(Theme Song) Jesus is worthy
00:00:01.70\00:00:12.03
oh yes, he's
worthy worthy of all...
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all the praise.
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[music] Pastor
Byrd: Judges chapter 16,
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verse number 1.
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Judges chapter 16
and verse number 1.
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If you have it, let
me hear you say amen.
00:00:27.46\00:00:29.46
The Word of God
says in Judges 16:1,
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"Then went Samson to
Gaza, and saw there an harlot,
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and went in," the
Bible says, "unto her.
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And it was told the Gazites,
saying, Samson is come hither.
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And they compassed him
in, and laid wait for him all
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night in the gate of the city,
and were quiet all the night,
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saying, In the
morning, when it is day,
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we shall kill him."
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We shall do what, everybody?
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Aud.: Kill him.
00:00:53.36\00:00:54.36
PB: "Samson lay," verse 3
says, "till midnight, and arose
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at midnight, and took the
doors of the gate of the city,
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and the two posts, and went
away with them, bar and all,
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and put them upon his shoulders,
and carried them up to the top
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of an hill that
is before Hebron.
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And it came to pass afterward,
that he loved a woman."
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He loved a what, everybody?
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Aud.: Woman.
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PB: "In the valley of
Sorek, whose name was Delilah."
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Her name was what, everybody?
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Aud.: Delilah.
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PB: "And the lords of
the Philistines came up
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unto her, and said unto
her, Entice him, and see wherein
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his great strength
lieth, and by what means we may
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prevail against him, that
we may bind him to afflict him;
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and we will give thee every
one of us eleven hundred pieces
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of silver."And Delilah
said to Samson, Tell me,
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I pray thee, wherein
thy great strength lieth,
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and wherewith thou mightest
be bound to afflict thee."
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Verse 7.
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"And Samson said unto her,
If they bind me with seven green
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withs that were never
dried, then shall I be weak,
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and be as another man."
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You go on throughout Scripture,
verse 21, and read it tonight,
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you will discover that
four times Delilah came
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to him, and it was on the
fourth time that she came,
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he surrendered and told
her that his strength lieth
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in his hair.
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Tonight we begin this
journey of Extreme Makeover.
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Extreme Makeover,
Relationship Edition.
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Father in heaven, bless
us now as we preach Your Word
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to Your people.
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Hide us behind your cross,
and Lord, I pray that Your Word
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will permeate the
hearts of Your hearers tonight.
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I pray that You will
remove all distraction right now
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so that Thy people may
hear Thee specifically speaking
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to them.
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And tonight we're going
to praise You in advance
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for what You're going to do.
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In Jesus' name, amen Extreme
Makeover, Relationship Edition.
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The world of television
is a world of reality.
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The popularity of daytime
soap operas, family sitcoms
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and documentaries are
now in our world, giving way
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to real-life
drama and reality shows.
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Yes, television is
still home to crime-infested,
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sex-crazed dramas including
Scandal, House of Cards,
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and Orange Is the New Black.
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Don't act like you don't
know what I'm talking about.
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Tell the truth, shame the devil.
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Come on everybody, say amen.
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Aud.: Amen.
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PB: But now the Cosby Show,
Family Matters (Steve Erkel),
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Family Ties, and the
Brady Bunch have been replaced
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by reality TV.
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People today want
to see the real thing.
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So people now watch reality TV.
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Dancing with the Stars,
American Idol, The Voice,
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America's Next Top Model,
Real Housewives of Atlanta,
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or better yet this
new one that's out.
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Somebody had to tell
me, 'cause I didn't know it.
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Come on, say amen.
00:04:02.46\00:04:03.46
Atlanta Exes.
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And this reality craze
has even come to the church,
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because now we have
the Real Preachers of L.A.
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And we now have even
Preachers' Daughters.
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Now, I call these final
shows "the real of the real,"
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because about a decade ago,
when the reality TV boom hit,
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we just watched shows
like Extreme Makeover,
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where the show
revolved around ordinary men
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and women undergoing
extreme makeovers and they
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were originally, it wasn't
the Home Edition, but it was
00:04:36.43\00:04:38.43
just Extreme Makeover
where people were having
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plastic surgeries, exercise
regimens, new hairstyles
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and new wardrobes.
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But then a spinoff came
from that, the original Extreme
00:04:47.86\00:04:50.66
Makeover, and was called
Extreme Makeover Home Edition,
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where each edition,
each episode, if you will,
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was about a family who
had faced some type of crisis
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and they were in
need of a new home.
00:04:59.36\00:05:02.10
So, contractors and laborers
would come in, volunteer
00:05:02.10\00:05:04.53
and rebuild a new home
in its place at no cost
00:05:04.53\00:05:07.63
to the family.
00:05:07.63\00:05:08.63
Now, this Extreme Makeover
motif grew so much in popularity
00:05:08.63\00:05:14.10
that there was another
spinoff: Extreme Makeover
00:05:14.10\00:05:18.43
Marriage Edition.
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It didn't make
it, or it didn't last.
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It only had one episode.
00:05:21.73\00:05:22.73
But then there was another
spinoff: Extreme Makeover
00:05:22.73\00:05:25.83
Weight Loss
Edition, which became Extreme
00:05:25.83\00:05:29.40
Weight Loss.
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Tonight and this week,
we don't deal with those,
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but we deal with
Extreme Makeover, Spirituality
00:05:34.46\00:05:38.90
at Its Best.
00:05:38.90\00:05:40.66
Tonight we start
with Extreme Makeover,
00:05:40.66\00:05:43.93
Relationship Edition.
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One of the most interesting
things to observe today
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are the relationships people
find themselves in, because many
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people have really
never had a blueprint or seen
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a model or seen a
healthy relationship that they
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can follow.
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We're living in a
world where many sociologists
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and psychologists have
called this a "sick generation."
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What kind of generation?
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Aud.: Sick.
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PB: We're sick in many ways,
and one area that has affected
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all of us is that we
are sick relationally.
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The media celebrates things
like having a child first,
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then we'll get married later.
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Living together first,
we'll get married later.
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People change marriage
mates as often as one changes
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magazine subscriptions.
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People have been hurt by
one person of the opposite sex,
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and have now resorted
to becoming gender benders
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in order to find fulfillment.
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When God created, and
what He created, the institute
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in the Garden of Eden,
the biblical creation of God
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in the Garden of Eden,
as a marriage between a man
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and a woman is now
being challenged in our world
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with the evolution of Adam
and Steve, and Eve and Evette.
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We live in a sick world.
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And the more the
world condones sickness
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as wellness, the less
likely people are to work toward
00:07:04.13\00:07:07.63
relational wellness.
00:07:07.63\00:07:09.60
Now, the Bible has a lot
to say about relationships,
00:07:09.60\00:07:12.56
about what we should do
and what we should not do,
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and so tonight, quickly,
somebody is going to get
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an Extreme Makeover
Relationship Edition.
00:07:18.66\00:07:23.96
Tonight's message is going
to help somebody learn what
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not to do, because you
don't have to make the same
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mistakes that
somebody else has made.
00:07:30.13\00:07:32.76
And then tonight's message
is designed to help others
00:07:32.76\00:07:35.30
of you, of what to
do in a relationship.
00:07:35.30\00:07:37.56
So then, for some this message
is a message of prevention
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in what not to do, and
for others this message
00:07:39.90\00:07:41.90
is a message of prescription
for what you need to do.
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So tonight, everybody
gets medicine from Dr. Jesus.
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Come on, say amen.
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Aud.: Amen.
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PB: Now, our main
character in tonight's Extreme
00:07:54.40\00:07:59.83
Makeover Relationship
Edition is what we read
00:07:59.83\00:08:02.63
from Judges 16.
00:08:02.63\00:08:04.60
Our main character is Samson.
00:08:04.60\00:08:07.63
You know Samson.
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Mighty man.
00:08:09.26\00:08:10.96
Tough man.
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Strong man.
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It was Samson who killed a lion.
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It was Samson who
killed 30 men at Ashkelon.
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It was Samson who killed
1,000 men with the jawbone
00:08:21.56\00:08:25.56
of a donkey.
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You remember all these things,
because Samson was a strong man.
00:08:26.86\00:08:31.03
But Samson was a strong
man with a big weakness.
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Samson had a
weakness for romancing women.
00:08:35.70\00:08:40.30
Samson loved the ladies.
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Praise God, he was a
man that loved the ladies.
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Do I have a
witness in this place?
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[Aud. reaction]
PB: But his weakness
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for women often led
him on the road to revenge.
00:08:52.16\00:08:57.70
He was extremely
gifted, but not always godly.
00:08:57.70\00:09:01.93
He was strong on the
outside, but had no control
00:09:01.93\00:09:07.03
on the inside.
00:09:07.03\00:09:08.56
Samson, you see,
was a lot like us.
00:09:08.56\00:09:12.26
Most of us know what
it's like to be tempted.
00:09:12.26\00:09:14.30
Anybody know what
it's like to be tempted?
00:09:14.30\00:09:16.26
All of us struggle at times
with the desire for revenge.
00:09:16.26\00:09:21.26
We've been there, and we see
Samson struggling and falling,
00:09:21.26\00:09:24.96
and we have an idea of
what he's going through,
00:09:24.96\00:09:27.10
because the truth of the
matter is, there's a little bit
00:09:27.10\00:09:29.70
of Samson in all of us.
00:09:29.70\00:09:32.66
A whole lot of
Samson in most of us.
00:09:32.66\00:09:36.90
One of the things we
learn form Samson's life is that
00:09:36.90\00:09:39.60
sin will always take us
further than we want to go.
00:09:39.60\00:09:43.23
[Aud. reaction] PB:
Samson's Achilles heel
00:09:43.23\00:09:47.03
was lust.
00:09:47.03\00:09:48.33
The Bible says in verse
1 that Samson went to Gaza.
00:09:48.33\00:09:51.06
Enemy territory where
he should not have been in
00:09:51.06\00:09:53.10
the first place, and the
Bible says he saw a harlot.
00:09:53.10\00:09:55.10
He saw a what, everybody?
00:09:55.10\00:09:56.10
Aud.: Harlot.
00:09:56.10\00:09:57.10
PB: He saw a
harlot, he saw a prostitute.
00:09:57.10\00:09:59.16
The next thing you know,
Samson is spending the night
00:09:59.16\00:10:03.33
with this woman.
00:10:03.33\00:10:04.96
He's spending the
night with this prostitute.
00:10:04.96\00:10:08.83
Wham, bam, thank you, ma'am.
00:10:08.83\00:10:13.20
The Bible then says in
verse number 4, after the woman
00:10:13.20\00:10:16.13
in verse 1, the Bible
says in verse 4 that he loved
00:10:16.13\00:10:22.60
a woman in the valley of
Sorek whose name was Delilah.
00:10:22.60\00:10:26.46
Her name was what, everybody?
00:10:26.46\00:10:27.50
Aud.: Delilah.
00:10:27.50\00:10:28.50
PB: Now, you have to understand.
00:10:28.50\00:10:30.43
The Bible says
she's from the valley.
00:10:30.43\00:10:32.50
Which means, this woman
is not from a high place.
00:10:32.50\00:10:35.03
This woman
comes from the valley.
00:10:35.03\00:10:38.80
She comes from a low place.
00:10:38.80\00:10:41.40
There's something wrong
when somebody is only attracted
00:10:41.40\00:10:45.30
to lowdown people.
00:10:45.30\00:10:47.16
I cannot understand for
the life of me why strong
00:10:47.16\00:10:49.63
women are attracted to weak men;
why strong men are attracted
00:10:49.63\00:10:53.83
to weak women.
00:10:53.83\00:10:54.83
There's something wrong
when somebody is only attracted
00:10:54.83\00:10:57.76
to lowdown people.
00:10:57.76\00:10:59.56
The Bible says that Samson
fell in love with this woman,
00:10:59.56\00:11:04.13
in verse number 4, with
this woman from the valley.
00:11:04.13\00:11:08.03
But in reading the text over
and over, nowhere in Scripture,
00:11:08.03\00:11:12.03
nowhere in the text,
does it say that the woman
00:11:12.03\00:11:14.83
from the valley
was in love with him.
00:11:14.83\00:11:18.33
Samson loved her,
but she didn't love him.
00:11:18.33\00:11:24.23
So, if you're going to have a
makeover in your relationship,
00:11:24.23\00:11:28.63
number one,
you've got to stop loving
00:11:28.63\00:11:31.10
people who don't love you.
00:11:31.10\00:11:33.03
Aud.: Amen.
00:11:33.03\00:11:34.03
PB: The first time you
know something's wrong in your
00:11:34.03\00:11:36.30
relationship is when the
one you're so in love with, you
00:11:36.30\00:11:39.46
can't even get
them to say the words.
00:11:39.46\00:11:42.50
They can't even say I love you.
00:11:42.50\00:11:43.63
Here they go:
Well, I care about you.
00:11:43.63\00:11:45.66
[Aud. reaction] PB:
I'm in like with you.
00:11:45.66\00:11:50.66
There's something wrong.
00:11:50.66\00:11:52.53
I don't care, husband,
wife, boyfriend, girlfriend,
00:11:52.53\00:11:56.43
friend, friend.
00:11:56.43\00:11:57.43
There's something
wrong when you're always
00:11:57.43\00:11:59.86
the one calling.
00:11:59.86\00:12:01.70
You're always the one texting.
00:12:01.70\00:12:04.00
You're always the one e-mailing.
00:12:04.00\00:12:06.00
You're always the one tweeting.
00:12:06.00\00:12:08.43
You're always
the one Facebooking
00:12:08.43\00:12:09.46
and Instagraming.
00:12:09.46\00:12:09.86
You're always the one giving
and they never give a thing.
00:12:09.86\00:12:13.80
You're always the one
supporting, and they're never
00:12:13.80\00:12:15.66
there to support you.
00:12:15.66\00:12:16.46
Anybody know what
I'm talking about?
00:12:16.46\00:12:18.46
You're always running
behind them, and they never run
00:12:18.46\00:12:21.40
behind you.
00:12:21.40\00:12:22.40
You ought to make up in
your mind, I'm coming out
00:12:22.40\00:12:24.76
of these one-sided relationships
where I've always got
00:12:24.76\00:12:27.76
to give something and I'm never
getting anything in return.
00:12:27.76\00:12:31.43
If I can call
you, you can call me.
00:12:31.43\00:12:34.76
If I can text
you, you can text me.
00:12:34.76\00:12:39.16
If I can e-mail
you, you can e-mail me.
00:12:39.16\00:12:43.06
If I can do nice things
for you, you can do nice things
00:12:43.06\00:12:45.13
for me.
00:12:45.13\00:12:46.13
You've got to make up your
mind: I'm going to stop falling
00:12:46.13\00:12:49.13
in love with people
that don't even like me.
00:12:49.13\00:12:52.70
There are some folk
coming here tonight, they're
00:12:52.70\00:12:55.93
in love with folk who
care barely stand you.
00:12:55.93\00:12:59.20
You've got to make up your
mind, I'm not going to play
00:12:59.20\00:13:02.26
myself another day,
trying to love somebody
00:13:02.26\00:13:04.73
who doesn't love me.
00:13:04.73\00:13:06.13
If you can't love me for
who I am and you don't me
00:13:06.13\00:13:08.60
for what I bring to the table,
then there won't be anything
00:13:08.60\00:13:11.76
going on.
00:13:11.76\00:13:12.76
I'm through playing myself.
00:13:12.76\00:13:14.46
I refuse to go through
another academic year crying
00:13:14.46\00:13:17.00
all night long.
00:13:17.00\00:13:18.06
I refuse to walk
around depressed and hurt.
00:13:18.06\00:13:20.86
This far and no further.
00:13:20.86\00:13:22.63
I'm drawing a line in the sand,
the game is over, I will not
00:13:22.63\00:13:27.33
be in love with people
who don't even like me.
00:13:27.33\00:13:32.13
And one more thing,
let me throw this in.
00:13:32.13\00:13:34.13
I'm just an old
Adventist preacher, you know.
00:13:34.13\00:13:36.40
Some of you trying to love
folk that don't even love Jesus.
00:13:36.40\00:13:39.46
How is somebody going
to love you when they don't
00:13:43.36\00:13:45.36
love Jesus?
00:13:45.36\00:13:47.66
Now, I'm a young man,
but I'm a little old spirit,
00:13:47.66\00:13:49.76
so let me just throw this
out there at the beginning
00:13:49.76\00:13:51.76
of the school year.
00:13:51.76\00:13:52.76
Let me throw this out here:
I'm convinced, Pastor Byrd,
00:13:52.76\00:13:57.36
that Christians
ought to date Christians.
00:13:57.36\00:14:01.43
[Aud. reaction]
PB: I'm convinced
00:14:01.43\00:14:04.43
that Christians
ought to marry Christians.
00:14:04.43\00:14:08.03
But let me take
it a step further.
00:14:08.03\00:14:13.23
Some of you are going to
get mad, but I love you anyhow.
00:14:13.23\00:14:20.63
Adventists ought
to marry Adventists.
00:14:20.63\00:14:24.66
And notice I said
Christians first, and Adventists
00:14:24.66\00:14:28.40
second, because there
are some Adventists who
00:14:28.40\00:14:30.46
are not Christians.
00:14:30.46\00:14:31.53
I wish I had a
witness in this place.
00:14:31.53\00:14:33.53
[Aud. reaction] PB: If
dogs can get with dogs,
00:14:33.53\00:14:36.73
if cats can get with
cats, if fish can get with fish,
00:14:36.73\00:14:41.96
then Christians ought
to get with Christians,
00:14:41.96\00:14:44.40
because how can two walk
together unless they agree?
00:14:44.40\00:14:47.33
Are you hearing what I'm saying?
00:14:47.33\00:14:49.33
But not only
that, another lesson
00:14:49.33\00:14:51.30
from Extreme
Makeover Relationship Edition,
00:14:51.30\00:14:53.30
from this narrative, you
will discover that if you want
00:14:53.30\00:14:55.30
your relationship made
over, you've got to commit
00:14:55.30\00:14:57.50
yourself to honesty.
00:14:57.50\00:14:59.13
Everybody say "honesty."
00:14:59.13\00:15:00.83
Aud.: Honesty.
00:15:00.83\00:15:01.93
PB: Now, I don't care if
it's a relationship or game,
00:15:01.93\00:15:04.20
between husband and wife,
boyfriend girlfriend, friend
00:15:04.20\00:15:06.33
or friend. If you
want your relationship
00:15:06.33\00:15:08.73
to be a good one,
friends you've got
00:15:08.73\00:15:10.73
to be honest.
00:15:10.73\00:15:11.73
You've got to be honest
with your self and you've
00:15:11.73\00:15:13.73
got to be honest
with the other person.
00:15:13.73\00:15:15.73
You see, Delilah, not
only is she from a low place
00:15:15.73\00:15:18.33
but Delilah begins her
relationship with Samson,
00:15:18.33\00:15:21.93
lying.
00:15:21.93\00:15:22.93
She makes Samson think
that she really loves him,
00:15:22.93\00:15:28.10
but she's only in
it for some money.
00:15:28.10\00:15:32.76
She's lying about her
true feelings for Samson.
00:15:32.76\00:15:37.23
But then, not only Delilah,
not only that, but in every
00:15:37.23\00:15:40.76
response that Samson
gives for Delilah's questions
00:15:40.76\00:15:44.76
about his strength, he's lying.
00:15:44.76\00:15:46.90
Now you know something's
not right in the relationship
00:15:46.90\00:15:51.90
when you start off
lying, and they start off lying.
00:15:51.90\00:15:55.50
Yeah, that's my car,
00:15:57.76\00:15:59.76
that's my Benz,
that's my Beemer,
00:16:02.46\00:16:05.96
that's my SUV.
00:16:05.96\00:16:08.13
No, it's not.
00:16:08.13\00:16:10.96
It is not your car.
00:16:10.96\00:16:12.06
You went to the rental car
place, pulled off the sticker
00:16:12.06\00:16:14.56
and you are walking
around like everybody else.
00:16:14.56\00:16:17.70
Are you hearing what I'm saying?
00:16:17.70\00:16:19.70
Or better yet, this is Oakwood.
00:16:19.70\00:16:21.33
I'm graduating this year.
00:16:21.33\00:16:22.86
[Aud. reaction]
PB: No, you're not.
00:16:22.86\00:16:28.26
The Academic Affairs
Department get me wrong.
00:16:28.26\00:16:31.96
No, they didn't.
00:16:31.96\00:16:32.96
You have another semester to go.
00:16:32.96\00:16:37.10
Are you hearing what I'm saying?
00:16:37.10\00:16:39.10
Iím trying to throw
it out there for you.
00:16:39.10\00:16:41.10
I haven't dated anyone
since I've been at Oakwood.
00:16:41.10\00:16:44.56
Yes, you have.
00:16:44.56\00:16:46.66
You're just lying.
00:16:46.66\00:16:48.20
They just graduated,
and you're still here.
00:16:48.20\00:16:50.63
Are you hearing what I'm saying?
00:16:50.63\00:16:52.63
Or better yet, this is
what I get from church folk all
00:16:52.63\00:16:54.63
the time.
00:16:54.63\00:16:55.63
Church folk come to me,
"Pastor Byrd, I want to talk
00:16:55.63\00:16:57.63
to you.
00:16:57.63\00:16:58.63
I'm the CEO of a company."
00:16:58.63\00:17:00.70
No, you're not.
00:17:04.80\00:17:07.46
You have your own
multi-level marketing
00:17:07.46\00:17:10.23
business that you're
trying to get off the ground.
00:17:10.23\00:17:12.73
You're not the CEO,
you're the OE--only employee
00:17:12.73\00:17:17.03
of your company.
00:17:17.03\00:17:18.03
[Aud. reaction]
PB: And let me throw
00:17:18.03\00:17:20.03
this in.
00:17:20.03\00:17:21.86
For all of you who want
to start your own business,
00:17:21.86\00:17:26.56
you've got to work.
00:17:26.56\00:17:27.70
You've got to
do what, everybody?
00:17:27.70\00:17:29.70
Aud.: Work.
00:17:29.70\00:17:30.63
PB: You can't have
million-dollar dreams
00:17:30.63\00:17:32.70
with minimum-wage work ethic.
00:17:32.70\00:17:34.70
Can you really be with
somebody who can't be honest
00:17:37.60\00:17:40.76
with you up front?
00:17:40.76\00:17:42.80
Just tell me what's going
on at the front, and we won't
00:17:42.80\00:17:45.83
have all the
drama at the finish.
00:17:45.83\00:17:49.16
Because one lie
leads to another lie.
00:17:49.16\00:17:53.06
If you don't
have a job, tell me.
00:17:53.06\00:17:57.03
If you're still
dating somebody, tell me.
00:17:57.03\00:18:01.93
If you've got baby
mama drama, tell me.
00:18:01.93\00:18:07.66
If your ex-boyfriend
is crazy and possessive,
00:18:07.66\00:18:11.90
tell me.
00:18:11.90\00:18:14.50
Tell the truth, because
lying lips, the Bible says,
00:18:14.50\00:18:17.80
are an abomination to the Lord.
00:18:17.80\00:18:19.43
Are you hearing what I'm saying?
00:18:19.43\00:18:20.93
You've got to be
truthful with people.
00:18:20.93\00:18:22.23
You've got to even have
folk in your life that are going
00:18:22.23\00:18:23.76
to tell you the truth,
the whole truth, and nothing
00:18:23.76\00:18:25.40
but the truth.
00:18:25.40\00:18:25.90
You've got to get these
smiling, lying folk out of your
00:18:25.90\00:18:28.40
face.
00:18:28.40\00:18:28.76
You've got to
learn how to be honest.
00:18:28.76\00:18:30.10
You've got to be able
to talk--and listen to me
00:18:30.10\00:18:31.60
good--this is for
the married folks.
00:18:31.60\00:18:32.90
You've got to be able to talk
to your spouse about everything.
00:18:32.90\00:18:35.86
You've got to be ready and
able to deal with the truth
00:18:35.86\00:18:37.63
about you.
00:18:37.63\00:18:38.26
Some of us, we're quick to
tell other people the truth
00:18:38.26\00:18:40.50
about themselves, but we
don't want to hear them tell
00:18:40.50\00:18:42.76
us the truth about ourselves.
00:18:42.76\00:18:45.20
You'll be dead wrong.
00:18:45.20\00:18:47.73
Wrong!
00:18:47.73\00:18:48.93
in a situation.
00:18:48.93\00:18:50.73
And instead of your spouse
telling you the truth about
00:18:50.73\00:18:52.16
their
situation, they'll be quiet
00:18:52.16\00:18:53.73
just to keep the peace.
00:18:53.73\00:18:54.96
And you'll go out and
you'll make a fool of yourself,
00:18:54.96\00:18:56.70
but you've got to be able
to deal with the truth about
00:18:56.70\00:18:58.30
you.
00:18:58.30\00:18:59.40
Listen to me.
00:18:59.40\00:19:00.13
In many marriages
there is this 80-20 rule.
00:19:00.13\00:19:02.60
Pareto principle.
00:19:02.60\00:19:04.33
Some of you business
students know, Pareto principle.
00:19:04.33\00:19:05.83
Pareto principle says 20 percent
of the people do 80 percent
00:19:05.83\00:19:07.56
of the work.
00:19:07.56\00:19:08.90
But there's also an
80-20 rule in marriage.
00:19:08.90\00:19:12.80
Spouses know about 80
percent about their spouse.
00:19:12.80\00:19:18.56
The other 20 percent they
were too afraid to tell them
00:19:18.56\00:19:20.56
while they were
dating, because if they did,
00:19:20.56\00:19:22.56
they would have been afraid
that their spouse wouldn't have
00:19:22.56\00:19:24.56
married them if
they knew the real deal.
00:19:24.56\00:19:26.56
But we take that 20 percent.
00:19:26.56\00:19:28.40
Not we--people take that
20 percent, hold it close
00:19:28.40\00:19:32.93
to their vest until we
meet somebody outside of their
00:19:32.93\00:19:36.90
marriage who they
think can identify
00:19:36.90\00:19:39.26
with the other 20 percent.
00:19:39.26\00:19:41.76
But then that ends
up destroying marriages.
00:19:41.76\00:19:44.10
That's why, when you date
right now, you've got to ask
00:19:44.10\00:19:46.43
them for total disclosure.
00:19:46.43\00:19:48.06
You've got to tell them,
and you ought to want to tell
00:19:48.06\00:19:51.00
them, I want you to
feel comfortable telling
00:19:51.00\00:19:52.96
me everything.
00:19:52.96\00:19:53.96
Because if I can't
accept you for who you are right
00:19:53.96\00:19:55.96
now, then we must not
be meant to be together.
00:19:55.96\00:19:58.03
I'd rather you would tell me
now than to marry you and find
00:19:58.03\00:20:00.50
out 10 years later
that you had a dark side.
00:20:00.50\00:20:03.63
Your soul mate can
accept you for who you are.
00:20:03.63\00:20:06.33
The person that comes home,
not the person that everybody
00:20:06.33\00:20:08.53
else sees, but the
person that comes home.
00:20:08.53\00:20:11.50
I say it all the time: My
wife and three daughters are my
00:20:11.50\00:20:13.96
toughest members, because
they know if the Pastor Byrd
00:20:13.96\00:20:16.93
that you see is the same
Pastor Byrd that's at home.
00:20:16.93\00:20:21.33
When the mask if off.
00:20:21.33\00:20:22.76
When the suit is off.
00:20:22.76\00:20:26.86
For you, when
the nails come off.
00:20:26.86\00:20:31.40
When the hairpieces come off.
00:20:31.40\00:20:33.96
[Aud. reaction]
PB: When the teeth
00:20:33.96\00:20:37.76
[laughter] come out.
00:20:37.76\00:20:41.50
When everything
comes out, the real you.
00:20:41.50\00:20:46.30
You need to find somebody that
can accept you for the real you.
00:20:46.30\00:20:51.56
You need the truth, and
you've got to be truthful.
00:20:51.56\00:20:53.56
Delilah does not love Samson.
00:20:53.56\00:20:55.26
Delilah is not trying
to tell Samson the truth.
00:20:55.26\00:20:59.33
Money is her motivation.
00:20:59.33\00:21:03.40
But that wasn't strange to
Samson, because he was used
00:21:03.40\00:21:06.50
to ungodly
considerations for cash.
00:21:06.50\00:21:10.26
Which brings me to my
next point on this thing called
00:21:10.26\00:21:12.93
honesty.
00:21:12.93\00:21:14.10
Stop getting with
people in these relationships
00:21:14.10\00:21:17.73
just for money or just for
what they can get out of you.
00:21:17.73\00:21:22.26
Not only must you be truthful
and honest in your words,
00:21:22.26\00:21:24.46
but you've got to be truthful
and honest in your motives.
00:21:24.46\00:21:27.23
Look at verse 1.
00:21:27.23\00:21:28.90
Samson went in
with a prostitute.
00:21:28.90\00:21:32.00
Considerations or
compassion for cash.
00:21:32.00\00:21:39.66
Then verse 5 illustrates
that Delilah was ready
00:21:39.66\00:21:44.40
to provide
consideration for cash.
00:21:44.40\00:21:49.63
Ladies, you do not
have to lower your standards
00:21:49.63\00:21:53.33
or provide considerations
for cash just to get something
00:21:53.33\00:21:58.16
from him.
00:21:58.16\00:21:59.86
Just because you need a
ride somewhere doesn't mean you
00:21:59.86\00:22:04.30
have to provide
ungodly considerations.
00:22:04.30\00:22:08.40
Just because you need
help on an assignment doesn't
00:22:08.40\00:22:12.53
mean you have to
provide ungodly considerations.
00:22:12.53\00:22:15.53
Just because you need some
money doesn't mean you have
00:22:15.53\00:22:18.76
to provide
ungodly considerations.
00:22:18.76\00:22:21.30
The story is
told of a young lady.
00:22:21.30\00:22:23.40
She had a friend, it was a guy.
00:22:23.40\00:22:25.40
Male friend.
00:22:25.40\00:22:26.40
Not a boyfriend,
but a guy friend.
00:22:26.40\00:22:28.40
He came to her with this article
that was in the newspaper,
00:22:28.40\00:22:31.33
and he came to her
and said, read this,
00:22:31.33\00:22:33.40
read this.
00:22:33.40\00:22:34.40
Hey, look at this article.
00:22:34.40\00:22:35.40
They've got
something in the paper,
00:22:35.40\00:22:37.40
they have something in
the classified section.
00:22:37.40\00:22:39.36
I can't believe it,
but it's something somebody
00:22:39.36\00:22:41.36
just might do.
00:22:41.36\00:22:42.36
The proposal was: If you
will have sexual relations
00:22:42.36\00:22:45.70
one time with a man
for 1 million dollars,
00:22:45.70\00:22:51.56
there are three
things you are guaranteed of.
00:22:51.56\00:22:54.83
Number one,
nobody will ever know.
00:22:54.83\00:22:58.46
Number two, there
will be no disease.
00:22:58.46\00:23:03.63
Number three, no babies.
00:23:03.63\00:23:08.90
One million dollars.
00:23:08.90\00:23:10.60
Nobody will ever
know, no disease, no babies.
00:23:10.60\00:23:14.16
One million
dollars, no questions asked,
00:23:14.16\00:23:18.40
out the door.
00:23:18.40\00:23:18.73
He asked her, Would you do it?
00:23:18.73\00:23:23.20
She thought about it, just like
somebody tonight is thinking
00:23:23.20\00:23:27.13
about it.
00:23:27.13\00:23:28.13
[Aud. reaction]
PB: Nobody would know.
00:23:28.13\00:23:34.50
One million dollars, no disease,
no babies, out the door.
00:23:34.50\00:23:39.80
She thought about it and she
says to him, Yes, I'll do it.
00:23:39.80\00:23:44.46
He then said to her,
Well, will you do the same thing
00:23:44.46\00:23:47.10
for me, for $25?
00:23:47.10\00:23:50.83
She said, what do you
think I am, a prostitute?
00:23:50.83\00:23:53.50
He said, We've
already established that.
00:23:53.50\00:23:57.16
We're just negotiating price.
00:23:57.16\00:24:00.06
[Aud. reaction]
PB: Young ladies,
00:24:00.06\00:24:02.53
turn to that young man
right now and tell them,
00:24:02.53\00:24:05.16
I'm not for sale.
00:24:05.16\00:24:08.60
And because, friends,
you're not for sale, you need
00:24:08.60\00:24:12.70
to take all these
for-sale and on-sale signs off.
00:24:12.70\00:24:22.26
What am I talking about?
00:24:22.26\00:24:24.36
I travel the country
preaching, and I go to church,
00:24:24.36\00:24:27.90
and I see people
with all this out.
00:24:27.90\00:24:30.43
With all this up here.
00:24:30.43\00:24:34.46
Who are you coming to meet?
00:24:34.46\00:24:36.03
Not the King of
kings, not the Lord of lords.
00:24:36.03\00:24:38.96
I wish I had a
witness in this place.
00:24:38.96\00:24:40.96
That is not of God.
00:24:40.96\00:24:44.36
I know you don't like it,
but I'm going to preach it
00:24:44.36\00:24:46.36
anyhow.
00:24:46.36\00:24:47.36
All this we hear in our
world today: Come as you are.
00:24:47.36\00:24:51.40
When we say come as
you are, you are to come
00:24:51.40\00:24:54.86
with your heart as you are.
00:24:54.86\00:24:56.60
Not coming and looking
any kind of way as you are.
00:24:56.60\00:25:00.06
God receives you
where your heart is.
00:25:00.06\00:25:03.20
Are you hearing what I'm saying?
00:25:03.20\00:25:05.20
[Aud. reaction] PB:
If we were going to see
00:25:05.20\00:25:07.20
President Obama,
we would look nice,
00:25:07.20\00:25:09.20
we'd dress up, we'd be our best.
00:25:09.20\00:25:11.36
How much more, when we
come into the house of God,
00:25:11.36\00:25:14.23
to meet the King of kings
and the Lord of lords, take off
00:25:14.23\00:25:19.23
all these
for-sale and on-sale signs.
00:25:19.23\00:25:23.10
You don't like that.
00:25:23.10\00:25:25.90
That's all right.
00:25:25.90\00:25:28.80
And it's just not
the young people, either.
00:25:28.80\00:25:31.80
Preach, Pastor Byrd.
00:25:34.13\00:25:35.13
I'm doing the best I can.
00:25:35.13\00:25:38.23
We've got some old
Casanova up in here.
00:25:38.23\00:25:41.13
[Aud. reaction] PB:
Remember in this church,
00:25:41.13\00:25:44.03
we've got people
that are getting married
00:25:44.03\00:25:46.03
after they are 90 years old.
00:25:46.03\00:25:48.20
Everybody, when we
come to the house of God,
00:25:48.20\00:25:51.26
needs to act appropriately.
00:25:51.26\00:25:53.26
>: The "Desire of Ages,"
the life story of the greatest
00:25:56.90\00:26:00.26
spiritual leader the world
has ever known, Jesus Christ.
00:26:00.26\00:26:04.46
"Desire of Ages"
goes in depth into events
00:26:04.46\00:26:07.16
surrounding the
life of Jesus, giving you
00:26:07.16\00:26:09.56
more meaning and a clear picture
of His impact on the world
00:26:09.56\00:26:13.10
and on those who choose to
follow Him, even to this day.
00:26:13.10\00:26:16.66
In these uncertain
times, "Desire of Ages" gives
00:26:16.66\00:26:19.70
direction for all who seek it.
00:26:19.70\00:26:21.23
The book answers hard
questions confronting us all.
00:26:21.23\00:26:24.86
It examines basic
spiritual truths, gives hope
00:26:24.86\00:26:27.66
and encouragement for tomorrow,
and brings you face to face
00:26:27.66\00:26:30.50
with the Savior.
00:26:30.50\00:26:31.93
Get to know Him
like never before.
00:26:31.93\00:26:34.10
"Desire of Ages" has been
acclaimed by many to be the most
00:26:34.10\00:26:37.10
significant and deeply spiritual
story of the life of Christ
00:26:37.10\00:26:41.03
ever written.
00:26:41.03\00:26:42.30
It is rich with
wisdom and compassion,
00:26:42.30\00:26:44.66
written by the most
translated woman writer n
00:26:44.66\00:26:46.66
the entire history of
literature, Ellen White.
00:26:46.66\00:26:49.66
Just call our toll-free
number, 1-877-BOL-OFFER.
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That's 1-877-265-6333,
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00:26:54.06\00:27:02.20
"Desire of Ages."
00:27:02.20\00:27:05.90
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Or, you may write to us
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Newbury Park, CA 91319.
00:27:12.90\00:27:18.06
The "Desire of Ages" is
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00:27:18.06\00:27:21.66
in a whole new light.
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PB: The more the world
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the less likely people
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