Participants: Pr. Doug Batchelor
Series Code: AFP
Program Code: AFP000170A
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01:00 >>THIS PRESENTATION IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY THFRIENDS OF THE
01:03 AMAZING FACTS MINISTRY. 01:11 >>MARRIAGE IS AMONG THE MOST IMPORTANT COVENANTS - OR 01:16 PROMISES - THAT ARE MADE. 01:18 SOME PEOPLE LOOK AT DIVORCE AS AN ESCAPE HATCH. 01:21 I'D LIKE TO RECOMMEND, IF YOU'RE A CHRISTIAN, SHUT THE HATCH, 01:24 WELD IT, LOCK IT, THROW AWAY THE KEY. 01:30 >>FOR OVER 40 YEARS AMAZING FACTS HAS BEEN DEDICATED TO 01:33 SHARING GOD'S WORD THROUGH MEDIA. 01:35 THIS PROGRAM FEATURES HIGHLIGHTS FROM SOME OF OUR BEST TELEVISION 01:39 BROADCASTS. WE INVITE YOU TO SIT BACK AND 01:41 ENJOY THIS EDITION OF AMAZING FACTS PRESENTS. 01:50 >>OUR MESSAGE FOR TODAY, AND IT'S GOING TO BE MAYBE A TWO- OR 01:54 THREE-PART MESSAGE, IS GOING TO BE CALLED TOGETHER FOR LIFE - 01:59 TOGETHER FOR LIFE: BIBLE KEYS FOR A HAPPY MARRIAGE . 02:02 IN OUR WORLD TODAY, DIVORCE IS EPIDEMIC. 02:07 YOU'VE PROBABLY HEARD THE STATISTICS THAT SOMEWHERE 02:09 BETWEEN 40 AND 50 PERCENT OF MARRIAGES END IN DIVORCE. 02:13 THE REASON THOSE STATISTICS ARE SO SLOPPY IS BECAUSE SO MANY 02:16 PEOPLE LIVE TODAY, WITHOUT EVEN THE BENEFIT OF MARRIAGE, IT'S 02:19 HARD TO REALLY MEASURE IT. I BELIEVE IT WAS - SOMEONE 02:25 THINKS MAYBE, 'WELL, MAYBE THE SECOND MARRIAGE'LL BE BETTER. 02:30 60 PERCENT OF SECOND MARRIAGES END IN DIVORCE AND IT'S EVEN 02:33 WORSE FOR THIRD MARRIAGES. PAIGE PATTERSON, WHO WAS THE 02:41 PRESIDENT OF THE BAPTIST THEOLOGICAL SEMINARY IN FORT 02:45 WORTH, CITING THE DEMISE OF TWENTY-ONE OF THE WORLD'S 02:49 GREAT CIVILIZATIONS. ACTUALLY, THE HISTORIAN WHO 02:52 WROTE ABOUT THIS WAS AN ATHEIST, BUT HE SAID THAT HE DISCOVERED 02:55 THAT AMONG THE 21 OF THE WORLD'S GREATEST CIVILIZATIONS, PART 02:59 OF THEIR BREAKDOWN WAS THE BREAKDOWN OF THE HOME. 03:04 ADDING TO THAT HE SAID, 'AMERICA COULD BE LIVING OUT ITS FINAL 03:08 CHAPTERS IN THE ANNALS OF HISTORY UNLESS THE BIBLICAL 03:11 MODEL FOR THE FAMILY IS RESTORED.' 03:14 JAMES DOBSON SAID, IN MAY OF THIS YEAR, 'I DO NOT RECALL A 03:19 TIME WHEN THE INSTITUTIONS OF MARRIAGE AND THE FAMILY HAVE 03:23 FACED SUCH PERIL OR WHEN THE FORCES ARRAYED AGAINST THEM WERE 03:26 MORE FORMIDABLE OR DETERMINED. BARRING A MIRACLE, THE FAMILY 03:31 THAT HAS EXISTED SINCE ANTIQUITY WILL LIKELY CRUMBLE 03:34 FORESHADOWING THE FALL OF WESTERN CIVILIZATION ITSELF. 03:38 AND MANY ARE WONDERING IF WHAT HAPPENED WITH THE SUPREME COURT 03:43 AT THAT RECENT RULING ON MARRIAGE WAS DRIVING A SILVER 03:47 SPIKE IN THE HEART OF AMERICAN MARRIAGE ALTOGETHER. 03:50 NOW I DON'T WANT TO DWELL TOO MUCH ABOUT THIS, BUT IT'S 03:53 SOMETHING THAT WE PROBABLY ARE GOING TO HAVE TO TALK ABOUT. 03:55 WHAT ARE THE MAIN REASONS THAT DIVORCE HAPPENS? 04:00 I'M JUST GOING TO GIVE YOU 24 OF THE TOP REASONS THAT ARE LTED 04:03 WHEN PEOPLE CITE THE REASONS FOR DIVORCE: FINANCIAL PROBLEMS - 04:09 YOU KNOW, A LOT OF PEOPLE, THEY THINK, 'WELL, BEFORE WE GET 04:12 MARRIED, WE SHOULD LIVE TOGETHER SO WE GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER TO 04:16 FIND OUT IF WE'RE COMPATIBLE.' HAVE YOU HEARD THAT ONE BEFORE? 04:20 'YOU GUYS AREN'T MARRIED, WHY ARE YOU LIVING TOGETHER?' 04:21 'WELL, WE'RE JUST - WE WANT TO MAKE SURE WE'RE COMPATIBLE 04:23 BEFORE WE, YOU KNOW, MAKE IT OFFICIAL AND...' AND I HEARD A 04:26 PASTOR SAY, 'IF YOU WANT TO FIND OUT IF YOU'RE COMPATIBLE, YOU 04:28 DON'T NEED TO SHARE A BED, SHARE A CHECKBOOK.' BECAUSE THE NUMBER 04:31 ONE REASON THAT PEOPLE GET DIVORCED IS NOT BECAUSE THEY ARE 04:35 SEXUALLY INCOMPATIBLE, IT'S THEY'RE FINANCIALLY 04:38 INCOMPATIBLE. FINANCIAL PROBLEMS - NUMBER ONE. 04:43 INABILITY TO MANAGE OR RESOLVE CONFLICT. 04:46 INFIDELITY. CULTURAL AND LIFESTYLE DIFFERENCES. 04:52 NOW THAT, SOMETIMES, IS BIGGER THAN YOU THINK. 04:54 PEOPLE, YOU KNOW, THEY GROW UP IN A WHOLE DIFFERENT CULTURE 04:56 WITH DIFFERENT EXPECTATIONS AND DIFFERENT PATTERNS AND 04:59 TRADITIONS THAT CAN SEEM SO BIZARRE TO PEOPLE FROM A 05:03 DIFFERENT CULTURE. A LACK OF COMMITMENT IS PUT DOWN. 05:08 LACK OF COMMUNICATION BETWEEN SPOUSES. 05:12 ABANDONMENT. ALCOHOL OR DRUG ADDICTION. PHYSICAL ABUSE. 05:17 EMOTIONAL ABUSE. PERSONALITY DIFFERENCES OR 05:21 IRRECONCILABLE DIFFERENCES - HAVE YOU HEARD THAT BEFORE? 05:24 DIFFERENCES IN PERSONAL OR CAREER GOALS. 05:27 DIFFERENT EXPECTATIONS ABOUT HOUSEHOLD TASKS. 05:31 THEY GET DIVORCED BECAUSE SHE THOUGHT HE WAS GOING TO DO IT 05:34 AND HE THOUGHT SHE WAS GOING TO DO IT. 05:36 DIFFERENT EXPECTATIONS ABOUT HAVING OR REARING CHILDREN. 05:40 THAT'S A BIG ONE. INTERFERENCE FROM PARENTS OR FROM IN-LAWS. 05:45 LACK OF MATURITY IS LISTED AS A DIFFERENCE. 05:48 INTELLECTUAL INCOMPATIBILITY. SOMETIMES JUST THE EDUCATIONAL 05:51 LEVEL CAN BECOME A PROBLEM. SEXUAL INCOMPATIBILITY IS 05:57 LISTED, BUT IT'S PRETTY FAR DOWN THE LIST. 05:59 NOT ALLOWING ROOM FOR PERSONAL GROWTH. 06:02 FALLING OUT OF LOVE. RELIGIOUS CONVERSION OR 06:07 RELIGIOUS BELIEFS - I'VE SEEN THAT BECOME A SERIOUS ISSUE. 06:10 MENTAL INSTABILITY OR MENTAL ILLNESS. 06:13 CRIMINAL BEHAVIOR AND INCARCERATION FOR CRIME. 06:17 IT'S VERY HARD ON MARRIAGES WHEN ONE SPOUSE IS INCARCERATED FOR A 06:21 LONG PERIOD OF TIME. INABILITY TO DEAL WITH EACH 06:25 OTHERS' PETTY IDIOSYNCRASIES. NOW, YOU MIGHT FIND THAT SOME 06:31 OF THESE ARE ISSUES IN YOUR MARRIAGES - THOSE OF YOU WHO ARE 06:33 MARRIED HERE, BUT NONE OF THEM NEEDS TO BE THE 06:37 REASON FOR DIVORCE. AND I'M GOING TO GO THROUGH 06:42 A LIST OF MAYBE 18 DIFFERENT SUBJECTS THAT ARE BIBLE SECRETS. 06:48 AND IF WE UNDERSTAND THESE THINGS, THEY CAN REALLY 06:50 CONTRIBUTE TO HEALING A MARRIAGE AND MAKING A GOOD MARRIAGE 06:54 BETTER IF WE FOLLOW THESE PRINCIPLES. 06:57 FIRST OF ALL, 1) REMEMBER THAT MARRIAGE IS A DIVINE COVENANT. 07:03 WE ARE SAVED. YOU'RE IN CHURCH TODAY BECAUSE, 07:05 OSTENSIBLY, YOU WANT TO BE OR ARE A CHRISTIAN AND WE ARE SAVED 07:09 BASED ON A COVENANT - A PROMISE - THAT GOD HAS MADE TO US. 07:13 HE GAVE HIS SON TO SAVE US AND WE, BY FAITH, ACCEPT HIS WORD 07:17 AND WE MAKE A PLEDGE THAT WE'RE GOING TO COMMIT OUR LIVES TO 07:20 HIM. A COVENANT IS MADE - COVENANTS 07:22 - AGREEMENTS - PROMISES - VERY IMPORTANT. 07:27 MARRIAGE IS AMONG THE MOST IMPORTANT COVENANTS OR PROMISES 07:32 THAT ARE MADE. YOU'RE MAKING VOWS IN THE 07:35 PRESENCE OF GOD AND OTHER WITNESSES. IT'S A COVENANT 07:37 THAT'S NOT ONLY SOMETHING THAT IS DONE BEFORE YOU AND GOD. 07:40 IT'S SOMETHING THAT IS DONE SOCIALLY. 07:42 IT'S A COMMITMENT - A COVENANT THAT MAKES - FOR ONE THING, IT 07:45 IS SAYING PUBLICLY 'WE ARE OFFICIALLY COMMITTING OURSELVES 07:48 TO EACH OTHER. SHE IS OFF THE MARKET FOR ANYONE 07:51 ELSE THAT MIGHT BE INTERESTED.' SHE'S SAYING 'HE 07:52 IS OFF THE MARKET. WE ARE A NEW FAMILY UNIT THAT IS 07:56 TO BE GUARDED AND RESPECTED BY THE CULTURE AND SOCIETY.' 08:01 IT IS A PUBLIC COMMITMENT. >>AMEN. 08:03 >>AND IT USED TO BE THE REASON THE GOVERNMENT IS INVOLVED IS 08:06 BECAUSE THERE WAS OFFSPRING THAT WAS THE PRODUCT OF THOSE UNIONS 08:11 AND IF ONE OF THE SPOUSES DIED OR BOTH SPOUSES DIED, THEY 08:16 NEEDED TO DETERMINE HOW TO DEAL WITH THE CHILDREN. 08:19 AND THEN, SOMETIMES, THE GOVERNMENT WOULD HAVE TO STEP IN 08:21 TO CARE FOR THOSE THINGS - AND THERE WERE LAWS INVOLVED. 08:23 BUT IT DOES MATTER THAT YOU ARE LEGALLY MARRIED. 08:27 IS IT REQUIRED THAT YOU ARE MARRIED IN A CHURCH? 08:30 NO, IT DOESN'T SAY SO IN THE BIBLE, BUT I THINK IF YOU'RE A 08:33 CHRISTIAN YOU WOULD WANT IT TO BE A RELIGIOUS SERVICE BECAUSE 08:37 IT'S A COVENANT IN THE PRESENCE OF GOD AND YOU WANT TO COMMIT 08:40 YOUR LIVES TO GOD. JESUS SAID - MATTHEW 19, VERSE 5 - "FOR THIS 08:46 CAUSE SHALL A MAN LEAVE FATHER AND MOTHER AND SHALL CLEAVE TO 08:50 HIS WIFE: AND THE TWAIN SHALL BE ONE FLESH. WHEREFORE...WHAT GOD 08:56 HATH JOINED TOGETHER, LET NOT MAN PUT ASUNDER." 09:00 THE DISCIPLES CAME TO JESUS AND THEY SAID, 'WELL MOSES, HE GAV 09:04 US A LAW ABOUT DIVORCE AND HOW WE ACCOMPLISH A DIVORCE AND 09:09 YOU'RE TEACHING SOMETHING DIFFERENT.' AND JESUS SAID, 09:12 'YES, BECAUSE OF THE HARDNESS OF YOUR HEARTS MOSES MADE THOSE 09:16 LAWS.' THEY ACTUALLY HAD A LAW THAT, BY THE TIME OF CHRIST, A 09:22 MAN COULD DIVORCE HIS WIFE IF SHE BURNED HIS FOOD. 09:25 I MEAN, THEY KEPT EXPANDING WHAT THE EXCUSES FOR DIVORCE WERE 09:29 BECAUSE OF THE HARDNESS OF HEARTS. 09:31 AND, GOD SAYS, 'I HATE DIVORCE.' AND THAT TRANSLATES 09:35 ABOUT THE SAME IN ANY VERSION OF THE BIBLE THAT YOU HAVE. 09:39 NOW I KNOW THAT A LOT OF PEOPLE HERE ARE AFFECTED BY THIS AND I 09:43 NEED TO LET YOU KNOW THERE ARE TIMES WHEN, BIBLICALLY, IT IS 09:46 APPROPRIATE TO DIVORCE. AS MUCH AS GOD HATES DIVORCE 09:49 IT WAS GOD WHO TOLD ABRAHAM TO DIVORCE - PUT AWAY - HAGAR. 09:54 OF COURSE, HE HAD ONE WIFE TOO MANY AT THE TIME AND HE HAD TO 09:57 DEAL WITH THAT. BUT LOOK AT ALL THE HEARTACHE THAT IT BROUGHT. 10:01 IT'S DANGEROUS TO GO INTO MARRIAGE THINKING THAT DIVORCE 10:05 IS AN OPTION BECAUSE IF YOU, IN THE BACK OF YOUR MIND EVEN THINK 10:08 IT, THEN YOU CAN END UP HAVING PROBLEMS. SOME PEOPLE LOOK AT 10:14 DIVORCE AS AN ESCAPE HATCH. I'D LIKE TO RECOMMEND, IF YOU'RE 10:16 A CHRISTIAN, SHUT THE HATCH, WELD IT, LOCK IT, 10:20 THROW AWAY THE KEY. >>AMEN. 10:22 >>AS SOON AS YOU KNOW IT'S NOT AN OPTION AND YOU REALIZE THAT 10:25 YOU'RE ON A DESERTED ISLAND WITH THIS PERSON CALLED YOUR HUSBAND 10:28 OR YOUR WIFE, YOU'VE GOT TO GET ALONG. 10:32 THEN YOU START DOING YOUR BEST TO MAKE THE BEST OF IT. 10:34 NOW, AGAIN, I RECOGNIZE THERE ARE SOME, EVEN BIBLICAL, GROUNDS 10:38 FOR DIVORCE. DO YOU KNOW WHAT THEY ARE? 10:41 THERE ARE TWO REASONS THAT ARE REALLY GIVEN IN THE BIBLE WHEN 10:46 IT'S APPROPRIATE TO DIVORCE - AND NOT JUST DIVORCE, BECAUSE 10:50 YOU CAN SEPARATE, YOU KNOW, IF THERE'S ABUSE IN THE MARRIAGE 10:52 YOU SHOULD SEPARATE. 10:54 BUT TO DIVORCE, OFTEN PEOPLE ARE THINKING DIVORCE IS DESIGNED TO 10:58 PUT THEM BACK ON THE MARKET SO THEY CAN REMARRY. 11:02 ONE IS FOR THE CAUSE OF FORNICATION, JESUS SAID. 11:05 IF ONE SPOUSE OR THE OTHER VIOLATES THOSE SACRED VOWS AND 11:14 COMMITS THAT INTIMATE ACT WITH ANOTHER PERSON, THEY BIBLICALLY 11:18 HAVE GROUNDS - THEY HAVE BROKEN THE COVENANT - THEY HAVE GROUNDS 11:21 TO DIVORCE AND THEN TO REMARRY. IT DOESN'T MEAN THEY HAVE TO. 11:28 NOWHERE IS JESUS SAYING THAT YOU HAVE TO DIVORCE. 11:30 RECONCILIATION IS ALWAYS MUCH BETTER. 11:33 AND LET ME ASK YOU, DOES THE BIBLE SOMETIMES USE THE 11:36 EXPRESSION THAT THE LORD IS OUR HUSBAND, THE CHURCH IS THE 11:39 BRIDE? DOES GOD SAY THAT SOMETIMES HIS 11:42 PEOPLE, WHETHER IT WAS ISRAEL OR THE CHURCH, HAS PLAYED THE 11:46 HARLOT AND COMMITTED ADULTERY? DOES THE LORD FORGIVE - READ THE 11:50 BOOK OF HOSEA - AND TAKE HER BACK? IF THERE HAS BEEN 11:53 INFIDELITY, IT DOESN'T MEAN YOU HAVE TO GET DIVORCED. 11:56 AND I TOLD YOU THERE WERE TWO REASONS. 11:58 IN 1 CORINTHIANS CHAPTER 7 ANOTHER EXAMPLE IS GIVEN. 12:01 PAUL IS TALKING TO PAGANS - THERE WERE PEOPLE OUT THERE THAT 12:05 WORSHIPED THE GRECO-ROMAN ARRAY OF GODS, AND ONE OF THEM ACCEPTS 12:11 JESUS - LET'S SUPPOSE THE WIFE THEN ACCEPTS JESUS. 12:14 AND THE HUSBAND SAYS, I DIDN'T SIGN UP FOR THIS. 12:18 I DON'T WANT TO BE A CHRISTIAN. I DON'T WANT TO 12:19 FOLLOW YOUR LAWS. I'M LEAVING. 12:22 IF THAT HUSBAND ABANDONS THE WIFE BECAUSE SHE HAS ACCEPTED 12:25 JESUS - THEY BOTH GOT MARRIED AS PAGANS - THEN, PAUL SAYS, SHE IS 12:30 FREE IN THAT REGARD, LET HIM DEPART. 12:34 BUT HE SAYS, 'IF YOUR HUSBAND IS WILLING TO STAY MARRIED, STAY 12:36 MARRIED THAT THE HUSBAND MAY BE CONVERTED BY THE BEHAVIOR AND 12:40 CONVERSATION OF THE WIFE - OR VICE VERSA. 12:43 BUT THAT WAS SORT OF A SECOND CLAUSE WHERE PAUL SAID 'IN THE 12:46 EVENT THAT YOU'VE GOT TWO PAGANS THAT ONE OF THEM CONVERTS AND 12:49 THE PAGAN SPOUSE SAYS, 'WELL, I'M LEAVING' - DOES THAT MEAN, 12:53 NOW THE PERSON WHO'S NEWLY CONVERTED CAN NEVER REMARRY? 12:57 NO, PAUL SAYS THEY ARE NOT UNDER BONDAGE IN SUCH CASES. 13:00 I JUST WANT TOAKE SURE THAT PEOPLE UNDERSTAND THAT WAS 13:03 A SPECIFIC SCENARIO THAT PAUL IS TALKING ABOUT THERE. 13:07 SO MARRIAGE HAS TO BE A COVENANT WHERE YOU STICK WITH THE PERSON 13:12 - IN SICKNESS AND IN HEALTH. 13:15 I REMEMBER HEARING ABOUT THIS LADY THAT WAS AT HER HUSBAND'S 13:18 BEDSIDE IN THE HOSPITAL AS HE WAS KIND OF SLIPPING IN AND OUT 13:20 OF A COMA DURING WHAT WAS TO BE HIS FINAL ILLNESS. 13:25 AND DURING ONE OF HIS LUCID MOMENTS SHE WAS AT HIS SIDE AND 13:31 HE SAID, 'HONEY,' - SHE DREW CLOSE WHEN HE WAS TALKING - HE 13:34 SAID, 'I REMEMBER. YOU'VE ALWAYS BEEN AT MY SIDE.' 13:38 AND HE SAID, 'WHEN I LOST MY JOB YOU WERE THERE. 13:42 WHEN THE BUSINESS FAILED, THERE YOU WERE.' HE SAID, 'WHEN I 13:47 BROKE MY LEG YOU WERE THERE.' HE SAID, 'WHEN I GOT SICK YOU WERE 13:52 THERE.' HE SAID, 'YOU KNOW, DEAR, I JUST WANTED TO TELL YOU, 13:57 I REALIZED SOMETHING.' SHE DREW CLOSE AND HER EYES WERE ALL 13:59 MISTY. HE SAID, 'I THINK YOU'RE BAD LUCK!' (RAUCOUS LAUGHTER) 14:04 >>OH! THAT'S SO BAD! >>OH COME ON. 14:11 THE GUYS THINK IT'S FUNNY. (LAUGHTER) 14:16 NOW THAT WAS JUST THE FIRST POINT - IT'S A COVENANT. 14:18 POINT NUMBER 2: ESTABLISH YOUR OWN PRIVATE HOME. 14:22 I'LL READ IT TO YOU AGAIN - GENESIS 2:24, "THEREFORE SHALL A 14:25 MAN LEAVE HIS FATHER AND MOTHER AND SHALL CLEAVE" - IT'S CALLED 14:29 LEAVE AND CLEAVE - AND THAT WORD, CLEAVE, IT ACTUALLY DOES 14:32 COME FROM THAT - AN ANCIENT JEWISH WORD WHERE THEY MADE GLUE 14:35 OUT OF HORSE HOOVES OR SHEEP HOOVES AND IT WAS GLUE - IT 14:39 MEANS BE ATTACHED. IT SAYS YOU'RE TO LEAVE - IT'S 14:43 IMPORTANT TO ESTABLISH YOUR OWN HOME. 14:46 IF YOU HAVE TOO MUCH OF THE IN-LAWS AND THE OUT-LAWS ALL 14:51 THERE WHEN YOU'RE TRYING TO ESTABLISH YOUR FAMILY - THE 14:54 FIRST COUPLE OF YEARS ARE TOUGH AND YOU NEED TO HAVE SOME 14:57 PRIVACY BECAUSE YOU'RE TAKING YOUR WHOLE SCENARIO OF WHAT 15:02 LIFE'S ABOUT AND ALL YOUR EXPERIENCES AND YOUR 15:04 EXPECTATIONS AND YOU'RE BRINGING THEM TO THE MARRIAGE AND THEN 15:07 YOUR WIFE IS TAKING HER EXPERIENCE AND BRINGING IT TO 15:10 THE MARRIAGE - AND KAREN AND I KNEW WE WERE GOING TO HAVE SOME 15:12 CHALLENGES BECAUSE KAREN WENT TO THE SAME SCHOOL TWELVE YEARS AND 15:16 THEN WENT TO CHRISTIAN COLLEGE. I WENT TO FOURTEEN 15:18 DIFFERENT SCHOOLS. SHE GREW UP IN A 15:21 CHRISTIAN FAMILY. I GREW UP IN A PAGAN FAMILY. 15:25 AND - JUST THE WAY YOU THINK AND YOU COMMUNICATE AND YOUR 15:27 EXPECTATIONS - WE KNEW THERE WERE GOING TO BE DIFFERENCES. 15:31 AND IT'S IMPORTANT THAT YOU'RE ABLE TO BRING THOSE THINGS 15:34 TOGETHER SO THAT YOU CAN COALESCE YOUR LIVES WITHOUT 15:38 OUTSIDE INTERFERENCE AND IF THERE ARE THIRD AND FOURTH 15:41 PARTIES IN THE HOME - AND I REALIZE, SOMETIMES IN SOME 15:44 CULTURES IT BECOMES - IT CAN BECOME DIFFICULT, BUT GOD SAID 15:49 'A MAN SHALL LEAVE HIS FATHER AND MOTHER AND CLEAVE UNTO HIS 15:51 WIFE.' THE OTHER THING IS, IF A MAN HAS HIS FATHER AND MOTHER 15:54 LIVING IN THE HOUSE, HE'S ALWAYS COMPARING HIS MOTHER'S COOKING 15:57 TO HIS WIFE'S COOKING AND THAT MAY NOT BE GOOD FOR HIS 16:01 RELATIONSHIP WITH ONE OR THE OTHER. 16:03 ESTABLISH YOUR OWN HOME. DON'T LET THIRD 16:05 PARTIES COME BETWEEN. SPOUSE SHOULD BE THE BEST FRIEND. 16:11 POINT NUMBER 3 IN A MARRIAGE, IT SAYS, 'ABOVE ALL THINGS, 16:15 CONTINUE YOUR COURTSHIP. WHAT BROUGHT YOU TOGETHER IN 16:20 THE FIRST PLACE NEEDS TO GO ON. 1 PETER 4:8, "AND ABOVE ALL 16:24 THINGS BE UNFAILING IN YOUR LOVE FOR ONE ANOTHER SINCE LOVE 16:30 COVERS A MULTITUDE OF SIN." YOU KNOW WHERE JESUS SAYS IN 16:33 REVELATION, 'NEVERTHELESS I HAVE THIS AGAINST YOU' - 16:36 BECAUSE WHAT? YOU'VE LOST YOUR FIRST LOVE. 16:40 AND HOW MANY TIMES HAVE PEOPLE THOUGHT, 'WHAT IN THE WORLD WAS 16:42 I THINKING. I LOVE THIS PERSON. 16:45 WHERE'D THAT LOVE GO? WE FELL OUT OF LOVE. 16:48 WE DRIFTED APART.' WELL, THE THINGS THAT BROUGHT YOU TOGETHER 16:51 IN THE FIRST PLACE MUST BE CONTINUALLY NURTURED AND FED AND 16:56 ENCOURAGED AND REVIVED. SOMEONE SAID, 'MARRIAGE IS LIKE 17:00 RUING A FARM - YOU'VE GOT TO START OVER EVERY DAY.' 17:03 (LAUGHTER) AND YOU DON'T REALLY GET A DAY OFF. 17:07 EVERY DAY THERE NEEDS TO BE THINGS THAT NURTURE THAT FIRST 17:11 LOVE. PROVERBS 31:28, "...HER HUSBAND ALSO, AND HE PRAISES 17:15 HER." YOU NOTICE THAT'S AN ONGOING VERB? 17:19 YOU CONTINUE TO ENCOURAGE AND TO PRAISE. 17:22 WE NEED THOSE THINGS. WE APPRECIATE IT. 17:25 1 CORINTHIANS 7:34, "...SHE WHO IS MARRIED CARES...HOW SHE MAY 17:29 PLEASE HER HUSBAND." AND SO IT'S AN ONGOING CONCERN 17:34 - PRAISE, CARING ABOUT PLEASING THIS PERSON. 17:37 WHEN YOU START TAKING THE PERSON FOR GRANTED, THEN YOU HAVE A LOT 17:40 OF PROBLEMS. YOU NEED TO SHOW AFFECTION AND 17:44 IT - IT NEEDS TO BE CONSCIOUS. YOU MIGHT SAY, 'WELL, BUT I 17:47 DON'T FEEL LOVE.' DO IT ANYWAY AND YOU'LL BE SURPRISED, YOU 17:49 MIGHT START FEELING THE LOVE AGAIN. 'DO THE FIRST WORKS', 17:52 JESUS SAID. 'REMEMBER FROM WHERE YOU HAVE FALLEN. 17:55 REPENT AND DO THE FIRST WORKS.' ROMANS 12, VERSE 10, "BE KINDLY 18:00 AFFECTIONATE TO ONE ANOTHER WITH BROTHERLY LOVE, IN HONOR GING 18:03 PREFERENCE TO ONE ANOTHER;" BILLY SUNDAY SAID, 'TRY PRAISING 18:06 YOUR WIFE, EVEN IF IT DOES FRIGHTEN HER AT FIRST.' 18:08 (LAUGHTER) AND YOU'VE HEARD THE EXPRESSION BEFORE, 'TREAT HER 18:13 LIKE A QUEEN AND SHE WILL TREAT YOU LIKE A KING.' AND SOMETIMES 18:17 YOU WILL GET, FROM THE OTHER PERSON, WHAT YOU'VE ALWAYS BEEN 18:20 WANTING TO GET, WHEN YOU TREAT THEM THE WAY THAT THEY'RE 18:23 LONGING TO BE TREATED. AND SO IT'S THROUGH THE 18:26 COOPERATIVE NURTURING OF EACH OTHER IN THE RELATIONSHIP. 18:31 DON'T OVERLOOK THE LITTLE COURTESIES, ENCOURAGEMENTS, AND 18:35 AFFECTIONATE ACTS. DON'T TAKE EACH 18:37 OTHER FOR GRANTED. WHAT YOU DID WHEN YOU COURTED 18:40 EACH OTHER - THE EXCITEMENT, THE LOVE - YOU NEED TO HAVE DATE 18:42 NIGHTS WHERE YOU GO OUT AND YOU DO THINGS TOGETHER. 18:46 AND THEN, MAYBE I'LL PAUSE WITH THIS THOUGHT AFTER - I'LL DO 18:49 POINT NUMBER 4 AND WE'LL TAKE IT UP WHEN WE BEGIN NEXT TIME - 18:54 GUARD YOUR THOUGHTS. DON'T LET YOUR SENSES TRAP YOU. 18:58 NOW YOU'D BE SURPRISED HOW MANY MARRIAGES ARE DESTROYED 19:00 BECAUSOF BAD THINKING. 19:03 PROVERBS 23, VERSE 7, "FOR AS HE THINKS IN HIS HEART, SO IS HE." 19:09 A LOT OF ADULTERIES BEGIN WITH THOUGHTS. 19:13 YOU KNOW ONE OF THE NUMBER ONE THINGS THAT CONTRIBUTES TO 19:16 DIVORCE MAY NOT BE THE ACT OF ADULTERY BUT IT'S MENTAL 19:21 ADULTERY THAT'S HAPPENING EITHER THROUGH PORNOGRAPHY ON THE 19:25 INTERNET OR SOAP OPERAS ON TELEVISION. 19:30 AND I'M NOT SAYING THEY'RE EXACTLY THE SAME THING BUT, YOU 19:34 KNOW, WHEN EVERY DAY WIFE OR A HUSBAND - IT'S NOT TYPICALLY THE 19:40 HUSBAND - IS WATCHING OTHER PEOPLE, VICARIOUSLY, HAVING 19:45 AFFAIRS, THEN YOU'RE REJOICING IN THOSE THAT DO IT. 19:50 IT'S SOMETHING THAT'S HAPPENING IN THE THINKING AND WHAT'S 19:53 HAPPENING IS PEOPLE LOOKING AT THESE UNREAL IMAGES ON THE 19:57 INTERNET, ON TV, ON THEIR COMPUTER - OR TELEVISION 20:03 PROGRAMS THAT ARE GIVING A COUNTERFEIT HOLLYWOOD VERSION OF 20:06 WHAT MARRIAGE IS SUPPOSED TO BE AND TOTALLY UNREALISTIC, SAPPY 20:11 LOVE STORIES THAT ARE SO FAR-FETCHED FROM ANY REAL LIFE 20:15 THAT PEOPLE CAN START TO BE DISSATISFIED AND THINK - YEAH, 20:20 THEY GOT SOME DEBONAIR ACTOR THAT'S JUST - 'HE'S THE MOST 20:22 THOUGHTFUL GUY IN THE WORLD AND HE'S DOING ALL THESE THINGS AND 20:25 HE'S SO ROMANTIC AND HE'S GOT LOTS OF MONEY AND FANCY CARS AND 20:27 HE ALWAYS LOOKS BUFF AND WORKING OUT AND HE'S JUST - EVERY HAIR'S 20:31 IN PLACE AND...' HOW CAN YOU COMPETE WITH THAT? 20:35 (LAUGHTER) AND THEN SHE - YOU KNOW, YOU COME HOME FROM WORK 20:40 AND SHE LOOKS AT YOU AND GOES, 'OH BROTHER, HE DOESN'T LOOK 20:44 ANYTHING LIKE THAT GUY.' (LAUGHTER) AND SO, IN THE MIND, 20:48 GUYS ARE LOOKING AT THESE GIRLS THAT HAVE GOT THESE PERFECT 20:51 BODIES - AIRBRUSHED, PHOTOSHOPPED - AND THEN THEY 20:56 SEE, YOU KNOW, A COUPLE OF WRINKLES AND A LITTLE CELLULITE 21:00 AND THEY START THINKING - AND THINGS START HAPPENI IN THE 21:03 MIND. NOW WE'RE KIND OF LAUGHING 21:05 BECAUSE WE KNOW IT'S TRUE, BUT TELEVISION HAS CONTRIBUTED 21:13 A GREAT DEAL TO DESTROYING MARRIAGES. TURN OFF THE TV. 21:22 IN AN ARTICLE BY DR. ARMAND NICHOLI, WHO IS A PSYCHIATRIST 21:26 AND A MEDICAL DOCTOR IN THE FACILITY OF HARVARD MEDICAL 21:29 SCHOOL, HE SAID, "ANOTHER TREND THAT IS GOING TO DESTROY THE 21:33 FAMILY AS WE KNOW IT AND CAUSE EMOTIONAL CRIPPLES, IS THE 21:38 INVASION OF TELEVISION INTO THE HOME." 21:41 ONE-FIFTH OF THE LIFETIME, IN THE NEXT GENERATION, WILL BE 21:44 SPENT WATCHING TELEVISION. IF YOU LIVE TO BE 80 YEARS OF 21:47 AGE, WHICH IS YOUR AVERAGE, YOU'LL HAVE WATCHED TELEVISION 21:51 A TOTAL OF FOUR THOUSAND DAYS, CREATING A TREMENDOUS IMPACT. 21:56 AND SINCE WE KNOW THAT TELEVISION IS PART OF A SYSTEM 21:58 THAT TEARS DOWN THE FAMILY. YOU'LL HAVE A TOTAL OF 4,000 22:01 DAYS OF ANTI-FAMILY PROGRAMMING ON ONE LEVEL OR ANOTHER. 22:06 AND SO, EVERYTHING FROM WHAT WE READ TO WHAT WE WATCH AND WHAT'S 22:09 ON THE INTERNET, IT IS AFFECTING THE THINKING AND PEOPLE BRING 22:13 THESE UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS INTO REAL MARRIAGES. 22:17 THEY BRING THESE UNREALISTIC IMAGES INTO REAL MARRIAGES AND 22:21 THEY ARE DISSATISFIED. 22:24 AND THEN THOUGHTS COME INTO THE MIND AND THEY START HAVING 22:26 SECOND THOUGHTS AND THEY START HAVING DOUBTS AND THEY HAVE 22:29 UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS AND - THE IMPURITY IN THE MIND. 22:33 KEEP YOUR MIND - KEEP YOUR HEART - LET THE BIBLE AND THE WORD OF 22:38 GOD AND THE THINGS OF GOD BE THE CATALYST FOR YOUR FAMILY AND 22:43 YOU'LL FIND THAT THAT LOVE AND APPRECIATION FOR THAT PERSON 22:46 THAT GOD HAS FOR YOU - THAT YOU ARE - YOU'VE BECOME ONE WITH 22:50 THROUGH MARRIAGE, WILL BE RESTORED AND REVIVED. 22:53 >>AMEN. >>A COUPLE WAS - THEY WERE 22:56 HAVING DAILY BICKERING, ARGUMENTS, OFTEN OVER LITTLE 22:59 THINGS. THEY REALIZED THAT EVERY DAY 23:02 THEY WERE AT EACH OTHER. AND THE WIFE CAME UP WITH AN 23:05 IDEA. SHE SAID, 'LOOK, YOU KNOW, THIS IS SILLY. IT'S IMMATURE. 23:09 IF WE HAVE DIFFERENCES - IF THERE'S THINGS WE WANT TO 23:13 COMMUNICATE, LET'S GIVE EACH OTHER A BREAK. 23:15 IF THERE'S SOMETHING I'M DOING THAT'S BOTHERING YOU, WRITE IT 23:18 OUT ON A SLIP OF PAPER. PUT IT IN THIS BOX HERE 23:21 ON THE KITCHEN COUNTER. IF I'VE GOT SOMETHING, I'LL 23:23 WRITE IT DOWN, I'LL PUT IT ON THE KITCHEN COUNTER. 23:25 AT THE END OF THE MONTH, THEN WE'LL TALK THROUGH IT. 23:28 WE'LL HAVE ONE BIG ARGUMENT AND GET IT OVER WITH.' SO HE SAID, 23:32 'OKAY, DEAR.' SO EACH DAY SHE'D MAKE AN OBSERVATION, SHE'D WRITE 23:37 IT DOWN, SHE'D PUT IT IN THE BOX AND WOULDN'T SAY ANYTHING. 23:40 HE'D WRITE SOMETHING DOWN, HE'D PUT IT IN THE BOX AND WOULDN'T 23:42 SAY ANYTHING. THIS WENT ON FOR THIRTY DAYS. 23:45 AT THE END OF THIRTY DAYS SHE SAID, 'OKAY, LET'S SIT DOWN. 23:48 LET'S OPEN THE BOX.' SHE TOOK OUT THE BOX AND SHE 23:51 PULLED OUT HER PINK PAPERS. 23:54 IT SAID, 'LEAVING THE LID OFF THE JELLY JAR AGAIN.' 24:00 'DIRTY SOCKS ON THE FLOOR.' AND SHE JUST WAS GOING TOUGH 24:03 HER LITANY OF - JUST ALL THESE THINGS AND FINALLY SHE 24:07 SAID, 'OKAY, YOU CAN READ YOUR BLUE ONES NOW.' HIS SAID, 24:10 'I LOVE YOU.' 'I LOVE YOU.' 'I LOVE YOU.' AND SHE BEGAN 24:19 TO FEEL A LITTLE BAD. THE THINGS - BY THE WAY, THAT 24:22 STORY CAN BE TOLD EITHER WAY. LOVE COVERS A MULTITUDE OF SIN. 24:31 YOU KNOW, WE NATURALLY ARE NOT LOVABLE. 24:36 GOD DIDN'T DIE FOR US BECAUSE WE'RE LOVABLE. 24:38 IT'S EASY TO LOVE THE LOVABLE. WHILE WE WERE YET SINNERS, 24:41 CHRIST LOVED US AND DIED FOR US. >>AMEN. 24:43 >>AND IF THE LORD CAN LOVE US AND THE LOVE OF CHRIST CAN BE 24:48 SHED ABROAD IN OUR HEARTS - YOU KNOW WHAT ONE - WHAT'S THE GREAT 24:52 COMMANDMENT IN THE LAW? 'LOVE THE LORD WITH ALL YOUR 24:55 HEART AND LOVE' - WHAT? >>YOUR NEIGHBOR. 24:57 >>LOVE WHO? >>YOUR NEIGHBOR. 24:59 WHO'S A CLOSER NEIGHBOR THAN YOUR SPOUSE? 25:02 >>NOBODY. >>IT'S INTERESTING. THE BIBLE 25:04 SAYS YOU NEED TO LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR. IT SAYS YOU NEED TO 25:06 LOVE YOUR ENEMY. SOMEONE BROUGHT OUT IT'S OFTEN 25:08 BECAUSE YOUR NEIGHBOR BECOMES YOUR ENEMY. 25:12 AND IF WE CAN'T LOVE OUR SPOUSES, HOW ARE WE GOING TO 25:17 LOVE OUR ENEMIES? HOW ARE WE GOING TO 25:18 LOVE OUR NEIGHBORS? THAT'S WHERE IT STARTS. 25:22 AND IT'S A CHOICE THAT NEEDS TO BE MADE. 25:24 NOW THERE'S A RULE IN LIFE - IT'S SAYS THERE'S A SIMPLE RULE 25:28 OF PHYSICS - THAT THE CLOSER THAT TWO OBJECTS COME TO A 25:32 COMMON DESTINATION, THEY WILL INVARIABLY COME CLOSER TO ONE 25:36 ANOTHER. AND IF CHRIST IS AT THE 25:39 MIDDLE OF YOUR LIFE - IF YOU, PERSONALLY, HAVE SURRENDERED 25:42 YOUR LIFE TO JESUS, THE CLOSER YOU ARE COMING TO JESUS - AND IF 25:46 YOUR SPOUSE IS COMING CLOSER TO JESUS - YOU WILL INVARIABLY 25:49 BE COMING CLOSER TOGETHER. >>AMEN. 25:51 >>GOD IS LOVE AND IF HE IS THE CENTER OF OUR LIVES, HE WILL 25:56 DRAW OUR HEARTS TOGETHER AND OUR FAMILIES AND OUR MARRIAGES. 26:00 DO NOT LET THE WORLD DEFINE WHAT MARRIAGE FOR YOU. 26:03 GOD HAS GIVEN US A DEFINITION, AMEN? 26:04 >>AMEN. >>STAY TUNED, PASTOR DOUG WILL 26:07 BE RIGHT BACK WITH THIS WEEK'S SPECIAL FREE OFFER. 26:13 >>DEEP WITHIN THE PAGES OF THE BIBLE, STORIES OF GREAT HEROES - 26:18 HEROES OF GREAT DEEDS - GREAT LOVE AND GREAT SACRIFICE. 26:26 BUT BEHIND THEM IS ANOTHER HERO. HIDDEN IN PLAIN SIGHT AMID THE 26:32 SHADOWS, HE WAS THERE FROM THE BEGINNING AND HE'LL BE 26:38 THERE UNTIL THE END. DISCOVER THE GOLDEN THREAD OF 26:43 A SAVIOR WOVEN THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE BIBLE TAPESTRY. 26:49 SHADOWS OF LIGHT: SEEING JESUS IN ALL THE BIBLE - A NEW BOOK BY 26:56 DOUG BATCHELOR. GET YOUR COPY TODAY BY 26:59 CALLING 800-538-7275 OR VISIT AFBOOKSTORE.COM . 27:05 ONCE AGAIN, TO PURCHASE YOUR COPY OF SHADOWS OF LIGHT CALL 27:08 800-538-7275. (MUSIC) 27:12 >>CONGRATULATIONS - YOU'RE RETIRED. 27:15 A TIME TO ENJOY WITH FRIENDS, FAMILY, AND GOD, BUT SOMETIMES, 27:19 WITH RETIREMENT COMES ANXIETY ABOUT FUTURE INCOME AND 27:22 FRUSTRATING LIMITATIONS ON OUR ABILITY TO HELP IN MINISTRY. 27:26 WELL, AMAZING FACTS HAS AN OPPORTUNITY TO HELP ON BOTH 27:29 FRONTS. WITH A CHARITABLE GIFT ANNUITY 27:30 FROM AMAZING FACTS, YOU CAN ASSURE YOURSELF OF A STEADY 27:33 INCOME THROUGHOUT YOUR LIFE AND ADVANCE MINISTRY AND 27:36 EVANGELISM AROUND THE WORLD. WHY NOT CALL TODAY? 27:44 >>TOGETHER WE HAVE SPREAD THE GOSPEL MUCH FARTHER THAN EVER 27:48 BEFORE. THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT. 28:00 >>ONE OF THE MOST COMMON QUESTIONS WE GETERE AT AMAZING 28:02 FACTS IS REGARDING TROUBLED MARRIAGES. 28:05 PEOPLE ARE STRUGGLING IN THEIR FAMILIES. 28:08 WE KNOW ABOUT HALF OF THE AMERICAN MARRIAGES END IN 28:10 DIVORCE. DOES THE BIBLE OFFER SOME ANSWERS? ABSOLUTELY. 28:14 IN THE SCRIPTURES, THERE ARE KEYS TO MAKE A GOOD MARRIAGE 28:16 BETTER AND TO HELP REDEEM AND SALVAGE A TROUBLED MARRIAGE. 28:20 WE'D LIKE TO SEND YOU THIS SPECIAL STUDY GUIDE, 28:22 KEYS FOR A HAPPY MARRIAGE . 28:24 YOU'LL LOOK AT THE SCRIPTURES HERE THAT WILL REALLY GIVE YOU 28:27 THE POWER TO DO SOME PRACTICAL THINGS TO INSPIRE, ENCOURAGE, 28:30 HEAL, AND STRENGTHEN YOUR MARRIAGES. 28:33 TO GET YOUR FREE COPY, GO TO AMAZINGFACTS.ORG OR CALL THE 28:38 NUMBER ON YOUR SCREEN AND ASK FOR OFFER #164. 28:42 AND FRIENDS, WHEN YOU RECEIVE THIS FREE RESOURCE, PLEASE READ 28:44 IT AND THEN SHARE IT WITH A FRIEND. 28:47 WE WANT TO GET THE WORD OUT BECAUSE GOD'S MESSAGE IS OUR 28:49 MISSION. (MUSIC) 29:00 >>IS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THIS 29:02 WEEK'S SPECIAL FREE OFFER. THERE IS NO COST OR OBLIGATION. 29:06 JUST CALL THE TOLL-FREE NUMBER ON YOUR SCREEN AND BE SURE TO 29:09 NOTE THE OFFER NUMBER WHEN YOU MAKE YOUR REQUEST. 29:22 >>THIS PRESENTATION WAS BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE FRIENDS OF THE 29:24 AMAZING FACTS MINISTRY. |
Revised 2016-01-21