- Something I saw on
social media a while ago
00:00:01.03\00:00:03.26
suddenly blew up into
this massive controversy,
00:00:03.26\00:00:06.77
and you'll never
guess what it was.
00:00:06.77\00:00:08.74
Today on "Authentic"
00:00:08.74\00:00:10.24
I'm going to tell you what
I learned from the mole man.
00:00:10.24\00:00:12.91
[mellow instrumental music]
00:00:12.91\00:00:16.64
A little while ago,
00:00:33.93\00:00:34.86
I stumbled onto this debate
00:00:34.86\00:00:36.13
on social media
that kept my attention
00:00:36.13\00:00:38.37
for way longer
than it should have.
00:00:38.37\00:00:41.10
It first showed
up on another forum,
00:00:41.10\00:00:43.30
but of course
somebody took a screenshot
00:00:43.30\00:00:45.31
and shared it
with the whole world,
00:00:45.31\00:00:47.41
such is the
nature of the internet.
00:00:47.41\00:00:49.44
It was a
heartbroken plea from a woman
00:00:49.44\00:00:51.51
whose boyfriend
was doing something
00:00:51.51\00:00:53.85
she didn't care for.
00:00:53.85\00:00:55.38
And while I'm
tempted to summarize
00:00:55.38\00:00:57.22
this for the sake of expediency,
00:00:57.22\00:00:59.15
I think the only
way to accurately
00:00:59.15\00:01:00.69
convey the sense of it,
00:01:00.69\00:01:02.29
is to just read it
to you, so here we go.
00:01:02.29\00:01:04.99
I believe this was dated
sometime in April of 2022.
00:01:04.99\00:01:08.86
It says, "So I know
this is a weird question,
00:01:08.86\00:01:11.47
"but my boyfriend likes to
spend a lot of his free time
00:01:11.47\00:01:13.94
"digging a tunnel on some
property that he inherited.
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"I haven't seen
the full extent of it,
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"but last I saw
it was remarkably
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"deep under the surface.
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"He spent roughly a
year on it, and it's evident.
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"The front of the thing is
deep, wide, well put together.
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"At the front, which is
the only part I've seen,
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"he's got cement
beams, electric lights,
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"even chairs and a small table.
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"I haven't gone into it,
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"but it looks like the quality
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"severely dropped as
the tunnel went further,
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"mostly becoming open
dirt with some wood beams
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"holding it up.
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"My biggest
concern is his safety.
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"I'm really worried that
he's going to dig too deep,
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"and it'll collapse
on him or something.
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"I've tried voicing
this concern to him,
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"but he just laughs it off
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"and assures me
that he'll be fine.
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"Aside from safety concerns,
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"there's also the fact that
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"he doesn't really
have a social life,
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"because of this thing.
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"I'm pretty much the only person
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"he still talks to
outside of his job,
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"and he doesn't go out
and do anything anymore.
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"It used to be that
he'd occasionally head out
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"and do some
digging on the weekends,
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"but now he spends almost
all of his free time out there.
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"He still comes home,
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"but he barely
spends any time with me.
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"And I know that he
isn't doing anything,
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"but digging that
darn hole in the ground.
00:02:20.27\00:02:22.64
"This can't be good
for his mental health,
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"but I don't know how
to convince him to stop."
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And now comes the kicker.
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"He's always really happy
when he comes back from digging,
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"which is why I haven't
seriously tried to stop him
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before. "But I was
talking to a friend about him,
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"and she told me he
might be going crazy.
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"Obviously, I
don't think he's insane,
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"but I hadn't considered the
mental health aspect of this,
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"and I just
don't know what to do."
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Now, this is not
the kind of thing
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I'd normally waste my time on,
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but you have to admit,
00:02:51.23\00:02:52.83
this kind of
stirs your imagination.
00:02:52.83\00:02:54.50
I mean, what in the world
is that boyfriend looking for?
00:02:54.50\00:02:57.97
Does he think there's something
valuable under the property?
00:02:57.97\00:03:00.71
Is he some kind of a prepper,
00:03:00.71\00:03:02.11
digging himself a shelter,
00:03:02.11\00:03:03.58
so he can survive the
collapse of civilization?
00:03:03.58\00:03:06.82
Or is there a possibility,
00:03:06.82\00:03:08.92
and I know this isn't nice,
00:03:08.92\00:03:10.52
but I also know this absolutely
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popped into some of your heads,
00:03:12.29\00:03:14.19
is there a possibility
00:03:14.19\00:03:15.66
that he's out
there digging that tunnel
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just to get away from her?
00:03:17.56\00:03:19.73
[chuckles] Got to wonder.
00:03:19.73\00:03:21.43
You know what my
first reaction was?
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"I wish I had a
tunnel I could work on,"
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and not because I need
to get away from my wife.
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In fact, I hit the
jackpot in the wife department.
00:03:27.40\00:03:30.81
But there's just something
00:03:30.81\00:03:32.21
really appealing about
what that guy was doing.
00:03:32.21\00:03:35.24
It doesn't really matter
00:03:35.24\00:03:36.71
if the tunnel
actually goes anywhere,
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or if it serves any
kind of practical purpose.
00:03:38.75\00:03:40.92
The joy is in the digging.
00:03:40.92\00:03:43.82
And while some of you are
00:03:43.82\00:03:44.99
going to wonder
about my sanity today,
00:03:44.99\00:03:47.16
some of you understand
what I'm talking about.
00:03:47.16\00:03:50.43
Not too far down the
gargantuan thread of posts
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that followed that one,
00:03:53.13\00:03:54.76
somebody inserted a
cartoon with two women talking.
00:03:54.76\00:03:57.80
One says to the other,
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"My boyfriend won't
stop digging his tunnel."
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And her friend
replies, "Boys are weird."
00:04:01.70\00:04:04.54
But then in the next
panel there are two men,
00:04:04.54\00:04:06.94
and one asks the
other, "You wanna dig?"
00:04:06.94\00:04:09.04
And his friend says,
"Yes," exclamation point.
00:04:09.04\00:04:12.21
It made me laugh,
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because I'm absolutely
the friend who says, "Yes!"
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Now what I'm going to
say is a little simplistic.
00:04:17.19\00:04:20.09
It's a massive generalization,
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but this whole thing
does illustrate a fundamental
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difference between the way
sexes tend to think about life.
00:04:25.83\00:04:29.83
For thousands of years,
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[light instrumental music]
men have scratched their heads
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trying to figure
out how women think,
00:04:32.67\00:04:34.70
and for thousands of years,
00:04:34.70\00:04:36.20
women have been
doing the same thing
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in the other direction.
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And I realize we can find
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lots of overlap
between the sexes
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and clear
exceptions to the rule,
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when we examine
the whole population,
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so don't write me letters.
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But, for the most part,
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there are definite trends,
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and the evident
differences between the sexes
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have been a nonstop
source of frustration
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and entertainment on
both sides of the fence.
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I mean, I've
been living with Jean
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for about three decades now,
00:05:03.37\00:05:05.00
so I can pretty much predict
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what she's going to do
00:05:06.67\00:05:07.80
under any given circumstance.
00:05:07.80\00:05:09.77
I know my wife's bedtime routine
00:05:09.77\00:05:11.97
like the back of my hand.
00:05:11.97\00:05:13.54
It involves no less
than 20 separate activities,
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and she always does
all of them in exactly
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the same order
every single night.
00:05:19.71\00:05:22.25
I know exactly
what she's going to do
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and when she's going to do it,
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but I've got to tell you this.
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To this day, I have no idea why.
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All of it makes perfect
sense to her, but not to me.
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As you can
imagine, the thread below
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this lady's post
exploded with comments,
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because I'm not the only one
00:05:39.53\00:05:41.07
who found this
subject irresistible,
00:05:41.07\00:05:44.51
and for the most part, the
responses were predictable.
00:05:44.51\00:05:47.71
Most of the women
condemned the tunnel
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and sympathized
with the girlfriend,
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not all of them,
but most of them.
00:05:51.91\00:05:54.28
A handful simply said,
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"If he's coming
home happy all the time,
00:05:55.55\00:05:57.32
"what's wrong with that?"
00:05:57.32\00:05:59.42
Now most of the men
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were decidedly in
favor of the tunnel.
00:06:00.76\00:06:03.16
Reminding us that for men,
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physical work is therapy.
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Most of us don't
want to sit in a circle
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and share our feelings,
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or bear our souls
to another human being.
00:06:10.67\00:06:13.40
I know that some
of you are convinced
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that men would
like it if we tried,
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but I can assure you we do not.
00:06:17.11\00:06:20.01
Not everybody deals
with problems the same way.
00:06:20.01\00:06:23.18
For example,
00:06:24.01\00:06:25.68
in the winter when I'm really
frustrated about something,
00:06:25.68\00:06:28.78
I like to go
outside and shovel snow.
00:06:28.78\00:06:31.12
Sometimes I'll even
move a pile of heavy wet snow
00:06:31.12\00:06:34.09
just a few feet,
because there's something about
00:06:34.09\00:06:37.39
being physically active
and doing orderly routine work
00:06:37.39\00:06:41.10
that helps you make
sense out of your thoughts.
00:06:41.10\00:06:44.33
This is likely the reason
00:06:44.33\00:06:45.57
I like to read
books when I'm walking,
00:06:45.57\00:06:47.30
which is something I discovered
the founder of this show,
00:06:47.30\00:06:49.87
the "Voice of
Prophecy" also did.
00:06:49.87\00:06:52.67
It takes a little practice
to master walking and reading,
00:06:52.67\00:06:55.44
and I'd advise a
great deal of caution
00:06:55.44\00:06:57.48
if you're going to do it.
00:06:57.48\00:06:58.75
But I love it,
00:06:58.75\00:07:00.32
because when I'm active
and my blood gets pumping,
00:07:00.32\00:07:02.12
my thoughts become sharper
00:07:02.12\00:07:04.49
and better organized.
00:07:04.49\00:07:06.52
Now, for the most part,
00:07:06.52\00:07:07.92
I find that social media
threads are a waste of my time,
00:07:07.92\00:07:10.99
and they're largely a
festival of uninformed opinions.
00:07:10.99\00:07:14.46
But sometimes all of those
throwaway comments you find
00:07:14.46\00:07:17.47
under a post begin
to reveal something true
00:07:17.47\00:07:20.54
about human nature.
00:07:20.54\00:07:22.54
One of the respondents suggested
00:07:22.54\00:07:24.21
that men have a deep need
to control their environment,
00:07:24.21\00:07:27.64
and personal experience
suggests to me that he's right.
00:07:27.64\00:07:31.61
And when we can't
control our environment,
00:07:31.61\00:07:33.45
we'll naturally go find
something we can control,
00:07:33.45\00:07:36.22
so that we can begin to find
order in the midst of chaos.
00:07:36.22\00:07:40.26
The same is true for many
women, as my wife pointed out,
00:07:40.26\00:07:42.82
and she puts
knitting in that category.
00:07:42.82\00:07:45.79
It's a somewhat
mindless activity,
00:07:45.79\00:07:47.76
but it's systematic.
00:07:47.76\00:07:49.00
So it gives a troubled mind
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a much needed sense of order.
00:07:50.43\00:07:52.33
[gentle music] And
as soon as I return
00:07:52.33\00:07:53.97
from the chaos of
a really quick break,
00:07:53.97\00:07:56.04
I'll tell you
something surprising and useful
00:07:56.04\00:07:59.14
about
post-traumatic stress disorder
00:07:59.14\00:08:01.54
and a video game I'm guessing
you've played at some point.
00:08:01.54\00:08:04.75
[light instrumental music]
00:08:04.75\00:08:06.68
[bright reflective music]
00:08:06.68\00:08:08.92
- [Announcer] Are
you searching for answers
00:08:08.92\00:08:10.25
to life's
toughest questions, like,
00:08:10.25\00:08:12.65
"Where is God when we suffer?
00:08:12.65\00:08:14.62
"Can I find real happiness?
00:08:14.62\00:08:16.79
"Does my life
really matter to God?
00:08:16.79\00:08:19.33
"Or is there any hope
for our chaotic world?"
00:08:19.33\00:08:22.53
The Discover Bible
Guides will help you
00:08:22.53\00:08:24.73
find the answers
that you're looking for.
00:08:24.73\00:08:27.37
Visit us at biblestudies.com
00:08:27.37\00:08:29.60
or give us a
call at 888-456-7933
00:08:29.60\00:08:32.74
for your free
Discover Bible Guides.
00:08:34.84\00:08:37.55
Study online on
our secure website
00:08:37.55\00:08:39.95
or have the free guides
mailed right to your home.
00:08:39.95\00:08:42.88
There is never a
cost or obligation.
00:08:42.88\00:08:45.49
The Discover Bible
Guides are our free gift to you.
00:08:45.49\00:08:49.19
Find answers and guides like
00:08:49.19\00:08:50.99
"A Second Chance at Life".
00:08:50.99\00:08:53.33
You'll find
answers to the things
00:08:53.33\00:08:54.83
that matter the most to you.
00:08:54.83\00:08:57.23
Visit biblestudies.com
and begin your journey today
00:08:57.23\00:09:00.94
to discover answers to
life's deepest questions.
00:09:00.94\00:09:04.47
- Two-thousand years ago,
00:09:07.08\00:09:08.34
the Roman
statesman and luminary Seneca
00:09:08.34\00:09:10.88
wrote to his mother
about the incredibly
00:09:10.88\00:09:13.18
stressful events
she'd been going through.
00:09:13.18\00:09:15.52
He didn't write to
her right away, he said,
00:09:15.52\00:09:17.12
"Because sometimes
discussing trauma too early
00:09:17.12\00:09:20.69
"only makes things worse."
00:09:20.69\00:09:22.46
Here's what he wrote.
00:09:22.46\00:09:23.93
"I realized that your grief
00:09:23.93\00:09:25.69
"should not be intruded upon
00:09:25.69\00:09:27.03
"while it was
fresh and agonizing,
00:09:27.03\00:09:29.06
"in the case the
consolation themselves
00:09:29.06\00:09:31.43
"should rouse and inflame it.
00:09:31.43\00:09:33.64
"For an illness too,
00:09:33.64\00:09:35.24
"nothing is more harmful
than premature treatment.
00:09:35.24\00:09:38.54
"So I was
waiting until your grief
00:09:38.54\00:09:40.11
"of itself
should lose its force,
00:09:40.11\00:09:42.14
"and being softened by
time to endure remedies,
00:09:42.14\00:09:45.45
"it would allow itself
to be touched and handled."
00:09:45.45\00:09:49.08
You know, if you think about
it, he kind of has a point.
00:09:49.08\00:09:51.75
When something
really devastating happens,
00:09:51.75\00:09:54.26
at least for me, the last thing
00:09:54.26\00:09:56.32
I want to do is talk about it.
00:09:56.32\00:09:58.73
In fact, I often find myself
00:09:58.73\00:10:00.73
turning down
phone calls from people
00:10:00.73\00:10:02.30
who really just want
to help me feel better.
00:10:02.30\00:10:04.33
I mean, I know they mean well,
00:10:04.33\00:10:06.27
but discussing the problem
00:10:06.27\00:10:08.30
with somebody
when it's really fresh,
00:10:08.30\00:10:09.97
is sometimes a
frustrating exercise,
00:10:09.97\00:10:12.21
because I haven't had time
to sort things out in my head.
00:10:12.21\00:10:15.58
[light dramatic music]
One of the problems with
00:10:15.58\00:10:17.48
traumatic events
is that your brain
00:10:17.48\00:10:19.31
just doesn't know where
to file the information,
00:10:19.31\00:10:22.35
and so you find it haunting
your thoughts day after day,
00:10:22.35\00:10:25.39
hour after hour on
an endless feedback loop
00:10:25.39\00:10:28.82
that can really
start to torture you.
00:10:28.82\00:10:31.29
And when somebody wants to talk
00:10:31.29\00:10:32.86
in the earliest
moments of your torment,
00:10:32.86\00:10:35.36
it doesn't usually help.
00:10:35.36\00:10:37.60
I'm not saying it
doesn't help anybody,
00:10:37.60\00:10:39.47
but it
certainly doesn't help me.
00:10:39.47\00:10:41.47
And I'm guessing that's
also true for a lot of you.
00:10:41.47\00:10:44.44
Ask me again in
a couple of months,
00:10:44.44\00:10:46.01
and chances are I'll
be far more ready to talk,
00:10:46.01\00:10:48.54
because by then
I'll have figured out
00:10:48.54\00:10:50.91
where to file the information,
00:10:50.91\00:10:52.55
and now it's organized.
00:10:52.55\00:10:54.95
Now I don't
really know this guy,
00:10:54.95\00:10:56.48
but I'm guessing that it's
at least part of the reason
00:10:56.48\00:10:59.32
that mole man is down there
underground excavating a tunnel.
00:10:59.32\00:11:02.96
It's a way of organizing your
thoughts even though the dirt
00:11:02.96\00:11:06.03
and the shovel might be
unrelated to the problems
00:11:06.03\00:11:08.46
you're actually thinking about.
00:11:08.46\00:11:10.57
Back in 2017,
00:11:10.57\00:11:12.43
a group of researchers
from the UK and Sweden
00:11:12.43\00:11:15.34
discovered
something really interesting
00:11:15.34\00:11:16.91
about traumatic events.
00:11:16.91\00:11:18.81
When victims of a car accident
00:11:18.81\00:11:20.54
were given a game
of Tetris to play,
00:11:20.54\00:11:22.41
within the first
few hours of the trauma,
00:11:22.41\00:11:24.88
it greatly reduced
the potential for PTSD,
00:11:24.88\00:11:28.58
even if all they did was
play the game for 20 minutes.
00:11:28.58\00:11:32.12
A psychology professor
by the name of Emily Holmes
00:11:32.12\00:11:34.92
found these studies promising.
00:11:34.92\00:11:36.49
As reported in
this online article
00:11:36.49\00:11:38.26
published by CPR
News, which said,
00:11:38.26\00:11:40.96
"Holmes feels that playing
Tetris shortly after an accident
00:11:40.96\00:11:44.27
"can interfere with
memory consolidation,
00:11:44.27\00:11:46.94
"or the gradual conversion
00:11:46.94\00:11:48.47
"of short-term memories
into more permanent ones.
00:11:48.47\00:11:51.57
"Evidence suggests that there
00:11:51.57\00:11:53.01
"is a window following a trauma,
00:11:53.01\00:11:54.91
"in which a bad memory
can be disrupted or avoided,
00:11:54.91\00:11:58.28
"and in which
memories can be uncoupled
00:11:58.28\00:12:00.38
"from the brain's
emotional centers."
00:12:00.38\00:12:03.22
Now, I'm certainly not
a qualified psychologist
00:12:03.22\00:12:06.92
by any stretch
of the imagination,
00:12:06.92\00:12:09.22
and as an amateur
I know just enough
00:12:09.22\00:12:11.93
to be a little dangerous.
00:12:11.93\00:12:13.56
But, honestly,
00:12:13.56\00:12:14.83
this research
does make sense to me.
00:12:14.83\00:12:17.47
Quite apart from the
fact that I could hear
00:12:17.47\00:12:19.13
the Tetris music
playing in my head
00:12:19.13\00:12:20.97
when I read that story,
00:12:20.97\00:12:22.50
and you're welcome because you
can probably hear it now too,
00:12:22.50\00:12:25.24
apart from that, this
research struck a chord with me.
00:12:25.24\00:12:28.98
It makes a lot of sense.
00:12:28.98\00:12:31.01
[light dramatic music]
00:12:31.01\00:12:32.25
In fact, I've been
in a few car wrecks,
00:12:32.25\00:12:34.62
including a bad
one that I caused
00:12:34.62\00:12:36.25
when I was just a few
days shy of my 17th birthday.
00:12:36.25\00:12:39.69
For the next few weeks,
00:12:39.69\00:12:40.76
every time I closed my eyes,
00:12:40.76\00:12:42.66
I saw nothing but car accident.
00:12:42.66\00:12:45.03
I could see the moment
the car became airborne,
00:12:45.03\00:12:47.73
I could hear the
screams of my passengers
00:12:47.73\00:12:50.30
and hear the
horrible sound of steel
00:12:50.30\00:12:52.40
grinding against steel.
00:12:52.40\00:12:54.34
And I could feel
the impact when the car
00:12:54.34\00:12:56.54
was stopped by a tree
at the bottom of a cliff.
00:12:56.54\00:13:00.08
And in the beginning,
00:13:00.08\00:13:00.94
it felt like that playback loop
00:13:00.94\00:13:03.11
was never ever going to stop.
00:13:03.11\00:13:06.11
It was an
experience that was so unusual,
00:13:06.11\00:13:08.12
so out of step
with my day-to-day life,
00:13:08.12\00:13:10.42
that my brain didn't
know what to do with it.
00:13:10.42\00:13:13.29
I mean, if you ask a stunt man
00:13:13.29\00:13:14.69
if his dreams are
haunted by his work,
00:13:14.69\00:13:16.49
the answer's probably no,
00:13:16.49\00:13:18.26
unless there was
something particularly horrible
00:13:18.26\00:13:20.63
when somebody
was hurt or killed.
00:13:20.63\00:13:22.96
But for the most part,
00:13:22.96\00:13:24.17
this is what these
guys do every single day,
00:13:24.17\00:13:25.63
so they can sleep
comfortably at night.
00:13:25.63\00:13:27.77
Their world makes perfect sense.
00:13:27.77\00:13:30.37
But crashing cars was not
what I do on a daily basis,
00:13:30.37\00:13:33.91
and so the memory haunted me.
00:13:33.91\00:13:35.88
The scenes appeared on the stage
00:13:35.88\00:13:37.41
of my mind uncontrollably,
00:13:37.41\00:13:39.11
reemerging when I
least expected it.
00:13:39.11\00:13:42.02
I had no way to
make sense of them.
00:13:42.02\00:13:44.49
I mean, over time
the problem went away,
00:13:44.49\00:13:47.16
but there are
people whose trauma
00:13:47.16\00:13:48.82
continues to haunt
them for many, many years.
00:13:48.82\00:13:51.86
And from where I sit, and
remember I'm not an expert,
00:13:51.86\00:13:55.26
but from where I sit, it
seems like part of the problem
00:13:55.26\00:13:58.63
is that we just don't know
what to do with the information,
00:13:58.63\00:14:02.20
and that's where a game
of Tetris really makes sense.
00:14:02.20\00:14:05.54
I mean, think about it.
00:14:05.54\00:14:07.01
A game like Tetris requires
you to make order out of chaos.
00:14:07.01\00:14:10.81
Tetris is a game
where geometric shapes
00:14:10.81\00:14:12.81
are falling out of the sky,
00:14:12.81\00:14:14.05
and you have to
rotate and guide them,
00:14:14.05\00:14:15.88
so that they all fit
together like puzzle pieces
00:14:15.88\00:14:18.62
at the bottom of the screen.
00:14:18.62\00:14:20.29
Again, it's order out of chaos.
00:14:20.29\00:14:22.72
[gentle music]
00:14:22.72\00:14:23.76
And while the chaos you faced
00:14:23.76\00:14:25.13
in real life
isn't quite like that,
00:14:25.13\00:14:27.66
your brain can still
sense that you're working on it.
00:14:27.66\00:14:30.13
That you're restoring order,
00:14:30.13\00:14:31.90
and maybe, just maybe, the
act of organizing random blocks
00:14:31.90\00:14:36.00
puts your random thoughts
into some kind of order as well,
00:14:36.00\00:14:38.77
because your brain thinks
it's finally dealing with it.
00:14:38.77\00:14:42.68
It's not, unlike the
notepad, I keep close to my bed.
00:14:42.68\00:14:46.08
I've been a horrible
sleeper my whole life,
00:14:46.08\00:14:48.28
and one of the things
that disrupts my sleep
00:14:48.28\00:14:50.09
on a regular basis
is unfinished business.
00:14:50.09\00:14:53.92
A random thought
will pop into my head
00:14:53.92\00:14:56.06
in the middle of
the night reminding me
00:14:56.06\00:14:57.96
of an unfinished task.
00:14:57.96\00:14:59.73
And, of course, at two
o'clock in the morning,
00:14:59.73\00:15:01.63
there's not much
I can do about it.
00:15:01.63\00:15:03.50
I can't make a phone call
and ask someone to help me.
00:15:03.50\00:15:06.27
I can't call a meeting to
discuss the problem with staff,
00:15:06.27\00:15:09.70
and so it haunts
me like a broken tooth
00:15:09.70\00:15:11.91
at the back of my
mouth that my tongue
00:15:11.91\00:15:13.64
just can't stop playing with.
00:15:13.64\00:15:16.41
So what do I do?
00:15:16.41\00:15:17.88
I write it down.
00:15:17.88\00:15:19.15
It might be as
simple as writing,
00:15:19.15\00:15:20.78
"Ask Ruben about our
production schedule,"
00:15:20.78\00:15:22.92
or, "Ask Kyle when
he needs the details
00:15:22.92\00:15:24.99
"for the brochure
we're going to produce."
00:15:24.99\00:15:27.26
Then the minute I write it down,
00:15:27.26\00:15:28.52
my brain marks it as handled,
00:15:28.52\00:15:30.89
and let's go of it.
00:15:30.89\00:15:32.39
So maybe doing something like
00:15:32.39\00:15:33.96
Tetris convinces your brain
00:15:33.96\00:15:35.33
that you've handled the issue,
00:15:35.33\00:15:36.43
and it can begin to relax.
00:15:36.43\00:15:38.80
You might not be able to
walk away from the problem,
00:15:38.80\00:15:41.17
but at least now
you've done something,
00:15:41.17\00:15:43.74
and your mind begins to perceive
00:15:43.74\00:15:45.91
a little more order.
00:15:45.91\00:15:47.68
Now, of course I really
have no idea why Mr. Mole Man
00:15:49.01\00:15:51.18
is actually under
the ground digging,
00:15:51.18\00:15:52.68
but I can tell you that it
appeals to me simply because
00:15:52.68\00:15:56.15
that looks like
my kind of therapy,
00:15:56.15\00:15:58.79
which brings me to the Bible,
00:15:58.79\00:16:00.69
because it has a lot to
say about the subject of worry.
00:16:00.69\00:16:04.13
There's a well-loved expression
00:16:04.13\00:16:05.63
in one of Peter's
letters, and it reads like this.
00:16:05.63\00:16:09.06
"Therefore, humble yourselves
00:16:09.06\00:16:10.67
"under the mighty hand of God,
00:16:10.67\00:16:12.47
"that he may
exalt you in due time.
00:16:12.47\00:16:14.67
"Casting all your care upon him,
00:16:14.67\00:16:17.41
"for he caress for you."
00:16:17.41\00:16:18.77
The Greek word
for care is "merimna",
00:16:19.91\00:16:22.81
and it literally means anxiety.
00:16:22.81\00:16:25.88
This was written at a
time when the Roman Empire
00:16:25.88\00:16:28.22
was just becoming aware of
the existence of Christians,
00:16:28.22\00:16:30.65
and the emperor
didn't like them.
00:16:30.65\00:16:33.02
Peter died in fact,
under the reign of Nero,
00:16:33.02\00:16:35.29
who took special
delight in killing Christians
00:16:35.29\00:16:38.16
in very inventive
and diabolical ways.
00:16:38.16\00:16:41.16
He had some of them
sewn into animal skins
00:16:41.16\00:16:43.23
and dropped in front
of a hungry pack of dogs.
00:16:43.23\00:16:46.10
There were others
that he dipped in tar
00:16:46.10\00:16:47.87
and hung from crosses,
00:16:47.87\00:16:49.10
so that he could
light them on fire
00:16:49.10\00:16:50.91
and use them as
nightlights in the arena.
00:16:50.91\00:16:53.51
It was a very stressful
time to be a Christian,
00:16:53.51\00:16:56.78
and you can be sure
there was no shortage of trauma
00:16:56.78\00:16:59.78
that believers suffered.
00:16:59.78\00:17:01.95
And how does Peter
suggest they handle it?
00:17:01.95\00:17:04.55
By releasing their cares to God,
00:17:04.55\00:17:06.82
and I'll be right
back after this break
00:17:06.82\00:17:09.19
to talk about that.
00:17:09.19\00:17:10.29
[gentle music]
00:17:10.29\00:17:12.63
- [Announcer] Here at
the "Voice of Prophecy",
00:17:12.63\00:17:14.10
we're committed to
creating top-quality programming
00:17:14.10\00:17:16.56
for the whole family.
00:17:16.56\00:17:18.03
Like our audio adventure
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00:17:18.03\00:17:21.10
"Discovery Mountain"
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00:17:21.10\00:17:23.67
for kids of all
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00:17:23.67\00:17:26.01
Your family will enjoy
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00:17:26.01\00:17:28.78
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With 24 seasonal
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00:17:31.65\00:17:34.12
and fresh content every week,
00:17:34.12\00:17:36.28
there's always a new adventure
00:17:36.28\00:17:37.99
just on the horizon.
00:17:37.99\00:17:39.55
- Sometimes the advice
00:17:42.09\00:17:43.36
that Christians
like to give each other
00:17:43.36\00:17:44.93
during really trying
times isn't really very helpful.
00:17:44.93\00:17:49.56
It's a little
like Job's friends,
00:17:49.56\00:17:51.30
who came to help him
grieve his incredible loss.
00:17:51.30\00:17:54.57
These guys really meant well,
00:17:54.57\00:17:56.64
but what they were doing
with the things they said
00:17:56.64\00:17:59.14
was kind of heaping
salt into his wounds.
00:17:59.14\00:18:02.21
I mean, statements like,
00:18:02.21\00:18:03.61
"Job, have you considered
00:18:03.61\00:18:04.75
"that this is
probably your fault?"
00:18:04.75\00:18:06.95
That's not particularly
helpful when somebody's hurting,
00:18:06.95\00:18:09.42
because trust me hurting people
00:18:09.42\00:18:11.89
have already considered that.
00:18:11.89\00:18:14.39
I've discovered over
the years that people
00:18:14.39\00:18:16.09
are usually afraid
to go and visit somebody
00:18:16.09\00:18:18.49
who has
suffered incredible loss,
00:18:18.49\00:18:20.13
because, well, they
don't know what to say.
00:18:20.13\00:18:24.03
So let me put your mind at ease.
00:18:24.03\00:18:25.33
I can tell you after decades
00:18:25.33\00:18:26.87
of sitting with
grieving families,
00:18:26.87\00:18:29.34
it's not what
you say that matters
00:18:29.34\00:18:31.61
nearly as much as the
fact that you showed up.
00:18:31.61\00:18:34.88
Unless, of course, you
say something really hurtful,
00:18:34.88\00:18:37.91
which I promise
you they will remember.
00:18:37.91\00:18:40.95
And often when
the wound is fresh,
00:18:40.95\00:18:42.52
saying less
actually proves to be more.
00:18:42.52\00:18:46.15
I mean, that's exactly
what Seneca wrote to his mother.
00:18:46.15\00:18:48.52
"I would've written sooner,
00:18:48.52\00:18:50.23
"but I didn't want
to make things worse."
00:18:50.23\00:18:53.63
So sometimes, as
my wife can tell you,
00:18:53.63\00:18:56.53
I really don't want
to talk about things
00:18:56.53\00:18:58.57
when I'm troubled by them,
00:18:58.57\00:19:00.47
but I will talk to God,
00:19:00.47\00:19:02.27
and I don't
always have the words
00:19:02.27\00:19:03.51
to express what I'm feeling.
00:19:03.51\00:19:05.57
And in that case, I
fall back on something
00:19:05.57\00:19:07.71
I found in Romans chapter
eight where Paul says this.
00:19:07.71\00:19:11.31
Listen, "Likewise, the Spirit
also helps in our weaknesses.
00:19:11.31\00:19:16.38
"For we do not know what we
should pray for as we ought,
00:19:17.79\00:19:19.92
"but the Spirit himself
makes intercession for us
00:19:19.92\00:19:23.43
"with groanings
which cannot be uttered."
00:19:23.43\00:19:26.76
So, in other words,
00:19:26.76\00:19:28.43
it doesn't matter if I
don't have the vocabulary
00:19:28.43\00:19:31.50
to express what I'm
feeling, because God does.
00:19:31.50\00:19:35.74
He knows full well
what it's like to live
00:19:35.74\00:19:37.87
here on this planet,
because he's been here,
00:19:37.87\00:19:40.44
and he struggled to
the point of actually
00:19:40.44\00:19:42.44
sweating blood in
the garden of Gethsemane.
00:19:42.44\00:19:46.18
Listen to what the author
00:19:46.18\00:19:47.45
of the book of
Hebrews tells us about Jesus.
00:19:47.45\00:19:50.25
"For we do not
have a High Priest
00:19:50.25\00:19:52.22
"who cannot
sympathize with our weaknesses,
00:19:52.22\00:19:55.22
"but was in all points tempted
as we are, yet without sin.
00:19:55.22\00:19:59.86
"Let us therefore come
boldly to the throne of grace
00:19:59.86\00:20:02.36
"that we may obtain mercy
00:20:02.36\00:20:04.33
"and find grace to
help in time of need."
00:20:04.33\00:20:07.67
The Bible reveals a
personal God who gets us
00:20:08.74\00:20:12.77
because he's not a
stranger to suffering.
00:20:12.77\00:20:15.44
He entered this
chaotic world of ours,
00:20:15.44\00:20:18.15
a world that made no sense,
00:20:18.15\00:20:20.18
a world that was
ripped apart by trauma,
00:20:20.18\00:20:23.65
[light instrumental music]
and he made sense out of it.
00:20:23.65\00:20:25.59
And then he invites you
00:20:25.59\00:20:26.76
to share what's killing you,
00:20:26.76\00:20:29.16
to bring those haunting thoughts
00:20:29.16\00:20:30.66
that refuse to
stop torturing you
00:20:30.66\00:20:32.73
and share them with him.
00:20:32.73\00:20:34.76
"Cast your cares
upon him," Peter writes,
00:20:34.76\00:20:37.53
"because he cares for you."
00:20:37.53\00:20:39.57
And sometimes when the
pain is too deep for words,
00:20:39.57\00:20:43.47
when my voice begins to falter
00:20:43.47\00:20:45.34
because I don't know how to
handle what I'm talking about,
00:20:45.34\00:20:49.51
I actually take out my
laptop and I begin to write.
00:20:49.51\00:20:52.78
And I address it to
God as if it was an email
00:20:52.78\00:20:55.52
that he was going to
receive in a matter of seconds.
00:20:55.52\00:20:58.05
[gentle instrumental music]
00:20:58.05\00:20:59.02
And wouldn't you know it?
00:20:59.02\00:21:00.59
There's just something about
00:21:00.59\00:21:02.06
the very act of
organizing my thoughts
00:21:02.06\00:21:04.13
and presenting them to
somebody bigger than myself
00:21:04.13\00:21:07.50
that begins to melt my anxiety.
00:21:07.50\00:21:10.20
My brain actually
begins to let go of it,
00:21:10.20\00:21:12.23
because it senses
that I'm dealing with it.
00:21:12.23\00:21:15.67
I take those thoughts
and I put them somewhere
00:21:15.67\00:21:18.21
by the act of
placing them in God's hands.
00:21:18.21\00:21:21.88
You know, I'm
suddenly reminded of something
00:21:21.88\00:21:23.75
that you find over
in the book of Isaiah
00:21:23.75\00:21:26.01
in chapter 43 where God says,
00:21:26.01\00:21:28.92
"Fear not, for I
have redeemed you.
00:21:28.92\00:21:31.62
"I have called you by your name.
00:21:31.62\00:21:33.39
"You are mine.
00:21:33.39\00:21:34.69
"When you pass
through the waters,
00:21:34.69\00:21:36.26
"I will be with you,
00:21:36.26\00:21:37.59
"and through the rivers,
00:21:37.59\00:21:38.53
"they shall not overflow you.
00:21:38.53\00:21:40.23
"When you walk through fire,
00:21:40.23\00:21:41.60
"you shall not be burned,
00:21:41.60\00:21:43.20
"nor shall the flame scorch you.
00:21:43.20\00:21:45.00
"For I am the Lord your God,
00:21:45.00\00:21:47.64
"the Holy One of Israel."
00:21:47.64\00:21:50.04
"Lord, how in the world
am I going to handle this?"
00:21:50.04\00:21:53.71
God answers, "You can't
handle it, so let go of it.
00:21:53.71\00:21:57.25
"I know your brain needs
a place to put this anxiety,
00:21:57.25\00:22:00.28
"so why don't you
leave it with me?"
00:22:00.28\00:22:03.12
Now, of course,
that's easier said than done,
00:22:03.12\00:22:05.25
and I suppose
that's one of the reasons
00:22:05.25\00:22:07.42
that I tend to write things down
00:22:07.42\00:22:09.16
because I can always go back
00:22:09.16\00:22:11.53
and remind myself that the
problem isn't mine anymore.
00:22:11.53\00:22:14.60
I gave it away to somebody else,
00:22:14.60\00:22:16.90
and now it's stored in
the best place possible.
00:22:16.90\00:22:20.17
In the 23rd Psalm,
00:22:21.17\00:22:22.64
easily the best known and
most loved of all the Psalms,
00:22:22.64\00:22:25.74
David says this,
00:22:25.74\00:22:27.58
"Yea, though I walk through
00:22:27.58\00:22:29.48
"the valley of
the shadow of death,
00:22:29.48\00:22:31.05
"I will fear no evil.
00:22:31.05\00:22:32.75
"For you are with me.
00:22:32.75\00:22:33.95
"You're rod and your
staff they comfort me."
00:22:33.95\00:22:36.95
Take a careful
look at what that says.
00:22:38.05\00:22:40.29
As you likely know,
00:22:40.29\00:22:41.82
because it's been read on
a thousand special occasions,
00:22:41.82\00:22:44.66
the poem begins with the words,
00:22:44.66\00:22:45.99
"The Lord is my shepherd.
00:22:45.99\00:22:47.76
"I shall not want."
00:22:47.76\00:22:49.90
So when it
mentions a rod and a staff,
00:22:49.90\00:22:52.37
it's actually
using pastoral language.
00:22:52.37\00:22:54.44
It's a picture of a
shepherd guiding his sheep,
00:22:54.44\00:22:56.60
bringing order out of chaos.
00:22:56.60\00:22:59.31
Left to
themselves, sheep will scatter.
00:22:59.31\00:23:01.38
They'll go off in a
dozen different directions.
00:23:01.38\00:23:03.88
That's why
sheepdogs are so valuable.
00:23:03.88\00:23:06.21
They know how
to corral the sheep
00:23:06.21\00:23:08.02
and keep them going
in the right direction.
00:23:08.02\00:23:10.72
This psalm uses
the language of order,
00:23:10.72\00:23:13.92
and it's better than a sheepdog.
00:23:13.92\00:23:15.62
This is God moving the
random blocks of your life
00:23:15.62\00:23:18.23
into something that
will make a lot more sense.
00:23:18.23\00:23:21.46
All right, it's
time for one last break,
00:23:21.46\00:23:23.93
and then I'll come
back and wrap things up.
00:23:23.93\00:23:26.50
[gentle music]
00:23:26.50\00:23:29.30
- [Announcer] Life
can throw a lot at us.
00:23:29.30\00:23:31.71
Sometimes we don't
have all the answers,
00:23:31.71\00:23:35.04
but that's where
the Bible comes in.
00:23:35.04\00:23:37.48
It's our guide to a
more fulfilling life.
00:23:37.48\00:23:40.58
Here at the "Voice of Prophecy",
00:23:40.58\00:23:42.15
we've created the
Discover Bible Guides
00:23:42.15\00:23:44.32
to be your guide to the Bible.
00:23:44.32\00:23:45.89
They're designed to
be simple, easy to use,
00:23:45.89\00:23:48.39
and provide answers to many
of life's toughest questions,
00:23:48.39\00:23:51.43
and they're absolutely free.
00:23:51.43\00:23:53.43
So jump online
now, or give us a call,
00:23:53.43\00:23:55.83
and start your
journey of discovery.
00:23:55.83\00:23:58.03
- Well, there you go.
00:23:59.33\00:24:00.14
I've done it again.
00:24:00.14\00:24:01.10
I've blathered on and on and on
00:24:01.10\00:24:02.60
until I've just
about run out of time.
00:24:02.60\00:24:05.71
But maybe before we're finished,
00:24:05.71\00:24:07.34
let me go back to
the tunneling boyfriend
00:24:07.34\00:24:09.31
one last time.
00:24:09.31\00:24:11.01
I really don't know what
it is about that tunnel that
00:24:11.01\00:24:13.78
that guy loves,
because we've never met,
00:24:13.78\00:24:16.45
but I can guess.
00:24:16.45\00:24:18.35
I might be
wrong, but I can guess.
00:24:18.35\00:24:20.86
There's nothing down
there under the ground
00:24:20.86\00:24:22.92
except for hard work
and his private thoughts.
00:24:22.92\00:24:26.59
He's down there
bringing order out of chaos,
00:24:26.59\00:24:29.96
and that just happens to
be one of the deepest needs
00:24:29.96\00:24:32.83
that you and I have.
00:24:32.83\00:24:34.80
And this is
really one of the reasons
00:24:34.80\00:24:36.54
that I've learned to
love reading the Bible.
00:24:36.54\00:24:40.14
This is a bluntly honest book,
00:24:40.14\00:24:43.45
and it reveals the human
condition exactly the way it is.
00:24:43.45\00:24:47.12
It doesn't sugarcoat it.
00:24:47.12\00:24:49.48
You'll find all the same trauma
00:24:49.48\00:24:51.05
that you find in
21st century life.
00:24:51.05\00:24:53.02
This book talks about
things like murder and betrayal,
00:24:53.02\00:24:57.09
and even rejection by family.
00:24:57.09\00:24:59.89
In fact, the gospel accounts
show us that Jesus himself
00:24:59.89\00:25:03.67
went through all
those things and more.
00:25:03.67\00:25:06.84
Far from being pie in the sky,
00:25:06.84\00:25:08.90
this book is an honest,
00:25:08.90\00:25:10.74
a real depiction of
what human life is like,
00:25:10.74\00:25:14.38
but then it offers
us some peace of mind,
00:25:15.48\00:25:17.65
a way to organize
the trauma of this world
00:25:17.65\00:25:19.98
and begin to
make sense out of it.
00:25:19.98\00:25:22.42
In Psalm 46,
00:25:22.42\00:25:24.25
the psalmist writes these words,
00:25:24.25\00:25:27.49
"God is our refuge and strength,
00:25:27.49\00:25:29.96
"a very present
help and trouble.
00:25:29.96\00:25:32.26
"Therefore, we will not fear,
00:25:32.26\00:25:34.50
"even though the
earth be removed,
00:25:34.50\00:25:36.43
"and though the
mountains be carried
00:25:36.43\00:25:37.83
"into the midst of the sea,
00:25:37.83\00:25:39.50
"though its waters
roar and be troubled,
00:25:39.50\00:25:41.97
"though the mountains
shake with its swelling."
00:25:41.97\00:25:44.91
Look, I'd love to sit here today
00:25:45.81\00:25:47.08
and tell you that
I've mastered all of this,
00:25:47.08\00:25:49.01
but that wouldn't be true.
00:25:49.01\00:25:51.11
I'm still learning
how to control anxiety,
00:25:51.11\00:25:54.05
but I can tell you this.
00:25:54.05\00:25:55.88
Knowing that somebody out there
00:25:55.88\00:25:57.65
can still see
the sense of my life
00:25:57.65\00:25:59.89
[light instrumental
music] on the days that I can't,
00:25:59.89\00:26:01.99
that makes all the
difference in the world,
00:26:01.99\00:26:03.93
because now I've got somewhere
00:26:03.93\00:26:05.69
to take my chaotic
thoughts and file them.
00:26:05.69\00:26:08.03
They're somewhere to put them.
00:26:08.03\00:26:10.20
I have full permission to lean
00:26:10.20\00:26:12.33
into the pain of
this life and confront it,
00:26:12.33\00:26:15.74
which many people will tell
you is one of the fastest ways
00:26:15.74\00:26:19.01
to begin the healing process.
00:26:19.01\00:26:20.94
Some people
look for distractions
00:26:21.91\00:26:24.11
in an effort to cheat
their grief and anxiety,
00:26:24.11\00:26:27.62
but as a good
friend of mine pointed out
00:26:27.62\00:26:29.52
after
tragically losing his wife,
00:26:29.52\00:26:32.02
it is almost always better
to face your grief head on.
00:26:32.02\00:26:36.73
Take it, place it under
the heading "God's Problem",
00:26:36.73\00:26:41.06
and leave it with him.
00:26:41.06\00:26:42.80
Now, it's organized.
00:26:42.80\00:26:44.00
It's categorized,
[light hopeful music]
00:26:44.00\00:26:45.33
and at least
partially dealt with.
00:26:45.33\00:26:48.20
"Be anxious for
nothing," Paul once wrote,
00:26:48.20\00:26:50.94
"but in everything by
prayer and supplication,
00:26:50.94\00:26:53.24
"with thanksgiving, let your
request be made known to God,
00:26:53.24\00:26:57.08
"and the peace of God, which
surpasses all understanding
00:26:57.08\00:27:01.48
"will guard your hearts and
minds through Christ Jesus."
00:27:01.48\00:27:05.52
You know, in the opening
chapter of the book of Ezekiel,
00:27:05.52\00:27:08.09
the prophet saw this whirlwind.
00:27:08.09\00:27:09.86
I mean, the very
definition of chaos,
00:27:09.86\00:27:12.66
and it was a
prophetic representation
00:27:12.66\00:27:14.83
of the world he
found himself living in.
00:27:14.83\00:27:16.50
He was in Babylonian exile,
00:27:16.50\00:27:19.03
but then he looked
up above the storm,
00:27:19.03\00:27:21.27
and he saw the
throne of God up there,
00:27:21.27\00:27:23.74
and realized there
is someone out there
00:27:23.74\00:27:26.24
who can handle it.
00:27:26.24\00:27:28.08
You know, some
people go and dig tunnels.
00:27:28.08\00:27:32.05
Other people like me go
and shovel heavy wet snow
00:27:32.05\00:27:36.05
or do something physical to
help organize their thoughts.
00:27:36.05\00:27:39.62
Other people learn
the ancient art of prayer,
00:27:39.62\00:27:42.99
and as they learn to pray,
00:27:42.99\00:27:44.43
they discover
something remarkable.
00:27:44.43\00:27:46.83
You can take all
the chaos of this world,
00:27:46.83\00:27:49.03
the chaos, the pain,
the anxiety of your life,
00:27:49.03\00:27:52.30
and hand it over to somebody
who's got it under control,
00:27:52.30\00:27:56.20
and at that
moment you'll discover
00:27:56.20\00:27:58.37
you really can
have peace of mind.
00:27:58.37\00:28:01.48
Thanks for joining me for
today's episode of "Authentic".
00:28:01.48\00:28:04.55
We'll see you again next week.
00:28:04.55\00:28:06.65
[mellow instrumental music]
00:28:06.65\00:28:10.39