Participants: Carlton P Byrd
Series Code: BOL
Program Code: BOL000125
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00:01 ♪ (Theme Song) ♪ ♪ Jesus is worthy ♪
00:11 ♪ oh yes, he's worthy ♪ ♪ worthy of all... ♪ 00:17 ♪ all the praise ♪ ♪ (Theme) ♪ 00:20 Pastor Byrd: Stop trying to holler at every woman 00:23 who comes your way. 00:25 Because what will happen is--listen to me good--you will 00:28 develop an understanding of women where you 00:30 will look for a wife or a girlfriend like you look 00:32 for a car. 00:36 You know, when you shop for a car, the first thing 00:39 you do, you go to as many car lots as possible. 00:42 You like that, don't you? 00:45 Number two, you always want to know how that body looks. 00:55 Number three, you really want to test drive before purchasing. 01:03 Number four, you're very curious about how much mileage it has 01:08 and how many previous owners it has had. 01:11 [laughter/applause] And number five, 01:20 you want the most out of it with the least cost possible. 01:27 Ladies, do me a favor, in the choir, do it now. 01:30 Turn to that brother and say, "You can't drive this." 01:37 Tell them, "I'm not for sale." 01:42 Now let me get on the ladies. 01:44 Listen to me. 01:53 Because you're not for sale, you need to take off all these 01:59 for-sale and on-sale signs. 02:04 Preach, Pastor Byrd. 02:08 [applause] Coming to church 02:15 with all this out. 02:16 All this showing. 02:23 All this up here, it ought not be. 02:26 Oh, you don't like that. 02:28 I'm gonna preach it anyhow. 02:30 That's not of God. 02:32 I hear all this talk. 02:34 Come as you are. 02:36 [laughter] Come as you are. 02:41 Don't give that statement bad theology. 02:43 Come as you are is not talking about how you 02:45 come when you look. 02:46 It's talking about your heart. 02:48 Come as you are with your heart, and God can change 02:52 that stony heart. 02:55 Come as you are don't mean I'm coming into the house of God 02:58 any kind of way, looking any kind of way, this showing, 03:01 that showing, for sale and on sale. 03:04 God is not pleased. 03:06 If Jesus himself were in here, the King of kings and the Lord 03:10 of lords, you would not come in the house of God 03:13 looking like that. 03:17 If hot, cover that stuff up. 03:19 You all don't like it, I'm gonna tell it anyhow. 03:25 And let me say this: it's just not the young 03:29 folk either. 03:30 [cheering, applause] We got some old Casanova 03:38 up in this place. 03:39 You do know that people at the Oakwood church 03:49 at 90 years old still get married. 03:51 Come on, say Amen. 03:54 Got old folk, Stella getting her groove back. 03:59 [applause] That's for the old folk too. 04:02 Cover that stuff up. 04:07 Ain't nobody got time for that. 04:08 Cover that stuff up. 04:11 Everybody needs to act appropriately. 04:14 And when I say act appropriately, 04:16 that's for everybody. 04:17 I don't care how old you are. 04:19 Listen. 04:20 When we hug in church during the welcome time, 04:24 hug and keep it moving. 04:28 All these long hugs are inappropriate. 04:33 Come here, Manders, come here. 04:35 Yes, you. 04:37 Jill, come here. 04:38 Come here. 04:39 I'm trying to help you get ready for this academic year. 04:42 Come on, say Amen. 04:44 When you hug the ladies, I'm trying to help you, 04:47 stand right there. 04:49 When you hug the ladies [cheering, applause]. 05:02 Brothers, when you hug the men [laughter, applause]. 05:09 All this cheek-to-cheek stuff, that's got to stop. 05:12 Come on, say Amen. 05:13 All right, I'm through, go sit down. 05:17 Hug appropriately. 05:21 Speak to each other appropriately. 05:25 Text each other appropriately. 05:28 And let me give you some advice. 05:33 Don't you text anything to anybody that you're not 05:36 prepared to see again. 05:41 E-mail appropriately. 05:45 Post on Facebook appropriately. 05:49 Behave appropriately. 05:55 Marry people do what married people are supposed to do, 05:57 and unmarried people only do what unmarried people 05:59 are supposed to do. 06:00 If you're unmarried, quit doing permanent things 06:03 with temporary people. 06:05 [applause] Now, in Genesis 2 the Bible says that when God 06:13 created Eve, he took a rib. 06:16 One rib. 06:20 Which means, brothers, you can't be going around 06:25 with a slab of ribs. 06:29 One means one. 06:33 But if you read Genesis 2:22 very carefully, ladies, again, 06:36 because this is an equal opportunity sermon, the Bible 06:39 says that God presented Eve to Adam. 06:46 The Bible says in verse 22 of Genesis 2, "And the rib 06:48 which the Lord God had taken from man 06:50 made he a woman, and he brought her unto the man." Ladies, 06:55 let God present you. 06:59 Stop trying to present yourself. 07:03 Let God present you. 07:06 But I've got to let him see me, I've got to let him view me. 07:09 No! 07:11 Let God present you. 07:13 Listen, God put Adam to sleep. 07:17 And we don't know how long Adam slept before God woke him up 07:21 and presented him with Eve. 07:23 Ladies, it's not your job to wake Adam up. 07:25 Listen, some of you are in class with your 07:34 future husband, and you like him, and you 07:38 may be the one for him, but he doesn't know it yet, 07:42 because he's still asleep. 07:46 Some of you go to church with your future husband, 07:49 and you may, yes, be the one for him, 07:51 and he may be the one for you, but he doesn't know it yet, 07:58 because he's asleep. 08:01 But you don't have to wake him up. 08:05 You don't have to stalk him. 08:08 You don't have to sweat him. 08:12 You don't have to be in his face all the time. 08:16 No good man wants a desperate woman. 08:19 [applause] Goodbye, relationship drama. 08:25 Ladies, if you want to get married, remember this counsel. 08:33 Someone once said, "Women fall in love and get married. 08:40 Men decide to get married and then look for a wife." 08:44 Women fall in love 08:55 and get married. 08:57 Men decide to get married and then look for a wife." 09:05 That's why a man can go one, two, three, four years 09:08 at Oakwood and then get down to the last semester, 09:11 and they say, "I now gotta find a wife." They done played 09:18 the fool, and now they gotta find a wife. 09:21 Not only that, brothers and sisters, respect. 09:24 I wish I had more time. 09:26 This is good, it's good. 09:27 When we talk about respect, and this is not just 09:33 for the students, this is for the older folk 09:35 too who are married, respect your spouse 09:38 when it comes to your parents. 09:42 The Bible says leave and cleave. 09:44 When God gives you a husband or a wife, you're going 09:46 to have to be a team. 09:48 No longer can you cling to your parents. 09:51 There's too much parental influence in marriage today. 09:53 You've got family members running your house. 09:55 You've got mommas and daddies running your house. 09:58 Tell Big Mama to stay in her house, you've got your house. 10:01 You've got to let your family know, this is my wife. 10:06 This is my husband. 10:08 I appreciate your advice, I appreciate your counsel, 10:11 but you've got to stay out of my house, because we're a team. 10:15 No longer can you cleave to your parents. 10:17 Husbands, when God gives you a wife, nobody comes 10:19 before your wife. 10:21 Don't put your mama before your wife. 10:23 Wives, when God gives you a husband, don't put your mama 10:27 or your daddy before your husband. 10:29 And when talking about respect, don't be in the street talking 10:33 about your spouse. 10:35 Brother, you're sitting in the barber shop talking 10:37 about your wife. 10:38 She can't cook. 10:40 She won't clean. 10:41 It's hard on a brother. 10:44 It's rough going home to that woman. 10:47 And ladies, stop going to the beauty shop 10:49 talking to your girlfriends. 10:50 He's so childish, he's so lazy, he can't do this, 10:53 he won't do anything. 10:54 Because those same women you're talking to 10:56 about your husband are the same ones 10:58 trying to get your man. 10:59 [applause] Husbands, you need to be there for your wife. 11:07 Wives, you need to be there for your husbands. 11:10 Listen to me. 11:11 You need to be on the mound, throwing strikes. 11:13 Because if you're not on the mound, throwing strikes, 11:15 believe me, there's someone in the bullpen warming up, 11:18 ready to get your spot. 11:20 You've got to let folk know, I refuse to let you 11:25 disrespect my family. 11:27 I refuse to let you disrespect my wife or disrespect 11:29 my husband in front of me. 11:30 You're not going to do that. 11:34 People come up to me all the time, Dr. Byrd, 11:36 Dr. Byrd, oh, can we take a picture. Okay. 11:38 Husbands, when you're with your wife and Sheila 11:43 comes by--I don't think we have any Sheilas. 11:45 Hey, Johnny. 11:52 You gotta say, but this is my wife 11:54 standing next to me, and I'd like for you 11:57 to say hello to her too. 11:59 Same thing, wives. 12:05 When you're with your husband and Tommy comes by, Tommy, oh 12:13 [laughter], Timmy comes by. 12:21 Let me look at my wife. 12:23 Hey, girl. 12:24 You gotta say uh-uh, this is my husband. 12:31 Let me tell you something. 12:33 Don't let folk disrespect your spouse in front of you, 12:36 because 90 percent of the time they're really trying to do it. 12:40 You gotta let folk know where they stand. 12:43 You gotta set parameters, you gotta set boundaries. 12:46 You gotta defend each other, you're on the same team, 12:48 you gotta respect. 12:49 Paul said, "Love suffereth long. 12:51 Love is kind, love envieth not, love vaunteth not itself, 12:53 love does not behave itself unseemly, it seeketh not 12:56 its own, is not easily provoked, love thinketh no evil." 13:00 Reciprocity, responsibility, respect and romance. 13:13 Love your husband. 13:16 Love your wife. 13:20 I love my wife. 13:31 [applause] If you're dating a girl, brother, 13:33 love your girlfriend. 13:36 Love your boyfriend. 13:37 Love yourself, and love Jesus. 13:46 Now, when we talk about romance, and I'm preaching to myself, 13:54 don't start anything you can't finish. 13:57 Don't start opening up the door for me now if you're not going 14:03 to open up the door for me in 20 years. 14:06 Don't start anything you can't finish. 14:08 Don't send me flowers now, talking about you love me, 14:13 and five years later I don't get a thing. 14:17 Don't carry my umbrella for me in the rain now if you're not 14:20 going to carry the umbrella for me in the rain later. 14:23 Don't be taking me to Olive Garden, P. F. Chang's, 14:28 and if you go to Nashville or Atlanta, Maggiano's, 14:31 trying to impress me with some expensive dinner 14:34 to try to get what you're trying to get, and then once you get 14:38 what you get, you're now trying to take me to McDonald's 14:41 to get a Happy Meal? 14:48 [laughter, applause] Baby, you can get a Happy Meal. 14:56 Happy Meal? 14:57 Yeah, but you can supersize it. 15:03 Husbands, you ought to want your wife to have the best. 15:10 Wives, you ought to want your husbands to have the best. 15:12 I want my wife to have the best. 15:14 I want her to drive the best. 15:17 Live the best. 15:18 Look the best, wear the best. 15:20 So when somebody looks at her, they'll say, you know what? 15:24 I'm not even going to try to tempt her. 15:27 She's out of my league. 15:29 She's out of my league because she's full. 15:31 Some sister ought to look at a brother and say, 15:34 don't worry about it, I'm fine and I'm full. 15:38 You've got to know who God has made you 15:40 to be because you're in a relationship, 15:42 and if the one that you love is hungry, it's your fault. 15:44 Because you know what? 15:46 If you're real hungry, you'll eat out of a garbage can. 15:56 If you're real hungry, you'll say, give me a piece 15:58 of that sandwich. 16:00 I know you've been eating it, but can I share your sandwich 16:04 with you? 16:06 And in the church we've got too many folks sharing 16:09 other folks' sandwiches because you're hungry. 16:15 Romance--oh, they're going to buy this tape. 16:20 [laughter] Praise God for the ministry, 16:23 come on, say Amen. 16:27 Now, brothers, I know when you get married 16:31 things start changing. 16:35 When you met at Oakwood she was fine. 16:37 She's still fine. 16:38 She had it going on, but now things are changing. 16:40 But you've got to look at her and say, baby, you're just 16:43 as fine as you were when I first met you. 16:47 This is what you've got to do. 16:49 I'm trying to help the brothers. 16:51 What am I, Master C, Master P, you know, 16:53 I'm trying to help brothers. 16:58 Tell your wife, brothers, trying to help you. 17:01 Come on, baby. 17:03 Let's go to the mall. 17:04 Let's talk to Victoria and see if she'll give us 17:07 one of those secrets tonight. 17:09 Come on, say Amen. 17:12 You've got to let her know that she's still, she's going 17:17 to kill me tonight. 17:23 You gotta let her know that she's still the apple 17:28 of your eye. 17:31 You've got to affirm her. 17:33 Sisters, he knows he has Dunlap now. 17:43 He knows that his stomach done lap over his belt, 17:50 are you hearing what I'm saying? 17:53 But you gotta let him know, baby, I still see that six-pack 17:59 I saw ten years ago. 18:04 Can't nobody else see it, but baby, I see it. 18:08 [applause] Let me tell you a secret. 18:16 Don't go out of the house like this. 18:18 What you do. 18:19 I'm a 44 long suit. 18:20 I wear a large size t-shirt. 18:22 So to show off my six-pack, even though I'm still Dunlap 18:26 a little bit. 18:28 Brother, I'm trying to give you a secret. 18:31 When you get home at night, you can go to the store, 18:34 go to Wal-Mart, I'm talking about 18:36 the married folk, so your six-pack's 18:38 still in shape, you're a large t-shirt. 18:42 Go buy you a small. 18:44 [laughter] And put that small--don't come out, now-- 18:52 put that small t-shirt on, and then... 19:06 Love bears all things. 19:11 Believes all things. 19:16 Hopes all things. 19:19 Endures all things. 19:23 Brothers, massage her feet. 19:26 Sisters, scratch his back. 19:30 Go out to dinner. 19:34 Hang out together. 19:37 Lay and lean on the couch together. 19:40 Laugh together. 19:43 Romance together. 19:46 Young people, be nice to each other. 19:49 Say kind things to one another. 19:53 Recite poetry together. 19:56 Go to church together. 20:00 Ladies, when he invites you out on a date, tell him you'll meet 20:03 him at the Oakwood church and sit together in the balcony, 20:07 and then have dinner in the cafeteria. 20:10 Go to the duck pond together. 20:14 Romance each other. 20:17 You gotta learn how to romance 20:25 each other--listen to me. 20:29 Even in tough situations. 20:34 Every marriage goes through it. 20:36 You have a tough situation. 20:41 My wife and I, 14 years ago, went through a tough situation. 20:45 Some freshmen, you may not know, 20:50 Pastor and Mrs. Byrd, this is not our third child 20:54 we're expecting, this is our fourth. 20:59 Our first-born daughter was four and a half months. 21:03 She was killed in a tragic car accident. 21:09 When I think about it now, Christyn's going to grade 7, 21:11 Caileigh's going to grade 5. 21:14 Caitlin, our oldest daughter, she was blessed right here 21:16 in this church. 21:19 She would be going in the academy this year. 21:25 Not a day goes by that I don't see a child 14 years old 21:28 and I look and I say, that would have been 21:37 my daughter. 21:40 Even in the tough times you got to romance each other. 21:48 The late great preacher, some of the preachers 21:50 may know him, E. B. Hill, he used to come on television, 21:53 and he tells the story when he preached the eulogy 22:02 at his wife's funeral. 22:04 He talked about when he had been on the road preaching, 22:08 conducting revivals all across the United States, and while he 22:13 was doing all this, and he was traveling, 22:15 and I think about my own experience when I think about 22:19 E. B. Hill, because, you know, I travel, I go here, 22:22 got to preach for Breath of Life and all that kind of stuff. 22:25 And a lot of times I have to leave my wife and my children 22:27 behind. 22:28 And so he talks about how he was preaching and conducting 22:31 revivals, traveling from city to city, and he and his wife 22:34 at the time were going through a very tough time financially. 22:40 One night he came home from revival, just like tonight, 22:43 and when he walked into their home, the house 22:49 was dark. 22:52 There were candles all lit in the house. 22:56 His wife was trying to protect him from some things. 23:01 He walked in and the candles were lit everywhere 23:03 in the house, in every room. 23:04 And then he walked into the dining room 23:07 and he saw a candlelight dinner. 23:09 He said, oh, my baby has fixed a candlelight dinner for us. 23:17 He sat down at the table, he was so proud, 23:20 smiling from ear to ear. 23:21 He had just finished preaching, he had just come home, and his 23:24 wife had made them a candlelight dinner. 23:26 He said, let me get up and go to the bathroom, let me wash 23:30 my hands. 23:32 He went into the bathroom, he flipped on the light switch, 23:36 and he realized the lights weren't on. 23:43 He went throughout the whole house, flipping light switches 23:46 on, flipping them on, flipping them off, 23:48 and it dawned him that they didn't have the money 23:51 to pay the light bill. 23:54 He had been preaching, he had been traveling, 23:57 they were going through it financially. 23:59 They didn't have the money to pay the light bill. 24:03 Rather than his wife fuss at him and say, 24:07 "You're trifling, you don't care about us, 24:11 you're away from home working and we can't even pay 24:14 the light bill," she got some candles. 24:18 Said, "Baby, let's have a candlelight dinner. 24:26 We'll just make the best out of this negative situation, 24:29 because we're in this thing together." That's the type 24:34 of romance you've gotta have, even in the tough times. 24:38 That's how you get rid of relationship drama: 24:41 reciprocity, responsibility, respect and romance. 24:49 The world is full of folk who get married 24:51 for the wrong reasons. 24:52 Don't get married because you feel pressure from other people. 24:56 Don't get married just because you made a mistake 24:59 and got pregnant. 25:00 Don't make two mistakes. 25:01 Two wrongs never made one right. 25:03 Don't get married just because you think your biological clock 25:06 is ticking and time is running out. 25:09 Let me tell you something: marriage is more than that. 25:14 You can do bad by yourself. 25:18 I tell young people all the time when they come to me 25:21 for counseling, it's better to be happily unmarried 25:24 than to be unhappily married. 25:28 Let me tell you something. 25:31 After you love yourself and love your spouse, love your 25:34 girlfriend, your boyfriend, on Saturday night, if you're by 25:40 yourself, you and Jesus get together. 25:45 Get you some popcorn, get you a DVD, get a blanket, 25:49 and you and Jesus snuggle up together. 25:52 And when somebody calls you and asks you what you're doing, 25:56 tell them, I'm wrapped up, tied up, tangled up in Jesus. 26:04 He's all I need. 26:05 If you have to go to the mall by yourself, then you and Jesus 26:10 go together. 26:11 If you have to eat dinner by yourself, then you and Jesus 26:14 eat dinner together. 26:16 If you have to go to the basketball game 26:18 or the football game by yourself, you and Jesus 26:20 just go. 26:21 It'll be cheaper if you and Jesus just go. 26:24 You won't have to by soda and pizza and nachos and cheese. 26:27 Jesus is the best thing that ever happened to you. 26:34 Before you look for a man this year, before you look 26:36 for a woman this year, look for Jesus. 26:39 If you're in a relationship or in a marriage right now 26:42 and it's crumbling, look to Jesus. 26:46 What a wonderful change in my life has been wrought since 26:50 Jesus came into my heart. 26:51 You've got to make up your mind. 26:53 I'm tired of running after people, I'm tired 26:55 of letting people play me, I'm tired of all the games, 26:57 I'm tired of all the hurt. 26:59 If you want to love me, then you've got to love me 27:01 like Jesus loves me. 27:05 I love you, Jesus. 27:10 I worship and adore you. 27:14 Too many of you tonight are in relationship drama. 27:23 It's affecting you spiritually, it's affecting you academically, 27:29 it's affecting you financially, it's affecting you socially. 27:34 Too many of you are in relationship drama. 27:37 And tonight you've got to say goodbye, relationship drama. 27:43 How? 27:45 Reciprocity, responsibility, respect, romance. 27:57 I love you, Jesus. 28:00 I worship and adore you. 28:07 I just want to tell you. 28:11 That I love him more than anything. 28:18 Marry people do what married people are supposed to do, 28:20 and unmarried people only do what unmarried people 28:22 are supposed to do. 28:23 If you're unmarried, quit doing permanent things 28:25 with temporary people. 28:27 No good man wants |
Revised 2015-02-06