Participants: Carlton P Byrd
Series Code: BOL
Program Code: BOL000124
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00:01 (Theme Song) Jesus is worthy
00:11 oh yes, he's worthy worthy of all... 00:18 all the praise (Theme) 00:22 Pastor Byrd: Tonight is "Goodbye, 00:24 Relationship Drama." 00:28 And so tonight we're going to bowl down somebody's alley. 00:31 I just hope you're ready to receive what God 00:34 asks for you. 00:35 Everybody say, "What God asks for me." Come on, "what God 00:38 asks for me, it is for me." 00:43 I Corinthians 13, the Word of God says, 00:46 and I read, "Though I speak with theongues of men 00:51 and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding 00:57 brass, or a tinkling cymbal. 00:59 And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all 01:03 mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, 01:06 so that I could remove mountains, 01:08 and have not charity, I am nothing. 01:11 And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, 01:14 and though I give my body to be burned, and have not 01:16 charity, it profiteth me nothing. 01:20 Charity suffereth long, and is kind; 01:22 charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, 01:28 is not puffed up, Love doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh 01:33 not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; 01:36 Love rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; 01:43 Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, 01:47 endureth all things. 01:48 Charity, love never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, 01:52 they shall fail; whether there be tongues, 01:54 they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, 01:56 it shall vanish away. 01:57 For we know in part, and we prophesy in part. 02:01 But when that which is perfect is come, then that which 02:04 is in part shall be done away. 02:05 When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood 02:12 as a child, I thought as a child: 02:14 but when I became a man, I put away childish things. 02:22 For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: 02:25 now I know in part; but then shall I know even 02:27 as also I am known. 02:31 And now abideth faith, hope, and love, these three; 02:38 but the greatest of these is love. 02:46 Goodbye, relationship drama. 02:52 God, for the next couple of moments, breathe continually 02:54 in this sanctuary. 02:56 We've sung and we've prayed and we've heard a testimony, 02:59 but now we need to hear a word from you. 03:02 Disappoint us not, God, speak to thy people, speak to this 03:06 community, speak to the students, speak to those who 03:09 are watching, speak, Lord, for your servants here. 03:12 And we'll be careful to give you the praise, the honor 03:16 and the glory. 03:20 In Jesus' name. 03:22 Amen. 03:24 One of the most interesting things to observe today 03:27 are the relationships that many people find themselves in. 03:31 Because many people have never had a blueprint or ever seen 03:36 a positive relationship. 03:40 Many people just mirror what they have been exposed to. 03:44 So then if they've only seen drama-filled relationships, 03:50 then that's what they find themselves in. 03:53 Drama-filled relationships. 03:54 As I get older I observe that many women have never been 04:00 taught what a godly wife is all about. 04:03 Many men have never been taught what being a godly husband 04:07 is all about. 04:08 And for some of you, when you look through your family trees, 04:12 it's hard to find a positive marital relationship where you 04:17 can all say, "I want to be just like that." In fact, in our 04:22 world, unlike the church, the media celebrates things 04:26 like having a child first, we'll get married later. 04:33 Living together first, we'll get married later. 04:40 But years ago, I don't care what church you went to, 04:45 I don't care what denomination or ministry you were 04:48 part of, if you lived together as a man and a woman, 04:55 emphasis on man and woman, and you didn't have the same 05:00 last name, it was wrong. 05:04 Shacking was wrong. 05:08 Cohabitation was wrong. 05:12 But today it's become popular to change mates as often as one 05:17 changes magazine subscriptions. 05:21 Drama fills relationships today. 05:25 And if you engage in drama in your relationship 05:28 long enough, you'll start believing it's normal. 05:32 It's normal for me to be treated like a dog. 05:35 It's normal for me to be played. 05:39 It's normal for me to deal with physical and verbal abuse. 05:43 And so what you is abnormal you've made normal. 05:47 Now, the Bible has a lot to say about relationships, what to do 05:50 and what not to do, and in a positive relationship, 05:52 a drama-free relationship, love is supposed to 05:56 be evident. 05:57 We read from the Word of God where Paul says love suffereth 06:00 long and is kind. 06:01 Love envieth not. 06:02 Love vaunteth not itself, love is not puffed up, love does not 06:06 behave itself unseemly, it seeketh not her own, 06:09 it is not easily provoked, it thinketh no evil. 06:13 That's what love is in a relationship. 06:18 And if you don't want a drama-filled relationship, 06:23 there are four things tonight that I want to share with you 06:25 that you will need in your relationship. 06:27 Now, for the single folks, this is prevention. 06:35 For the married folks, this is prescription. 06:40 So everybody can get something from Dr. Jesus tonight. 06:44 Do I have a witness in this place? 06:47 Number one, reciprocity. 06:50 Everybody say reciprocity. 06:51 Aud: Reciprocity. 06:52 PB: Any positive relationship has to be one of reciprocity. 06:57 Reciprocity means changing things with others for mutual 07:02 respect and benefit. 07:04 Reciprocity means give and take. 07:07 It means, you bring the ice cream, 07:10 I'll bring the cake. 07:12 But I'm not going to bring the ice cream and the cake. 07:16 I bring the peanut butter and you bring the jelly. 07:20 But I'm not bringing both the peanut butter and the jelly. 07:26 Reciprocity means you have to love her 07:30 and she has to love you. 07:33 Reciprocity means you have to love him and he 07:36 has to love you. 07:38 And the first time you know something is wrong in your 07:41 relationship is when the person that you're so madly in love 07:44 with you can't even get them to say the words. 07:51 I love you. 07:56 Well, I care about you. 08:03 [laughter/applause] I love you. 08:04 Well, I'm in like with you. 08:12 There's something wrong when you're the one 08:15 always calling. 08:17 They got your home number, your work number, 08:21 your cell number, but you're always the one calling. 08:24 There's something wrong with that. 08:26 You're the one that's giving and they never give you 08:29 anything. 08:30 You're the one that's always supporting and they are never 08:33 there to support you. 08:34 You're always running behind them and they never 08:36 run behind you. 08:38 You ought to make up in your mind that 08:40 I'm coming out of this one-sided relationship where I've always 08:44 got to give something and I'm never getting anything 08:47 in return. 08:48 If I call you, you can call me. 08:51 If I e-mail you, you can e-mail me. 08:55 If I tweet you or Facebook you, you can tweet and Facebook me. 09:00 [applause] If I can rub your feet, can I 09:04 get a witness in this place? 09:06 That's if you're married, come on, say Amen. 09:09 Then you can rub my feet. 09:12 If I can buy gifts for you, then you can buy gifts for me. 09:18 If I can do nice things for you, you can do 09:20 nice things for me. 09:21 You've got to make up in your mind that I'm going to stop 09:23 falling in love with people who don't even like me. 09:26 [aud response] Because there's some folk 09:29 up in here tonight, some folk watching, who are in 09:33 love with folk that can barely stand you. 09:36 Do I have a witness in this place? 09:39 But not only that, let me bowl some more. 09:41 By the time we get finished, you're going to be like ouch, 09:43 ouch, ouch. 09:46 [laughter] There needs to be some 09:48 reciprocity when it comes to your faith system. 09:52 Your belief system. 09:54 You want no drama in your relationship? 09:57 There needs to be some reciprocity in your value 10:00 system, your moral system, your love and understanding 10:03 for God and the things of God. 10:05 I'm tired of seeing folk, young people, 10:08 with all this godly promise on their lives, 10:10 and as soon as you meet somebody, 10:12 they're not in church, they don't want to hear anything 10:15 about God, and you let them bring you down to their level. 10:17 Now, you're too tired for church. 10:20 You're too tired for Wednesday night. 10:22 You're too tired for Sabbath school. 10:24 You're too tired for choir rehearsal. 10:28 You don't want to give any money to God because 10:31 you're traveling the world, hanging out with them, 10:33 eating out with them, buying any and everything, 10:35 paying their rent. 10:36 [aud response] Paying their car note. 10:41 I can't get a witness up in this place. 10:44 But God says, why don't you bring them up to your level, 10:47 why don't you say to them, if you're going to be 10:50 with me then you're going to have to come to church. 10:53 Because as for me and my house, yeah, we gonna serve the Lord. 11:01 [organ] I believe in salvation through 11:03 Jesus Christ, I believe in the second coming, I believe 11:08 that when Jesus comes back, the dead in Christ are going 11:12 to rise first. 11:13 Then we which are alive and remain are going to 11:15 be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord 11:17 in the air. 11:18 I believe in the Sabbath. 11:20 I believe in the Ten Commandments. 11:23 I believe in commitment, I believe in integrity, 11:26 I believe I honesty, I believe in good credit. 11:29 [cheers/applause] You see, the problem with many 11:37 of us, listen to me good, you think God has given you 11:41 to them to change them. 11:46 But let me tell you something. 11:47 You can't change anybody. 11:49 Only Jesus can do that. 11:51 And you need to understand, you ought to know by now, 11:54 if they're not doing what God says to, you should know 11:58 they're not going to do what you say to. 12:01 Do I have a witness in this place? 12:03 So do me a favor, turn to your neighbor and say, neighbor, 12:05 stop playing yourself. 12:07 Aud: (unintelligible) PB: Brothers, 12:13 when the relationship is of God, sisters, when the relationship 12:19 is of God, then your goals, your dreams, your desires 12:24 that God has placed in you will also be the same goals, 12:28 the same dreams and the same desires that God will place 12:32 in that spouse. 12:35 There is no way that you can want good credit 12:37 and they don't. 12:40 There is no way that you can want salvation and they don't. 12:44 There is no way that you can want the best out of life 12:47 and they don't, because you're flesh of my flesh, 12:50 bone of my bone. 12:51 When God has put that thing together, what hurts you 12:54 hurts them. 12:56 What makes you happy makes them happy. 12:59 There is reciprocity. 13:01 Goodbye, relationship drama. 13:03 Now, I'm going a little deeper. 13:05 So you might as well get bad with me. 13:07 Now, I'll clap my hands with DP and all that, 13:09 but going to still preach out of the Word. 13:11 Are you hearing what I'm saying? 13:13 Still a little old school in my preaching. 13:15 Now, let me tell you something. 13:16 I'm convinced, and you don't get this everywhere, 13:21 that Christians ought to be with Christians. 13:25 [applause] You all don't like that, 13:28 but that's all right. 13:29 [applause] Christians ought to marry 13:34 Christians. 13:35 Man: Tell it, Pastor. 13:39 PB: Adventists [cheer/applause] 13:41 PB: ought to date Adventists. 13:45 [applause] PB: Adventists, listen to me 13:49 good, ought to marry Adventists. 13:53 And notice I said Christians first, and not Adventists first, 13:58 because there are some Seventh-day Adventists 14:00 who are not Christians. 14:01 [cheer/applause/organ] PB: Now, if dogs can get 14:11 with dogs, cats can get with cats, and fish can get 14:18 with fish, and birds can get with birds, then Christians 14:22 ought to get with Christians. 14:25 Amos 3:3 says, "How can two walk together 14:30 unless they agree?" 14:32 [cheer/applause] Who you marry will very well 14:36 impact where you spend eternity. 14:39 I'm trying to help somebody. 14:42 Somebody needs to say, I don't have time to be 14:44 trying to change anybody. 14:45 You better get changed and change 14:47 before you get with me. 14:50 I don't have time for social work. 14:52 Are you hearing what I'm saying? 14:54 [cheer/applause] Repeat after me. 14:56 Say, everybody who loves me Aud: Everybody who loves me 14:59 PB: has to love me Aud: has to love me 15:02 PB: like He loves me. 15:04 Aud: like He loves me. 15:06 PB: All right. 15:07 Let's get some more. 15:09 You all want some more? 15:10 [aud response] PB: All right. 15:12 Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, 15:15 endureth all things. 15:17 Number two. Responsibility. 15:20 Everybody say responsibility. 15:22 Aud: Responsibility. 15:23 PB: Trying to get you out of relationship drama. 15:25 Now, when we talk about the marital relationship, 15:27 this is for those who are married and those 15:29 one day who will be there. 15:30 We can look at the first marriage 15:32 in the Garden of Eden between Adam and Eve. 15:36 Adam and Eve. 15:38 Not Adam and Steve. 15:39 Adam and Eve. 15:41 [applause] In Genesis 2 15:46 [aud response/organ] when God, listen to me, 15:48 listen to me, when God deals with Adam, 15:53 there are some things that God does to Adam before God 15:57 allows Adam to have a wife. 16:01 God makes sure that Adam deal with responsibility 16:07 by making sure Adam has a job. 16:10 [applause] Oh, you all don't like that. 16:12 That's all right. 16:13 [applause] God gives Adam, 16:18 before he gets married, dominion over the garden. 16:24 Before Adam gets a wife, God makes sure that Adam 16:30 is responsible and that Adam has a job. 16:35 I don't think you heard me. 16:36 [laughter] Before Adam gets a wife, 16:41 God makes sure that Adam is responsible and Adam 16:45 has a J-O-B. 16:48 Ladies, you ought not set your standard lower than God. 16:54 If God is requiring responsibility and employment, 16:59 you ought to do it as well. 17:02 Don't listen to all that, well, I'm fittin' to. 17:05 You ain't fittin' to do nothing. 17:09 [laughter] I'm thinking about it. 17:12 I'm working on something. 17:13 No, you need to work, not working on. 17:16 I'm tracing and chasing my dream. 17:21 I don't mind you chasing your dream, but while you're 17:24 chasing your dream you need to be working a nine-to-five 17:27 to support yourself while you're chasing a dream. 17:31 [applause] Now, you all know, my wife 17:36 and I, we're about to have another baby. 17:38 Come on, say Amen. 17:39 [cheer/applause] And I believe with all this 17:44 money the church helps some of you all get in school with, 17:47 I ought to get some free babysitting. 17:49 Come on, say Amen. 17:50 [cheer] Now [laughter] Oh, you don't like that. 17:57 Then don't come to that office talking about Pastor Byrd, help 18:01 me get in school, then, are you hearing what I'm saying? 18:03 You understand what I'm saying. 18:05 All right. 18:06 [organ/laughter] Reciprocity. 18:08 I ain't bringing the ice cream and the cake. 18:11 I need a witness in this place. 18:12 [organ/applause] I'm talking about, you got to 18:15 work before you get married. 18:17 When Christyn and Caileigh, my two daughters, our two 18:19 daughters, 12 and 10, are of sufficient age to date, 18:23 listen to me good, of sufficient age to date, 18:27 because they are not of that age right now. 18:29 I wish I had a witness in this place. 18:31 So all them little boys, they are not of sufficient age 18:34 to date. 18:35 That's right; 12, 13, 14, 15, 16 and 17 years old, 18:43 that is too early to date. 18:49 [applause] Amen. 18:50 Preach, Pastor Byrd. 18:51 I'm doing the best I can. 18:54 [organ] You want to go out on a date? 18:57 Go out on a group date. 19:00 [aud response] That's what some of you all need to do. 19:02 [aud response] Group date, óó by date together. 19:06 Come on, say Amen. 19:07 Everybody go to the cafe together. 19:09 Come on, say Amen. 19:11 [applause] Everybody be friends. 19:14 But when they are of sufficient age to date, and then marry, 19:21 yes, I want them to love the brother, and I want him 19:28 to love them, but I also want the brother to be able 19:31 to take care of my girls. 19:33 That's love. 19:36 Responsibility. 19:38 Love beareth all things. 19:41 Love bears responsibility. 19:44 Before Adam got married, God gave Adam a J-O-B. 19:53 Ladies, this next week you walk on this campus and let your 19:56 motto be, if you want to be with me, then you need a J-O-B. 20:03 Amen. 20:04 [applause] Now, I'm not talking about somebody, 20:07 someone told me. 20:08 But those that know me for a long time, 20:11 you will know my father made me and my brother work. 20:13 He said, "I'm not gonna have no lazy boys." That's why some 20:17 of you know me, I have the strong work ethic 20:19 that I do. 20:20 When I graduated from eighth grade in church school 20:22 at Greater Miami Academy in Miami, Florida, 20:25 my daddy said after one week staying at the house, 20:27 "You and Buster, Buddy and Buster, y'all not staying 20:31 around this house watching TV all summer." He said, 20:34 "I'm gonna drop you off at the nearest shopping plaza," 20:38 and he said, "Don't you come home" - 14 years old, 20:42 now, he said, "Don't come home until you got a job." 20:47 [applause] He dropped us off, and back in those days 20:52 there were no cell phones. 20:55 [laughter] We couldn't call anybody. 20:59 We went from place to place in that shopping plaza until we 21:03 found a job, because my daddy said, "Don't come home 21:07 without one." So you know what we did? 21:12 We worked for Publix. 21:15 We bagged groceries. 21:16 I made $3.35 an hour. 21:22 The child labor law said you can't work more than 16 hours 21:27 a week. 21:28 We got up at 5:30 every morning in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida. 21:33 We got on the bus to go to Miami, 35 miles away, 21:37 at 6:30 every morning. 21:40 We caught the bus, rode it an hour, got to Greater Miami 21:43 Academy at 7:45, went to school from 8 to 3:30, got back on 21:50 that bus, 3:30, 4:30 we were at home. 21:54 From 5 to 7:30 Monday through Thursday evening, because we 21:58 couldn't work past 7:30 because we were under 16, 22:01 we worked. 22:03 Sunday, we worked. 22:07 And he instilled that within us. 22:10 I don't understand young men, brothers, how you call yourself 22:13 a man and you don't want to work. 22:17 [aud response] Now, listen, it's not just for the brothers, 22:21 it's for the ladies too. 22:22 [applause/organ] 22:30 This is an equal-opportunity sermon. 22:34 Ladies, you got to be responsible. 22:38 Come on, now. 22:41 [aud response] Now, brothers, you all gotta say Amen. 22:43 They were all shouting when I was talking to y'all. 22:45 Y'all got to say Amen. 22:46 [cheer/applause] Now, this is 2013. 22:51 They don't have to pay for every date, you can pay 22:53 for one too. 22:54 Come on, say Amen. 22:59 [cheer/applause] Be responsible. 23:03 Brothers, handle your business. 23:12 If you're still a mama's boy or a daddy's girl, 23:19 then you don't need to be getting married. 23:21 Come on, say Amen. 23:23 [aud response] Love beareth all things, believeth all things, 23:31 endureth all things. 23:33 You want some more? 23:35 Well, I'm going to give it to you whether you 23:37 want it or not. 23:38 Number three, respect. 23:42 Everybody say respect. 23:43 Aud: Respect PB: Young people, 23:45 you've got to have respect for yourself. 23:47 Older people, you've got to have respect for yourself. 23:49 And for others. 23:50 Let me talk about respect. 23:52 Gotta hurry this on up, now, got to get you back home. 23:56 Brothers, stop trying to holler at every woman who walks by. 24:06 Now, ..... 24:09 [laughter] (unintelligible) talking about pss psst 24:12 [whispers] how about that age-old one. 24:16 Hey, Red. 24:17 Ha, ha. 24:22 Now, I'm not saying don't be a man. 24:25 Because we need you to be a man. 24:29 And you're going to be a man. 24:32 We've got enough question marks and confusion. 24:34 Be a man. 24:37 But stop trying to holler at every woman who comes 24:41 your way. 24:42 Because what will happen is--listen to me good--you will 24:45 develop an understanding of women where you 24:47 will look for a wife or a girlfriend like you 24:49 look for a car. 24:50 Can I break that down? 24:54 You know, when you shop for a car, the first thing 24:57 you do, you go to as many car lots as possible. 25:03 Number two. 25:04 You like that, don't you? 25:06 Number two, you always want to know how that body looks. 25:13 [aud response] Number three, you really want to test drive 25:19 before purchasing. 25:22 [cheer] Number four, you're very curious about 25:25 how much mileage it has and how many previous owners 25:28 it has had. 25:29 [laughter/applause] And number five, you want 25:38 the most out of it with the least cost possible. 25:45 [aud response] Ladies, do me a favor, in the choir, 25:47 do it now. 25:48 Turn to that brother and say, "You can't drive this." 25:56 [laughter/applause] Tell them, "I'm not for sale." 25:59 CJ: The Breath of Life gift offer this week is 26:01 "Help in Daily Living," a practical guide to everyday 26:03 blessings by renowned Christian author, Ellen G. White. 26:06 The book contains four powerful chapters on having true 26:09 and lasting relationships, developing godly character, 26:12 walking a practical daily faith that brings blessings, 26:16 and staying the course of being a light in the darkness 26:19 until the Lord returns. 26:20 You'll discover the benefits of trials, the importance 26:22 of little things, the influence of living a consistent 26:25 Christian life and the joy of the Lord. 26:28 "Help in Daily Living" is yours for a gift of $5 or more. 26:31 Just call our toll-free number, 877-BOL-OFFER. 26:33 That's 877-265-6333. 26:39 Please have your credit card ready when you call. 26:41 Or you may write to us to request your copy. 26:43 Just send your check to Breath of Life, P.O. Box 340, 26:47 Newbury Park, California 91319. 26:50 Break out of the ordinary life and into the extraordinary life 26:53 God intended for you to live. 26:55 Get your copy of "Help in Daily Living" today. 26:59 PB: Thank you very much for tuning in and watching 27:01 Breath of Life today. 27:03 We do hope that you were blessed by our ministry 27:05 and that we gave a healing word in a hurting world. 27:10 In order for Breath of Life to continue ministering, 27:12 we need you. 27:14 We need your prayers, we need your support. 27:16 We want you to know that any and all donations, small 27:19 or great, they are sincerely welcomed and appreciated. 27:24 To contact us or to make your donation, please feel free 27:27 to give us a call at 877-BOL-OFFER, 27:31 that's 877-BOL-OFFER. 27:38 Or you may write to us at Breath of Life, P.O. Box 340, 27:44 Newbury Park, California 91319. 27:48 P.O. Box 340, Newbury Park, California 91319. 27:53 Or log onto our website at www.breathoflife.tv. 28:00 PB: Before Adam got married, God gave Adam a J-O-B. 28:07 Ladies, this next week you walk on this campus 28:10 and let your motto be, if you want to be with me, 28:15 then you need a J-O-B. 28:20 If you're still a mama's boy or a daddy's girl, 28:27 then you don't need to be getting married. 28:29 Come on, say Amen. |
Revised 2015-02-06