A good father takes time to play. 00:00:01.36\00:00:05.43 He has strong integrity. 00:00:05.47\00:00:08.50 He is someone that is truly dedicated. 00:00:08.54\00:00:12.27 He is not afraid to show his love. 00:00:12.31\00:00:15.81 He is a caring provider. 00:00:15.84\00:00:18.88 And he is a kind spiritual leader. 00:00:18.91\00:00:23.65 These are just a few ways to describe a father's heart. 00:00:23.69\00:00:28.29 Hi and welcome to A Father's Heart. 00:00:34.16\00:00:35.63 I'm your host Xavier. 00:00:35.66\00:00:37.27 And today, we're going to be discussing 00:00:37.30\00:00:38.63 a very sensitive topic about racism, 00:00:38.67\00:00:41.94 how do you teach your kids, 00:00:41.97\00:00:43.30 how do they deal with it, 00:00:43.34\00:00:44.67 when you yourself are in a state of cynicism 00:00:44.71\00:00:47.84 and wanting to know what to do next. 00:00:47.88\00:00:50.08 And with me to discuss that are my friends Denry and Paul, 00:00:50.11\00:00:53.75 how are you guys doing today? 00:00:53.78\00:00:55.12 Good day, man, doing well, doing well. 00:00:55.15\00:00:56.79 Blessed to be here. 00:00:56.82\00:00:58.15 You know, we like to acknowledge 00:00:58.19\00:00:59.79 the elephant in the room. 00:00:59.82\00:01:01.49 Let's talk about racism, how... 00:01:01.52\00:01:03.73 I know we've experienced that at different levels, 00:01:03.76\00:01:06.09 that's a given, 00:01:06.13\00:01:07.46 we've experienced it outside of church, 00:01:07.50\00:01:08.93 in church, in the world, outside the world. 00:01:08.96\00:01:11.17 However you look at it, we've experienced it, 00:01:11.20\00:01:12.77 but how do we teach our kids 00:01:12.80\00:01:15.04 to deal with it without becoming cynical? 00:01:15.07\00:01:18.87 I think one of the major dangers 00:01:18.91\00:01:20.34 is that when we look at racism, 00:01:20.38\00:01:23.18 we always look outside, there are people races outside, 00:01:23.21\00:01:26.82 the world is racist, the church is racist, 00:01:26.85\00:01:29.48 schools are racists. 00:01:29.52\00:01:30.85 But we never really take in consideration ourselves, 00:01:30.89\00:01:34.22 could we be racist, 00:01:34.26\00:01:35.59 could we cause cultural separation, 00:01:35.62\00:01:37.69 could we call sexism. 00:01:37.73\00:01:39.39 You know, when we look at Genesis, 00:01:39.43\00:01:40.80 you know, chapter 3, 00:01:40.83\00:01:42.90 the first thing that was introduced was insecurity. 00:01:42.93\00:01:45.83 You have to be better than what God made you, 00:01:45.87\00:01:48.24 and I think that's what bruised racism, 00:01:48.27\00:01:50.74 the other person is not better or I'm not good enough, 00:01:50.77\00:01:53.24 so because I'm not good enough, I need to bring you down. 00:01:53.27\00:01:56.58 And so with my children, I try my best to lift them up. 00:01:56.61\00:02:00.22 But I don't lift them up to a point where I tell them, 00:02:00.25\00:02:02.48 "Hey, you are better than other people," never, never. 00:02:02.52\00:02:05.69 I say, "You are equal to other people, 00:02:05.72\00:02:07.39 God has created us equal, He's given us different gifts, 00:02:07.42\00:02:10.96 He's given us different abilities, 00:02:10.99\00:02:12.79 so use that to help to beautify the world 00:02:12.83\00:02:16.56 and to lift His kingdom up." 00:02:16.60\00:02:19.03 Oh, I concur definitely, 00:02:19.07\00:02:20.47 especially on the matter of being realistic, 00:02:20.50\00:02:24.44 having a realistic definition 00:02:24.47\00:02:26.37 of what racism or what prejudice is. 00:02:26.41\00:02:29.68 I reflect on my own rearing, I grew up in East Flatbush, 00:02:29.71\00:02:33.38 Brooklyn, and a very diverse, 00:02:33.42\00:02:36.99 a very ethnically diverse community, 00:02:37.02\00:02:38.65 very integrated 00:02:38.69\00:02:40.39 as far as the multiplicity 00:02:40.42\00:02:42.42 of cultures and ethnic groups, 00:02:42.46\00:02:44.03 yet very segregated as far as our neighborhood divides 00:02:44.06\00:02:47.96 and so on and so forth. 00:02:48.00\00:02:50.83 I had to learn a realistic understanding 00:02:50.87\00:02:53.60 of racism or prejudice, 00:02:53.64\00:02:56.00 and I try my best to instill that to my child, 00:02:56.04\00:02:59.17 wherein I'm saying, most often, 00:02:59.21\00:03:02.51 whoever is the minority group will fall victim 00:03:02.54\00:03:06.08 to that type of behavior. 00:03:06.11\00:03:07.68 We as a minority 00:03:07.72\00:03:09.15 may be more sensitive 00:03:09.18\00:03:10.52 to those actions, or sufferings, or whatever, 00:03:10.55\00:03:13.05 but whenever you are a majority, 00:03:13.09\00:03:17.06 you are at risk of demonstrating 00:03:17.09\00:03:19.66 those type of traits and behavior. 00:03:19.69\00:03:21.03 So I start with letting her know 00:03:21.06\00:03:23.00 that racism is a human problem, 00:03:23.03\00:03:27.14 it's not just a black problem, a white problem, 00:03:27.17\00:03:30.11 Spanish problem, Asian problem, racism is a human problem, 00:03:30.14\00:03:34.81 and the only way we can overcome it 00:03:34.84\00:03:37.48 is in and through the life of Christ. 00:03:37.51\00:03:40.18 Yeah, and I like that. 00:03:40.22\00:03:41.92 It's true, you know, but at the same time, you know. 00:03:41.95\00:03:44.89 How do I teach my girls? 00:03:44.92\00:03:47.29 You know, I've been told to go mow somebody's grass, 00:03:47.32\00:03:51.86 I've been told... 00:03:51.89\00:03:54.00 I've been called every name in the book, 00:03:54.03\00:03:55.53 you know, and different... 00:03:55.56\00:03:57.97 I have a different complexion, 00:03:58.00\00:03:59.80 as I say I joke about I change colors in the sun 00:03:59.83\00:04:02.57 'cause my dad's black 00:04:02.60\00:04:03.94 and my mom's very light, very light skin 00:04:03.97\00:04:07.04 'cause of Italian background, 00:04:07.08\00:04:08.94 you know, and I've been told 00:04:08.98\00:04:10.31 and called many different things, 00:04:10.35\00:04:11.68 and I never experienced racism before, 00:04:11.71\00:04:16.32 growing up in Puerto Rico, I didn't experience it. 00:04:16.35\00:04:18.62 When we moved out of there, my parents had told me, 00:04:18.65\00:04:21.29 "Hey, where we're going, 00:04:21.32\00:04:22.69 you might encounter people that look at you differently 00:04:22.72\00:04:25.56 or talk to you differently." 00:04:25.59\00:04:27.06 You know, for me, I didn't know what that meant. 00:04:27.10\00:04:30.37 And then when I experienced it for the first time, 00:04:30.40\00:04:32.83 I didn't know whether to be angry... 00:04:32.87\00:04:34.70 Yeah. 00:04:34.74\00:04:36.07 Or as my Christian... 00:04:36.10\00:04:37.81 as a Christian home, 00:04:37.84\00:04:39.51 how do I turn the other cheek 00:04:39.54\00:04:41.41 'cause you're slapping both my cheeks, 00:04:41.44\00:04:44.05 like how do I turn the other cheek. 00:04:44.08\00:04:45.98 And looking at my kids now, my girls, what do I tell them? 00:04:46.01\00:04:51.85 You know, not only are they female but they're also... 00:04:51.89\00:04:55.19 One is darker than the other, 00:04:55.22\00:04:57.13 what do I tell these girls? 00:04:57.16\00:04:58.86 How do I bring them up to understand that 00:04:58.89\00:05:01.46 it is a sin problem, 00:05:01.50\00:05:03.87 a human problem to be Christ-like 00:05:03.90\00:05:06.30 and see beyond abomination 00:05:06.33\00:05:09.30 that racism is love their fellowman 00:05:09.34\00:05:12.87 and not knock out their fellow man? 00:05:12.91\00:05:14.94 Yeah. 00:05:14.98\00:05:16.31 You know, how do you teach your kids to not be jaded 00:05:16.34\00:05:18.91 like we are at times as adults, how do you keep them innocent? 00:05:18.95\00:05:22.68 You know, the beauty of what you said, 00:05:22.72\00:05:24.89 turn the other cheek is that we are... 00:05:24.92\00:05:27.16 I think most people miss Matthew 5, 00:05:27.19\00:05:30.29 but the whole entirety of the Bible, 00:05:30.33\00:05:32.49 the entirety of the Bible is not to them. 00:05:32.53\00:05:35.06 When you're reading the Bible, 00:05:35.10\00:05:36.43 God is not speaking to them or to others, 00:05:36.46\00:05:39.30 God is speaking to you 00:05:39.33\00:05:41.60 and you turn the other cheek, 00:05:41.64\00:05:43.91 you forgive, you respond this way. 00:05:43.94\00:05:46.84 So yes, there's going to be racism, 00:05:46.88\00:05:49.01 there's going to be sexism, 00:05:49.04\00:05:50.38 all of the isms until Jesus come. 00:05:50.41\00:05:52.91 Let's just put... 00:05:52.95\00:05:54.28 Let's just be honest with ourselves, 00:05:54.32\00:05:55.65 you know, it's important to speak out against it, 00:05:55.68\00:05:57.65 let people know, you know, this is wrong. 00:05:57.69\00:06:00.36 But we need to have a similar attitude 00:06:00.39\00:06:02.09 like Martin Luther King, Gandhi, and most of them... 00:06:02.12\00:06:05.03 And they sampled themselves in Jesus Christ, 00:06:05.06\00:06:07.46 the attitude of Christ. 00:06:07.50\00:06:08.83 He spoke out against sin but how did He respond, 00:06:08.86\00:06:12.27 when He was treated bad, He turned the other cheek, 00:06:12.30\00:06:15.40 when He was attacked... 00:06:15.44\00:06:16.77 For example, I never forget, you said they make fun of you, 00:06:16.81\00:06:20.51 tell you to go mow the lawn or go plant a fountain 00:06:20.54\00:06:23.51 or something like that, a couple of guys, 00:06:23.55\00:06:26.08 we were walking into a building, 00:06:26.11\00:06:27.72 and we came through the side door, 00:06:27.75\00:06:29.52 and the guy jokingly said, 00:06:29.55\00:06:33.05 "Are you guys coming to rob the building?" 00:06:33.09\00:06:35.22 And I could have responded and said, 00:06:35.26\00:06:37.49 "Is this a black issue?" 00:06:37.53\00:06:39.09 Because it was three of bullied were black guys, 00:06:39.13\00:06:41.26 but I was like, you know what, 00:06:41.30\00:06:42.86 Jesus is teaching us 00:06:42.90\00:06:44.57 to these things are going to be in the world, 00:06:44.60\00:06:46.70 whether He meant it by humor 00:06:46.74\00:06:49.00 because I've done some of that, 00:06:49.04\00:06:50.84 you know, make those racial humor jokes 00:06:50.87\00:06:53.34 and not trying to insult anybody 00:06:53.38\00:06:55.64 but just out of humor. 00:06:55.68\00:06:57.21 So I didn't want to mess up his day that day. 00:06:57.25\00:07:00.12 So I forgave them, let it go, moved on, and just, 00:07:00.15\00:07:03.79 you know, made of it. 00:07:03.82\00:07:05.15 So the Bible always speaks to you respond, 00:07:05.19\00:07:08.62 the world is going to be messed up, 00:07:08.66\00:07:10.29 but you as a Christian need to respond this way. 00:07:10.33\00:07:14.16 Yeah, very important 00:07:14.20\00:07:15.90 that we're also nurturing our children 00:07:15.93\00:07:18.13 the appropriateness of balance. 00:07:18.17\00:07:20.67 I struggled in life not to acquiesce 00:07:20.70\00:07:23.30 to one extreme or the other 00:07:23.34\00:07:25.27 because I experienced a lot of racism 00:07:25.31\00:07:29.44 through law enforcement, 00:07:29.48\00:07:30.81 through civil authorities, through neighbors, 00:07:30.85\00:07:32.81 through teachers, medical practitioners, 00:07:32.85\00:07:35.42 on and on and on and on. 00:07:35.45\00:07:36.79 I experienced a lot of that. 00:07:36.82\00:07:38.45 But I think the greater tragedy 00:07:38.49\00:07:40.56 is when we get to the point 00:07:40.59\00:07:41.92 that we acquiesce to one extreme or the other, 00:07:41.96\00:07:44.89 where we're being, if I can say, 00:07:44.93\00:07:47.70 preoccupied with justice to an extent 00:07:47.73\00:07:50.23 that we are constantly, constantly engaged 00:07:50.27\00:07:53.57 in some form of antagonistic reaction 00:07:53.60\00:07:57.47 or we are completely passive 00:07:57.51\00:08:00.08 where we're not doing anything about it. 00:08:00.11\00:08:02.71 We started by talking about the... 00:08:02.74\00:08:05.48 Did you say pink elephant? What color was it, bro? 00:08:05.51\00:08:08.98 He didn't mention the color, he just said elephant. 00:08:09.02\00:08:11.12 Yeah, the elephant, all right, the elephant. 00:08:11.15\00:08:14.09 We started talking about the elephant in the room 00:08:14.12\00:08:16.12 and I think the bigger elephant 00:08:16.16\00:08:17.49 in the room today is the fact 00:08:17.53\00:08:18.86 that the church remains a microcosm of its society. 00:08:18.89\00:08:22.56 And if you find racism in society, 00:08:22.60\00:08:24.57 for sure you're going to find it in the church. 00:08:24.60\00:08:27.14 Nobody likes to talk about racism in the church, 00:08:27.17\00:08:30.31 but it is present. 00:08:30.34\00:08:31.67 Yeah. 00:08:31.71\00:08:33.04 It is in some sense, we may excuse, it's okay, 00:08:33.07\00:08:35.28 it's just a mass is just to let you know, 00:08:35.31\00:08:36.64 no, it's also within even our legislated infrastructure, 00:08:36.68\00:08:40.08 and there are things we need to do proactively about that. 00:08:40.12\00:08:42.92 So it's important for me to let my daughter know, 00:08:42.95\00:08:46.05 "Hey, look, there once was a time 00:08:46.09\00:08:48.89 when I was waiting for God to cure others of racism." 00:08:48.92\00:08:54.40 You see, I assume within this it being a predicament 00:08:54.43\00:08:57.43 or a result of sin as part of sanctification. 00:08:57.47\00:09:02.20 It's something that we all must overcome 00:09:02.24\00:09:05.47 before we are saved, so to speak. 00:09:05.51\00:09:07.81 Yeah. 00:09:07.84\00:09:09.18 Well, I don't think I feel that way as much anymore. 00:09:09.21\00:09:11.25 I have a different perspective of humanity, 00:09:11.28\00:09:15.38 and what sin is, and how sin impacts us, 00:09:15.42\00:09:18.29 and how the grace of God works within all of that, 00:09:18.32\00:09:20.89 and it may be within our best interest 00:09:20.92\00:09:23.43 to stop waiting for people to be cured and start acting. 00:09:23.46\00:09:28.26 So what is it that we can do on our part to ensure 00:09:28.30\00:09:32.07 we are being intentional 00:09:32.10\00:09:34.20 about not demonstrating that behavior or practice? 00:09:34.24\00:09:37.04 Yeah. 00:09:37.07\00:09:38.41 Book of Isaiah chapter 1, God says to His people, 00:09:38.44\00:09:41.81 "Look, you know, your Sabbaths and all your offerings 00:09:41.84\00:09:45.18 and everything that you're bringing to Me, 00:09:45.21\00:09:46.65 you know, they're making Me sick. 00:09:46.68\00:09:49.28 I'm not even able to receive them because 00:09:49.32\00:09:51.65 you are not demonstrating in your life true benevolence." 00:09:51.69\00:09:55.79 In another part of Isaiah, He says, 00:09:55.82\00:09:57.79 "You are neglecting to demonstrate justice, 00:09:57.83\00:10:00.46 you're not being engaged 00:10:00.50\00:10:03.10 and involved in speaking up against social injustice." 00:10:03.13\00:10:08.17 And I think that's one area 00:10:08.20\00:10:09.60 that we as a church as well as fathers, 00:10:09.64\00:10:13.48 we have got to take prime initiative in doing so. 00:10:13.51\00:10:17.35 We've got to speak up against injustice, 00:10:17.38\00:10:19.78 but we've also got to give 00:10:19.81\00:10:21.15 our children a nurturing balance 00:10:21.18\00:10:23.39 not to overreact or acquiesce to the extreme 00:10:23.42\00:10:27.19 where we ourselves 00:10:27.22\00:10:28.79 or they end up acting prejudicially 00:10:28.82\00:10:31.56 or demonstrating some racist behavior 00:10:31.59\00:10:34.10 because of how frustrated they are 00:10:34.13\00:10:36.50 over the predicament of racism. 00:10:36.53\00:10:38.20 One of the beautiful things 00:10:38.23\00:10:39.57 that I've been doing with my daughter, 00:10:39.60\00:10:41.04 I do my similar... 00:10:41.07\00:10:42.90 My three children are different shades, okay? 00:10:42.94\00:10:46.41 And I have a daughter, two boys and a daughter, 00:10:46.44\00:10:49.48 and I know how the world is, I know how the world is. 00:10:49.51\00:10:53.15 And so my wife and I, we've been telling our kids 00:10:53.18\00:10:55.65 that their skin is beautiful, their mind is beautiful, 00:10:55.68\00:11:00.02 their heart is beautiful, 00:11:00.06\00:11:02.09 you know, their personality is beautiful, 00:11:02.12\00:11:04.19 and I said because God made you beautiful, 00:11:04.23\00:11:06.39 and I also let them know, 00:11:06.43\00:11:07.76 no, you are not more beautiful than the other person, 00:11:07.80\00:11:11.00 you're not better than the other person, 00:11:11.03\00:11:13.54 you're just as beautiful, you're just as equal, 00:11:13.57\00:11:15.70 and I told them, "Could you do me a favor? 00:11:15.74\00:11:17.74 When you play with your friends, 00:11:17.77\00:11:19.11 could you tell them that their skin is beautiful, 00:11:19.14\00:11:21.88 that their hair is beautiful? 00:11:21.91\00:11:23.51 Let them know." 00:11:23.55\00:11:24.88 You know, the beautiful thing about discipline, 00:11:24.91\00:11:26.95 it's one-on-one. 00:11:26.98\00:11:28.95 When we read the Bible, God is not saying, 00:11:28.98\00:11:31.39 "Oh, let's go out and change the world one time 00:11:31.42\00:11:34.32 with a big sermon." 00:11:34.36\00:11:35.69 No, it's one-on-one. 00:11:35.72\00:11:37.43 So how do I respond to you? 00:11:37.46\00:11:40.66 I demonstrate the love of Christ to you 00:11:40.70\00:11:43.26 no matter what you bring to me, 00:11:43.30\00:11:45.00 I'm going to demonstrate love of Christ to you 00:11:45.03\00:11:46.74 and hopefully, it's contagious. 00:11:46.77\00:11:48.57 Now you go now and bring it to him. 00:11:48.60\00:11:52.04 And so that's the beauty. 00:11:52.07\00:11:53.41 If we start the one-on-one... 00:11:53.44\00:11:56.24 I pray that that that become contagious. 00:11:56.28\00:11:58.95 Amen. 00:11:58.98\00:12:00.32 And I think that's critical 00:12:00.35\00:12:01.88 because this was going to keep us sane, 00:12:01.92\00:12:04.79 Yes. you know? 00:12:04.82\00:12:06.15 And I'm reminded of... 00:12:06.19\00:12:08.69 When I speak to my girls about this, 00:12:08.72\00:12:11.89 I try not to speak to them in a biased tongue 00:12:11.93\00:12:14.30 which is very, very difficult. 00:12:14.33\00:12:16.80 You know, being a police chaplain for five years, 00:12:16.83\00:12:19.67 I worked with a lot of great police officers 00:12:19.70\00:12:22.17 that don't care what skin tone you are, 00:12:22.20\00:12:24.94 they just care about what you do 00:12:24.97\00:12:26.31 and what you do wrong. 00:12:26.34\00:12:27.68 But that's not the reality that we live in. 00:12:27.71\00:12:30.35 Yeah. 00:12:30.38\00:12:31.71 You know, a lot of them hide behind a badge. 00:12:31.75\00:12:33.52 The department that I worked in was a big county 00:12:33.55\00:12:36.99 and not every single one of them 00:12:37.02\00:12:39.42 subscribed to treating everybody equally, 00:12:39.45\00:12:42.36 the power trip, 00:12:42.39\00:12:44.16 you know, and when I got arrested 00:12:44.19\00:12:46.90 by my own department 00:12:46.93\00:12:48.66 due to a bar brawl back before I knew Christ, 00:12:48.70\00:12:54.64 one of my best friends is still there, 00:12:54.67\00:12:56.74 he said he would have handled it differently, 00:12:56.77\00:12:58.64 simply because the one person that did apprehend me 00:12:58.67\00:13:02.21 and chose to treat me like I was nothing, 00:13:02.24\00:13:05.91 slammed me everywhere, I mean, 00:13:05.95\00:13:07.65 I have bruise, cuts, tasered, 00:13:07.68\00:13:10.12 everything, the works, so to speak. 00:13:10.15\00:13:12.62 You know, and now working as a chaplain for them, 00:13:12.65\00:13:16.16 my girls don't know the difference 00:13:16.19\00:13:17.93 between the chaplain and officer, 00:13:17.96\00:13:19.69 they see the uniform. 00:13:19.73\00:13:21.10 And I'm trying to teach them, 00:13:21.13\00:13:22.46 you know, that it's not a badge issue, 00:13:22.50\00:13:26.03 it's a heart issue, you know? 00:13:26.07\00:13:28.57 But then again, when I see things, 00:13:28.60\00:13:32.27 you know, posted online, 00:13:32.31\00:13:33.88 when I see videos, when I see this, 00:13:33.91\00:13:36.04 you have the one handful of people 00:13:36.08\00:13:39.38 that, you know, jump the gun automatically 00:13:39.41\00:13:42.25 to say the officer is guilty. 00:13:42.28\00:13:44.29 But then you got the other ones, 00:13:44.32\00:13:46.19 you know, that are correct as well 00:13:46.22\00:13:48.06 saying that they were treated unjustly. 00:13:48.09\00:13:50.19 For me, I stand in the middle 00:13:50.23\00:13:52.09 because I bleed blue as they say, 00:13:52.13\00:13:55.36 and I'm also a civilian. 00:13:55.40\00:13:58.23 You know, how do we teach our kids? 00:13:58.27\00:14:01.84 How do you teach them that the very people 00:14:01.87\00:14:03.64 that are supposed to serve and protect you might kill you? 00:14:03.67\00:14:07.78 Mercy. 00:14:07.81\00:14:09.14 But you will not know what they're... 00:14:09.18\00:14:11.48 You know, and it goes beyond 00:14:11.51\00:14:13.98 saying yes, sir, no, sir, yes, ma'am, no, ma'am, 00:14:14.02\00:14:16.18 it goes beyond that, 00:14:16.22\00:14:18.22 how do you teach them and train them 00:14:18.25\00:14:20.66 that to walk with Christ in such a way 00:14:20.69\00:14:23.36 that if their life is unjustly taken... 00:14:23.39\00:14:26.63 Mercy. Mercy. 00:14:26.66\00:14:29.40 That it's okay because there's a kingdom 00:14:29.43\00:14:31.43 and a crown waiting for them, 00:14:31.47\00:14:33.20 how do you teach your kids that? 00:14:33.23\00:14:35.07 I'm going to let you... 00:14:35.10\00:14:36.44 Senior. 00:14:36.47\00:14:37.81 Yeah, that's hard teaching as they would say in scripture. 00:14:37.84\00:14:42.34 I have more testimonies and more stories 00:14:45.88\00:14:48.58 than time would allow to share. 00:14:48.62\00:14:51.52 I try to direct my own daughter 00:14:51.55\00:14:53.32 and other youth that I have mentored. 00:14:53.36\00:14:55.22 I've been very involved in mentorship, 00:14:55.26\00:14:57.06 we keep mentioning this referencing, 00:14:57.09\00:14:59.33 which is also very important, mentor our young men. 00:14:59.36\00:15:04.30 You will see things in life 00:15:04.33\00:15:05.77 that will give you a balance to understand. 00:15:05.80\00:15:07.64 We all have negative experiences, 00:15:07.67\00:15:09.67 but you have to look at both sides. 00:15:09.70\00:15:12.44 And God has allowed me some experiences in life 00:15:12.47\00:15:16.75 where I have learned in a very transparent manner 00:15:16.78\00:15:20.55 what human nature is like. 00:15:20.58\00:15:22.28 It's important that we instill 00:15:26.05\00:15:30.23 that sense of you are not alone, 00:15:30.26\00:15:32.53 you're walking with God, you're always with God. 00:15:32.56\00:15:36.36 We have to teach our children 00:15:36.40\00:15:39.07 the necessary traits of survival. 00:15:39.10\00:15:41.97 I'll be it whether you're living 00:15:42.00\00:15:43.34 in whatever urban community you're living in, 00:15:43.37\00:15:45.97 and there's an equal threat once you step out your door, 00:15:46.01\00:15:49.21 at least that's how it was when I grew up. 00:15:49.24\00:15:51.61 It's real bizarre 00:15:51.65\00:15:55.55 that you can hear people say in some sense today, 00:15:55.58\00:15:59.45 "I'm worried about my child going outside today 00:15:59.49\00:16:01.79 because I don't know 00:16:01.82\00:16:03.16 if a police officer is going to kill him." 00:16:03.19\00:16:04.53 Mercy. You know. 00:16:04.56\00:16:05.96 But there are people saying that. 00:16:05.99\00:16:08.36 In my teen years, it was more, 00:16:08.40\00:16:11.70 "I'm nervous about going outside today 00:16:11.73\00:16:13.17 'cause I don't know if somebody, period, 00:16:13.20\00:16:15.77 who it's another gang member, 00:16:15.80\00:16:17.91 or somebody from another neighborhood, 00:16:17.94\00:16:19.77 or that don't like me, 00:16:19.81\00:16:21.14 or another race that don't like me 00:16:21.18\00:16:22.51 or whatever and yes, 00:16:22.54\00:16:23.88 inclusive of that were civil authorities. 00:16:23.91\00:16:26.65 But now today, it's been amplified, 00:16:26.68\00:16:28.35 in the sense, we're people... 00:16:28.38\00:16:29.72 The greatest concern especially for a young black men, 00:16:29.75\00:16:33.09 or Latino men, or any minority group seems to be 00:16:33.12\00:16:37.26 "I'm afraid of law enforcement, 00:16:37.29\00:16:39.59 I'm afraid of what can happen to me." 00:16:39.63\00:16:41.46 So yes, I tell my daughter once again to be realistic, 00:16:41.50\00:16:45.23 once again to be careful of her surroundings 00:16:45.27\00:16:48.54 or whereabouts, her behavior. 00:16:48.57\00:16:50.71 But within that, yes, like yourself, 00:16:50.74\00:16:53.24 I think there's a degree of 00:16:53.27\00:16:56.58 me accepting the worst scenario 00:16:56.61\00:17:01.28 and the only thing I can do about that is pray, 00:17:01.32\00:17:04.75 you know, that my child not be a casualty to racism 00:17:04.79\00:17:08.92 in any form from any particular group, 00:17:08.96\00:17:12.66 civil, or social. 00:17:12.69\00:17:15.96 Yeah, you know, 00:17:16.00\00:17:17.33 we as Christians subscribe to grace. 00:17:17.37\00:17:21.64 And when I look back over my life, I see grace. 00:17:21.67\00:17:24.74 Yes. 00:17:24.77\00:17:26.11 And when I was a young teenager, early 20s, 00:17:26.14\00:17:29.78 and I was very core into, you know, black revolutionists, 00:17:29.81\00:17:34.22 living in Harlem, 00:17:34.25\00:17:35.72 you know, just getting tired of the racism, 00:17:35.75\00:17:38.35 the anger was brewing up, 00:17:38.39\00:17:40.16 you know, just felt helpless. 00:17:40.19\00:17:43.32 Coming from Jamaica at a young age 00:17:43.36\00:17:44.96 but raised in Harlem, New York, 00:17:44.99\00:17:46.73 you know, just get, 00:17:46.76\00:17:48.10 you know, when people talk about police brutality now, 00:17:48.13\00:17:51.17 it's only because of social media we see, 00:17:51.20\00:17:53.64 but this thing been going on for decades. 00:17:53.67\00:17:55.60 I agree. I agree. 00:17:55.64\00:17:56.97 Decades, maybe almost over a century based on... 00:17:57.01\00:18:00.28 Depending on time, 00:18:00.31\00:18:01.64 but so I remember one time I was thrown against a wall, 00:18:01.68\00:18:06.31 you know, I was frisked, I was searched 00:18:06.35\00:18:08.62 just because literally 'cause I'm black. 00:18:08.65\00:18:12.25 And so our children hear these things 00:18:12.29\00:18:14.59 and our children see these things, 00:18:14.62\00:18:16.62 and so instead of going down into the core 00:18:16.66\00:18:19.19 and bill out that anger like I had 00:18:19.23\00:18:22.43 'cause there's many times 00:18:22.46\00:18:23.80 I could have been killed by police, 00:18:23.83\00:18:26.00 there's been times I could've been killed by my own 00:18:26.03\00:18:27.90 by others. 00:18:27.94\00:18:29.27 But when I... 00:18:29.30\00:18:30.64 So instead of brewing up that part, 00:18:30.67\00:18:33.78 I really try to demonstrate to them 00:18:33.81\00:18:37.18 how Jesus would respond to this. 00:18:37.21\00:18:38.95 Yes. 00:18:38.98\00:18:40.32 I mean, let's just be honest, 00:18:40.35\00:18:41.68 this is why I began saying at the beginning 00:18:41.72\00:18:43.08 that we need to search in ourselves, 00:18:43.12\00:18:45.35 even the purest heart, 00:18:45.39\00:18:46.86 human being is full of some kind of racism, 00:18:46.89\00:18:50.39 some kind of division. 00:18:50.43\00:18:51.89 When sin entered this world, look at the response. 00:18:51.93\00:18:54.96 We supposed to be great, right? 00:18:55.00\00:18:56.67 The first thing Adam does is does what? 00:18:56.70\00:18:58.43 He blames his wife. 00:18:58.47\00:19:00.17 The next chapter, we go into Cain and Abel. 00:19:00.20\00:19:03.14 And then it just gets worst after that, and it just builds. 00:19:03.17\00:19:06.98 Division started in the kingdom when Satan override, you know? 00:19:07.01\00:19:10.78 So this division thing is to our DNA. 00:19:10.81\00:19:15.28 So the only solution 00:19:15.32\00:19:17.25 is a heart transplant from Jesus Christ. 00:19:17.29\00:19:21.96 Only solution. 00:19:21.99\00:19:23.32 It's true, it's just so difficult. 00:19:23.36\00:19:25.13 I mean, it's hard like one of the things 00:19:25.16\00:19:27.16 that I try to instill in my girls 00:19:27.20\00:19:28.53 is know your roots. 00:19:28.56\00:19:29.96 Yes. 00:19:30.00\00:19:31.33 You know, for me, I struggled so long 00:19:31.37\00:19:33.17 knowing who I was, 00:19:33.20\00:19:34.90 I knew I wasn't in Christ and... 00:19:34.94\00:19:36.57 But what I wanted to, you know, where do... 00:19:36.60\00:19:37.94 'cause I look at my mom, 00:19:37.97\00:19:39.44 she's, you know, Italian, so she's very light, 00:19:39.47\00:19:41.84 my dad is dark, he's black, 00:19:41.88\00:19:44.48 and I kept asking my dad, "You're black, 00:19:44.51\00:19:47.02 where do you come...?" 00:19:47.05\00:19:48.38 "I don't know, son, I'm just Puerto Rican." 00:19:48.42\00:19:49.95 I'm like, "Dad, you're black, 00:19:49.98\00:19:51.32 what do you mean you don't know where you come from?" 00:19:51.35\00:19:53.12 I remember, a couple years ago, 00:19:53.15\00:19:54.96 I went to visit my family, sat down, 00:19:54.99\00:19:57.36 they brought out a whole photo album 00:19:57.39\00:20:00.36 of my great grandfather and my great grandmother. 00:20:00.40\00:20:03.97 My great grandfather was super dark, 00:20:04.00\00:20:07.04 you know, and my aunt shared with me, 00:20:07.07\00:20:11.17 "Well, you're here 00:20:11.21\00:20:13.01 because of your great great-grandmother 00:20:13.04\00:20:17.65 being raped." 00:20:17.68\00:20:19.01 Mercy. 00:20:19.05\00:20:20.38 Mercy. "She was a slave. 00:20:20.42\00:20:22.85 So you're here because..." 00:20:22.88\00:20:25.19 I didn't know how to take that. 00:20:25.22\00:20:27.26 Is it a blessing that I'm here, yes, 00:20:27.29\00:20:29.36 but is it a blessing that I'm here 00:20:29.39\00:20:30.73 because a relative of mine got raped, 00:20:30.76\00:20:34.46 you know, and I started to cry 00:20:34.50\00:20:36.40 because it's like something clicked. 00:20:36.43\00:20:39.13 You know, fast forward to that, 00:20:39.17\00:20:41.14 you know, experiencing racism in the church 00:20:41.17\00:20:45.27 where I'm told by my brethren, 00:20:45.31\00:20:49.54 "You're not dark enough," 00:20:49.58\00:20:50.91 or "You're not light enough," you know. 00:20:50.95\00:20:54.15 It's all this skin issue, even though it's a sin issue, 00:20:54.18\00:20:59.59 we looked at... Look at the skin issue 00:20:59.62\00:21:02.39 and I'm like make up your mind, 00:21:02.42\00:21:04.76 you know, and I did, I told my girls, 00:21:04.79\00:21:06.59 "Know your roots and make it up in your heads 00:21:06.63\00:21:10.10 that even though they see your skin 00:21:10.13\00:21:12.80 and they may see who you are, 00:21:12.83\00:21:15.44 it doesn't matter 00:21:15.47\00:21:17.01 because Christ is the one that you need." 00:21:17.04\00:21:19.41 Yeah. 00:21:19.44\00:21:20.78 And yeah, that sounds pretty and fluffy 00:21:20.81\00:21:22.14 but realistically that's where it's coming down to where 00:21:22.18\00:21:26.61 it's either you're going to let everything affect you, 00:21:26.65\00:21:30.05 or you're going to be of no use to your family, 00:21:30.09\00:21:33.36 or you find some way to muster up the strength 00:21:33.39\00:21:37.09 to hang on even just to the garment of Christ 00:21:37.13\00:21:41.30 and just "Help me, Lord, 00:21:41.33\00:21:44.17 'cause I'm ready to fight." 00:21:44.20\00:21:45.53 Mercy. Yeah. 00:21:45.57\00:21:46.90 I'm ready to go out there and decimate this 00:21:46.94\00:21:49.37 but we battle not against flesh and blood. 00:21:49.40\00:21:52.11 Amen. Amen. 00:21:52.14\00:21:53.48 What can I do to control, 00:21:53.51\00:21:54.84 you know, how do you teach your kids to rise above? 00:21:54.88\00:21:58.11 Yeah, I think as pastors talked about this before 00:21:58.15\00:22:02.22 and that is understanding 00:22:02.25\00:22:03.59 that if you're the pastor of a church, 00:22:03.62\00:22:05.39 you're also the leader of a community. 00:22:05.42\00:22:07.99 You should be the leader 00:22:08.02\00:22:09.36 within that surrounding community of the church. 00:22:09.39\00:22:11.59 We ought to be involved 00:22:11.63\00:22:14.13 and we ought to have direct access 00:22:14.16\00:22:16.36 to all people groups within that community 00:22:16.40\00:22:19.23 and be engaged in ensuring that we're doing what we can do 00:22:19.27\00:22:23.20 to break down those walls, 00:22:23.24\00:22:25.07 to build new relationships within varied ethnic groups, 00:22:25.11\00:22:29.08 take time to find out in your community 00:22:29.11\00:22:32.08 if there is a specific minority group 00:22:32.11\00:22:36.35 that is being marginalized, 00:22:36.38\00:22:38.62 this group in a trailer park, a group of... 00:22:38.65\00:22:43.36 farmers or farmhands 00:22:43.39\00:22:46.70 or a migrant population, a refugee population, 00:22:46.73\00:22:51.17 you know, we should do our best to be engaged 00:22:51.20\00:22:54.24 in building bridges and taking down walls 00:22:54.27\00:22:57.64 that keep those divides, 00:22:57.67\00:22:59.04 and we should be a voice of advocacy. 00:22:59.07\00:23:01.74 Yeah. 00:23:01.78\00:23:03.11 Intentionally, not by accident, 00:23:03.14\00:23:05.48 which is what I see often happen even within our church, 00:23:05.51\00:23:08.32 usually when we are involved in something 00:23:08.35\00:23:11.52 that relates to some civil issue 00:23:11.55\00:23:13.89 that needs attention, we're kind of there by default. 00:23:13.92\00:23:17.03 We're not there intentionally, and that that has to change. 00:23:17.06\00:23:20.50 We have to be intentional 00:23:20.53\00:23:22.46 about how we go about addressing those issues 00:23:22.50\00:23:24.90 and I pass the same degree of responsibility 00:23:24.93\00:23:27.87 and accountability to my child. 00:23:27.90\00:23:29.44 Yeah. 00:23:29.47\00:23:30.81 And I'm so grateful how we were talking yesterday about, 00:23:30.84\00:23:32.54 you know, this whole, the one day 00:23:32.57\00:23:35.24 where your son or your daughter was a little toddler crawling 00:23:35.28\00:23:38.68 and you were perplexed about the ambiguity 00:23:38.71\00:23:42.18 of what's going to happen over the next 20 or 30 years 00:23:42.22\00:23:44.82 and now here you are today, 00:23:44.85\00:23:46.55 daughter is 21 years old, 00:23:46.59\00:23:48.19 his kids are approaching teen years, 00:23:48.22\00:23:50.56 yours are toddler still yet. 00:23:50.59\00:23:52.33 But it's good to step back 00:23:52.36\00:23:53.70 and look and see the fruit of the product, 00:23:53.73\00:23:56.90 of how God has helped you within that nurture process, 00:23:56.93\00:24:00.54 within His pouring out of grace and His sharing of wisdom 00:24:00.57\00:24:04.04 and the biblical principles that we hold fast to us 00:24:04.07\00:24:06.84 as we train and nurture our children. 00:24:06.88\00:24:08.71 Hopefully, one day, yes, they will walk 00:24:08.74\00:24:11.35 and demonstrate the integrity that pleases God. 00:24:11.38\00:24:15.02 All of us or especially those of us who are pastors, 00:24:15.05\00:24:18.92 if you're a pastor of a church, 00:24:18.95\00:24:20.86 you are the leader of a community 00:24:20.89\00:24:22.32 or you are a community leader, 00:24:22.36\00:24:24.29 you should be involved 00:24:24.33\00:24:26.36 in the social climate of that community, 00:24:26.39\00:24:29.46 you should be observant or even searching 00:24:29.50\00:24:33.17 to see if there are groups that are being marginalized, 00:24:33.20\00:24:36.24 that group in the trailer park, 00:24:36.27\00:24:38.17 or that group of migrant farm workers, 00:24:38.21\00:24:41.11 or maybe a refugee group that has settled in the community. 00:24:41.14\00:24:46.75 We need to be involved in intentional 00:24:46.78\00:24:49.25 about breaking down walls that cause divide, 00:24:49.28\00:24:52.99 and we need to be building bridges, 00:24:53.02\00:24:55.49 and we need to be intentional about it. 00:24:55.52\00:24:57.86 I think it's a tragedy that often in the church 00:24:57.89\00:25:00.36 when we are involved in some area of civil need, 00:25:00.40\00:25:05.10 we're there accidentally, we're kind of there by default. 00:25:05.13\00:25:08.20 We're not there by some intentional proactive plan 00:25:08.24\00:25:12.41 that whereby we really cared, 00:25:12.44\00:25:15.21 we need to get beyond also within our church structure 00:25:15.24\00:25:18.95 to be sure that we not foster environments 00:25:18.98\00:25:22.08 that are integrated based on tolerance. 00:25:22.12\00:25:25.55 Now what I mean by that is we have to do more 00:25:25.59\00:25:28.42 than tolerating the presence of other people. 00:25:28.46\00:25:32.26 This is another unfortunate fact. 00:25:32.29\00:25:35.03 Even in many of our integrated congregations, 00:25:35.06\00:25:38.60 people are mixed and integrated in there, 00:25:38.63\00:25:40.57 but they're kind of tolerating each other, 00:25:40.60\00:25:42.37 they have not truly welcomed the presence of each other, 00:25:42.40\00:25:46.01 whether black, or white, 00:25:46.04\00:25:47.38 or Asian, or Latino, or whatever it is. 00:25:47.41\00:25:49.11 We're kind of just there tolerating each other. 00:25:49.14\00:25:51.75 That has to stop. Yeah. 00:25:51.78\00:25:53.11 So I try my best within being responsible 00:25:53.15\00:25:57.62 and accountable to nurture those values 00:25:57.65\00:26:00.32 to my daughter also 00:26:00.36\00:26:01.99 that she needs to be both responsible 00:26:02.02\00:26:04.79 and accountable for how she responds to her society. 00:26:04.83\00:26:09.00 I think it's very important. 00:26:09.03\00:26:10.97 And if we demonstrate that within our congregations 00:26:11.00\00:26:13.47 and within our communities, 00:26:13.50\00:26:15.10 then we are helping to be part of the solution 00:26:15.14\00:26:18.77 and not just part of the problem. 00:26:18.81\00:26:20.24 Yes. 00:26:20.28\00:26:21.61 And a lot of efforts towards, 00:26:21.64\00:26:22.98 as I spoke earlier and mentioned, 00:26:23.01\00:26:24.41 this natural inclination, 00:26:24.45\00:26:26.95 this human inclination to swing towards 00:26:26.98\00:26:30.69 one extreme of the pendulum or the other, 00:26:30.72\00:26:33.56 not to acquiesce to the group that's, 00:26:33.59\00:26:35.82 you know, like you were saying, you get that sense of, 00:26:35.86\00:26:37.93 "You know, man, I'm so fed up with this, 00:26:37.96\00:26:39.63 I want to fight," 00:26:39.66\00:26:41.26 you know, and we got to be careful. 00:26:41.30\00:26:43.13 We got to fight constructively, not the fighting that's, 00:26:43.16\00:26:46.40 you know, matching violence for violence, an eye for an eye. 00:26:46.43\00:26:49.27 That goes nowhere. 00:26:49.30\00:26:50.84 You know, we lift up this book, 00:26:50.87\00:26:52.37 we open it, and we can see 00:26:52.41\00:26:54.08 from Moses and Zipporah all the way 00:26:54.11\00:26:57.88 through to Peter's wrestling 00:26:57.91\00:27:01.42 with this problem in the New Testament. 00:27:01.45\00:27:03.72 So even in Scripture, it's evident. 00:27:03.75\00:27:06.65 And what we have to do is just be committed 00:27:06.69\00:27:10.23 and dependent to the grace of God 00:27:10.26\00:27:13.23 and to ensure that we're allowing Christ 00:27:13.26\00:27:15.60 to live in and through us, demonstrating His love. 00:27:15.63\00:27:20.34 The point that you brought out in Isaiah, 00:27:20.37\00:27:24.37 and Isaiah keeps talking about it, 00:27:24.41\00:27:26.47 there is another part that we swing to, 00:27:26.51\00:27:29.18 and this is the part I believe that God hates the most, 00:27:29.21\00:27:31.75 indifference. 00:27:31.78\00:27:34.58 Indifference. 00:27:34.62\00:27:35.95 I teach my children, I demonstrate to my children, 00:27:35.98\00:27:38.39 I want beautiful things I want one of my churches, 00:27:38.42\00:27:40.99 we have a variety of different races, 00:27:41.02\00:27:44.73 different culture, and I express them 00:27:44.76\00:27:47.63 the importance of bringing that to the table. 00:27:47.66\00:27:50.93 Bring it to the table in worship, 00:27:50.97\00:27:52.97 bring it to the table 00:27:53.00\00:27:54.34 in how you deliver the Word of God, 00:27:54.37\00:27:55.70 you share the Word of God. 00:27:55.74\00:27:57.07 Let's talk about the beauty of each other. 00:27:57.11\00:27:59.74 Man, and we can keep going on and on 00:27:59.77\00:28:02.08 'cause we're going to have to pick this up again. 00:28:02.11\00:28:05.18 Stay prayerful, and show the love of Christ. 00:28:05.21\00:28:08.62 Thank you for watching. 00:28:08.65\00:28:09.98