(Breath of Life Theme Music)
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Sermon #S028 - You've
Overpaid For That - (Part 1)
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Pastor Snell: This time, we're
going to go ahead and turn to
Proverbs Chapter 7.
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Proverbs Chapter 7, and we're
going to look together at verse
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number 6. How many of us need a
word from the Lord today? Amen.
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Does any single folk need a word
from the Lord? Do any married
folk need a word from the Lord?
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I believe there's a word from
the Lord for somebody today, no
matter what station or family
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life you're in this afternoon.
Proverbs chapter 7, and we're
going to look together at verse
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number 6. When you get there,
let me hear you say amen.
[Congregation: Amen.]
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Amen. Then, I ask for your
prayers, little sickness is
going around my house. Gianna
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and the kids are not here today.
I ask that you would just say a
brief prayer for them as well.
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Proverbs 7:6. I want to
acknowledge, one of my good
friends in the house, Pastor
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Edmonds, and Dr. Shanae. Dr.
Edmonds, Dr. Shanae, raise your
hand so the people could see
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you. Amen. Let's give them
a hearty amen. [Congregation:
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Amen] Praise God. Proverbs
chapter 7, and we're going to
look together at verse number 6.
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Today, I'm going to be honest
with you. We're going to get
into your business a little bit
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today. If there are times, you
can't say amen, just say, ouch,
come on, say it. Proverbs 7:6.
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There are some things I believe
God wants us to address. How
many of us understand that we
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don't grow by ignoring problems?
We grow when we address them.
There are times, where sometimes
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in the body of Christ, we hope
things away, we wish things away
instead of addressing them. God
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says, my people are not
destroyed by knowing. They are
destroyed by a lack of
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knowledge. There are some
uncomfortable things that we
have to talk about even in the
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household of God. Proverbs 7:6.
When you get there just say,
"Pastor, I'm ready."
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[Congregation: Pastor, I'm
ready] The Bible says, and
Solomon, speaking says,
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"For at the window of my house,
I looked through my lattice, and
I saw amongst the simple, I
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perceived amongst the youths. Is
a young man devoid of what?
Understanding. Passing along the
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street near her corner. And he
took the path to her house in
the twilight, in the evening, in
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the black and dark night. And
there, a woman met him, with the
attire of a harlot and a crafty
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heart. She was loud and
rebellious. Her feet would not
stay at home. At times, she was
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outside. At times, in the open
square, lurking at every corner.
So, she caught him and kissed
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him. With an impudent face, she
said to him, I have peace
offerings with me. Today, I paid
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my vows. So, I came out to meet
you, diligently to seek your
face. And I have found you. I
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have spread my bed with
tapestry, colored coverings of
Egyptian linen. I have perfumed
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my bed with myrrh, aloes, and
cinnamon. Come, let us take our
fill of love until morning. Let
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us delight ourselves with love,
for my husband is not at home.
He has gone on a long journey.
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He has taken a bag of money with
him, and he will come home on
the appointed day." And notice,
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now, she makes a sexual
proposition, but notice what
gets him. "With enticing speech,
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she calls him to yield. With her
flattering lips, she seduced
him. And immediately, he went
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after her as an ox goes to the
slaughter, or as a fool to the
correction of the stocks, till
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an arrow struck his liver. And
as a bird hastens to the snare,
he did not know it would cost
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his life. Now, therefore, listen
to me, my children, pay
attention to the words of my
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mouth. Do not let your heart
turn aside to her ways. Do not
stray into her past. For she has
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cast down many wounded, and all
who were slain by her were" past
tense, "strong men. Her house is
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the way to Hell, descending to
the chambers of death." Again, I
want to re-emphasize, verse 23.
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It says, "It was all good, till
an arrow struck his liver. And
as a bird hastens to the snare,
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he did not know it would cost
him his life." Today, saints, I
want to talk to you for a little
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while under the subject, "You
overpaid for that." Turn to your
neighbor real quick and say, let
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them know some choices. Now,
tell them "Some choices cost too
much." Amen. Let's pray
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together. Lord, as we teach your
word. I pray that you would
cause the presence of your
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spirit to increase. Father, I
ask dear God, that the word
would not just sit on the
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surface. That it would not just
occupy the ear. Lord, would you
cause your word to get on the
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heart level today? Father, I
pray that you would allow your
spirit to be so dense that it
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smothers all-rivaling
principality and distraction.
Lord, once again, would you hide
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me in the shadows of the cross?
That Jesus alone might be seen.
That Christ alone will be heard.
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At the end of our time together,
let Jesus alone be praised. We
ask this in the name of Him who
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is altogether lovely. It is in
the name of Jesus, that we pray.
Let God's people say together.
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Amen. [Congregation: Amen] And,
amen. You may be seated in the
house of the Lord, inviting
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those from the outside to come
in quickly. Again, we're talking
under the subject, "You overpaid
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for that." About 2 years ago, I
went down to preach in a little
town called Keene, Texas. The
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travel day had been prolonged by
several flight delays and
cancellations, so that, by the
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time I got to my hotel, I was
physically exhausted. From an
appetite standpoint, because I
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had not had a chance to eat, I
was famished. Because there were
no restaurants or markets in
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sight, I decided to go down to
the hotel market and buy some
fruit right there by the
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registration counter. Much to my
chagrin, I found a large bottle
of water that was $7.95.
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[Congregation: Laughing] I got a
bag of cashews, which was about
13 bucks. Under normal
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circumstances, I would not even
consider overpaying for such
things, but there was an
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interesting dynamic at work. You
see, the combination of my
personal lack or hunger,
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combined with its immediate
availability, impaired my
judgment, and caused me to
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overpay. The crazy thing is that
that's not even what I wanted.
It's not necessarily what I
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preferred. The only thing that
made me overpay is that it was
available. It's funny because
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the country lady at the counter,
she looked at me while I
deliberated and it wasn't until
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after I swiped my card that she
just laughed and said, "Honey,
you know you're overpaid for
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that." [Congregation: Laughing]
Can I suggest, friends, that
there is a formula that Satan
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uses against us? He knows that
whenever there is a relational
lack, combined with certain
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inferior availabilities, he
knows that he can make you
overpay for certain
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circumstances. Whether it is a
single person choosing the wrong
mate, or whether it is a married
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person operating outside of the
covenant. The devil just stands
behind the counter laughing,
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knowing that you've overpaid for
that. The problem is that there
are some of us that have made it
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with the wrong one that is
paying a high emotional toll.
There are some of us that are
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emotionally bankrupt, because
we've operated outside of the
marital covenant, and the enemy
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has made us vulnerable because
we've over-appraised and valued
circumstances that don't have a
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fair exchange rate. If that
makes sense let me hear you say,
Amen. [Congregation: Amen]
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Today, friends of mine, as we
get into this Word, I want to
spend a little time talking
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about how to avoid some of the
pitfalls and the snares of
infidelity. However, before I
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get to the married couples, the
first word is for those who are
unattached. The first thing God
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wants somebody to know is that
the things you overlooked in
dating, will overwhelm you when
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you get married. In other words,
when it comes down to
infidelity, and friends, the
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under-announced and understated
truth is that most adultery does
not commence after you get
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married. Many times it continues
after you've gotten married. In
fact, friends, studies show that
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about 30% of affairs are
actually a continuation of
something that started before
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you said I do, or it was
somebody revisiting a
relationship that was not
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completely sealed off. There are
some of us that are giving young
people bad advice. We tell the
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young girls that he'll get it
out of his system, and young men
convince themselves that she
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just happened to slip up. The
truth is God is providing
revelation. How many of us know
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that revelation is not just a
vision or a dream or where God
carries you away in the spirit?
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Revelation is when God causes a
person to reveal their true
character. As they say, in the
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streets, when somebody shows you
who they are, it's for your
benefit to believe them. Are you
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all hearing the word today?
Friends of mine, when somebody
operates in that way, they're
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letting you know that they lack
boundaries, that they lack
readiness, and in some cases,
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they lack respect for you as a
person. There are certain plants
that blossom after you got
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married, but the seeds were
planted while you were still in
the courtship phase. Friends,
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I'm not saying that people never
mature. That they'll never ever
change. But I do need you to get
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that if they're cheating on you
now, it's a sign that they're
unprepared for marriage. In
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other words, if they are failing
in a covenant that's not
permanent, I need you to know
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that is not going to make them
succeed when you actually say,
"I do". In other words, if
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they're failing the lesser test,
why would you trust them with a
greater test? In other words, I
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remember when I was about 15 and
I was first learning how to
drive, my dad took me to an
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empty grocery store parking lot,
where I begin to test for the
first time. It's crazy because
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as a 15-year-old, I'm hyped and
eager, so excited that I'm
driving too fast, not following
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instructions, not staying inside
of the line, and my dad got so
nervous that he said, "Son, the
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lesson is over, give me the keys
to the car". It's crazy because
I was mad. I was like, "Daddy,
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we hadn't even been on the
freeway yet." And he's like,
"Son if I can't trust you to
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drive straight when there ain't
no traffic, I certainly can't
trust you to be straight on the
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freeway." Where are you all at,
church? If they can't be
straight without pressure, they
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not going to be straight when
real pressure is applied. Are
you all hearing from me today,
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saints? [Congregation:
Affirming] Friends of mine, I
need you to get that the larger
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issue today is twofold. You see,
too often, there are some of us
that get married hoping folk
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will change. Understand, there
is a statement in the military
that says, "Hope is not a
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strategy." In other words, when
you get married, you ought to be
hopeful. Your disposition ought
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to be hope, but your strategy
should not be hope. In other
words, friends, the reason we
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are hopeful and trying to pray
certain things away is because
we don't have a strategy to
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address real issues. Are you all
hearing the preacher today? In
other words, a strategy is to
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get connected to spiritual
things. The strategy ought to be
to get into some counseling. The
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strategy ought to be to close
off all former relationships.
The reason you should not just
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pray or hope it better, how many
of us know that you can't pray
into the closet what God is
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dragging out of the closet?
[Congregation: Affirming] Are
you all hearing what I'm saying
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today? This is why, young
people, you can't get too
tangled up while you're dating.
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Are you all hearing me today?
[Congregation: Affirming] Slow
it down. There is a reason that
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your parents are counseling you
to not get too intense and not
tangled up too soon, because the
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more entangled you get in
courtship, the less likely you
are to be willing to start over.
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Can I suggest, friends of mine?
That you're always headed for a
mistake whenever you lose the
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courage to start over. You see
somebody overlooking obvious
instability and drama,
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understand that it's not so much
about how enamored they are with
the person. Sometimes they've
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just invested so much that they
don't have the courage to start
over. Do you realize that
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sometimes we get so lost in
these relationships that our
personal identity begins to
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evaporate to the point where
we're afraid to go to dinner by
ourselves? Afraid to watch a
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movie by ourselves. Afraid to
tell people that we are single
again, and we've gotten so lost
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that we've lost the courage to
actually start over. What I need
you to know is that you ought
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not to fear what will happen if
you start over, you ought to be
afraid of what's going to happen
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if you keep going forward.
[Congregation: Clapping] Oh,
it's going to get good in a
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minute. The problem with some of
us is we are so afraid of
missing out, that we miss all
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that God has planned. In other
words, I want what God has
prepared for me, not what Satan
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has planted in my life.
[Congregation: Affirming] You
see, friends of mine, this is
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why you got to be careful about
making investments that are
greater than the level of your
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commitment. At some point,
you've poured so much into it
that you feel like you've got to
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force something that comes out
of it. That's why the best thing
you can do while you're dating
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is to maintain some relational
autonomy. In other words, as you
go through this journey, you've
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got to maintain some emotional
autonomy, so that you're not so
close that you can overlook some
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things. You've got to maintain
financial autonomy so that
you're not sharing bills or an
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apartment, and you've got the
option to walk away. You've got
to maintain some sexual autonomy
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so that you don't get blinded by
lust that you overlook certain
things. The problem is when you
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lose your autonomy, you're
weighing things that should not
even be considered. What I'm
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saying to somebody today is that
when you get too tied up
emotionally, you take the joy
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out of a future proposal or even
wedding day. In other words,
brother, when you get ready to
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propose, it out to be because
you chose her, not because
you're stuck with her.
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[Congregation: Affirming] Some
of us are not in love. We're
just obligated. Are you all
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hearing what I'm saying? In
other words, sister, when you
say, "Yes," you ought to be
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saying yes to him and not the
situation. [Congregation:
Affirming] I need somebody to
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hear me on this. You're playing
checkers, but the devil's
playing chess. He's been looking
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at this thing from six moves
before now. I need you to
understand this principle, that
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the person that settles now is
going to be like the woman
searching forever, but if you
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continue your search then you'll
be able to settle permanently,
let me say it again. Those that
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settle quickly, search forever.
Those that are willing to keep
searching will be able to settle
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with the one that God has
prepared. Do I have at least six
singles, who are saying, "I'm
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not going to settle. I'm going
to continue my search. I'm going
to wait on what God has for me"?
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[Congregation: Affirming] Are
you all hear me, today, friends?
Friends of mine, that's why I
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want to encourage you to
date in wholeness. Somebody say,
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wholeness.
[Congregation: Wholeness]
00:19:06.11\00:19:07.31
In other words, you're not
looking for your other half.
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You're looking for your other
whole because you are a whole
man or woman in Jesus.
00:19:09.04\00:19:15.75
[Congregation: Affirming]
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I need you to understand, some
of us because we're operating as
a half, what happens is, even
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though we're not married, we're
already knotted. What you don't
want to do is you don't want to
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knot before you get married. Are
you all hear what I'm saying?
[Congregation: Affirming]
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You've got to function as a
whole. In other words, because
I've got small children and I
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know the parents are with me. I
spend a whole lot of time in my
life pulling knots. I don't know
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kids' shoes. Am I preaching to
anybody today? It's crazy
because like reason that
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sometimes kids get knots in
their shoes, you know how it is
when you tie the shoe and you
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put it in place, you realize
that before you pull it, you're
supposed to have 2 whole loops.
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[Congregation: Affirming] No,
no. Before you pull it. You're
supposed to have 2 whole loops
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and when you've got 2 whole
loops, guess what? It's easy to
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untie. [Congregation: Affirming]
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The reason they have knots is
because they get in a hurry and
instead of getting 2 whole
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loops, they get a half loop or 2
halves and they pull it into a
knot and now they can't get out
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of it. Are you all not
hearing me today? [Congregation:
00:20:36.56\00:20:38.63
Affirming] What I'm saying is
that when you are whole and
they're a whole, you can get out
00:20:38.67\00:20:45.31
of it. When you ain't nothing
but a half loop, and he ain't
nothing but a half loop, and you
00:20:45.34\00:20:51.25
tie yourself together, it's
impossible to get out of that
thing. Are you all hearing the
00:20:51.28\00:20:56.92
word today?
[Congregation: Affirming]
00:20:56.95\00:20:58.52
I want to function as a whole
person, not a half. Can the
00:20:58.55\00:21:02.69
church say, Amen?
[Congregation: Amen]
00:21:02.72\00:21:04.46
Let's get a little deeper into
this thing. Proverbs chapter 7
and let's look at verse 6.
00:21:04.49\00:21:08.80
When you all get there,
let me hear you say, Amen.
00:21:08.83\00:21:10.40
[Congregation: Amen]
00:21:10.43\00:21:12.17
Proverbs 7:6. The Bible says,
"For at the window of my house,
I looked through my lattice,
00:21:12.20\00:21:21.24
and I saw amongst the simple, I
perceived amongst the youth a
young man devoid of
00:21:21.28\00:21:28.75
understanding". The second
thing, this thing teaches us
today, friends of mine, is that
00:21:28.78\00:21:41.13
there is no marital sin that
remains a secret. Are you all
here with the pastor today?
00:21:41.16\00:21:43.93
[Congregation: Affirming]
00:21:43.97\00:21:46.13
You all notice here, what you're
reading in Proverbs 7, is not
metaphorical. This is not an
00:21:46.17\00:21:52.84
illustrative scenario. This is
simply Solomon explaining what
he sees from the window of his
00:21:52.87\00:21:59.28
house, as he details his
reckonings of what happens
underneath the sun and the
00:21:59.31\00:22:06.65
interesting thing, friends, is
that nobody brings this
information to Solomon. Nobody
00:22:06.69\00:22:13.46
outs the couple that's doing
wrong. Solomon is just trying to
close the curtains before he
00:22:13.50\00:22:18.13
goes to bed. And all of a sudden
he sees an affair that's in the
formation phase, are you all
00:22:18.17\00:22:25.21
hearing me today? See,
understand, Solomon knows what's
going down before he hears the
00:22:25.24\00:22:32.65
conversation that is being
stated. In other words, the
Bible says that he can look
00:22:32.68\00:22:43.12
through the window and he can
tell by their body language
something is about to go down.
00:22:43.16\00:22:48.86
He can tell by the way she
dresses. He can tell by the way
she stands. He can look at the
00:22:48.90\00:22:55.17
young man's overconfidence. He's
able to detect his naivete and
the reason that these 2 out
00:22:55.20\00:23:04.81
themselves is how many of us
know that the easiest thing to
see is the attraction? See, I
00:23:04.85\00:23:13.22
need you to know that before
anybody outs you, your behavior
is going to already out you. Are
00:23:13.25\00:23:14.92
you all hearing what I'm saying?
I need you to know that Solomon
ain't looking for nobody. He
00:23:14.96\00:23:20.66
just happened to look up and he
sees this thing in formation.
Are you all with the pastor
00:23:20.70\00:23:24.87
today? In other words, I need
you to get, friends, that there
is body language to attraction.
00:23:24.90\00:23:31.34
And there are folk that are in
your inner circle that work with
you on your job, that are inside
00:23:31.37\00:23:37.58
of your network. That even
though you've not made an
announcement, they've not read a
00:23:37.61\00:23:45.19
text message, they just looking
at how you move. [Congregation:
00:23:45.22\00:23:46.59
Affirming] And they can tell
something is wrong. Am I telling
00:23:46.62\00:23:49.52
the truth today? So that whether
it's 2 single folk or a married
person that's inappropriately
00:23:49.56\00:23:56.97
flirting, you can tell when
there is an attraction. There's
a body language to attraction.
00:23:57.00\00:24:00.30
So you can tell when a
young lady is into a young man.
00:24:00.34\00:24:03.81
You can tell by her body
language how big she begins to
smile or how she's always
00:24:03.84\00:24:10.61
checking on her hair or when
she begins to load up on the lip
00:24:10.65\00:24:13.58
gloss. Or when she starts
laughing at stuff that ain't
funny or even when class or work
00:24:13.62\00:24:19.62
is over, she just lingers a
little while to give him the
opportunity to make the next
00:24:19.65\00:24:26.86
advance. Are you all hearing
what I'm saying? There's body
language. When a brother is into
00:24:26.90\00:24:32.70
a young lady. After a while,
what a man is going to do, they
say a man is going to enlarge
00:24:32.73\00:24:39.31
himself. He's going to stand up
tall or sit up straight to
appear more dominant and
00:24:39.34\00:24:43.45
attractive. He's going to begin
to fake-create reasons to be
around you. When you're walking
00:24:43.48\00:24:49.98
down the sidewalk at some point,
he's going to stop and tie his
shoe so he can get the back
00:24:50.02\00:24:52.09
angle. [Congregation: Laughing]
Oh come on, come on, brothers.
We know the tricks. Come out and
00:24:52.12\00:24:57.06
say that. "Oh man, I've got to
tie my shoe. Oh, let me check my
00:24:57.09\00:24:59.73
phone." [Congregation: Laughing]
00:24:59.76\00:25:02.66
What I'm saying today, friends
of mine is that there are times
when we think folk are coming
00:25:02.70\00:25:08.27
for us. When the truth is that
there are involuntary actions
that put the community on notice
00:25:08.30\00:25:17.71
that some dirt is going on. Are
you all hearing what I'm saying?
00:25:17.75\00:25:20.22
It's crazy because before a
solicitation has been made,
you've got to realize that the
00:25:20.25\00:25:27.19
body language has begun to out
the people and there are times
when God will send messengers to
00:25:27.22\00:25:35.10
say, "Hey bro, you're going down
the wrong path," to say, "Sis,
what's going on?" And there are
00:25:35.13\00:25:40.34
times where we get in our
feelings and we're telling folks
to get out of our business. But
00:25:40.37\00:25:51.31
sometimes it is the first
indication. It is the check
engine light, that's letting you
00:25:51.35\00:25:58.39
know, you're about to pay too
much. Thank you so much for
joining us for the Breath of
00:25:58.42\00:26:09.06
Life Television Ministries
broadcast with Pastor Debleaire
Snell! We hope and pray that you
00:26:09.10\00:26:23.55
have been blessed by part one of
“You've Overpaid for That”  the
third message in our
00:26:23.58\00:26:31.52
“Family-ish” series. Please join
us next week for Part Two of
“You've Overpaid for That” You
00:26:31.55\00:26:35.06
don't want to miss it! Have you
ever felt like you were on the
verge of something big, like you
00:26:35.09\00:26:44.67
were on the precipice of
something providential? You
could sense God's divine
00:26:44.70\00:26:48.87
movement in your life, but you
didn't quite know how to
anticipate the space of being on
00:26:48.90\00:26:57.35
the verge of something. You got
stuck in a place of anticipation
and you got settled or cemented
00:26:57.38\00:27:03.18
in your current reality. I want
you to know, friends, that on
January the seventh I'm going to
00:27:03.22\00:27:11.26
begin a new teaching series
entitled On the Verge of
Something. This series, we're
00:27:11.29\00:27:17.23
going to follow Israel's journey
from the Passover to the Red
Sea, where they went from being
00:27:17.27\00:27:23.37
in a place of anticipation,
where they're able to see God's
ultimate plan come to pass for
00:27:23.41\00:27:32.55
their lives. This series is for
somebody that's got a living
vision on the inside of their
00:27:32.58\00:27:39.95
soul. It's for that person that
has dreams gestating inside of
their spirit. And so I want to
00:27:39.99\00:27:46.16
encourage you to join us each
Saturday at 11 a.m. and each
Wednesday at 7 p.m. and then on
00:27:46.19\00:27:53.54
Sunday, January the eighth. I
want you to join us for our 21
days of Prayer. Each Saturday
00:27:53.57\00:28:01.68
and Sunday, we're going to join
together at 8 a.m. and each
Monday through Friday, we'll
00:28:01.71\00:28:18.89
meet at 6 a.m. Central Standard
Time. We're going to pray, we're
going to testify and give
00:28:18.93\00:28:42.18
messages of encouragement to
those who believe they're on the
verge of something. And so this
00:28:42.22\00:28:57.20