage.
00:56:57.38\00:57:00.22
It's not just
one in the marriage.
00:57:00.25\00:57:02.25
It's both working together
with our Heavenly Father.
00:57:02.28\00:57:06.86
So if you would
like to have this study
00:57:06.89\00:57:09.26
and share it with a friend
00:57:09.29\00:57:10.83
or just go over it
time and time again,
00:57:10.86\00:57:13.40
we pray that you'll call us here
00:57:13.43\00:57:15.36
at Behold the Lamb Ministries
and it's Central Time.
00:57:15.40\00:57:18.80
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00:57:18.83\00:57:24.21
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00:57:24.24\00:57:26.78
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00:57:26.81\00:57:29.88
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00:57:29.91\00:57:31.65
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00:57:31.68\00:57:35.78
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Friends, until next
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00:57:50.80\00:57:53.97
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00:57:54.00\00:57:57.37