#S056 What Every Man Needs
To Know About His Wife (Part 2)
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Welcome to the Breath of Life
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Television Ministries Broadcast
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with Pastor Debleaire Snell.
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In today's episode, Pastor
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Snell will continue with part
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two of the
powerful message titled
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What Every Man Needs to Know
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About His Woman.
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Now let's go deeper
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into the Word of God.
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In other words, friends,
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I need you to understand that
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we don't have to walk around,
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man, being all
extra and doing the most.
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I need you to
know that sometimes
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the greatest repellent
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from outside temptation
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is showing that
you happy at home.
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Oh, God.
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In other words, I
need you to know, man,
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your disposition, your.
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I need you to know
that there is an energy
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you put out into the world
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that hasn't spoken for.
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That I'm committed
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that I am about
this life right here.
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Y'all hear what
I'm saying today?
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Because I remember one day
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I was on a particular flight
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and I was traveling somewhere
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and there was a
sister next to me in my seat.
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And it crazy,
you know, I you know,
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I was not wearing
a ring at the time.
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And so, you know, she asked me,
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you know, where I was
heading and what I was doing.
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She was not
inappropriate in any way.
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But it's crazy
because after a while
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I open up my iPad
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and Gianna's picture
is plastered on my iPad.
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I put my phone
on the tray table.
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Her picture is
there on my table,
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and she asked me if I'm married.
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I'll say yes.
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I've been married
like 16 years at the time
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and we talked a little further,
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even though she
knew I was married.
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And then after a
while, you know what she said?
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She said, You seem like
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you're happy.
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And I said, Yeah,
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I am happily married.
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And when when
there was something
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about the energy
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that changed the whole nature
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of the interaction.
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Now know if I had a,
if I had a foul spirit,
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if I rolled my eyes
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when I said I was married.
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If I say, well, you know,
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I've been married
now about ten, you
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now again,
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maybe she was just curious,
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not accusing you
of anything wrong.
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But what I'm saying
is you got to be careful
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what you are
putting out into the world.
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Are you hearing what I'm saying?
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You ought to mention
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your wife's name
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in the conversation,
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even when it
doesn't belong there.
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You've just got
to figure out a way
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to put it into the atmosphere.
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Say, say
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you got to let it be
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clear and let it be known
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that you are spoken for
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and it goes both directions
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that makes
sense to both husbands
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and wives.
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All right.
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It's a red flag
when she expects you
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to be her counselor
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on heart matters.
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Come on, man,
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you ain't got no answers.
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Tell the truth and say, man, it.
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I mean, when you wound up
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having to be her
relationship counselor
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and even though it
may start platonic, Ms..
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I need you to.
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I may start in a
very innocent way.
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I need you to
understand that sometimes
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most entanglements
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are accidental,
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not intentional.
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All right.
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When you become
her, go to person.
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It's a red flag.
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This is a red
flag when she tries
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to form a relationship with you
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outside of your wife.
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In other words, whenever
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wife shows up to the job,
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she suddenly disappears.
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I need to know.
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Stand up to no
good if she's not trying
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to show respect for the covenant
that you've made that woman.
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Now you'll hear
what I'm saying today.
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Aren't there just times
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where we are out of position?
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There are times where, again,
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we're a little bit more
conservative in our home.
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But I want to
encourage you to be careful
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how you engage
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with female coworkers at work
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in terms of lunch
dates, things where at least
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it has the appearance of wrong.
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In other words.
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So if I'm going to visit Sister
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So-and-so in the evening,
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I'm going to say pass the dorsi
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right, pass the Rafale
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el to Taylor.
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I need you to go with me.
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Come on and say me.
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Because even though I'm
going to pray, guess what?
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Somebody drives by,
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sees my truck at 730 at night,
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and now I've got a
whole situation on Instagram.
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Y'all made it quiet today
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because you are
not going to the best.
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Come on and say, man, so.
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So you got to avoid
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even the appearance of evil.
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I hear what I'm saying.
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And one of the things
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that you got to pay attention to
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is when you're not accountable
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with your portals, see,
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some of us are going to allow
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our marriages to destruct
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on Instagram.
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In other words,
friends of mine, it's crazy.
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I'm not even saying
what you ought to do
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in your house in
terms of how you all get
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phone numbers and passwords
and codes and all that stuff.
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But I need you to
understand that transpired.
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Recy is your
friend, not your enemy.
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All right.
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And what I'm saying
is, if there ain't got
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if you ain't
got nothing to hide,
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stop hiding.
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Ooh, y'all got a tweet
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that today, man.
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If you ain't
got nothing to hide,
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stop hiding.
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All right?
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I want to. To become one.
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I'm not saying
there's no privacy,
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that you don't have
access to your own thoughts,
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the way you journal and
how some time to be still.
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But what I'm saying
is all that two and three
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cell phone stuff
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just means
you're out of position.
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You know, when
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when you might be in trouble,
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when your wife
says pay attention,
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when she sees something
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that you can't see.
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Oh, yeah, that's just my girl.
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We just cool.
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We went to school together.
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We grew up together.
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Okay.
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Okay.
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There are times
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where God has
given us a helpmate.
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Come on and say, man,
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that they are.
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They are perceptive.
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They are intuitive.
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They pick up on an
energy that sometimes
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male denseness
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is simply unable to detect.
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Can you just say, man, right.
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And I need us to understand
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that the slowest rebuild in
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marriage is a rebuild of trust.
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You can rebuild financially.
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You can rebuild
a house in a fire,
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but you realize
that once you lose trust,
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you'll be rebuilding it
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for the next 50 years.
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If you make it that long
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is fragile.
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Third thing she needs.
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She needs you to keep your mom
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and your friends in their place.
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Oh, Lord, I felt that.
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I felt that.
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Matthew 19 in verse
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five for this call, Solomon
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leave his father
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and mother and
cleave unto his wife,
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and the two shall become, what,
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one flesh?
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Now, the reason I
want to talk about this
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is that in the
African-American community,
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we have kind of an
interesting dynamic
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where literally,
probably about man, 55
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to 60% of our homes
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are led by single moms.
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But there is an
interesting dynamic
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that I see emerging
with some consistency
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where a single
mom has been both mom
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and dad for the boy
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he has poured into the boy,
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given everything to the boy,
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made that her
whole life about the boy.
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And now she's
raised him to a man.
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But somewhere
along the line he stopped
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being a son and
became surrogate husband.
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And now when it's time
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for him to get married, she's
trying to be in the wedding too.
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But I need to understand that
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if he is going to be married,
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there is a
shifting of the order.
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In other words, I know
you've always been there.
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You've always
been the number one.
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You've always been
there when nobody else was.
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But I need you to understand
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that even though you may
have been here in relationship
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to all of the women, once
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he gets down on one knee,
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there is an automatic shifting
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of priority
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where that's
even in the Scripture.
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I hear what I'm saying.
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The Bible says he has to leave
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his father in his mother's house
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and he has to be joined fast
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and cleave unto his wife.
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So so I need you to
understand, at some point,
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Mama's going to have to get
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a man or ministry
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to occupy her time.
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Because even though marriage
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has room for three,
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it's husband, wife and Jesus,
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not husband, wife and mommy.
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I hear what I'm saying.
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And see, husbands, if
you're going to be strong
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in your leadership,
your wife ought not ever
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be having to check your mama
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are your friends.
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In other words, you ought
to put some guardrails up.
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You ought to put
some boundaries up.
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You ought to put some barriers
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up that kind of says
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you can come
here and no further.
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And it doesn't matter what
you do in your house, friend.
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It doesn't matter
what we saw growing up.
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Me and this woman are going
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to establish an
order for this home
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that nobody else has to approve
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except those who live there.
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All right.
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And so what I'm saying is
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you don't always
have to replicate it
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just the way you
saw it growing up.
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You don't necessarily
have to get outside approval
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when it comes to certain malls,
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when you're
going to buy a house,
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when you go to
move to a certain place.
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In other words,
I need you to know,
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husband, man,
when you got to make a
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major decision, you ought not
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be talking to your mama
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before you talk to your savior.
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Oh, God.
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You ought not be
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asking her before you ask him.
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And the first woman
you ought to talk to
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ought to be the one in your bed.
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I hear what I'm saying.
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All right, so you got to
put some boundaries in place
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and you've got to establish
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an order in the home.
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And let me just say this.
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Not only do you
need to put your mom
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and your friends
in place, guess what?
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If you've got some
previous relationship stuff,
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you got to put your baby mama
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or your ex-wife in her place.
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Oh, I'll say amen all by myself.
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I'm going to say this again,
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so I'll have to say
it to you in my office.
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Put your baby mama
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and your ex-wife
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in her place, and
let me just force and say
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to any single
man who is watching,
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you don't even
need to be entertaining
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getting married
00:09:37.97\00:09:40.24
if you still got open
00:09:40.28\00:09:41.54
source with another woman.
00:09:41.58\00:09:46.05
In other words, if
that stuff is too fresh
00:09:46.08\00:09:48.88
and that baby.
00:09:48.92\00:09:49.68
But six months.
00:09:49.72\00:09:50.49
Oh, you are not
hearing me today.
00:09:50.52\00:09:52.49
If that baby ain't
00:09:52.52\00:09:54.02
but a year that you need to let
00:09:54.06\00:09:55.69
some stuff get tied off.
00:09:55.72\00:09:58.59
Because what you're doing is
00:09:58.63\00:10:00.03
you bring in some drama
00:10:00.06\00:10:01.50
and some stress.
00:10:01.53\00:10:02.70
And it's crazy
because your new wife,
00:10:02.73\00:10:04.17
she knew that you had some past.
00:10:04.20\00:10:05.87
She knew, but she didn't
know what she signed up for
00:10:05.90\00:10:08.24
until after she
signed the papers.
00:10:08.27\00:10:12.11
So you got to manage
00:10:12.14\00:10:13.24
certain things.
00:10:13.27\00:10:14.48
You got to put it in place.
00:10:14.51\00:10:16.28
You can't be torn.
00:10:16.31\00:10:18.05
There's going to
have to be some hard
00:10:18.08\00:10:19.85
and difficult conversations.
00:10:19.88\00:10:22.38
Are y'all hear what I'm saying?
00:10:22.42\00:10:24.32
Because you
cannot allow your past
00:10:24.35\00:10:27.29
to destroy your future.
00:10:27.32\00:10:28.82
Can the church say amen today?
00:10:28.86\00:10:30.66
All right.
00:10:30.69\00:10:31.66
For things
00:10:31.69\00:10:32.63
she needs, you know,
she needs you to help
00:10:32.66\00:10:33.76
at home.
00:10:33.80\00:10:36.77
Amen.
00:10:36.80\00:10:38.23
She needs you to help at home.
00:10:38.27\00:10:39.77
All right. We work hard.
00:10:39.80\00:10:41.50
You give a lot
out into the world,
00:10:41.54\00:10:43.27
but I need you to make sure
00:10:43.30\00:10:44.54
that we give something
00:10:44.57\00:10:45.87
to the houses that God
00:10:45.91\00:10:47.21
has ordained for us to govern.
00:10:47.24\00:10:50.05
And I think many of
our ladies have moved
00:10:50.08\00:10:51.58
and many of our brothers
00:10:51.61\00:10:52.51
are being a little
bit more progressive.
00:10:52.55\00:10:53.62
But guess what?
00:10:53.65\00:10:54.32
You got to make a contribution
00:10:54.35\00:10:55.52
somewhere at the house
00:10:55.55\00:10:57.39
that you ought to set
aside 20 minutes a day
00:10:57.42\00:10:59.59
to make a
contribution to the bathroom.
00:10:59.62\00:11:01.92
At least if you're going
to pee all over the toilet,
00:11:01.96\00:11:04.06
wipe it up.
00:11:04.09\00:11:09.43
Come on, sisters.
00:11:09.46\00:11:10.43
You put a big
offering in Detroit right now.
00:11:10.47\00:11:11.63
Put a big case at the church.
00:11:11.67\00:11:13.44
Hey, man.
00:11:13.47\00:11:14.34
All right, at least wash the
00:11:15.00\00:11:16.37
dishes that you dirtied up.
00:11:16.40\00:11:19.24
Come on, man,
00:11:19.27\00:11:20.81
and let's pick up
00:11:20.84\00:11:21.61
your own drawers off the floor.
00:11:21.64\00:11:22.91
I can. I got a
witness out of it.
00:11:22.94\00:11:24.25
Thank you, Horace.
00:11:24.28\00:11:24.95
Let me.
00:11:24.98\00:11:26.78
You know
00:11:26.82\00:11:27.48
you want to touch your own stuff
00:11:27.52\00:11:28.75
if she needs you
00:11:28.78\00:11:30.62
to be present
and active at home.
00:11:30.65\00:11:32.25
In other words, raising
00:11:32.29\00:11:33.46
the kids is not the woman's job.
00:11:33.49\00:11:36.16
And the white
00:11:36.19\00:11:37.26
makes it very clear that
that is a combined effort
00:11:37.29\00:11:40.63
where both husband and wife,
00:11:41.26\00:11:42.43
they both sacrificed.
00:11:42.46\00:11:43.93
They both make time,
00:11:43.97\00:11:45.53
they both give intentionality.
00:11:45.57\00:11:47.67
In other words, you
can't give your best
00:11:48.54\00:11:49.97
offering to the world
00:11:50.01\00:11:51.34
and your lease offering
00:11:51.37\00:11:52.54
to the house.
00:11:52.57\00:11:54.54
Come on, say that
with me today, brothers.
00:11:54.58\00:11:56.48
And the truth is
00:11:56.51\00:11:57.28
that if you help lighten her
00:11:57.31\00:11:58.55
load.
00:11:58.58\00:12:03.42
Come on.
00:12:03.45\00:12:04.29
This is how I'm
trying to help you.
00:12:04.32\00:12:06.22
If you help
00:12:06.25\00:12:06.92
lighten her load, you'll see.
00:12:06.96\00:12:09.52
I'll still it.
Get it? You also like.
00:12:09.56\00:12:10.63
Oh, where is that? In the Bible.
00:12:10.66\00:12:11.96
All right, if
you help lighten her
00:12:11.99\00:12:13.70
load,
00:12:13.73\00:12:15.70
then later on,
00:12:15.73\00:12:22.44
she'll help lighten your load.
00:12:22.47\00:12:24.51
David
00:12:24.54\00:12:25.14
All right,
00:12:25.17\00:12:27.94
see, I have to incentivize
00:12:27.98\00:12:29.11
the brothers with
the right thing. Get
00:12:29.14\00:12:32.15
15 real quick.
00:12:32.18\00:12:33.52
She desirous for you to lead,
00:12:33.55\00:12:35.78
not dictate.
00:12:35.82\00:12:38.39
Okay, so we all kind of twisted
00:12:38.42\00:12:40.92
and put in knots
about the whole thing.
00:12:40.96\00:12:42.32
But submission hasn't been hit.
00:12:42.36\00:12:44.03
Ephesians five in verse
00:12:44.06\00:12:45.19
23 Bible say for
00:12:45.23\00:12:46.56
the husband is
the head of the wife
00:12:46.59\00:12:48.70
even as Christ
00:12:48.73\00:12:49.96
is the head of the church, and
he is the Savior of the body.
00:12:50.00\00:12:52.77
So that when we
talk about headship man,
00:12:53.64\00:12:54.57
we get all in knots
because we look at it
00:12:54.60\00:12:56.64
in the context
of secular culture
00:12:57.44\00:12:58.94
where there is a hierarchy
00:12:59.57\00:13:00.91
one on top and
others at the bottom.
00:13:00.94\00:13:02.64
I need you to
know that in Christ
00:13:02.68\00:13:04.08
there are not hierarchies,
00:13:04.11\00:13:05.58
there's roles, right?
00:13:05.61\00:13:08.88
In other words, God
00:13:08.92\00:13:09.78
did not set one
00:13:09.82\00:13:11.02
above or superior to the next
00:13:11.05\00:13:14.69
is even seen in
the created order.
00:13:14.72\00:13:16.12
You've heard us
kind of talk about
00:13:16.16\00:13:17.33
how when God created
00:13:17.36\00:13:18.83
Eve in
relationship to Adam, she didn't
00:13:18.86\00:13:20.93
God did not take a bone
00:13:20.96\00:13:22.10
from Adam's head
00:13:22.13\00:13:24.07
because she was not supposed
00:13:24.73\00:13:25.40
to rule over our dominate Adam.
00:13:25.43\00:13:27.90
He didn't take a
bone from Adam's foot
00:13:27.94\00:13:29.77
because Adam was not supposed
00:13:29.80\00:13:31.14
to walk all over her.
00:13:31.17\00:13:32.94
He took a bone from Adam son
00:13:32.97\00:13:35.41
because she was
supposed to walk with him.
00:13:35.44\00:13:37.28
An equal partnership,
00:13:37.31\00:13:39.21
bringing equal
value to the relationship.
00:13:39.25\00:13:41.72
I hear what I'm saying.
00:13:41.75\00:13:43.28
So many crisis.
00:13:43.32\00:13:44.52
The husband is the head
00:13:44.55\00:13:45.65
of the wife even as Christ
is the head of the church.
00:13:45.69\00:13:48.19
I need to look at
it in the Bible context
00:13:49.12\00:13:50.49
because the model
for headship is Jesus,
00:13:50.53\00:13:55.86
so that Jesus is a gentle,
00:13:55.90\00:13:58.37
loving Lord.
00:13:58.40\00:14:00.20
He is not a
00:14:00.24\00:14:01.07
harsh, exacting dictator,
00:14:01.10\00:14:04.04
so that even Jesus
00:14:04.07\00:14:05.84
allows the power of choice.
00:14:05.87\00:14:08.38
Do you realize that
00:14:08.41\00:14:09.41
even we're in this whole mess
00:14:09.44\00:14:10.88
because man, God
00:14:10.91\00:14:12.15
said, Listen, man, the one area
00:14:12.18\00:14:13.95
that even I as God
00:14:13.98\00:14:15.68
am never going to
intervene in, I'm never going
00:14:15.72\00:14:18.32
even try trying to
intervene and override
00:14:19.25\00:14:20.46
conscious decision.
00:14:20.99\00:14:23.26
He says, I'm
00:14:23.66\00:14:24.33
gonna let Lucifer be Lucifer.
00:14:24.36\00:14:25.23
I'm going to Adam
and Adam be at Adam.
00:14:25.26\00:14:26.70
Adam and Eve be Adam and Eve,
00:14:26.73\00:14:28.00
and I'm going to let them deal
00:14:28.03\00:14:29.20
with certain consequences.
00:14:29.23\00:14:31.07
So she needs you to be a leader
00:14:31.10\00:14:32.63
and not a dictator.
00:14:32.67\00:14:34.20
Now, one of the
things I do want to say
00:14:34.24\00:14:35.40
quickly about leadership
and I want to say this
00:14:35.44\00:14:37.34
with intentional redundancy,
00:14:37.37\00:14:38.91
that leadership is not
00:14:38.94\00:14:40.08
ultimate authority,
00:14:40.11\00:14:41.31
is ultimate responsibility.
00:14:41.34\00:14:44.35
Okay, brothers, let me say, man,
00:14:44.38\00:14:46.85
leadership is not
00:14:46.88\00:14:47.72
ultimate authority.
00:14:47.75\00:14:49.42
It is ultimate responsibility.
00:14:49.45\00:14:51.79
In other words,
00:14:51.82\00:14:52.65
leadership man is
literally where man
00:14:52.69\00:14:54.86
as as the leader of the home.
00:14:54.89\00:14:56.76
I literally set a pace
00:14:56.79\00:14:58.73
and I am
ultimately accountable by God.
00:14:58.76\00:15:01.10
In other words, you see
it in a very created order.
00:15:02.23\00:15:03.06
It's where Eve
eats the fruit first.
00:15:03.10\00:15:05.17
But when God
shows up in the garden,
00:15:06.03\00:15:08.04
you know you don't ask for Eve.
00:15:08.07\00:15:10.64
He says, Adam, where are you?
00:15:10.67\00:15:13.27
And she don't walk around
00:15:13.31\00:15:14.44
trying to claim authority
if you're not going to walk
00:15:14.48\00:15:17.01
with the
responsibility, are you?
00:15:17.05\00:15:19.81
Hear what I'm saying?
00:15:19.85\00:15:21.22
And see, I need
to understand this
00:15:21.25\00:15:22.82
about leadership.
00:15:22.85\00:15:24.12
Leadership,
00:15:24.15\00:15:25.15
especially when we talk about
00:15:25.19\00:15:26.22
spiritual leadership,
00:15:26.25\00:15:27.72
leadership is
not about the orders
00:15:27.76\00:15:29.89
I give.
00:15:29.92\00:15:31.86
It's about the climate I set.
00:15:31.89\00:15:36.97
In other words,
spiritually, like I don't
00:15:37.00\00:15:39.40
you know, you don't walk
around giving in in the house.
00:15:39.43\00:15:41.70
You don't walk the walk around
00:15:41.74\00:15:43.00
telling people what to wear
00:15:43.04\00:15:45.44
if you set the
00:15:45.47\00:15:46.14
temperature at a certain level,
00:15:46.17\00:15:48.78
oh, you'll not hear me
00:15:48.81\00:15:50.31
set the
temperature at a certain level.
00:15:50.35\00:15:52.01
It'll dictate what people put on
00:15:52.05\00:15:54.65
so that if you
turn the temperature up
00:15:54.68\00:15:56.42
high and hot, guess what?
00:15:56.45\00:15:58.05
People going to
automatically start undressing.
00:15:58.09\00:16:00.39
If you get it really
cold, people are going
00:16:00.42\00:16:02.39
to start layering up.
00:16:02.42\00:16:03.69
So guess what?
00:16:03.73\00:16:04.83
I don't have to walk
around saying put on this thing
00:16:04.86\00:16:06.36
all that.
00:16:06.39\00:16:07.00
I just set a temperature,
00:16:07.03\00:16:08.96
I set a climate.
00:16:09.00\00:16:10.43
And as the husband and
the leader of the home,
00:16:10.47\00:16:12.63
you set a spiritual climate
00:16:12.67\00:16:14.77
that doesn't dictate
00:16:14.80\00:16:15.97
exactly what everybody wears,
00:16:16.00\00:16:17.97
but it makes it conducive
00:16:18.01\00:16:19.54
for people to
warm up spiritually.
00:16:19.57\00:16:22.91
Are you saying
00:16:22.94\00:16:23.61
what I'm saying today, friends
00:16:23.65\00:16:25.01
and what I'm saying to us
00:16:25.05\00:16:26.05
today, friends of mine
is I need to understand
00:16:26.08\00:16:27.68
that when we are loving, like
00:16:27.72\00:16:29.12
Christ loves, submission isn't a
00:16:29.15\00:16:31.89
requirement, it's a reaction.
00:16:31.92\00:16:36.52
It is the
00:16:36.56\00:16:37.06
incidental byproduct
00:16:37.09\00:16:38.23
of when a woman is
loved by her husband
00:16:38.26\00:16:40.56
in the same way Christ
loves the church as you.
00:16:41.53\00:16:42.63
The craziest thing,
man, I've been pastor
00:16:42.66\00:16:44.20
now for a little
over 20 some odd years.
00:16:44.23\00:16:46.07
I need to know in all
the releases of counseling
00:16:46.10\00:16:48.07
I've never done, I've never seen
00:16:48.10\00:16:49.64
a woman show
frustration because her husband
00:16:49.67\00:16:52.01
won't let her leave.
00:16:52.04\00:16:55.44
Out of all the
complaints I've ever got,
00:16:55.48\00:16:56.88
I've never heard
a woman say, Man,
00:16:56.91\00:16:58.11
I'm just so upset, man.
00:16:58.15\00:16:59.21
He just won't get on the page
00:16:59.25\00:17:00.72
that I'm all
00:17:00.75\00:17:01.72
he just won't follow my life.
00:17:02.42\00:17:03.22
And that, in fact, most
00:17:03.25\00:17:04.35
frustration is simply a response
00:17:04.39\00:17:06.86
to his lack of willingness
00:17:06.89\00:17:08.96
to take the lead.
00:17:08.99\00:17:11.49
In other words, she's frustrated
00:17:11.53\00:17:12.86
that she has to play her role
00:17:12.89\00:17:14.36
and yours at the same time.
00:17:14.40\00:17:17.07
And what I'm
00:17:17.10\00:17:17.93
saying to us
today, friends of mine,
00:17:17.97\00:17:18.73
there are some specific ways
00:17:18.77\00:17:19.93
that God is calling us to lead.
00:17:19.97\00:17:21.74
In fact, one of
the things we got to do
00:17:21.77\00:17:23.10
is we got to lead
spiritually in the home.
00:17:23.14\00:17:24.97
Amen.
00:17:25.01\00:17:25.91
No, no.
00:17:26.21\00:17:26.61
Amen, brothers.
00:17:26.64\00:17:27.48
Amen.
00:17:27.51\00:17:29.11
There needs to be a rebuilding
00:17:29.14\00:17:31.65
of the family altar
00:17:32.18\00:17:33.48
in the houses of Israel.
00:17:33.52\00:17:35.58
One of the problems
00:17:35.62\00:17:36.65
is, man, we got a man, Kate.
00:17:36.69\00:17:38.45
We got an 80 inch television.
00:17:38.49\00:17:40.36
We got every
video game known to man.
00:17:40.39\00:17:42.76
But we ain't got
nowhere where we can call
00:17:43.66\00:17:45.23
on the name of the Lord.
00:17:45.26\00:17:47.30
And we wondering why the enemy
00:17:47.96\00:17:49.33
is running roughshod
00:17:49.36\00:17:50.70
all over the house is why
00:17:50.73\00:17:52.00
the kid's teeth are set on edge.
00:17:52.03\00:17:54.07
What every device
00:17:54.10\00:17:55.30
the enemy plant succeeds.
00:17:55.34\00:17:56.84
It is because there
is no spiritual covering.
00:17:56.87\00:17:59.37
There is no anointing.
00:17:59.41\00:18:00.91
The devil feels too
00:18:00.94\00:18:02.24
comfortable in your house.
00:18:02.28\00:18:05.85
He ain't
00:18:05.88\00:18:06.41
intimidated by nothing
00:18:06.45\00:18:07.62
that goes on there
00:18:07.65\00:18:09.42
because there is
nothing that interrupt
00:18:09.45\00:18:11.59
or disrupt the presence of evil
00:18:11.62\00:18:13.92
or iniquity in your home.
00:18:13.96\00:18:17.26
There is no family altar.
00:18:17.29\00:18:19.79
And what I'm saying
to us, I need you to know
00:18:19.83\00:18:21.46
it is not enough for us
to go to church once a week.
00:18:21.50\00:18:24.67
That does not make you
00:18:24.70\00:18:26.13
a Christian home.
00:18:26.17\00:18:27.50
It literally means
00:18:27.54\00:18:28.67
that you're a
Christian home and culture.
00:18:28.70\00:18:31.07
But a Christian home is one
00:18:31.11\00:18:32.61
where there is prayer every day,
00:18:32.64\00:18:34.81
where the Word of God can be
00:18:34.84\00:18:36.51
heard in study,
where the children
00:18:36.54\00:18:39.08
are not converted
00:18:39.11\00:18:40.28
in a Sabbath
school class or a sermon.
00:18:40.32\00:18:42.78
Spiritual children
00:18:42.82\00:18:43.92
either to get converted at home.
00:18:43.95\00:18:48.29
You'll hear what
I'm saying today.
00:18:48.32\00:18:50.09
And what I'm saying is
00:18:50.13\00:18:50.99
when the order gets inverted,
00:18:51.03\00:18:52.83
there's going to be resentment
00:18:52.86\00:18:54.46
when she has to be
the spiritual lead,
00:18:54.50\00:18:56.60
when that's the
task she hired you to do.
00:18:56.63\00:19:01.04
I need you to
understand, especially
00:19:01.07\00:19:02.40
if God is giving
you a godly woman.
00:19:02.44\00:19:04.41
See, a godly woman is
going to always struggle
00:19:04.44\00:19:06.41
to respect a crooked man.
00:19:06.44\00:19:09.98
No, no.
00:19:10.01\00:19:10.91
A straight woman is
going always struggle
00:19:10.95\00:19:11.75
to follow a crooked man.
00:19:11.78\00:19:14.38
In other words, are
you gonna hear me today?
00:19:14.42\00:19:16.85
It's the only thing
00:19:16.89\00:19:18.29
worse than the blind.
00:19:18.32\00:19:19.69
Leading the blind
00:19:19.72\00:19:21.69
is the blind leading the seeing
00:19:21.72\00:19:27.86
so that if she can see the way
00:19:27.93\00:19:29.73
spiritually better than you can,
00:19:29.76\00:19:32.17
there ain't no way
00:19:32.20\00:19:33.27
you can lead her.
00:19:33.30\00:19:35.40
I can't hear what I'm saying.
00:19:35.44\00:19:37.41
No, no, no, no, no.
00:19:37.44\00:19:38.24
I'm there.
00:19:38.27\00:19:38.94
I don't know if you'll hear me.
00:19:38.97\00:19:39.97
The only thing worse
than the blinding lights.
00:19:40.01\00:19:41.58
Blind, blinding, seeing.
00:19:41.61\00:19:42.68
I remember I was pastoring
in Lexington, Kentucky.
00:19:42.71\00:19:44.08
My time is up, but I
remember we were getting ready.
00:19:44.11\00:19:46.11
We were on church basketball
game over in Louisville.
00:19:46.15\00:19:48.42
We were living in Lexington.
00:19:48.45\00:19:49.68
We were supposed
to get in a caravan.
00:19:49.72\00:19:51.35
When we got in the caravan,
00:19:51.39\00:19:52.55
we were supposed
to stay together.
00:19:52.59\00:19:53.76
No matter what.
00:19:53.79\00:19:54.46
I literally gave the instruction
00:19:54.49\00:19:55.99
at the
McDonald's, no matter what.
00:19:56.02\00:19:57.63
Man We're going
to follow the lead.
00:19:57.66\00:19:58.83
Van, don't
nobody go their own way.
00:19:58.86\00:20:00.86
Everybody's going stay in
submission to the lead van.
00:20:00.90\00:20:03.67
But we were
supposed to get on Highway 64
00:20:04.60\00:20:06.43
and go east back to Lexington.
00:20:07.14\00:20:08.57
On the third van in
line, I gave the speech.
00:20:09.57\00:20:11.37
We stay together no matter what.
00:20:11.41\00:20:13.11
But the crazy thing
is, for some odd reason,
00:20:13.14\00:20:15.28
the lead van
gets on 64 and starts
00:20:16.04\00:20:17.61
going west in
the wrong direction.
00:20:17.65\00:20:19.88
And it's crazy because
man, it's hard to follow
00:20:20.85\00:20:22.92
somebody that
you know is leading
00:20:22.95\00:20:25.55
you the wrong way.
00:20:25.59\00:20:26.89
And even though I said
We're going to stay together
00:20:26.92\00:20:29.26
no matter what,
we're going to covenant
00:20:29.29\00:20:31.09
to stay together, no matter
00:20:31.13\00:20:32.36
which way we go, man.
00:20:32.39\00:20:33.76
Somehow my spirit
just got possessed
00:20:33.80\00:20:37.47
and I started going east.
00:20:37.50\00:20:39.63
When he started going west
00:20:39.67\00:20:42.10
because there is something
00:20:42.14\00:20:43.61
counterintuitive.
00:20:43.64\00:20:46.57
You just can't follow somebody
00:20:46.61\00:20:49.51
when you know
00:20:49.54\00:20:50.21
they leading you the wrong way.
00:20:50.25\00:20:52.48
I got here what I'm saying,
00:20:52.51\00:20:54.45
and always as I'm
moving here quickly,
00:20:54.48\00:20:56.38
I need to know that you
got to lead spiritually.
00:20:56.42\00:20:58.55
Let me say this.
00:20:58.99\00:20:59.65
You've got to lead an example.
00:20:59.69\00:21:00.66
Keep your promises.
00:21:00.69\00:21:03.36
And these are not a part
of leadership, is making sure
00:21:03.39\00:21:05.86
that your words
and actions align.
00:21:05.89\00:21:09.30
Don't just say stuff.
00:21:09.33\00:21:10.63
So she'll set up,
especially if you know
00:21:10.67\00:21:15.77
you have no
intention on doing it.
00:21:15.80\00:21:18.31
Lead in conversation,
00:21:18.34\00:21:19.94
lead in conflict resolution.
00:21:19.97\00:21:21.71
Come on and say, man,
00:21:21.74\00:21:23.08
this last
thing, I'm a stop here.
00:21:23.11\00:21:24.18
My time is way.
00:21:24.21\00:21:25.11
One of the things I
want to say is she needs
00:21:25.15\00:21:26.72
to be romanced.
00:21:26.75\00:21:29.28
Hey, man,
00:21:29.32\00:21:31.22
listen, I'm done.
00:21:31.25\00:21:32.09
Listen.
00:21:32.12\00:21:32.92
But I need you
to understand this,
00:21:32.95\00:21:33.89
so I need to
understand this about romance.
00:21:33.92\00:21:35.52
And again, I'm still learning.
00:21:35.56\00:21:36.76
This was myself.
00:21:36.79\00:21:37.63
So again, I'm
preaching this to me.
00:21:37.66\00:21:39.06
Right?
00:21:39.09\00:21:39.59
But romance,
when you heard this,
00:21:40.40\00:21:42.16
you heard expense.
00:21:42.20\00:21:44.70
Romance.
00:21:45.23\00:21:45.90
It's not expense, it's effort.
00:21:45.93\00:21:49.17
Oh, yes.
00:21:49.20\00:21:49.70
Tweet that one, too.
00:21:49.74\00:21:50.94
It's effort.
00:21:50.97\00:21:52.81
So again, it is
00:21:52.84\00:21:53.51
those little things that we do.
00:21:53.54\00:21:56.11
I mean, come on.
00:21:56.14\00:21:56.81
Because when y'all got married,
00:21:56.85\00:21:58.05
you ain't had no money
00:21:58.08\00:22:01.55
and you were able to get her
00:22:01.58\00:22:02.48
come on and say, man.
00:22:02.52\00:22:04.12
So what I'm saying is
00:22:04.15\00:22:05.22
there are some little
things that you can do, man.
00:22:05.25\00:22:06.96
I love you.
00:22:06.99\00:22:07.66
You know, the text that says,
00:22:07.69\00:22:09.19
I'm thinking about you
00:22:09.22\00:22:10.39
occasionally stop by home,
00:22:10.43\00:22:12.43
by the store
00:22:12.46\00:22:13.26
and get some
flowers on the way home.
00:22:13.29\00:22:14.46
And guess what?
00:22:14.50\00:22:15.46
If you ain't got no
money, just walk through
00:22:15.50\00:22:16.56
your neighbor's
front yard and get some
00:22:16.60\00:22:21.90
she won't know.
00:22:21.94\00:22:22.64
I mean, and it's crazy
00:22:22.67\00:22:28.21
because men were
saying, oh, man, got married
00:22:28.24\00:22:30.48
and she just change this.
00:22:30.51\00:22:33.42
She just change or did
00:22:33.45\00:22:34.82
we just stop trying?
00:22:34.85\00:22:37.92
Did we stop putting in the
00:22:37.95\00:22:39.12
needed and necessary effort?
00:22:39.15\00:22:41.52
And what I'm saying
00:22:41.56\00:22:42.26
to the men of God today
00:22:42.29\00:22:43.79
and I know this was
kind of a heavy dose today,
00:22:43.83\00:22:46.39
but guess what?
00:22:46.83\00:22:47.76
The ladies are going
get theirs next week.
00:22:47.76\00:22:48.56
Come on and say,
man, but what I'm
00:22:48.60\00:22:51.40
what I'm calling us to friends
00:22:52.10\00:22:53.17
is a biblical standard of love
00:22:53.20\00:22:56.81
that is not based on feeling,
00:22:56.84\00:22:59.27
that is not based upon emotion,
00:22:59.31\00:23:01.88
but it is a steady
00:23:01.91\00:23:03.71
and steadfast principle
00:23:03.75\00:23:06.25
that has no expiration date.
00:23:06.28\00:23:10.59
And what I'm saying to us,
00:23:10.62\00:23:11.82
friends of mine, is that
00:23:11.85\00:23:13.42
marriage needs a new witness.
00:23:13.46\00:23:17.56
It needs a new face real quick.
00:23:17.59\00:23:20.33
That's our hands.
00:23:20.36\00:23:21.10
How many of us
have been married?
00:23:21.13\00:23:21.80
At least ten years.
00:23:21.83\00:23:24.47
20 years?
00:23:24.83\00:23:25.23
Raise your hand.
00:23:25.27\00:23:26.57
30 years.
00:23:26.60\00:23:27.17
Raise your hand.
00:23:27.20\00:23:28.67
40 years.
00:23:28.70\00:23:29.24
Raise your hand
00:23:29.27\00:23:31.11
50 years.
00:23:31.14\00:23:31.71
Raise your hand
00:23:31.74\00:23:33.31
60 years.
00:23:33.34\00:23:34.08
Please raise your hand.
00:23:34.11\00:23:37.31
Go ahead and praise
the Lord together today.
00:23:37.35\00:23:39.18
Hey, man.
00:23:39.21\00:23:43.92
And see, this is kind of
00:23:43.95\00:23:45.52
the whole point.
00:23:45.55\00:23:46.62
See, society
00:23:46.65\00:23:47.52
and culture has us thinking
00:23:47.56\00:23:48.86
that it's an impossible thing
00:23:48.89\00:23:51.99
that is outdated and irrelevant.
00:23:52.03\00:23:53.90
But I need you
know, we've got monuments
00:23:53.93\00:23:55.66
all throughout this congregation
00:23:55.70\00:23:58.03
that says
00:23:58.07\00:23:58.87
if a husband
submits himself to God
00:23:58.90\00:24:00.74
and a woman
submits herself to God
00:24:00.77\00:24:02.54
and they submit themselves
00:24:02.57\00:24:03.74
to one another, not only can
00:24:03.77\00:24:05.54
they just survive,
00:24:05.57\00:24:06.74
they can thrive with
the help of the Lord.
00:24:06.78\00:24:09.41
Are y'all
hearing what I'm saying?
00:24:09.44\00:24:11.25
But what I'm saying,
these friends, is that we want
00:24:11.28\00:24:13.11
to get out of our feelings,
00:24:13.15\00:24:16.99
because if you only do it
00:24:17.02\00:24:18.15
when you feel like doing it,
00:24:18.19\00:24:20.82
you won't make it very long.
00:24:20.86\00:24:23.36
So, husbands,
00:24:23.39\00:24:24.39
we got to get up and
we got to lead with prayer
00:24:24.43\00:24:26.33
even when we don't feel like
00:24:26.36\00:24:28.13
doing it, man,
00:24:28.16\00:24:30.90
you know, it's been a long day
00:24:30.93\00:24:33.23
and you're tired.
00:24:33.27\00:24:35.40
She got a lot to say about
00:24:35.44\00:24:36.57
how her day went,
00:24:36.60\00:24:40.48
and all you want
to do is watch to get.
00:24:40.51\00:24:45.18
We got to listen even when
we don't feel like listening.
00:24:45.21\00:24:48.62
Amen.
00:24:48.65\00:24:53.96
We got to serve
00:24:53.99\00:24:54.82
even when we
don't feel like serving.
00:24:54.86\00:24:58.16
Even certain friendships
00:24:58.19\00:24:59.59
and an in people
00:24:59.63\00:25:01.23
that we need to put
a boundary in a wall.
00:25:01.26\00:25:02.93
We're not discarding them.
00:25:02.96\00:25:03.97
We're not
cutting them out a lot.
00:25:04.00\00:25:05.20
But we say, no, this is your
place in relationship to her.
00:25:05.23\00:25:07.37
You got to do it even
when you don't feel like
00:25:08.40\00:25:09.47
doing those things.
00:25:09.50\00:25:11.31
And what I'm
saying to somebody today
00:25:11.34\00:25:12.77
is that when you have strong,
00:25:12.81\00:25:14.24
firm principle, great, powerful,
00:25:14.28\00:25:17.18
fruitful feelings
00:25:17.21\00:25:18.38
of connectedness flow
00:25:18.41\00:25:19.58
out of the principal,
00:25:19.61\00:25:20.88
and they will
never be a substitute
00:25:20.92\00:25:24.05
for the principal.
00:25:24.09\00:25:25.32
You've got to get the principal
00:25:25.35\00:25:26.42
out of the passenger seat
00:25:26.45\00:25:28.59
and put it in the driver's seat
00:25:28.62\00:25:30.99
and take the feeling
00:25:31.03\00:25:32.09
out of the driver's
seat and put it over
00:25:32.13\00:25:34.13
in the passenger seat.
00:25:34.20\00:25:35.36
How many of us
believe the word of God
00:25:35.40\00:25:39.20
what's good family.
00:25:39.23\00:25:40.57
It's time for a celebration.
00:25:40.60\00:25:43.00
This past year,
00:25:43.44\00:25:44.51
you joined a breath of life
00:25:44.54\00:25:45.61
as we went on our tour
00:25:45.64\00:25:47.11
of the Holy Land,
00:25:47.14\00:25:48.38
we went to the places where
00:25:48.41\00:25:49.74
Jesus walked,
00:25:49.78\00:25:51.05
live, ministered, died,
00:25:51.08\00:25:53.05
and he was raised.
00:25:53.08\00:25:54.58
It was an epic time of worship
00:25:54.62\00:25:56.38
and fellowship, but this year
00:25:56.42\00:25:58.72
we're going to
do it even bigger.
00:25:59.52\00:26:01.49
In 2024, Breath of Life is going
00:26:01.52\00:26:04.23
to commemorate 50
years of ministry.
00:26:04.26\00:26:07.30
This year, long
celebration is going to include
00:26:07.30\00:26:10.20
evangelistic, revivals, concerts
00:26:10.23\00:26:12.80
and so much more.
00:26:12.83\00:26:14.57
But we're so excited
00:26:14.60\00:26:16.07
to have you join us
00:26:16.10\00:26:17.31
for our Breath of Life
00:26:17.34\00:26:18.54
Legacy Cruise.
00:26:18.57\00:26:20.01
On September the 12th,
00:26:20.04\00:26:21.71
we're going to land
00:26:21.74\00:26:22.88
in the gorgeous city of Rome,
00:26:22.91\00:26:25.15
that Sabbath.
00:26:25.18\00:26:25.95
We're going to have our joint
00:26:25.98\00:26:27.25
worship experience.
00:26:27.28\00:26:28.62
And that Saturday evening,
00:26:28.65\00:26:30.29
we're going to
go out on a historic
00:26:30.32\00:26:32.22
excursion.
00:26:32.25\00:26:33.46
That Sunday, we're
going to hit the high seas.
00:26:33.49\00:26:36.69
And for the next seven
days, we're going to follow
00:26:36.73\00:26:39.19
the evangelistic path of Paul,
00:26:39.23\00:26:41.83
along with the apostles
00:26:42.40\00:26:43.50
of Jesus Christ.
00:26:43.53\00:26:44.93
We're going to see ancient
00:26:44.97\00:26:46.90
Ephesus.
00:26:46.94\00:26:48.04
We're going to
visit Naples, Italy.
00:26:48.07\00:26:50.27
We're going to witness
00:26:50.84\00:26:51.37
the beauty of Greece.
00:26:51.41\00:26:53.38
All the while,
00:26:53.41\00:26:54.24
we're going to
stand in all of God's
00:26:54.28\00:26:56.08
wonders creation
00:26:56.11\00:26:57.68
as we sail along
00:26:57.71\00:26:58.98
the Mediterranean Sea.
00:26:59.01\00:27:00.72
It's going to be an epic
00:27:00.75\00:27:01.82
time of food,
00:27:01.85\00:27:03.45
fellowship and worship.
00:27:03.49\00:27:05.49
Listen, family,
00:27:05.52\00:27:06.49
we want you to be there with us.
00:27:06.52\00:27:08.62
I can't wait for us to
come together in learning
00:27:08.66\00:27:11.09
and fellowship
00:27:11.53\00:27:12.29
and as we testify
00:27:12.33\00:27:13.46
to the goodness of God.
00:27:13.50\00:27:14.96
But we only have
200 spots available.
00:27:15.00\00:27:18.57
So right now,
00:27:19.00\00:27:20.00
I need you to go
and reserve your cabin
00:27:20.04\00:27:22.14
and get more information
00:27:22.70\00:27:24.04
at our website
00:27:24.07\00:27:25.21
at WW w Breath of Life Dot TV.
00:27:25.24\00:27:28.58
We plan to give God
00:27:29.68\00:27:31.05
all the glory as we celebrate
00:27:31.08\00:27:33.52
His goodness, the breath of life
00:27:33.55\00:27:35.15
for the last 50 years.
00:27:35.18\00:27:36.92
God bless you.
00:27:36.95\00:27:37.85
I look forward
00:27:37.89\00:27:38.75
to seeing you there.
00:27:38.79\00:27:51.67
(Breath of Life Music)
00:28:04.88\00:28:19.89