A good father
takes time to play.
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He has strong integrity.
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He is someone that
is truly dedicated.
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He is not afraid
to show his love.
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He is a caring provider.
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And he is a kind
spiritual leader.
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These are just a few ways
to describe a father's heart.
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Hi and welcome
to A Father's Heart.
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I'm your host Xavier.
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And today, we're
going to be discussing
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the financial hardships
or being broke as a father
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and those kind of things
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that are burdensome
on a father's shoulders.
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And today, to speak about
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this is my
friends Gordon and Denry.
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How are you guys
doing? Doing great.
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We're doing great, man.
Blessed and highly favored.
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All right.
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You know, there's
a lot of hardships
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that families go through,
there's a lot of hardships
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and a lot of things that
are ingrained into us as,
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you know, young
kids and into adulthood,
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and that is the sense of
being a provider for a family.
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Yeah.
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How do we instill
some of those values
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or how do we even
begin to make sense
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of what it's
like to be a provider
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and while being broke
and not having any money?
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Well, let me redefine.
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I want to just
redefine one word.
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I don't call it broke
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'cause I'm never broke
'cause I'm a child of the King.
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That's right.
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And because I'm a
child of the King,
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I know who to go to
when I need something.
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So for me, as a father,
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my children see that part of me
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that I'm always praying
and sharing openly with them
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about our financial situation
and what we're going through,
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what we need,
you know, we sit down
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and I'm a big
believer in budget.
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So I would just
literally show them,
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"Okay, this is how we budget."
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My wife on the other
hand, you know, she is okay.
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You set the budget up
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and she will kind
of do her own thing,
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but that's all right.
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But any...
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And the important
thing, I think, as a father,
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being able to show your children
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the real struggles of finances
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because money is not something
that you can just let fly
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'cause if you don't
handle it, it will handle you.
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I mean that's so...
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That's just my take on it.
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I don't know what
Denry has to offer here.
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I'm not as sanctified as Gordon.
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I've been broke.
I mean, I'm blessed.
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Yes. But I've been broke.
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So you're not
broke, you're blessed.
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Blessed and broke.
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Broke transition into bless,
whatever you want to call it.
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But I know the taste of
the venom of being broke
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and it hurts, even as a pastor.
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You know, my wife is
not working right now,
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she's a student in college,
my children are in school,
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and taking on that burden
of preparing, making sure that,
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one, they can go to
school, they have food at home,
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so we have to buy
the food, all right?
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The bills are
paid, the lights are on.
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You know, that
consumes a lot of your income.
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And so there's been times
when we had rice and beans.
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We had rice and
bean meals for days,
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you know, we had
some ramen noodles
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or those kind of
things because...
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It's been what...
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Now we've never missed a meal,
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so this is where the
blessing part comes in.
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Never missed a meal,
the lights never went off,
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never got
ejected out of our house,
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and all those things.
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Two cars, this
year, the Lord provided
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and also our
children pay for school,
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my wife pay for school.
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You see what I'm saying?
So this is what I'm saying.
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Yes, I might feel
broke, but yes, I'm blessed
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because God just
takes the little bit
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that we have and
he just blesses it
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and covers in so much
demographics that I'm like...
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You're right.
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I might feel broke
but I'm truly blessed.
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The blessings, you know...
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I had to share a
quick story with you.
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When I first got
married so many years ago,
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just God's goodness and God's...
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My lights were off.
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You know, my son
was about four years old
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and I got home from
work and we had no lights
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and, you know,
everything is on electric,
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the stove, everything.
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So we couldn't cook,
we couldn't do anything,
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and I'm like, "Man, oh."
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And I'm frustrated.
I said, "Not again."
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So I put my son in
the back of the car
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and I'm gonna drive
to one of the restaurants
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and just get
something so that he can eat.
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And I am literally
fussing with God as I'm driving.
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"God, I'm serving you.
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God, I'm doing all of this,
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and here I am, in this position.
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And, you know, I'm
working, my wife is working."
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I'm just fussing with God.
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And I drove
into the parking lot,
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and, you know, tears,
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I'm angry, I
want to just give up.
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You know, I don't know
if you've ever been there,
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just want to give up.
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And at the back...
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In the back of the car seat,
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I heard, "Oh, yes, He cares.
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I know He cares."
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Mercy. My four-year old.
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Wow.
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I nearly crashed a car
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as I pulled into
that parking lot.
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Wow.
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And I stopped the car
and I said, "Wait a minute.
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This is my son
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and here is God
answering me through him,
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telling me that He cares."
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And I'll tell
you, from that there,
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I got a different perspective
of my God and, as a father,
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how He deals with me.
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Yeah. You know, through my son.
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I mean, I'll tell you, it
was a powerful thing for me,
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a powerful moment.
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I stopped crying,
changed my perspective,
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I stopped being angry, I
stopped fussing with God.
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And I know that I
had to make some changes
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because at that time, I
wasn't operating on a budget.
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We were just operating
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as the money
comes, you spend it.
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Yes.
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And so, you know,
we were just living,
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and I had to learn
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how to do some
things to make some changes,
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and the struggle is there.
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God just gives us
enough for the day,
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He has never really
given us a whole lot.
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So, you know, it's just
a day-by-day thing for me.
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You know, I gathered two things
from what each of you said.
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You know, Denry, you're
talking about being broke versus
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what broke really means.
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But both of you and myself,
we have something in common,
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we have good helpmates.
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Amen.
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I go out, with
me, I like to spend,
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I like to
spend, you know, right?
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Why cook when I
can go out to eat?
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You know, why I have a car
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that has over 100,
000 miles when I can just,
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"Hey, why not,
we'll just payments
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on the new car."
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But you know, my wife
taught me that not being broke
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is not what
culturally being broke means.
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What I mean to say
is, Caribbean culture,
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you live in
accordance to your means,
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and that's one thing
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I'm trying to instill
in my girls, live in...
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And I haven't
forgotten about that.
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You live in
accordance to your means.
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If you make
20,000, 30,000 a year,
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you don't live like
you make millions a year,
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and that's one thing
that I instill in my girls
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because obviously,
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culture has a
big influence on men,
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especially as
fathers and being providers,
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you got to have the best job,
the best income, the best car,
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the best of everything.
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When in reality,
as Christian men,
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God already has
the best of everything,
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we just got to
be patient enough.
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And one of the things
that I had a conversation
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with my five-year old daughter
about was going out to eat.
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I sat down with her
and I discussed with her,
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"Hey, you know, that
money that you're using
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that we can use to
go out and get one meal,
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we could probably
use that money to buy
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a few different
meals at the store,
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the grocery store.
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We'll buy some
groceries that can make
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for a few different meals."
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But you know, living
this dream, as they say,
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the American dream, it
means to spend, splurge.
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And to me,
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that's
irresponsible stewardship,
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you know, that's one thing...
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I don't know.
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How do you feel
about teaching our kids
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from early on
what it means to be
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good stewards of God's money
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because He is the
one giving you the money?
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That's right.
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What do you think about
teaching our kids stewardship?
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That's the other dynamic.
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So you know, we
talk about being broke,
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and a lot of times, it
maybe you're inability to,
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you know, position yourself
in a better job or whatever.
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But most of the time,
let's be honest with ourselves,
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it's because we're
living above what we make.
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And so, you
know, our cultures...
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You know, 'cause this
happens to different groups,
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different races.
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Many times, we get money,
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we feel like we have to spend it
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to buy the biggest
car, the biggest house,
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you know, to show people off.
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We live for now,
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so there's a
mentality of spending money
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that you live for now.
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So what we teach
our children at home
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is the importance of saving,
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but not just saving
but save for purposes.
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One of my sons, he
blew my wife and I away.
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He just mentioned,
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you know, some of what you said,
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he wants to go out.
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He said, "Can we just have a day
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where we just go out to
maybe Applebee's, right?"
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And he said, "How
much would it cost?"
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I said, "For five
of us, roughly around,
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you know, $40 to $50, right?"
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He said, "Okay."
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Two days later, he said,
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"Daddy, do you think
there's things I could do,
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like around the house
where I can, you know,
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maybe work a little bit,
you give me a couple dollars."
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This guy is
eight years old, right?
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So I said, "Yeah,
yeah. We could do.
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Wash mom's car.
Blah, blah, blah."
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So he's been doing
these different things,
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then he has money in the safe,
he came to me the other day
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and he poured
out all this money.
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He said, "Daddy, I
got $50. Can we go now?"
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But then I said to
him, "Well, this is good.
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I want you to save $50 more
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because what I
don't want you to do
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is spend your $50
and then you're broke."
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I said, "The
wise thing what we do,
00:10:02.16\00:10:03.70
spend your $50
but you still have $50
00:10:03.73\00:10:05.80
in reserve in
case of emergency."
00:10:05.83\00:10:08.04
So now he's
working towards that.
00:10:08.07\00:10:09.80
I believe that's practical.
00:10:09.84\00:10:11.17
So he can have his fun,
you know, he can have some fun,
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but he can also
preserve for the future.
00:10:15.48\00:10:17.91
Here's where I'm different.
00:10:17.95\00:10:19.28
My difference is
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you live poor now so
you can live rich later.
00:10:20.98\00:10:24.09
So whatever you have to save...
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Why go out to eat
when I can cook at home
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and just eat at home?
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And the same thing
I tell my children.
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Both of them are, you know,
some of them have been working,
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and I've been saying to them,
00:10:37.77\00:10:39.87
"You have to put something
up, you have to put something."
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The thing about our culture
is that we live for the moment
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and we don't live
to leave inheritance
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to our children.
00:10:49.01\00:10:50.35
Exactly.
00:10:50.38\00:10:51.71
As fathers, we
just live and we just...
00:10:51.75\00:10:53.08
We want to spend
everything, no inheritance.
00:10:53.11\00:10:54.45
We don't think
about investments,
00:10:54.48\00:10:56.89
we don't think about,
00:10:56.92\00:10:58.25
"Okay, what's going
to happen four years,
00:10:58.29\00:11:00.69
five years when we die?
00:11:00.72\00:11:02.06
Something we can
pass down to them."
00:11:02.09\00:11:03.96
So I think and
I'm a firm believer
00:11:03.99\00:11:07.30
is that you have to
teach responsible stewardship,
00:11:07.33\00:11:10.20
you have to teach how to
save, you have to teach that.
00:11:10.23\00:11:13.40
Every time you get some
money, you want to go burn it
00:11:13.44\00:11:16.57
and buy a pair
shoes or, you know...
00:11:16.60\00:11:19.27
I saw folks who'd
be buying Jordan's
00:11:19.31\00:11:22.44
or all of these
different kind of sneakers,
00:11:22.48\00:11:28.88
but yet, they
don't have the money,
00:11:28.92\00:11:32.59
and the kids are not
having a good education,
00:11:32.62\00:11:35.32
or things are not
happening at home.
00:11:35.36\00:11:38.13
So I really...
00:11:38.16\00:11:39.49
I'm a firm believer that we need
00:11:39.53\00:11:41.50
to teach our
children to be responsible.
00:11:41.53\00:11:43.87
Teach them how to invest,
00:11:43.90\00:11:45.50
teach them how
to put money away,
00:11:45.53\00:11:47.57
teach them how
to budget the money
00:11:47.60\00:11:49.24
because if you don't
have a good control of money,
00:11:49.27\00:11:51.97
the money will control you.
00:11:52.01\00:11:54.18
And before you know it,
00:11:54.21\00:11:56.31
you wouldn't have anything left.
00:11:56.34\00:11:58.75
I teach my kids, "Make
sure that before you spend it,
00:11:58.78\00:12:01.82
it's on the paper.
00:12:01.85\00:12:03.18
I want to see.
00:12:03.22\00:12:04.55
I want to see it on the
paper before you spend it."
00:12:04.59\00:12:06.92
You said you differ from me
00:12:06.96\00:12:08.42
but you're basically
saying the same thing
00:12:08.46\00:12:10.53
that I'm saying
but you're looking
00:12:10.56\00:12:12.03
at a different
perspective, right?
00:12:12.06\00:12:13.63
Probably.
00:12:13.66\00:12:15.06
Think about it, you work hard,
00:12:15.10\00:12:16.93
there is a point that
you need to appreciate
00:12:16.97\00:12:19.57
what you're working, right?
00:12:19.60\00:12:20.94
I'm not saying for you to work
00:12:20.97\00:12:23.10
and splurge your money
all the time you get it.
00:12:23.14\00:12:25.91
Now and then, you do need
to delight in what you did.
00:12:25.94\00:12:28.58
My wife loves, once in a
while, me taking her out.
00:12:28.61\00:12:31.71
My mother...
00:12:31.75\00:12:33.08
I got it from my mother.
00:12:33.11\00:12:34.45
She disliked...
00:12:34.48\00:12:35.82
Talking about dads.
She disliked my dad.
00:12:35.85\00:12:38.42
When they first got ordained,
00:12:38.45\00:12:39.85
he used to take
her out now and then.
00:12:39.89\00:12:42.02
Then he just got into this,
00:12:42.06\00:12:43.39
I don't know if it was religion,
00:12:43.43\00:12:44.76
or his view,
philosophy, he just stopped.
00:12:44.79\00:12:47.90
And till today, she is like,
00:12:47.93\00:12:49.60
"Man, I just wish
he just take me out.
00:12:49.63\00:12:51.07
Just...
00:12:51.10\00:12:52.43
I don't want to
cook all the time.
00:12:52.47\00:12:53.80
I don't want to cook every day.
00:12:53.84\00:12:55.17
I just want to sit down,
00:12:55.20\00:12:56.54
let somebody
serve me, let's pay...
00:12:56.57\00:12:57.97
Let's help bless somebody else
00:12:58.01\00:13:00.04
so that they can take
food home for their family."
00:13:00.08\00:13:03.21
And so it's not
that I'm saying...
00:13:03.24\00:13:05.35
Live I said, I said
the same you're saying.
00:13:05.38\00:13:06.92
I said, "Spend
the money wisely."
00:13:06.95\00:13:08.72
I told him, "Raise the money.
00:13:08.75\00:13:10.52
You want to go to
this particular restaurant,
00:13:10.55\00:13:13.46
raise that money, but
raise additional money
00:13:13.49\00:13:16.52
so you're not spending
your money and wasting it,
00:13:16.56\00:13:20.33
you also have money in reserve."
00:13:20.36\00:13:21.86
So we're saying the same
thing, I think we just...
00:13:21.90\00:13:25.10
You have to enjoy life.
00:13:25.13\00:13:27.37
Solomon says enjoy it. Amen.
00:13:27.40\00:13:29.54
I enjoy life, I
don't have to spend.
00:13:29.57\00:13:33.58
Starting to say
things in my life.
00:13:33.61\00:13:35.54
You guys sound like
you're saying the same thing,
00:13:35.58\00:13:37.38
it's just, you know, being
wise in what you invest in,
00:13:37.41\00:13:40.82
enjoy it but don't be wasteful.
00:13:40.85\00:13:43.85
Exactly.
00:13:43.89\00:13:45.22
You know, if
you enjoy to go out,
00:13:45.25\00:13:47.36
plan ahead and
have proper cushion,
00:13:47.39\00:13:51.13
especially for your kids,
00:13:51.16\00:13:52.49
so they can
understand that concept.
00:13:52.53\00:13:53.86
You know, I grew up in a
home, again, Puerto Rico,
00:13:53.90\00:13:56.80
we were good, you
know, we lived great,
00:13:56.83\00:13:59.00
never above our means.
00:13:59.03\00:14:00.57
We move out and it
seems like we get caught up
00:14:00.60\00:14:04.04
and, "Let's go out to
eat, let's go out to eat."
00:14:04.07\00:14:06.78
When my wife and I...
00:14:06.81\00:14:08.14
Things were like...
00:14:08.18\00:14:09.51
One of the first years
we were married, it was...
00:14:09.54\00:14:11.95
We sat down to do our budget
00:14:11.98\00:14:13.42
and we had spent like 400
bucks that month on eating out.
00:14:13.45\00:14:17.15
I nearly...
00:14:17.19\00:14:18.52
I almost passed out.
00:14:18.55\00:14:19.89
And I'm not a budgeter
00:14:19.92\00:14:21.26
but when I saw
that, I was like...
00:14:21.29\00:14:22.62
You know, and it
wasn't big expenses,
00:14:22.66\00:14:27.13
it was little,
like a drop in a bucket.
00:14:27.16\00:14:29.53
You know, I'm
like, "We did what?
00:14:29.56\00:14:32.20
We did what? Spend
400 bucks on going out.
00:14:32.23\00:14:34.27
We could have
used that, you know...
00:14:34.30\00:14:35.77
That's money for groceries
00:14:35.80\00:14:38.04
for two or three
months right there."
00:14:38.07\00:14:40.78
Yeah.
00:14:40.81\00:14:42.14
You know, so that's
kind of a sobering thought.
00:14:42.18\00:14:44.15
What I teach my kids
is "Don't be a prude.
00:14:44.18\00:14:49.08
Don't, you know, be so stingy
that you don't enjoy life,
00:14:49.12\00:14:53.32
but at the same time, be wise."
00:14:53.36\00:14:55.56
And one of the things
that I found refreshing,
00:14:55.59\00:14:58.69
and we use it a lot in
church but it made no sense
00:14:58.73\00:15:00.90
until I started
properly tithing,
00:15:00.93\00:15:03.53
which is a
separate topic altogether,
00:15:03.57\00:15:06.20
but, you know, I
really hold tithe to,
00:15:06.23\00:15:09.20
you know...
00:15:09.24\00:15:10.57
And Malachi talks about it.
00:15:10.61\00:15:11.94
When you gift God, we give
that 10% out of your paycheck,
00:15:11.97\00:15:16.11
even though it
might seem like a lot
00:15:16.14\00:15:18.18
and you might be left
with what you think is nothing.
00:15:18.21\00:15:21.82
When I look back
at every single time
00:15:21.85\00:15:23.55
that I tithe,
not only physically
00:15:23.59\00:15:25.89
but emotionally from
my heart, gave with joy,
00:15:25.92\00:15:29.06
every bill was paid and
I had a surplus every time.
00:15:29.09\00:15:33.60
But my question is, what about
the fathers that are divorced,
00:15:33.63\00:15:39.27
the ones that are having to pay
00:15:39.30\00:15:40.70
hundreds and hundreds
and hundreds of dollars
00:15:40.74\00:15:42.07
in child support?
00:15:42.10\00:15:43.44
What do you say to
those men that are,
00:15:43.47\00:15:45.77
well, in their
eyes, they are broke
00:15:45.81\00:15:47.14
because they have no paycheck?
00:15:47.18\00:15:49.21
I want to answer that,
00:15:49.24\00:15:50.75
but I want to also
talk about the tithe,
00:15:50.78\00:15:53.21
which I think is
not a separate topic
00:15:53.25\00:15:54.98
because it goes within
this whole budget thing
00:15:55.02\00:15:56.82
and how to do it.
00:15:56.85\00:15:58.19
This is the first thing
00:15:58.22\00:15:59.55
that we ought to
take off of the top.
00:15:59.59\00:16:01.12
You're tithe and your
offering, what's given to God
00:16:01.16\00:16:03.53
and what's staying in
local church, that is...
00:16:03.56\00:16:07.03
If you're making a
small amount of money,
00:16:07.06\00:16:10.80
if you have all
the child support
00:16:10.83\00:16:12.17
that you...
00:16:12.20\00:16:13.54
whatever it is that you have,
00:16:13.57\00:16:15.04
that needs to come
off at the top first.
00:16:15.07\00:16:17.74
And that's where
your trust level comes in
00:16:17.77\00:16:20.28
and then you allow
God to do the rest.
00:16:20.31\00:16:23.35
But if we worry about,
00:16:23.38\00:16:25.68
"Oh, I don't
have enough for this.
00:16:25.71\00:16:27.65
I don't have enough for that."
00:16:27.68\00:16:29.38
And so we hold back on Lord
00:16:29.42\00:16:32.29
and we don't
receive the blessings,
00:16:32.32\00:16:34.42
then there's
nothing added to us.
00:16:34.46\00:16:36.99
So for me, and I
can just tell you,
00:16:37.03\00:16:41.50
I had an issue with it.
00:16:41.53\00:16:43.93
I'm just going to be very plain.
00:16:43.97\00:16:45.77
I had an issue with tithe
00:16:45.80\00:16:47.27
'cause I worry about what
the church is going to do,
00:16:47.30\00:16:48.90
what this is, and
all that kind of stuff.
00:16:48.94\00:16:51.57
And I never have
money, never had money.
00:16:51.61\00:16:54.54
Let me put it
again. I never had money.
00:16:54.58\00:16:56.51
And we were working
for a very good money.
00:16:56.54\00:17:00.28
But after I gave up, I said,
00:17:00.32\00:17:02.78
"You know, I don't
care what's going to happen.
00:17:02.82\00:17:04.79
I'm going to be
obedient to what God says."
00:17:04.82\00:17:06.49
Yes.
00:17:06.52\00:17:07.86
'Cause I have
two little children
00:17:07.89\00:17:09.36
coming up and...
00:17:09.39\00:17:10.73
I have to live an exemplary life
00:17:10.76\00:17:13.29
so they can see.
00:17:13.33\00:17:15.63
So I said, "You
know what, I surrender."
00:17:15.66\00:17:18.13
Allow God to do it.
00:17:18.17\00:17:19.57
I started being
faithful with my tithe,
00:17:19.60\00:17:21.20
being faithful with my offering.
00:17:21.24\00:17:23.00
And I'm telling you,
00:17:23.04\00:17:24.37
God has blessed over
and over and over again
00:17:24.41\00:17:29.14
because that's what He promised.
00:17:29.18\00:17:31.41
So I will say to
any father out there
00:17:31.45\00:17:33.45
that is struggling financially,
any father that have
00:17:33.48\00:17:38.12
all these
different child supports
00:17:38.15\00:17:40.06
and they can't make it,
00:17:40.09\00:17:41.42
take whatever little you
have and you give that 10% plus
00:17:41.46\00:17:47.33
some to God and allow
God to deal with the rest.
00:17:47.36\00:17:51.40
You know, these
men who are fathers
00:17:51.43\00:17:55.40
who have gone through divorce
00:17:55.44\00:17:58.07
or they're widower or they,
00:17:58.11\00:18:01.64
you know, stepped
out of their relation,
00:18:01.68\00:18:03.28
whatever the
reason they have a child
00:18:03.31\00:18:05.51
and they're not with the wife,
00:18:05.55\00:18:07.05
you know, there is that
burden that comes with this.
00:18:07.08\00:18:11.99
You know, child
support, alimony,
00:18:12.02\00:18:13.76
or they got to pay
the debt of the wife,
00:18:13.79\00:18:16.66
whatever the case
maybe, there is that burden.
00:18:16.69\00:18:19.29
And I think what we
could do to encourage fathers
00:18:19.33\00:18:23.87
is to empower them.
00:18:23.90\00:18:26.94
Some cultures and
communities have these circles
00:18:26.97\00:18:30.64
where basically
they stretch money
00:18:30.67\00:18:34.48
around each other, okay?
00:18:34.51\00:18:37.08
So we will come together,
we will come together and say,
00:18:37.11\00:18:41.92
God forbid, "My wife passed.
00:18:41.95\00:18:43.59
And he went through a divorce."
00:18:43.62\00:18:45.25
And, you know,
you're still stable,
00:18:45.29\00:18:47.52
you know, we can
stretch our money out,
00:18:47.56\00:18:49.66
we loan from each other,
00:18:49.69\00:18:51.19
we pass our
money on, we support,
00:18:51.23\00:18:53.40
we encourage each other, we..."
00:18:53.43\00:18:55.83
Okay, you know, I have
a job opening next week
00:18:55.86\00:18:59.43
at the company I work at.
00:18:59.47\00:19:00.94
Why don't you apply for it?"
00:19:00.97\00:19:02.37
So we empower each
other, then we teach them,
00:19:02.40\00:19:06.01
"Okay, how do you
live with this money
00:19:06.04\00:19:08.78
that you're making?
00:19:08.81\00:19:10.15
Before you were making
thousands and thousands
00:19:10.18\00:19:12.05
of dollars,
00:19:12.08\00:19:13.42
but with all this
new financial restraint,
00:19:13.45\00:19:15.55
you can only
live with this much."
00:19:15.58\00:19:17.35
So education. So
empower, educate, right?
00:19:17.39\00:19:22.56
And then, you know, we
teach them now to equip,
00:19:22.59\00:19:25.86
we equip them.
00:19:25.89\00:19:27.66
We equip them with
financial resources.
00:19:27.70\00:19:29.83
What to do with some investments
00:19:29.86\00:19:31.40
that you can tap into?
00:19:31.43\00:19:33.54
I don't think we really have
00:19:33.57\00:19:34.97
that too much
dialogue in churches
00:19:35.00\00:19:37.37
and in our community
of what to do with money,
00:19:37.41\00:19:40.98
how to make money work for you?
00:19:41.01\00:19:42.71
We do know how to save.
00:19:42.74\00:19:44.15
Our grandma does
know how to save.
00:19:44.18\00:19:45.58
They put it
under their mattress.
00:19:45.61\00:19:47.68
But there's more
things they could do also
00:19:47.72\00:19:49.85
with the money that is saved
00:19:49.88\00:19:51.79
if we teach and
educate these men,
00:19:51.82\00:19:53.96
especially those
who are in hardship.
00:19:53.99\00:19:55.46
One thing that we're...
00:19:55.49\00:19:56.83
I'm going to just tell you,
00:19:56.86\00:19:58.19
this is a very
passionate thing for me
00:19:58.23\00:20:01.13
because I'm tired of seeing,
especially the black community,
00:20:01.16\00:20:05.83
live below the level
that they're living at.
00:20:05.87\00:20:08.60
Yes.
00:20:08.64\00:20:09.97
And the reason why is that
00:20:10.01\00:20:11.34
they don't know
how to handle money.
00:20:11.37\00:20:13.07
Yes.
00:20:13.11\00:20:14.44
And so what I have started
00:20:14.48\00:20:16.75
and it's beginning
to start in the church.
00:20:16.78\00:20:18.38
I've met a young man
and he had the skill set...
00:20:18.41\00:20:21.45
Because I'm a pastor,
00:20:21.48\00:20:22.82
you know, I don't have
the time to do everything.
00:20:22.85\00:20:24.65
He has a skill set,
he was a stockbroker,
00:20:24.69\00:20:26.62
and we were talking,
00:20:26.65\00:20:27.99
and I shared my vision with him.
00:20:28.02\00:20:29.46
I want to start
an investment club
00:20:29.49\00:20:31.06
in my church.
00:20:31.09\00:20:32.86
I want to be
able to teach people
00:20:32.89\00:20:34.90
how to invest, how
to save, how to budget.
00:20:34.93\00:20:38.90
And so he was able to
put up a curriculum together,
00:20:38.93\00:20:42.44
whereby we're going
to start that very thing.
00:20:42.47\00:20:44.81
We got to be
able to teach people
00:20:44.84\00:20:46.64
how to do these things.
00:20:46.68\00:20:48.01
When they learned, they
know how to invest their money,
00:20:48.04\00:20:50.71
they have become empowered.
00:20:50.75\00:20:52.08
What do you...
00:20:52.11\00:20:53.45
You put a...
00:20:53.48\00:20:54.82
You get $500 and
you invest that $500
00:20:54.85\00:20:56.75
and then you see
later on, you get $510,
00:20:56.79\00:21:00.49
you know, and then
you see that growing
00:21:00.52\00:21:02.09
and you
understand compound interest,
00:21:02.12\00:21:04.13
you understand all these things,
00:21:04.16\00:21:05.86
you get excited about it
and it really empowers you
00:21:05.89\00:21:09.53
to save more.
00:21:09.56\00:21:11.53
And you don't need
to have a lot of money.
00:21:11.57\00:21:13.64
So even that
father that's struggling
00:21:13.67\00:21:15.67
or that parent
that is struggling,
00:21:15.70\00:21:17.21
you don't have to
have a lot of money
00:21:17.24\00:21:19.54
to start something,
00:21:19.57\00:21:21.01
to start saving,
to start investing.
00:21:21.04\00:21:23.04
Just think about
leaving an inheritance
00:21:23.08\00:21:25.35
for your children.
00:21:25.38\00:21:26.72
I think that's important
is just teaching our kids
00:21:26.75\00:21:28.08
how to budget, you know,
00:21:28.12\00:21:29.45
'cause we think about budgeting,
00:21:29.48\00:21:31.05
we think about big
numbers, you know, but I'm...
00:21:31.09\00:21:33.92
You know, my wife
went through something that
00:21:33.96\00:21:36.39
these
individuals she was with...
00:21:36.42\00:21:39.29
Two of them went out
00:21:39.33\00:21:40.76
and were given a
X amount of money
00:21:40.80\00:21:44.07
and they ended
up buying a package
00:21:44.10\00:21:46.03
of a particular item
that was five dollars,
00:21:46.07\00:21:48.80
you know, where
they could have...
00:21:48.84\00:21:50.17
Right next to it,
was the same exact item,
00:21:50.21\00:21:53.17
different brand but for less.
00:21:53.21\00:21:56.28
You know, we get
caught up in brand names,
00:21:56.31\00:21:58.51
and that's one thing
that I try to teach my kids.
00:21:58.55\00:22:01.25
Just because this is this brand
and this brand is glorified,
00:22:01.28\00:22:05.72
it doesn't mean you can't
get the same quality for less,
00:22:05.75\00:22:09.19
quality over quantity.
00:22:09.22\00:22:10.56
Yeah. Yeah.
00:22:10.59\00:22:11.93
And that's one thing...
00:22:11.96\00:22:13.29
How do you teach your
kids quality over quantity?
00:22:13.33\00:22:15.46
Again, it starts with
that understanding of,
00:22:15.50\00:22:18.83
you don't have to
live like the Joneses,
00:22:18.87\00:22:21.14
you don't have to follow
00:22:21.17\00:22:22.50
whatever
everybody else is doing.
00:22:22.54\00:22:25.31
So if they want to
buy whatever it is,
00:22:25.34\00:22:29.61
you don't have to do that.
00:22:29.64\00:22:31.28
Know how to handle your money.
00:22:31.31\00:22:32.71
A great system that
I teach my children,
00:22:32.75\00:22:35.38
I tell to people
about is an envelope system.
00:22:35.42\00:22:38.22
So you have an
envelope for everything,
00:22:38.25\00:22:40.86
and so if you're
going to buy shoes,
00:22:40.89\00:22:43.12
you have your shoe envelope.
00:22:43.16\00:22:44.49
And so every time
00:22:44.53\00:22:45.86
you get some
money, you put a dollar,
00:22:45.89\00:22:47.66
you put $10, whatever it
is, that's your shoe envelope,
00:22:47.70\00:22:50.53
your grocery envelope.
00:22:50.57\00:22:51.90
So you have an envelope system
00:22:51.93\00:22:53.37
where you're
putting your money in.
00:22:53.40\00:22:55.27
So whenever you
have that amount,
00:22:55.30\00:22:58.91
you just take it
out of that envelope
00:22:58.94\00:23:00.68
and you use it.
00:23:00.71\00:23:02.04
If there's nothing
left in the envelope,
00:23:02.08\00:23:03.41
then you can't buy
whatever name brand
00:23:03.45\00:23:05.68
or whatever you
think you have to buy
00:23:05.71\00:23:08.02
or you feel that you need.
00:23:08.05\00:23:09.78
So I think, those are the things
00:23:09.82\00:23:12.02
that you enforce
in your children,
00:23:12.05\00:23:14.16
then they begin to
understand, "Wait a minute.
00:23:14.19\00:23:16.02
There is value in money."
00:23:16.06\00:23:18.89
And when they realize
there's value in money,
00:23:18.93\00:23:21.46
name, brand, and all that
stuff will go out the window.
00:23:21.50\00:23:24.80
Another important
element, and you touched on it,
00:23:24.83\00:23:28.80
but I think
because you're speaking
00:23:28.84\00:23:30.64
to a wide demographic
00:23:30.67\00:23:33.91
and good amount of
people pray, its prayer.
00:23:33.94\00:23:36.64
Oh, yes.
00:23:36.68\00:23:38.01
Now I've...
00:23:38.05\00:23:39.38
You know, our parents
were private with that stuff,
00:23:39.41\00:23:42.55
they didn't talk about finances,
00:23:42.58\00:23:44.02
talk about the
hardship until we got older.
00:23:44.05\00:23:46.55
"Like, man, wow.
00:23:46.59\00:23:47.92
You guys really had...
00:23:47.96\00:23:49.29
We thought everything was good."
00:23:49.32\00:23:50.76
So what my wife
00:23:50.79\00:23:52.49
and I have been
starting to engage
00:23:52.53\00:23:55.16
with our children in prayer
00:23:55.20\00:23:57.87
that we are
00:23:57.90\00:23:59.80
in a financial blunder right now
00:23:59.83\00:24:02.10
and we're looking
to the Lord for help.
00:24:02.14\00:24:05.71
And in our
prayers, we were saying,
00:24:05.74\00:24:07.31
you know, "Lord,
you know, right now,
00:24:07.34\00:24:08.68
the kids need to go to school.
00:24:08.71\00:24:10.45
You know, this is going on.
00:24:10.48\00:24:11.85
Financially, right
now, we don't have it."
00:24:11.88\00:24:14.18
And for the children to see
that God answered the prayer,
00:24:14.22\00:24:18.99
they're in school, this is...
00:24:19.02\00:24:20.36
whatever, that
increases their faith.
00:24:20.39\00:24:23.12
So faith is truly something
that we need to capitalize
00:24:23.16\00:24:26.90
if you want to
use these F words.
00:24:26.93\00:24:28.70
Do you have finances?
00:24:28.73\00:24:30.13
If you really want
real finance, put faith.
00:24:30.17\00:24:33.07
Faith.
00:24:33.10\00:24:35.70
I'm going to say something
00:24:35.74\00:24:37.74
and I'm going to
share two quick things.
00:24:37.77\00:24:40.44
One, prayer is the key. It is.
00:24:40.48\00:24:43.61
Part of setting
your budget up is prayer.
00:24:43.65\00:24:46.21
You know, my kids, my family,
we were praying and said,
00:24:46.25\00:24:49.25
"Lord, we need this.
00:24:49.28\00:24:50.62
We need that."
00:24:50.65\00:24:51.99
And they would know
that we're praying about it.
00:24:52.02\00:24:53.52
When it came time for us
to get them back in the school
00:24:53.56\00:24:56.49
and the money's not there,
let me tell you something,
00:24:56.52\00:24:59.83
I'm in my office, I'm
praying, I said, "God, you know,
00:24:59.86\00:25:01.53
they've got to
go back to school.
00:25:01.56\00:25:02.90
I'm finished with Andrews,
00:25:02.93\00:25:04.27
so I know there's
no money nowhere."
00:25:04.30\00:25:05.63
God said, "Get up and
go to Andrews University.
00:25:05.67\00:25:08.27
Go and look into your account."
00:25:08.30\00:25:10.01
That I've been out of
Andrews for two years.
00:25:10.04\00:25:12.17
I looked into my account
00:25:12.21\00:25:13.54
and there was
over $2, 000 sitting
00:25:13.58\00:25:14.91
in that account for me.
00:25:14.94\00:25:16.28
The lady said, it
came from the government.
00:25:16.31\00:25:17.65
Who knows why, who knows...
00:25:17.68\00:25:19.08
I know it was God
and God was able to move.
00:25:19.11\00:25:21.45
My wife just called me today
00:25:21.48\00:25:23.65
and said, "Oh, we
got another blessing."
00:25:23.69\00:25:26.05
You know, I didn't expect it.
00:25:26.09\00:25:29.06
Someone called us and said,
00:25:29.09\00:25:30.43
"Oh, you wrote a course
for us and we never paid you.
00:25:30.46\00:25:35.06
So here's $2,000."
00:25:35.10\00:25:37.43
It is because of prayer
00:25:37.47\00:25:38.80
and it's because of
our faithfulness to God
00:25:38.83\00:25:42.94
and because we are
responsible stewards
00:25:42.97\00:25:46.21
in budgeting, trying
to live within our means,
00:25:46.24\00:25:48.74
and of course, you
splurge a little bit,
00:25:48.78\00:25:50.68
but I think prayer is the key.
00:25:50.71\00:25:52.05
Yes, it is. Exactly.
00:25:52.08\00:25:53.42
I believe that.
00:25:53.45\00:25:54.78
Yeah, I think it's just
the matter of understanding
00:25:54.82\00:25:56.15
that money comes and money goes,
00:25:56.18\00:25:59.45
but God is everlasting,
you know, and it sounds...
00:25:59.49\00:26:02.86
To some people, it might
sound redundant, like you,
00:26:02.89\00:26:05.56
praying Christians...
00:26:05.59\00:26:08.23
But to me, it's
like, I believe it
00:26:08.26\00:26:09.76
because I've experienced
it and that's one thing
00:26:09.80\00:26:11.57
that I think all
three of us share in common
00:26:11.60\00:26:13.54
that we experience
the burdens and hardships
00:26:13.57\00:26:17.87
of what it's like
to earn a paycheck
00:26:17.91\00:26:19.67
and just see it,
poof, go out the window.
00:26:19.71\00:26:22.64
And we've learned
through our difficulties
00:26:22.68\00:26:24.68
and what it is like
to budget, to be broke,
00:26:24.71\00:26:28.38
as society says,
you know, defines it.
00:26:28.42\00:26:31.52
But even though, to the society,
00:26:31.55\00:26:34.06
we might seem like
we're broke, to God,
00:26:34.09\00:26:37.66
we have riches,
00:26:37.69\00:26:39.03
we're about to
walk on streets of gold.
00:26:39.06\00:26:40.40
Yes. Streets of gold.
00:26:40.43\00:26:43.16
And that's one thing
I want to tell fathers
00:26:43.20\00:26:45.17
is the fact that,
00:26:45.20\00:26:47.30
you know,
finances are never easy,
00:26:47.34\00:26:50.71
especially as a Dad,
00:26:50.74\00:26:52.07
there's always this burden
of needing to provide anything
00:26:52.11\00:26:55.54
and everything to your
kids, to have the best job,
00:26:55.58\00:26:58.31
the best paycheck,
the best of everything.
00:26:58.35\00:27:02.18
Finances actually
break up marriages,
00:27:02.22\00:27:04.25
that's one of the key factors
of breaking our marriages.
00:27:04.29\00:27:07.32
So it's important that
you learn for yourself,
00:27:07.36\00:27:11.29
not wait for
anybody else to teach you,
00:27:11.33\00:27:13.60
but actually go and
find the information
00:27:13.63\00:27:15.16
that you need to
have the resources.
00:27:15.20\00:27:18.10
And fathers that are
pastors of different churches,
00:27:18.13\00:27:21.44
set up programs in your churches
00:27:21.47\00:27:23.74
that can teach men, so
they can teach their kids.
00:27:23.77\00:27:27.48
And even though we
want to leave an inheritance
00:27:27.51\00:27:30.58
or some kind of money,
00:27:30.61\00:27:32.31
the best
inheritance is the wisdom
00:27:32.35\00:27:34.08
that we can provide
through our experiences
00:27:34.12\00:27:36.45
through our issues,
00:27:36.48\00:27:37.82
through the
ordeals is that we've gone
00:27:37.85\00:27:39.19
through as fathers
00:27:39.22\00:27:40.56
on what it's like
to really be broke,
00:27:40.59\00:27:43.19
to have nothing.
00:27:43.22\00:27:45.13
So I encourage you today
to pray about everything.
00:27:45.16\00:27:49.83
Pray about your
money and your finances,
00:27:49.86\00:27:52.60
pray about your children
and help them to understand
00:27:52.63\00:27:55.47
that the ultimate
supplier is God Himself.
00:27:55.50\00:27:58.71
I thank you for watching.
Please join us again next time.
00:27:58.74\00:28:01.71