Participants: Carlton P. Byrd
Series Code: BOL
Program Code: BOL000167
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00:01 (Theme Song) Jesus is worthy
00:12 oh yes, he's worthy worthy of all... 00:19 all the praise. 00:21 Pastor Byrd: "Pastor Byrd, I want to talk to you. 00:23 I'm the CEO of a company." 00:29 No, you're not. 00:32 You have your own multi-level marketing 00:35 business that you're trying to get off the ground. 00:37 You're not the CEO, you're the OE--only employee 00:42 of your company. 00:43 [Aud. reaction] PB: And let me throw this in. 00:46 For all of you who want to start your own business, 00:51 you've got to work. 00:52 You've got to do what, everybody? 00:54 Aud.: Work. 00:55 PB: You can't have million-dollar dreams 00:57 with minimum-wage work ethic. 01:02 Can you really be with somebody who can't be honest 01:05 with you up front? 01:07 Just tell me what's going on at the front, and we won't have 01:11 all the drama at the finish. 01:13 Because one lie leads to another lie. 01:16 If you don't have a job, tell me. 01:22 If you're still dating somebody, tell me. 01:27 If you've got baby mama drama, tell me. 01:32 If your ex-boyfriend is crazy and possessive, tell me. 01:39 Tell the truth, because lying lips, the Bible says, 01:42 are an abomination to the Lord. 01:44 Are you hearing what I'm saying? 01:46 You've got to be truthful with people. 01:47 You've got to even have folk in your life that are going 01:48 to tell you the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but 01:50 the truth. 01:50 You've got to get these smiling, lying folk out of your face. 01:52 You've got to learn how to be honest. 01:55 You've got to be able to talk--and listen to me 01:56 good--this is for the married folks. 01:58 You've got to be able to talk to your spouse about everything. 02:00 You've got to be ready and able to deal with the truth 02:02 about you. 02:03 Some of us, we're quick to tell other people the truth 02:05 about themselves, but we don't want to hear them tell 02:07 us the truth about ourselves. 02:08 You'll be dead wrong. 02:12 Wrong! 02:13 in a situation. 02:15 And instead of your spouse telling you the truth 02:17 about their situation, they'll be quiet just 02:19 to keep the peace. 02:20 And you'll go out and you'll make a fool of yourself, 02:22 but you've got to be able to deal with the truth 02:23 about you. 02:25 Listen to me. 02:29 In many marriages there is this 80-20 rule. 02:31 Pareto principle. 02:32 Some of you business students know, Pareto principle. 02:34 Pareto principle says 20 percent of the people do 80 percent 02:37 of the work. 02:38 But there's also an 80-20 rule in marriage. 02:40 Spouses know about 80 percent about their spouse. 02:42 The other 20 percent they were too afraid to tell 02:44 them while they were dating, because if they did, they would 02:46 have been afraid that their spouse wouldn't have married 02:48 them if they knew the real deal. 02:50 But we take that 20 percent. 02:53 Not we--people take that 20 percent, hold it close 02:57 to their vest until we meet somebody outside of their 03:01 marriage who they think can identify with the other 03:04 20 percent. 03:06 But then that ends up destroying marriages. 03:09 That's why, when you date right now, you've got to ask 03:11 them for total disclosure. 03:13 You've got to tell them, and you ought to want to tell 03:16 them, I want you to feel comfortable telling me 03:18 everything. 03:19 Because if I can't accept you for who you are right 03:21 now, then we must not be meant to be together. 03:23 I'd rather you would tell me now than to marry you 03:25 and find out 10 years later that you had a dark side. 03:28 Your soul mate can accept you for who you are. 03:31 The person that comes home, not the person that 03:33 everybody else sees, but the person that comes home. 03:36 I say it all the time: My wife and three daughters 03:38 are my toughest members, because they know if the Pastor 03:41 Byrd that you see is the same Pastor Byrd that's at home. 03:46 When the mask if off. 03:47 When the suit is off. 03:51 For you, when the nails come off. 03:56 When the hairpieces come off. 03:59 [Aud. reaction] PB: When the teeth 04:04 [laughter] come out. 04:06 When everything comes out, the real you. 04:11 You need to find somebody that can accept you 04:14 for the real you. 04:15 You need the truth, and you've got to be truthful. 04:17 Delilah does not love Samson. 04:20 Delilah is not trying to tell Samson the truth. 04:24 Money is her motivation. 04:28 But that wasn't strange to Samson, because he was used 04:31 to ungodly considerations for cash. 04:35 Which brings me to my next point on this thing called 04:37 honesty. 04:39 Stop getting with people in these relationships just 04:43 for money or just for what they can get out of you. 04:47 Not only must you be truthful and honest in your words, 04:49 but you've got to be truthful and honest in your motives. 04:52 Look at verse 1. 04:53 Samson went in with a prostitute. 04:57 Considerations or compassion for cash. 05:04 Then verse 5 illustrates that Delilah was ready 05:09 to provide consideration for cash. 05:14 Ladies, you do not have to lower your standards 05:18 or provide considerations for cash just to get something 05:23 from him. 05:24 Just because you need a ride somewhere doesn't mean 05:29 you have to provide ungodly considerations. 05:33 Just because you need help on an assignment doesn't 05:37 mean you have to provide ungodly considerations. 05:40 Just because you need some money doesn't mean you have 05:43 to provide ungodly considerations. 05:46 The story is told of a young lady. 05:48 She had a friend, it was a guy. 05:50 Male friend. 05:51 Not a boyfriend, but a guy friend. 05:53 He came to her with this article that was in the newspaper, 05:56 and he came to her and said, read this, read this. 05:58 Hey, look at this article. 05:59 They've got something in the paper, 06:01 they have something in the classified section. 06:03 I can't believe it, but it's something somebody just 06:05 might do. 06:06 The proposal was: If you will have sexual relations 06:10 one time with a man for 1 million dollars, 06:16 there are three things you are guaranteed of. 06:19 Number one, nobody will ever know. 06:23 Number two, there will be no disease. 06:28 Number three, no babies. 06:33 One million dollars. 06:35 Nobody will ever know, no disease, no babies. 06:39 One million dollars, no questions asked, 06:42 out the door. 06:43 He asked her, Would you do it? 06:48 She thought about it, just like somebody tonight is thinking 06:52 about it. 06:53 [Aud. reaction] PB: Nobody would know. 06:59 One million dollars, no disease, no babies, 07:04 out the door. 07:05 She thought about it and she says to him, Yes, I'll do it. 07:09 He then said to her, Well, will you do the same thing 07:12 for me, for $25? 07:15 She said, what do you think I am, a prostitute? 07:18 He said, We've already established that. 07:22 We're just negotiating price. 07:25 [Aud. reaction] PB: Young ladies, turn to that 07:28 young man right now and tell them, I'm not for sale. 07:33 And because, friends, you're not for sale, you need 07:37 to take all these for-sale and on-sale signs off. 07:47 What am I talking about? 07:49 I travel the country preaching, and I go to church, 07:52 and I see people with all this out. 07:55 With all this up here. 07:59 Who are you coming to meet? 08:01 Not the King of kings, not the Lord of lords. 08:04 I wish I had a witness in this place. 08:06 That is not of God. 08:09 I know you don't like it, but I'm going to preach it 08:11 anyhow. 08:12 All this we hear in our world today: Come as you are. 08:16 When we say come as you are, you are to come with your 08:20 heart as you are. 08:21 Not coming and looking any kind of way as you are. 08:25 God receives you where your heart is. 08:28 Are you hearing what I'm saying? 08:30 [Aud. reaction] PB: If we were going 08:32 to see President Obama, we would look nice, 08:34 we'd dress up, we'd be our best. 08:36 How much more, when we come into the house of God, to meet 08:39 the King of kings and the Lord of lords, take off all these 08:44 for-sale and on-sale signs. 08:48 You don't like that. 08:50 That's all right. 08:53 And it's just not the young people, either. 08:59 Preach, Pastor Byrd. 09:00 I'm doing the best I can. 09:03 We've got some old Casanova up in here. 09:06 [Aud. reaction] PB: Remember in this church, 09:09 we've got people that are getting married 09:11 after they are 90 years old. 09:13 Everybody, when we come to the house of God, 09:16 needs to act appropriately. 09:18 Dress appropriately. 09:20 I don't care how old you are, when we hug in church 09:24 during the welcome time, hug and keep it moving. 09:27 All these long hugs, oh it's so good to see--no, 09:33 you're not thinking that in your mind. 09:35 You are not thinking happy Sabbath! 09:37 Let her go. 09:38 Let him go. 09:39 Are you hearing what I'm saying? 09:41 [Aud. reaction] PB: Come here, Marva, 09:44 come here. 09:47 Stand up. 09:48 When I hug Sister Marva. 09:50 Marva: Praise Him. 09:52 PB: All this doesn't touch. 09:55 Men, that's how you hug the women. 09:57 And men, because we've got a lot of funny stuff going on. 10:01 Stand up, Elder Julius. 10:02 When the men hug the men, all this cheek-to-cheek 10:05 stuff has got to stop. 10:11 Come on, say amen! 10:12 Aud.: Amen. 10:13 PB: We got to be appropriate, come on, say amen! 10:19 Aud.: Amen! 10:20 PB: Hug appropriately, speak appropriately. 10:23 What are you talking about--pssss, pssss. 10:26 Is there a snake in here? 10:27 [Aud. reaction] PB: Text appropriately, 10:35 and let me give you some good advice on texting. 10:37 Don't you text anything you don't want to see again. 10:41 E-mail appropriately, behave appropriately, married 10:45 people, do what married people are supposed to do, 10:48 and unmarried people only do what unmarried people 10:50 are supposed to do. 10:51 Because if you're unmarried, quit doing permanent things 10:53 with temporary people. 10:54 Aud.: Amen! 10:55 PB: Be honest in your motivations for being 11:02 in a relationship. 11:03 Don't let folk lie to you to get what they want. 11:06 They need to be honest. 11:07 And speaking of money, let me throw this in. 11:09 I'm trying to help somebody. 11:11 Spending all your money on that man, spending all your 11:14 money on that woman. 11:15 They're going to come into my office crying next 11:18 semester, help me get in school. 11:20 Listen to me, I'll give you some counsel. 11:22 A person does not have to be rich for you to date them. 11:26 And a person doesn't have to be poor for you 11:28 to date them, either. 11:29 Come on, say amen. 11:30 Aud.: Amen. 11:31 PB: In fact, I'm suggesting doing date somebody 11:33 that doesn't have any money. 11:35 I'm not saying that, don't get it twisted. 11:38 I'm not saying you have to date somebody rich or poor, 11:40 but listen to me: When Christian, Kaylie 11:43 and Carissa, my three girls, when they are of sufficient 11:46 age to date. 11:47 And notice I said "to date," because they are 11:50 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17. 11:53 That's not sufficient to date. 11:54 If you're going to date and you're a teen, 11:59 everybody dates. 12:00 How many boyfriends? 12:02 I got the whole class! 12:04 [Laughter] Everybody, go out together. 12:08 Everybody go to the park together. 12:10 Everybody go to the mall together. 12:12 Everybody come to church together. 12:14 Everybody eat together. 12:15 Do I have a witness in this place? 12:17 All this being hugged up, privately. 12:19 All this isolation. 12:22 Young people, isolation. 12:23 That's why I drive around in my car, it's black and you 12:25 can't see it at night. 12:26 I turn off the lights so I can see who's out there. 12:28 Do you all hear what I'm saying? 12:30 It should not be! 12:33 But when Christian, Kaylie and Carissa 12:36 are of sufficient age to date and marry, yes. 12:40 I want them to love the brother, and I want the brother 12:43 to love them. 12:44 But I also want the brother to be able to take care 12:46 of my girls. 12:47 Do I have a witness in this place? 12:49 That's biblical. 12:50 Go back to Genesis, before God created Eve. 12:54 Before God made Eve, before God married Adam 12:57 and Eve, Adam had a j-o-b! 13:01 So, ladies, your motto ought to be: If you want to be 13:04 with me, you need a j-o-b. 13:06 Hallelujah, somebody! 13:07 Now, again, Pastor Byrd's not saying you have to be rich 13:12 in order to date. 13:14 But as a man, you should be able to take care 13:16 of your family. 13:17 Young ladies, if he can't take care of himself now, 13:19 how is he going to take care of you later. 13:21 So number one, love those who love you. 13:28 Be honest. 13:29 But then, number three. 13:31 There's a different twist here. 13:32 We have to get something different from this story 13:34 'cause we always read it. 13:35 So this is what I call "negative reinforcement." 13:38 You've got to be consistent. 13:40 What did I say, everybody? 13:41 Now, say what you want, but Delilah was consistent 13:49 in her questioning and line of questioning with Samson. 13:53 Now, why she was doing what she was doing was wrong. 13:58 But something should be said for the consistency by which 14:02 she was doing it. 14:04 Delilah kept asking Samson where his strength lay. 14:09 And because she was consistent, she got her desired result. 14:15 In response to his first answer, Delilah bound Samson 14:20 with seven green withs that were never dry. 14:22 In response to Samson's second answer, Delilah bound 14:26 him with new ropes that had never been occupied. 14:29 Understand, when that didn't work she asked him a third 14:32 time where his strength lieth, and in response to his 14:35 third answer she weaved the seven locks of his hair. 14:38 When that didn't work, she pressed him, came back 14:42 a fourth time, the Bible says. 14:43 He told her it was his hair, then she shaved his hair. 14:48 Now, she didn't love him. 14:51 She wasn't truthful with him. 14:55 But remember I said this sermon is not only about what not 15:00 to do, but what to do. 15:03 Delilah was consistent. 15:06 She was consistent and persistent 15:08 in her questioning. 15:10 She was consistent in her actions. 15:14 She was consistent in her behavior. 15:17 She didn't start anything she couldnít finish. 15:22 If your relationship is going to be a good 15:24 relationship, you've got to be consistent. 15:28 You ought to enter a relationship telling 15:30 individuals: Don't start anything that you can't finish. 15:35 Don't start opening a door for me now, if you're not 15:40 going to open the door for me in 20 years. 15:43 Don't start anything you can't finish. 15:45 Don't be taking me to Olive Garden and Mazziano's, 15:47 Cheesecake Factory and PF Chang's now, trying 15:51 to impress me with that expensive dinner just to try 15:54 to get what you're trying to get, and then once you get 15:56 what you're trying to get, you take me to McDonald's 15:58 to get a Happy Meal. 16:01 Don't start what you can't finish. 16:05 Don't send me flowers now, talking about you love me. 16:09 And then 5 years later, I can't get anything. 16:11 Don't start anything you can't finish. 16:13 In fact, don't even tell me you love me, if you're not going 16:16 to tell me that later. 16:18 So tell your wife, your husband, your boyfriend, your girlfriend, 16:23 you love them. 16:24 People are always talking about, Well, you know 16:26 how I feel. 16:27 No, they don't. 16:28 Tell them. 16:29 Say it. 16:30 There's nothing wrong with you saying it. 16:32 Open up your mouth and tell them. 16:35 Tell your child, your son, your daughter, your grandchild. 16:37 Tell them you love them. 16:39 Tell your friend, you love them. 16:41 Tell your spouse, you love them. 16:43 Men, listen to me. 16:44 Let's talk about what not to tell. 16:46 Stop going to the barber shop, talking about your wife. 16:49 Students, stop going to brothers, talking about 16:51 your girlfriend. 16:52 She can't cook. 16:53 She won't clean. 16:55 She's hard on a brother. 16:57 It's rough going home to that woman. 16:59 Y'all don't understand what I go through. 17:02 Hush your mouth. 17:03 And ladies, stop calling your friends or hanging out 17:05 in the beauty salon, talking about how trifling your man is. 17:07 He's trifling, he's lazy, he won't do a thing. 17:12 Because let me tell you, those same women your 17:14 talking to are the same ones taking notes, waiting for you 17:18 to move out so they can move on in. 17:20 Are you hearing what I'm saying? 17:23 God speaks well of us in spite of us. 17:27 God speaks well of you in spite of you. 17:32 You've got to consistently tell your spouse you love 17:35 him or her and speak words of praise in your 17:38 relationship, even if you've got to creatively stretch 17:41 the truth. 17:43 I didn't say lie. 17:47 I said creatively stretch the truth. 17:51 You know, it's elastic. 17:55 My wife just stepped out, so I can say this now. 17:57 Come on, say amen! 17:58 I know what's going on in your minds, but something 18:03 else has to come out of your mouth. 18:07 Ladies, you've still got to say to that man, you've got 18:10 to say to that brother, Baby, you're the finest man 18:13 in the world. 18:15 So my wife tells me. 18:16 Come on, say amen. 18:17 [Aud. reaction] PB: When God made you, 18:23 He must have been setting the standard. 18:27 Even if, in your mind, you're saying: I just married 18:30 the first man who's going to deliver a baby. Do I have 18:33 a witness in this place? 18:35 Brothers, you've got to be positive about your woman. 18:39 Say, Baby, this lasagna is good to me, 18:46 even if it is the worst. 18:47 Are you hearing what I'm saying? 18:49 You learn to sit there, eat it, suffer through it. 18:54 She's gone, but--when they come with these new recipes, 18:59 sit there, eat it, grin, and then you get your water 19:07 or your drink and you wash it down. 19:09 Come on, say amen. 19:11 Ladies, even if he goes out and buys you something 19:15 you know you're not going to wear, say Ooooo. 19:22 I thank God for you! 19:25 Even if you're thinking in your mind, What in the world 19:27 am I going to wear with this? 19:29 Just say, Baby, that was so precious, I love you. 19:32 Are you hearing what I'm saying? 19:34 You've got to consistently speak positive. 19:37 You've got to consistently tell that special someone 19:40 how much you love them. 19:42 You've got to make up in your mind that you're going 19:44 to speak well of them, if nobody else does. 19:46 Don't you ever let anybody else tell the one you love, 19:50 and say how fine they are, more than you. 19:53 Don't ever let anybody out-compliment you. 19:58 Speak positive. 20:00 Speak love. 20:02 Tell them you love them. 20:03 Let me close this way: I heard a preacher say how 20:10 he had been drinking a lot of water lately. 20:12 And he had been trying to do that, drink all this water, 20:18 to purify his system. 20:21 So one day he was driving in his car and the water bottle 20:29 that he was drinking out of began to talk to him, 20:32 in the Spirit. 20:34 He wasn't crazy, but as preachers we learn 20:38 to get a sermon out of anything. 20:40 And so he said, I was looking at the water bottle, 20:48 and the water bottle was saying, I'm going to help you preach 20:52 a sermon so that you might understand the love of God. 20:58 So the preacher said, Well, Mr. Water Bottle, 21:03 what's the deal? 21:04 The water bottle said, Well, preacher, look at me. 21:08 The preacher looked at the water bottle and said, 21:11 Well, you look like a --water bottle. 21:15 You look nice to me, and you're getting ready to pour 21:20 into me, and I sure need you. 21:21 The water bottle said, No, Mr. Preacher, before I pour 21:27 into you, I really want you to look at me. 21:31 The preacher said, Well, water bottle, you're pure. 21:39 You look good. 21:43 I'm getting ready to take the top off of you, 21:46 and I'm going to pour you into me. 21:50 Because Mr. Water Bottle, I need you right now. 21:53 The water bottle said, Well, before you 21:57 take the top off, before you pour me into you, 22:00 I want you to look at me a little closer. 22:03 So the preacher began to look a little closer. 22:08 Looking closer at the bottle, he saw a sign that said, 22:13 "recycled product." 22:15 And I thought about that. 22:18 The water bottle said, That's what I want you 22:22 to know about me. 22:23 You're looking at me now. 22:24 I look good, I look pure, I'm looking like I'm ready 22:28 to be poured into you. 22:29 But what I want you to know is where I come from. 22:32 I said, Well, talk to me, Mr. Water Bottle. 22:38 Help me preach this sermon. 22:40 The water bottle said, Well, let me tell you something, 22:43 Dr. Byrd. I can't tell you what happened, 22:47 but one day somebody used me up. 22:52 One day, somebody wasted me. 22:58 Somebody threw me out, somebody threw me 23:00 in the dump. 23:01 I was among trash, I was in the garbage, 23:04 I was among the lowest things of existence. 23:08 The water bottle said, But one day, somebody came by. 23:14 They picked me up. 23:19 Dusted me off. 23:22 Took me to the recycling plant. 23:24 They recycled me, and then they filled me back up again 23:27 so I could be here today to pour into you. 23:32 And I just stopped by to tell you that regardless 23:36 of how you've been used. 23:39 Regardless of how you've been abused. 23:42 Regardless of how you've been wasted. 23:44 Regardless of how you've been messed over. 23:46 Regardless of how you've been thrown out to the trash, 23:48 to the garbage, to the dumpster. 23:50 I want you to know that Jesus loves you. 23:54 That Jesus can pick you up again; hold you up again; 23:58 dust you off again. 24:00 He can fill you up again so that you'll be able to pour 24:04 into somebody else's life. 24:07 Greater love hath no man than this, who would lay 24:11 down his life for a friend. 24:16 For God so loved the world that He gave His only 24:21 begotten Son, that whoever believeth on Him should not 24:24 what, everybody? 24:25 Perish. 24:26 But have everlasting life. 24:27 Beloved, let us love one another. 24:29 For love is of God and everyone that loveth is born 24:33 of God and he that loveth knoweth God. 24:35 He that loveth not knoweth not God, for God is love. 24:38 Now, the two greatest commandments of which all 10 24:41 stem from are love for God and love for your fellow 24:45 man. 24:46 If we're talking about Extreme Makeover 24:48 Relationship Edition, we've got to learn how to love 24:51 each other. 24:53 But then also with that, the other great commandment 24:55 is to love God. 24:58 So then number one, in loving God and in loving 25:01 you, we must understand tonight as we begin 25:04 this journey this weekend, that we've got to learn to love 25:07 people who love you. 25:09 Stop being in relationships with folk who can't stand you. 25:13 Love people who love you. 25:15 Number two, you've got to be honest. 25:17 You've got to come to the table with honesty. 25:19 What's in the dark will come to light. 25:22 It will show up one day. 25:23 Number three, you've got to be consistent. 25:28 Be consistent with telling others that you love them. 25:33 And then number four, understand that we 25:36 are all recycled products. 25:37 All of us. 25:38 Everybody in here is an ex-something. 25:40 We are recycled products. 25:44 And we've got to love God. 25:56 >: The "Desire of Ages," the life story of the greatest 26:00 spiritual leader the world has ever known, Jesus Christ. 26:04 "Desire of Ages" goes in depth into events 26:07 surrounding the life of Jesus, giving you more 26:09 meaning and a clear picture of His impact on the world 26:13 and on those who choose to follow Him, even to this day. 26:16 In these uncertain times, "Desire of Ages" gives 26:19 direction for all who seek it. 26:21 The book answers hard questions confronting us all. 26:24 It examines basic spiritual truths, gives hope 26:27 and encouragement for tomorrow, and brings you face to face 26:30 with the Savior. 26:31 Get to know Him like never before. 26:34 "Desire of Ages" has been acclaimed by many 26:36 to be the most significant and deeply spiritual story 26:39 of the life of Christ ever written. 26:42 It is rich with wisdom and compassion, 26:44 written by the most translated woman writer in the entire 26:47 history of literature, Ellen White. 26:49 Just call our toll-free number, 1-877-BOL-OFFER. 26:54 That's 1-877-265-6333, and ask for your copy of 27:02 "Desire of Ages." 27:05 This book is yours for a gift of $5 or more. 27:09 Or, you may write to us at Breath of Life, Box 340, 27:13 Newbury Park, CA 91319. 27:15 The "Desire of Ages" is the greatest story ever told, 27:21 in a whole new light. 27:23 PB: Thank you very much for tuning in and watching 27:26 Breath of Life today. 27:27 We do hope that you were blessed by our ministry 27:30 and that we gave a healing word in a hurting world. 27:35 In order for Breath of Life to continue in ministry, 27:37 we need you. 27:39 We need your prayers, we need your support. 27:41 We want you to know that any and all donations, small 27:44 or great, they are sincerely welcomed and appreciated. 27:48 To contact us or to make your donations, please feel free 27:52 to give us a call at 877-BOL-OFFER. 27:56 That's 877-BOL-OFFER. 28:03 Or, you may write to us at Breath of Life, P.O. Box 340, 28:08 Newbury Park, CA 91319. 28:13 P.O. Box 340, Newbury Park, CA 91319. 28:18 Or log onto our website at www.BreathofLife.tv. 28:20 PB: The more the world condones sickness 28:27 as wellness, the less likely people are to work toward 28:30 relational wellness. |
Revised 2015-02-05