Sermon #S028 - You've Overpaid For That - (Part 2) 00:00:05.93\00:00:19.71 Welcome to the Breath of Life Television Ministries broadcast with Pastor Debleaire Snell! 00:00:19.75\00:00:25.72 In today's episode, Pastor Snell will share Part Two of the dynamic message “You've Overpaid 00:00:25.75\00:00:33.46 for That.” Now, let's go deeper into the word of God. 00:00:33.50\00:00:38.13 Pastor Snell:See, I need us to understand something, friends, 00:00:38.17\00:00:40.44 that whenever there is an entanglement of the heart, no matter how badly folk try to 00:00:40.47\00:00:48.91 keep a secret, no matter what they have to lose, at some point somebody's going to get 00:00:48.94\00:00:56.08 overconfident and visible and the secrets are going to start slipping. Are you all hearing 00:00:56.12\00:01:02.09 what I'm saying today? And I need you to understand, beloved, that if it is a matter of the 00:01:02.12\00:01:07.86 heart, guess what? They cannot keep it a secret. Remember what Jesus said. He says out of the 00:01:07.86\00:01:14.57 abundance of the heart, the mouth is going to speak. So whatever is impacting my heart 00:01:14.60\00:01:23.38 is inevitably going to come out of my mouth. So that if it's just physical and they're 00:01:23.41\00:01:32.69 ashamed of you, they might not say nothing, but if somebody catches feelings, guess what? 00:01:32.72\00:01:36.49 The story is going to be told. You all are mighty quiet in this church today. In other words, if 00:01:36.52\00:01:41.23 somebody is emotionally entangled, at some point, they're just going to happen to 00:01:41.26\00:01:44.90 bump into your spouse at the supermarket. At some point, they're going to happen to call 00:01:44.93\00:01:49.34 when your spouse just happens to be home. At some point, they're going to stop being okay with 00:01:49.37\00:01:54.81 being second or not being preferred. It's okay, brothers. She may have started out being a 00:01:54.84\00:02:01.42 secret and thinking, "It was exciting," but after a while, being a secret becomes 00:02:01.45\00:02:04.25 insulting. [Congregation: Whooping] 00:02:04.29\00:02:06.49 And see, there are times when brothers will get mad and they'll say, "Pastor man, she 00:02:06.52\00:02:11.36 just couldn't keep the secret." It's not that she couldn't keep the secret. She refused to be a 00:02:11.39\00:02:16.77 secret. [Congregation: Affirming] 00:02:16.80\00:02:19.40 See, how many of us know that at some point that that woman is going to want to be preferred? 00:02:19.43\00:02:25.41 She's going to be number one. She's going to want to go out on a date. She's going to want to 00:02:25.44\00:02:29.71 post something online. She's going to want to be claimed in some public way. Am I preaching 00:02:29.74\00:02:34.05 to anybody today? [Congregation: Affirming] 00:02:34.08\00:02:36.02 And see, it's crazy. Because there are times when sometimes, especially men, we think we can 00:02:36.05\00:02:40.66 be okay because we think we have circumstantial safety. 00:02:40.69\00:02:44.69 In other words, we think we're good because you both have an equal amount to be able to lose. 00:02:44.73\00:02:50.47 In other words, if she speaks, it's going to mess up her job. If she speaks, it's going to 00:02:50.50\00:02:55.80 mess up her marriage. But how many of us understand that Ellen White says that anybody that 00:02:55.84\00:03:00.28 will mess with you outside of your marriage is possessed by a 00:03:00.31\00:03:05.45 demon? And in other words, you can't reason with a demon. You can't apply principles to a 00:03:05.48\00:03:11.05 demon. You can't apply logic to a demon. There are no safe interactions with somebody 00:03:11.09\00:03:19.63 that's under the possession of the enemy. [Congregation: 00:03:19.66\00:03:21.03 Affirming] See, I need you to know that all adultery is is dating a suicide bomber. 00:03:21.06\00:03:25.67 [Congregation: Affirming] 00:03:25.70\00:03:27.67 In other words, you thought cause they were messing around, they were a mass shooter. 00:03:27.70\00:03:32.11 No, a mass shooter wants to get away with it but a suicide bomber operates on a whole 00:03:32.14\00:03:38.01 different plane. They will blow themselves up just to blow you up. And how many of us know that 00:03:38.05\00:03:45.62 they aren't going to stay a secret, they'll blow up their own job, they'll blow up their 00:03:45.65\00:03:49.32 own marriage, they'll blow up their own reputation just to hurt you in the process. Are you 00:03:49.36\00:03:57.17 all here in the word? [Congregation: Affirming] 00:03:57.20\00:03:58.83 Ask Steve McNair, Bill Clinton, or Ime Odoka, am I telling the truth today, friends? 00:03:58.87\00:04:04.64 [Congregation: Affirming] 00:04:04.67\00:04:06.27 So the word says here in verse number 7, the Bible says, "I saw amongst the simple. 00:04:06.31\00:04:10.15 I perceived amongst the youth a young man who is devoid of understanding." The Bible says. 00:04:10.18\00:04:17.19 See, the third thing this teaches us, friends of mine is that in relationships, 00:04:17.22\00:04:21.09 all of us need boundaries, somebody say, boundaries. 00:04:21.12\00:04:23.93 [Congregation: Boundaries] 00:04:23.96\00:04:26.19 Now, it's funny because the Bible says that Solomon refers to this man as simple. He is a 00:04:26.23\00:04:35.34 youth, he is inexperienced. Now, friends. I need you all to understand that the word 00:04:35.37\00:04:41.58 "simple" in Hebrew doesn't just mean "stupid". It actually means someone who is "naive". It means 00:04:41.61\00:04:51.75 somebody that lacks situational awareness. In the context of youth, it talks about somebody 00:04:51.79\00:04:55.99 who lacks boundaries. In other words, this is a young brother that like some of us thinks, "I 00:04:56.02\00:05:07.27 can get really close to the fire and not be burned." I actually think it's an interesting story 00:05:07.30\00:05:14.41 because we're not really 100% sure whether or not the young man is married. We know that the 00:05:14.44\00:05:20.62 sister is married by her own testimony, and even though he has not stated as one who is 00:05:20.65\00:05:26.76 being married, in Israelite culture, when a boy became a man, he would be quickly wed or 00:05:26.79\00:05:31.49 at the very least, he would probably be betrothed to another woman. Are you all with me 00:05:31.53\00:05:39.33 today? And I can see Solomon there, watching this thing play out. Like he's watching the big 00:05:39.37\00:05:45.64 screen on his TV. And it's crazy because Solomon man, he doesn't get anxious when he falls into 00:05:45.67\00:05:52.91 her arms. Your boy Solomon starts getting on edge when he sees her going down the street 00:05:52.95\00:05:59.35 toward her house. In other words, Solomon literally refers to the street where she lives as 00:05:59.39\00:06:06.96 the path that leads to hell. And Solomon's lament is that whether the man is married or not, his 00:06:07.00\00:06:10.93 first lament is that he lacks boundaries, and he allows himself to be out of position. 00:06:10.97\00:06:14.84 Can I just say again to my brothers and sisters? I need you to know that married people 00:06:14.87\00:06:25.28 should never be hanging where unattached people are still hunting. In other words, 00:06:25.31\00:06:31.22 fellows, like what you get to a certain point, you can't be at happy hour. You can't be at the 00:06:31.25\00:06:36.73 strip club. When you're on a work trip and all the single folk go to the bar, you need to 00:06:36.76\00:06:45.33 be up in your room with your Bible, FaceTiming your husband, your wife, and your kids. There 00:06:45.37\00:06:51.77 are certain circumstances you shouldn't even put yourself in. Let me just say this friends of 00:06:51.81\00:07:02.75 mine that when we talk about boundaries we don't just erect boundaries to avoid doing wrong 00:07:02.78\00:07:11.36 or to literally keep from falling into sin. We avoid boundaries, just to avoid the 00:07:11.39\00:07:17.93 drama that can be attached to our reputation. That's why the Bible says in 1st Thessalonians 00:07:17.97\00:07:23.74 5 to abstain from even the appearance of it. In other words, a wise man or wise woman 00:07:23.77\00:07:29.94 does not just put themselves in a predicament where they won't sin. They don't even put 00:07:29.98\00:07:37.25 themselves in a situation where the accusation can be made. In other words, I cannot tell you 00:07:37.29\00:07:39.02 how many brothers, especially, that have boundaries, that have found themselves in drama, 00:07:39.05\00:07:44.03 simply because they were eating platonically with a female co-worker when their girlfriend 00:07:44.06\00:07:50.60 or wife showed up at the restaurant [Congregation: Affirming] and now he's got to 00:07:50.63\00:07:58.31 answer for something with nothing evil or nefarious has taken place. What I'm saying is 00:07:58.34\00:08:06.51 not only am I trying not to sin, I'm not even trying to put myself where the accusation can 00:08:06.55\00:08:10.12 be made. So you got to have some boundaries of my preaching anybody today? In other words, 00:08:10.15\00:08:12.25 in the evening, when I have appointments here, my assistant knows that if I'm meeting with 00:08:12.29\00:08:17.16 somebody outside of the opposite sex that I'm only going to take that meeting without her husband 00:08:17.19\00:08:19.63 when my assistants are in the office. [Congregation: Affirming] So that when she goes 00:08:19.66\00:08:23.03 home, it's got to be a brother, it's got to be a couple. Are you all hearing what I'm saying? 00:08:23.06\00:08:30.54 [Congregation: Affirming] When I'm going to do my afternoon visitations and I'm going to see 00:08:30.57\00:08:33.17 Sister So-and-so, guess what? I ain't showing up by myself. I'm taking Pastor Goodridge, Elder 00:08:33.21\00:08:37.28 Taylor comes and shows up with me. When they see my truck there, when they see me walk 00:08:37.31\00:08:42.32 out, I want them to see the whole Posse coming out. [Congregation: Cheering] Listen. 00:08:42.35\00:08:45.19 I'm not going to be punished for nothing that didn't do. Are you all hearing what I'm saying 00:08:45.22\00:08:52.06 today, friends? [Congregation: Affirming] So, we've got to erect some physical boundaries. 00:08:52.09\00:08:57.67 And see, the reason we've got to erect physical boundaries, oh, slow it down, is how many of us 00:08:57.70\00:09:01.74 understand that even though you're married, you're not dead? [Congregation: You aren't dead.] 00:09:01.77\00:09:06.71 In other words, even when you're a happily married man, you're going to still see other women 00:09:06.74\00:09:08.18 that are attractive. Come on and say Amen, Pastor. [Congregation: 00:09:08.21\00:09:10.48 Amen, Pastor.] In other words, they're going to be some brothers that you work with that 00:09:10.51\00:09:13.85 are around. They are tall, they are handsome, and they're dressed. They are funny. They 00:09:13.88\00:09:20.46 have charisma and a charm that is intoxicating in a certain way but understand that boundaries 00:09:20.49\00:09:29.83 are designed to keep you from certain energies that happen in an involuntary fashion. See, the 00:09:29.86\00:09:39.01 problem with some of us is we see boundaries as a prison. Boundaries are not a prison, 00:09:39.04\00:09:47.95 they're a shield. They keep you from unnecessary drama. So you've got to erect some social 00:09:47.98\00:09:53.12 boundaries as well. So much so that you'd even need to guard the conversations you engage in. 00:09:53.15\00:10:00.03 In other words, do you realize that Brother So-and-so, Sister So-and-so, there's a dead 00:10:00.06\00:10:11.04 giveaway? Who has decided to become your marital counselor at your job? Who's encouraging 00:10:11.07\00:10:14.04 complaints about your spouse? Who's willing to talk with you about your situation? I need you 00:10:14.08\00:10:21.32 to know that you've already ventured on dangerous ground if you're talking to them about 00:10:21.35\00:10:28.52 your marriage more than you're talking to the one you're married to about what's going 00:10:28.56\00:10:37.43 on. I want to say this real quick because I need you to know that the greatest boundary is 00:10:37.47\00:10:40.67 not from without. The greatest boundary comes from him within. Okay, now, you're all looking at 00:10:40.70\00:10:42.80 me as crazy. The greatest boundary you can have is to pour your energy into making your 00:10:42.84\00:10:50.45 marriage good. In other words, stop walking around spying on your man looking through his 00:10:50.48\00:10:56.18 phone, and doing drive-bys at his job. Stop walking around in the mall trying to look at who's 00:10:56.22\00:11:00.96 eyeballing your woman. In other words, if you've got a good-looking woman other 00:11:00.99\00:11:05.26 brothers are going to see that. Are you all hear me? [Congregation: Affirming] 00:11:05.29\00:11:07.56 All you've got to do is make sure you love on your man, love on your woman because a happy 00:11:07.60\00:11:16.84 marriage is an adultery raid. In other words, when a woman is happy, it shows up on her 00:11:16.87\00:11:23.11 countenance. It says, "I'm spoken for." She gives an energy that says "Can't touch this." 00:11:23.14\00:11:30.45 Their energy says, "I'm not available." When a brother is satisfied, he comes into the job 00:11:30.49\00:11:35.52 looking relaxed and happy and whistling. [Congregation: 00:11:35.56\00:11:42.93 Affirming] His whole energy says that "I'm not available." Are you all hearing what I'm saying? 00:11:42.96\00:11:47.44 In other words, instead of walking around like a protector, build your marriage immune 00:11:47.47\00:12:00.22 system. You know, friends of mine, just like your body has an immune system, you have 00:12:00.25\00:12:07.36 something that automatically fights off outside attacks or disease, and guess what? When 00:12:07.39\00:12:14.60 your body is strong and you've been sleeping right, and eating right, and cold or sickness 00:12:14.63\00:12:17.90 comes, guess what? It can't knock you down when your immune system is strong. In other 00:12:17.93\00:12:23.51 words, when it's strong, the immune system fights off disease, you don't have to go 00:12:23.54\00:12:28.68 hunt it down, it does it automatically. And when your marriage immune system is 00:12:28.71\00:12:30.68 strong... [Congregation: Affirming] ...it automatically fights off the attacks and the 00:12:30.71\00:12:37.92 assaults that the enemy sends against your home. Are you all hearing the word today, friends? 00:12:37.95\00:12:39.99 So the word says here in, Proverbs 7, go to verse 10. Can we unpack it a little bit 00:12:40.02\00:12:50.03 further? Proverbs 7:10. The Bible says, "And there a woman met him with the attire of a 00:12:50.07\00:12:59.07 wife, harlot, and a crafty heart. And she was loud and rebellious, and her feet would 00:12:59.11\00:13:04.85 not stay at home." Now, watch this, "At times, she was outside, and other times in the 00:13:04.88\00:13:11.69 open square, lurking at every corner so she caught him and kissed him. And with an impudent 00:13:11.72\00:13:17.83 face, he said to him, "I have made peace offerings with me." But notice what she says in 00:13:17.86\00:13:26.94 verse 19. "For my husband is not at home. He has gone on a long journey and has taken a bag of 00:13:26.97\00:13:44.95 money with him and he will come back on the appointed day." So I need us to understand this about 00:13:44.99\00:13:56.10 adultery friends, is an affair is nothing but what happens when 2 deficits find each other. 00:13:56.13\00:14:03.77 Infidelity is simply what occurs when 2 broken people cross paths. I'm framing it this way 00:14:03.81\00:14:11.35 because there is something about the culture in our time that tries to glorify this and create 00:14:11.38\00:14:17.72 a mystery, allure, and create excitement around it. So whether it is shows like Scandal or 00:14:17.75\00:14:20.46 every Tyler Perry movie that has the same plot. There is something in us that's trying to 00:14:20.49\00:14:22.36 make it exciting and gratifying, but I need you to understand, it is a practice of brokenness. 00:14:22.39\00:14:27.40 [Congregation: Affirming] It is always to be grieved. There is collateral damage that is done 00:14:27.40\00:14:32.50 to self, that is done to kids, that is done to the family that destroys everybody in its wake, 00:14:32.53\00:14:39.77 and with every person, I've ever stood within this journey I've never had any brother or sister 00:14:39.81\00:14:46.15 say "Pastor, it was worth it." I've never had anybody say, "Man, Pastor, if I had it to do 00:14:46.18\00:14:52.12 all over again, I do it again," because once it hits the fan and the fallout takes place and the 00:14:52.15\00:15:04.03 collateral damage is done, the refrain of everybody that's trying to survive is that, "Man, 00:15:04.07\00:15:06.23 I overpaid for that." Are you all hearing what I'm saying? [Congregation: Affirming] Now, 00:15:06.27\00:15:15.81 when we look at this story, I think sometimes we get caught up in the wrong details as it 00:15:15.84\00:15:22.52 relates to the woman. In other words, we focus on her provocative dress, her bold 00:15:22.55\00:15:35.06 assertions, and how aggressive she is but maybe there's a clue we find in verse 19 where she 00:15:35.10\00:15:42.27 says, "My husband's gone on a long journey. He took a big bag of money with him. He's not 00:15:42.30\00:15:51.98 coming back for a long time." In other words, you've got a sister who perhaps has been neglected 00:15:52.01\00:15:59.82 for so long. Who's come second to her husband's work, second to his business affairs, and in a 00:15:59.85\00:16:06.49 time where polygamy was abundant, she may have been second to other women. In other 00:16:06.53\00:16:12.70 words, she is a person that feels so neglected and so left behind that she's out in the 00:16:12.73\00:16:16.81 street. She isn't trying to hide it anymore because she doesn't even think her man sees. She's 00:16:16.84\00:16:23.75 not sure if he's coming back home. And even if he sees them, she's not even sure if he cares. 00:16:23.78\00:16:29.45 See, the problem with us is we look at the behavior and we think, "She's a nympho." 00:16:29.48\00:16:31.82 Somebody that has insatiable needs. When the truth is, she may just be somebody with unmet 00:16:31.85\00:16:39.66 needs. [Congregation: Affirming] She is a woman that so starved for affection that she just does 00:16:39.69\00:16:46.00 anything to feel desired. She wears anything just to be seen. She's walking up and down the 00:16:46.03\00:16:52.81 street just to be wanted. She's walking up and down the thing just to be noticed. In other 00:16:52.84\00:17:00.05 words, we think about her as this sexually overactive and nuclear person. No, she just 00:17:00.08\00:17:04.39 wants to be noticed. She just wants to be affirmed. She has such a deficit that she'll allow 00:17:04.42\00:17:12.29 it to be filled by anybody. And watch this. This shows something about the other person. Oh, help 00:17:12.33\00:17:18.20 me, Holy Spirit. Notice what the Bible says that she's lurking at every corner. She's walking up 00:17:18.23\00:17:20.27 and down the street. In other words, she wasn't looking for him, he just happened to be 00:17:20.30\00:17:23.37 available. [Congregation: Reacting] In other words, he was just the first one that's 00:17:23.41\00:17:32.51 willing. See, I need you to know that the only upper hand that the other person has on the 00:17:32.55\00:17:39.19 spouse is that sometimes they make themselves available. See, they're not special. They're 00:17:39.22\00:17:47.86 just available. They're not superior, they're just available. And let me just say 00:17:47.93\00:17:52.23 this to every young girl, who's out there feeling themselves because you think you've taken 00:17:52.27\00:17:59.61 something from another woman or every young Thundercat that's bragging about what you're doing 00:17:59.64\00:18:06.18 with somebody else's wife. I need you to understand, you are nothing but a placeholder, 00:18:06.21\00:18:08.75 you're a contingency plan, and you're a parachute when it goes bad. [Congregation: Whooping] 00:18:08.78\00:18:09.95 In other words, you're not special, you're just available. 00:18:09.98\00:18:14.22 [Congregation: Cheering] 00:18:14.26\00:18:18.56 And what I want to say on behalf of the brothers, I want brothers to know that a husband's 00:18:18.59\00:18:26.27 preference is always to eat at home. Amen? 00:18:26.30\00:18:29.50 [Congregation: Amen.] 00:18:29.54\00:18:35.38 I'm going to enjoy this sermon, whether you do or not. I mean listen. A husband's preference 00:18:35.41\00:18:43.62 is always to eat at home. So there are times in my evening these visits, as I'm going 00:18:43.65\00:18:51.49 around, there will be some times where the woman of the house would say, "Pastor, would you 00:18:51.53\00:18:55.16 like something to eat or drink?" And if I'm already full, it makes it easy to say, no. If I'm 00:18:55.20\00:19:06.61 already full, or if I know I've got something hot waiting for me 00:19:06.64\00:19:11.61 when I get home. Are you all hearing what I'm saying? When that brother knows he's got 00:19:11.65\00:19:18.39 something waiting for him at home. Guess what? It makes it that, much easier to say no to 00:19:18.42\00:19:25.59 whatever offer is put out there in front of him. [Congregation: 00:19:25.63\00:19:27.60 Affirming] I want to be clear that there is never a justification for stepping 00:19:27.60\00:19:32.77 outside of the marital relationship, but even the scriptures acknowledge that 00:19:32.80\00:19:41.91 there is a cause and an effect. Are you all hearing what I'm saying? It's crazy. Because even 00:19:41.94\00:19:48.95 as I'm preaching this, I can see the ladies rolling their eyes at me... [Congregation: Murmuring] 00:19:48.98\00:19:50.95 ...and saying, "Well, Pastor, if he would be a little bit more romantic, if he would make more 00:19:50.99\00:20:02.80 deposits, he could get some more withdrawals." 00:20:02.83\00:20:05.93 [Congregation: Affirming] 00:20:05.97\00:20:09.20 Let me just say this in the language men speak. The reason we used to withdraw more is 00:20:09.24\00:20:20.82 because we used to deposit more. [Congregation: Affirming] 00:20:20.85\00:20:27.96 The reason you used to be able to withdraw more, is you used to deposit a little bit more. 00:20:27.99\00:20:34.00 See, this is where the marriage reaches a dangerous point. When we get to that place where we've 00:20:34.00\00:20:42.07 gotten used to each other, it doesn't take all that no more. Are you hearing what I'm saying? 00:20:42.10\00:20:46.34 [Congregation: Affirming] 00:20:46.37\00:20:48.24 But it's just like when you go to the bank, if you withdraw more than you deposit, 00:20:48.28\00:20:56.02 eventually, it's going to say "insufficient". And a woman is like the bank. Sometimes she'll 00:20:56.05\00:21:01.92 give you a line of credit. [Congregation: Affirming] 00:21:01.96\00:21:06.26 But once you abuse that line of credit, the account is going to get permanently closed. 00:21:06.29\00:21:12.00 Am I preaching to anybody? 00:21:12.03\00:21:13.27 [Congregation: Affirming, Cheering, Laughing] 00:21:13.30\00:21:17.91 I'm about to get myself in trouble here. Hey, brothers, let's do what we did at first. 00:21:17.94\00:21:26.31 Let's remember our first love. Come on, let's take pride in being husbands. Let's honor the 00:21:26.35\00:21:33.29 wife. Let's cherish the wife. Let's romance the wife. I mean, 00:21:33.32\00:21:38.29 listen, let's do the things that we did to win her in order to 00:21:38.33\00:21:44.57 secure her heart. It's funny because we mentioned about what 00:21:44.60\00:21:48.54 we're not getting. But do you realize that even the physical act is actually a mirror of how 00:21:48.57\00:21:58.08 the relationship is supposed to operate? So guess what? When you're connected at the head and 00:21:58.11\00:22:07.82 at the heart, guess what? Your parts are going to follow. [Congregation: Affirming] 00:22:07.86\00:22:10.49 No, no, no, no. The physical act. It is an outward mirroring of the emotional act. 00:22:10.53\00:22:16.33 So that if I'm connected at the head and I'm connected at the 00:22:16.36\00:22:20.10 heart, guess what? The parts are going to automatically begin to connect one with another. Are 00:22:20.14\00:22:27.24 you all hearing what I'm saying? [Congregation: Affirming, 00:22:27.28\00:22:28.61 Cheering] So that the more I connect with the head and the 00:22:28.64\00:22:30.88 heart, guess what? The parts are simply an outgrowth of intimacy that starts outside of the 00:22:30.91\00:22:40.16 bedroom. Are you all hear what I'm saying today, friends? 00:22:40.19\00:22:42.66 [Congregation: Affirming] 00:22:42.69\00:22:44.26 See the problem is all some of us want to do is we're going to 00:22:44.29\00:22:47.83 start right here. But what I'm saying is that when we connect here and here, there is an 00:22:47.86\00:22:56.37 intimacy that leaves everybody feeling satisfied. And it's funny because there are times 00:22:56.40\00:23:02.94 when especially when we've been married and we've gotten used to each other, you realize that men 00:23:02.98\00:23:11.22 and women. We operate a little bit differently. Amen? [Congregation: Amen] 00:23:11.25\00:23:19.53 So that men, when it comes to certain things, we're like microwaves. Ready on command. 00:23:19.56\00:23:35.44 Wives are a little bit more like crock pots. Takes a little longer to get there, but once it 00:23:35.48\00:23:42.05 gets hot boys going to burn everything. Are you all hearing what I'm saying? Right? 00:23:42.08\00:23:43.59 [Congregation: Affirming] 00:23:43.62\00:23:46.15 Oh, so let me speak in the male language real quick. So you know how it is when you first get a 00:23:46.19\00:23:53.06 new car? You know, we name our cars women. You know how something about a new car. When 00:23:53.09\00:24:01.60 it's brand-new, you can jump right in it, even when it's cold outside. You just get in and 00:24:01.64\00:24:08.48 drive. [Congregation: Laughing] 00:24:08.51\00:24:12.91 But when you've had that car for a little while, when it's cold outside, you don't just go jump 00:24:12.95\00:24:20.26 in it. [Congregation: Right!] 00:24:20.29\00:24:22.49 Why are you all looking at me like I don't love the Lord? I love the Lord. I read the 00:24:22.52\00:24:26.56 scriptures. I pray every day. This is what conversion looks like. Are you all hearing what 00:24:26.59\00:24:32.57 your boy is saying? [Congregation: Affirming, 00:24:32.60\00:24:34.80 Cheering] When it's brand-new, you just jump in and start driving. But when you've had it 00:24:34.84\00:24:41.18 a little while, you go out in the cold and you warm it up, you turn on the radio, you let it 00:24:41.21\00:24:48.08 idle for a little while. You let it warm up before you jump in. 00:24:48.12\00:24:52.65 [Congregation: Affirming] 00:24:52.69\00:24:54.29 And what I'm saying is you can't give your car more foreplay than you give your woman. 00:24:54.32\00:25:00.86 [Congregation: Whooping] 00:25:00.90\00:25:10.51 No, don't send me no letters about the Sabbath. Adam and Eve were married on the sixth day. 00:25:10.54\00:25:17.15 So you know how they started the seventh day? If you had heard 00:25:17.18\00:25:22.48 this 20 years ago, you would be better off than where you are right now. We need to stop 00:25:22.52\00:25:34.46 ignoring the problem and start addressing the problem. [Congregation: Affirming, 00:25:34.50\00:25:36.36 Whooping] See the problem with the contemporary church is we have that the world has all the 00:25:36.40\00:25:42.27 joy of sex. But how many of us know it doesn't belong in a magazine, in a movie, in a 00:25:42.30\00:25:49.44 nightclub, or the backseat of a car, it belongs to those who are in covenant with one another, 00:25:49.48\00:25:57.52 who are operating within the holy bounds of matrimony. Let the married folk say Amen. 00:25:57.55\00:26:02.46 [Congregation: Amen] 00:26:02.49\00:26:03.63 [Congregation: Affirming, Cheering] 00:26:03.66\00:26:04.86 Are you all hearing what I'm saying? 00:26:04.89\00:26:07.66 [Congregation: Yes!] 00:26:07.73\00:26:12.33 See, this is where I want to land. Listen, I promise you, I'm 00:26:12.37\00:26:17.47 done. See, this is the issue. This is why I want to shift us because, in marriage, you know 00:26:17.51\00:26:26.31 what our competition is on too much? We're competing for who's going to have the last word. 00:26:26.35\00:26:29.95 We compete for who's going to get the most allowance. We compete about who's going to 00:26:29.98\00:26:36.02 have the most authority, but in a healthy marriage, there is not a competition for say, or power, 00:26:36.06\00:26:41.73 or authority. You're in a competition to out-love each other and out-serve each other 00:26:41.76\00:26:48.57 and out-meet one another's needs. In other words, it ought to be a competition on who's 00:26:48.60\00:26:54.61 going to love each other better. Who's going to affirm each other the most? Who's going to speak 00:26:54.64\00:27:02.88 one another's love language the best? In other words, you can't not withhold your way to a 00:27:02.92\00:27:04.55 better marriage. [Congregation: Affirming] You can't withhold your way to wholeness. You've 00:27:04.59\00:27:09.59 got to give your way to wholeness. You've got to pray your way to wholeness. You've 00:27:09.62\00:27:14.20 got to serve your way to wholeness. You've got to honor your way to wholeness. 00:27:14.23\00:27:17.00 [Congregation: Affirming] 00:27:17.03\00:27:18.90 Hello, family, this is Pastor Snell. Speaker/Director of the Breath of Life Television 00:27:18.93\00:27:24.57 Ministry. Last year, we released our newest book entitled Get Unrealistic, where we talked 00:27:24.61\00:27:32.88 about the power of Radical Faith. You joined us on the journey and you were richly 00:27:32.91\00:27:38.99 blessed. And there are a number of you who reached out and said, we want to make this resource 00:27:39.02\00:27:46.83 available to our office staff, to my family, to our ministry group, to our book club, to our 00:27:46.86\00:27:53.94 elders board, or to our church. I want you to know that we've created an opportunity for you 00:27:53.97\00:28:01.64 to order the book in bulk. So if you go to our website at breathoflife.tv, you can order 00:28:01.68\00:28:07.48 the book in bulk. As we enter into this new year. We don't want to go back to being 00:28:07.52\00:28:31.21 realistic. We want to continue to get unrealistic. (Breath of Life Theme Music) [END] 00:28:31.24\00:28:46.25