Participants:
Series Code: BOLS
Program Code: BOLS000161S
|
00:03 #S083 - “Married At First Sight” (Part 2)
00:14 Welcome to The Breath of Life 00:16 Television Ministries broadcast with Pastor Debleaire Snell. 00:21 In today's episode, 00:22 Pastor Snell will continue part two of the powerful message. 00:27 “Married At First Sight”. 00:30 Now let's go deeper into the word of God. 00:35 You ought to be thanking him that before 00:37 he sent the right person, he sent you to the right job 00:42 and gave you the right house and gave you the right income. 00:44 And then in the right order, he sends the right person 00:49 because they assumed that got the right person. 00:51 But they ain't got the right job. 00:52 They ain't got the right income. 00:54 And I would rather be single in the right house 00:58 than to have the right person sleeping in my car. 01:00 Y'all not hear what I'm saying today? 01:01 Church You need to thank God 01:04 that he has ordered every one of your steps. 01:07 And let me just pause while I'm here today. 01:09 Can I just say to anybody who's single, 01:11 watch your entanglements. 01:17 Because when you're entangled with the wrong person, 01:21 guess what? 01:22 You can't even notice the right person when they show up 01:25 and see. 01:26 The problem is there are some of us 01:28 that look, once we mature to a certain age 01:31 and we say, man, why couldn't I marry someone like him or her 01:35 when the truth is that person had already been in your orbit, 01:40 but you were so entangled with the wrong person 01:43 that you put 01:45 them in the friend zone and couldn't even identify them 01:48 and see. 01:49 One of the things I love about Rebecca Church 01:51 is that she is not here looking for nobody. 01:53 She's just out here living her life 01:55 and operating in her divine purpose. 01:58 See, the thing I like about Rebecca 02:01 is she ain't looking for nobody to complete her. 02:03 She ain't looking for nobody to save her. 02:06 She ain't looking for nobody to provide for her. 02:09 She ain't looking for nobody to make her complete. Why? 02:13 Because she is a daughter of God. 02:15 So that she is already made complete. 02:18 Because she has an active relationship with him. 02:22 In fact, let me let me say it as I share with you last year, 02:25 y'all remember old school 02:26 that when you went to a very cheap house party? 02:29 Malcolm The invitation was, say something like this BYOB. 02:35 Oh, y'all saved in this room today. 02:37 And the BYOB, it meant bring your own bag 02:41 or bring your own bottle. 02:42 In other words, 02:43 we ain't got enough to feed you, so you better bring your own. 02:47 And what I'm saying to anybody today is that 02:49 instead of waiting on somebody to make you happy, 02:52 instead of waiting on somebody to make you joyful, 02:56 I need you to be y0h and bring your own happiness. 03:02 I need you to be y oj and bring your own joy. 03:07 I need you to be y0p and bring your own peace. 03:11 And by0c and bring your own contentment. 03:15 And by0h bring your own hope. 03:19 And I need somebody to be y0m bring your own money. 03:22 Can I get a witness in this room today? 03:25 You don't need nobody to make you. 03:28 You need to bring it to the party. 03:30 All y'all hear me today 03:32 and see this a folks s in their feelings 03:35 because you've been waiting for your woman, a man 03:36 to make you happy. 03:38 You're putting too much pressure on a person. 03:42 How many of us know there is no person 03:45 that can make you happy? 03:48 There is no person that can make you joyful. 03:51 There is one source of joy. 03:54 And his name is J. 03:56 ESU ass. 03:58 Are you y'all here in the word today? 03:59 Church. 04:01 And so the word says to us here, Genesis, chapter 24 04:05 and verse number 18. 04:07 Look at it quickly here with me today, Genesis 24, in verse 18, 04:11 I just want to show a few south streets 04:13 and they're going to take you to Jesus and take my seat. 04:15 Genesis 24 in verse 18. 04:17 So she said, Drink, my lord. 04:20 Then she quickly led her pitcher 04:21 down to her hand and gave him a drink, 04:23 and when she had finished giving him a drink, 04:26 she said, I will draw water for your camels. 04:28 Also, until they have finished drinking. 04:33 The third thing, third thing this teaches us 04:35 is that spouse traits are global, not local. 04:40 Okay, let me say it again, 04:42 that spouse traits are global, not local. 04:46 So that sometimes one of the mistakes 04:48 we make young people 04:49 is that when we're looking or evaluating someone, 04:52 we just look at how they treat us. 04:56 But it's actually informative to notice 05:00 how they engage with the community around them. 05:03 Are you with me today? 05:04 In other words, brother, 05:05 you need to ask, is he just being kind to me? 05:08 Is the kindness just local or does it travel 05:11 outside of the orbit where I'm standing? 05:15 Did you notice this one thing about Rebecca Church that she is 05:17 just kind to everybody that she comes in contact with? 05:23 In other words, Rebecca is not putting on an audition 05:27 to win the affection of Isaac. 05:30 Rebecca is simply that girl that whenever she finds a need, 05:35 she pours herself all the way into it 05:38 so that she has no response ability to him 05:41 culturally or to the servant professionally 05:44 or to him from a financial standpoint. 05:48 She is just doing what she does 05:51 because kindness is inside of her. 05:55 And see, I need you to understand, Beloved, 05:57 that as you're looking and evaluating friends of mine, 06:00 you've got to ask yourself, is the kindness local to me 06:05 or is it global and are they a blessing to everybody? 06:07 Are y'all hear me today? Church? 06:09 In other words, it shouldn't just be. 06:11 How do they treat you? 06:12 You ought to be asking, do those characteristics travel 06:16 or are they just local? 06:17 When you're around? 06:19 In other words, brother, you ought to ask, 06:21 is she generally kind? 06:27 Because if she's just nice when you show up, 06:30 she that a really character is a kindness mask. 06:35 And how many of us know that mask always have to come off. 06:39 You need to ask, is he generally gentle 06:42 or is he just gentle when you show up? 06:46 Because the truth is, it may be a gentleness mask, 06:49 but gentleness always comes off mask always comes out. 06:53 You got to ask, are they just spiritual on Sabbath? 06:56 But if you run up 06:57 on Tuesday, on Thursday, 06:58 is there a completely different energy? 07:02 Is there spirituality, a mask or is it skin? 07:05 Are y'all hear me today? Church? 07:06 In other words, 07:07 if they 07:09 treat the waiter with respect, they won't treat a wife 07:12 with respect. 07:14 If she tears down others with their tongue, then guess what? 07:18 It's just a matter of time 07:19 for that same energy comes back in your direction. 07:23 If he lies to everybody else, guess what? 07:26 You're going to rest assured that he is lying to you. 07:29 In other words, if they are harsh 07:31 to everybody else, 07:32 in other words, 07:33 that harshness is going to come back in your direction. 07:37 If they are personally petty, they're 07:40 going to be relationally petty. 07:42 And you've got to get back 07:44 to recognizing that the character traits 07:48 are not just seeing in how they treat you, but 07:49 showing in how they treat everybody. 07:51 And can I just say to somebody who is single and waiting, 07:53 God measures your readiness, not just by how 07:57 are you going to treat the one you love. 08:00 He's saying whether or not you're ready 08:01 based on how you treat everybody around you, 08:04 how y'all not hear me today? 08:06 The audition doesn't start when the right person shows up. 08:10 God is seeing how you treat people 08:12 you don't need nothing from 08:15 and God saying, I can't trust you with a wife. 08:17 If I can trust you with the waitress, 08:20 I can't trust you with a husband. 08:22 If you don't know how to treat a stranger. 08:25 You see, the audition doesn't always take place on a stage. 08:29 It happens in the way 08:30 you interact with everybody you come in contact with. 08:34 How do you treat people that you don't know? 08:36 How do you treat people you don't need? 08:38 How many of us know that? 08:39 If you can't, you if you can't forgive 08:41 your enemies, you can't forgive your partner. 08:47 Because marriage is a constant 08:50 litany of having to forgive offenses 08:52 that you feel like should not be committed, though 08:54 you'll hear what I'm saying today. 08:55 CHURCH And see, this is why you got to 08:57 treat the community good. 08:59 Because before most people approach you, they research you 09:07 notice the servant. 09:08 He's noticed that she's beautiful, 09:10 but he's gathered some information along the way. 09:13 He's figured out who are people. 09:14 He's he knows that she's unmarried. 09:17 She no, he knows nobody ain't been with her. 09:20 In other words, he's done some asking around. 09:22 He ain't just praying. 09:22 He's in. He's interrogating. 09:26 And I need somebody to know that sometimes God's will 09:29 is confirmed in the consistency of testimony about you, 09:33 so that when people are asking around, they want to see if 09:36 everybody says the same thing 09:38 concerning you, the almighty quiet today. 09:40 In other words, God's will is confirmed 09:42 when everybody says He is a man of integrity, 09:46 God's will is confirmed when everybody says 09:49 that she has a servant disposition 09:51 and she handles her business in God's will is confirmed. 09:54 When everybody says that, Yeah, man, 09:56 I see him 09:57 the way he moves during the week 09:58 and he'll be a blessing to your life. 10:00 And how many of us know that everybody in this room 10:05 that at some point somebody is single, is researching you 10:09 and see sometimes they 10:11 ask in the usher, you turn your nose up at the door 10:15 and sometimes they are asking friends that that that janitor 10:19 that you look through every day on your way into your job 10:24 and see, that's why, friends, you want to make sure 10:27 that you treat everybody well because you never know 10:31 who's going to advocate for you, speak up for you 10:34 and say your name in rooms where you are not standing 10:38 here in the word today. 10:39 CHURCH 10:41 And so the word says here in verse number 16, stay with me. 10:43 CHURCH The Bible says here in Genesis 24 10:48 and verse number 16, hear the word of the Lord. 10:51 Notice what they notice the Bible says now. 10:53 The young woman was very beautiful to behold. 10:55 A virgin, and no man had known her. 10:59 And she went down to the well and filled her picture. 11:02 And the Bible says that she came up 11:04 for thing that this teaches us 11:06 is you got to make sure their history won't harm you. 11:11 Notice that the word is giving some detail 11:14 about what is being evaluated. 11:18 The word says is careful to point out that she is a virgin 11:22 and that no one has ever slept with her. 11:25 Now, to be clear, Church, every culture has a way, 11:27 specifically for some reason, 11:28 of acknowledging and celebrating a woman's virtue. 11:32 But I want to enlarge upon the principle 11:34 more than just the sexual, because understand that 11:38 the servant knows that Isaac is perhaps around 16 or 17, 11:43 that he is a young and inexperienced man, 11:47 and it makes sense to partner him with an inexperienced woman. 11:51 And the servant knows that no experience 11:54 is better than a bunch of bad experience. 11:57 Okay. 11:59 And the reason I'm 11:59 saying this church, 12:01 because, again, I'm not just talking about sexual experience, 12:04 I want to say this 12:05 because what has become culture common in the culture 12:10 is to just say, pastor, the past is the past. 12:14 And whatever happened in the past don't inform 12:17 nothing about what's going on with me. 12:21 But I am here to declare the devil is a liar. 12:25 I hear what I'm saying. 12:27 In other words, 12:28 I'm not saying that a person's history should disqualify them, 12:33 but what I rebuke is the welcoming of ignorance. 12:37 It is this 12:38 belief that everything in a person's past 12:42 automatically resets as soon as they connect with me. 12:47 But the truth is, friends, that if you're going to get serious 12:49 about somebody, you need to know their sexual history. 12:54 You ought to know their professional history. 12:56 You need to know their mental history. 12:59 You might even need to know their credit score. 13:00 Y'all not hear what I'm saying? 13:02 You need to know what's going on in that person's life. 13:07 In other words, you need to know why it is that 13:09 the last man she was with called it off. 13:13 So quickly, you need to understand why 13:15 he's been divorced three times in the last 20 years. 13:20 You need to find out 13:21 why he's been fired from every job he's ever had. 13:25 You need to make sure you understand their mental history 13:28 and their sexual history. 13:30 You need to know why they have more bodies in a cemetery. 13:34 He cannot keep it real in the House of the Lord today. 13:36 You need to know the credit score. 13:37 Can I get a witness out there? 13:39 You need to be clear. 13:40 If that score is in the threes, you ought to say 13:42 you can't be with me. 13:44 If it's in the fours, we can't date no more. 13:48 If it's in the fives, you knew that marazion alive. 13:51 And if it's under six, it might be a trick. 13:53 Now, not here with the Bass of the day. 13:56 In other words, you need to 13:57 understand their mental history. 14:02 Not now. 14:03 Again, I don't mean I don't want to be flippant about this. 14:06 I'm not saying if a person is depressed 14:08 or they struggle with bipolar disorder 14:10 that you ought to disqualify them. 14:11 But you need to enter into that knowing that you need to have 14:15 a plan of treatment together, because that heaviness 14:22 requires more than sentiment and a good prayer life. 14:25 I hear what I'm saying today. 14:25 Church and see friends of mine. 14:28 I need somebody to know 14:29 that you need to understand what happens in a person's history 14:33 because whatever is in their 14:34 history is going to impact your future. 14:37 It's crazy because I remember I was preaching in a certain 14:40 country. 14:41 Malcolm, and when I was getting ready 14:42 to come back home after a week 14:44 as I went into the airport with my luggage 14:47 and I put it on the counter, they did something strange. 14:49 They took my bag and they began to spray it with disinfectant. 14:55 And then they began to wrap it in this type plastic lining. 15:00 So they first disinfected it and then they wrapped it. 15:03 And I looked at them and asked them what they were doing. 15:05 They said, We've got to wrap 15:06 and disinfect your bag because we 15:08 don't want you to take back any strand of bacteria. 15:12 We don't want you to take back a flea or a tick 15:15 that might be harmful to anyone else. 15:17 And it seemed over the top, 15:19 and it seemed like they were doing too much. 15:21 And the man says something I'll never forget. 15:24 He says, never let. 15:24 What happened on your journey impact 15:27 those who didn't take that journey with you? 15:30 And see, this is my friends. 15:31 You've got to be careful 15:33 and take precautions because you can be harmed 15:36 by a journey you didn't even take 15:43 and see. 15:43 Friends. 15:44 The other component of history 15:45 is you got to make sure your histories match. 15:50 Okay. 15:51 In other words, you know Isaac, he's 15:53 a young, inexperienced man. 15:55 And so he needs to be matched generally with a young, 15:58 inexperienced woman. 15:59 Go with me today, church 16:00 and see when I talk about asking about history. 16:02 I'm not asking you to be nosy. 16:04 One of the things you need 16:05 to see is if your histories are congruent 16:09 with one another. 16:12 Okay, because sometimes brothers, 16:15 you tend to date a little younger 16:17 and sometimes your history might be too heavy for her. 16:22 So if you've been divorced and you got three kids 16:25 and she's just moving out of her mom's house, 16:28 your history may be a little bit too heavy for her to bear. 16:33 In other words, if you have lived a little bit 16:36 and you've got responsibilities 16:37 and you've gone through some challenges 16:39 and you're partnered with somebody 16:40 who is essentially an emotional virgin, 16:44 they don't have any scars on their soul. 16:46 Sometimes you've got to pay attention to it 16:48 because your history may be too heavy for them. 16:51 How many of us understand? 16:52 You need to understand the history 16:54 because not everybody has the internal structure of soul 17:00 to be in a blended family and not preaching the truth today 17:04 that it takes a real man to help raise some of the man's kids 17:08 and to step in the gap where that brother walked away. 17:12 It takes a special woman to raise kids that are not hers. 17:17 When that other woman walked out and she's still bringing drama 17:20 to the house, you need to know that they have what it takes 17:26 to handle the history so that I've even seen 17:29 that sometimes when a widow remarries, sometimes it helps 17:33 if they marry another widow, 17:34 somebody that has the structure of soul 17:38 to handle the history and the load that comes with, you 17:42 know what I'm saying today? 17:43 CHURCH And again, 17:44 I'm not saying that the history is bad, 17:46 but you got to make sure that those histories match 17:48 and there is 17:49 enough strength to carry what comes with that person, 17:52 this funny man. 17:53 You're my family. 17:54 My wife and I, we travel a lot 17:55 and I'm meeting a 16 year old in the shade. 17:57 But sometimes my wife packs 18:00 like she ain't never coming back home. 18:03 I mean. I mean. 18:04 I mean, pray for the pastor's afternoon. 18:06 Listen, there are days 18:07 when she'll go out of town for, like, a day and she'll pack 18:11 so much luggage, I'd be like, Baby, are we still together? 18:14 I mean, are you coming back home? 18:16 I'm like, Give me your hotel address. 18:18 I need to know where you going 18:20 in the event that you don't come back. 18:22 But but it's crazy. 18:23 Church Because sometimes when we are traveling are the kids. 18:27 Malcolm would try to assist us. 18:29 We carrying the bass 18:31 but the younger two, they are not really 18:33 used to carrying bands that are that heavy. 18:36 So most of the time I have to carry my wife's bags 18:40 because she needs somebody that's strong 18:42 enough to carry her baggage ordinance today. 18:46 She needs somebody that's strong enough to carry 18:49 what she's packing. 18:51 And when you are dating, you don't need a boy. 18:54 You need a man that can carry your baggage. 18:58 You don't need a girl. 18:59 That's just cute in a skirt. 19:01 You need a woman with enough character 19:04 to handle your baggage. 19:05 And when you ask the Lord, don't just ask for shoulders 19:09 and a complexion. 19:10 That's for somebody strong enough to carry the bags. 19:16 That's a part of your journey. 19:18 I hear me today. Church 19:21 And see, I just need to say this because it is a strange thing. 19:23 Verse 21 Notice that man, she meets all of the criteria 19:28 she ask him for a drink. 19:29 She feeds the camel. 19:30 She's pretty. 19:31 She's inexperienced, sexually. 19:33 But notice what verse 21, 19:35 the Bible says that the man takes time to be silent, 19:39 to see if this thing comes from God. 19:43 And I just want to encourage you, no matter how many signs 19:45 you see, you need to take time 19:47 for observation and deliberation. 19:51 See, friends of mine. 19:52 I need you to notice 19:53 that sometimes you don't need to just check your list. 19:57 You need to check in with Jehovah. 20:00 See, the problem is you go about this little, 20:03 this little fake list, you create it. 20:05 But you need to be still long 20:06 enough to know whether or not this thing is from God 20:10 and the reason you need to be still. 20:12 How many of us have ever got gassed up before? 20:16 Because the first few dates went so good? 20:19 You thought this had to be from God. 20:22 But once you let it breathe for a little bit, 20:26 once you let the infatuation wear off, once the Spirit of God 20:30 began to speak, sometimes the beginning can fool you. 20:36 So you need to be still long enough to see 20:38 if God is the one that is in the arranging process. 20:43 And this is why I would encourage all 20:44 who are of a marriageable age. 20:46 There is a very 20:48 wonderful formula that Ellen White gives us. 20:51 She says, You ought to have a long courtship 20:53 and a short engagement. 20:56 Okay, I can't get no help here today. 20:59 Do you realize 21:00 you don't just need to see how they look in jeans? 21:04 You need to see how they look in different seasons of life. 21:08 You need to see them when they. Man, can I. 21:10 Can I get a witness out there? 21:11 You need to see them when they sleep. 21:13 You need to see them when they hungry. 21:15 You need to see them 21:16 when they ain't got no money. You need to see them 21:18 when they are around their family. 21:21 Oh, you better evaluate their family life. 21:25 They all like, Oh, I'm just marrying them. 21:26 Ain't marrying that devil is a liar. 21:30 You better see what you marrying into a young 21:33 hearing The Bachelor this afternoon. 21:36 And so you need to take some time 21:39 so that your desire and your emotion 21:43 and the charm does not deceive you. 21:46 And see some of us like, yo, you got to be careful 21:50 when somebody's going to get married too quick, 21:51 because really, when they want to rush you to the altar, 21:54 they want to get you there before the real them comes out 21:59 because they get on the way. 22:00 That man so long am I preach 22:02 anybody that in other words, I need to lock him or her up 22:07 before they see my temper, my temperament, 22:10 my bank account, my attitude, my ugly? 22:13 You want to see it all 22:16 and see? 22:17 That's the one thing I say all the time. 22:18 We worried about men. 22:19 If I wait too long a miss love 22:22 you realize time can mess up love 22:25 you mean if you are going to be married 22:26 for the next 65 years, you can wait two more months. 22:28 How y'all hear what I'm saying today? 22:30 Church The only thing that time kills is infatuation. 22:35 So you need to, no matter how many of the boxes it checks, 22:38 no matter how well it goes 22:39 for the first three months, 22:40 you still need to be still long enough 22:43 to see whether or not this thing comes from the Lord. 22:46 Are y'all with me today? Church 22:48 And so this is for the strange to us. 22:50 We don't really like celebrate because it seems strange to me 22:54 since somebody's a servant to find the wife for his son. 22:58 And then guess what? 22:58 He persuades her to come 23:01 and she gets on a donkey and she comes voluntarily, 23:05 leaves everything that she knows. 23:07 And when she sees him for the very first time, 23:11 she marries him. 23:14 At first sight. 23:18 And I thought about this thought the pilot, 23:20 and I thought to myself 23:23 that as Adventists 23:25 we are to believe in arranged marriages. 23:33 Now, when I say happiness, 23:34 I don't mean just SDR, but anybody that believes 23:38 that Jesus is coming again, you are to believe 23:41 in arranged marriages. 23:42 Let me say it again to y'all in the back 23:44 that if you believe that Jesus is coming again, 23:49 you ought to believe Mark in arranged marriages. 23:55 Now, see, the problem is some of us hadn't seen Jesus yet, 23:59 so see, we man, because all we see is a father 24:03 setting up a wedding for his son. 24:06 And he sends the helper to convince the bride 24:11 to come and marry a man that she's seeing for the first time. 24:15 Y'all still missed it. 24:16 See all y'all see as a father 24:19 arranging a marriage for his son and then sending a helper 24:24 to convince the bride to come 24:26 and marry a man that she see for the very first time. 24:31 Some of are the getting it to all. 24:33 Some see as a father that's preparing a wedding for the son. 24:38 So he sends a helper to convince the bride 24:43 to marry a man that she ain't never seen. 24:47 See all somebody sees as a father, 24:50 a son and a helper. 24:53 But if you study your Bible, 24:55 you don't just see a father, a son and a helper. 25:00 I see the father, 25:03 the Son and the Holy Ghost 25:07 because my father is 25:09 preparing a wedding for his son. 25:12 And so he sends the helper, 25:16 which is the Holy Ghost, to convince the bride, 25:20 which is the church, to come to the wedding piece 25:25 that's being prepared for his son. 25:27 And you're saying, Well, I know Jesus, but 25:30 the Bible says I have a thing is have not heard me 25:36 that has entered into the heart of any man, 25:39 that which God has prepared for his children. 25:42 And so the good news is that he got down on both knees 25:46 and proposed in the Garden of Gethsemane, 25:49 that he walked down the aisle on the way to Golgotha, 25:53 that he took his vows by not saying a word. 25:57 He didn't just stand before the altar, 26:00 but he lay down on the altar and it was there 26:03 at the cross that he wed himself to the church. 26:07 And he says, I'll take you 26:09 to I have and to 26:11 hope for good times and in bad times, 26:15 in sickness and in health, for richer and for poor. 26:19 And because he was raised, 26:22 death will never do your part. 26:25 Anybody thankful that the Holy Ghost 26:28 led you to the Sun so you can be a 26:31 part of the wedding feast that's about to take place? 26:35 Can you praise him that he's coming again? 26:40 That a wedding is being prepared? 26:42 He's preparing a place where you lift up 26:45 the trumpets loud ladies sing. 26:49 Jesus is coming again 26:52 be cheer up, you pilgrims be joyful and sing 26:56 Because Jesus, I said, My Jesus, 27:01 I said, you're Jesus. 27:04 I said, Our Jesus is here. 27:08 Jesus 27:10 is the bride getting ready? 27:12 Are you getting ready for the wedding, Chris? 27:15 Are you looking forward to your wedding day? 27:18 Are you making yourself ready? 27:20 I'm thankful that Jesus is coming. 27:26 He's coming again. 27:28 Take 10 seconds and give him praise. 27:32 Hallelujah, 27:35 hallelujah, hallelujah. 27:38 To the Lamb |
Revised 2025-02-26