A good father
takes time to play.
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He has strong integrity.
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He is someone that
is truly dedicated.
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He is not afraid
to show his love.
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He is a caring provider.
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And he is a kind
spiritual leader.
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These are just a few ways
to describe a father's heart.
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Hi, welcome to A Father's Heart.
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I'm your host, Xavier.
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And today, we're
gonna be discussing
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how to save our
young men from violence,
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you know, in a society
that we live in nowadays,
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it seems like all
our youth are out there
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killing each other.
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And you know, we need
to find out as fathers
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what we can do to
help this to stop.
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And with me to
discuss that are my friends
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Gordon and Paul.
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How are you guys today?
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We're doing good. Blessed, man.
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Good to be here. Awesome.
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So culturally, ethnically,
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in every kind of
aspect you look at it,
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we have our young men
just killing each other.
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What can we do as
fathers to prevent this?
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You know, obviously it
might not stop because of sin,
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but at least what
can we do to help?
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I think it starts with
observing our current culture.
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My earlier
years, '70s, '80s, '90s
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when I was on the street,
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it seemed more something
related to the urban community,
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and especially
communities of poverty.
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And there was, somewhat,
an ethnic divide in a sense,
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you know, for
Afro-Americans, more Latinos,
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people who are in
communities of poverty.
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Now it's far more pervasive.
It's become a culture.
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Its music, it's in many
different forms of media.
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And it's actually
hip to be violent.
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It's not just a group of people
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that are
reacting or being violent
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because of a need of survival.
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So we have to
address the culture itself
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even as it pertains
to our home environment
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with our children,
especially our sons,
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what they're seeing
and what they're learning
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from that cultural violence,
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in terms of how it helps
them to find themselves as men,
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and how it reinforces their
sense of security in society.
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There's a lot
that I can share about
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where I fail as a teenager,
and what I misunderstood,
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that drew me
more and more and more
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into this lifestyle of violence.
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I tell you, when I
started pastoring in Chicago,
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it was quite eye opener
for me, talking about the music
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which I believe
contribute a lot to it.
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Realizing that the music
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that the young
folks were listening to,
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it was so toxic.
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Basically, we had a huge...
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One Sabbath
afternoon, we did this program,
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and we literally
buried all of their stuff,
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the CDs that they brought,
the music that they brought.
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I mean, what they
were listening to was,
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you know, this violent music,
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it really pushes down my belief
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to this attitude,
this behavior of violence.
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So I do believe that
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the music plays a
very important role in it.
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I also believe at
least for where...
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In my demographics, in
my community that I pastor,
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it's a fact that they need food,
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there's a lack in the home
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where the parent is not parent,
and the father is not there.
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They've been
raised by single mothers,
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and the single
mothers are working.
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And so these young
kids are home by themselves.
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And then they get into the gangs
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that are on the street.
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And it's because there's
a lack of parental guidance,
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that's one of the big things
that I find that is propelling
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and it's pushing this
violence from our young people.
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Some of them, they economically,
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there's no food in the home.
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You know, so they go out
and they steal and they rob.
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There's a saying that says,
you know, we just got to bite.
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Simply meaning
that they're gonna eat,
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and they don't care
what they have to do to eat.
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I have, you know,
been to a lot of funerals,
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I funeralize a lot of them,
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and I'm just really
sick of what's happening
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but the issue is parents,
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the parents have
lost control in the homes.
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You know, that is a great point
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'cause I see
that in our churches,
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it seems like
nowadays, send our kids
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or people send their
kids to church or to school
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to learn about God,
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and the parents
just kind of leave it up
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to the pastors
to do it, you know.
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And I have a problem with that,
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because the
Bible doesn't say that.
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The Bible doesn't say,
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send your kids off to
church and church school,
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and go ahead, and
they do all the work.
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You got to do the work too,
so I agree with that, you know.
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But what are some
of the other things
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such as mentorship, you know?
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For example, I've
mentored a lot of kids.
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I remember a group of kids
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that I was talking
to in a high school,
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and just helping
them with their homework.
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And one young man,
African-American said to me,
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you know, "I don't want
to do this college thing,
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because I can go
to jail in California,
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and get three
square meals a day,
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and play hoops,
and lift weights."
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And all of us
kind of looked at him.
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I looked at him like,
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"Well, you sound
like you need a whipping.
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You got no sense, none.
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I'm gonna need you
to go find that sense."
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But obviously I didn't say
that but internally I'm like,
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I wonder what
he's lacking at home.
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You know, what can we do as men,
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obviously at leadership roles,
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but as well as lay members,
as a church, man, as a church
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'cause church is not a building,
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it's a way of life.
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What can we do to
help our young men?
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Sure.
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It starts with ensuring that
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you have a home
environment that's structured.
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So I think for those of us here,
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and most of our religious peer,
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we may not be facing
the same exact challenge
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because we are responsible
and accountable fathers
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in our home,
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maintaining the
type of structure
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and the type of relationship
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that will more than likely
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provide the correct nurture
for our sons or our daughters
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so that they make
the right choices.
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And most of us have now been
removed from that environment.
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So for those of us
that are still there
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and for those of us that don't
have that type of structure,
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it helps for us to start with
understanding scientifically
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what we're dealing with.
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So I'm gonna try to
break this down for you
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a little bit from
even my own experience,
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professionally as
well as what I lived
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as an at risk teen.
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So it starts with
status, it starts with status.
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There are varied
groups in the street
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that subscribe to violence
and that type of lifestyle.
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The minority are
those who are doing it
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because they
actually see no other choice.
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And I had friends like that.
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Say, within the particular
group I was running with,
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just say any number of
five or six kids, right?
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And there, we got a little gang,
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and we're gang
banging or whatever have you.
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There may be one or two of us
within the group who don't know
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where they're
sleeping the next night,
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they're from house to house.
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They don't know
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what type of
meal they're getting,
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they didn't know
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when they would get
their next set of clothing.
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So for them, it was an
actual effort to survive.
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And so when we ran
out, or they ran out
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and did bad
things and rob people
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and this kind of
stuff, they were...
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As far as they were considered,
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doing it as a
material necessity.
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Then there are others,
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who they were from a
proper home environment,
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so to speak or at least,
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do have parent home environment.
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But we're all
living in Brooklyn,
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we all live in East Flatbush.
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They have the
mother and the father,
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they're both working.
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Their parents have
income, both parents have cars,
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etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.
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They're packing
pistols, they're selling weed,
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they're doing everything
everybody else is doing.
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And they're also getting into
situations of violent conflict.
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And then you have
those like myself who...
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My physical needs
were being met as far as
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food, clothing, and shelter.
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But then, my challenge was like
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Pastor Gordon said
here a little earlier.
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My mom when I got to the
US, my mom had four jobs, four.
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My mom was working
three jobs during the week
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and a job on the weekend.
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And so I would see my
mom or hear her at times.
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I would hear her get into
home maybe like, around 1:00 am,
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and then before I would wake,
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when I got up at 7 o'clock
to get dressed to go to school,
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my junior high school
is just across the street.
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Cereal and some milk
will be on the table,
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some toasted bread
and something like that.
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And my mom would not be there,
she'd already left for work.
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So we have this
culture where they call,
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you know, latchkey children,
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you know, and
so on and so forth.
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But my challenge was being able
to survive within the culture
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of those who had the
immediate need to survive
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because they
pray on everyone else.
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So then you get into
this cultural struggle
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where it becomes a
need to elevate status.
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And if there's one word I could
pull out of that drug culture,
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that violent culture,
that survival culture,
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it's the word status.
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For us, it was like
being in the military.
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And you've been
in law enforcement,
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you know how it is.
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And there are different ranks.
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You're able to meander
your way through the community
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and through the
society in a safe manner
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relative to your rank.
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When you get
there, you're a private,
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you're a nobody, you're a peon.
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You're like a civilian.
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And you can victimized by
anybody else of a higher rank.
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And so as you run the streets,
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you're basically
working towards helping yourself
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move up those ranks
from a private to a sergeant
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to a lieutenant to
a general to a brigade
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or whatever, you know,
in the military language.
00:10:02.83\00:10:05.07
Here's what happened often.
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Some kids will start
off as civilians or private
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and then one day, they just,
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"Okay, you know
what, I'm sick of this.
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I want to be a general."
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So then we had status symbols,
we had symbols that identified
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where we stood
within that rankings.
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So in my days,
some of the clothings
00:10:20.92\00:10:24.42
were Puma shoes,
you know, Adidas shoes,
00:10:24.45\00:10:27.02
shell toe Adidas,
black and silver Puma,
00:10:27.06\00:10:29.49
British Walkers, Wallabies,
00:10:29.52\00:10:32.16
and Ballys and
these types shoes.
00:10:32.19\00:10:34.00
Those were styles
then. We got killed for them.
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Lee jeans, Lee's
jacket and leather coats,
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leather bomber,
sheep skin coats,
00:10:38.93\00:10:41.04
what's also
called shearling coat,
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last but not least,
00:10:43.17\00:10:44.51
jewelry of
whatever form and type.
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Now if you're a general,
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you're stepping
off with all of that,
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your jewelry, your
rings, your sheep skin coats,
00:10:49.48\00:10:51.61
your leather bomber, whatever.
00:10:51.65\00:10:53.05
And for sure, you have
a gun, you have a firearm
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'cause you got
to protect yourself.
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So a lot of these kids were
not involved in drug trafficking
00:10:58.19\00:11:00.99
or anything like that.
00:11:01.02\00:11:02.36
But they just got caught up in
the whole status symbol thing.
00:11:02.39\00:11:04.76
Then those of us who got
there through 100 fights,
00:11:04.79\00:11:09.40
going to jail,
getting arrested repeatedly,
00:11:09.43\00:11:12.00
getting your head
busted open in a fight,
00:11:12.03\00:11:13.94
getting your teeth
knocked out in a fight,
00:11:13.97\00:11:16.40
using whatever type drugs,
00:11:16.44\00:11:18.01
you know, you really
ran the rock you rode,
00:11:18.04\00:11:21.78
and you paid a price for it.
00:11:21.81\00:11:23.85
Here you see someone
that you knew were a private,
00:11:23.88\00:11:26.05
or you could just sense it.
00:11:26.08\00:11:28.15
And here they are presenting
themselves to the general,
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then we would go and
hold them at gunpoint
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and rob them.
00:11:32.95\00:11:34.29
And in some unfortunate cases,
injure that person fatally
00:11:34.32\00:11:38.23
because we were
offended that they have made
00:11:38.26\00:11:41.03
the wrong
progress within the status.
00:11:41.06\00:11:43.00
It's still going on today.
00:11:43.03\00:11:44.47
A lot of the Chicago
gang wars, Brooklyn gang wars,
00:11:44.50\00:11:48.84
they have the added
component of drug trafficking
00:11:48.87\00:11:52.07
and that being the new status.
00:11:52.11\00:11:54.01
But it has a
lot to do with that.
00:11:54.04\00:11:55.44
Then you hear in on
news, oh, this kid got killed
00:11:55.48\00:11:58.01
and he got
killed for five dollars.
00:11:58.05\00:12:00.08
And these people, how
could they rob and murder
00:12:00.12\00:12:02.38
this kid for five dollars.
00:12:02.42\00:12:03.75
It had nothing to do
with the five dollars.
00:12:03.79\00:12:05.22
Or you got killed
for your sneakers,
00:12:05.25\00:12:06.59
or you killed for your coat.
00:12:06.62\00:12:07.96
It had less to do with that
00:12:07.99\00:12:09.49
than what it had to do with
this sense of attaining status
00:12:09.52\00:12:12.83
so you can
survive in the community.
00:12:12.86\00:12:14.33
And another
component to that is,
00:12:14.36\00:12:16.67
even now, it's a
little different in some ways
00:12:16.70\00:12:20.64
because along with the status,
00:12:20.67\00:12:23.30
you used to have
the different gangs,
00:12:23.34\00:12:25.84
different block gangs.
00:12:25.87\00:12:27.51
Now what is happening is that
if you're on the same block,
00:12:27.54\00:12:31.81
you have one gang member
00:12:31.85\00:12:34.35
and have an
opposing gang member.
00:12:34.38\00:12:36.75
But once you on that
block, they become one.
00:12:36.79\00:12:39.89
And so it is very
much more complex now
00:12:39.92\00:12:43.39
for the law enforcement.
00:12:43.43\00:12:44.76
Because you know
that on this block,
00:12:44.79\00:12:47.00
you got one gang
member, you have another one,
00:12:47.03\00:12:49.90
you have another one
from different gangs,
00:12:49.93\00:12:52.00
but once anyone
come in on that block,
00:12:52.03\00:12:56.30
they come together
and protect the block.
00:12:56.34\00:12:58.94
So there's no longer,
you know, within this...
00:12:58.97\00:13:02.88
And what you're sharing here,
what Gordon is sharing here is
00:13:02.91\00:13:06.21
there's a difference between...
00:13:06.25\00:13:07.58
We actually didn't have gangs.
00:13:07.62\00:13:09.12
I got to the US
to Brooklyn in '77,
00:13:09.15\00:13:11.89
and the gangs
were just dying out.
00:13:11.92\00:13:13.56
I saw the last of the
Brooklyn gangs by 1978,
00:13:13.59\00:13:16.56
Cats, Pumas, Jolly Stompers,
Warriors, all these groups,
00:13:16.59\00:13:20.66
I saw them walking around
with their jackets and all that.
00:13:20.70\00:13:22.86
And then by '78, it was done.
00:13:22.90\00:13:25.70
The gang culture died off.
00:13:25.73\00:13:27.07
And what evolved in
after that is something,
00:13:27.10\00:13:29.20
for us Caribbean
street guys, the posse.
00:13:29.24\00:13:32.57
And a posse is quite
different from a gang.
00:13:32.61\00:13:34.94
A gang was a close
specific group of people
00:13:34.98\00:13:38.15
with allegiance in that sense.
00:13:38.18\00:13:39.65
A posse, you're not
necessarily connected like that,
00:13:39.68\00:13:42.72
you're coming
together for a common good.
00:13:42.75\00:13:44.85
The same way it was in the West.
00:13:44.89\00:13:46.82
So there would be
some needs, some violence,
00:13:46.86\00:13:49.09
and then the posse
would come together
00:13:49.12\00:13:50.46
and go hunt somebody
down or whatever have you,
00:13:50.49\00:13:52.36
protect the
village, whatever have you.
00:13:52.39\00:13:54.20
Same thing in the streets today.
00:13:54.23\00:13:55.70
And a posse is very loose.
00:13:55.73\00:13:57.70
So as I'm saying, they come
together for a specific purpose
00:13:57.73\00:14:00.54
but they're not really a gang
00:14:00.57\00:14:02.07
in the sense of this tight
knitted union and all of that.
00:14:02.10\00:14:04.81
And all of that being
said, let's go back to the home.
00:14:04.84\00:14:08.11
And those of us who
have sons especially,
00:14:08.14\00:14:11.11
and we are in the
urban environment,
00:14:11.15\00:14:13.88
please, please, spend time
devotionally with your child.
00:14:13.92\00:14:18.25
Yes.
00:14:18.29\00:14:19.62
And help to build and instill
in your child a sense of value.
00:14:19.65\00:14:24.03
Teach your children
the difference between
00:14:24.06\00:14:26.09
the value of esteem and
the value of self worth.
00:14:26.13\00:14:31.03
See, if they are pursuing life
00:14:31.07\00:14:34.17
based on the
objective of self esteem,
00:14:34.20\00:14:36.67
then they are far more
vulnerable to that culture.
00:14:36.71\00:14:39.77
That's how it
sucked me in because, then,
00:14:39.81\00:14:42.54
I basically used that
same status symbol culture
00:14:42.58\00:14:47.45
to identify myself in value.
00:14:47.48\00:14:49.88
Because if I can
wear a sheep skin coat,
00:14:49.92\00:14:52.19
wear a certain
amount of jewelry,
00:14:52.22\00:14:53.69
and when I
stepped on a city bus,
00:14:53.72\00:14:55.06
even though I
was only like about
00:14:55.09\00:14:56.42
5'6" or something like that,
00:14:56.46\00:14:58.36
people just got out my way
00:14:58.39\00:14:59.93
because the status
symbol said something.
00:14:59.96\00:15:02.53
One, it said that I was armed.
00:15:02.56\00:15:04.27
Two, it said that if
I could go across town
00:15:04.30\00:15:07.57
from East Flatbush to Bushwick,
00:15:07.60\00:15:11.91
to Bed-Stuyvesant
and back to Kings Plaza,
00:15:11.94\00:15:14.44
wherever, and I
haven't been robbed.
00:15:14.48\00:15:16.21
I must be some bad dude.
00:15:16.24\00:15:18.01
Nobody would troll me
00:15:18.05\00:15:19.48
until I would get into
an environment as I said
00:15:19.51\00:15:22.38
where there were a
bunch of other generals
00:15:22.42\00:15:23.92
that didn't know me,
00:15:23.95\00:15:25.29
then they had
to test my ranking.
00:15:25.32\00:15:26.76
And I had to do
one of two things.
00:15:26.79\00:15:28.12
Defend myself, or be victimized.
00:15:28.16\00:15:31.09
But we have to take time
to instill in our children
00:15:31.13\00:15:36.33
that sense of self
worth, and that starts with
00:15:36.36\00:15:39.50
who we are in the eyes of God,
00:15:39.53\00:15:41.97
not who we are in
the eyes of street.
00:15:42.00\00:15:44.41
Now he and I
are perfect example.
00:15:44.44\00:15:47.44
So you heard the
details of my home environment.
00:15:47.48\00:15:52.25
We grew up in the
same neighborhood.
00:15:52.28\00:15:54.45
At one point, we
went to the same church.
00:15:54.48\00:15:57.52
I left the
church in about age 13.
00:15:57.55\00:16:00.02
And I fell deeply into street
violence and gang violence
00:16:00.06\00:16:03.36
and this kind of stuff.
00:16:03.39\00:16:04.73
I would still visit
Brooklyn Faith on occasion.
00:16:04.76\00:16:08.40
And people, you know,
00:16:08.43\00:16:10.43
pray for our
youth, pray for our youth.
00:16:10.47\00:16:13.94
I cannot stress that
with any greater passion
00:16:13.97\00:16:17.67
than I am here today is
what helped me to be here today.
00:16:17.71\00:16:22.84
I was a charter member
of Brooklyn Faith Church.
00:16:22.88\00:16:25.61
There is still a plaque
somewhere in that church
00:16:25.65\00:16:27.78
with the original eight members,
00:16:27.82\00:16:29.88
started in the basement
of 52nd street in Brooklyn,
00:16:29.92\00:16:33.12
my name and my sister's
name are on that plaque.
00:16:33.15\00:16:36.46
So people in the church...
00:16:36.49\00:16:38.59
I get into the church now,
00:16:38.63\00:16:39.96
just come from South America
of about age 10, 11, '76, '77,
00:16:40.00\00:16:45.07
people remembered
me as a little kid.
00:16:45.10\00:16:47.37
And I went from that,
once I reach about age 13.
00:16:47.40\00:16:51.17
One morning, I told
my mom, "Look, I'm done."
00:16:51.21\00:16:53.91
And the reason why,
00:16:53.94\00:16:55.28
it was the pressures of
the street were getting to me.
00:16:55.31\00:16:58.01
Only thing I could see through
the portals of my eye was,
00:16:58.05\00:17:00.58
I'm going to die.
00:17:00.62\00:17:02.28
I've got to learn
how to survive on my own.
00:17:02.32\00:17:04.22
I have no father,
I got no big brother,
00:17:04.25\00:17:06.15
no cousin, no nothing,
and I'm short, and I'm skinny.
00:17:06.19\00:17:09.16
And I see people
getting victimized
00:17:09.19\00:17:10.99
in front of me daily.
00:17:11.03\00:17:12.86
I would stand up,
oh, here comes two guys,
00:17:12.89\00:17:15.36
they put a gun on me,
put a gun on my friend
00:17:15.40\00:17:17.83
before I got into the status
symbols so but my friend was.
00:17:17.87\00:17:20.60
They take your sneakers off,
00:17:20.64\00:17:21.97
we got to walk home
in the snow, bare footed,
00:17:22.00\00:17:24.14
you know, he's bleeding,
blood all over his chest
00:17:24.17\00:17:27.14
and his chest from
being pistol whipped
00:17:27.18\00:17:28.84
when the guys were
robbing him of the sneakers.
00:17:28.88\00:17:31.45
I keep seeing stuff
like that, and I decided,
00:17:31.48\00:17:33.28
"Look, kill or be killed.
I'm not gonna be a victim."
00:17:33.31\00:17:36.28
So then I became
a tough guy myself.
00:17:36.32\00:17:38.55
And I stared walking that
road, I stopped going to church.
00:17:38.59\00:17:41.39
People from the church would
see me at times or visit the
00:17:41.42\00:17:44.23
house, plead with me,
00:17:44.26\00:17:46.39
"Please come back to church.
Please come back to church."
00:17:46.43\00:17:48.56
My mom tried.
00:17:48.60\00:17:49.93
I had conversations with
my mom on weird occasions.
00:17:49.96\00:17:52.13
She's there, praying, crying.
00:17:52.17\00:17:53.50
Her candles, her
little shrine in the corner,
00:17:53.54\00:17:55.34
praying for me every day.
00:17:55.37\00:17:57.37
And one morning, I
went over to mother,
00:17:57.41\00:17:58.74
she was praying,
00:17:58.77\00:18:00.11
and I knelt down
to pray with her.
00:18:00.14\00:18:01.48
And she said...
00:18:01.51\00:18:02.84
I said to her, "Ma,
you just don't understand."
00:18:02.88\00:18:04.75
You know, my mom at
that time even knew that
00:18:04.78\00:18:07.12
I was armed daily.
00:18:07.15\00:18:09.05
And she turned
to me and she said,
00:18:09.08\00:18:10.42
"You're going out
there with weapons,
00:18:10.45\00:18:11.79
I know you're carrying weapons."
00:18:11.82\00:18:13.56
I said, "Mom, if I don't..."
00:18:13.59\00:18:15.02
I mean, I come home
one afternoon, you know.
00:18:15.06\00:18:17.46
And I pray with my mother
00:18:17.49\00:18:18.83
and I went to
school as regular that day.
00:18:18.86\00:18:20.80
Yes, with a gun
in my coat, you know.
00:18:20.83\00:18:24.40
So even to the point
00:18:24.43\00:18:26.00
where I would run into members
of the church in one occasion,
00:18:26.03\00:18:30.21
and the husband
grabbed his wife.
00:18:30.24\00:18:33.24
This was late, one evening
00:18:33.27\00:18:34.61
I was coming
home from somewhere.
00:18:34.64\00:18:35.98
Grabbed his
wife, I recognized him,
00:18:36.01\00:18:38.08
and I started to
approach them to greet them.
00:18:38.11\00:18:40.82
When I got closer
to them, I realized,
00:18:40.85\00:18:42.88
these people
were so terror-struck.
00:18:42.92\00:18:45.75
The man before I
could greet them,
00:18:45.79\00:18:47.82
he said, "We, we, we,
we, we don't want any...
00:18:47.86\00:18:50.13
We don't have any
money... Here, here, here."
00:18:50.16\00:18:52.03
And started going to his
pocket to take out his wallet.
00:18:52.06\00:18:55.06
And I said, you
know, making up in the air,
00:18:55.10\00:18:57.27
"Brother Brown, it's me Paul,
00:18:57.30\00:19:00.30
Sister Lowe's son from
Brooklyn Faith," you know.
00:19:00.34\00:19:03.81
He said, "Paul, from
where?" I said, "Yeah.
00:19:03.84\00:19:06.68
Well, I don't go there no more,
00:19:06.71\00:19:08.04
but I used to go,
I remember ya'll."
00:19:08.08\00:19:09.41
"Oh, Lord Jesus!
Thank you Jesus."
00:19:09.44\00:19:11.38
Because they thought I
was coming to rob them.
00:19:11.41\00:19:13.68
So, you know, we have
to do that work of prayer,
00:19:13.72\00:19:18.42
that church never
stopped praying for me.
00:19:18.45\00:19:21.62
Through my arrests,
and my court trials,
00:19:21.66\00:19:25.53
and being hospitalized for
this or for that, whatever,
00:19:25.56\00:19:28.40
people would always come
visit me in the hospital,
00:19:28.43\00:19:31.03
people would always
pray with my mother before...
00:19:31.07\00:19:33.27
if I had a legal infraction
and all this kind of stuff.
00:19:33.30\00:19:36.24
It makes a difference.
00:19:36.27\00:19:37.61
But as I said,
it's that foundation
00:19:37.64\00:19:39.67
of building a
healthy, not esteemed,
00:19:39.71\00:19:42.04
but self worth in your child.
00:19:42.08\00:19:44.45
If you victimize your
child yourself in the home,
00:19:44.48\00:19:46.92
if you're the type of
father that's a bully,
00:19:46.95\00:19:49.55
and you strip your
son of all his self worth,
00:19:49.58\00:19:52.79
because you're
constantly domineering him,
00:19:52.82\00:19:55.89
it's not gonna help.
00:19:55.92\00:19:57.26
You can lose him
to the street that way
00:19:57.29\00:19:59.19
because he'll go
find value somewhere else.
00:19:59.23\00:20:02.13
Or likewise, if
that is absent, period,
00:20:02.16\00:20:04.43
because there is
no father in the home,
00:20:04.47\00:20:06.57
we face that same challenge.
00:20:06.60\00:20:07.94
So those of us who are able,
00:20:07.97\00:20:09.74
you said the
magic word, mentorship.
00:20:09.77\00:20:12.07
Let's ensure that we mentor
00:20:12.11\00:20:14.04
the youth of our
church and our community,
00:20:14.08\00:20:16.88
those of us who are fathers
00:20:16.91\00:20:18.78
who can make that difference.
00:20:18.81\00:20:20.52
And even at Brooklyn Faith,
same church, as a young person,
00:20:20.55\00:20:25.15
I was a Pathfinder director
00:20:25.19\00:20:26.52
leading a group of young people,
00:20:26.55\00:20:29.66
and that's
probably what I was...
00:20:29.69\00:20:31.03
That's what I was doing,
00:20:31.06\00:20:32.39
just trying to mentor
them the best way that I could.
00:20:32.43\00:20:35.43
You know, we see
Paul come in and slip out.
00:20:35.46\00:20:39.60
But I was amazed to
see the transformation
00:20:39.63\00:20:41.70
that happened later on in life
00:20:41.74\00:20:43.14
when we got
connected back together.
00:20:43.17\00:20:45.31
But mentorship,
praying for your kids,
00:20:45.34\00:20:48.38
covering your kids with
prayer before they leave home,
00:20:48.41\00:20:51.11
when they come
home and teach them
00:20:51.15\00:20:52.88
to actually
have a life of prayer
00:20:52.91\00:20:56.12
as they're on the street
00:20:56.15\00:20:57.49
because amazing what's
happening on the streets
00:20:57.52\00:20:59.32
with our young people.
00:20:59.35\00:21:00.89
I talk to some of
them on a regular basis
00:21:00.92\00:21:04.33
'cause I still as a
pastor, mentor some of them,
00:21:04.36\00:21:07.06
the things that
they are doing is just...
00:21:07.10\00:21:10.30
I can't even begin to
talk about some of the things
00:21:10.33\00:21:11.97
that they are doing.
00:21:12.00\00:21:13.34
It blows my mind,
00:21:13.37\00:21:14.70
but they keep me abreast
of what's happening out there.
00:21:14.74\00:21:17.74
And because of
that, I kind of help...
00:21:17.77\00:21:21.24
I can be of a help to
some others by telling them,
00:21:21.28\00:21:25.15
"Listen, this is not the
road you want to go down."
00:21:25.18\00:21:28.48
So mentorship is important,
praying for kids is important,
00:21:28.52\00:21:31.62
building that self
worth as Pastor Lowe said,
00:21:31.65\00:21:33.96
it's absolutely important
00:21:33.99\00:21:36.96
in just to building our kids up.
00:21:36.99\00:21:38.39
Right.
00:21:38.43\00:21:39.76
I think, you know,
00:21:39.79\00:21:41.16
both of you brought
some key points, you know.
00:21:41.20\00:21:42.96
I heard the
number, teenage years,
00:21:43.00\00:21:45.30
12, 13 years old, you know,
00:21:45.33\00:21:47.20
and that's seems
to be a critical point
00:21:47.24\00:21:48.87
in a kid's life to
make a choice for Christ.
00:21:48.90\00:21:51.14
And Christ is not just
00:21:51.17\00:21:52.51
so you can be walking
around on a cloud and be holy,
00:21:52.54\00:21:55.34
it's to save you from yourself.
00:21:55.38\00:21:57.51
You know, God works to save
His children from themselves.
00:21:57.55\00:22:02.28
And the other
critical factor is that
00:22:02.32\00:22:03.92
it doesn't matter
what type of home you have.
00:22:03.95\00:22:06.62
In the sense of, you can
come from a single parent home
00:22:06.65\00:22:09.49
or you can come from a perfect,
00:22:09.52\00:22:11.13
you know, so to
speak two parent home,
00:22:11.16\00:22:13.16
Christians and everything
00:22:13.19\00:22:14.53
because that's
where I came from.
00:22:14.56\00:22:15.90
A two parent home,
Christians, devotion,
00:22:15.93\00:22:17.60
ate all the
vegetables, was super vegetarian
00:22:17.63\00:22:21.64
but I was never in a gang,
00:22:21.67\00:22:23.37
I was just a one man show
00:22:23.41\00:22:25.11
because I
turned into a Satanist.
00:22:25.14\00:22:27.88
I didn't need a
gang, I was my own gang.
00:22:27.91\00:22:29.24
Mercy, mercy.
00:22:29.28\00:22:31.51
You know, all I had
to say was the word,
00:22:31.55\00:22:33.95
and I became as they say,
00:22:33.98\00:22:35.32
you know the Bible says, legion.
00:22:35.35\00:22:37.82
And it feels to good
to have that power, right?
00:22:37.85\00:22:41.42
Mercy, mercy.
00:22:41.46\00:22:42.79
But, and that's what
we got to teach our youth
00:22:42.82\00:22:44.59
that even though it feels good,
00:22:44.63\00:22:46.63
you have no idea
what you're messing with.
00:22:46.66\00:22:49.66
You're going to die.
00:22:49.70\00:22:51.20
And it's not gonna
be a temporal death,
00:22:51.23\00:22:53.87
it's gonna be an eternal death.
00:22:53.90\00:22:56.77
It's not worth it. Yeah.
00:22:56.81\00:22:58.24
It's not.
00:22:58.27\00:22:59.97
And the other aspect that
00:23:00.01\00:23:02.08
I kind of saw
similarities at the fact that,
00:23:02.11\00:23:04.41
I think all of
us has shared that
00:23:04.45\00:23:05.95
we've all been
arrested at some point in time.
00:23:05.98\00:23:08.92
You know, we've
all been to jail.
00:23:08.95\00:23:10.29
It's not like we...
00:23:10.32\00:23:11.65
Somebody gave us a Bible here,
00:23:11.69\00:23:13.02
you're pastor
now, you're chaplain,
00:23:13.05\00:23:14.79
no we are all disciples,
messed up individuals.
00:23:14.82\00:23:20.50
You know, Peter
cut somebody's ear off,
00:23:20.53\00:23:23.50
Simon, you know, John
and James were, you know,
00:23:23.53\00:23:28.27
so like sailors probably
because they were fishermen.
00:23:28.30\00:23:31.61
You have Matthew
the tax collector,
00:23:31.64\00:23:32.97
you know, every single person,
every single follower of Christ
00:23:33.01\00:23:36.04
is not meant to be
this perfect example.
00:23:36.08\00:23:38.88
And I think as
fathers, with our kids
00:23:38.91\00:23:42.52
and with those that we see
in need of that discipleship,
00:23:42.55\00:23:46.22
we need to show
them our brokenness,
00:23:46.25\00:23:48.76
we need to show
them that we are fathers
00:23:48.79\00:23:51.66
but we are in leadership
00:23:51.69\00:23:53.56
but we're not this
holier than dove persona.
00:23:53.60\00:23:55.96
We've been there, we've done it,
00:23:56.00\00:23:57.60
we know what it's
like, and we know.
00:23:57.63\00:23:59.77
And God only saved us from
ourselves through His grace
00:23:59.80\00:24:03.00
so we can mentor others.
00:24:03.04\00:24:04.37
Amen.
00:24:04.41\00:24:05.74
That's one thing
that I do with my son is,
00:24:05.77\00:24:08.64
he knows his father's journey.
00:24:08.68\00:24:11.11
And he knows the
struggles of life.
00:24:11.15\00:24:15.72
But one thing that
I want to point out,
00:24:15.75\00:24:17.55
and it's an economic
thing also that plays into this,
00:24:17.59\00:24:22.06
a lot of
fathers don't have jobs,
00:24:22.09\00:24:24.59
and so they can't provide
as much as they would want to
00:24:24.63\00:24:27.70
for the young people.
00:24:27.73\00:24:29.33
And so when their sons
grew up and they started having,
00:24:29.36\00:24:33.90
you know, little ones,
00:24:33.94\00:24:35.67
they themselves or find
themselves in the economic fix.
00:24:35.70\00:24:38.81
As a church, what we have
done is that we've created
00:24:38.84\00:24:42.34
something that's called I
work Chicago, and thereby,
00:24:42.38\00:24:45.38
every year, we have
applicants over 900 plus
00:24:45.41\00:24:49.42
looking for work and we
have big jobs, huge job fairs
00:24:49.45\00:24:54.06
and resource center whereby
00:24:54.09\00:24:56.22
we point them and
help them find work.
00:24:56.26\00:24:59.86
If you don't have a job
and you're on the streets,
00:24:59.89\00:25:04.63
you're gonna stay in,
00:25:04.67\00:25:06.60
and you're gonna
get yourself in trouble.
00:25:06.63\00:25:08.50
So we have to
provide something for them.
00:25:08.54\00:25:12.34
And you know, we
can't depend on the guy.
00:25:12.37\00:25:14.31
I think the church is
a integral part of it,
00:25:14.34\00:25:16.75
we've got to come along side
these families, we've got...
00:25:16.78\00:25:19.81
For me, I'm the
pastor of my community,
00:25:19.85\00:25:22.02
I'm the pastor of the
entire city of Chicago.
00:25:22.05\00:25:26.12
You should be able
to come to my church,
00:25:26.15\00:25:28.62
and you'll be
able to find resources
00:25:28.66\00:25:30.76
whereby you can be
pointed to a job or something,
00:25:30.79\00:25:32.99
that's an important piece.
00:25:33.03\00:25:35.80
I know, we only
have about a minute left,
00:25:35.83\00:25:37.37
but I wanted to share quickly
also to keep in mind once again
00:25:37.40\00:25:42.17
what these new
status symbols are,
00:25:42.20\00:25:44.34
because they are
the distractions.
00:25:44.37\00:25:46.31
The old status symbols had
to do with being respected,
00:25:46.34\00:25:49.54
dressing well, being
esteemed in the street,
00:25:49.58\00:25:52.21
have a little bit of
money in your pocket.
00:25:52.25\00:25:53.68
The new status symbol is wealth,
00:25:53.72\00:25:55.75
and I mean extreme
wealth, extreme wealth.
00:25:55.78\00:25:58.85
And that's being fused
and nurtured by the media,
00:25:58.89\00:26:02.02
by the culture
especially, but many of us also.
00:26:02.06\00:26:05.96
So it's not just
having money in your pockets,
00:26:05.99\00:26:08.80
but having great
amount of money, right.
00:26:08.83\00:26:11.73
It's about
reaching the level of PhD
00:26:11.77\00:26:14.80
or some multi skilled
individuals, some CEO,
00:26:14.84\00:26:18.04
you know, hundreds
of thousands of dollars.
00:26:18.07\00:26:20.04
And which way can you
do that or accomplish that
00:26:20.08\00:26:22.74
if you live in an urban ghetto?
00:26:22.78\00:26:25.61
Drugs, murder for
hire, prostitution,
00:26:25.65\00:26:28.82
or whatever other
illicit practice, you know.
00:26:28.85\00:26:32.65
And God forbid, in the
past, I did near all of those
00:26:32.69\00:26:37.46
but you get your
hands on those things
00:26:37.49\00:26:39.46
and you're
building up your status
00:26:39.49\00:26:41.66
and your income
to be a high roller.
00:26:41.70\00:26:44.97
So once again, this
is where the self worth
00:26:45.00\00:26:48.97
and not esteem is important
for the nurture of our youth
00:26:49.00\00:26:52.17
and our church population.
00:26:52.21\00:26:53.78
And as Fraser said also
being part of a solution
00:26:53.81\00:26:56.28
by providing
education as paramount,
00:26:56.31\00:26:58.48
getting our
kids through college,
00:26:58.51\00:27:00.25
helping them to be degreed,
00:27:00.28\00:27:01.85
but also helping
them to engage occupations
00:27:01.88\00:27:05.59
that can provide them a
successful form of living,
00:27:05.62\00:27:08.96
and teaching them the
purpose that they're living for.
00:27:08.99\00:27:11.96
You're not living here to
satisfy and make yourself rich,
00:27:11.99\00:27:14.33
you're living here to be a
part of the kingdom of God.
00:27:14.36\00:27:17.37
And I appreciate that, guys.
00:27:17.40\00:27:18.73
And we got to pick this up again
00:27:18.77\00:27:20.10
'cause it's a deep topic.
00:27:20.14\00:27:21.94
And for you out there,
fathers, it's time to step up.
00:27:21.97\00:27:25.94
We keep saying that over
and over again because it is.
00:27:25.97\00:27:29.38
We in and of ourselves
don't have the perfect answers.
00:27:29.41\00:27:32.21
We really don't,
but it's time to step up
00:27:32.25\00:27:34.95
and be there for your children.
00:27:34.98\00:27:36.79
And if you don't have any kids,
00:27:36.82\00:27:38.35
be there for the kids
of the community, you know.
00:27:38.39\00:27:40.99
Stop taking out your phones
to video tape fights, you know.
00:27:41.02\00:27:45.96
Especially young
people, stop taking a video,
00:27:45.99\00:27:48.40
you know, your cell
phones out and taping fights,
00:27:48.43\00:27:50.77
it's not cool.
00:27:50.80\00:27:52.13
It doesn't help it, it just
contributes to the violence.
00:27:52.17\00:27:54.80
And fathers, again,
00:27:54.84\00:27:56.44
God calls you to
step up and step out,
00:27:56.47\00:27:59.07
it's time to do the right thing.
00:27:59.11\00:28:00.64
Thank you for watching.
00:28:00.68\00:28:02.01