Participants: Carlton P. Byrd
Series Code: BOL
Program Code: BOL000029
|
00:06 ♪ (Theme Song) Jesus is worthy ♪ ♪ oh yes, he's worthy ♪
00:17 ♪ worthy of all... ♪ ♪ (Music) ♪ 00:21 PB: We come today to commandment 00:22 number five. 00:23 I want to ask the question today to everyone, in light 00:26 of all the craziness that is going on in our world 00:31 do our families have a future? 00:32 When you look at the changes in the family from former 00:36 times, we've seen how the family has changed from the 00:40 extended family to now the nuclear or the solely 00:43 immediate family. 00:46 There used to be a time-- some of you have been around 00:49 a little while, you know what I'm talking about-- there used 00:52 to be a time when the family was not merely comprised 00:55 of people who lived in the context of the geography of 00:58 a particular address, but where an entire neighborhood was 01:02 an extended family. 01:05 But we've moved from the extended family to the 01:08 immediate or nuclear family and then we had 01:11 another movement. 01:12 We moved from the hierarchical structure or order of the 01:15 family to the individual. 01:16 And that is where the removing of the hierarchical structure 01:21 of our parenting to a kind of individualistic view of the 01:24 family, where grandparents, great-grandparents, aunts, 01:28 uncles, they all developed a hierarchy of the family, until 01:33 it moved to a certain kind of individuality where the only 01:37 people in control were those who paid the mortgage at a 01:40 particular residence. 01:43 But why has this happened? 01:46 Well, one reason this has happened, for one, 01:48 urbanization. 01:50 Everybody say urbanization. 01:52 Urbanization has taken over. 01:53 That is, we've moved from the family farm. 01:57 We grew up in a particular place. 02:02 Whether you're a country boy, a country girl or somebody who 02:06 now lives in the urban concrete jungle, it was that 02:10 somebody originally moved from the family farm. 02:14 We moved from the farm to the factory. 02:19 And because of these changes from agricultural development 02:22 to industrialization, the family began to separate 02:25 somewhat because parents began to move, make more money, 02:28 make a better living. 02:30 But at the same time the fiber of the family, the fabric of 02:34 the family began to unravel and the family seemed to be 02:37 deteriorating, unknown to us, even though life appeared 02:41 to be getting better. 02:42 So the development and the progress made up for the 02:45 absenteeism of the mother and father. 02:47 We've moved from the family to the media. 02:50 We couldn't buy or pay people to live in our homes as 02:55 nannies or baby sitters because we were gone working 02:58 two or three jobs, so the media, the television, the 03:02 radio, the Internet, became the guardians of our children. 03:07 So, many of our children are the products of a video 03:11 generation in which they grew up, now saying, 03:14 I see so I become. 03:17 Many of our children and many of our families have our 03:22 values and heritage and our history safe and woven by 03:26 what we see in the media. 03:28 Consequently, we've moved from our little house on the 03:32 prairie and most of us are now living nightmares 03:35 on Elm Street. 03:36 There's been a deterioration of relationships because 03:39 of all of these moves. 03:40 But then, out of that deterioration something 03:43 else happened. 03:44 There was this emotional disorder. 03:46 Because of the lack of relationship and communication 03:49 in our families, the emotional stability became disordered. 03:53 In case you didn't know, emotionally we're in trouble. 03:58 So what happens because of this emotional challenge, 04:01 there's disorder. 04:03 There's a reason, there's a consequence, it calls 04:06 to all of this. 04:07 So because of all these changes in our world, we also 04:09 began to understand and experience the confusion 04:12 concerning values. 04:15 Let's be honest, when my girls grow up the biggest thing I 04:19 want them to--the Lord delay his coming. 04:21 When they decide to get married, the biggest thing I 04:23 want them to do is marry somebody who's 04:25 got good values. 04:27 Yes, I want them to love the Lord. 04:29 Their future husband, and he's got to be able to take 04:31 care of my babies. 04:32 Do I have a witness in this place? 04:34 But he also has to have good values. 04:38 His value system. 04:41 Where do our children get the majority of their values from? 04:45 The media. 04:48 It's amazing today the powerful influence that the 04:52 media has, that even we as grown folks, we now do 04:56 craziness in relationships. 04:59 In fact, some people have the soap-opera mentality where 05:03 they just hop anywhere with anybody at any time. 05:06 I wish I had a witness in this place. 05:08 So if one person doesn't work, they just trade them in for 05:11 something better. 05:13 But then something else happens. 05:15 The marital and family fragmentation took place. 05:19 Because of the stress and strain upon the family, these 05:22 things begin to pulverize the family. 05:25 You don't have to be a sociologist to understand 05:27 and know this. 05:28 All you have to do is be one who looks, one who observes, 05:31 one who listens, one who reads, and you can hear 05:34 children give this same outline on any given day. 05:37 Because of the causes, because of the changes, because of the 05:40 consequences I come by to ask you this morning, does the 05:44 family have a future? 05:48 The family as we once understood it is not the same. 05:51 Things have changed considerably. 05:55 Because of our political posturing and our 05:58 maneuverings, or ability to change the men who ratify law 06:01 through the ballots, we're seeing the family structure 06:04 change all over the place. 06:06 What do I mean? 06:07 Proposition 8. 06:09 Same sex marriages. 06:12 Same sex marriages in the parenting of a child. 06:16 All of these things, whether you agree or disagree with it, 06:19 the complexion of how the family is done. 06:23 The family today has changed. 06:25 This is not the same family orientation and structure that 06:31 I grew up under in the seventies and the eighties. 06:34 This is a new world in which we live today. 06:38 But then on the other hand, somebody says the turbulence 06:42 of tomorrow will drive people deeper. 06:46 In other words, there's so much turbulence today as 06:49 it relates to the family that driving people who are serious 06:51 about living and people who are conscientious about life, 06:55 and those who have a remnant of a value and virtue left 06:58 behind, they're holding out for something that is deeper. 07:03 They're saying, life has no more substance than these 07:05 shadowy images of what we see. 07:07 That might be the reason why some of us today came 07:10 to this building. 07:11 That may be the reason why some of us 07:13 came to Berean today. 07:15 We came to church and we've come to drop our buckets into 07:17 the spiritual well of God and drink from that which is 07:21 deeper than what the world view has for us. 07:24 And maybe, just maybe, that is our question we 07:28 come asking, too. 07:30 Pastor Byrd, is there a word from God to give us hope that 07:36 the family will survive? 07:40 And so the command from the Lord is, honor your father and 07:43 your mother that your days may be long upon the land which 07:47 the Lord thy God giveth thee. 07:48 But this becomes a critical command that has been 07:51 given to each and everyone of us by God. 07:54 I heard a preacher once say, out of all the commandments 07:58 that have been uttered and issued, this commandment is 08:01 probably the most difficult, to honor mother and father. 08:06 Brother Preacher, Brother Pastor, why would it be so 08:09 difficult to honor mother and father? 08:12 It's pretty self explanatory. 08:14 But many of us make it difficult for our 08:18 children to honor us. 08:19 They see us say one thing and do another. 08:25 You see, our children know the real us. 08:31 We can come in here, face front and do all that, but our 08:35 children know the real us. 08:37 And so what we do, we tell them, remember family 08:41 business is family business. 08:43 We tell them, don't you go out of here and tell anybody what 08:45 you've seen or heard, this is family business. 08:48 To combat that we say, do as I say but not as I do. 08:53 But what makes it difficult for many is their children 08:57 raise this question. 08:59 Pastor Byrd, how can I honor a father or a mother who does 09:03 not deserve my respect? 09:05 My father is a drunkard, my mother is a gossip, my father 09:10 abandoned us, my mother talks bad about people, they 09:15 both fuss and fight. 09:16 My daddy molested me. 09:18 My momma beat me. 09:20 My daddy cursed me and defiled me, my mother gives 09:24 no support to me. 09:25 In fact, over and over my self-esteem is stripped away 09:29 because of the way they treated me. 09:32 How then can I give honor, respect, care, courtesy and 09:34 thoughtfulness to people who don't deserve my respect? 09:39 Now, I'm not just up here talking to be talking. 09:41 These questions are real. 09:44 The mission worker, a missionary once said, I can do 09:49 a bunch of things but there's one thing I cannot do, I 09:52 cannot pray the Lord's prayer. 09:55 And if I do, I can never begin with "Our Father," because it 10:00 sent this girl into a violent rage and she began to have 10:04 serious reactions merely at the mentioning of a father. 10:09 There are people in this church, there are people 10:13 watching this broadcast and I don't know who you are who 10:16 have that kind of emotional trauma as it relates to 10:20 parenting and yet there is no escape clause in the 10:24 commandment contract. 10:26 But God says it emphatically. 10:29 God doesn't stutter. 10:31 He doesn't stammer. 10:32 He doesn't fake. 10:33 God says honor your father and your mother. 10:37 Yet, in the world in which we live sometimes it seems as 10:40 though the command is for the parents to honor their 10:43 children so their days may be peaceful upon the land. 10:48 And while humanity does not have the right to change a 10:54 divine commandment, if we're honest with ourselves maybe 10:57 many parents are honoring their children more so than 11:00 children honoring their parents. 11:04 Let me throw this in right now. 11:07 If you have a son, a son. 11:10 I wish my daddy right here, we could preach and tag team on 11:12 this sermon today. 11:14 If you have a son that's in the seventh, eighth or ninth 11:17 grade or above, when school ends this year you tell them 11:22 clearly I said it, that they are not going to come home, 11:26 watch video games, watch TV and play all day. 11:30 We've got to teach our young boys how to work. 11:33 I wish I had a witness in this place. 11:36 But maybe you don't believe too many parents are honoring 11:39 their children too much. 11:40 If you don't believe it, answer these questions. 11:42 Who sets the standard on how we dress? 11:45 Young people do. 11:49 Who determines what the most popular music is? 11:52 Young people do. 11:54 Who changed the automobile industry of how they 11:58 constitute a car in Tokyo, Japan and Detroit, Michigan? 12:00 Young people do. 12:03 Who makes the sexual values in this country? 12:08 Young people do. 12:10 Think about it. 12:11 They've got the mass. 12:13 They've got computers now. 12:14 They've got videos. 12:15 They've got Wii. 12:16 You see, we are what I call digital immigrants. 12:21 They are digital natives. 12:27 I can take my iPhone, give it to Christyn or Caileigh, and 12:31 they can do things I never dreamed or thought of doing, 12:34 and they're driving at six, eight and ten years old on the 12:39 information superhighway and they're getting from one place 12:43 to another in a matter of seconds. 12:45 And here some of us are fumbling, trying to figure out 12:48 this gadget called a computer and an Internet. 12:51 Been to college, been to graduate school, an expensive 12:54 education, but you're fumbling around where these 12:58 children show you. 12:59 Kids who haven't even started grade school, they can show us 13:02 how to travel on the information highway, 13:05 superhighway, and it becomes a struggle for these adapting 13:09 teens and children to give reverence, honor and respect 13:13 where they can't find it. 13:16 And what's so amazing about this is there was a time when 13:20 all of us were like them and we looked at our mothers and 13:23 fathers and we looked at our parents and they 13:26 were our heroes. 13:27 They were our hero. 13:29 We looked at them and they were flawless, 13:30 impeccable creatures. 13:31 They were perfect. 13:33 And then the day came like Adam and Eve when their eyes 13:36 were open and they found out that we were not all of that. 13:38 I said to myself one day, even if my kids right now think 13:42 that I walk on water, the day is going to come when they 13:46 will recognize that my feet are made of clay. 13:50 I can hear some child right now saying, you mean to tell 13:53 me, Pastor Byrd, my daddy's not perfect? 13:55 But let's be clear, this commandment is not a 14:01 commandment on honoring perfect parents. 14:05 It's a commandment that says, honor your father and your 14:10 mother that your days may be long upon the land which the 14:12 Lord thy God giveth thee. 14:15 Where is our supreme example of all of this? 14:18 We can look at the life of Jesus, can we not? 14:20 Jesus grew up in a family where his father 14:22 was a carpenter. 14:23 He imitated his father's craftsmanship and then after 14:25 Joseph died Jesus took upon the responsibility of caring 14:28 and nurture for his mother. 14:29 And even when he was on the cross dying, the Bible teaches 14:32 that before he breathed his last breath Jesus looked at 14:36 the company that had come to watch him die and spots the 14:39 big watery eyes of John, the beloved, and says, John, 14:42 behold your mother. 14:44 Mother, behold your son. 14:46 And he transferred family values and said, John, if you 14:50 want to honor me, love my momma and take care of her. 14:56 Jesus got into a big argument with the Pharisees one day 14:59 about growing old and taking care of your parents. 15:02 The Pharisees had a term called Corban. 15:06 Corban was an offering, it was a kind of offering that was 15:10 designated specifically for the Lord and for his temple. 15:12 But Jesus said, you try to twist the law with a 15:14 technicality, because these Pharisees had parents who were 15:18 aging and the Pharisees did not want to care for their 15:21 aging parents, and the Pharisees said to their 15:24 parents, we would, but we can't take care of you 15:26 financially because our money is in the Corbin. 15:30 But they were lying. 15:32 Because all of their resources were not designated for God 15:36 and his temple. 15:37 But that was their way of saying, I can't give you 15:39 anything because I've got to give it to God. 15:42 Jesus said, you're trying to twist the law on a 15:45 technicality. 15:46 You know that's not true. 15:47 And so, in here today, none of us escape commandment 15:51 number five. 15:52 That's what makes it difficult, because from our 15:54 infancy, our parents take care of us. 15:59 But when our parents get in their golden years, in return 16:04 we must take care of them. 16:06 Do I have a witness in this place? 16:08 And interestingly enough, all of us who debate this and 16:12 we're out of the house and we talk about the failures of our 16:16 fathers, we talk about the failures of our mothers and 16:19 what they are and what they aren't. 16:21 The first thing I have to say, particularly as I get older, 16:23 keep on living. 16:25 You might be a daddy or a momma yourself one day and 16:31 when that happens, then we can sit down and talk about it. 16:34 But if you worked out all the problems of your parents and 16:38 you can sit down and write down a list of why you ought 16:41 not honor and respect, shame on you. 16:43 Why you ought not be thorough and thoughtful, generous and 16:45 gracious to them, if you've done all that, what are you 16:49 blaming them for now? 16:50 If you have the call, you ought to have the cure. 16:53 See, I've learned in life and I'm getting older, but you see 16:56 it's always easy to cast blame. 16:59 I see it time and time again over the years. 17:01 After so many children. 17:03 Yes, your children get grown and you find out that you, 17:06 excuse the English, ain't no expert in parenting either. 17:12 All of a sudden, as I get older, I tell my wife all the 17:16 time, I understand my father better now. 17:18 How do you honor your father? 17:20 How do you honor your mother? 17:21 One way we can honor our father and mother is simply to 17:25 agree to cooperate with their instructions. 17:28 What this commandment of respect does, it not only 17:33 keeps you when everybody else is looking at you, but it will 17:36 also sustain you when nobody's looking. 17:39 Because you know what I tell folk, when the lights are off 17:44 and the blinds have been closed, when the door is shut, 17:50 the phone is not ringing, the e-mails aren't coming, the 17:53 only person you've got to be able to get along with is you. 17:56 And how you handle yourself in private is who you 18:03 are in public. 18:05 Show me a man in private and I'll show you what 18:08 he is in public. 18:10 That's character. 18:11 Because you can fake it in public but the real you will 18:14 show up in private. 18:17 Honor your father, honor your mother by respecting 18:21 their name. 18:22 Young people and everybody up in here, you better 18:26 remember that. 18:28 You've got a name you've got to live up to. 18:30 And then one last thing I'm going to say about honoring 18:33 your mother and your father, be generous. 18:35 And what I mean by that is that there are little things 18:39 that you can do just to be generous to honor their name. 18:42 A young man who knows that curfew is coming up, tempted 18:47 to stay longer to finish that one last game, but he says, 18:50 no, I've got to go home. 18:53 I've got to get back now. 18:55 He's just honoring his parents' name. 18:59 A young girl is away in college and her friends come 19:03 by to take her out. 19:04 She really wants to go but she's trying to finish up some 19:09 studying for a test that's two weeks off. 19:12 But every minute counts and she says, I'm honoring 19:15 my momma and daddy's name. 19:17 I can't go out tonight. 19:18 And they press her and say, but you've got two more weeks, 19:22 but she remembers the sacrifices that her parents 19:25 made just to pay the tuition and she stays there because 19:30 she's honoring their name. 19:31 A business man traveling, crisscrossing across the 19:34 country, stops in a layover and he knows that he just has 19:37 about two hours away from where he grew up. 19:41 So he says, you know what, I'm going to rent a car, I'm going 19:44 to go see my feeble father because I need 19:47 to honor his name. 19:48 A girl finishes surgery, she remembers that this is the 19:52 same day that her mother or father died, she just knows 19:57 it's going to a difficult day, so she picks up the phone, 20:01 she remembers that it's her momma's birthday, she calls 20:03 her daddy and says, daddy, I was thinking about you today. 20:07 She's honoring the name. 20:11 Some child has to put their mother or father in a 20:15 convalescent home because they don't have the resources 20:19 or the expertise to care for them. 20:21 It breaks their heart to have to relinquish them that way, 20:23 but they come by just to stop in to look and smile, even 20:27 when the parents don't even know that they are there, to 20:30 honor their father and their mother. 20:34 Let me tell you, in harmony with Mother's Day God had it 20:38 that it would be that we would preach commandment five today. 20:42 You can be generous to your parents without 20:45 giving them a dime. 20:46 Somebody in here, you haven't even called your momma, 20:53 your daddy. 20:54 When you leave here today and you get in your car, get the 21:00 cell phone out and say, momma, I thought I'd call you today. 21:04 Daddy, I thought I'd call you today. 21:09 Give them something lasting to hold on, because there's 21:12 somebody in Berean today who wishes they had their momma 21:15 to call, wishes they had their daddy to call. 21:18 Take a pen and a piece of paper out. 21:21 Doesn't have to be the letter 10 pages long, not even 21:24 a page, just say a line, Daddy, thank you 21:27 for all you've done for me. 21:31 Momma, thank you for what you have meant to me. 21:36 Thank you. 21:38 So today I'm almost through, but the question is this, to 21:41 the question of my parents having done anything to 21:43 deserve my respect. 21:45 Yes, they have. 21:48 Because of the fact that we have been born in the family 21:51 of God, God never said to keep this commandment based on 21:56 their performance. 22:00 Because this commandment is for the child and for all of 22:06 the children regardless of how old the parents are and this 22:10 is how it works. 22:12 God didn't say, honor your father and your mother if they 22:16 deserve it or if they've been good to you or if they've 22:20 given you stuff you wanted or they never made mistakes. 22:23 That's not what God said. 22:25 God does not negotiate with it. 22:27 And I have to be fundamentally sound at this point, 22:30 regardless of how your heart has been broken. 22:34 And I know, somebody, you've had a broken heart as it 22:36 relates to your family. 22:37 But God still says, honor your father and your mother. 22:43 It's not so much for the father or the mother, 22:46 it's for you. 22:48 If you honor them, God says, you prolong life in the land. 22:52 Understand, no, I can't stand here and say my mom and my 22:59 daddy we've agreed on everything in our lives, 23:02 but I honor them. 23:04 I love them. Why? 23:06 Because God said so. It doesn't matter if they 23:10 deserve it or not, God said do it. 23:15 So I might be getting some resistance today, but here's 23:19 where you have to stand bold upon the word of God. 23:22 Didn't say if you were beaten, it didn't say if you were 23:28 abandoned. 23:29 It didn't say if your momma and daddy had problems. 23:32 God said, in spite of all of that honor your father and 23:40 your mother. 23:41 I already know many of you are not paying any attention to 23:44 me, but I'm trying to help somebody and tell somebody how 23:47 your days can be sustained. 23:48 Because let me tell you something, if you have 23:53 children, the way you honor your father, the way you honor 23:58 your mother, it's just a matter of time before your 24:03 children begin to treat you the way you've treated your 24:07 mother and your father. 24:10 Be not deceived. 24:12 God is not mocked. 24:15 Whatsoever man soweth, that shall he also reap. 24:21 That's the only way the family has a future, if we honor 24:25 momma and daddy. 24:27 Yes, your daddy may have been an alcoholic. 24:31 Yes, your mother may have done you wrong. 24:34 But don't let your past paralyze you. 24:39 That may have been their problem, but that's not your 24:42 problem. 24:43 You still have to honor the name of your father and your 24:46 mother. 24:47 So I'm going to sit down now because I've finished with 24:49 this text, but somebody wants to know, Pastor Byrd, 24:51 how do I do this? 24:53 The Apostle Paul in Ephesians 6: 1-3 tells us what we have 24:56 to do in this command and how we ought to behave. 24:59 In the New Testament, which affirms the Old Testament, 25:02 Paul says, children, obey your parents in the Lord 25:07 for this is right. 25:09 Honor your father and your mother, which is the first 25:13 commandment with promise, that it may be well with ye that 25:16 thou may have liveth long on the earth. 25:18 And it's just not speaking of how long you shall live, but 25:23 it's also speaking of the quality of your life. 25:26 So if you've had some bad baggage and a bad background 25:30 with your parents, that's not what the Lord is 25:34 explaining right now. 25:35 He's saying, honor them anyway. 25:42 To dishonor them is to dishonor you. 25:47 But more than that, you all, I've got to honor my father 25:51 and mother, and more than that, I want to honor not just 25:58 my earthly father and mother, but I've got to honor my 26:04 heavenly father. 26:05 PB: My name is Dr. Carlton T. 26:07 Byrd and I'm the senior pastor of the Berean Seventh-Day 26:11 Adventist Church here in Atlanta, Georgia. 26:14 I'm also privileged to be the speaker director of the Breath 26:17 of Life television ministry. 26:18 So when you see the Berean Church, you're also seeing 26:21 Breath of Life television because we are one 26:24 and the same. 26:25 While in the Atlanta area we invite you to come and visit 26:29 us as we worship the Lord together. 26:31 Our midweek worship service is on Wednesday evenings 26:34 at 7:00 p.m. 26:36 and then we have two worship experiences on 26:38 Saturday morning. 26:39 The first worship experience begins at 8:45 a.m. 26:43 and the second worship experience begins at 11:30 a.m. 26:47 So, visit us. 26:48 We're located at 291 Hamilton E. Holmes Drive 26:52 here in the city of Atlanta. 26:53 Also, you may feel free to log onto our web site 26:57 www.atlantabereansda.org or www.breathoflife.tv. 27:04 May God continue to bless you. 27:06 >: The Breath of Life gift offer this week is "Surprised 27:09 by Love" by pastor and international speaker 27:11 Elizabeth Viera Talbot. 27:12 Find out how people in the Bible were surprised 27:15 by God's love. 27:16 Adam and Eve were surprised, the deceitful serpent and the 27:19 Pharisees were surprised. 27:20 It surprised the disciples and even the heavenly angels. 27:23 And God's surprises of love continue all around us today. 27:26 Join with Elizabeth as you get a fresh view of the greatest 27:30 story ever told, from the kidnapping of God's children 27:33 to the rescue, from the ransom to the reunion. 27:36 "Surprised by Love" is yours for a gift of $5 or more. 27:39 Call our toll-free number 877-BOL-OFFER. 27:42 That's 877-265-6333. 27:44 Please have your credit card ready when you call. 27:50 Or you may write us to request your copy. 27:52 Just send a check to Breath of Life, P.O. Box 340, 27:55 Newbury Park, CA 91319. 27:57 Get your copy of "Surprised by Love" today. 28:01 Be encouraged and touched by the unexpected rescue 28:05 of God's children. 28:06 PB: Does the family have a future? 28:13 How can I honor a father or a mother who does not 28:18 deserve my respect? 28:22 It's not so much for the father or the 28:24 mother, it's for you. |
Revised 2015-02-06